Friday, August 12, 2011
It’s okay to admit it. You’ll have lots of company when you do and you’ll find you are not alone. Some days I’m leading the pack. Go ahead!!!
It neatly and succinctly points out all of our soft and weak spots and I have never been able to write a story, poem, or song that sings the praises of accountability. I’ve never heard anyone whisper behind my back “Did you know he’s REALLY accountable?” It sucks. Every morning you get out of bed and you look out over your day and you either sigh or grunt. Accountability can be like a hundred pound stone in your back pack. It weighs you down. It makes you stumble and fall. No one is ever praised for being accountable. Has your boss ever called you into their office and told you that you are an accountable person? Usually we are told the exact opposite; we need to become more accountable for our thoughts words and actions.
It sucks. It sucks because we know those talking heads and speaking points so neatly displayed on a Power Point presentation are absolutely right. We falter, we fail, we get lost because we rarely hold ourselves accountable. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe you are great at holding yourself accountable. If so, could you write and tell me how you do it, long term?
With accountability comes goal setting. In all honesty I approach goal setting as a “set it and forget it,” endeavor. I look at all the amazing and marvelous goals I’ve set for myself and all the goals I’ve given up on because of………. Well go ahead and fill in the blank. I’ve got a million reasons/slash excuses.
So here is what I’ve learned in convincing myself I am worth all this emotional and physical pain I am enduring: World peace goals don’t work. Everyone want world peace, but how do you get it? Everyone wants to be healthy, slender and active……….
I’m reverting to simplicity. I’ll weigh myself on Monday’s My first very reachable and accountable goal is to lose ten pounds. That’s it for right now. I believe I can even find a silver accountability lining in losing ten pounds. It sort of takes the heat off. I AM worth the effort that’s required to do so. So like it or not, here we go once again in fond, fond hope of getting the scale moving in the right direction.
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
They say that Abraham Lincoln was often ridiculed about his physical appearance. So, often, in fact that he refused to ever look in a mirror for more than a few seconds. Throughout his political career his opponents used Lincoln’s physical stature as a campaign tool against him. One author went to the point when he described Lincoln as saying “there was no physical attribute about him, at all, that was appealing.” I read last night that Lincoln confided in his wife that those verbal barbs stung and hurt him, even when he used his famous humor to deflect them.
Later in life as president of the United States Lincoln became frustrated with a number of his commanders during the Civil War. He wrote scathing letters to them and then promptly slid them in his desk drawer, never to be mailed. When he removed an officer from command he did it privately, professionally and always found some facet of the man’s performance to praise, despite the fact the commander had not performed up to speed at all times.
Lincoln was criticized in the papers and in the halls of Congress for being too easy or soft on people. He was lambasted for letting his opponents off the hook without tearing them down. Lincoln as we say today “had been there, and done that.”
I thought about this while I drifted off to sleep last night. I thought about how I felt when people made remarks or comments about my weight or my build. I thought about how much it hurt me to hear those things, how it stung. I thought about how it felt to be on the outside looking in. I thought about Lincoln.
We don’t often subscribe those raw human emotions to our historical heroes. It shocked me a bit to read Lincoln was offended by those remarks. But I realized that if he hadn’t gone through those hurtful times he never would have grasped an understanding of what other people felt when in the same situation. It’s that part of Lincoln, the kind and wise leader, we always recall, never everything he went through to reach them. Those traits were only fashioned in a furnace of pain.
I don’t like it when people say thing about me that are mean or cruel, but maybe, moving forward, like Lincoln I’ll have an understanding of how what I say and do affect other people. I sure hope so.
Monday, August 08, 2011
It crept up on me this year. I guess the older you get the more you have on your mind and then suddenly one day there is a clue and you feel a bit cheated. You really wish someone had been giving you an update on a regular basis, like those apps you can get for your phone that tell you about bad weather or your bank balance. It came crashing down with a large “thud” last week when I went to Wal-Mart to buy pool chemicals. After playing a cross between Where’s Waldo and Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego, I found them tucked away in a corner near the lawn and garden department. It was just yesterday, wasn’t it, that they had their own aisle, festooned with all sorts of floaties and the like? Now the chlorine tablets were consigned to a bottom shelf in a dark corner.
Our neighbor, Vanessa, has been going back and forth for the last week or so and has that determined look on her face when she waves as she motors past. She teaches English at one of our middle schools. It’s a good sign things are gearing up when I see her running errands. School starts tomorrow.
I’ve been so busy fighting disaster and trying to stay above water that I almost missed the sign my birthday sent. It can really be a challenge when you were born in the hottest month of the year. Your gatherings are around the pool and you pray it doesn’t rain. No one feels much like eating so you put in a DVD and everyone watches a movie.
It was cooler this morning and I watched the buses make their practice runs on my street. Tomorrow there will be kids huddled on corners, parents snapping photos of the Sammy or Sally’s first day ever. College football begins in earnest and the NFL begins preseason play on Saturday.
Wasn’t it just yesterday we were buying sunscreen and insect repellent? Hadn’t we just aired out the tent and made sure there were no rips and tears before we set off on a season of camping? Gosh, I just opened the pool last week, didn’t I and why were we having such a big barbecue only a few days after the Fourth of July?
Summer slipped through my fingers again. Like a friend you plan on calling for weeks and weeks, summer left without a forwarding address. Oh, it’s no cooler, and I’m not breaking out the fall and winter clothes just yet, but all the events that mark her slow withdrawal are clamoring for my attention. I think about my summer “to-do” list and vow that next year I’ll complete it.
Thank goodness there is always a next year.
Get An Email Alert Each Time JOHNTJ1 Posts