JOYFULJUDYLYNN   19,203
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JOYFULJUDYLYNN's Recent Blog Entries

Surgery is scheduled!

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

I saw the surgeon this afternoon. And after a lot of hemming and hawing about doing the surgery here vs. Seattle, he agreed. BARELY. Apparently he's the best hernia surgeon in town, but he said it's a very complicated and HUGE hernia (he called it a "monster hernia"). However, he was concerned that the university of WA hospital would take too long to get me in and it needs to be done asap. So I'm scheduled for Tuesday at 2:15.

He is a little unsure of what the surgery will all entail until he opens me up and sees. He's considering a "muscle release procedure" so that the muscles will stretch further over the very large hole in my abdominal wall. It will increase my recovery time, but could also make the repair more effective.

I have to admit though... I have the BEST support system possible! My mother in law is coming by train on Sunday. She will stay as long as we need her. (LOVE her!) My parents are also helping out a ton, of course! My husband is doing whatever he can to support my physically and emotionally. My primary concern through all this is that my 4 yr old daughter is taken good care of. If I'm worried about her it will do me no good. And I don't want this to be traumatizing for her. I'll be in the hospital several days, so I know she'll visit me there, but I want it to be when I'm alert and able to hug/smile/talk. Even my friends and co-workers are being great and offering to help in any way possible. Nothing like taking 3-4 weeks off work with almost no notice!

As far as activity... there is none right now. I am hurting, and a lot of activity could make the hernia incarcerate which would turn it into an emergency. We don't want that! I'm taking it pretty easy, doing some light laundry, playing with my daughter, reading, etc.

As for food... well, there isn't much. I'm able to hold down foods/fluids in VERY small amounts. I've probably only kept down about 400 calories today. But it is what it is. This isn't about ideal, long term diet. I'll get back to that in a week or two. This is about getting over this hurdle, healing, and getting back to my goals!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUVTOBOWL 2/7/2013 9:01PM

    Glad you have your surgery scheduled and it's soon. I'll be praying for you. Thank God for a good support system, there's nothing like people who love and care for you to be there for you in your time of need. I know your daughter will be in good hands and well taken care of, so don't you worry, just be ready to rest and heal.

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KING_SLAYER 2/7/2013 6:55PM

    Glad to hear that you are already scheduled to go in, and soon too! Best of luck to you and to the surgeon, may everything work out better then anticipated!

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MARIANNE9855 2/7/2013 3:36PM

    So happy there is an end in sight for you. Your daughter will be fine especially with all the support around for her and then you will have some extra time together when you are home recovering. emoticon

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SUGAR0814 2/7/2013 11:02AM

    emoticon Keeping you in my prayers!

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GOODLOOKIN69 2/7/2013 9:44AM

    It sounds like you are going into this positively and that always makes for a better recovery. You have great support and seem like a strong person. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery. Good luck!! Best wishes to your family as they go through this with you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IROCK40 2/7/2013 9:26AM

    Look at how well prepared you are! Rest and take good care our yourself. emoticon

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RUNNING-TURTLE 2/7/2013 8:16AM

    We will be thinking of you.

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LOLABLACK69 2/7/2013 1:22AM

    Don't think I'm crazy for pushing "I liked this" button - my point was that I admire your positive thinking through all of this.
I wish you all well, and a very quick recovery! emoticon emoticon

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WACFIT 2/6/2013 11:28PM

    emoticon

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SHRINKING_SARA 2/6/2013 11:20PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SEATTLE58 2/6/2013 11:07PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon in a BIG way with lots of emoticon for you too! Here's wishing you the very best with your surgery and recovery too! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Karen emoticon

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ALLIEALLIE2 2/6/2013 10:55PM

    emoticon Well wishes coming your way!

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COXBETH 2/6/2013 10:21PM

    I'm so so so so glad you have such a strong support network! It's going to be awesome to get past this hurdle. Keep the end in mind when the going gets tough!!

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2BFREE2LIVE 2/6/2013 9:53PM

    Sending hugs and prayers to you and the family.
Give that little one a big Hug from me. You will be fine and you know that your daughter will be well taken care of and with that not to worry about just assure her that when you get home you will be an even healthier mommy to have as a play mate. emoticon

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CARRAND 2/6/2013 9:07PM

    You will be in my thoughts.

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ROSIEPD 2/6/2013 9:02PM

    Wow! You, your medical team and your family will definitely be in our prayers. I hope this takes care of it all finally!
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Woo Hoo! I'm "Obese"!

Monday, February 04, 2013

I saw the doctor today about my hernia.

Bad news: Surgery is inevitable, and will be sooner rather than later. She wants me to see a surgeon this week, and a CT scan will likely be soon as well. Since I've had a life threatening bowel obstruction before, I'm at a high risk for another one. The big question now is if the local guy will even be willing to operate since this will be the 5th repair of this hernia.

Good news: I'm obese!!! Ok... that doesn't look like great news, but it IS! My BMI is no longer in the "Morbidly Obese" category, where it has been for 20+ years. I've been downgraded into the Obese category.. and I'm THRILLED about it! Go me! Can't wait until I'm "overweight". emoticon My doctor was also really excited about this milestone, explaining that medically it puts me at MUCH lower risk for a plethora of diseases.

Anyway... at the moment I'm a bit numb with anxiety and completely overwhelmed. I have a full time job, a mom with alzheimers, and a 4 year old. I am SO not prepared to be stuck in a bed for 2 weeks, and healing for 6-8 weeks. However, I have faith that God sees the bigger picture and has a plan for me. I will NOT give up on my dreams and goals because of this.

I have been "grounded" to just the recumbent bike at the gym. Zero weights. So I will be on the bike. At the moment this looks like Mount Everest. But I am determined to make it a bump in the road.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COXBETH 2/6/2013 2:55PM

    CONGRATS! On the BMI numbers AND on the positive attitude, even if you have to hold on to it with gritted teeth. :) My mom freaked out about being out of commission after a surgery as well - she's really the caretaker for a lot of people. The silver lining for her was finding out how many people were willing to return the favor and take a little of the burden off her during her recovery. And, even though she doesn't say it, I think it was also gratifying for her to see that now my dad and I and everyone else realize just how much she gets done everyday. I think we all have a healthier respect for her now. Hopefully you'll get some of the same!

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LOLABLACK69 2/6/2013 8:23AM

    Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out great for you! emoticon

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WACFIT 2/5/2013 2:01PM

    Doing great! Congrats on lowering your BMI! That is a great milestone. You are headed to healthy, one step at a time! Great attitude.
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RUNNING-TURTLE 2/5/2013 1:16PM

    Love your attitude. Each hurdle brings us closer to our goals. Wishing you lots of luck, and praying for everything to go well as you would like.

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SUGAR0814 2/5/2013 9:50AM

    Great attitude about your situation which will help you concur any obstacle!
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DMORGAN1009 2/5/2013 9:27AM

    Congratulations on the BMI change. That is a BIG deal, and you should be very proud of yourself! You have a great attitude towards your weight loss goals, and having this surgery. I wish you the best of luck! Hope you start to feel better soon! Keep on Sparking!!

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2BFREE2LIVE 2/5/2013 2:43AM

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, you can manage this and just stay positive, like you said God has a plan for you and he will show you soon what that might be.
I wish I was there I would be by your side and with your little one every day.
Hang in there and be strong. emoticon

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MARIANNE9855 2/5/2013 1:34AM

    your dr must be so proud of you! With every thing else you have accomplished I know you can get through this too. emoticon

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MELMOMOF4 2/4/2013 10:58PM

    god doesnt give up on us so we shouldnt either. he will get you through this. he will also make sure that there is help for you while you go through this. you will get up this mountain. and congrats.

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KATRINAKRAUT 2/4/2013 9:39PM

    You have some challenges to be sure. I agree with your Doctor about what a difference you have made to your overall health. Your blood work will reflect the changes. Good for you. be proud. Stay strong and ask for help if you need it!

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TARAFROMTX1 2/4/2013 9:37PM

    WTG on the BMI!!! So sorry to hear about having to have a surgery.. But I have to say I LOVE your attitude!!! Hang in there my friend!! God will see you threw it all! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SEATTLE58 2/4/2013 9:36PM

    I'm thinking of you big-time and emoticon to you for being in the obese range! That is exciting! Any pounds that we can go down on, can sure make our health tons better! emoticon Good luck with your surgery coming up and the others things that are entailed. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THESUBY 2/4/2013 9:24PM

    Good job! Keep it up!
There's a silver lining with the surgery; at least we live in times where medical procedures like that are available and relatively safe. 30, 40 years ago it would have been different.
Hang in there! You're on the right path!

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Anxiety about sizing OUT of a plus size store?

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Weird, right? But yes! I'm having some anxiety about this.

Yesterday I was pretty down about my recurrent hernia and beginning the process of surgical consultation all over again. But after some prayer and emotional re-grouping, I am trying to rest in the belief that God sees the big picture. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change...." Yep, I've been praying that a lot. I'm instead focusing on things I can change and do.... like eating well, exercising consistently, and.... buying jeans that FIT me!

A couple weeks ago I was SHOCKED that the size 16 jeans fit me. Unfortunately, we didn't have the money to buy them, but I was still thrilled about fitting. But my 18's have been getting looser and looser and are just plain uncomfortable at this point! So back to the mall our family went today.

Lane Bryant has been my "go-to" store for 22 years. When I was too large to fit in anything they carried in-store, I was a faithful catalog shopper (remember when we called to order stuff rather than just doing it with a few clicks of the mouse?). As I lost some of the weight, it was the store I went to and knew that I'd be treated kindly as I looked for clothes that fit me. I know what styles/designs, etc fit me in that store. I'm COMFORTABLE with that store. And frankly... being comfortable can be your enemy when you are trying to change. Why? Because being comfortable lends little motivation to change.

So today I'm in my comfortable little Lane Bryant world, trying on jeans. There's a great jeans sale going on, and so I thought I'd buy the 16's that fit great now, and buy a 14's for later. But in the dressing room, I grabbed the wrong pair. I accidentally tried on the 14's.... and they zipped & closed! Now, don't get me wrong... they weren't pretty, but they went on me. At first, I was ELATED! WooHoo! I can see my body changing right now, although the scale is moving only in spurts.

And then it hit me.... anxiety. Why? Because I already bought the smallest band size bras they carry in my favorite design. And I've been too small for their shirts for months. And now I'm able to close their smallest jeans???? I'm sizing out of my favorite store??? This should bring joy! This should bring elation! And in some ways, it DOES. But it also brings anxiety.

I don't know how to not be a "plus size" girl. I've been in 18+ sizes since I was about 16 years old. I'm going on 39. That's my entire adult life defining myself as such. And beyond the pride in myself (which is there!), and the excitement about shopping in more stores (which is there!), if I'm honest, I have to admit I'm also scared. Because I have to start re-defining myself, and challenging the image of myself I have in my mind.

Some days this journey is just plain weird.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EOWYNRUSS 2/10/2013 9:47PM

    Wow, do I know how you feel. Several years ago, when I lost 40 pounds, I had the same problem. I had a shape emerging, & had no idea where I was going to shop. I told 2 girls in my judo class that I didn't know where to get "normal size" jeans. I have an odd shape--no hourglass figure for me, I'm more like a Rockstar energy drink can--straight up and down. They were very sympathetic and recommended Old Navy, because they had 3 different style fits for pants. I went there on a fact finding mission, and lo and behold, got jeans that fit. It was so strange, standing in a trendy store, shopping off the same shelves as the skinny people. I also got clothes from my diet buddy, who is shorter, and smaller than I am. Her fat clothes became my thin clothes (after I let all the hems back down). Ease into it, do a little trying on each week, you'll find the right places to go. Congrats!

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WALKINGMAMMA 2/7/2013 8:42PM

    I so get it. I felt the same way. I LOVED Lane Bryant! Think of it this way.. Your options are getting soooooooo much bigger as you get smaller. The selection of cute clothes will be wide open to you. Enjoy the journey and most importantly......get rid of the clothes as they get too big... You WILL NOT fit into them again! I love to frequent thrift stores, especially as I was going down in sizes. Why spend lots of money on something that you will only wear a couple of months. emoticon emoticon

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SUECHRIS50 2/6/2013 3:09PM

    Girl I just love your enthusiasm!You are doing great,I will pray for your speedy recovery!

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WILDFLOWERMA 2/4/2013 10:59PM

    I can definitely relate to what you posted. Lane Bryant has also been a safe haven for me. However, I have noticed them getting much more expensive as of late. A $50 shirt! No, thank you! Not only will we feel great when we can buy in regular stores, our wallets will thank us. Congrats on your progress!

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LILISUPERHERO 2/4/2013 9:08PM

    Congrats on reaching such a difficult milestone!! In a little while, you'll embrace your newfound freedom to shop! emoticon

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TEACHFIRST268 2/3/2013 9:37PM

    I completely understand!! I went through this this past summer. It was the weirdest feeling while looking at a Lane Bryant catalog and thinking about do I like this top, those pants, etc...then stopping myself and realizing, wait a minute. I can't shop there any more! It's very strange - you're developing a new sense of self.

It's all GOOD changes, though! Like everything else on this journey, tackle it one step at a time.

Just tonight - walking through Target while running errands, I walked right past all of the clothes because I've never been able to buy anything there. Then it hit me, wait a minute, I CAN look at these clothes now! This time, rather than that weird feeling - it DID put a smile on my face.

You're doing great! Keep it up!


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SUGAR0814 2/3/2013 9:19PM

    emoticon Congrats!

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CARRAND 2/3/2013 7:33PM

    I went through the same thing as I lost 70 pounds. I was a Talbot's shopper, but I always shopped in their Women's store. I lost more than 25 pounds while I was laid up with a broken ankle, and once I was walking again, I headed to Talbot's for new jeans. The Women's jeans were all too big! So I crossed over into the Ladies Store. I reached for the largest jeans in the Ladies (18), and they were too big! I got the next smaller size (16), and another pair in the next smaller size (14), too. I was thrilled! Now I wear a size 10 or 8 and I can shop in any store I like! You will get used to it, believe me!

I told my story to the sales people at Talbot's and they were so nice about helping me find just the right things.

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KLMEIRING 2/3/2013 6:35PM

    Thanks for sharing your journey! I wish you all the best for this adjustment period.

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SEEINGCLEARLY53 2/3/2013 5:43PM

    I can fully understand,,,,but in the short time I've known you I also know you will figure it out!.....Meanwhile, Congrats! emoticon

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KING_SLAYER 2/3/2013 3:46PM

    It sounds weird to be anxious about this but I completely understand. That comfortable feeling is so nice and cuddly, and getting out of that zone and doing something new is scary!

Look at it like an adventure, go to the mall (or wherever) and spend a day checking out the other stores, find a few that have clothes that you find to be cute and fit your style. Then on another day (or same day even) try on some of the clothes at the new stores you've found and see how they fit to find the manufacturers and styles that work for you. Also, take into consideration the employees attitudes. You may find just one store that meets your criteria, but that new store could just end up being your new comfort zone!

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CHERYL_ANNE 2/3/2013 12:15PM

    Not weird at all!

If I think about how very soon I will have to replace clothing whether buying it new or "recycled" I'm sure I will have an anxiety attack. :D

However I did have to buckle down and buy all new bras a while back so I will just have to get into the same mindset and make it happen.

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CAKEMAKERMOM 2/3/2013 12:13PM

    I had to break up with her recently. She kept sending me catalogs and emails. I hadn't been reading them for a while now, so I had to write to her telling her that's I'm sorry, but I can't see her anymore because I just don't fit right with her anymore and she may as well save her money because I just can't be there anymore.

Target is finally my friend again! Cheaper and more convenient.

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AY_BEAUTIFUL89 2/3/2013 9:04AM

    This blog made me giggle a little, mostly because you are right! It is weird (to me anyway) that you aren't the happiest clam in the bunch! However, I understand that, after being a certain way for so long, that change can be scary. You are the same YOU, but you can feel like you're becoming a new person. The good part about this is that you can find other stores that are just as great as Lane Bryant, with clothes that you will look AMAZING in! Remember, don't look back. Keep pushing forward!

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ADELE66 2/3/2013 5:54AM

    What a great blog! It just serves to remind us all that losing weight is not the answer to every issue - sometimes it actually generates one or two!

Perhaps you could go and visit a few stores and find one with the type of clothes that does both regular and some plus sizes that makes you feel comfortable. Once you find one "go-to" place, it might become a little less stressful.

I remember, many years ago, when I hit a mainstream size, my problem was that I just went nuts buying everything in sight (just because I could!). I ended up with a whole closet full of clothes I would never wear!

Take your time... ease into this adjustment... it will be fine!

:o)

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DANCELIFTRUN 2/3/2013 4:14AM

    Great post! One thing I'm looking forward to the most as I get rid of this weight, is never having to buy clothes from Lane Bryant again, but I've never really thought about what that will feel like when the time comes! Congratulations on preparing to start a new shopping adventure. :)

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DANCELIFTRUN 2/3/2013 4:12AM

    Great post! One thing I'm looking forward to the most as I get rid of this weight, is never having to buy clothes from Lane Bryant again, but I've never really thought about what that will feel like when the time comes! Congratulations on preparing to start a new shopping adventure. :)

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PURPLE180 2/3/2013 12:23AM

    I know the feeling...I still feel strange going into a "regular" department store and not searching for the plus size section. Best wishes on your journey. :-)

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RUNNING-TURTLE 2/2/2013 11:44PM

    Anxiety or not it is wonderful. So proud of you. I can almost fit into size 14's....big legs run in our family so working on that. Been doing a lot of extra leg exercises. Well guess you will have to find a whole brand new store to fall in love with and never leave.

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WACFIT 2/2/2013 11:02PM

    Now, you will find new favorite stores! And you WILL find them. Enjoy the shopping. Celebrate the new you!
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MSKIZ69 2/2/2013 9:50PM

    I loved this blog. I can relate so well-I was so used to Lane Bryant and only dreamed of going into 5-7-9 stores-but was scared to too! You have done wonderfully so embrace your smaller sizes and smile!

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LUVTOBOWL 2/2/2013 9:40PM

    I know you'll overcome this too, you are a strong woman and have God on your side.

I'm so excited for you about the new size girl. Some people shop at Goodwill while losing so they aren't spending to much money on a smaller size.

Keep up the good work!

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OBIESMOM2 2/2/2013 9:38PM

    emoticon you are doing so great, Lynn! What an inspiration you are to all of your Spark friends...and to your daughter.

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ELSCO55 2/2/2013 9:28PM

    You are doing great. I remember when plus size clothes were ugly, then when I lost weight the first time plus clothes got trendier. WHen I gained my weight back, I lost interest in shopping again. Congrats on your continued success.

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SLENDERELLA61 2/2/2013 9:21PM

    I found that the best thing for me was every week after my successful weigh in I went shopping. I tried several store until I found two I really liked. Most weeks I spent a long time trying on clothing and looking in the mirror. Usually I just bought one piece of clothing and then would get rid of one large piece. It took me more than a year to get my new wardrobe. By then I recognized myself in the mirror. After 5 decades of being overweight and obese, I was now a small petite. Amazing!

Best wishes on finding your new favorite store, getting to love your new body, and collecting a wardrobe that is flattering, fun, and comfortable. You can do it!!

Life is good. Spark On!!

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CTMOM2KIDS 2/2/2013 9:04PM

    This entire journey is 90% mental... I never have thought about it until I read your blog. This is how I also feel about Dress Barn Women and Lane Bryant. It is all I have known forever. I can't imagine shopping in a non-plus size store. I am not there yet either. I still have a few sizes before I get to that level of anxiety. Although I am still 10's of pounds away from thinking about maintenance I often wonder what it would be like... how does one maintain rather than lose or gain large amounts. It is also all I have known.

Keep praying for the wisdom. You are doing immensely well. You WILL transition your mindset and shop in "normal" stores. Great, great job! Keep up the great work.

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LALMEIDA 2/2/2013 9:03PM

  emoticon on all of the changes you have made

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Overwhelmed and Frustrated

Friday, February 01, 2013

I'm so annoyed and frustrated right now. I have been so focused on getting the pannectomy surgery that I WANT that I have been avoiding a very real fact. I have a hernia. Again. That probably needs surgical repair. Again. SERIOUSLY!?!?!?! I have had this stupid ventral hernia repaired 4 times already, and have 3 meshes holding me together. It's been bulging more during exercise the past few weeks, and yesterday became very painful while doing crunches on the bosu ball.

If you don't know.... having an abdominal hernia repaired is not an easy surgery. I have a 14" scar down my tummy to prove it. It's painful with a several week recovery period. I've had infections and other complications in the past from them. This is a road I desperately hoped was in the past.

The other complication in this is that I have a surgeon I trust. Implicitly. He has done the past 3 repairs after the first failed and did quite a bit of damage in the process. And when my Cesarean got infected, he is the surgeon that my OB called in. But he has recently switched hospital providers... and I work for (and am insured through) a competing hospital. That means I will likely be referred to a different surgeon for repair. This thought is terrifying.

The only UP side is that I am in the best physical shape that I've been in since High School. Perhaps that would improve the recovery. I also want to investigate getting the pannectomy done simultaneously (I believe 100% that 17# of skin hanging is hindering the hernia repairs).

I've set up an appointment with my primary doc, and in the meantime will work to continue to lose weight and stay fit & health. THAT, at least, is in my control.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTMOM2KIDS 2/2/2013 2:42PM

    Wishing you the best of luck and will pray for a speedy recovery!

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SUGAR0814 2/2/2013 1:45PM

    emoticon Keeping you in my prayers! Everything will work out!!

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KALEWINE 2/1/2013 10:47PM

    emoticon

I'll be praying for a speedy recovery! Hang in there!

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CARRAND 2/1/2013 9:56PM

    Good luck! I hope and pray all goes well for you.

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SPARKLISE 2/1/2013 9:53PM

    Hope it all works out for the best for you!
Having physical challenges while trying to get healthy can be very frustrating! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROSIEPD 2/1/2013 9:43PM

    Wishing you the best in taking care of this! What a nightmare - 4 times! The bright side is that it seems logical that the pannectomy would be done at the same time...maybe it wii all work out and everything will finally be corrected.

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WACFIT 2/1/2013 6:29PM

    emoticon Hoping for the best for you.

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VICKI-BISHOP56 2/1/2013 6:02PM

  Hope it all works out the way you want it to. emoticon

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MARIANNE9855 2/1/2013 5:26PM

    I agree with everyone else- the hernia problem may move the needed skin problems up and you will get both done quicker- Hoping for a good outcome for you.

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RUNNING-TURTLE 2/1/2013 5:11PM

    Sorry to hear all that. Maybe than can do them at the same time. Hoping you can, and won't be too terrified of the new surgeon. Wishing you the best of luck, lots of hugs. And as always praying for you. I know it's got to be tough, but hang in there, you are worth every bit of it.

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OBIESMOM2 2/1/2013 4:50PM

    emoticon
I'm so sorry!

Another thing most people do not realize is how little you are allowed to do with stitches in your abs. Unless you've been through it, you just don't realize how often those core muscles are used.

could you ask the surgeon you DO trust for a recommendation at the other hospital? Maybe he has a colleague that he knows well.

don't give up! You've made so much progress...don't let ANYTHING keep you from moving forward.

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KING_SLAYER 2/1/2013 4:29PM

    Needing the hernia repair may just be something that spurs the insurance company to waive the 6 months of documentation they ordered. Hopefully they will grant the pannectomy because of the hernia. Best of luck to you!

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BRIDGIEEE 2/1/2013 4:17PM

    I can't only imagine how frustrating and painful that must be. Try not to over do it though while you are in the process of seeing a new surgeon and whatnot, you def don't want to make it worse! Good luck!

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LAKEGIRL76 2/1/2013 4:06PM

    I am sorry to hear that your hernia has returned. I had the same thought to see if you could do both surgeries at the same to save you recovery time. You will be in my thoughts as you have to make those tough decisions!

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I don't wanna!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

That has been running through my mind all day when I thought of the gym. "I don't wanna!"... like my 4 year old tells me about eating her vegetables.

Have you had those days? When you just don't WANT to eat well or go to the gym? Yeah... me to.

Yesterday and today have been very stressful work days for me. Yesterday my calories were about 250 higher than I like, and I think I probably was eating a bit more for energy (they were very healthy calories). Today I did the opposite... DIDN'T eat (due to time) until my pounding headache forced me to go to McDonalds and get a grilled chicken sandwich (no mayo, no cheese, add bbq sauce). And all I could think today was about the need to go to the gym... and the fact that I just didn't want to.

What I DID want to do was end my day early, go home, ignore my responsibilities and curl up with a good book. Haha... like that would happen! No worries... I worked in a full 30 minutes of cardio at the gym, and a good strength training session. Then I went home, did some more work, and just ate dinner.

And you know what? I feel so much better AFTER the gym than I did before! My headache is reduced (may be due to food and water as well). My stress was relieved a tiny bit in a healthy way. The back pain from sitting so much is gone. And I'm proud of myself for meeting my goal.

I know I've had countless "I don't wanna!" days. But you know what? I've never had a single time that I've said, "Boy, I sure regret that workout!" Nope. Never. I always feel better, if only emotionally. I have, however, had many days when I laid in bed at night regretting NOT getting in a work out, or regretting the foods I'd eaten that day.

Just my thoughts for the day.

Oh... and I got a call from the surgeon's office. Insurance wants 4-6 months of documented treatment before they will approve surgery. So I'm gathering old records to see if it's been mentioned. Otherwise.... guess I'll be losing some more weight before the pannectomy! Either way, it's in God's hands.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIM22211 7/23/2013 6:15AM

    really have enjoyed finding you on here and I would love to hear some updates if and when you have them!

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KLMEIRING 2/3/2013 6:37PM

    Doing what's right even while it still feels wrong.... That's where the growth comes from. That's inspirational! Thanks! emoticon

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AURORAMILLET 2/1/2013 1:25PM

    I wish I could just snuggle up with a good book too somedays...

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ROSIEPD 2/1/2013 10:27AM

    Catching up on your blogs now that I have time. Totally can relate to the don't wanna days. I also think there are some days that you absolutely do need to curl up with a good book - it's the wisdom to know the difference that eludes me. Anyway, great thoughts, and something I will recall when I don't wanna.

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RUNNING-TURTLE 1/30/2013 9:18PM

    emoticon for making it a productive day despite not wanting too. I had the same feeling today. Got up at 7am, driving in the car for most of the day and helping my dad move his belongings from his apartment to our house. So I got about an hours worth of strength training in, lots of sitting on my butt and still fit in 15 minutes of cardio off my dvd. Not as productive as your wonderful self. But did it. Proud of you. Keep up the good work.

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CARRAND 1/30/2013 7:51PM

    I felt that way this morning, but I went to the gym for my Wednesday morning yoga class and then felt so good I lifted weights afterwards.

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WACFIT 1/30/2013 12:56PM

    So it sounds like they WILL pay for it once it is documented. That's great! Your doctor may have some records you can use?...Good for you on working out. It's a choice that always g=feels better. When I get the "I don' wannas", I try to stop thinking that way and tell myself to 'just get it over with' or' just do 10 minutes'. It always works and I always do more than 10 minutes! ANother trick is to get into your workout clothes. Once yo are inthem, you will be more motivated to work out.

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RUNNER4LIFE08 1/30/2013 8:47AM

    I agree.... I always feel much better after a workout and never sorry that I did one. Those endorphins are AWESOME!

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CAMAEL100 1/30/2013 5:09AM

    Yes, funny how we always feel better after! We need to keep that in our heads when we have the 'don't wanna' days!

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KING_SLAYER 1/30/2013 3:08AM

    There are so many times that I just don't want to go to the gym, but much more often than not I force myself to go. Once I'm there I will bust my butt because I don't want it to be a waste of time. And like you said, I've never regretted having gone, but I have regretted it on the days that I just didn't go.

As far as you surgery goes, I'm sure it's disappointing that they didn't just outright authorize it, but on the bright side, it sounds like it is a sure thing down the road. Perhaps God has a reason to have you wait? I think that's how I'd look at it. A little extra time to shed a few more lbs even.

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 1/29/2013 11:13PM

    I'm really encouraged that the insurance will (eventually) cover your surgery. Phew!

Yes, we all have I don't wanna days. You are so right. I have never regretted doing a workout. Good for you for doing it "anyway." That is so hard sometimes, particularly when our schedules get out of whack.

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2BFREE2LIVE 1/29/2013 10:28PM

    Good for you pushing through the I don't wanna mood and getting in that workout.

I am thinking that you could get a second opinion and maybe the insurance company would realize it is for your health and not cosmetic surgery.
Maybe you could talk to your Doctor about that and have him or her give you a recommendation on a Doctor you can visit that would back up what your Doctor says. Just a thought.
So think about that option, I think it is worth a try.

Take care and give the little one a hug. Sandy

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FAT2GAINHEALTH 1/29/2013 9:51PM

    Great that you went ahead and did exercise not you get a treat... Good feelings!!!! Yeah!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
luv,
Marcia

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CTMOM2KIDS 1/29/2013 9:38PM

    Great job for sucking it up and going to the gym!! No one ever said I wish I didn't exercise!

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NANCYPAT1 1/29/2013 9:28PM

    Ex ercise is often a really good stress reliever. You do know that when the 4 year old says, "I don't wanna eat her veggies" that you reply, "you have to eat them, they are GOOD for you." The same is true about eating and ex ercise.

Have a great evening and a better day tomorrow.

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ELP1210 1/29/2013 9:25PM

  Great job resisting the temptation to skip the gym! Yea!

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