JONEIL513   39,624
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A mess, lack of coping skills and a new challenge.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Last week was the worst week I have had in a long time. First of all I had a cold which makes me into a cranky little baby under the best of circumstances. Personally I would rather have had a stomach bug or something but once I can't breathe right ya better watch out! I am also going through two major life changes..

A) my job is being bought by a new owner. I don't like my job but it pays my bills and it's easy. It works for now, I have been applying some other places but have not had any luck yet. i'm also in the process of furthering my education with some different certificates so I can get a career instead of just a job. I have worked here for 5 years and this new guy is coming in and taking over and quite frankly i'm afraid he is going to run the place into the ground, cut our hours/pay or lay us off. I'm terrified. He has no experience with this type of business and seems to think it's going to be easy to run (it is definitely NOT easy to run)

B) Moving in with a boooyyyyy!! My grandmother (before she passed last month) lived in an aparment on the side of the house I share with my parents. Well after some discussion it was decided my boyfriend and I were going to move in there and have it be our own place. I am pukingly terrified. I've never lived with a boyfriend.. in fact I have never had a boyfriend for more than two months. We have been together a year and i have trouble dealing with the magnitude of that sometimes. I'm on the verge of hysterics (i don't handle change well).

So last week I just shut down completely.. I got very depressed. I binged every single day. I ate amounts of food that were absolutely disgusting. My workouts consisted of light walks. I spent alot of time laying on my couch, stuffing my face and trying not to cry. I didn't do any of my studying, laundry has been piling up for over a week, i haven't made any moves to think about packing up any of my stuff or well really do anything.

I'm bringing an end to that today. I'm at work, I packed healthy snakcs. My plan for after work is to do a gentle workout (i'm still hacking up a lung unfortunately) then fold my laundry that is clean and study even if it is just a few pages. I need to start moving foward.

I need coping skills.. badly.. a way to deal with things when I am overwhelmed that don't involve numbing myself with food.

On that note Yoovie is starting a new challenge that is very personal.. it's all about "doing it yourself" and I WANT this BAD. I need to make progress, i've been very upset with myself for how poorly I have been doing. I have no excuses except I am still turning to food for comfort and I hate it. I need to stop NOW. The challenge starts July 1st, I go on vacation July 3rd, I am hoping this will help me to make at least some healthy decisions over vacation but when I get back I am bound and determined to just DO, stop thinking and wishing and hoping and JUST DO IT!! only I can control my eating and get the results I want. I have done one challenge before and didn't do so great at the end because it was when my grandmother got really sick and again I stress ate my way through that. I need a strong commitment and I need to find a way to deal with life without eating junk!

I KNOW I CAN DO BETTER!! I am capable of anything I put my mind to!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABB698 6/28/2011 3:20AM

    90% of this is mental, so if you really want this, push hard and you can do this! How exciting about the move in, and yes, change is scary, but it signifies forward movement, which is where you want to go. Read up on vacay & tell yourself you are so gonna rock this challenge, because YOU WILL! Have a great vacay :)

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MOONSTORMER 6/28/2011 12:08AM

    i'm also going to do the 'do it yourself' challenge! emoticon you are worth it!

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TRANSFORMWE 6/27/2011 11:36PM

    SO sorry to hear about your grandmother. Last week was 5 years since my Grandma died. I think its perfectly appropriate to spend a bit of time on the couch feeling immobilized -- grief does that to you. Plus you have a lot of other changes going on, too.

For coping skills to help you manage without overdoing food, check out the emotional eating resources here on Sparkpeople, as well as the EFT Team. EFT involves tapping specific parts of your body while you are tuned in to the emotional aspects of whatever issue you are working on. It helps move that energy out of your system. It has proven helpful in releasing traumas as well as specifically for weight loss and overcoming emotional eating.

emoticon emoticon

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EUPHRATES 6/27/2011 10:45PM

I believe in you - you CAN do this!

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JAVAQUEEN74 6/27/2011 3:57PM

    You CAN do it! Sometimes life throws us curve balls. We just have to catch 'em and throw 'em back! You've taken a major step in realizing that your last week wasn't your greatest. You've gotten fed up and now you're going to fix it! Good for you! You CAN do it! Just breathe through the challenges. You'll make it!

When life gives you lemons, make lemon sorbet. ^_^

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struggles and thoughts and new rules of lifting?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I haven't been feeling like myself. I got mad at this journey because I'm not seeing the progress I want to see. My neck injury from the "almost" car accident is still acting up two months later. I twisted my ankle the other day, not severly but enough to limit my ability to do high impact exercise. I indulged in a self pity binge fest for two days. I have my vacation coming up in two weeks, this of course includes too much eating and drinking but also lots of extra activity (walking, boating, frisbee, swimming etc) in addition to my regular exercise program.

My thoughts are all over the place. Where I my head is at right now is too not really push hard for the next two weeks, no more binging but not start any new more intense plans with a vacation coming up. I'm certainly not giving up but it seems silly to start a new plan when I know i'm going to be out of my element for a week after barely getting started. Also with my exercise being somewhat limited thats a big downer. maybe that's just an excuse?

8-1-11 that is the date on which I will have exercised for one year without missing a day doing a minimum of ten minutes although almost always more (provided nothing crazy happens in the next month or so). My boyfriend wants to reward me with something small, I was thinking about asking for the book "new rules of lifting for women" after an SP friend recomended it.

However I"m thinking I might want to purchase it before then. Then I can read it while on vacation and perhaps implement the program when I get back from vaca?

Also after vaca i'm thinking about cutting some calories, perhaps aiming for 1400-1500 per day? see if that gets the scale moving. Also thinking about finding a way to increase my protein without increasing my calories by much per the suggestion of some of my awesome SP friends.

I know i'm pretty healthy, i work out daily, eat pretty well, get my fruits, veggies, lean proteins and whole grains but i'm still 22 pounds away from hitting a "healthy" BMI.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAMIAMLEXICON 6/26/2011 2:51PM

    i understand how frustrating it can be to be limited by injuries or illness. i agree with a previous poster that your journey so far is proof that you are a warrior.
all the positive comments on the book make it sound like a must have for you. i know that you like to have a thorough plan but i think it would help if you focused on the present for a little while. every day is a chance to add or subtract from the goal. in fact each meal, or workout can be too. maybe just ask yourself, each day til vacation "what is the best thing i can do for my body today?" and keep it simple.
you are awesome and i know you'll get through the setbacks soon.

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ABB698 6/23/2011 2:52AM

    I think reading the book on vacay sounds like a good idea, to get you prepared to dive right in when you get.back. Your exercise streak is amazing & I'm so proud of you! I'm on vacay now, & no strength training is available, I am making sure to get at least 10,000 steps or 5 miles in daily. I've already wore hubby out, lol, but luckily I've set my kids up to enjoy exercise, so they go with me. Makes me feel not so bad for adding that watermelon vodka to my seltzer water ;)
Enjoy your vacay, & good luck on your plan

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MOONSTORMER 6/23/2011 1:08AM

    i thoroughly enjoyed reading NROL4W! i am following the program and really loving it! up to you when you want to start, but i think it is an excellent choice.

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CHAOSTHEORY635 6/23/2011 12:03AM

    NROL4W rocks! Hope you like the workouts as much as I did. Some of the exercises are HARD (Cuban snatch, anyone?). Definitely read the whole thing. It will reiterate a lot of stuff you know already but will also teach you some things you don't. Two recommendations as you go through it:

- Follow the freaking calorie ranges and protein recommendations in the book! You won't see major strength gains or body composition changes (by which i mean the good changes you want) if you don't eat enough. Plus you'll be tired and cranky. Stick with the recommendations for several weeks, and only drop lower if your weight consistently increases outside the range of normal fluctuation.

- If the exercise is new to you, look it up on Youtube. The pictures are nice, but for some movements I found they weren't enough. For super useful exercises like squats and deadlifts, when you start going heavier (especially ~75+% of your bodyweight)--get a session with a trainer (a GOOD trainer) to check your form. You want to make certain you don't round your back during deadlifts or let your knees cave in when you squat! And these are things it's difficult to gauge for yourself if you work out alone with just a book.

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KATHIERAE 6/22/2011 11:27PM

    Good luck to you, whatever you decide! Sounds like an interesting book--might have to look into it myself...

About the time I feel really "on top" of my eating, I have a day like today where I'm totally out of whack again. Hmmm...

Remember to LOVE YOU, Cuz YOU are worth it!!

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/22/2011 9:03PM

    Oh my - you have accomplished so much. It is amazing. I am so proud of you.

I know what it is like to recover from a car accident. It took me about a year. I know how it feels to also not feel your usual strength - so just take it easy. Maybe you just need more time.

One year of exercise every day says enough about what kind of warrior you are and commitment you have. Very, very impressive stuff.


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    get the book!

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BUTTERCUPP77 6/22/2011 4:51PM

    Re not starting a new program because of an impending holiday.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I like to start things on the first of the month- or at least a Monday. I also don't like to stop partway, or feel like I've had to give up and re-start.

On the other hand, there's the idea of using this 2 week period as a trial run.

I went back to Bikram Yoga 10 days before a 3 1/2 week long vacation (out of province for the lot of it). It was the best thing I could have done for myself. Now that I'm back (and once my social life has slowed a little- funny how everyone has missed me!) I'm itching to get back to it. I needed to re-set the habit before leaving, so now it's going to be so easy to fall into.

Just another perspective for you to consider.


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ONICAM 6/22/2011 4:40PM

    I am also with lots of injuries, so I do not see enough progress. I am also a person that isn't quite under enough control with the eating as it is either.

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MISTYMOVIN 6/22/2011 4:31PM

    It's definitely worth picking up the book to simply read it, there's a lot more there besides lifting routines. And it's actually a pretty entertaining read. I like how the author engages you and there's so much "Aha! Why didn't I realize that before" information in there besides the actual lifting.

giving yourself a recovery/rest time is also as key as getting enough exercise. your body does need that downtime take an active recovery week or two and don't feel guilty! Even if you just take a walk or ease up on the'll do ya good!

I'm so looking forward to getting to the healthy BMI myself, but I've also pretty much given up on BMI since it's such a flawed system...there's no accounting for frame size and muscle. But I'm also a scale addict haha...I just wanna see it go down!

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UV project 3 and a bit of frustration.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The UV Project- Week 3- 6/14- 6/20

Take care of YOU!!

You work, go to school, take care of kids, relationships, friends, fit in workouts, etc.. but how often do you take time out for yourself? This week- focus on "you" time, and do some thing for yourself that YOU love to do.

emoticon I spent all day on sunday having fun and relaxing with my family and my boyfriend. I went out in the paddle boat twice, I sat in the sun and read a magazine, I played frisbee, I took a walk and just generally enjoyed myself!

Fruits and Veggies:

This week, try making a new meal using only fruits and veggies! Take a picture or post a recipe and share with the rest of us!

emoticon ok well I didn't quite do that but I did increase my fruit and veggie intake. Fruit with breakfast, fruit or a veggie with my lunch and the same with dinner. I also included fruits and veggies with my nighttime snack two days.


Burn baby, BURN! Rack of those fitness minutes by pushing cardio to the max. Get that heart rate pumping. Report back next week with minutes dedicated to cardio!

emoticon gotcha! My workouts this week were:
Monday: Turbo Jam 20 minute express workout
Tuesday: 30 Day Shred Levels One and Two 54 minutes
Wednesday: TurboFire 45 EZ 44 minutes
Thursday:Elliptical 30 minutes
Friday: Turbo Jam Punch Kick and Jam 48 minutes
Saturday: Turbo Fire 30 Minutes
Sunday: recovery day Walk at the lake 38 minutes (also lots of fun active time but I don't count that hehe)

Cardio Minutes 166
ST 54 minutes with Jillian..


In addition to your regular ST routine- this week you gotta really work that core. Stream a new video, grab a fitness magazine and kill it!

emoticon Well normally I would have done my ST tuesday, thursday, saturday but my neck has been bothering me. I don't know if it has to do with last months injury or not but I don't want to push it. Anyway I did levels one and two of 30 day shred so I did quite a few ab exercises on tuesday!! Next week will be better I hope!

I'm getting a little frustrated with everything. My neck hurts, I've been mediocre with my eating but killer with my workouts. I have hardly lost any weight since January. I've lost a bit of inches here and there and a few pounds. I'm just not really making progress. I know my eating isn't always perfect but even when it is on track I'm not losing much so it feels like a waste. Maybe SP is telling me to eat more than I should or something. I have it set to lose a pound a week. I usually burn about 2700-3200 per week through exercise and I eat about 1600 cals a day when i'm on track. I'm just annoyed. Sometimes I feel like this is as good as i'm gonna get! I feel good I'm active, I eat right most of the time, I feel attractive (usually) but i'm still overweight and there is still a good amount of "flub" i'm trying to get off of me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATHIERAE 6/20/2011 11:32PM

    Totally hear ya. My weight has been at a standstill too, or yo-yo up and down a few pounds. And I have a LOT more to lose yet than you, and don't work as hard! There is lots of good advice here already, so mine is to listen to them, they know of which they speak! emoticon emoticon

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OFFDREA 6/20/2011 10:47PM

    That sucks your neck is still bugging you.
I know what you mean about the stalled losses. That was really getting to me. Im on a team where losses are counted and I already told them I can't continue after we finish our current challenge. Im tired of being disappointed by the scale. The measurements aren't going down much either but I don't notice that. Im loving my size, loving my new summer clothes and Im happy when Im not focusing on that stuff. Im just going to continue to work hard and see where it takes me.
For the amount of work you are doing 1600 does sound sufficient but maybe try adding another 100 or so cals a day. See if it works. Your body might just want more. How much protein do you get? I aim for at least 120 g a day, I drink a shake with 1.5 scoops for an extra boost.

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MISTYMOVIN 6/20/2011 12:32PM

    I got a neck/shoulder twinge myself the other day, think it was when we did jumping jacks holding a Body Bar over our heads doing shoulder presses at the same time. lol
I've just had to work around it, kinda sucks, but at least only hurts during certain movements.

I'm sure you'll do great. Have you tried upping your calories a bit too? Or trying for a certain amount of protein? I know it may seem intuitive to work more and eat less but it can actually work against ya, esp if you want to build muscle.

Weight might drop off slower while you're building muscle, but you'll burn more fat, thus get smaller :) I aim for 1800 calories on workout days and about 1600 on rest days myself with about 100-125g protein a day. I'm aiming for about the same burn as you, 2500-3k a week. Eating too little could actually force your body to "shut down" and try to preserve itself.

I don't see alot of scale movement (yet) but I am seeing progressive strength gains.

Comment edited on: 6/20/2011 12:42:42 PM

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TAMIAMLEXICON 6/20/2011 12:04PM

    while you are in a plateau, keep focusing on the benefits of your life style and you'll make it through. i'm certain that "this" is not as good as its gonna get. i'm in a plateau too. last time i felt down about it, i searched "benefits besides weight loss" on sparkpeople and read a few motivating blogs from other people who've been there.
xx tam

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ready to rock this week!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I had two days off track. My youngest sister's highschool graduation party was sunday.. I had a good plan but became weak around all the food and ate too much. Yesterday was mine and my bf's one year anniversary and we went out to eat and i enjoyed lots of bad food. Today is a new day and I plan to seriously ROCK this week and the rest of the month.

emoticon Last week I sort of allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted whenever I was hungry. I was kind of looking to see where my body wanted to be calorie-wise. Apparently I like to eat about 1900-2100 calories. This doesn't count sunday and mondays eat-a-thon. SO my goal for this week is to eat an average of 1600 calories.

emoticon part of the UV challenge is to up the cardio minutes! I'm going to kick some exercise butt this week. I did a 20 minute turbo jam last night because I was feeling sluggish from eating crap. So i plan to do at least 45 minutes every day for the rest of the week!

emoticonanother part of the challenge is to work our core! i'm going to do Jillian michaels levels 1 &2 again and she does a fair amount of abs. I'm aiming to do that tonight, thursday and saturday. However if i'm not feeling up to that I'll do a different ST but add on turbofires 10 minute core workout. So my abs will get worked hard this week!

emoticon on a totally awesome note I got dressed for my sisters graduation party and have never felt so hot in my whole life! I wore a tank top and jean capris. I seriously felt TINY. I was getting my pic taken over and over and looking at them and LOVING it. It was such an amazing feeling! I got quite a few compliments from friends and family. Then I posted the pics on my facebook and got three seperate comments from people who said how great I looked and used the word "proud" including someone I haven't seen since high school when i was about 60 pounds heavier! I looked at pictures of myself with a friend who is very thin and my sister who is a tiny little thing and I didn't feel like I looked like a blimp next to them! I feel so good! I know I ate too much for a bit but I'm still feeling smaller and tighter then I ever have. I don't even care what the scale says I'm looking good even if the scale doesn't agree! I"m right back on track today with no issues, normally after going off my routine I struggle to get back to it but I feel so good I want to eat well and do my killer workouts!

emoticon I'm also going to rock my studying this month because i'm falling behind!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NONIE_C 6/17/2011 1:31AM

    I love this blog!!! I love where you're at with your super positive self-perception right now and I hope the self-love just keeps growing inside you!

Way to go!!!!

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ABB698 6/14/2011 11:22PM

    emoticonfor feeling great for all your hard work! You deserve to! emoticon

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UV project 2!

Monday, June 13, 2011

UV Project: 6/6-6/12

Get your exercise on!
Take your fitness minutes from last week and increase them by 10% this week! Yay for math!
emoticonlast week I had 218, 10% is 21.8 so I needed 240 this week!

Monday: I did an ST program I designed: 41 minutes
Tuesday: Jillian's Banish Fat Boost Metabolism 54 min
Wednesday: I managed one set of a bunch of ST it was so hot and my AC was broken at work all day. so 16 minutes
Thursday: Turbofire Stretch 40 (yoga type stretch) 42 min
Friday: Jillians 30 Day shred Level 1 AND 2! 54 minutes
Saturday: TurboJam Punch Kick and Jam 48 minutes
Sunday: Elliptical 30 minutes

Grand Total 285 minutes! awesome!

Beachy ST- time to work on that bikini body!!
Choose a part of your beach body that you want to work on the most and work it like never before! (arms, abs, legs, butt) How many squats, crunches, pushups can you do? Choose an exercise that works for you that will make you really sore!

emoticon I chose to really work my total body.. I rocked my ST this week! especially friday, doing two levels of 30 day shred is killer!!

Get outside and play! Run around, hula hoop, play frisbee, etc- do some thing that makes you feel young, sexy and fun!

emoticon I hung out on the deck all day for my sisters grad party.. if that counts!!

Try a new recipe and post a picture in the team area!
emoticoni don't really cook so I didn't do this part lol!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABB698 6/14/2011 12:35AM

    emoticonJob! Work it Girlie! :)

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KATHIERAE 6/13/2011 10:47PM

    You totally rock!!! I need to kick it into gear again... you inspire me! emoticon

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TAMIAMLEXICON 6/13/2011 7:56PM

    sounds like a solid week. bless you for exercising with a broken a/c. many including myself would have seen that as a divine reason to only move as absolutely necessary. so i'm proud of your 16 sweaty blazing ST minutes as well as your ability to do so much high intensity exercise. well done my friend.

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