Monday, June 27, 2011
I did something last night I havenít done in ages. I took a nice warm bath. Oh, I know its June, and its warm but I soaked there for a half hour or so just reading. Iím reading a book on wellness through balance in your life. One of the points the author made was that youíd be surprised how our choice of food determines our attitude and your outlook on life. I put the book down after a bit and sat there staring at my toes. I had a bible verse scroll through my mind
ďWherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.Ē
It didnít take real long to figure out the answer. All I had to do was look at my belly. Itís food, followed by money, followed by an overwhelming desire to be accepted and recognized by every human being I meet. Thatís where I devote most of my energy. These thoughts come for a reason. They offer me a choice. They offer me an opportunity to stop abusing my body and to embrace a healthier way of living.
Food is my main issue but I know people who can easily substitute food with many other things. Did you know you can become obsessed with exercising to the point where it consumes your entire life and then subsequently ruins it? My daughter Kate has a friend whose husband became so obsessed with a popular exercise program on DVD to the point where it their marriage to unravel. Iím sure other factors were at play but there are people that have to be exercising all the time.
No one likes to read this stuff, heck I donít enjoy telling you that most days Iím thinking about my next meal fifteen minutes after I eat my last one. Iím not proud of the fact that I worry constantly about money or being accepted or not having enough friends. You can fill in the blank with your stuff and logically I guess we could just sit around bemoaning our fate.
I went to bed determined to figure this out before I fell asleep. One thing I noticed about my ďtreasureĒ is that there was no mention of helping, serving or being present to other people. It was a ďme, me, meĒ thing. I laid there and realized I can be awfully selfish at times. Maybe, just maybe, if I opened up a bit more to other people and invested my energy in becoming a servant rather than worrying about getting the best caloric bang for my buck off my next meal, I might slowly begin to change my perspective and balance my wellness.
ďWherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.Ē
Those of us who are overweight know that we got that way because we devote a lot of time to not only eating but eating the wrong foods. Threaten to remove my treasure and you have quite a fight on your hands, my friend!!! Itís why a diet doesnít work. It doesnít change our focus. It doesnít teach us to look for a healthier and more balanced treasure in our lives. It can become a self-destructive monster.
So this morning I begin another journey towards my own wellness. It will come from thinking less of me and more of those around me. Isnít that really balance anyway? When Iím healthy all eight cylinders fire in order to keep me moving forward.
Care to join me?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
There is a simple yet powerful beauty that happens when we choose to share a part of ourselves with someone else and as we do so, we know there will never be any return to us other than the knowledge that we helped another. So strong is the power of sharing that I believe it has the power to heal the person who receives that out pouring of love.
Earlier this week I wrote a blog about remaining positive in the midst of all that was swirling around me. A Spark friend responded to that blog with a link to a video on YouTube. To say it blew me away is an understatement. I listened to it twice and would have listened more but I cried a bit harder each time I listened to it.
I wonít elaborate; give you my opinion, etc. This song stands on its own merit. I am happy to share it and grateful it was shared with me.
I hope you get as much from it as I did.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Joan and I will be away all day today and tommrow at The International Bluegrass Association ROMP festival.
Steve Martin performed last night and he was nothing short of amazing.
There are ten acts today and ten acts tommorow and we wont be back until late Saturday evening. Have a great weekend guys. I'm going to try to get some much needed relaxation.
I'm going to try to update some from my tablet. (If I can figure out how it works, lol)
Thursday, June 23, 2011
When we were very young, around the ages of four or five, my mom and her sisters would visit my grandmother every Friday morning. They would sit around the kitchen table and talk while my cousins and I sat on the kitchen floor and played, or fought, depending on the day and our mood. Inevitably my mother or my aunts would lead the conversation towards some topic of woe. (I spent a long time wondering what a gall bladder really was.) My grandmother would either be cooking or sewing and without missing a stich or a beat she would always have the same comment regardless. ďThis too shall pass.Ē Iím sure my mom and my aunts didnít like hearing it any more than I like my reminding myself of it today.
I consider myself to be about ninety percent positive all the time. I can usually handle what life throws at me and deal with or at least put a positive spin on it. Itís what keeps me moving forward. I mostly act like one of the twin brothers who rushed downstairs on Christmas morning only to find a large pile of horse manure. One brother slumped down dejectedly. The other raced towards the pile of manure and began throwing it up in the air. He was heard to say, ďThere has to be a pony under here somewhere.Ē
In the past eight months I have injured myself more creatively than anyone human being can quite imagine. From my wrist, to my knee to my IT Band to my quads, I have slowed down so much and have so much pain that there are days you really donít want to be around me. Iím angry and frustrated that I canít run right now. My quads are so tight that I can hardly walk. I feel like a failure, total and complete.
Most of it comes from the stress of now knowing that FEMA wonít reimburse me for any of the five grand I dropped on my lower level because my flood wasnít more than two acres. The rest of it comes from worrying about two of the kids being out of work right now. I still have minor night mares about the three flood events in April and May. Itís all created quite a perfect storm in my life.
I donít write this to vent or to garner sympathy or support. I write because this morning, when I was at my lowest, when I went to sit in the whirlpool at my gym and eased into seventy degree water, got out weighed myself and found Iíve gained ten pounds in the past three weeks, I was ready to throw in the towel. I was going to find a mountain top someplace and just spend the rest of my days cursing my fate.
So here I am sitting in front of my locker, tight as a piano wire feeling like I have let down everyone Iíve ever known, feeling like I donít have a friend in this world to talk with and I begin to cry. And with those tears comes a small beak in the clouds. I hear my grandma saying ďThis too shall pass.Ē I sit a bit longer and hear a much more reassuring voice speak to my heart. It says; ďBe still and know that I am God.Ē
Staying positive can be a bit^&. Retaining your faith often sucks really badly. It causes us to feel like we are on a roller coaster and when we look in the mirror we donít recognize ourselves at all. We feel disconnected and in a fog. Itís suddenly so silent and we canít find the map and we feel so bad inside and so frustrated that we canít find our way out. Then we hear those voices, like beacons and we pick our stuff up and move forward because deep down we do know:
This too shall pass.
Hold my hand. Iíll hold yours and somehow weíll get through all of this. I promise.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Making the best decision is tough enough, no? It often involves wringing our hands, tossing and turning at night and uttering a quick prayer in the hopes that we made the correct one. Did you ever think about the impact of your decisions? Ever wonder how the decision you make today will have an impact of next week, or even next month. What if we settled for looking at the next five days?
The donut or slab of pie that I contemplating eating right now will give me a bit of momentary satisfaction. Isnít that satisfaction often followed by some guilt of sorts? A bit of ďOMG I blew it.Ē A few days from now when I get on the scale and Iíve rationalized my way from one donut, to two or maybe three and I donít show a loss or ďOMG I gained weight this week.Ē Maybe I donít feel like going to the gym today. It makes it much easier not to go tomorrow and the next day and the next. Soon Iíve forgotten my way to the gym and my old buddy guilt hops in the seat right next to me and grin. I donít often weigh (No pun intended) the impact my decisions have for my future.
My mind is an amazing tool. It can rationalize anything and continue to rationalize anything as long as I allow to. So Iím committing to do two things, both of them have helped me to become diet soda free for over a month now. (I stopped marking the calendar about two weeks ago!!!) The first is looking at the impact of those moderate to important decisions I make in my life. What effect will they have on my immediate future? While they may give me a short term payoff is there a dead end road around the corner for me somewhere up ahead?
I know when I stay in my calorie limits, do my exercise regimen and get enough rest I feel confident and alert. Thatís a great feeling. Truth be told, itís a feeling I can have every day of the week if I make the right decision. Itís difficult for me. I often feel like ďGood JohnĒ is on one shoulder and ďBad JohnĒ on the other. Iíd like to tell you Iím successful one hundred percent of the time but Iím not.
I am get more effective. Iím doing so by remembering that I am really worth all those tough, ďin it for the long haulĒ decisions I make each day. I doing so with the knowledge that I deserve that positive payoff I get when I make the right decision. People often tell me they fall short of their goals because they are haunted by bad decisions. I believe I should be haunted by good ones; the good ones of me, doing whatís best for my own health. I do it because I am challenged by the most excellent, healthy, intelligent people I choose to hang around with. I see their success in life and I strive to mirror it with my own. Those people are , uhm, YOU!!! I have the knowledge that I am everything I really believe I am.
A BFF mailed me a wrist band. On it was written ďThoughts Become Things, Choose The Good Ones.Ē I look down at it a hundred times a day. This person, a healthy and successful Sparker shared part of their secret with me. When I choose to make the best decisions for me I get the best payoff.
There will always be a slice of pizza, a bag of chips or wedge of pie looming and lurking around the corner. Iíll always be faced with a new and possibly tougher decision. But really, you know as well as I do that those encounters make the end game, the sweet victory of health, so much more satisfying.
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