Sunday, September 30, 2012
Today we took our daughter to the Central WA fair. In spite of a couple rough moments, we had a blast. I am continually amazed at my increased participation in life with my more mobile body.
This is what some people in my life don't understand... I am not losing weight to be a super model. I have abused my body my entire life. You don't lose 170# and expect your skin to bounce back, or not have sag and wag. I am losing weight to be active, have choices, and live the life I WANT rather than settling for watching it from the side lines. When I was 420#, there is no way that I would have been able to walk the fairgrounds for 6 hours, let alone go on a kiddie-rollercoaster! But today I did. My 4 yr old desperately wanted to ride the rollercoaster but was afraid to go alone. I worried I wouldn't fit, but I did. And the lap bar lowered and locked with no problem. The train stayed on the track, and I was able to provide my daughter with a wonderful time.
All day, she talked about the Ferris Wheel. Now... I'm really uncomfortable with heights. Like REALLY don't enjoy them. At all. But I love my baby girl (yes, I know she's spoiled, but she's a great kid in spite of it). I read the height restrictions signs, and looked for a weight limit, and didn't find one. So, I stood in line with her, handed the man our tickets, and waited for a dirty look or for him to tell me that I was too large for the ride. I held my breath.
"Please don't embarrass me in front of my daughter and all these people", I thought.
The man simply smiled and handed me the seat belt to latch. It was loose. He helped me tighten it, and locked in the safety rail. Up we went. I felt "normal". My daughter was on cloud nine.
My cup overflows tonight... my heart is bursting with happiness after a full, exhausting, fun day with my family. We are so blessed to have this miracle child. And I am so thankful that I committed to this journey 9 months ago, and recommit daily, to live a happier, healthier life. I hope she looks back on her childhood with love and laughter, rather than with thoughts of "I wish my mom had been able to do that with me".
And just because I adore her.......
Thursday, September 27, 2012
So today, I ran across this picture of my daughter and I last Halloween. It made me cry:
What makes this so sad to me, is I remember my husband posting that pic on FB and thinking "At least I don't look too fat!" Talk about denial!
Here's a shot from a few weeks ago in Seattle:
I know I still have a long way to go. But the 62# that are gone have already made a huge difference in how I feel about myself, my energy level, and what activities I'm able to do!
I hope I can look back in another year and look at the Seattle Picture and think "Wow... I've come a long way since last year".
But today I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for those 62#, and stop attacking myself for the 60+ lbs I have left to lose.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
For the past month or two (since my miscarriage) I have been eating the same foods as always, but I have not been tracking. I have been exercising, but not as frequently. I have been losing weight, but not much. Yes, I see a correlation.
So, today I will make an effort to track what I'm eating. I met with my trainer yesterday, and am heading back to the gym today. I feel like the past several months have been an avalanche of physical challenges (dental issues, miscarriage, and now a torn muscle in my arm), am honestly I want to give up and pig out on the Halloween candy that is in the stores. But I know that will NOT help me feel better. What WILL help me feel better is to lose the next 11# and hit the goal I set for myself for 2012. What WILL help me feel better is to fit in those size 18 pants that are just a tad tight, but would be adorable for Fall.
So.... today I will make good choices and record them. Hopefully tomorrow I will build on those choices. I want to be back where I was mentally.
Friday, September 14, 2012
I am now closer to 200# than to 300#. I don't know why beating the 250# means something to me, but it does. It's been several years since I've actually been UNDER the weigh limit on many household items I use (chairs, step stools, etc). but now I am.
59# gone. 11# to go to hit my goal for this year!
Monday, September 10, 2012
This weekend, my hubby and I drove to Seattle for a romantic weekend getaway. We parked the van at the hotel, and walked, walked, walked! Everywhere we wanted to go, we walked. And I managed just fine!
A couple things I noticed:
1) walking a couple miles in one day, and standing for a few hours looking at museum exhibits is MUCH easier nearly 60# lighter.
2) Usually in situations like this, I feel like people are staring at me because of my size. I didn't feel like that!
3) I didn't follow my "diet" while away, but I still ate MUCH better than my old self. Even with 'permission' to splurge, my portions were small, I drank plenty of water, and sweets were in moderation.
4) I enjoy the pictures we took SO MUCH MORE!!! Seriously... usually we would get back and I would immediately delete any picture that made me look too fat. This time I simply enjoyed the shots!
And PS... the King Tut exhibit was PHENOMENAL!!!! Loved it!
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