First exercise in a week!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

My dental abscess seems to be improving a bit with the antibiotics, and the horrid sinus headache it has been causing is quite a bit better today. So after a busy morning at work, I came home and asked my daughter if she wanted to go to the park. She's 3, so of course she quickly agreed.

We put on our bike helmets, and rode to the park about 2 blocks away (I rode, she hung out comfortably in the bike trailer). I played with her for a bit, and realized that my pain wasn't worse with the ride. The playground equipment is surrounded by a circular concrete path. I started walking it.... and walking it.... and walking it. I was never more than about 30 feet from my daughter, able to talk to her and watch her the whole time. As she played, I walked. For 25 minutes! It felt wonderful!

As my pain did start to increase a bit, I stopped, asked my daughter to go down the slide once more, and took us home. It wasn't the calorie burn I get on the elliptical. And I didn't ST.... but being active again felt wonderful and lifted my mood.

Tomorrow I'm taking little one to the farmer's market. Looking forward to that!

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In a funk....

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I have been dealing with some major dental issues this past week. When pain increased last week, I saw my dentist. It wasn't good news. One tooth needed a root canal, which was done the next day. Another tooth was/is badly abscessed. Problem is that it's already been root canaled, and he couldn't access it. He sent me to a specialist who I saw yesterday. Basically, there was a "hidden canal" in the tooth that got missed. They now have to re-do the root canal. However, it's so badly infected that he won't do the procedure until I've been an antibiotics for a week. *sigh*

I don't know if you've had a dental abscess before, but my entire face hurts. And since it's in the upper jaw, it's laying right under my sinus, putting pressure on it. I have had the worst sinus headache possible for about 4 days now. I'm miserable.

Now, my eating has been good. About 1400 cals a day of soft foods (oatmeal, cottage cheese, yogurt, bananas, etc). But I have been pretty sedentary. I hurt even just sitting here. My face throbs with each heartbeat. When my heart rate goes up, the pain increases. So, I have tried to stay quiet and take my pain meds.

And I've gained 2 pounds. I am not a happy girl. I'm hurting and frustrated. But I feel guilty and overwhelmed for not being at the gym.

Abscessed tooth gets root canaled next Tuesday. Praying for some improvement.

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Finding a healthy medium at parties... feels good!

Friday, June 08, 2012

Today was my daughter's preschool bbq... basically the last gathering of the year. Livy was thrilled to give her presents to her teachers, play with her friends, and especially to eat lunch with them.

I had a root canal yesterday, so I am a little sore today. It makes eating a little more difficult since the veggie tray wasn't quite gonna work for me today (too hard and crunch = painful today). I decided moderation was the way to go today. I knew I couldn't get my jaw open enough for a hot dog and bun, so I chose just the hot dog. Lots of fresh melon found its way onto my plate, and a small handful of cherry tomatoes. I estimated about 275 calories for my plate, and happily sat with my family and friends, eating the small bites.

Then there was the dessert table. Yep... and ENTIRE TABLE of sweet delights. Brownies, sugar cookies with icing, cupcakes of every color, cake, etc. Seriously a dieters nightmare. Especially if you have a sweet tooth like I do.

I let my 3 yr old pick one sweet for her plate, then went to sit down. And I REALLY wanted a sweet. REALLY wanted one. I ate my food. I drank more water. I talked with friends. And I still REALLY wanted one. I was starting to feel really deprived. My friends were eating their cookies, brownies, and cupcakes, and I was drinking more water. And feeling sad and disappointed about it. And that's just silly! I didn't get to my highest weight by eating 1 sweet. I got there by having zero self control and eating ridiculous amounts of sweets and other high calorie foods. And if I'm going to maintain this lifestyle, I better figure out a way to deal with these situations without feeling an emotional let down and feeling punished all the time.

So I cut my daughter's cupcake in half. I allowed myself that half. And guess what? Once I took a few bites, I didn't need the rest of it. I ate about 1/4 of the cupcake, threw the rest away, and felt completely satisfied with it. I felt like it was some sort of victory! I managed to walk away WITHOUT feeling deprived. I met my craving, but also kept my calorie count reasonable. I can live with that.

After my 75 calories or so of cupcake, I took off after my daughter and her buddies to chase them in the playground. I love that I'm finding a way to live with these life choices. I can NOT think of this as a diet. This HAS to be simply the way that I eat now. These have to be choices that I can make consistently and live with long term. And today I felt like I was able to do that.




Olivia and I today at the BBQ

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Mind over matter kind of day

Monday, June 04, 2012

I did NOT want to work out today. I've been sore, with a 3-day long headache and achy hip. It was raining and cold all day. And I just had a good case of the "don't wannas".

But I went. Set the elliptical to a harder mode, and went to it. My trainer spotted me and come in to ask me to meet with another of her clients and see about "lighting a fire" with her. That made me feel AWESOME! I love that she looks past the extra pounds on my body to see the journey I'm on, and what I can offer to fellow travelers. We chatted a bit, and after she left I kept workin' it.

I completed 30 HARD minutes, then hit the weights. So a day that started with DREADING the gym ended up being a day with a great workout!

And while watching my form during ST, I noticed that one side of my neck/shoulder was higher than the other. Got into the chiropractor today, and my headache is receding. We'll see if my adjustment holds thru tomorrow's workout with my trainer. She tends to Kick. My. Butt. We shall see!

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First race.... finished strong (with pics!)

Saturday, June 02, 2012

I ran my first race this morning. A 1 mile fun run. My trainer ran with me (does it GET any more supportive than that???). My husband and daughter were at the finish line to cheer me on.

Less than a month ago, I started Couch 2 5k. I could only jog 30 seconds at a time... and that was a stretch! Today I was doing up to 2:10 intervals!

I did my 1 mile in 18.36. Slow, but strong for me. In fact, that's 3 minutes off my normal time. My heart rate was up, but I felt like I got a work out. But this was HUGE for me mentally. I felt like a fraud waiting for the race. Those people were going to see me and realize I'm just a fat girl with no business being there! What a poser!

But no one was awful. No one was rude. And I had the support of 3 awesome people there for me. There were only medals for the first 3 finishers on the 1 mile, but my sweet husband and daughter made me one and presented to me! My husband helped her tie the knot, and buy a charm with feet on it. The fact that he supports me means the world!

Today's race wasn't far. It wasn't fast. It wasn't pretty. But it WAS completed, and completed strong. And it was the first of many.


Way there in the back.... that's us approaching the finish


Finishing strong while my 3 yr old screamed encouragement


Post race love


So sweet.

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