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JOHNTJ1's Recent Blog Entries

Looking For A Life Coach or Personal Trainer? Read This First

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I am old enough to remember door-to-door sales men. I remember them opening their display case and showing my mom all sorts of wonders which were guaranteed to make household chores simple and easy and, giving the user more time for leisure. Some, such as Fuller Brush and Hoover were credible and still exist today. Others weren’t. Their products promised amazing things, cost a lot of money and like the sales man who knocked on your door, were gone rather quickly or didn’t work effectively.

Yesterday I was toweling off after my shower in the gym when I ran across “Chuck.” Chuck had paid for a full page add in one of our newspapers last week announcing he was now offering “Life Coaching Services.” Chuck is a financial planner by trade and I might add a rather good one. I was interested to “talk shop” with him and when I walked up to him I asked him where he received his certification for coaching from. In return I got a blank stare and a “Huh?” Chuck wasn’t aware you needed to be certified. There is no law that says you have to be certified but one of the reasons credible coaches get a bad rap is because of people like Chuck. Chuck told me he decided to be a coach because his wife told him he was a good listener ; he wanted to expand his business and finally he had just completed his first triathlon and he felt he could inspire people. There is nothing wrong with any of these motivations, but, to me, it’s sort of like working on a car engine without any tools.

Coaching and training are growing fields. Used properly, by a certified coach or trainer, they are a good augment, for a person’s development in the area they feel they need the most growth in. I drove around yesterday thinking of a few ways you can gauge whether a coach or trainer for that matter is the real deal and not someone whose wife loves them. (My wife really loves me, but that’s not the reason I’m a good coach.)

1. Check them out. I always offer a perspective client a copy of my certification along with a list of people who will agree to attest to my credibility and my value as a coach. My certification came from a group called Fowler-Wainwright. Barry Fowler was the founder of the Sylvan Learning System and Barbara Wainwright is the past president and board member of the American Institute of Professional Coaches. They are both credible people. My initial certification was twenty hours of training. I am required to take additional classes and eventually be certified as a master coach. This process takes two years. I am a big fan of Tony Robbins but reading one of his books doesn’t qualify me to be a coach.

2. One size doesn’t fit all. I have over twenty years’ experience in all areas of human resource management and an additional eighteen years’ experience in operations management. My area of expertise is career counseling and I provide a unique approach. I believe that you can’t reach your career goals until you attain some semblance of balance in your entire life. It’s a holistic approach and caused one client to ask tongue in cheek. “Are we going to take our clothes off, go out in the desert and sit under a pyramid?” I do not believe I can help everyone with everything. There are coached who, like me, specialize in certain areas of development. I really love helping people reach their goals in life and a very large part of that is making sure you have a rich and fulfilling career.


3. “Show me the money.” Find out what you are paying and what you are getting in return. I won’t accept a client until we have broken bread and talked for two hours. If you have an aversion to eating lunch and can’t find two hours in your schedule I’ll ask you to question how serious you are about developing. This, as is personal training, hard work, and it costs money and if you don’t have your head fastened on straight to begin with, you might as well put your money in the bank where hopefully it will be safe. I promise clients I will work hard with them but in the end it’s up to them how much effort they put into improvement. I don’t charge for the two hour evaluation. It’s part of my core belief system that I should respect and honor you. Making sure we are a good fit is one way of doing that. I used the reverse method when I chose a personal trainer. I made sure the trainer and I synced. Jen and I have worked together for a little over a year and we both have the same set of expectations.

You can take this template and apply it to just about anything. I just hate to see people invest a lot of time, money and hard work in something and end up being disappointed.

Just wanted to share.

Oh Yeah……….. The scale says I dropped five pounds this week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 10/12/2011 11:24AM

    I know I'm not ready for a coach yet, still too afraid of my fears, of facing them, of seriously and consistently facing them. But I'm getting there. And you would sure be the coach I'd want if I was ready for one.

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NASFKAB 8/25/2011 12:37AM

  Thanks

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/24/2011 3:08PM

    Thanks for those tips John and congrats on the 5 lbs. Pretty cool!

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SNOWANGELDIVA 8/24/2011 1:16PM

    WOO HOO! on your -5lbs!! ViCtOrY!
I had no idea that you had expertise in Career Counseling!
I LOVE knowing more about you!



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SUSUSUZZZIE 8/23/2011 11:42PM

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom gained from experience.

And congrats on your weight loss!
emoticon emoticon

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CARTOONB 8/23/2011 11:42PM

    Great advice. It's always best to know what you're buying.

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SUGARBABY60 8/23/2011 11:26PM

    Well done and great advise thank you

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GEEMAWEST 8/23/2011 11:08PM

    Thanks for the great advice, John. It's much appreciated.

emoticonon the weight loss!! emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/23/2011 10:20PM

    This blog tickled my funny bone. I've encountered it often in my field with people who are "almost a nurse". I liken it to almost being pregnant. Either you are pregnant or you aren't. You are a nurse or your aren't. Almost doesn't get it. There's a reason that doctors display their credentials on their walls. My last employer had the nurses post theirs as well along side his. He wanted every patient to know they were in the best of hands at all times. The same should apply to life coaches and personal trainers.

Congrats on the weight loss!!

Comment edited on: 8/23/2011 10:21:11 PM

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HDHAWK 8/23/2011 5:59PM

    emoticon John!

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CIVIAV 8/23/2011 5:08PM

    5! And I'm with you and a coach to boot. Applying for certification through the ICF after training with CoachU. 20 years in employment services. I always knew we shared something special and you are special.

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HAPPYSOUL91 8/23/2011 1:48PM

    Woo hoo on the weight loss. You raise excellent points of life coaching.

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LISAINSEATTLE 8/23/2011 1:46PM

    Great Advice Thanks!

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GIRANIMAL 8/23/2011 1:06PM

    For some reason, this made me think of all the times my BF's brother has asked me, in reference to my job as a copy editor, "Isn't that what spell check is for?" Grrr. There certainly is a lot of misperception about what it takes to do certain jobs well. I love animals, but I am under no delusion that I can just decide to be a vet tomorrow. emoticon

emoticon A five-pound loss in a week calls for celebration, my dear friend! Boy, when you get back on track, you really do it well. emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/23/2011 1:06:39 PM

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GETFIT2LIVE 8/23/2011 1:01PM

    Great advice, John. Just because I'm a good listener (I am) and care about people does not qualify me to be a coach any more than because I run (slowly, ever so slowly) I'm now qualified to train someone else how to run. Not so much. Congratulations on the loss; nice to see the scale moving in the right direction for you!

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-CORAL- 8/23/2011 12:28PM

    Good advice and great job on your weight loss!

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GRACIOUSGRAPE 8/23/2011 11:39AM

    Great advice, John, and whooohoooo for the 5 pound weight loss!

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CMA444 8/23/2011 11:33AM

    Amen brother! I always hear these people on the tv and at the gym "promising" all the results. Truth is, if your heart isn't into you will NOT see any results. Then you'll feel like you wasted your money. It is all about what you put into it. It is not a bad thing to have a life coach or personal trainer at all. They can only give you what they can give you and then it is your turn to take and run with it.

And congrats on the great loss this week!

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MARCYNA 8/23/2011 11:32AM

    Wow...thanks it was fascinating, your job seems so fascinating as it seems a wonderful life-enhancing career....Your last 5 pounds lost should be celebrated!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/23/2011 11:33:35 AM

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KKINNEA 8/23/2011 10:07AM

    Awesome, as usual. You are a principled kind of guy!

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BOSOXGYRL33 8/23/2011 10:04AM

    Thank you for this blog! I am one of those people who didn't know anything about credentialing for coaches. I am well armed and prepared now.

BTW, great job on the loss this week!

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QUIKSYLVER 8/23/2011 9:47AM

    Congrats on the loss!

Your blog made me laugh, because I ran across an ad the other day about how I could become a "certified" life coach for $399 and a 16 hour class. I'm not sure 16 hours of training would make anyone a "certified" life coach! emoticon

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ANATASHIKI 8/23/2011 9:33AM

    congrats for the 5 pounds! thanks for the advice . doesn't really applies to me , at least yet , coaching is non existent here . and I almost never met a person who could teach me something better than a book. with 2 or 3 exceptions . but I keep an open eye and still search emoticon

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IFDEEVARUNS2 8/23/2011 9:27AM

    Way to go! emoticon

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Explaining, Life, Love, Humor and Dr. Phil

Friday, August 19, 2011

I am going to do my best not to make this be a rant. It’s not my intention.

Since I’ve changed my wall paper on my Spark Page I’ve received more than a few Spark Mails telling me some people find it offensive and derogatory. They questioned my self-esteem and my opinion of myself because I used the “F” word ----- FAT. If you are not familiar, I changed my wall paper to a photo of Doctor Phil pointing a finger out ward. The caption reads – “You’re fat. Don’t try to sugar coat it or you’ll eat that too!” To be honest, when I first saw it I burst out laughing. To be completely honest I thought he hit the nail right on the head as it related to me.

Yes, I know, obesity is no laughing matter, but sometimes the rationalization and justification I employee to eating things that aren’t healthy for me can be hilarious. At one point in time I sincerely believed that you could eat all the fast food in the world just as long as you had a diet soft drink with it. You see, I believed diet soft drinks had magical and mystical properties that melted all the fat and calories away from that Big Mac and large fries. Misinformed, you bet, but folks I challenge each of you to tell me you never had any such upside down thinking. And I challenge you to tell me that it really didn’t affect your self-esteem. It may have served, as it did to me, a very gentle reminder that things in my life needed to change. And somewhere deep down inside you even may have laughed.

I love me. I’d love there to be less of me and between you and I wish to heck I hadn’t lost my hair, but I love me. I am a people pleaser through and through. I worry what other folks think all the time, otherwise I wouldn’t have written this blog, but when I look at me every morning I am very glad I am John’s best friend. If I had no hills to climb, no pains to endure and no challenges before me, well life would be uber dull, no?

Laughter is a very powerful weapon. When I laugh at myself before anyone else has the opportunity to do so, I take all the ammo from their guns. I spoil their fun. The difference is I laugh from a source of love, from an “Oh John, what have you done now…….” Rather than from a mean or vindictive position that’s meant to hurt. I have walked into meetings with people just waiting to pounce on me for an error or mistake and when they point it out I’ll say something like “Boy I’ll bet I couldn’t do that again, even if I tried,” or “It takes REAL talent to mess up that much.” The room breaks out in mild laughter. The person who was getting ready to filet me is just sitting there fuming. I DID mess up and I acknowledged it with grace and humor and it shows I am human.

Obesity is no laughing matter, but life sometimes is, even at the most solemn moments. Pam worked with me for close to ten years, during that time her oldest son was diagnosed with a rare type of bone cancer in his leg. Lots of pain, physical and emotional, for Pam, her son and her family. She came in to work one morning closed my office door and just grinned. She told me how she and her sister had gone to see a serious and dramatic movie over the weekend. During a scene, where the main character received some bad news she and her sister broke out in uncontrollable laughter. She told me after all the family had been through the previous year she couldn’t do anything but laugh at a dramatic interpretation of life. She and her sister were asked to leave the movie theater. She went on to tell me it was best things she’d felt in ages.

That wallpaper really hits home to me. For me it’s the gospel truth and it has nothing to do with how I feel about myself, my life or my place in it. Rather, I think, it’s a testament to my own confidence. It’s sort of like looking in the mirror, and saying lightly “Oh look, another zit.” No worries.

I’ll end by saying I hope you don’t take this as a rant or are offended by it. (Always the freakin’ people pleaser, aint I) That wallpaper gives me the necessary motivation to do the right thing for John, every morning. Health is serious but I am always open to any method necessary to help make the journey a pleasant one.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 10/12/2011 11:18AM

    I like Dr. Phil because I like straight-forward to the point people, and I like you!

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PINETREEGIRL 9/8/2011 1:10AM

    John,
I thought your wallpaper was FUNNY. And if we cannot laugh at ourselves...we deny ourselves the richest material available.
All my best to you.
Love,
PTG

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SMOCKON 9/6/2011 3:24PM

    I think Dr. Phil gets under so many people's skin because he's right so much of the time. Notice I didn't say ALL the time. I guess I'm a straightforward kind of person, and I appreciate his straightforward approach to problems.

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BRYLIA 8/25/2011 10:29AM

    GO for it... I like it because it is pretty funny and to the point

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NASFKAB 8/25/2011 12:35AM

  Great post

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NEEDTOLOSE100LB 8/24/2011 9:10AM

    John, I agree with you on the motivating factor of the Dr Phil wallpaper. I thought it was awesome and had to return to your page so I could read the caption. I, like you have weight to lose and baggage that goes along with that. I am a people pleaser and have been reminded time and again by a very close friend that I don't have to please everyone else all the time. It is a hard habit to break, but I am working on a balance. And, I am working at balancing the scale a little bit lighter every week. No, I am not perfect at it, but I am getting there.
Thank you for being one of those who, gently, but directly motivates me to make better decisions in my life so that I can have the life that I want and can enjoy it.
And, no matter how you look at it, a rose is a rose and fat is fat...might was well own it so that you can get rid of it! Laurie

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MARCYNA 8/22/2011 1:44PM

    Funny but I'm sure it's only a matter of time and we'll do away with it!!!!

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PATTILYNN224 8/22/2011 7:59AM

    I agree with Happysoul91. It's your page.

Sparkpeople is turning into a society of people walking around on egg shells trying not to offend anyone.

This site is used to journal emotions, opinions, victories and successes, failures and offer thought, motivation and encouragement to others in need.

If someone truly can't get past a word or picture that may offend them. They should delete the sparkfriend and not revisit the page.

John you can't please everyone. Your blogs are funny, honest and motivational. Please don't stop or edit everything you want to say. It will take away from your true feelings and honest journaling. That would not be good for you or us.

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MSCANELA 8/20/2011 11:30PM

  I totally agree with you on this! Nothing wrong with the the word FAT. Fat is an accurate description of me and other obese people. It is what it is, don't sugar coat it! We have a choice as fat people, either we chose to embrace and remain this way or get help and make the changes required to not be fat. The word FAT is not derogatory neither...again...it is what it is. Reality bites!

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HEALTHYME229 8/20/2011 12:59PM

    Whenever I find myself whining because things aren't going my way (especially when I know my own choices are the problem) - I think of Dr. Phil's no-BS line - "How's that working for ya?" Cuts to the core of my excuses and makes me re-think my decisions.

Despite the strong tendency to people please - good for you not changing your wallpaper. It seems I keep seeing more and more where people are critical or judgemental of other people's words or pages because what they are doing is deemed wrong or offensive or whatever. Just because how X or Y or Z chooses to build their plans and find motivation doesn't work for you doesn't mean it is wrong. If you don't like it, move along.

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HDHAWK 8/20/2011 10:47AM

    Dr. Phil cuts through the bs we try to tell ourselves and gets straight to the point. Nothing wrong with that.

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STUCKER28 8/20/2011 10:13AM

    I find it rather funny. I am not offended at all by your wallpaper. It is honest and we all have a problem with food - or we wouldnt be here! Some find it hard to accept the truth. I embrace it! Great wallpaper!

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GRAMLORI 8/20/2011 9:38AM

    There are many times in your life when you either laugh or you cry.....but it's much better to laugh!

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ZURDTA- 8/20/2011 5:55AM

    Hey, it's your page and it is there to motivate YOU. It made me laugh too.

Upside down thinking... yeah... I thought flapjacks were healthy (oats right?) My mother thought that if you nibbled at something throughout the day, or ate standing up it didn't count. My boyfriend thinks any sort of chicken meal or anything involving rice is healthy.

We all need a wake up call... for some people their weight is a very serious issue and for all the love and support on here which is needed, there are times for tough talk and a reality check.

So, yeah, I laughed at the wallpaper... but I also got the message.

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LYNMEINDERS 8/20/2011 4:47AM

    I like your wall paper...
I find it a reminder of the journey that we are all on....
So,me people get easily offended and like something to moan about....

We need to use everything that helps us on our journey....

You always write a great blog and lets be real....we are allowed to rant on our blogs...they are our blogs.....

Sadly we never please all of the people all of the time.....and I think it will always be like that....
Bless you John...
you are superb....

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CARTOONB 8/20/2011 12:41AM

    I laughed too! But...you're trying not to care what I think, right? emoticon

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NASFKAB 8/20/2011 12:13AM

  Do what you think is right its your life

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HAPPYSOUL91 8/19/2011 9:44PM

    If you liked the wallpaper ....put it back, it is your sparkpage!

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MIZZSB 8/19/2011 4:48PM

    the first time i saw it i was "what the hell??" ... but i am used to it now LOL..
If this is for you that do it!!
and dont please so much... i do too and it got me in some problems now...

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SUSUSUZZZIE 8/19/2011 3:37PM

    I love your wallpaper and it IS funny. I am fat and that's why I ended up here. I need to be able to call it like it is to accept it to be able to move on with addressing it. And laughing about it just makes the journey a little more fun. I've punished myself enough and it's time to laugh more!

Thanks for posting your wallpaper and your blog!
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NOMORESTALLING 8/19/2011 2:40PM

    AH POX ON THE PSSEMISTIC OPINIONS IF IT KEEPS YOU MOTIVARTED AND ON TRACK THEN THEN THAT'S WHAT WORKS FOR YOU JOHN.
AND PHSHAW AND SHAME ON THE CRITICS.
IT'S NOT IMMORAL ILLEGAL OR LIFE THREATENING GET OVER IT PEOPLE.

Comment edited on: 8/19/2011 2:41:57 PM

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/19/2011 12:56PM

    I loved the wallpaper when it popped up. It made me laugh and Lord knows, I need all the laughter I can get right now. And, it's a very Dr. Phil thing to say. I love it and am glad you put it up there. Laughter is really good medicine.

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WALKAWAY 8/19/2011 12:55PM

    I laughed when I saw the wallpaper. We have to have a sense of humor in this life, cause if we didn't we'd all be crying our eyes out.

And you are so right when you said "If I had no hills to climb, no pains to endure and no challenges before me, well life would be uber dull, no?" Although I would take a dull day every now and then. emoticon

Have a blessed day.

Addie

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WEIGHTWATCHER72 8/19/2011 12:40PM

    Love the wallpaper! Good reality check! :)

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BLUEANGELLK 8/19/2011 11:35AM

    I saw the wall paper first and I laughed and I though about stealing it. We all need to laugh at ourselves, especially when we realize that we have been operating under upside down thinking. You sound like the kind of person who I would like to have around. One who can laugh with people and laugh at themselves without diminishing themselves. Although I don't like Dr. Phil, I love the wallpaper. Keep it up and forget the naysayers, they haven't yet reached a point where they can laugh at themselves.

Keep up the hard work!

P.S. I use the F-word (fat) to describe me because that is what I am. It is the sad truth and as much as I'd like to use another word, it just sugarcoats the truth. Hmm. I think I heard that somewhere recently....LOL!!!

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QUIKSYLVER 8/19/2011 11:25AM

    I love Dr. Phil for the fact that he is not afraid to be blunt and hurt feelings. I don't watch his show because I can't stand to watch the pity-party, poor-me victimization that goes on from the participants. I think your background is truth, and so many people "can't handle the truth," to butcher a famous movie quote.

Do what you need to do. This page is all about you and what you need, ultimately.

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KKINNEA 8/19/2011 11:18AM

    Some people...I think the image is hilarious and I would rather gently point my own flaws out to myself in this way the way you diffuse situations in your blog above. Thanks for being you and doing what you do.

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KOPSBABY 8/19/2011 10:59AM

    Well said. Keep the background. It's whatever works for YOU that will get you to where you're going.

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SHARONKUME 8/19/2011 10:51AM

  I LOVE this wallpaper. Makes me crack up everytime I see it. There's just something about Dr. Phil. He just hits the nail on the head. You are not "big boned". You are not "heavy". You're fat! Now that you've admitted that, do something if you don't like it. I want to find a copy for myself.

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SPARKLISE 8/19/2011 10:50AM

    I found it funny when i first read it because it is the truth.
I would do that!
I am fat, and at 230lbs,I can't really hide it.
Its not a tragedy,and I'm working on losing weight,so I try to see the humour in it sometimes.
It's better than crying about it! emoticon

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ANATASHIKI 8/19/2011 10:38AM

    I saw the wall paper before and it's funny . fat shouldn't be an insult . nobody feels offended if he's told "you're tall" or "you're blonde"( all right, this might a problem emoticon) . I think something's wrong with people's mentality there. I had the bad luck to grow up as an obese child in a country where almost nobody else was like that. we were 4 or 5 fat kids in the whole town. yes , I was bullied by the guys at school . but that was all , no one else. nobody thought I'm lazy , less intelligent than the others( actually I was the best in my small town), nobody thought I won't work because I'm fat, I wasn't payed less or all kind of unbelievable things I hear. they all said omg poor girl , she's trying so hard and that was all. if I go to an interview with a top model girl , my chances to be hired will be higher because everyone will think the "model"won't work as hard ( this is the prejudice here , brains over beauty lol). fat is just a word . and that background is funny , if you like it keep it and who's offended isn't forced to look at it. I think people get offended too easy lately on spark . and I hope I didn't offended somebody emoticon, I also like to laugh at myself emoticon

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GEEMAWEST 8/19/2011 10:35AM

    Very well said, my friend! Keep the laughter coming.
emoticon emoticon

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FROGGERHKC 8/19/2011 10:34AM

    I love your wallpaper! I have seen this pic before, and I too bust out laughing when I read it and thought to myself "ha! that is so true! I would def try to eat it, lol!" You are doing awesome, and I love reading your blogs. Don't change a thing my friend!

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BLUEROSE73 8/19/2011 10:33AM

    I love the wall paper. It gave me a chuckle even before I read the blog. And I love the way you look at it. Too many people take too much far too seriously. We all need to laugh at ourselves once in a while.

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SNOWANGELDIVA 8/19/2011 10:30AM

    emoticon
"You see, I believed diet soft drinks had magical and mystical properties that melted all the fat and calories away from that Big Mac and large fries."
It's astounding the misinterpretations many of us have about our nutrition. I really didn't comprehend the portions. A meal served in a restaurant is really a two for one deal.
and I always love your words you chose in your writing...
"The person who was getting ready to **filet** me is just sitting there fuming."
I could feel that sinking sensation of failure in the pit of my stomach as I read it...ugh.

Keep your journey real for you, John. You can do it!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/19/2011 10:11AM

    As a nurse, I can't stand Dr. Phil either. Most medical people can't. He is quite the weenie but he is good for a laugh or two. LOL.

He's everything in a man that I detest and everything you're not. So rest assured I'm not dissing you for having a freak on your wall paper. LOL.

You know me, I only jump your bones for the important stuff - like wimpy excuses or anything that reeks of poor self esteem. LOL. Those I won't hesitate to kick your butt for. LOL. emoticon

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BLACKROSE_222 8/19/2011 10:02AM

    I first saw this poster on Google one day, and I had the same reaction as you - burst into laughter, and had to nod my head at the truth of it. Thanks for blogging, and I think you did the right thing by getting your feelings out.

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ARCHIMEDESII 8/19/2011 10:01AM

    “You’re fat. Don’t try to sugar coat it or you’ll eat that too!”

Personally, I thought that was hilarious ! But then I've been known to have an occasionally off beat (some would call sick) sense of humor. LOL !!

Like you, I do believe in trying to find some humor in difficult situations. That's what positive people do. Some folks might call it a gallows humor and don't appreciate it. They think it's disrespectful. I don't think you meant any harm. However, there are folks who are more sensitive about their weight.

Should you be forced to take it down ? My personal opinion is that it was your wall paper and it makes you happy, that's what matters. made me laugh.

And yes, I do feel more people should have a sense of humor.

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Comment edited on: 8/19/2011 10:01:37 AM

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LJCANNON 8/19/2011 9:58AM

    Keep your Wall paper, and keep Smiling!! As others have said, it is what it does for you that is important!!
emoticonIf someone doesn't like it all they have to do is NOT Click on your Page.

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KATHRYN1955 8/19/2011 9:55AM

    Aside from any theatrics and financial gain, I have always liked Dr.Phil's direct style...my personal favourite line of his is "If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got." (or words to that effect!).
People pleasing (putting everyone's needs before our own) is what has got us into this predicament in the first place.
As long as it doesn't go against SparkPeople's rules for decent language etc., our pages need to reflect what is important for our own journey.
Spark on!! No more sugar coating!!!
Kathy


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JECKIE 8/19/2011 9:44AM

    I can't stand Dr. Phil, but you know what? We're too busy trying to hide behind PC terms and it allows us to deny reality. "Fat" may be considered derogatory by some people, but it's at least honest.

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FLA-1956 8/19/2011 9:40AM

  I like your blog and yor wallpaper is fine. If we weren't fat we wouldn't be here on sparkpeople trying to do something about it. And they say laughter is the best medicine. You keep on doing what you're doing. emoticon

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ERLYWA 8/19/2011 9:25AM

    I, personally, am not a big Dr Phil fan. Your background didn't really do anything in particular for me one way or the other...make me laugh OR offend me. But what it did or did not do for ME is really not the point, is it? The point is that our backgrounds are personal for US. What we put on our backgrounds is what we choose to see every single day, multiple times a day, b/c it sends some kind of message to us that we want to have reinforced for ourselves over and over.

Awhile back I had a cool background that was a silhouette of a woman running uphill. It motivated me every time I looked at it! When I got injured and had to stop running, it hurt to see it b/c it reminded me of what I had to stop doing. I changed my background to a beautiful photo of a lotus flower, which is a symbol of healing. Now that I get to run again, there is a joyous photo of me running towards the finish line in my first 5k, b/c it reminds me of what I can do if I put my mind to it.

My point is that our backgrounds are very personal and they are for us. To tell you to never use the "F word" is just not realistic. I was in Overeaters Anonymous once and it drove me crazy that they weren't "allowed" use words like ice cream...so it someone was telling about a binge they had, they would refer to "that frozen dessert that you scoop out into a bowl" or other such nonsense.

To be frank about our weight issues and even have a chuckle about it every now and then is crucial for our journey.

Kudos to you for leaving your background up and not letting the people pleaser in you take it down!




Comment edited on: 8/19/2011 9:27:25 AM

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MISSROCKABILLY 8/19/2011 9:23AM

    I thought your new wallpaper was hysterical! If you like it and it works for you, then leave it be and don't let anyone bother you about it. Some folks love to take things way too seriously.

Your blog today was great, and I love your practical way of looking at life and your wonderful sense of humor!

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DEBRITA01 8/19/2011 9:23AM

    Your wallpaper caught my eye...and I thought it was funny. If we can laugh at our self and not take ourselves too seriously, it makes the weight loss (and life's) journey somehow easier. Lighten up people, it's just a background image...

I used to be a people pleaser, too...

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CMBELISLE 8/19/2011 9:20AM

    As said in Reader's Digest - Laughter is the Best Medicine!

Keep up the great work and quit worrying so much about what everyone else thinks. What you think is what is most important for you!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 8/19/2011 9:17AM

    your wallpaper is for YOU! Not that it's bad that you nudged some folks into reacting. But it's their stuff they are reacting to. Laugh on!

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ANGEL636 8/19/2011 9:01AM

    Well I love Dr Phil & I really love your wallpaper. Great choice. If people find it offensive then they don't need to look at it.. I so understand what you are saying John for I too am a warm, caring & sensitive people pleaser.
Kudos to you & your awesome sense of humor. emoticon

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Somedays, All I Want To Say Is............

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

That there are other folks out here just like you who have highs and lows.

That you are not alone in your journey. Many of us pause on the side of the road to catch our breaths but we dont end the journey........... Neither do you.


That you'd be suprised to know that we dont see all your "fatal flaws." We just see a warm and caring person who is struggling really hard to be healthy and happy. We bask in your beautiful smile.


You dont always hear the loud cheers and the deep admiration we have for you. Like me you are too busy listening to that little voice going "nader, nader, nader!!"


That you are a source of joy, inspiration and love for many of us.


That you touch the hearts and souls of many each day and you never ever know it.


That you are accepted and loved just as you are.


Yeah you!!!! I'm talkin' bout' you.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 10/12/2011 11:15AM

    And that's why I love this place...acceptance.

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TNANCE3 9/6/2011 1:37PM

    Thanks, John! I felt like you were talking straight to me! You made me feel better. Hope you feel better soon.
Teresa

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ANATASHIKI 8/18/2011 3:47PM

    thank you , don't forget to tell these things to your mirror too emoticon
emoticonkori

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NATTY0488 8/18/2011 2:03PM

    Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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AMELIASEWS 8/18/2011 12:51PM

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you. Just what I needed to read today. Going through a rough spot and these are all things I need to remember.

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BRIANDOYLE 8/18/2011 10:13AM

    Thank you for sharing this!

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LYNMEINDERS 8/18/2011 5:33AM

    Right back at ya John....

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NASFKAB 8/18/2011 12:26AM

  Thanks nice of you

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NASFKAB 8/18/2011 12:26AM

  Thanks nice of you

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CARTOONB 8/17/2011 11:48PM

    Yeah, I know. emoticon

Right back at ya!

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RUN4FOOD 8/17/2011 9:08PM

    Thanks, feel better already. Hope you do to.

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TRISTAROSE 8/17/2011 6:11PM

    Great words of wisdom .... Thanks John!

emoticon emoticon

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DEE797 8/17/2011 2:36PM

    Definitely needed this today. Thanks John for the reminder. Wishing you success on your journey! emoticon

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GIRANIMAL 8/17/2011 2:27PM

    Wise words delivered with impeccable timing, as usual! I am indeed struggling really hard to be healthy and happy, especially lately. Thanks, John! Like others, I too hope you've said this in the mirror today.

emoticon

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SPARKLISE 8/17/2011 1:52PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HDHAWK 8/17/2011 1:41PM

    Right back at you dear friend! Thanks for the encouragement!

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GETFIT2LIVE 8/17/2011 1:11PM

    John, hope you look in the mirror and say that to yourself a few dozen times today--because it is 110% as true for you as it is for the people you say it to here!

emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/17/2011 12:13PM

    Amen to this. Thank God for our friends and supporters.

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MIZZSB 8/17/2011 11:32AM

    same goes for you...

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GAL7288 8/17/2011 11:18AM

    Thanks so much. I really love being on this site, i've meet alot of people who understand and care about our daily struggles. emoticon

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BLACKROSE_222 8/17/2011 10:59AM

    Thanks, John. I needed this today. Right back at you, boy!

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GOOFIERNU 8/17/2011 10:34AM

    YAY! It's good to know I'm not traveling this road alone. Some days it feels like I am, but then I look around...
emoticon Thank you for your words.

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BLUEROSE73 8/17/2011 10:24AM

    emoticon

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FROGGERHKC 8/17/2011 10:17AM

    Great blog! Thanks for sharing! Hope you have a wonderful day :)

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KKINNEA 8/17/2011 10:08AM

    Exactly, we're all pulling each other along on the road race of life.

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JSPIN74 8/17/2011 9:59AM

    emoticon emoticon

Have a great Wednesday!

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-AIMIE- 8/17/2011 9:54AM

    Awe... how sweet are you! Thanks for the gratitude. I am also so thankful for the support and love I have found on Sparkpeople!

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ERLYWA 8/17/2011 9:18AM

    Awesome reminder! Thanks :)

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FLA-1956 8/17/2011 9:17AM

  Thanks for the reminder. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2011 9:02AM

    You talkin' to ME? LOL, great blog. You've put my feelings into words better than I could! Spark on, fellow Sparker!

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LADYGWEN25 8/17/2011 8:53AM

    perfect! just what i needed today! thank you!

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MOMONTHERUN1 8/17/2011 8:34AM

    Thanks John! I needed this today.....as always a great blog.

Lianne

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ZIPPOZEPPO 8/17/2011 8:32AM

    Perfect! I just what I needed to hear. Thanks for the uplift-Mike

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PATTILYNN224 8/17/2011 8:29AM

    Cheers John! Trusting for a great day for you.

p.s. Love your Dr. Phil background :)

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JOYFULSPIRIT920 8/17/2011 8:29AM

    Thank you! I needed affirmation today!


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The KISS Principle plus The 5 P's

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

If you look at my “ticker” you’ll notice it’s not to awfully ambitious. In my last posting I said I’d weigh on Monday and take life in ten pound increments. Well, I forgot about being away from home yesterday. I wanted to work off the scale I’d weighed on since the beginning of Spark, the one in my bathroom. So I waited until this morning to weigh in.

(Lesson Number One: Ya have to be flexible. Rigidity produces stress which in turn induces failure which causes that littler voice to say “Nader, nader, nader…..” One day’s difference in a life time doesn’t make a huge difference. I woke up focused and ready to make the scale groan.)

My first goal is lose ten pounds. Ultimately I am sticking with my long term goal of dropping one hundred pounds but gosh almighty looking at that ticker and thinking about one hundred pounds well it sends me in search of a donut. Ten pounds is manageable. It’s the KISS principle in action – “Keep It Short and Simple” My focus is to lose ten pounds and I’ll work towards that. As I stated last week when I reach the goal I’ll have a happy dance moment and set the ticker for another ten pound loss.

(Lesson Two:” Dance with what brung ya!” This isn’t to very difficult. Track your food John. Make sure you are getting the best nutritional bang for your buck and look for moments in your day to exercise. Read The Spark again and spend a lot of time breathing deeply. Fruit and/or veggies at every meal. Lottsa water.)

My son Paul is a huge disciple of The Five P’s – Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance. After I weighed in this morning I went to Kroger and purchased a bunch of fruit. I came home, mixed it all up in a large bowel and had a nice breakfast and put a huge gold star before my name for starting my day with a healthy meal. Put another way it goes “Fail to plan, plan to fail.” When I finish this blog Joan and I are going grocery shopping. I have this thing called “a list.”

(Lesson Three: “There has got to be a pony under here somewhere!” I put a lot of weight back on, but I didn’t put it all back on. I’ve kept thirty two pounds off. A gold star again. Positive thoughts produce positive results. )

Hope you have a great day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 10/12/2011 11:14AM

    I can't change my ticker because I'm in a team challenge and the leader is using our tickers to keep track, but I like the idea of just concentrating on 10 pounds right now. I just ate four prunes for my morning snack at work instead of the normal Cheez-its.

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NEEDTOLOSE100LB 8/24/2011 9:15AM

    Accentuate the positive...Jiminy was right. We don't generally tip our plate up and eat all at once, nor do we jump right into running a 10K, so why should we expect our weight loss to be instant? Keep it real and keep up the good work.

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SNOWANGELDIVA 8/18/2011 12:22PM

    emoticon You're -32lbs.
emoticon "Fail to plan, plan to fail"....I'm writing that down and posting it EVERYWHERE.

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NASFKAB 8/17/2011 12:30AM

  All the best to you

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CARTOONB 8/17/2011 12:00AM

    Great attitude! BTW...LOVE your background. That is some funny stuff!

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GEEMAWEST 8/16/2011 8:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LYNMEINDERS 8/16/2011 7:05PM

    Go John....you can so do this....
I love the 5P's...that is awesome...

i also love your gold star concept...
I used to do that for my kids when they were growing up....they would have certain tasks and would get a star when they completed them...
you could create yourself a chart and put a gold star on it everytime you achieve one of the tasks....eg....as you said...started the day with a healthy meal.....
Yay....Good motivation and it is visable and visual.....

Just a thought.....



Comment edited on: 8/16/2011 7:06:35 PM

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BECKY3774 8/16/2011 6:33PM

    Great job John!!

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GIRANIMAL 8/16/2011 6:00PM

    Thirty-two pounds is absolutely a lot to keep off. This is no race -- just keep chipping away at it, and you'll get to where you're meant to be!

Good job on breakfast, and I hope your shopping trip with Joan yields all the nutrient dense, super-good-for-you food your fridge can hold.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANATASHIKI 8/16/2011 2:12PM

    I'm doing the same thing , make "small"goals , 10% weight or 5 % weight or even less . sometimes it takes a month to loose a pound . I don't care how much it will take for all I don't plan to give up and hope that life will be good to me and won't interfere

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KKINNEA 8/16/2011 2:12PM

    Nice job!!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/16/2011 11:40AM

    32 pounds is a lot to keep off. Celebrate that and work on the rest.

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PGNBRI 8/16/2011 11:26AM

    emoticon
We're all here rooting for you and supporting you!

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MISSROCKABILLY 8/16/2011 11:01AM

    It sounds like you have a great plan, John! You can do this, and we are all here to help you, one step at a time!

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GOOFIERNU 8/16/2011 10:45AM

    You can do this. You've done it before, you can do it again. "Progress, not perfection."

And holler if you need a leg up. We're here for ya. emoticon

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BLACKROSE_222 8/16/2011 10:32AM

    Great blog - and great job on the breakfast! emoticon Gold Star for you!

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SPARKLISE 8/16/2011 9:51AM

    Glad to read you found your spark again! emoticon emoticon

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FLA-1956 8/16/2011 9:45AM

  You'll reach your goal. I'm rootin' for you. emoticon

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BRIGI28 8/16/2011 9:39AM

    I know 7 P's....

Prior Proper Planning Prevents Pi$$ Poor Performance!

Makes me laugh, thanks for reminding me!


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ERLYWA 8/16/2011 9:31AM

    I'll never forget what a sparkfriend said to me once, when I was just starting my journey and told him I was overwhelmed at having 100 lbs to lose. He said, "You don't have 100 lbs to lose, you have just one to lose. Then just repeat 100 times." I loved that, b/c it reminded me to keep it simple, one pound at a time!

Your positive attitude/approach is going to take you right straight to your goal weight, I just know it! :)



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RNCMOM4 8/16/2011 9:22AM

    Love this blog! Do you work in the corporate world - as those are acronyms we use at our company - I like how you are relating it to our own personal goals!

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MOMONTHERUN1 8/16/2011 9:14AM

    Your positivity is contagious!! Great outlook and I know that you can do whatever you put your mind to. Keep up the positive thoughts and it will happen!!

Lianne

P.S. I like your background. It made me smile and LOL.

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A Family Moment

Saturday, August 13, 2011


A family trip to the North.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 10/15/2011 2:43PM

    That was so cool being in the car with you and your family!! You make me laugh.

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ANNE-ELIZ 8/16/2011 2:15AM

    Ahh. road trips... emoticon

Sometimes they you wish they could last forever, sometimes they seem like they do...

Looks like you were having a good time, though!

emoticon

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GIRANIMAL 8/15/2011 11:55PM

    Love it! Glad you had a fun trip. And how fun for me to learn that Katie looks so much like her handsome dad! emoticon Also, I expected as much, of course, but Joan really does have the air of a saint. emoticon

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LYNMEINDERS 8/15/2011 7:41PM

    Totally awesome John....
Real Family moments....

NOMORESTALLING I think has answered your family question.....lol....
Maybe sharing the answer with your family will bring about a sequel video blog..... emoticon

trust you enjoyed the trip....

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SNOWANGELDIVA 8/15/2011 1:10AM

    emoticon
This is why I vlog too....it's my turn to talk!!!
emoticon
Great hat, John!!

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NASFKAB 8/15/2011 12:28AM

  Fun blog thanks

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NOMORESTALLING 8/14/2011 11:29AM

    Too late it's posted LOL


Love the argument going on! LOL
I do believe the term is Taxidermist and what he does is considered taxidermy.World English Dictionary
taxidermy (ˈtæksɪˌdɜː
;
;mɪ)

— n
the art or process of preparing, stuffing, and mounting animal skins so that they have a lifelike appearance

[C19: from Greek taxis arrangement + -dermy, from Greek derma skin]

taxi'dermal

— adj

taxi'dermic

— adj

'taxidermist

And there you have it!
But then what do I know LOL

i WANT THE HAT i COULD GIVE IT TO SEVERAL FAMILY MEMBERS LOL

Comment edited on: 8/14/2011 11:31:13 AM

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FROGGERHKC 8/14/2011 10:56AM

    LOL I love the hat! :)

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ANATASHIKI 8/14/2011 1:55AM

    lovely family! emoticon emoticon

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COUCHDIVA333 8/13/2011 10:21PM

    lol!

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WEKIMER 8/13/2011 9:19PM

    Wonderful video. Thanks for welcoming me to the 90 Day Push and have a safe trip.
Love your Dr Phil background. He always tells it like it is. And he does resemble you too. Guess you might have already been told that one. kim

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GEEMAWEST 8/13/2011 9:04PM

    That was so cute! Thanks for sharing.

p.s. I love the new Dr. Phil background.

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SHERRYJVP 8/13/2011 6:47PM

    what fun..and a new word has been created and I like it. You are a funloving family. God Bless you.

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HDHAWK 8/13/2011 6:46PM

    emoticon So cute John! Have a wonderful trip and safe travels!

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MKPRINCESS007 8/13/2011 6:21PM

    Love this John! You know I have to look this up............hold on a minute....

World English Dictionary
taxidermy (ˈtæksɪˌdɜː
;mɪ)

— n
the art or process of preparing, stuffing, and mounting animal skins so that they have a lifelike appearance

[C19: from Greek taxis arrangement + -dermy, from Greek derma skin]

taxi'dermal

— adj

taxi'dermic

— adj

'taxidermist

— n

You look like such a fun family.........love it! Hope you have a great time on your journey! Thanks for sharing........

Karen

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MIZZSB 8/13/2011 6:15PM

    I LOVE IT!!!
i dont know which it is but it made me smile!!
Great video just before i go to bed :)

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BECKY3774 8/13/2011 6:12PM

    Too funny.....neither! Taxidermy is the act of doing the preserving, but the other two words aren't in the dictionary....have a fun trip~ It looks as if it's off to a great start! Say hello to everyone! emoticon

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