Sunday, July 31, 2011
What if we believed……………..
We were perfect just the way God made us
We were loved unconditionally and without any expectation.
We were loved simply because we were created.
That we were wise
That we had the capability inside of us to be healthy and fit
That it didn’t really matter what we looked like
That running fast or jumping high or swinging weights didn’t make us any better, or any worse.
That it’s okay to fail every now and then
That it was perfectly fine that we learned a bit slower than the person next to us.
That the gifts, treasure and insights we possess made all the difference to those we live with and those we love.
What if we believed in us, you and in me, and what if we held that amazing belief we had in ourselves out like a beacon for others to see. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
My legs weren’t feeling any better, my attitude was in the toilet, I was able to do less and less and Joan gave me the option of either seeing another doctor or getting a good attorney!! Since my last visit to the doctor and the exhortation to rest, swim and apply cold packs to my thighs things hadn’t gotten any better. They hadn’t gotten any worse, but had stabilized to a dull ache and a lack of mobility. This, in turn, made John one very cranky person to be around. My whole lower body was stiff and sore.
My doctor is out of town so I went to an immediate care facility. I’d had good luck in the past with these folks and the PA on staff there is known to be thorough and easy to get along with. So I sat on an examination table, gave her my list of woes, she smiled and said “X-Rays” After bending my lower body into positions I don’t think it should be bent into she told me I had a slight bulge in the disc between my L2 and L3 vertebrae with a few tiny bone spurs thrown in to boot. All of my spinning and TRX training had aggravated the condition. Those vertebrae are responsible for providing feeling, etc. to the legs. I’m scratching my head because my back didn’t hurt.
She gave me a shot containing an anti-inflammatory and a prescription for muscle relaxers. She scheduled me for PT starting early next week and told me to walk as much as I can along with swimming. I popped a muscle relaxer before bed last night and woke up feeling relaxed LOL. Joan and I took a walk this morning and I walked about one half mile. That is the longest I’ve been able to walk in a month. The only area sore right now is the injection sight.
Her assessment is that my biking and spinning days are over because of the pressure it puts on my lower back. It felt good to be able to walk unencumbered this morning. As I write I feel pretty good. Just thought I’d share.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
It’s always the little things, isn’t it? I set a really good plan in place, make sure the “right” food is in the house, mark time off on my calendar to make sure I swim and do my stretches, and lo and behold, like a penny on a railroad track something so small and insignificant threatens to derail me? Does that happen to you? I pray, I meditate, I hold “good thoughts” in my head. I visualize myself as being healthy, active and well within my weight limits. (Often I see myself as rather “dashing” lol) I read all the right articles and blogs and study my goals. One tiny feather, one slight breeze blowing cross wind and whamo blamo my world is threatened.
I am learning that my life isn’t just what I put in my mouth or how many laps I swim; it is what I do when a huge ball of negativity rolls around the corner and threatens to squash all my best efforts. It’s staying within my calorie limits and grabbing the cup of water melon rather than the plate of cookies. I am learning not to turn to food for salvation and relief but rather to look inside, find the pebble in my emotional or spiritual shoe and work to remove it. Balance in my life is achieved when I look at everything, all the time on a daily basis and realize that my attitude is just as important as a food label. It means fear; anxiety and anger are issues to be worked out and dealt with gently and at face value.
I find that precious balance that is often fleeting when I repeat my mantra; “You are worth it, you deserve, it you are what you believe you are and you are who you hang around with.” Some days it swirls in my head continually and oh, those days are so magnificent. Other days its MIA, I couldn’t find it with a GPS if my life depended on it.
The precious balance in my life comes only when I look inward and out at those who love, support and nurture me, all at the same time..
Monday, July 25, 2011
Did you ever have one of those moments in your life where a thought comes crashing into your head and you wonder why you haven’t had it before? You ask yourself why you didn’t have the insight in the past to find this thought, and make it part of you? It would have saved you a lot of time and effort, not to mention pain, anxiety and all those other things that go along with our notion that we fail far more often than we succeed.
A friend and I were talking the other day about the notion of prosperity and abundance and how they often signified only material things. We talked about expanding the definition to include every aspect of our lives and that a person with rich and full relationships, health or knowledge for example was a prosperous and abundant person. We talked about material wealth and how so many people we knew believed they didn’t deserve to be wealthy. That’s when the thought hit me.
Most of us are conditioned to believe we have to “earn” what we receive in life. When we don’t hit some magic or mystical mark usually defined by someone other than ourselves, we believe we have failed in our effort and nine time out of ten either give up or rationalize how we don’t deserve to have whatever it is we want. We are flawed!! Take the word “earn” put an “L” in front of it and you my good friend have created magic, yes indeed you have. Now instead of striving, struggling and sweating to earn, you are endeavoring to “learn.”
Think of the very first time you attempted to do something, like learning to drive a car. You didn’t jump in the car turn on the ignition and immediately know what to do and when to do it in all circumstances. You “learned.” You made a few mistakes and the next time you went behind the wheel you remembered what not to do and then a whole new set of circumstances presented themselves and you dealt with them. Each successive experience helped you gain confidence, you took your driver’s test and you received a license to operate a motor vehicle. You “learned” what was necessary. Some people take a little longer than others to learn but the last time I looked no one was required to put a sign on their car that told how long it took to get a license and you can drive just as far and just as long regardless.
I am learning about my body, my mind and my spirit and I am learning that when they work together in harmony I am healthy and balanced. If you want a good definition of learning and you have a day or so, read my blogs from the past nineteen months. There are many peaks and many valleys but always, always I walk away from each experience learning something about myself and my behavior. I have some great successes and some magnificent failures but each time I’ve learned something about myself and my journey.
When I achieve my goals I will have learned a lot. Mostly, I will have learned that I have so much to learn. Adding one small letter removes all the competition and all the self-incrimination and thinking about the dreaded “F” word (Failure.) It means every morning I open the book of life that’s mine and study another chapter.
Plain and simple it’s why I’m still here.
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