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Acceptance Versus Resignation

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Right about the time I feel as if I’ve hit a stone wall, am walking around in a bit of a fog and generally clueless, God, His angels and His saints provide a clearing, a brief moment of insight that resembles a ray of sun piercing the darkness. Suddenly all is clear………….. At least for a little while.

God, The Universe, karma, the luck of the Polish, call it what you will, has brought a most amazing and wise friend into my life to act not only as a good friend but as a guide of sorts. I am honor bound to share their wisdom. We were talking on the phone the other day, both lamenting our current state in life when it dawned on me that this dear friend has continued to be a success in many areas of their life despite some very real and very challenging setbacks. I’ll have to admit that as much as I admire them I do get just a tad bit jealous of their ability to just keep plugging ahead. During the course of our conversation I figured out the difference in how we looked at things.

My friend accepts life as it is. They don’t sugar coat it, don’t make excuses. When they are angry, frustrated, tired, fed up, etc. They own it and show it. They suffer a weight gain, they admit it accept it and move on. Vehicle breaks down, cash flow dries up relationships get strained, all the other stuff that plagues us they accept it as the day-du-jour if you will and move on.

Me? I resign myself to my fate. Woe is me and all that other melodrama. No one has ever had it as bad, no one ever will and BTW I am fatter and more out of shape than any person I know because it’s in my genes, my ethnicity. It’s certainly not my life style. I have difficulty walking, so now I am limited to what I can do. Woe is me.

It is there I found the wisdom. My dearest friend accepts a condition not its limitation. I on the other hand get thrown a curve ball and resign myself to a life of gloom and doom. Yes I am grateful and thankful for all the wonders God provides me but I also sabotage myself on a regular basis by building walls higher and thicker than they really are and mutter something about finally getting my reward in heaven. When I resign myself to s situation I am giving up. And……….. I have a built in excuse

I have made a list of my limitations. They are very real and I am in the process of accepting them. I have come to realize they represent less than one third of who I am and what I am capable of accomplishing in my life. Until now I resigned myself to a certain fate. Oh, I had room to grow but the boundaries were clearly defined. Like anything new it feels awkward, odd and scary. There is this part of me that has been largely unexplored for fifty eight years. I wonder what I am capable of?

It is subtle at best and as my friend is teaching me difficult to discern between the two. There is a story in one of the Gospels that I never really grasped until now. A blind man stopped Jesus and begged for a cure. Jesus touched his eyes and the film that had distorted the man’s vision was removed. The man could see clearly. My vision is just not the external process of seeing, it is the internal process of identifying, discerning, accepting and moving forward.

Acceptance versus Resignation…………… A project for a lifetime.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASFKAB 11/4/2011 12:37AM

  Good luck in achieving your goals

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CARTOONB 11/3/2011 10:03PM

    What can you accomplish? Anything you want.

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CMBELISLE 11/3/2011 12:07PM

    It's all part of learning to exploit what you're good at. So what if I can't play the piano like a concert master, it doesn't stop me from enjoying listening to it. I'm good at other things and have to concentrate on those.

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CIVIAV 11/3/2011 11:57AM

    And a gift I am in much appreciation for. Received it just in the past few weeks and oh what a different world it is when you do.
How grand John.

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PGNBRI 11/3/2011 11:29AM

    Great Post John!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 11/3/2011 10:39AM

    It sounds like you found a good one. We have to accept ourselves and love ourselves as we are, not how we wish we were. We have the ability to decide whether we are happy are not, regardless of our cricumstances. It's a conscious decision.

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SILLYHP1953 11/3/2011 9:47AM

    Acceptance was one of the BIG lessons I have learned, am learning, and will continue learning. It applies to all areas of my life, but it still seems strange to have to accept my body as it is before change can occur.

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HDHAWK 11/3/2011 8:58AM

    I have some of the same struggles John. Every tough situation teaches us something. I keep learning that one over and over. Hope you're over the flu!

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MIZZSB 11/3/2011 8:53AM

    Hi John

I am like you. I do the same ( i am bigger, sadder, need more compassion from others etc) but it hit me recently that that is the way I want to feel. And its ME who lets me feel like that and act on that.
I am the 5% fall challenge and one of my co leaders DIANEDOESSMILE is restrained to her bed with an cast and can occasionally be in her wheelchair. But she is exercising everyday for 2 hours! may it be playing the piano or doing chair exercises she is doing it. She is coping with her life as it is. And she is one hell of a motivator for me!!

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KATHRYN1955 11/3/2011 8:35AM

    Hi John:
I read your blog with a great deal of interest and it occurred to me that while we (me) may be "begging for a cure", that for some reason that is buried deep in our subconscious, we sabotage our "cure." That whole 'learned helplessness' thing may have served us well in the past. I know I get to a certain weight, I feel great for a few days, then back up I go! I don't feel as well, but for some reason (which I am actively working on through some interesting chiropractic techniques), the weight slowly creeps back on, with all the resultant physical and emotional yukkiness. If (I mean, when!) I get it figured out, I will let you know.
Take care,
Kathy

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WORKINGSTIFF 11/3/2011 8:35AM

    The story of the blind man in the Bible...does the man not thank Jesus and then go out and tell others? The other part to the story is that the man expresses much gratitude. He is given sight, something most of us take for granted.

When I feel down about my lot in life, I think about how much more I have been blessed with than most other people on the planet. Many other people right here in my town would love to have the life that I have. And I never forget that.

And you have a wise friend-what choice do we have but to accept what life brings? The big difference again is the attitude we assume with what comes. I truly believe that saying about life is 5 percent what happens to us, the other 95% is how we deal with what happens to us.

It's exciting, scary and challenging to break out of the prison we create for ourselves in our own minds. I hope you explore the endless boundaries...and accepting things as "fate" seems like a pretty passive way to go. Fate may provide an avenue, but I don't always have to take it.

Comment edited on: 11/3/2011 8:37:50 AM

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ERINBEAR1876 11/3/2011 8:12AM

    Very good blog, and very insightful. Sometimes when we get into a pity party, or woe is me, it is so hard to look outward to others who have it worse than us. It is so hard to accept what is handed to us in life.

"Project for a lifetime" Great way to look at it. You take care of yourself, and start breaking down those walls!

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One Mans Humor Is Another s Embarrassment

Monday, October 31, 2011

I am starting to discover that there is true wisdom in a bumper sticker I have seen over the years. Maybe you’ve seen it too. It simply says “Live Long Enough To Be An Embarrassment To Your Children.”

Late yesterday morning we were traveling home from a wedding in Wisconsin. Our daughter Maggie traveled with us to help cut her expenses which means mom and dad paid for gas and meals. We always stop at a cheese store close to the Wisconsin and Illinois border. Joan likes to browse at their craft section and I just like to browse. (13 year old cheese has an odor and taste all its own.) Maggie was standing in line to be waited on when two very polite young ladies came up behind me.

“Excuse me sir, are you standing in line?” They asked me.

“No I replied, I’m just standing here being handsome.” Then I grinned.

Maggie spun around and yelped out a “Dad!!! Go up front and wait for me.” She had this horrified look on her face. The two young ladies giggled. I tipped my hat and walked up front.

After we got in the car, she hurriedly told Joan what had just transpired. Joan kept reading the newspaper and really didn’t comment other than to say “Get used to it.” Maggie started the car and just kept shaking her head.

Live long enough to be an embarrassment to your children. It can really be loads of fun, LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMBELISLE 11/3/2011 12:28PM

    My dad was always flirting with women and getting all the hugs he could get. He even flirted with the nurses in the hospital and got hugs any time he went home. I firmly believe it was part of why he lived as long as he did with the cancer he had. Have fund embarrassing your children - one day they will appreciate the wisdom of your actions!

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MARCYNA 11/3/2011 6:30AM

    I bet you were looking handsome, lol

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SMOCKON 11/1/2011 4:55PM

    Haha! Funny how it's never embarrassing when we get to the register and fork over for whatever they want, though.

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SILLYHP1953 11/1/2011 4:22PM

    Too hilarious.

I can also embarrass my children, at least my youngest daughter who is 28. We were at a Zac Brown Band concert and I was standing up moving to the music and she grabbed my arm to pull me back down. I really couldn't believe it. So, I guess I'm living long enough to be an embarrassment!

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TRACEY5280 11/1/2011 1:23PM

    Love it!

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LYNMEINDERS 11/1/2011 3:46AM

    I love it...your so right...it is awesome to embarrass them......

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NASFKAB 11/1/2011 12:34AM

  Love embarrassing the kids

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KENDRACARROLL 10/31/2011 10:24PM

    YOu betcha :)
Nothing more fun than embarrassing the kids.

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CARTOONB 10/31/2011 10:23PM

    That is an awesome response! I love that you thought of it and that your daughter heard it.

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HDHAWK 10/31/2011 4:59PM

    Love it! If she was embarrassed, you've done your job!

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AJDOVER1 10/31/2011 3:59PM

    Aw, I was hoping you had done something REALLY embarassing, like, well, um.... Never mind.
emoticon

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MIZZSB 10/31/2011 3:25PM

    how cute!!
it made me laugh.. how old is Maggie??
If my dad would say that i wouldnt be embarrased.. not anymore LOL

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_AIYANNA_ 10/31/2011 3:17PM

    That was adorable!!! :)

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/31/2011 3:04PM

    ROLMBO!! I have embarrassed mine for years. He was quite shocked when he found out I could also like Lada Gaga. LOL.

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GEEMAWEST 10/31/2011 1:31PM

    John, please don't ever change! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLACKROSE_222 10/31/2011 12:54PM

    He he he... Thats perfect for my Monday Funny!

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KKINNEA 10/31/2011 12:30PM

    Love this!!

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HAPPYSOUL91 10/31/2011 12:06PM

    Love it, it is our little way to get back for all the times they have embarrassed us

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SANDYBRUNO 10/31/2011 11:40AM

    Luckily it doesn't take much to embarrass our kids.

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TRISTAROSE 10/31/2011 11:30AM

    emoticon

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PGNBRI 10/31/2011 11:10AM

    LOL!!

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SHERRYJVP 10/31/2011 11:04AM

    Love it. One day they will too.

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CMA444 10/31/2011 10:40AM

    Ha! Too funny!

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BEATLETOT 10/31/2011 10:12AM

    Heehee. I like it. When she's older, she will, too. =)

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 10/31/2011 10:05AM

    emoticon Good for you John!!!

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AMYSRUN4LIFE 10/31/2011 9:58AM

    That's awesome! My husband and I do our part...skipping through Kings Island arm in arm singing. (you should see how much 13 yr old "loves it". Lol)

emoticon emoticon

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NEEDTOLOSE100LB 10/31/2011 9:57AM

    Too funny. All you were doing was telling the truth! Have a great day, handsome!
L.

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ALLISON145 10/31/2011 9:48AM

    LOL Nice!

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JBJAKUBEK 10/31/2011 9:47AM

    great story! emoticon

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 10/31/2011 9:47AM

    Thanks for starting my day with humor.

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CORKY982 10/31/2011 9:34AM

  Lol - sounds like what my Dad does to me!

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I'm A Real Live Boy and Cell Phones

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


2

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 11/5/2011 3:26PM

    Thank goodness my youngest is 26, but my granddaughter has a cellphone, so I'm sure I'll hear about these things, too.

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HDHAWK 10/27/2011 6:58PM

    My school only goes up to 5th grade (10-11 yrs. old) and at least half the kids have phones. Most aren't smart phones but by middle and high school they are. My stepdaughter had one taken at her high school. Our teachers keep them if they see kids them. Some put them in their file cabinet for the day and pass them out when the kids go home. Just add it to the endless list of stuff we have to do every day.
I caught one of mine with a phone today. Hmmm, they just moved here a couple months ago. They have no car and no money. We've bought the child a new wardrobe and winter gear. I bought her head lice shampoo last week after calling her mom and finding out she couldn't afford to buy it. So today her 10 yr. old shows up with a phone. Kind of makes that helpful feeling lessen.

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RSTENNER 10/27/2011 2:58PM

    YEP JOHN, YOU ARE OLD, BUT, YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. FIRST, PHONES SHOULD BE LEFT AT HOME, OR IN A TEENAGER'S CAR, NOT IN THE SCHOOL OR CLASSROOM. CAN THERE JUST BE SOME RULES THAT ARE MADE AND ADHERED TO IN THESE SCHOOL SYSTEMS? OH DARN, TEENAGER, YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAY, TOUGH. LEAVE THE DANG PHONE HOME AND GO TO SCHOOL AND GET A EDUCATION SO YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE AND GET A DEGREE SO YOU CAN GET A GOOD JOB AND SUPPORT YOURSELF AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR WONDERFUL PARENTS SOMEDAY INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. LET'S GO BACK TO SOME OF THE MORALS OF THE FIFTY'S AND EVERYONE WILL BE BETTER OFF!

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NASFKAB 10/27/2011 12:23AM

  No comments here cant figure out why kids need expensive phones in school

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CARTOONB 10/26/2011 11:17PM

    Yep. You're old. LOL!

My kids have cell phones and they take them to school. However, they do not have smart phones. They text too much and probably don't pay attention enough. But they have consequences if they get caught using phones during class or if they lose their phones. What happened to your friend is unfortunate. Hope the kid learns something besides how to blame the system.

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SPARKLISE 10/26/2011 4:58PM

    Hey there pixelman in Pixelland (we could start something here) emoticon My daughter is 16,got her cell phone herself and if she loses it at school,it's her responsibility.
I agree that kids are sometimes way too young to have those phones,but i'm not the parent.
I'm sure some parents say I do things with my kids that they would never do,but that's life.
I am against that parent getting on the case of the teacher.
Teachers have it so hard now,it's ridiculous!
Love the blog.
fr:Pixellady! emoticon

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GIRANIMAL 10/26/2011 1:26PM

    I really don't understand exactly how or why, but I do think our priorities are rather screwed up, to say the least.

My cousin gave her youngest her first cell phone at SIX YEARS OLD. Enough said.

Her oldest, now 16, was jumped and beaten up for his phone on the bus home from school. Somehow a phone being stolen from a basket by an enterprising kid seems like a lesser concern. (He had an iPod stolen in the classroom too.) Seriously, do kids need these distractions at school? I understand parents feel safer being able to reach their children, but that becomes less of a sound argument when the kids are threatened and even hurt for their gadgets, because they and their "coolness" are just THAT important and coveted.

I guess I don't have any real answers -- just sounding off.
emoticon

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/26/2011 12:26PM

    My first question would be, why does a 13 yr needs a smart phone in the first place? I don't even own a smart phone and I'm a grown woman. (I know, it's a personal choice - blah, blah, blah. She's 13 for goodness sake let's keep it real!)
Phones don't belong in classrooms whether it be grade school, high school or college. As a side note: they don't belong in meeting. Plus, teachers should not be put in the position to police phones or keep track of them for the students either.




Comment edited on: 10/26/2011 12:30:00 PM

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GETTING_FIT44 10/26/2011 12:22PM

    I'm 18 and just graduated in May. I have the video stopped at 4 min and something seconds at the moment. First, 13 and a cell phone? I had friends who had one at 10. I didn't get one til I was 16 and even then it was a flip phone no internet no music, 100 min but unlimited text messaging. WHen I was 14 (on my 14th bday) my older brother who is now 23 gave me my ipod which was stolen within 2 months of me having it. It took 3 months to find the person that stole it who had been a friend, well "friend". After that I still took it with me and have not lost it since. My point is, it really was a lesson well learned. It helped me take better care of things no matter the price. I took care of that piece of crap phone and it lasted well beyond anyones expectation, I got an upgrade this past December because it was the end of the 2 yr contract, my upgrade was free but the phone is 200 bucks.My brother bought me my laptop about 2 years ago, because of me having my ipod stolen over 5 years ago, I have learned to take better care of everything to make it last only because I know that I won't be getting another one if something happens to it. Yes, I am VERY spioled by my brother.My saying is, "He was born first for a reason". Therefore when mom is 70 and needs help, well, he was born first for a reason!! haha :) I can honestly say it's up to the parents or siblings as to what to give but it's up that that child revieving it to take care of it. These days parents are handing out money at though it were candy, and that's wrong. No offense to the daughter, but she sorta deserves it, she should have put it in the locker (especially since the teacher takes it anyway), she wouldn't be in this mess. My truest opinion is: anyone under 16 really shouldn't have a phone. It's easy to convince a child to take bad photos or hand out a number to a hot guy when you don't know him and than be controlled all because of some stupid piece of technology. As parents they should realize they're in this as well.Back to the last 2 min.(Sorry this is so long).

I do agree, the mother...i just simply agree. As a nation maybe there should be (sadly) some ridiculous law against cell phones in high school/middle school.I know it was a distraction for me for 2 years. And now that I am in college, some teacher will actually mark down your grade if they see it or hear it while class is in session (hey, THAT might help).Some teachers don't care, and I have answered my texts in those classes but only if they are my sister whom is dealing with depression.Even then she knows I will only answer 1 because I have to pay attention and will certainly talk to her after class. Most days, I won't lie, I ignore the heck out of my phone.It stays on vibrate, and i get MANY texts or calls, I don't take it out if that's the case in any class.I'm not there to sit and text, I'm there to pay attenion..and I learned that from me being so distracted in high school.

My overall point to this nonsense comment is I hope she and her parents learn a very valuble lesson. Her parents may not know she really will learn from this, she may not.And if that's the case than she's probably doomed when she gets a laptom, a brand new iPod, or even her own flat screen tv.Knowing the schoolboard they'll probably say it's her own fault she should have followed the locker rule (schools make sure they aren't to blame from the very beginning) I know I seem contradicting especially since I do text and have texted in class, and am saying we shouldn't..but it's a choice, and we learn from them when something bad happens, but again. In the end I will know it was my fault from the beginning and deal with those consequences when they arrive (which I won't let them happen).

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MIZZSB 10/26/2011 10:32AM

    Hey John,

When i was in school we didnt have wire less phones i think, not even a computer!!. Ok that is 20+ years ago hihi
But i understand you, IF your friends bought the smart phone as a "only in emergency phone'.. why buy a smartphone??? a regular cell phone will do fine than.
My daughter is 2,5 years old, so i cant really say "my child will not get that".
In the old days we were fine without cell phones so why not now?
And i would say that my child would pay for it herself, if she wants a expensive item. 250 dollars is a lot of money...

So its not just you ;)

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A Community of One

Monday, October 24, 2011

I woke up this morning and it dawned on me that I have been part of Spark People for almost two years. I came here to lose weight. I'd tried everything else, I figured what the heck......... This WAS FREE!!! I lost a ton of weight, I hurt my legs and my back, regained a lot of the weight I lost, got depressed, ate a ton of ice cream, got re inspired and hopefully am back on track. What I've learned here in two years could fill a book, so I'll make an effort to be succinct.

I have learned most importantly that I am a community of one, and so are you. There is no other body type, like yours. There is no mental and emotional way of processing life, its events and its twists and turns like yours. When we look at a picture we may both see a cow but yours is a solid color while mine may be mottled. I learned that reading all these amazing success stories people write about can be motivating and then they can be deflating at the same time. Each of those people found a key and a voice inside of me yelled "Hey wait for me," only to find out an exercise program or a particular food or lack of it, didn't fit my life style, body type or age. I experienced set backs and wondered if I was equal to Mr or Ms "I lost 150 pounds."

As obese people we are often self conscious about how we look. We find a community of people who have shared our pain and difficulties and we rejoice. We see their success and we so want to be loved and accepted that we will damn near kill ourselves in the process of getting there. Our need to finally be accepted and integrated is so strong that we would defy our otherwise reasonable mind to do so.

I have learned that I forgot to stand straight and tall all by myself. I learned I am a community of one. There is no one like me and no one should be. I learned acceptance from many of you. Many of you reached out and extended your hand in friendship and while I was worried and concerned and all those attributes us people pleasers have I learned to take that hand and squeeze it in return.

I learned vulnerability can be a really scary thing and each of us guards ourselves so tightly as not for the world to see the true self we fight to hide.
As I won ,then lost, then became relatively mundane I lost friends here. Apparently I was not inspiring enough. and please John quit writing about your setbacks. I guess it means John I'd have to face my own. Send me a happy face goodie and life will be great.

If I began to name the people who loved me, stuck with me, became real friends, even though we may never meet, I'd leave someone out.

I have learned that I am a community of one, special, unique and deserving of health. I've learned its a long journey and that journey never ends. I've learned health is a process.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACEY5280 11/1/2011 1:29PM

    A blog is just that, your place, your victory, your struggle, whatever it may be. We come to read and on certain days we connect in thought and know we are not alone. Today, you struck a chord with me. I haven't been on my chat group for that very same reason. What do they "get" that I don't? It is a fluid journey and constantly changing. I think I'll just keep on going. Thanks John.

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WALKNLOVE 10/31/2011 7:53AM

    John, your story could have been my story today.BUT no matter what....we will NEVER EVER EVER give up! Thanks for being my spark friend in this journey!

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NEEDTOLOSE100LB 10/28/2011 11:22AM

    Yes, a community of one. We wouldn't want you any other way, at least those that stick with you through thick and thin. We have to learn to love ourselves at whatever point in life we are and work with what we have and what we are given. No use trying to follow someone else's footsteps, that train has already gone. We can, though, walk with them and take the occasional siding that helps us through what we are dealing with. Their sidings will be different, because each of us are different. Embrace who you are, because deep down inside you are just a big, huggable teddy bear. That doesn't mean you should just slack off and accept that you cannot change, improve, revolt...whatever you decide. Just keep moving forward, looking back only makes you miss what might have been. If you look forward, you can envision what can be and shoot for it.
Keep up the good work and forget about those who cannot accept that you are human. Surround yourself with those who think positive and help you to do the same. All the rest can be left back at the station...you ride YOUR train and keep chugging along.
L.

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NASFKAB 10/27/2011 12:11AM

  Great blog as usual

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/26/2011 2:29PM

    Ultimately your focus should be about you, John, and mine should be about me. We can share our humanity but we are here to work on and improve ourselves. So you haven't failed anyone, including yourself. Life is full of ups and downs and you will be back up soon and the fair weather friends will be right back. Your real friends will still be here and you will have the confidence of having weathered another major storm. Bent but not broken.

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GIRANIMAL 10/26/2011 1:03PM

    emoticon

I don't have much more to say. You covered it all here splendidly. emoticon

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SPARKLISE 10/25/2011 10:09PM

    I too lost friends because I am not losing any more.
I'm behind in my e-mails(I gave up and came to read blogs),and I haven't written a blog in a while and I find nobody really checks.
But that's ok,because it comes down to me,and anyway,you guys aren't real,you're just cyber pixels. emoticon
You are aren't you? emoticon

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SILLYHP1953 10/25/2011 12:41PM

    Mundane? I think not. But you can feel relatively mundane and I can feel that you're not. That's what this community of one is all about, right?
emoticon

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WORKINGSTIFF 10/25/2011 8:47AM

    Yes, we must always remember that each of us is unique and a community of one...

Thanks for the inspiration, as always.

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LYNMEINDERS 10/25/2011 1:00AM

    You are an awesome perason and amn amazing writer....
you never fail to inspire me....
you are so right....
i am certainly a community of one and don't like when peoiple see through my facade cause I think my facade is a good one....
it is however every now and then someone breaks through which is actually great....whether i like it or not....
walking this journey with you John...it's your journey and will take as long as it takes....
Thats one of the things that makes us unique....

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TRULYVISIBLE 10/25/2011 12:40AM

  You are a hell of a writer. That happens in the world of internet. People are here today and gone tomorrow. That is why I say I have internet friends and real life friends. Real life friends see more dimensions of you and in my opinion a stronger bond in formed.
David Viscott a well known psychologist now deceased said in the end we only have ourselves for the reasons you mentioned. We experience things unique onto ourselves. That is not a bad thing as long as you have a few close people in your life that will be there for you no matter what.

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CLOVER2 10/24/2011 11:47PM

    I have been inspired by your wisdom. That you share it with us is an incredible honor. And like others, setbacks are a part of being human and those who choose to turn their backs because you are in a rough patch, well they weren't very good SparkFriends now were they? I check your blogs regularly and I am always moved by them, like I said wisdom very profound.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARTOONB 10/24/2011 10:07PM

    I'm happy to know you and your community of one!

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1NEWPAM 10/24/2011 2:16PM

    Great blog, John. Please never quit writing about your setbacks. Those of us who also are human and have setbacks need to hear that others have them as well. I've been on here for a couple of years also, and I think I weigh more now than I did when I started. About 5 years ago, I lost 85 lbs and have gained back most of it. Such is life.

I think the important thing is not that I am perfection in loosing and maintaining that loss, but that I keep coming back and get and give support from people like you. I'll never reach perfection, but I'm learning every day, and I get so much more than weight loss advise from people like you. I'm a better person for having known you. Thank you



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ALLISON145 10/24/2011 1:17PM

    Admittedly I'm often a 'lurkey-lou' (get it? Haha!) but I always read your blogs and personally I find inspiration in the struggle. I have a hard time relating to people who lose 150 pounds by exercising twenty hours a week and never slipping up or even eating a cookie. It's the 'human' experiences shared by folks like you that keep me going and give me hope. Good on you John for getting back in the saddle. You've always stayed in the wagon, you just set the reigns down for a spell. :-)

Allison

Comment edited on: 10/24/2011 2:58:57 PM

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CMBELISLE 10/24/2011 12:39PM

    As they say, if your friends can't handle the down times, then they aren't really your friends. I don't always respond to your blogs and admit I don't always read them, but I do "check up" on you frequently. Nothing is simple and no two people will ever be the same, but we're all here for similar reasons - we want to be healthier - whether we lose weight or not. I've been on a plateau for over a year and I'd love to lose more weight, but right now I'm just happy that I'm pretty healthy - not perfect, but pretty good. Trying to do too much too fast either gets us hurt and/or burns us out, so I keep working at it slowly - one day at a time.

Hang in there - keep tracking and keep doing what you can - it may not be easy, but it is definitely worth it.

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KKINNEA 10/24/2011 12:22PM

    Agree!

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GOOFIERNU 10/24/2011 10:04AM

    Thanks for this today. I won't leave just because you've had set backs. Those are a part of life, and we all have to figure out how to deal with them. I do hope you're feeling some relief from your pain. emoticon

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SHERRYJVP 10/24/2011 9:58AM

    very good, very true..as always.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 10/24/2011 9:58AM

    You may be a community of one, but you are not alone. Never forget that. emoticon

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JSPIN74 10/24/2011 9:45AM

    emoticon

have a great week & even better year 3!

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TRISTAROSE 10/24/2011 8:32AM

    Good words of wisdom.

"If it's to be, it's up to me"

emoticon

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TERRIPAL1 10/24/2011 8:32AM

    Nice blog John , you're right we are all a community of one and only you can do it for you!
Thanks!

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HDHAWK 10/24/2011 8:23AM

    Support and accountability really does help, but at the end of the day I still have to eat the right food and move. I'm finally learning to do what works for me instead of trying to copy what worked for someone else. I can gain useful info from others, but I still have to come up with a plan that fits me and my lifestyle. Happy Monday!

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WIGIME 10/24/2011 8:19AM

    I agree and to sum it up: 'You are you' and it doesn't get any simpler than that.

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NASFKAB 10/24/2011 8:17AM

  Thoughtful log thanks

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Looking For What's Right

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The average salary in the National Basketball Association last year was 5.5 million dollars. Many made less, but many made more. Of the four major sports, baseball, basketball, football and hockey, basket all players are paid the most on average. They currently are in the midst of a labor dispute to improve their station in life. The people that own professional basketball teams are claiming they are going to go broke. It’s turned into a “he said, she said” sort of issue. The end result is no basketball. Enter Bryant Gumble.

Gumbel is a sports and news anchor. His credentials are impressive. He began his career hosting NFL Live on NBC and graduated to being a host of the Today show. From there he went to HBO where he now hosts a show called Real Sports. I have always found Gumbel to be thoughtful, intelligent and provoking. Until yesterday. Yesterday Gumbel compared NBA commissioner David Stern to a “plantation overseer.” The inference is obvious. A majority of NBA players’ are African American as is Gumbel. I can’t get my hands around multi-millionaires being compared to slaves. If that is slavery I know a lot of folks that would gladly take their jobs.

I can get my hands around real and true discrimination. It indeed exists. Many people are denied housing, jobs and education because of the color of their skin, their gender, their nationality, their religion, their sexual orientation or a disability. Our world’s cities are crowded with people who are denied basic civil rights and adequate medical care. The color of your skin still goes a long way in determining what people thing about you. Many people fall in love with each other and aren’t allowed to marry or enjoy benefits married couples enjoy because they don’t fit someone’s notion of what marriage is or should be. Women are still treated as if they are second class citizens in what we tout as the most enlightened nation in the world. We live in a world where many people will go to bed hungry, without jobs and without homes tonight and someone has the nerve to tell me the highest paid sports group in America is being treated like slaves? Do we stereotype, of course we do. Most basketball players are perceived as dope smoking, gun toting gang members. I don’t think that’s right either. The average American made 27,000 dollars last year. Many Americans exist below the poverty level.

We don’t want to look at any of those things. We’d rather buy our NFL Sunday ticket, our NBA League Pass and sit in front of our televisions and grow numb to what’s going on in our own neighborhoods. We look to the talking heads, on the right, left or in the middle to define life for us as a society. They know best or so we seem to think. I am as guilty of this group think as anyone else. I’d rather push the growing reality that we are living on a sinking ship somewhere into the back of mind and blame someone else’s misfortune on a racial, ethnic or gender stereotype. I can take consolation that as a friend once said “I’m 18, free and white.” I excuse away another’s suffering and misery because they don’t fit the profile.

Racism and discrimination in this global community is alive and well but not in the NBA. While Gumbel’s assertions were ludicrous I owe him a debt of thanks. It made me realize just how long I’d dozed off from the real issues in our communities and world, the equality of EVERYONE, not a pampered few. This blog may cost me a few friends. It may create a bit of backlash. I can’t seem to find a way to care about any of that. We live in a politically correct; don’t offend anyone world and we have become so scared of what’s right and what’s wrong that we simply shut up.

5.5 million dollar a year in wages and your being treated like a slave…………… Really?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACEY5280 11/1/2011 1:32PM

    Bravo! I hadn't heard that comment. Wow.

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1NEWPAM 10/24/2011 1:53AM

    Wow. I hadn't heard this comment. I, too, am surprised at Bryant Gumball. I thought more of him than this. Too bad. He certainly has the right to express his opinion, but I am disappointed. I thought he was bigger than that. Bummer. Good blog, John.

Comment edited on: 10/24/2011 2:00:38 AM

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SHELLYKOCH1 10/23/2011 8:21PM

    Great job in speaking on a topic that is too often over looked.

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TRULYVISIBLE 10/23/2011 7:00PM

  This is a great blog and I have so much respect for you for speaking your mind. I agree it is ludicrous to compare it to slavery. But that comment probable got him quoted more than once in national newspapers and magazines. As they say in Hollywood, there is no such thing as bad publicity. That I find unfortunate.

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LYNMEINDERS 10/23/2011 5:28AM

    Amen & Amen...brilliant

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GEEMAWEST 10/21/2011 10:47PM

    I could go on and on about this blog. We have some really nasty discrimination going on at my work place right now and it really ticks me off. I feel like I'm in middle school sometimes.

I am actually very surprised that Bryant Gumbel said that. I really thought her was better than that. Very disappointing.


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BTINTERNET 10/21/2011 7:11PM

    Well said, as always. I remember having similar thoughts when one of the Washington Redskins (I want to say it was Dexter Manley, but not 100% sure) allowed during strike negotiations as how he needed to make however-many-gajillion dollars it was *per game* because he had a standard of living to maintain.

I'm sure much of the rest of the world would love to have such problems. Thanks for the reminder to pay attention.

(And I'm with GIRANIMAL, I confess - I have less than no use for professional sports as they are played in America....)

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/21/2011 5:33PM

    I totally agree with you. The people on both side are ridiculous actually. The players are paid too much and the owners make too much money off of them. It's vulgar when you think that workers who save people's lives often work for $10 an hour. Sickening.

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VISHYT 10/21/2011 4:26PM

    Regarding the negotiations, I guess they are employing rhetoric instead of dialogue- they're not coming to any understanding, but trying to win at another's expense. However, I think that all employees have the right to negotiate their salary. Whatever they earn has to last them a lifetime, and big business certainly isn't losing out by paying them more. The CEOs are certainly earning millions, I would say.

As for the main point of your post, I agree! Discrimination and prejudice are unacceptable and symptomatic of ignorance. Ordinary people need to take a stand against it. Thanks for sharing your opinion and reminding people that we need to look around and be present, be mindful of what is happening in the Iives of those around us.

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CMBELISLE 10/21/2011 3:50PM

    Discrimination and bigotry work both ways - I would say that Bryant Gumble is a bigot. Many people are afraid of offending someone by calling out people who scream racial discrimination but are just as racist as those they accuse. Living in the South as I do, I find that there are lots of racists of all colors.

In the realm of politically correct (I'll probably piss off some people for what I'm about to say too) - I despise the terms African-American, Asian-American, or any other hyphenated American for those who are born in the United States. Why am I not English/Scottish/Irish/French-Ameri
can? In the United States, dual citizenship is not allowed after the age of 18 (if I remember my political science class correctly). The only African-Americans I know are my neighbor across the street who is blonde and blue-eyed with pale skin, and my co-worker who is pale-skinned with dark hair and eyes - they were actually born in Africa.

Comment edited on: 10/21/2011 3:51:02 PM

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GIRANIMAL 10/21/2011 11:43AM

    I think I've let on about my inherent dislike for professional sports before. FYI, this kind of thing is why. I just find it positively ludicrous that people get paid more than then GDP of some small nations to play a game, and then gripe about how unfairly they are treated. Therefore I have never been at all interested in paying them any attention or certainly my money.

Yes, this assertion has made many a rabid sports fan really angry! But oh well...to each his own, except when making poorly constructed and inappropriate slavery references. There used to be something called sports "journalism," for crying out loud.

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CARTOONB 10/20/2011 10:57PM

    Tom from the Bob and Tom show has stated many times that the NBA would be much more entertaining to watch if they only paid the winning team. They'd certainly work harder for it! Or cheat more. emoticon

Good blog. Great reminders.

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NASFKAB 10/20/2011 8:10PM

  Thanks for putting things in perspective. There is all sorts of discrimination see it all the time

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GOOFIERNU 10/20/2011 6:31PM

    Way back when, I was trying to get a computer tech job. I walked in to the place, resume in hand, and the guys behind the counter said, "Oh, the position has been filled."
Two places did this. I had the hubby call them and they told him, "Oh, come on in, we'd LOVE to meet you!"
Just because I was blond and had boobs, they didn't want me working there.

"equality of EVERYONE" sure would be nice. (sigh...)

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ANATASHIKI 10/20/2011 4:27PM

    are you serious about women treated like second class citizens? it never happened to me here . it never happened to anyone I know. sure , women involved in politics would probably complain that there are too few women there , but that's because most women aren't interested.

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CIVIAV 10/20/2011 4:25PM

    No! But then politically correct is a very ugly place to live. I've never done it well and yet I cannot say I am numb, I am so upset I cannot bear it.
It will be interesting to see what happens as Bush enters Canada and whether we 'nice Canadians' follow politically correct or stand up and tell him it doesn't cut it!

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HDHAWK 10/20/2011 4:18PM

    Sign me up for that paycheck!

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SILLYHP1953 10/20/2011 4:09PM

    VERY well said!

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PGNBRI 10/20/2011 3:56PM

    Well Said!

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