Friday, June 08, 2012
Today was my daughter's preschool bbq... basically the last gathering of the year. Livy was thrilled to give her presents to her teachers, play with her friends, and especially to eat lunch with them.
I had a root canal yesterday, so I am a little sore today. It makes eating a little more difficult since the veggie tray wasn't quite gonna work for me today (too hard and crunch = painful today). I decided moderation was the way to go today. I knew I couldn't get my jaw open enough for a hot dog and bun, so I chose just the hot dog. Lots of fresh melon found its way onto my plate, and a small handful of cherry tomatoes. I estimated about 275 calories for my plate, and happily sat with my family and friends, eating the small bites.
Then there was the dessert table. Yep... and ENTIRE TABLE of sweet delights. Brownies, sugar cookies with icing, cupcakes of every color, cake, etc. Seriously a dieters nightmare. Especially if you have a sweet tooth like I do.
I let my 3 yr old pick one sweet for her plate, then went to sit down. And I REALLY wanted a sweet. REALLY wanted one. I ate my food. I drank more water. I talked with friends. And I still REALLY wanted one. I was starting to feel really deprived. My friends were eating their cookies, brownies, and cupcakes, and I was drinking more water. And feeling sad and disappointed about it. And that's just silly! I didn't get to my highest weight by eating 1 sweet. I got there by having zero self control and eating ridiculous amounts of sweets and other high calorie foods. And if I'm going to maintain this lifestyle, I better figure out a way to deal with these situations without feeling an emotional let down and feeling punished all the time.
So I cut my daughter's cupcake in half. I allowed myself that half. And guess what? Once I took a few bites, I didn't need the rest of it. I ate about 1/4 of the cupcake, threw the rest away, and felt completely satisfied with it. I felt like it was some sort of victory! I managed to walk away WITHOUT feeling deprived. I met my craving, but also kept my calorie count reasonable. I can live with that.
After my 75 calories or so of cupcake, I took off after my daughter and her buddies to chase them in the playground. I love that I'm finding a way to live with these life choices. I can NOT think of this as a diet. This HAS to be simply the way that I eat now. These have to be choices that I can make consistently and live with long term. And today I felt like I was able to do that.
Olivia and I today at the BBQ
Monday, June 04, 2012
I did NOT want to work out today. I've been sore, with a 3-day long headache and achy hip. It was raining and cold all day. And I just had a good case of the "don't wannas".
But I went. Set the elliptical to a harder mode, and went to it. My trainer spotted me and come in to ask me to meet with another of her clients and see about "lighting a fire" with her. That made me feel AWESOME! I love that she looks past the extra pounds on my body to see the journey I'm on, and what I can offer to fellow travelers. We chatted a bit, and after she left I kept workin' it.
I completed 30 HARD minutes, then hit the weights. So a day that started with DREADING the gym ended up being a day with a great workout!
And while watching my form during ST, I noticed that one side of my neck/shoulder was higher than the other. Got into the chiropractor today, and my headache is receding. We'll see if my adjustment holds thru tomorrow's workout with my trainer. She tends to Kick. My. Butt. We shall see!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Today I was driving to work, and noticed a house that was looking pretty sad. You know the type... the one house on the block with overgrown grass, weeds, peeling paint, and clutter around the house. Just looking neglected.
Now, let me preface this by saying... I have OCD and am a bit of a perfectionist. Even my 3 year old knows that if you see a weed outside, you pull it. That you pick up your toys before you go to bed. That dishes have to be done after the meal. I like a clean house. I want my home to be aesthetically pleasing.
And here's a little secret.... I tend to be judgmental about people living in those sad, neglected little houses. Are they lazy? Do they simply not care?
Today, as the thoughts ran rampant in my mind, I realized something. "My body is a house, and I have neglected it for years. My body has been that sad, neglected house and I sat back and did nothing to change it".
HOLY COW! Epiphany! Just as my OCD self can make a task list for anyone to clean up their home, I am working on a task list for my body! And it's JUST AS DOABLE!!!!! It's work to mow a lawn. But doable. It's work to paint a house. But it's doable.
Nearly 5 months ago, I put my health and body on "project status". I've been working hard, and seeing the results. I am no longer happy to sit back and neglect my body, as some sit back and neglect a house.
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