Friday, February 05, 2010
I hadn't realized it, but a monster had taken over my body. My thinner, inner self had been consumed by a fat monster. I guess it came on slowly, perhaps as some parasite that came into my body in the form of refined sugar, grew with saturated fat and eventually took over. And I let it!!! How could that be, it wasn't a friend, it wasn't healthy, and it made me irritable. I tried to get rid of the monster, but grew weak while dieting and the monsters appetite was HUGE. Searching the spark website, reading articles, getting support, tracking what I ate AND exercise is defeating that fat monster--whoo hoo!
Friday, September 18, 2009
I worked outside the home my whole entire adult life. I worked reduced hours when my children were infants, but other than that, full time 40 hours per week. The work we do outside the home whether it's a a business office or a manufacturing plant gets pretty routine. Our co-workers are our family in our "home away from home". And our relationships with our work "core group" vary depending our personalities. We know that we don't really like Joe in Accounting, but accept that he is who he is and can work in a civil relationship. or we really click with Phyllis in the lab and know all her kids' names, daily home schedule, etc. This to me is comfort, normal.
I was off of work this whole week. The economy is slow. This gave me plenty of time to get those tasks done at home that needed to be done. School had started, so I could do as I wanted at my own pace, without having to stop to make dinner or run my daughter to an appointment, a friends, to work, whatever. But then......I wandered away from home. Perhaps it began with that beer can in the cemetery, I don't know. But today as I ran errands during the hours I'd typically be at work, I found out.....it's a whole different world out there from 8-5 everyday.
My errands were simple. Two grocery stores, a pharmacy and a fitness center. First I went to Walgreen's. Really I only had to pick up my next hair color there and a few other items they had advertised. OK, OK. Yes I did get the candy bars that were 2 for $1. But in my own defense, these are medically and emotionally necessary during my cyclical "grazing" week. EVERY woman knows what I mean--back me up here, please. One needs to be prepared. I pulled into a parking stall
and as I turned my ignition off, a blue car next to me attempted to back out. I stayed in my car, courteously, and thumbed through the sales flier. Next, the car went forward, fast, and hit the concrete parking block. The driver inside and his passenger just sat inside. Hmmm, so do I get out of my car and hope his next attempt to back up works? Do I move to a different parking spot?
I sat there for a little while longer, now actually ripping out the coupons from the flier, then went into the store. I peeked out the window, once inside Walgreen's and got the license plate number of the blue dodge 4 door sedan. Thank goodness my car is dirty. That way the insurance adjuster will see all the damage surely to come of this. I imagined my call into the police "Yes, I'd like to report an accident" My car was in the parking lot and the car next to me must have backed out and hit my car" (Can you describe the car?) Well yes, it was a duck butt, dark blue dodge neon license number 141*****. (duck butt?) Yes, you know the kind of car with a rear spoiler? Well doesn't that look like a duck butt to you?. Anyway, I'm sure that would be the car that hit me. The driver inside was having difficulty controlling the car...probably too much drag created by the duck butt while backing and too much push while going forward--but that is just speculation on the performance of the duck butt feature. I'm calling my insurance company now."
I did get my few items rather quickly and peeked out the stores windows are couple of times. I rounded an aisle corner pretty quickly as my rubber neck was still looking out the window and almost ran smack dab into a little old man!!!! OH no, was this the driver of the duck butt blue Neon? No, thank goodness. It was some life like Halloween decoration called Willee Lee Life-like. He was life like alright. Okay, to the check out!!! Got out to the parking lot by my car and it was unscathed. Dirty, but unhurt. The duck butt blue dodge neon was parked there without anyone in it.
Okay, next stop, fitness center. I drove up the street a few blocks and saw one of those motorized scooters clipping up the sidewalk at a good speed. The driver was text messaging as he rode up the sidewalk. NICE!
My workout was interrupted by one critical teenage crisis call (at lunch time) about having to go with bff after school or well...who knows pandemonium!!!! Got my shower in before going to the grocery store(s). Okay, why waste my time on 2 grocery stores? That will be a different blog on a different day and has no relevance here.
Shower is done, but still have that "just out of the shower" look about me--you know 1/2 wet hair, make up applied, well in 1 minute, etc. Naturally as I'm putting the groceries in my car, a friendly man approaches me and talks like we are old friends. 'Hi, JoAnne, How you doin'?" (Auto response here) "Good, Good" And I'm staring at him and trying to figure out who IS this person? He sounded like Robin from at work in a different department, but this guy has a mustache and is actually very nice looking (quick check, oh yeah, I look like I was caught in a hurricane or something). Did I date him? No, I would not have dumped him, he's handsome. Finally, as I struggle, looking totally perplexed I fumble with "I'm sorry I don't recall knowing your name..."
Oh don't recognize me with out my white jacket on? some people don't I'm Dr. S**** (my personal physician)!!!!!! OMG!!! Maybe it was being red from the workout an hour before, but THIS man has seen at least part of me naked!)
"Oh, I didn't...".and something or other came out of my mouth even with my foot stuck inside One more errand--made it in and out okay. Finally made it home. "There's no place like home, there's no place like home". Yes, where my daughter was giggling with bff about all the important stuff in their world, where my silly dog and psycho cat live.
A girlfriend and I went for a walk before preparing dinner. It was so gorgeous outside. My daughter and friend also went for a walk. When I got home, on my kitchen counter sat 2 containers of warm Chinese take out. One was sweet and sour chicken and the other some type of chicken stuff. No note, just take out containers. I only know 2 people who always order sweet and sour chicken, one lives in Minneapolis, the other I haven't heard from since we broke up 3 years ago.
My daughter came home 10 minutes after I walked in the door. "Cool" I was hungry for Chinese" and she starts to eat it right for the container. We don't even know where it came from. We don't have a Chinese restaurant in the town I live in so now I have to figure out where it came from--Nancy Drew time!-AND it smelled awesome!!! After a few phone calls, we discovered that a neighbor of mine who has become a wonderful friend, dropped it off while we went for our walk.
Monday I go back to work. I work 8-4:30, things are normal there.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Today I brought some fall flowers to the cemetery and placed it on the shepards hook by my parents' headstone. I had off of work today, and my daughter was in school. This was a nice day to sit and reflect a little. Usually, I stay for a few minutes and rush off to some destination I have to be. But today, there was no where else I wanted to be or had to be, just there visiting for a bit.
I had a nice talk about the crossroads I seem to be at at this point of my life. How I'm simply spinning around and around without moving forward or backward. How I find it difficult to make a "leap" in any direction. I realized that by thinking and calculating and planning pros vs. cons, etc it actually is stalling. So I need to proceed. My mind isn't making the decision, it keeps me spinning. I realized whichever direction I go at this crossroad will have to be based on what I feel, not what I know, not what I think, but what I feel. As I came out of the cemetery, going past headstone after headstone I came across a beautiful small bouquet of flowers. The bouquet was placed where the dirt was still showing, but there was no headstone. As I looked closer at the bouquet, there was an unopened can of Sharp's beer at the back of the bouquet.
I looked at the bouquet and tried to understand. Many things went through my head like "do you actually think they'll come back and drink it?" "do you know kids could come up here and drink it"--BUT when my head quieted, and I simply looked at it for what it was, and felt it--I believe it was someone's last farewell, probably the last drink together between friends. A farewell toast while one stayed and finished his/her beer, the other looked fondly back as he/she went past the crossroad and moved forward.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Ok, so the jury is out about pheromones. Most scientists believe that we, as humans do not pick up on pheromones. Perfume manufactures try to "create" desirable scents that attract the opposite sex. Most people have scents and smells that they particularly like, apple pie, roses, pumpkin, lilac, etc. Aromatherapy is very popular in it's belief that a particular smell can have a calming, or re-energizing affect.
Well, my belief is this. I am single. I have excellent hygiene. IF I secrete any type of pheromone, it definitely does NOT attract any single, gainfully employed, morally upstanding, heterosexual, man over 35. Today, at the small fitness center I go to, a man in his 30's was using the only treadmill (which I wanted to use too). I warmed up on one of the ellipticals in the fitness center while he worked out listening to talk radio. When he was finished, I got to get on the treadmill with my warm up of a mile already done. I proceeded to run for 20 minutes.
In my workouts, I sweat quite a lot. My face gets red, sweat runs in my eyes, but it is a great workout. I'm sure that my natural body secretions are well, ok, repulsive. I literally "stink it up" on the treadmill. Sweating, is not attractive to the senses of eyes and nose to male or female. I do believe that sweating creates antipheromones. And with as quick as that man left the fitness center, I think he may be anti-antipheromones.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Last night my elderly neighbor came to visit me. For whatever reason, my dog doesn't like him. She barks and shakes, so I take her by the collar and put her in her kennel when he visits. I wasn't as fast as I should have been. As I grabbed my dog's collar, quick as a flash, my cat went past me and into the back entry area where she proceeded to hiss, growl, and bat at my neighbor. Unsuccessful in her protection efforts, she finally bit him in the big toe (he had sandals on). Luckily, the bite didn't break the skin. I was mortified! My neighbor just laughed at the crazy kitty as my daughter took it to a different room. The thing is my dog is a 60 lb. lab, my kitty, although large, is a 13 lb declawed housecat.
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