Saturday, August 28, 2010
We're heading to the county fair in a bit, and I slipped on my favorite (size 28) capri jeans and they are TOO BIG! I wore then a week ago and they were fine (loose, but not big). I've only lost a pound since then, but I think my body caught up!
Such a big non scale victory for me!!!! I'm so excited! I changed into a pair of my 26's that have been cutting me in half and they fit! A tad tight, but they FIT! Nothing hurts when I wear them!!!
So ridiculously happy about this. My husband just gave me a blank look.... he doesn't get it!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
So, after a 4 day vacation, the scale said I'd gained 4 pounds. Must have been water because I ate pretty darn good! The 4 pounds also slid off in 3 days back home. :)
So, back in my routine I'm looking for yummy, calorie-wise snacks and desserts. And I found a winner tonight! I LOVE chocolate covered strawberries but the chocolate isn't worth the calories. So, I improvised. Isn't that where the best treats of dieting come from?
1 cup cozy shack no-sugar added chocolate pudding (120 calories)
5 strawberries diced up (they were pretty small)
Mix the strawberries into the pudding. Top with a bit of fat-free Rediwhip. YUM!!!
Decadence for about 150 calories!!!
Monday, August 16, 2010
No, I'm not schizophrenic. But I do make a habit of talking to myself.... more acurately composing emails to people in my head. Tonight my husband and I worked up a sweat playing Wii (he kicked my butt), and while in the shower, I found myself "talking" to my brother.
My brother is a very new figure in my life. I'm adopted, and so is he. I found him about 2 months ago. We have yet to meet in person, but are getting quite close thru emails. And I enjoy his perspective, his humor... and the acceptance and belonging I find with him that I've never experienced before. I tend to open up to him. And in doing so, find a nugget of truth I've yet to discover myself.
And so while talking to him in my mind, I hear ".... and I've lost 10 pounds. Course, what's 10 pounds when you have over 100 to lose, right?" and usually that's where my thoughts would stop. But tonight, a new voice, or thought, occured. Soft, but firm. "What's 10 pounds? It's a start. That's what it is. A start."
Is this hope? Is this the "lightbulb" going on?
Whatever it is, I'll take it. It's a start.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
We're going to visit my in-laws this coming week. I'm excited to see them and watch them spend time with our 2 year old daughter. But I'm also nervous. I will not have complete control of my food.
One thing people don't always understand about me is how seriously OCD/anxious I am. I am a type-A, right brained, control freak with an anxiety disorder. Lovely, huh?
I love my inlaws. Love spending time with them. Love hanging at there house. And usually love the big ol' family meals around the table. But it's down home type food. Steaks, biscuits and gravy, eggs and bacon, pizza, etc are typical offerings. That's not gonna cut it for me this time.
I'm trying to make my "game plan". We will be with them Thursday evening, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning. I can bring my crystal light packets and drink that and water. I can bring my healthy snacks.
And I "know" that ultimately it's up to me what I put into my mouth. But that's difficult when I don't feel complete control or freedom over the cooking, kitchen, or even the fridge. With a picky toddler to feed, I'm thinking I can get away with bringing more food "For Livy". No?
I keep reminding myself that this isn't a "diet" with a begin and end. This is a healthy lifestyle. And that means that I go, enjoy my family, eat as healthy as I can WITHOUT sacrificing the fellowship of visiting. And that when I return home, I get back onto my scheduled routine. I love routine. It makes me feels safe and secure. But I can do this. I know I can do this. I can go, make good choices about my food, and resume my routine when I return home.
*sigh* Dieting doesn't mean giving up my life. I KNOW this. Why is it so hard to accept?
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