JOYFULJUDYLYNN   19,203
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JOYFULJUDYLYNN's Recent Blog Entries

I'm bored... and keep finding my way to the kitchen

Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm not hungry! I have a large glass of icy crystal light... there is NO REASON for me to be in the kitchen constantly. I'm just bored. My daughter is watching tv, and I'm essentially waiting for my husband to get home. I've balanced the checkbook, taken the dog for a walk, and other tasks to keep my mind from eating.

We're even going to dinner tonight. We do every Friday night. And I've made very good food choices today. I still have plenty of calories to have a nice, carefully selected entree at the restraurant. Why would I sabatoge myself and ruin that? Makes no sense to me.

A friend and I were talking the other day about being "mindful" of why we eat. I'm trying to do that. Such a new thing. To think about WHY I overeat and eat the wrong things.

So... here I am on Spark. Blogging and browsing message boards and blogs. Spending my time reminding myself of my goals rather than giving in to a stupid desire to mindLESSLY munch.

Today I chose to be mindful.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEETINGMYGOAL15 8/14/2010 9:00AM

    Great Job! I'm proud of you for staying out of the kitchen!!! And coming to the boards and spark friends instead to help remind you of why you wanted to do this journey!!!! we will eventually get stronger and stronger with every day!!

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RONDAMB 8/13/2010 9:24PM

    Way to go!! I am proud of you for making the decision to stay out of the kitchen!! emoticon

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2BFREE2LIVE 8/13/2010 7:59PM

    Good choice, I think maybe a little pampering might be nice if you have time for a soak in the tub to relax before going out, that is what I do when I am bored. I find the bathroom and all the lotions and creams and girl stuff to keep me busy. Have fun on your night out. Sandy

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Another pound of confidence!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Yeah... I'm not very good at the weigh in once a week thing. It's the OCD in me.

ANYWAYS.... I'm down another pound!!!!! 10 pounds total. And as I lose another pound, I find myself gaining more confidence. I did this last Fall (ate healthy, counted calories) and lost 25#. But I gave up on myself and it all crept back. But the confidence that I'm building this time tells me that I'm in control! I know what works. Eating right. Drinking water. Being active. Being consistent.

So this time I vow: if I fall off the wagon, I will not tell myself I'm a failure and there's no point. I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on track at the next meal.

I CAN DO THIS!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BFREE2LIVE 8/13/2010 6:41PM

    emoticonHey I weigh myself every morning, better not be anyone in the bathroom when I get up that is the first place I head to the scales. I don't think I have OCD!!! emoticonThen again I am getting old I might have forgotten that I just weighed the previous morning:) Great job. Sandy

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MEETINGMYGOAL15 8/13/2010 3:31PM

    yes you can do this judy! I'm so proud of you keep it up!

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RACHASHLEY 8/13/2010 12:55PM

    Thank you so much for that reminder and boost of my own confidence.

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Making changes

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Change. It's a dirty word sometimes. It brings with it anxiety and fear. It can also bring hope and light. Change is coming in my life. In fact... I think it's here!

I've been a member of a message board for 2 1/2 years. What started as some friendships on a birth board while we were all pregnant morphed into a tightly group of 30 women I spoke with daily. But somewhere, something went wrong. One person's actions and words infected the group for me. Tainted everything good about it. So, in order to preserve the good relationships I have with other women, I chose to delet myself.

If you ask my husband, it's the internet... a message board. No big deal! Move on! For me... it was huge. It's the first time in a long time that I risked feeling "alone" or "lonely" rather than allow myself to be abused, talked down to, belittled, or just treated poorly. It was me standing up for me. It was me being a best friend to myself. What a new feeling! I AM IN CONTROL OF ME!

And instead of crying, instead of being sad, I feel relieved. I feel like I'm able to shrug off their misconceptions about me. Able to continue to focus on myself. In the past, I'd have stayed and simply ate to bury my feelings of inadequacy and being unliked. But rather than old harmful habits, I chatted with a few REAL friends, got a good night's sleep, and woke up motivated to make healthy choices today.

Hmmm.... Change. Not always bad.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BFREE2LIVE 8/12/2010 6:06PM

    Good for you getting rid of the negative things holding you back from who you are.
Yes people can be hurtful and they do so intently or do not realize that they are hurting others.
This to has been a thorn for me in the past and I have just realized that I am more important than the ones who hurt me are.
I embrace every day as a new happy day and will not let anything interfere with the way I feel.
Be strong and be willing to make friends outside your other circle as that group was only hurting you.
Sometimes writing things down really help to release the pressure that is built up inside the very thing that is holding you back from who you want to be.
Go for your goal and be the person you want to be. emoticonSandy

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Great first week!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

WooHoo!!!! My doctor's scale weighed me in at 306 last week and it broke my heart. I didn't have the courage to weigh myself again on my own scale that day for a baseline, so I'm going off that. But today I'm 297!!!! 9 pounds to reflect a great week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that most weeks will be 1, maybe 2 pounds. Some weeks won't show any loss on the scale. Some weeks may show a gain. But THIS week reflects all my changes. Cutting OUT diet pepsi. HUGE change for me! Eating healthy choices. Keeping track of my intake. Drinking lots and lots of water. Moving.

It's an accomplishment. And it shows that I chose this path I'm on. And that it's paying off for me!

Hopefully I'll NEVER see the 300's again!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BFREE2LIVE 8/11/2010 4:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonGreat job. That is important to lose the first week because that shows you that this really does work. Just keep doing what your doing and you will continue to lose. It will take time just like gaining did but it comes off faster than you think. Go for your goal. emoticonYOU ARE DOING IT!!! Sandy

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HIPPIE44 8/11/2010 10:45AM

    emoticon

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ALYNNHENDERSON 8/11/2010 10:38AM

    Sounds like you are off to a good start!!
Congratulations on the lost pounds.
I also had to stop drinking soda.
I will drink a cup of coffee and some hot tea, but not all the
sugar and empty calories from the soda are worth it.



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AMARSHALL1272 8/11/2010 10:36AM

    emoticon Way to go!

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JADENZMOM 8/11/2010 10:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

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DARACOX 8/11/2010 10:30AM

    emoticon Way to cut out the diet pop! Keep moving and you will do great! Welcome!

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Getting started

Monday, August 09, 2010

Getting started always seems to be the hardest part for me. "I'll start tomorrow". But tomorrow doesn't come for months. I have come to the realization that only I can do this for me. Only I can choose what goes into my body. Only I get to choose what to eat and what to not eat. only I make that choice to bing in the afternoon after a stressful day at work, or snack with Olivia on fruit snacks.

I did so well last Fall... learned about nutrition, and lost about 25#... and then gained back each and every pound.... plus 2. When I went to the doctor on Wednesday and they weighed me in at 306.2, I nearly cried! I topped out at 411 nearly ten years ago and SWORE when I left the 300's that I'd never go back. But here I am.

I got down to 236. Then I had surgery after surgery and weight loss stalled, but I maintained. Then I got pregnant with my beautiful daughter. bed rest, a complicated pregnancy and recovery put me out of commission for several months. And breast feeding gave me an excuse to over eat.... and in the past 2 years I've gained back 60 pounds. I HATE that!

So, Wednesday was "tomorrow". I made the decision, went to the store and bought some healthy foods to get us by until shopping day. I just found SparkPeople yesterday, and I so happy I did! A place for support and education! A place to come and learn/read/be encouraged rather than eat!!!

I weighed myself this morning.... 299! I'll take it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAVANNAHBRIDE 8/9/2010 11:53AM

    emoticon

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