Wednesday, October 27, 2010
We had an awful night with the baby child last night. It's the dreaded four month sleep regression, and it's gotten progressively worse in the past few weeks. We've gone from a baby who will sleep from 9 pm until 7 pm, to waking up every hour all night long. I'm exhausted and not feeling well (partly because every one else is sick, and partly because I'm not getting enough rest).
Well, I haven't been to the gym all week, and haven't done any running since Friday. I want to go to the gym tonight, but I don't want to wear myself out, and I don't know how effective a workout will be with me not pushing myself. I'm trying to convince myself that 30 minutes of light exercise is better than no exercise, especially since my weigh in is tomorrow...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I didn't click the link, so I can not tell you exactly how African Mango Seeds can help you lose weight. But it got me thinking- how huge the weight loss industry is. There's this diet, that flush, these prepackaged meals that really aren't all that great for you, and tons of pills and products you can ingest to that supposedly help you lose weight (we're going to save the discussion of exercise machines and philosophies for another day).
I believe that if there was a miracle cure or easy way to lose weight than there would be no overweight people. But there's not. You can't just stuff your face and sit on your butt and look like a supermodel or athlete. For most of us, losing weight or maintain a healthy lifestyle is work. It is almost a full time job, with making the right decisions, carving out time to plan healthy meals and snack, and fitting in some movement here and there.
I will admit I've tried different tactics to lose weight. South Beach, an organic 14 day cleanse (horrible, never again), strict calorie counting, support groups. I don't remember the first "diet" I went on, but I do remember unintentionally losing a ton of weight after my first major relationship break up when I was 20. And after things settled, the weight crept up. Then diets, exercise, would come and go. I worked hard right before my wedding to get in shape, and then that went out the window. And the pregnancies. Where you intentionally gain weight, and then you have to lose it.
I know that fads and pills and African Mango Seeds won't help me. And I've had a rough few days emotionally, and the bad eating habits and lack of exercise is taking a toll on me physically. Now after a few nights of bad sleep, I don't have the energy to go to the gym. And being out of the habit of tracking makes me not want to track.
But I have to! I've lost 15 pounds and that in itself is inspiring. I don't want it back, and I know I can keep going. I'll probably kibosh the gym tonight, but get in another walk before it gets dark. And tomorrow when I'm feeling better, go back to the gym in the afternoon. The one good thing about not feeling well physically is I don't want to eat as much. So dinner of a soup and salad with a slice of thin crust frozen pizza will be perfect.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Yesterday, baby Joshua was cranky. And unfortunately, it seems like I'm the only person he likes, so I'm the one who gets to console him, and keep him happy. But this takes a huge toll on my psyche, and by the end of the day, I just want out. My lovely husband (lovely when he does something helpful) offered to let me go to the gym, regardless of Josh's demeanor.
I was not feeling the gym when I arrived. There was guilt, anxiety, exhaustion, all built up inside of me. But whatever, I was there. The first mile on the elliptical I just suffered. But my weigh in was today, so I told myself, just half an hour. You're already half way there, just keep going. Doesn't matter that the baby is upset, he's with his dad and well taken care of. You are here, you are going to stay here, you are going to keep going. And six miles later, (or about an hour), I didn't want to leave.
I hopped on the bike after 30 minutes on the elliptical to finish reading my magazine I got two weeks ago. The magazine only took ten minutes to read, but I wanted to keep going. I sat, pedaled, and listened to some relaxing music while I contemplated what I wanted from this diet, excuse me, lifestyle change, and exercise.
I think I like the gym and eating healthy more now this time in my life than previously, because it is something I do for me. I feel better when I eat good stuff instead of cheese puffs, and exercise has turned into a huge stress relief for me. And honestly, the weight loss is just an added benefit.
Going to support groups and having a weekly weigh in has shifted my thinking. It used to be, these 50 pounds need to be gone. Then I would read or hear about women who are happy at whatever weight they are at. How can they be happy at 190 pounds, and I can't? Why was I so fixated on the number? It really is just a number.
Now I still rejoice at the success on the scale, but I am beginning to see the other changes. How I can walk for an hour and still want to go further. How my pre-pregnancy jeans are too big for me. And instead of focusing on that goal number, there's the dress that I want to zip. The pants I want to dust off. Or the run I want to do in the spring.
In high school English class, the motto was it is the journey, and not the end result. I honestly don't know if I can hit the magic number of 135, or what number I will set myself at. But so far I am really beginning to enjoy the journey.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I used to hate the gym. I would despise any time spent there. I hated the anticipation all day of going to the gym, I hated getting ready, I hated sweating, and I would never get energized afterward; I would just be tired and depressed.
After the baby was born, I knew I would have to work out to lose weight. I started going to a 30 minute, women's only gym with my mom as soon as I was 6 weeks post-partum. Baby Joshua would sleep in his car seat in the middle of the gym (it was a small gym) and my mom and I would work out. I went about once a week, in addition to my daily two mile walk, and was encouraged by the progress I made, and the inches I lost.
When a FB friend suggested going to the gym together at night, I decided to go with her twice a week. Leaving the baby at home, I would spend an hour hitting up the elliptical and bikes, and even tried running. Now, I go without the friend sometimes, and I really enjoyed it.
I've been thinking about it- what has changed? Why do I look forward to it all day when I used to despise it? Why do I plan my workout all day, save magazines to read, and make sure I have clean socks to wear? I think it is because it is me time. An hour a day several times a week, where I don't have to worry about laundry, diapers, baby puke, who's hungry, what we're going to eat, etc.
Now I can enjoy feeling active and being alone (or with my buddy who doesn't have children, which forces me to talk about non-baby related activities). It has become a stress relief, and the time flies by. I get disappointed if I get call home or my hour is up.
I will say that having music helps. I have a small-ish ipod that only (yes, I say only) holds about 200 songs. All of the songs on it are work out songs, and I play it on shuffle. When I'm getting discouraged or losing motivation while working out, I just skip a few songs until I'm pumped again. It's great to have variety and not expect what's coming next.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Today I tried a new supermarket, well, new to me anyway. I decided to take the scenic route home from baby music class, and stopped at the store on my way. Wow! The selection of food that they had- I was impressed. I thought I had been shopping at the biggest grocery store around, but that was nothing compared to what I found today.
Disclaimer: I am a HUGE fan of frozen meals. I know that they aren't the best for you, with the sodium and all the other preservatives, but as a new(ish) mom, I need to eat. And when the baby is screaming for food or a diaper, it's all I can do to pop a container in the microwave for me.
I like to have a few frozen meals on hand for snacks, or lunch, and the occasional dinner. I have figured out what time of Lean Cuisine, SmartOnes or Healthy Choice I like. Well, I thought I did. But this store! The selection! I even found the individual packs of the veggies in sauce that are only 40 calories that my regular store doesn't carry.
It's been disappointing to read about certain brands or types of food, and not be able to find them in my supermarket. I've been to different brands of supermarkets, and different locations of the same supermarket brand, and nothing. And low and behold, I found most of the things I was looking for today.
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