Shocked and happy!

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Two quick things...

First, I hit a yard sale this morning, and picked up a few clothes in smaller sizes. I was happy because the clothes were in excellent condition (most with tags still on) and great bands. I bought a pair of cute capris in a size 20 and told my husband "I will probably get into these at the end of summer". Got them home and tried them on.... I can get them buttoned and zipped NOW! They are too tight to be attractive, but it won't be long! For reference..... I wore a 22/24 outfit the night I graduated from High school!

Second, we stopped at the mall today to have my wedding set sized. It slides off too easily and I've been afraid I'll lose it. It's a size 7 1/2, and I expected to size it to a 7. Nope! A 6 1/2 fit great! A whole size on my ring finger in 4 months! (Actually a little more, because I didn't wear it a good chunk of last year because it was too tight.)

I am reveling in these non scale victories. Woohoo!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDOK1260 5/5/2012 10:14PM

great on your non scale victories. Report Inappropriate Comment

How I measure my success

Friday, May 04, 2012

I re-started this journey 4 months ago. Weighing 308#, I was tired of it, and set about formulating a plan for change. I've spent the last 4 months educating myself and putting my plan into action. And I've learned a lot. But one thing I've learned has surprised me. You see... every goal I set for myself reflected a number on the scale. Every. Single. One.
Goal #1 - get under 300#
Goal #2 - lose 70# in 2012
Goal #3 - Reach ONEderland
Goal #4 - Reach goal weight
See what I mean? All about the scale.

3 months ago, a friend emailed and told me that my journey had inspired her to join a gym and get into shape. She was SLIGHTLY overweight to begin with. Today I met her for lunch, and she looks FANTASTIC! Seriously... tiny, fit, beautiful. Wearing a size that I can only dream of. And you know what? SHE was inspired by ME. SHE said she admired ME. SHE complimented MY success. How is that possible? Yes, I've lost 39# since January 3rd. But I'm still 269#. Not exactly the model of health and fitness.

I thought about this all day. I realized that I was measuring success simply by the scale. My friend reached her goal weight in the last 3 months, and in my mind that somehow made her more successful than me.

But is she? Really? She overcame her challenges and worked hard. So have I. She makes choices every day about how much to move, and what to eat. So do I. She's lost 21#. I've lost 39#. We've both gained muscle, lost fat, increased our self confidence, and worked to make long-term changes in our lives. How am I less successful than her? Because of a number on the scale? That's just stupid.

Tonight I bought a pair of size 22/24 pants that fit perfectly. 4 months ago, I was wearing a 30/32. That means that I have been successful in making progress! I AM SUCCESSFUL. Here's the truth people: this journey continues as long as you're breathing. Whether you're at goal weight, your highest weight, or somewhere in between. It's not over until it's over. It's about the choices you're making TODAY that deem you successful or not. Not about the choices you made yesterday.

I am just as successful as my beautiful, sweet, size 0 friend. And I'm going to be this successful tomorrow, too. And the day after. And the day after that one. I know I'll have days that feel like failure. But I'll pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on much track. And to me, THAT is success.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MENNOLY 5/5/2012 10:07AM

for you! You are doing great and you are successful! 39 pounds in 4 months is outstanding. I bet you feel better too. I'll bet you have more energy and fewer twinges in the joints. Report Inappropriate Comment

CCASKEY37 5/5/2012 7:33AM

You have the right attitude. Sometimes we get a little hung up on the number on the scale even when ALL the other evidence tells us we are successful. KEEP IT UP and you will be happy with yourself no matter what the scale says. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOMMA-MOOSE 5/5/2012 6:48AM

I love your blog, and your attitude. You are so right. Report Inappropriate Comment

OBIESMOM2 5/5/2012 2:35AM

not only are you just as successful, YOU ARE JUST AS BEAUTIFUL! I'm going to keep telling you that, because it's TRUE and it's very important for you to believe it; see the beauty in you...the rest of the world does. Report Inappropriate Comment

2BFREE2LIVE 5/5/2012 12:46AM

You my friend are 100% correct. It is a journey that lasts a lifetime and a lifetime of making the right choices. You are a success today and will be tomorrow and a success story yet to be told when you reach your final goal, keep up the good job of being motivated not only by others but what your doing everyday that is what makes the difference. Your on the right track so keep this great positive attitude each and every day. You will reach many mini goals along your journey and I will be cheering you on all the way to the finish line. Report Inappropriate Comment

HOTPINKCAMARO49 5/4/2012 11:10PM

You go, girl! Today is the 1st day of the rest of YOUR LIFE! Report Inappropriate Comment

Milestone: Today, I Jogged!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I decided to change up my routine at the gym this morning. I usually hit the elliptical for 30 minutes and do my thing. But since Saturdays I go with my hubby, I wanted to do something different and work out next to him. So, I jumped on the treadmill. I set my incline, and started walking.

About 10 minutes in, I wanted to see if I COULD jog. I increased my speed and went with it. I got to a jog! I only maintained for 15-20 seconds, but I JOGGED! For the first time in over 20 years, this body jogged. I slowed back down and kept a brisk walk pace. I worked in 2 more jogging bursts before I was done.

To me, the length of time and speed of my jogging are irrelevant. I DID IT! Less than 4 months ago, I LITERALLY fell off the elliptical my first day at the gym. Today I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to and word towards.

Today, I jogged. It wasn't long. It wasn't fast. It sure as HECK wasn't pretty. But I did it. That is a victory.

I'd like to say I looked like an athlete, but......



Pride. That is name of this feeling. It feels wonderful.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BFREE2LIVE 4/30/2012 12:41AM

So proud of you. Your right it is not for how long or how fast the fact of the matter is you did it, you did jog!!! I remember my first time of a little run with my dog that felt like I could do anything a wonderful big smile on the inside wanting to come to your face each time you think of the experience. Great job. Sandy Report Inappropriate Comment

WILDRICE99 4/29/2012 6:50AM

That's wonderful! I love the humorous as well...made me chuckle a bit before my morning workout! keep up the good work! Report Inappropriate Comment

MENNOLY 4/28/2012 5:39PM

I know you feel exhilarated! Fantastic! Report Inappropriate Comment

"God doesn't make mistakes"

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I can't tell you how many times I heard that as a child. I heard it from my parents, sunday school teachers, school teachers in my Christian school, friends, etc. "God doesn't make mistakes". So easy to say. For me, impossible to believe.

I knew as a very small child that God, indeed, did make mistakes. And I was the proof of that. You see, when I was born, my birth mother left the hospital without me. She had made no arrangements for my care, and simply abandoned me in the hospital. The nurses cared for me for a week until a court order put me into foster care. I was adopted by my family as a baby. And while my parents love me dearly, there were a lot of things in my family and upbringing that were tragic, traumatic, and painful. Add to that the fact that I fit into my community about as well as a round peg in a square hole. I grew up in a very small, close knit Dutch community, mostly governed by the church. Nearly all my friends were fair haired and blue eyed. My red hair and brown eyes stood out. The fact that I was overweight? Yeah..... I was an easy target for school bullies.

God DID make mistakes, my young mind always insisted. Because God had made me. "God should have given me to a mom who wanted me", "God could have made me thin", "God could have kept this situation from happening", etc., etc., etc. Such was the inner dialogue in my mind.

In the last 15 years, I've done a lot of emotional work to deal with my adoption and some other issues. I've come to accept that it was HUMANS who had made the mistakes... not God. I have come to see the beauty that he brought from the ashes of their misguided, selfish decisions.

Except when it comes to my weight. A little part of me has held out on my grudge against God. For some reason, something in my mind broke thru today while on the elliptical.

"God didn't make me look like this! I made me look like this! God gave me two working legs. He created me with a healthy body that can move and exercise. I CHOSE not to. He created me with an intelligent mind, yet I never educated myself about nutrition. I DID THIS! ME! "

And with that gut-wrenching realization, the next thought brought hope:

"These were my mistakes. But my God can bring beauty from the ashes."

Today I made good choices. Today I found a little bit of healing. It was a good day.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAYING4THIN 4/27/2012 8:47AM

Most of us are ready to blame someone and God becomes a easy target for alot of us and yet he is never the blame for anything that is bad or imperfect. Glad you are doing well and working through your "emotions" Report Inappropriate Comment

CRINKLYMONKEY 4/26/2012 8:12AM

I am so glad that you had this breakthrough. With the strength of God you can do anything. Report Inappropriate Comment

CCASKEY37 4/26/2012 6:52AM

Well said. The important thing is to keep educating yourself and those around you. I'm glad that you know you can do this. Report Inappropriate Comment

2BFREE2LIVE 4/26/2012 1:58AM

Looks like your dealing with the past very well. We all have different things that we had to deal with as we grew up and your family raised a very smart young lady. Soul searching is one step you need to do to clean your system so our can release the weight and the burdens that hold you from being the person you want to become. Best wishes. Sandy Report Inappropriate Comment

TARAFROMTX1 4/25/2012 9:35PM

Amen! Thank you for sharing! Report Inappropriate Comment

DELYCO 4/25/2012 9:17PM

Wow. Thanks for sharing your epiphany; it takes a lot of courage both to come to that conclusion and then to share it with others. It must have been both a painful and freeing experience. I think things will get easier from this point; you know who you are and you can choose who you want to be instead of limiting yourself. You're a lot stronger than you probably thought. Report Inappropriate Comment

CRYDEN321 4/25/2012 9:14PM

AMEN!!!!! You are fearfully and wonderfully made! Thank you for sharing. I came to grips with the fact that I did this to my body and not God, but I am still struggling to accept that I am worth loving... You are an inspiration, Thanks! Report Inappropriate Comment

BUSY weekend.... out of town, gambling, and a circus!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Well, first.... GOOD NEWS! Hubby and I finished up with the bank Thursday evening. We got the loan, and are starting the new business! This is very exciting for us as hubby already has work lined up with several clients, but we couldn't do anything about it without the loan to purchase the equipment he needs. Now it's a go! Super exciting.

Friday morning we left early and drove the 2 hours to Spokane to spend some time at Northern Quest casino. FUN! Leading up to this, I was super worried about food. But I'm proud of the choices I made! The buffet was actually much easier for me to do than the one sit-down place we went. Lots of steamed veggies, lean meats, and fresh fruits. I did have a hamburger with a side of fresh fruit for one meal. I had a TOTAL splurge Friday night and bought a lemon bar. It was delicious...... but the richness gave me horrible heartburn. I guess I can't eat those kinds of foods anymore.

One difference between last year and this year at the casino: This time we purposefully took the stairs more often! I also drank more water on the casino floor rather than all diet pepsi. :)

We spent the night at the casino (broke even on the slots but had fun) and headed back yesterday around noon. Last night we took our 3 yr old to the circus. She had a great time!




Hubby and I at the casino


Little one with a new circus friend


With my girl at the circus.

Hope y'all are having a great weekend!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BFREE2LIVE 4/24/2012 1:39AM

WOW!!! I can really see the weight loss. You look fantastic, way to go. Happy for Hubby's new business I am sure the stress has lifted and it shows in your face. Have a wonderful week. Sandy Report Inappropriate Comment

CUISINEEXAMINER 4/22/2012 12:18PM

Glad you had a good time. Report Inappropriate Comment