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............. And It Makes Me Mad

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I stood in line at Walgreen's this evening for about twenty minutes waiting to pick up my blood pressure medication. That's not what made me mad.

Directly in front of me, in the long line was a young lady, who was ill. You could tell by the way she was standing and holding herself. I've felt that bad a time or two in my life and so have you, probably. You just want to take some medicine, curl up in bed and hope you get some relief. She handed the clerk her prescription and asked her to check the price. After a few seconds the clerk gave her an answer, which I couldnt maker out. The young lady answered. "I cant afford that I dont have insurance." She pulled her coat tight and walked away. The clerk rolled her eyes and said 'Whatever." Even that didnt make me mad. I thought it was a bit rude.

If I didnt have insurance my prescription would cost me two hundred dollars a month. I only pay thirty. If i didnt have health insurance I dont know what I'd due, maybe have a stroke and end up dead. It's not my decision. A pharmaceutical company decides who gets better and who doesnt. If you have a good job and lots of money or health insurance you stand a chance to beat your illness. If you dont, well I guess its back to the process of natural selection.

Please dont tell me about people taking responsibility for them selves. If you are a single mom, working two or three part time jobs with no insurance and you get sick but cant afford to pay for your prescription, you cant get better, which means you cant go to work, which means you may lose your job and then where are you?

This isnt a Democratic or Republican issue. It's not a religious issue it is a basic human dignity issue. When you stand shivering with fever in a Walgreen's and cant afford a prescription, there is a lot wrong with the society you live in.

Yes, there are people who cheat and take advantage of things. They all arent poor, homeless or unemployed. Many of them have six or seven figure incomes and display the same lack on integrity they accuse "those people" of having. This is about US, the human race.

When I got home I told Joan I probably should have paid for the girls prescription. She thought a minute and asked me if I planned to stay at Walgreen's all day and night helping people out. She's right. It would have only made me feel better about me. Right now, that would seem awfully selfish.

Okay John, you feel better now that you vented?


I hope you dont either

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UNLIKELY 4/5/2011 12:23PM

  @AZCHICA2006: That comment wasn't directed towards John, it was an answer to a previous comment post.

Comment edited on: 4/5/2011 12:24:22 PM

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    isn't it funny that no one ever suggest regulating the pharmaceutical companies??? I mean really - they charge per pill. Accutane 2.75 per pill, Viagra 5.65 per pill ( depends on locale as well) tylenol less then pennies per pill - unless you get it in the hospital....

I guess what I am saying is there are A LOT of things wrong with our health system.... insurance companies telling doctors how to practice medicine, needing medications but waiting for the ins co. to pre- approve it. needing surgery but having to get pre-approval, ( hope its not a cardiac cath you need)
maybe we should also look at the pharmaceutical and medical supply companies - I mean who police's them ? they charge what they want and we pay it I mean really an ace bandage cost 8.99 over the counter.

Comment edited on: 4/5/2011 8:04:13 AM

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AZCHICA2006 4/5/2011 6:55AM

    Who said this young lady had no education? Perhaps she was in school and the campus doesn't have a student health center where she could go for prescriptions. Even the one at my University charged for prescriptions...I was lucky enough to still be covered under my parent's health insurance and normally did not have to pay, or if I did it was a small deductible.

The point of the blog was that the cost of health care is too high in America and that the writer felt bad for the girl because she was obviously sick but couldn't afford the treatment. This happens everyday with the elderly.

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EGR2BEME 4/2/2011 9:47AM

    I do not feel better! There is so much I could say on this topic...but others have already commented and said it so eloquently!

So my only comment is: "John for President"!!

So happy I came across your Spark Page and watched your video blog and have added you as a friend so that I have the opportunity to read your words of wisdom.

Thanks for being here! emoticon

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EGR2BEME 4/2/2011 9:40AM

    I do not feel better! There is so much I could say on this topic...but others have already commented and said it so eloquently!

So my only comment is: "John for President"!!

So happy I came across your Spark Page and watched your video blog and have added you as a friend so that I have the opportunity to read your words of wisdom.

Thanks for being here! emoticon

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UNLIKELY 4/1/2011 2:36PM

  How much happier would we be as a people if we knew that regardless of our financial situation we could still have our health taken care of. I know I would be. Not having to worry that MY personal illness was going to ruin my whole family and their welfare. Why is it in countries like Canada and France they have health care for everyone even visitors. They are allowed to take a year of PAID leave when they have their children and the government even sends them people to help the new mother with housework. I know I had to leave my son three months after I had him because I had to go back to work and I DID GO TO COLLEGE. Just because you graduate from school does not guarantee you a swank job and decent health insurance. In a country where we are supposedly so rich why can't we afford to take care of ourselves. Education and basic health are given to those who can afford it and it makes me sick. It is our job in this life to support one another and we should find a way to make this happen.

Comment edited on: 4/1/2011 2:40:54 PM

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LISA01605 4/1/2011 1:39PM

    Universal health care is definitely a hot topic Personally I am for it but I can see how others might not be. I think a good first step would be to make health insurance, and all medical services, non profit organizations. I am not saying doctors etc. don't deserve to make a living, I am saying insurance companies and hospitals shouldn't be working to make profit and answering to shareholders. They should be doing what is in the interest of the patient. I think too often money clouds their brains. Everybody needs to eat and I get that but some of it is pure greed.

Sometimes having insurance isn't even the answer. My dad works hard for the US postal service and has for over 30 years and he has what he thought was good insurance. When my mom was sick last year the insurance company deemed her healthy enough to go home from the hospital AGAINST the doctor's advice. My dad tried to appeal but the insurance company would not back down. My parents couldn't afford to pay the hospital for her to stay longer so she had to go home- barely able to walk. When she did get home she fell on the floor and they had to have the fire department come over to pick her up. Everyone who saw her said they couldn't believe she was released from the hospital. She has since gotten better (it's been about 6 months) but every step of the way the insurance company put up a fight. They would pay for a Physical therapist to come by the house 3x a week and a visiting nurse to come by 3x a week but would not let her stay in a hospital or rehab, where she really needed to be.

The point of my story is sometimes you can work hard for a living and have insurance and still not be protected. Something needs to change.

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IMTCDZ 3/31/2011 8:29PM

  Good blog - definitely hot topic. I believe health care should be a basic human right. What makes me sad is many people that I know (relatives, friends and people I go to church with) refuse to believe there's a problem because it hasn't touched them yet. They're judgemental and want to believe it's mostly the fault of the person who has no insurance. They like to believe they won't be affected because they've made such good life choices. They say the uninsured can go to the ER, there's clinics, they can get on Medicaid but I say there are too many people that fall between the cracks. The woman's comment to this blog about her sister-in-law having cancer and no insurance even though she's working 3 jobs. What is that!!!! It makes me sad and angry that in this country that we haven't cared enough to take care of this problem.

Comment edited on: 3/31/2011 8:31:33 PM

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DIASTER 3/31/2011 6:05PM

  Most counties have a free clinic the clerk could have referred her there, or suggested Wallmart with their $4.00 prescriptions. What a shame that here in the USA we have people that have to forgo meds when they are really sick. Sigh====

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VISHYT 3/31/2011 3:39PM

    I live in a country where you don't need health insurance. We have a system that provides for people, and I consider myself fortunate. Good health is a basic human right. Poverty is not a chosen affliction, and education does NOT fix it. (Note to others reading this: I'm a teacher, please don't lecture me on educational sociology, unless you want to read research papers PROVING my perspective.)

I really feel for people who can't afford medicine or health care, and I feel for you, being caught up in a system where the pooror are not catered to and are trapped in that situation. The best anyone can do is vote, lobby for change, and discuss it like you have here. I sincerely hope that the person you saw is helped, or able to find other avenues for assistance. While praying might make people feel better, I believe God put the job of compassion in our hands. Helping one person in one random act of kindness is perhaps all you can do sometimes, but it's enough for that moment.

Thanks so much for sharing this! It's certainly got me thinking.

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MARCYNA 3/31/2011 3:15PM

    You can still pray for her. The Lord can use your prayers in mysterious ways, heal her or let her find another solution.
We have a public health system here in my country and if you're poor you don't have to pay , only rich people have to pay...even if sometimes people cheat to pay less, and there are faults in the system, I am so happy of this system, I find it very useful. Even the poorest can afford the most expensive cures. emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/31/2011 3:16:37 PM

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GIRANIMAL 3/31/2011 2:42PM

    Oh man, this one's a hot topic! I'm glad you vented, partly because it will also give others a chance to sound off, no matter where they fall in this debate. And talking about it is the only way it's going to get better.

I agree that there are plenty of unknowns about this girl's circumstances. I too tend to believe though that no matter what they are, basic humanity is still a major issue here.

I have neighbors who are clear abusers of the system. They are not monsters, but they are certainly disingenuous. And I feel sad that their kids/grandkids are learning the same lack of integrity. I am sometimes angry and feel taken advantage of that I am paying for her antidepressants so she can wash them down with a daily 12 pack of Ice House in front of her house. (These are not assumptions; I witness the beer drinking and she makes no pretense about it and her welfare collection.)

However, my mother worked hard most of her life. She was a laborer, then a stay-at-home mom who was left high and dry when my stepfather left her for another woman. After so many yeas off work she had few job skills and less experience and was lucky to get local minimum wage jobs. She had health coverage then, but it was not good. When she became both sick and unemployed (though not a dead-beat - she cared for her ailing father full time until he died), she relied on the county for medical care. She died before they could get her into the proper doctors.

I am not exaggerating when I say that system is so overwhelmed that we were receiving reminder phone calls two months after she died for an appointment with a rheumatologist, for which she had to wait well over six months, at the SAME HOSPITAL where she died. Really? I have to call you and tell you that the patient you were expecting died under your own roof waiting to see you? Awesome.

So all I'm saying is that option is broken too. And generic drugs are not always available in my experience. And besides that, shouldn't our health care system provide more preventive medicine so profit-making drugs are not the only option anyway? And what if you dare to choose self-employment? That should be punished by health care plans that are nowhere near as regulated as employer plans and can basically rip you off?

I could go on and on about this issue, but I will show SOME restraint, for Pete's sake. emoticon

I agree with dear Joan that you or I or any of us cannot personally help everyone. I also agree with TRIPLE_EMME that we need a shift in consciousness toward better humanity.


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CMBELISLE 3/31/2011 1:31PM

    I may piss off some people with my response here, but I'm on the fence on this one as there are ways for this girl to get the medicine she needs without having to pay so much for it AND if she grew up in the US, she has had the same educational opportunities as everyone else. Of course, there are LOTS of circumstances we do not know here.

I've been in situations where I couldn't afford my medicine, so I talked to my doctor about it - he gave me free samples or picked medications available as generics that may cost as little as four dollars. Who wrote the prescription? It had to have come from a doctor - didn't she have to pay him?

Pharmaceutical companies also have programs for low income individuals to get the medications they need - not easy, but what is? I know they exist because I've had to do some research on them. Furthermore, what did it cost for them to develop the medication? Should the pharmaceutical company give it away? Should a doctor be forced to work for free after paying for medical school? Do you have any idea how much malpractice insurance costs? Pharmaceutical companies have to buy insurance too. Would you work for free?

Some people choose to not have medical insurance because they can't afford the cost their employer passes along to them or for personal reasons. They work out payment plans with their doctors and find ways to pay for their medications. My auto insurance company has a complimentary prescription drug program to get medications at a discount.

So, while the girls' situation seems dire and may be, it is just as possible that it is not. She may have chosen to be in her situation - quit school, didn't go to college, etc. In the end, it is neither my responsibility nor the government's to make sure this girl has the ability to afford medical care. However, I may choose to donate to an organization that can help people in dire situations.

And one more thing, the person at the pharmacy was rude. The pharmacy employees could have done more to help, but then again, there was long line with other (paying) customers who had been waiting as long as 20 minutes.

Comment edited on: 3/31/2011 1:54:09 PM

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GODDESSELLIE07 3/31/2011 10:41AM

    I agree. Walgreens actually has a prescription program where you can sign up for maybe $20/year and it really cuts down the cost of prescriptions. I wish the clerk could have told this person that rather than being rude. I used it when my insurance refused to cover my medicine... it ended up costing me around $10 per month rather than around $30.

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LUVMYK9S 3/31/2011 10:29AM

    I agree with you John, your concerns are valid, but like others have said, what can we do as individuals? My sister in law was diagnosed with breast cancer 8 years ago, at the time her treatment was covered through her husband's health plan. She is now a single Mom who is also caring for her father who recently had a stroke, she is working three jobs and no longer has any health coverage (her ex husband dropped her from the health plan when they split). Her cancer is no longer in remission and she cannot afford treatment. Because she is employed she does not qualify for any type of government assistance.

It makes me mad too ...

(BTW, Walgreens does have a prescription savings plan, I don't know if it would have made any difference in this specific instance ...)

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SPARKENISTA 3/31/2011 10:14AM

    You know what? I would go online and email the complaint to the executives of Walgreens. I would let them know the time and the store so that they can track down the clerk or pharmacist who committed this atrocity.

The Sparkers, above, who made the point that there is probably a generic drug that would produce similar results are correct. In any case, the clerk should have demonstrated some initiative, sensitivity and humanity in exploring options, calling over the pharmacist, speaking to the physician and involving the manager. I understand that the woman herself was ill and not able or willing to advocate for herself but the staff should have.

My blogs last week are about a coaching client who called me mid-week, was very sick, and asked me to find her a doctor. Is that my job? Not technically. But I did not let her off the phone until I found someone. When she saw him that day, he called for an ambulance to admit her to the hospital with double pneumonia. He later told her she was one step away from a resperator. Now, she's fine, BTW--after seven days in the hospital.

If she had had an antibiotic sooner this could probably have been averted. But--she doesn't have insurance, and didn't want to see a doctor. The woman you saw may have sought help before a hospitalization was necessary. This is the fault of the pharmacy. Case closed. You should definitely email Walgreens.



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TRIPLE_EMME 3/31/2011 9:42AM

    I'm glad that you have voiced your concern over this issue. People need to be aware.

Although, this is one of many issues of inequity in basic needs that people face.

What can we do?!!!

There is plenty that we can do. We, as people of this Earth, need to start reevaluating our priorities and making a conscious shift to living in a manner that truly resonates with love for each other, other species that inhabit this planet and Mother Earth, herself.

Just my two cents!

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WIZINTN 3/31/2011 9:03AM

    I'm glad you wrote it, John. Maybe we can hope that, if enough of us witness for those who have no voice, compassion and common sense will supercede greed and hardheartedness.

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SILLYHP1953 3/31/2011 9:01AM

    What can we do? Would calling Walgreen's help? If there was a way for the woman to get a cheaper generic drug then the clerk should have offered it. Does Walgreen's have a policy in place? If all of us were willing to help then you wouldn't have to stay in Walgreens by yourself helping everyone. I'm getting ready to go in if we took care of our own people in our own country before trying to take over the world then we'd be better off. It is all so sad and makes me feel so helpless, kind of like that woman felt, only she felt worse because I do have health insurance.

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ZURDTA- 3/31/2011 8:38AM

    This is where I am so grateful that here in Britain we have a National Health Service. When I was a poor single parent I got my meds for free... now I am working and on the up I pay into the system, for those who are not so fortunate right now, and also to subsidise the meds I need regularly to keep me alive.

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MYGOLDENBOYS3 3/31/2011 7:15AM

    The clerk was rude and the poor young woman was humiliated by having to turn around and leave without her medicine. If it was an antibiotic, then she will only get worse without it. Sad. emoticon

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LYNMEINDERS 3/31/2011 3:53AM

    the societies we live in have lost integrity and also values...the pendulum needs to swing back towards the middle....

I know how you feel and I love what your Joan said to hubby has said simular to me as well....

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XENA1956 3/31/2011 12:16AM

    That is too bad. She should have ask for a substitute if one was available because Walgreens does have cheaper drugs that you can get by being on their $4 a month plan. All she would have had to do was fill out the paperwork. I know she was sick and mostly just wanted to be home, in bed. You have a kind heart, much more than that clerk did. emoticon emoticon

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DAWNEBLUNDA 3/30/2011 11:44PM

    i totally agree. Its ridiculous. And, it infuriates me that the people making the decisions to deny other people basic health care are the very ones who have some of the best health care available in this country. Paid for by you and me. Too bad they can't walk a mile in that poor woman's shoes. emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/30/2011 11:16PM

    You are I are in total agreement about this John!! There is really no reason for this to ever happen.

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GEEMAWEST 3/30/2011 9:39PM

    Many years ago I was in the position of not being able to afford a prescription that I desperately needed for strep throat. It was very humiliating. When I told the pharmacist, she informed me that the doctor had prescribed me a new and very costly antibiotic. She also told me that a much cheaper generic antibiotic would probably do the same trick and she proceeded to call my doctor who agreed to the change in prescription. I'm pretty sure that the doctor was getting a kickback from prescribing the more expensive drug.

There is something terribly wrong with our health care system.

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CINDY_LOU24 3/30/2011 9:31PM

    I don't have health insurance either. I have a part time job because I can't seem to find someone to hire me full time. And I have pre-existing conditions, so none of the private insurance companies will touch me. Hopefully, I stay healthy, otherwise, I will be like that poor girl at Walgreens...

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    I completely agree. My coworker told me one time that she had a lady pay for her medicine because she didn't have the money to get it all at one time. This is the same co-worker who pays over $500 a month for insurance for 2 adults.

I myself do not have insurance. I possibly could have it if I needed it, but the only medication I take at the moment is my depo shot which is about $60 4x a year. I have a customer at work that told me his medicine would cost over $2000 if he didn't have medicaid. It's very, very sad that it comes down to medicine being that expensive.

Thankfully, the doctor I go to has a income program and it reduces my cost to see her to about $25 instead of $150 a visit. I did have to go to the emergency room before and got help with that (I am on a low income but I don't have a husband or children.).

But for now, it's enough I guess.

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BLUEEYESXOXO 3/30/2011 9:12PM

    I completely understand this. Our system is corrupt, it seems they will help the people who abuse more often then they will help the people who truly need it. Hopefully one day, we as human beings can all be equal. A girl can dream, right?

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MADZOE 3/30/2011 9:07PM

    You are so right!

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TARANITUP 3/30/2011 9:04PM

    That's a shame :(

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REJ7777 3/30/2011 8:59PM


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HDHAWK 3/30/2011 8:54PM

    I'm so thankful for my insurance every month when I fill my prescriptions for my high cholesterol. My dad died at 45 of a heart attack (as other family members have) so I know what the outcome would be if I couldn't buy them. I had the same thought as for her prescription. Joan gave me a new way of looking at the situation.

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/30/2011 8:47PM

    I get angry about it, too, but I don't have any solutions. The system is broken, that's for sure.

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NASFKAB 3/30/2011 8:26PM

  This issue is something that makes me mad too. More at those rich who cheat on their taxes using loopholes. You cant stand all day helping out but something has to be done. Wish I knew what???????????????????????

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KT-NICHOLS-13 3/30/2011 8:18PM

    Something is broken ...
I'm not sure I know how to fix it and I darn sure those we put in charge won't, can't or don't know how to fix it.

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THECRAZYMANGO 3/30/2011 8:17PM

    I understand your frustration 100%! I have no health insurance and it is scary as it is just getting worse with healthcare. I guess the part that is really scary is that if I ever got majorly sick/injuried, I couldn't take care of myself! emoticon

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A Manifesto of Sorts: I'll Always Be What I Be

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Every morning, when I look in the mirror itís always the same me. I may change the way I style my hair or its coloring. I may shave my beard and only grow back a mustache, trade my glasses for contact lenses but when I look really hard itís still John.

I would rob a bank for sweets. Serve me anything with bread in it or around it and Iíll knock you away from the table. Put me in a cheese shop and Iím in heaven and you can make the experience even more of a pleasure if I have a good cold stein of beer in my hand. I donít mean lite beer either!!! I have a foolish belief that if I sweat enough I can counteract my food addictions and that if I donít get on the scale I wonít gain any weight. I could go on and on but you get my point.

Iím no scientist but it many ways you and I were hard wired at birth. The tendencies I have physical and emotional are what make me the adorable person I have become. (Sorta) In short,Ē I is what I is.Ē It doesnít mean I allow those things to run amok in my life, it means I acknowledge they are present and deal with them, honestly and openly. It means I acknowledge, often very painfully that I am always going to have to run like He^^ when I see or smell a donut shop. It means that I may have to talk myself to the gym every lousy day of the week because I know I make excuses not to go work out. I canít surgically alter my psyche. Itís how I was born.

However, when I look in the mirror I see so much more. I see a guy who has some very special people in his life, both real and virtual who are here to help him when he begins to give in to those cravings and desires. They are the folks he hangs with. They accept him good or bad for who he is.

I know I am worth the agony and yeah friend you know as well as I do itís agony, of walking through a dietary mind field every day and asking yourself ďIf Iím not on a diet, why the He^^ does it feel like I am on one.Ē Itís looking in the mirror and counting the things Iíve accomplished in my life and know the depth and emotion they bring me far outweigh my addictions.

I know that just like anyone ever created in the totality of history that I deserve happiness and health and prosperity no matter what my parents, ex-girlfriends, co-workers or anyone else who spews negativity ever told me. No matter how heinous I believe my past actions may have been, right now, in the here and now, I deserve all the good things everyone else does.

When I look in the mirror, I believe what I see, the things Iím proud of and the things I need to work upon. After I post this Iíll make a smoothie with frozen fruit, frozen bananas, cinnamon and fresh spinach. I really want a plate of pancakes, greasy eggs and bacon. Iíll always want that. Iím not going to punish myself. Today Iíll make the choice to inhale the smoothie and head for my gym. I canít tell you what Iíll do tomorrow. I just may make up that plate of pancakes. I probably wonít, but if I do, when I look in my mirror later on that day, I know Iíll still be loved by you and by me. You donít love me because of what I eat or donít eat; you love me for my heart and soul, just like I love you for the very same reasons. There are times Iíll slip and fall and I trust you wonít lose the look of encouragement you always give me. I promise you from the bottom of my heart, I wonít ever stop encouraging, and supporting you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAWRALOO 4/1/2011 3:57PM

    I firmly believe the word diet is a four letter word, but you're right...if I'm not on a diet, why do I feel like I am? lol

I love your honesty. It makes me remind myself I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be...and I want to be? If I were...what would I have to work towards?

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GIRANIMAL 3/31/2011 2:54PM

    I fell on a dietary landmine Saturday. Frozen pizza, four (non-light) beers, far too much cheese and caramel popcorn and a cupcake that seemed like heaven but must not have been because dear BF looked at me peculiarly and said, "Honey, they are not that good," when I lamented wanting a second. And he's a bigger chocolate fiend than I am. Talk about perspective. Suddenly I realized that I do actually binge now and again, and that it was a probably subconscious middle finger to all the new changes my chiropractor has suggested for me that I KNOW are good for me.

So I felt pretty crappy Sunday, both from the beer and the regret of my loss on control.

But it helped teach me that sugar really is a trigger for me. So I finally switched this week to stevia in my 6:30 a.m. coffee. And you know what? I can feel the difference in my brain after just two days.

So Monday I started the new regimen - with a lot of the same resentment you have for the gym and doughnut shops - and knew that my dear BF and you guys still love me. And that it was OK. Because I am not ACTUALLY what I eat, as great a metaphor as that is.


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TRACEY5280 3/31/2011 1:23PM

    As we won't stop supporting and encouraging you. I find if I can steer clear of my addictions for a while - alcohol, chocolate, bread - I'm ok. I seem to want them just a bit less. It's that steering clear!

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LYNMEINDERS 3/31/2011 3:49AM

    The clean your plate club was paramount when i was growing up so something got really rewired or screwed up for me along the

John...I just love reading your blogs...there is so many motivating and encouraging things for me to think about in them...

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MYSTERY4EVER 3/30/2011 10:55PM

    I don't know if we are hard wired, but we are certainly acculturated. "Clean your plate." "I'll be hurt if you don't eat this." And on and on. Food as acceptance. It is a struggle to hear new messages, but I am trying and from your blogs it seems that you are trying too. That is all we can do. Try and pick ourselves up and try again. Great blog.

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HDHAWK 3/30/2011 7:27PM

    You and I seem to have the same types of foods we need to avoid!

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PGNBRI 3/30/2011 6:33PM


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    I fell yesterday and landed on a landmine but just like you and everyone else who makes it in this diet war I'm right back here today.

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CARTOONB 3/30/2011 2:36PM

    I'll here to catch you, should you fall. And to kick you in the butt to get you moving again.

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KSGROTHE 3/30/2011 1:49PM

    This is a great and timely blog for me. I can relate to so much of it, and I need to read and reread the next to last paragraph, I think.
emoticon for sharing!

- Karen

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REJ7777 3/30/2011 1:31PM

    I love your blogs, because you're so honest about your struggles. I can relate to them. Your blogs usually make me smile and challenge me to *work my plan* in spite of the struggles.

"The tendencies I have physical and emotional are what make me the adorable person I have become. " I agree. emoticon

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SILLYHP1953 3/30/2011 1:13PM

    So...we accept the good, the bad, and the ugly and love ourselves anyway. You have a much better way of saying that, making it sound like I can do it. And that smoothie was sounding good until you added spinach. I like spinach, I just wasn't expecting that after all the fruit. Does a regular blender work for all that? I hate to admit it, but I've never made a smoothie. I think it might be time.

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/30/2011 1:13PM

    Yes, we do seem to be hard wired from birth; I'll always be a chocolate lover (the only time my mom craved chocolate was when she was pregnant with me, so it's from BEFORE birth with me!); however, I'm learning how to keep it from pulling me into See's every time I walk by. This is a long journey with lots of ups and downs, but we are worth the effort. You are loved--period, no strings attached. Knowing that helps me keep plugging along, and I hope it does the same for you.

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BRIGET66 3/30/2011 1:00PM

You look in your mirror and see John. Today, I read your blog and saw me. Thanks for saying what I can't and for motivating me anew every time I read you.
As always, your Blog was great. Almost as great as YOU!

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KELLY40222 3/30/2011 12:35PM

    I definitely agree that we are hard wired from birth! There are days when I truly feel like I am fighting against nature when my craving are so ravenous. Thank you for the great blog!

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LINDAJ0621 3/30/2011 12:16PM

    Another great blog, John! You hit home with so much you have to say and express yourself in ways I wish I could. I know I will also have to stuggle each and every day with this addiction of mine. My hope is I will win on more days than I lose!!! Just be there for me (virtually) when I can't resist those frozen Margharita's this summer!!!

emoticon emoticon

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TIME4AFITME 3/30/2011 11:59AM

    What a great blog! Thank you so much.

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ALLISON145 3/30/2011 11:50AM

    Great blog. I have recently admitted that I feel like I'm dieting too. I just do. If I ever figure out how to change my psyche I'll let you know! I'm definitely a sweets girl for now though. Yum!


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EMTFF376 3/30/2011 11:32AM

    very much looking forward to this weekend...maybe a run and a beer instead of a run and a salad. :)


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GEEMAWEST 3/30/2011 9:36AM

    I love you for being you. And I will love you more if you take me to the cheese shop with you.
emoticon emoticon

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MARCYNA 3/30/2011 9:13AM

    Very true,,,and, by the way, your addictions are all mine - plus one or two I cannot talk of in public, too embarassing emoticon emoticon emoticon
hugs hugs hugs

Comment edited on: 3/30/2011 9:13:46 AM

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MOMGABE 3/30/2011 8:54AM

    Great blog, John. I too believe that certain foods are my drug of choice. I can acknowledge my addiction and learn to live with it or I can let it control me. I'm in the fight today.

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MSSUNBUG 3/30/2011 8:24AM

    Not surprisingly, this resonates this morning. :-)

Thanks for posting this.

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NJMATTICE 3/30/2011 8:06AM

    I like your version of the "Popeye Thesis". ("I am what I am and that's all thats I am, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man TOOT TOOT") Knowing yourself and getting in line with what you truly want outta your unique (yet, very easily related to)experience. Go get 'em Popeye! (John) Enjoy that energy boosting smoothie and quality time with the "Missus" at the gym. Have a great day. You are off to a great start. Thanks for the thoughts!

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WIGIME 3/30/2011 7:43AM

    Thanks so much for this Blog John, you have really touched my heart.

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OUTDOORSDC 3/30/2011 7:28AM

    So, so true. Thanks for the hope this morning, John.

From: Another Emotional Eater

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MYGOLDENBOYS3 3/30/2011 7:13AM

    Thanks John. Good blog...and I, too, is what I is. Long journey and one that must be thought about every day. None of us is perfect and it is good to know that you will keep on caring!

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NASFKAB 3/30/2011 7:04AM

  We are always for you. Keep it up. Its tough but that's how it has to be most of the time

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Spark Rally

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Hi Guys

I'm writing to you to let you know there is a Spark Rally being held in the Cincinatti, Ohio area on the day and time I've included below. All and any information you may require is listed there.

A really cool side benifit is that you'd get to spend a whole day with me. That in itself is worth the trip. We only have 29 placers left!!!

I really hope to see you.


Florence KY/ Cincinnati area Mini Convention May 21, 2011 (Saturday)
drinks and snacks provided

29 seats remain as of March 27. Final Rally Sale! Tickets $9.99 each.

EVENTS include a live web conference with Sparkguy himself and a party Coach Nicole is attending!

Event Timing:
7:30AM-9 Set up

9-9:30 Arrivals/registration/gift bags/ registration for prizes

9:30-11:30 Speakers and Questions ~Indygirl, Hoosiergirlindy, Sheenadee, Ksigma1222, Swbdot2, Quadcmom, Kathyjo56, and 3rdstring

11:30AM-1:00PM Lunch Break

1:00 PM-2:00 PM EARPS Presentation: Veganism/ Vegetarianism/ Flexitarianism

2:00 PM-4:00 PM Video Conference with Sparkguy
Discussion of The Spark led by Ksigma1222,
Questions and book signing.

4-5 Carol Lee Scott- Green/ Yoga class
Coach Stepf has canceled due to being in Honduras

5PM Door Prizes and Fitness Swap

Rally Tear Down
Party Set Up

6:30 PM Post Rally Party with Coach Nicole
*all events still subject to being changed or moved.


There will be fantastic prize drawings at the rally!

Win one of 15 copies of THE SPARK or a DVD

Win one of 5 signed copies of THE SPARK signed by Sparkguy himself

Location and Lodging:

The Venue for the Rally will be:

Microtel Florence KY by the Cincy Airport
7490 Woodspoint Dr
Florence, KY 41042 US
Phone: 859-746-8100

Tickets are $9.99.

Using DONATE on the EARPS.ORG (Our Sponsor) website to buy your tickets will give you an immediate receipt.

Go to
Use the DONATE button.
under special instructions, put the Spark names of those who the tickets are for.

If you prefer to send a check:

-Make checks payable to EARPS.
-Put for Spark Rally in memo section.
-Enclose note with usernames and names of people coming.
-Your canceled check will be your receipt and you will be sent one for tax purposes as well.
-You will be added to our RSVP list as soon as we receive your check and list of who is coming with usernames if they have them.

*Checks may not be cashed right away, as they collect donations and make single runs to the bank every so often. They will be cashed and receipts will be sent out, but possibly not in a timely fashion.

Mail to:
P.O. Box 736
Brownsburg, IN 46112

Money from tickets will be used for the expenses of the rally such as catering, snacks, ice, program and information printing, labels, and anything else you can imagine that goes with holding a rally for 100 people.

All left over money will be donated to the not for profit organization EARPS, Exotic Animal Rescue and Pet Sanctuary. EARPS rescues exotic animals, gives them needed medical treatment, fosters them and finds them forever homes. It is non profit 501c3 certified, so your ticket price and any donations will be tax deductible.

If you decide to donate more because you personally want to do so, still remember to put Spark Rally in your memo portion.

All Ticket Sales are final and non refundable, but you can sell/ give them to another member. Just notify me of any changes by Sparkmail. I can always get information for you if you need it.

As always, if you have any questions or need help, just Sparkmail me.

*Note: This is a SPARK member and EARPS sponsored event.

Microtel Florence KY/ cincy airport
7490 Woodspoint Dr
Florence, KY41042US
Phone: 859-746-8100

49.99 reg room
49.99 suite inc wet bar micro fridge bigger
AAA discount

PLEASE CALL and Reserve your room under the name SPARKPEOPLE to make sure you get your room for the discounted rate of $49.99. To reserve at the Microtel:
Call 859-746-8100/ Tell them you are with the Spark People Group. If you reserve a room at the Microtel, please Sparkmail me privately. I just need the name the reservation is under to get our group credited for the room. ~Indygirl


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 3/30/2011 1:33PM

    Have a great day! emoticon

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CAROLIAN 3/29/2011 2:32PM

    Hope you all have a great day lol emoticon

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 3/28/2011 4:23PM

    I would love to go. It's not very far from where I grew up and it would be fun to see everyone. Thinking.... how to make this work.... hmmmm......

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MARITIMER3 3/28/2011 2:38PM

    I didn't realize there were Spark Rally's. Much as I'd love to meet you, John, I'll have to wait for one in Southern Ontario. emoticon

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SILLYHP1953 3/27/2011 9:31PM

    I need one held over here on the east coast!!

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FORMYDARLINGS 3/27/2011 4:15PM

    It sounds wonderful but way too far away for me. Canada it is. LOL Have a great day,


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JUNEAU2010 3/27/2011 3:50PM

    I joined this team when the dates were announced but dropped out when I realized that money for the trip was not going to happen. I will be there vicariously...

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GEEMAWEST 3/27/2011 2:20PM

    Is this where you, Dutchie, Barb and I are suppose to meet up to do the tequila shots?

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DOLLBABE56 3/27/2011 1:37PM

    Awwww, wish I were able to go... hope you have fun.

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KELLY40222 3/27/2011 1:17PM

    Thanks for the info!

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WATERMELLEN 3/27/2011 11:21AM

    Too too cool!

I'm jealous!!

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CARTOONB 3/27/2011 10:49AM

    Just seeing you is worth any cost associated! Woo Hoo! Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend. emoticon
I'm expecting pictures and blogs of the event!

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GREENCAT1 3/27/2011 10:47AM

    Thanks for the info, John!

Cathy emoticon

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It's Not What Happens, It's What You Do With It

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Iíve sat down to write this blog at least ten times in the past few days and I couldnít find adequate words to express my thoughts and feelings. Iím going to try one more time, LOL.

Two weeks ago I wrenched my back to the point that I required some moderate to heavy physical therapy. I strained the sheathing that encases my sciatic nerve so when it hurts the nerve hurts. (If I understand everything they told me) My exercise has been confined to walking and a bit of recumbent cycling. The physical therapist is also a massage therapist and she has been nothing short of amazing. I am mostly pain free and when I do get a spasm I know what to do. During a massage session late last week she began to press her thumbs on the arches of my feet. I yelped and jumped and turned my head to give her a really dirty look. We finished and she asked me to take this big envelope back to my doctor. My doctor made those doctor noises and got those doctor looks and simply said ďYour running days are over. This is not negotiable.Ē

Iíll spare you the details, half of which I donít understand. Quite by accident the therapist discovers I have plantar fasciitis and not just a mild case either. It appears that a lot of my aches, pains and physical woes are tied in to a disintegration of that tendon. To be sure, my doctor has ordered some tests, but before I left her office she told me sheís dealt with this PT for years and she has learned to trust her opinions. Thatís the background.

I didnít write this for sympathy or for kind words of assurance. They are welcome, donít get me wrong. In many ways not being able to run is devastating, because in the short year I have been working at it I have come to love it. More than once in the past few days, and even as I sit here and write this, I have struggled to hold back my tears of frustration and anger. ButÖÖÖ.. As I often tell anyone who will listen ďYou can visit pity city, you just canít build a house there!Ē My feet and legs hurt and I am not going to end up damaging my body just so I can say ďIím a runner.Ē The intellectual part is easy, itís the emotional part that is ripping me apart.

So somewhere in the middle of the night I decided that itís not really what happens to us itís what we do with it. I am allowed to walk and I have been averaging about three miles daily. As soon as I get the ok I am going to start some yoga classes and I am going to talk to the spinning instructor at my gym next week to see when I can start working with him and what I need to do to prepare. My personal trainer has logged a lot of time with me the past two days, mostly via text message, and all I can say is you donít pay for the kind of support she has given me. The best advice I received came from her. ďNo matter what, do not lose your focus.Ē Thank you Jen. In two weeks I am registered for a core strengthening class and my doctor has given me a tentative green light to participate.

I wonít give up. Itís not an option. This has devastated me emotionally but I wonít give in to it. There are other things I can do and they will provide me with just as much benefit.

I ran three 5Kís. I ran five miles once without stopping. I did that. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that would happen!!! I am so darned proud of me and what I did.

It is time to move on, to cycle or spin or walk and along with it not forgetting why I am here to begin withÖÖÖÖ to enjoy my life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRIGET66 3/30/2011 1:13PM

    Well John, I been out of the loop for a few days..had a nasty flu bug that about wiped me and my daughter out. So I missed this blog of yours.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your running. I tried running once with my was sooo HARD. We'd run, walk, run, walk. We kept finding trees to run to...then die til we got there..walk then go on only to pick another. But John, what a SUCESS you were! You did it! You were a runner! Now take that and apply it to that spinning class, that bike, those weights at the gym. (I'd LOVE to see you Zumbaing! You'd be Amazing there!!)
You've come so far if you're like any of us who used to HATE exercise only to find out we actually kinda LIKE It (love it even!)
You'll find something to replace running. And then look out world! (I might even be buying my first Zumba with John tape soon, eh?) emoticon

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TIME4AFITME 3/30/2011 11:56AM

    Sorry for you not be able to run anymore! emoticon

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TRIPLE_EMME 3/29/2011 1:32PM


I'm sorry for your loss.

I feel your pain. I truly do. I have plantar fasciitis, too. I trained for a marathon in a short amount of time -- all the mileage really took a toll on my body. After completing the marathon, I lost three toenails and discovered that I had plantar fasciitis. My marathon days are over.

I applaud you in working through your feelings and finding a new, healthy outlet.

Take good care of yourself.

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MAE5K11 3/29/2011 12:55PM

    I love your blog entries. Keep on pushing, you can do this!


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ANEPANALIPTI 3/29/2011 10:46AM

    life is full of unexpected things that happens this is but something to adjust do cause thats what we're always doing... adjusting to make things work for us right? stagnant and still in our habits is the road to disaster!

I believe ur going to have satisfying productive fun workouts even if it means running isn't one of them anymore! Im sorry though! :( Love,


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TRACEY5280 3/28/2011 10:43AM

    From the bit of your spirit I have glimpsed though your blogs, I am cofident you will find another venue. One thing that has amazed me is how many venues there are to get the heart level up and enjoy the activity. Yes, it stinks, but you will continue on. Life is just too precious.

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MARCYNA 3/28/2011 3:19AM

    Thanks for this blog. I really love to see you're getting stronger and stronger and, even if you love running, you will find so many ways to exercise....and I'm still hoping you'll be running again one day. Pray for this intention. Miracles occurr.
Love and many many hugs,

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MARATHONMOM26.2 3/28/2011 12:10AM

    I in no way mean to minimize your pain or your disappointment, but I'd like to say that there is life after running. About a year ago I had major foot surgery and my running days came to a screeching halt (after a stellar year+ with 2 marathons and 8 halfs). I was told no running for 18-24 months, if ever. I spent 6 weeks in bed, 6 months in a walking cast then crutches then a cane, and through it all I kept thinking of the day when i could exercise again. I took up swimming and cycling and 8 months post-op I participated in a tri as the swimming leg of the team. The following month I did another one, where I did both the bike and swim legs. My teammates did the running for me and while I was wistful I was grateful just to be able to get out there. I am now starting to walk again and am aiming for a race somewhere down the line... while I won't be able to even approach my previous times for that distance I plan to walk the best race I can, and you can too!

PF is nothing to make fun of so I hope you heal, but in the meantime, set new goals and keep on going!

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LYNMEINDERS 3/27/2011 10:38PM

    At least you are able to walk...praise God...and while it is not running it is still outdoor exercise and just a slower form of

Am so pleased that at least now you know why you hurt and are able to sort it....yay....

I must thank you for your blogs....they are very inspiring and motivating for me.....

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SILLYHP1953 3/27/2011 9:35PM

    Thank God you can walk. I'm sorry you cannot run anymore. I've never run (for fun) so don't understand the love of it, BUT I LOVE to dance and if I was told I could never dance again....

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LINDAJ0621 3/27/2011 7:33PM

    I would like to think I have come to know the type of person you are from reading your blogs. The person I see is a winner in every aspect of the word. You have already started to think of ways to replace the loss of running in your life. That is exactly what we should all be doing when faced by another way around the obstacle and get to that goal! I know you will succeed.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SNOWANGELDIVA 3/27/2011 2:58PM

    John, Thank you for sharing your heart ache. I know this was no 'accident', that your fall was allowed to protect you from non-reversible damage. It doesn't take the sting away from your loss. I'm truly sorry for the loss of running in your life.

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ACIMPEGGY 3/27/2011 2:34PM

    You're right, honey, in the not giving up attitude! We, of course, are not bodies, but as long as we're in this world with egos...we have lessons to learn by using our bodies. That's what they're for: learning and communication.

It is devastating not being able to the short term. Maybe meditate on it? That's what I want to get back to - meditation.

I'm facing kinda the same thing if I get the new knees the drs want me to have. No more country dancing. Walking moderately is ok, but no long hikes or aerobic walking. Gosh. Hopefully my knees will be able to bend to the extent I'll be able to ride my dual action exercise bike.

We just gotta keep plugging along, tracking, supporting each other and Sparking away!!! emoticon

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GEEMAWEST 3/27/2011 2:18PM

    I know you're not looking for pity or sympathy or any of that stuff but I am sorry that you aren't able to do the thing you love to do anymore. However, I know that you are a strong man and will do what it take to not lose your focus.

Plantar fasciitis is quite painful, I speak from experience. Listen to the doctor and continue on your journey, even if you do have to take a little detour.

Hugs, Cheryl

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WANDAH3 3/27/2011 11:06AM

    John, I'm sorry that running is not something that you can do safely...on the plus side...yay, you can still do so much. Walking, cycling, yoga, dancing,and the list goes on. What a blessing you have...the ability to be active.


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CARTOONB 3/27/2011 10:57AM

    I'm sorry that you can't be a runner. You can still participate in 5k's and other races by walking. I know, it's not the same. You'll find a new love. Enjoy your visit to pity city but come back to us soon.

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MADKAPKID 3/27/2011 10:13AM

    John, my friend, I am sorry you won't be doing the exercise you have come to love for awhile. But, I love that you have turned it around and have already found some new things to try. That is why YOU are a winner. YOU will reach your goals no matter what! YOU are doing it! Have a joy fileld day, Karen emoticon

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CBLANK20091 3/27/2011 9:44AM

I am so very sorry to hear this. Hopefully you will learn to love spinning as much as you love running, and you will not be in as much pain as you are now. It's not the end, it's a new beginning my friend.

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NASFKAB 3/27/2011 9:42AM

  Sorry that you are losing something you loved doing but from the little i know of you from reading your blogs you will find something else. Its just some time before you reach your goals

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HDHAWK 3/27/2011 9:30AM

    I'm sorry for the loss of an exercise you love John. I know you well enough to know that when the initial disappointment passes, you'll find new ways to challenge yourself. It's only a matter of time before you reach your goals!

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AKATUJE 3/27/2011 9:27AM

    One of the songs on my running playlist has that message. You have been an inspiration for me to run.. I look at your picture and know that I too can do it. Even though I am sad that you will not be running again, I am happy and proud of you for what you have been able to accomplish. You take that determination with you, and the other sports you can do will open up a whole new world for you.

I pray that you will find joy and exhilaration in another sport... soon!!!

Best wishes, emoticon

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NJMATTICE 3/27/2011 9:10AM

    Sorry for the loss of your new found joy. There's a new joy just around the corner to be sure. I am a joyful swimmer! Keep up the good work. And thanks for working so hard at sharing your journey just as it is.

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KATHRYN1955 3/27/2011 9:10AM

    Any dreams of being a runner were dashed 4 years ago when I had a nasty break of my ankle and lower leg. However, I amaze myself at the progress I have made. With the encouragement of a wonderful trainer at the gym, there is no end to what I CAN do, even though running, skating and leaping from tall buildings are not in the cards. I even regained my much loved relationship with swimming, which I hadn't done for years.
Just remember that often in the face of hardship, something better than we ever dreamed of comes along.
Keep your focus!!

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_AIYANNA_ 3/27/2011 9:09AM

    Let me begin by saying I'm sorry for the news the doctor gave you. I know how much you love running, but I also know that you can and will excel at anything you decide to do next. I believe your attitude is admirable and you have every right to be proud of what you have accomplished so far.

I know I am very very proud of you and especially proud to call you my friend : )

Take very good care of yourself xxx

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MSSUNBUG 3/27/2011 9:06AM

    You know I can relate to loving running yet being sidelined from it! When I was in that space, it opened up these lovely new doors for me--I became a yogi, a swimmer, and a cyclist--and REALLY became those things. I've gotten to develop a practice in several disciplines that allows me to keep pace with people who focus on only one of those sports. Without the injuries I had that kept me sidelined from running, I'd have NEVER broken my focus on running long enough to find those things or try my hand (or feet, ha) at them, and I would SO have missed out. In hindsight, what an absolute BLESSING.

PF is a runner's nightmare. My good friend in my training program is currently suffering from it. I'm surprised that the doctor appeared to suggest you'll never run again--unless I'm misreading that. PF IS, in fact, something that you can recover from in time and with the right PT and rest. If you want to run and that's where your heart is, you'll do it again. I have some suggestions, btw, about some running techniques you might look into in order to stay relatively injury-free when the time comes and when you're ready.

My deepest sympathies for the heartbreak of being turned away from a sport that's opened up a whole other world and identity for you. You're right--you HAVE accomplished a lot in your running so far, and I know in my heart that you'll do it again. I know this doesn't make it any easier though to stomach not being able to run NOW. I know this VERY well. I also know though that your athletic accomplishments are not all in the past tense.

And, on the other hand, biggest smiles and well wishes for you because the universe (or whatever/whomever you believe in) just opened a huge door for you with a world of other things for you to explore. It's almost like, "So you think you're a runner, John? Check out all these other opportunities and be sure." What a great opportunity for exploration in front of you! Have fun with it. Lean into it. Fold into the message and use it as a lens for understanding the FULL RANGE of your inner athlete!

Much love,

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DOLLBABE56 3/27/2011 9:02AM

    Yes, you should be proud that you have run 3 5k's!!! That is something I would love to say. That being said, now it's time to start a new challenge. Spinning sounds great. I'll bet you will love it! Your attitude is what will make it happen. You enjoy the challenge. So go and enjoy it. I'm happy you are my friend.

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EDWINA172 3/27/2011 8:52AM

    Thanks for posting this. I have a few clients who are going through similar situations. You will find your niche. There are many forms of exercise and it appears that you are already on your way to explore them. You have accomplished much. Be proud.

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LOSE4LIFE47 3/27/2011 8:50AM

    You have the right attitude. We have to look at positive things & not negative. Don't ever give up.

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Blocking The Sun or Getting In My Own Way. (Once Again)

Friday, March 25, 2011

I was poised to have a really good week. I was headed to Nashville on Monday and Tuesday to teach a seminar on communication issues. I havenít seen some of these people since before Christmas. I was excited about catching up with them. I have a new coaching client. I had my first meeting with them yesterday and I always enjoy getting to know people. Itís a new person with a fresh set of goals. It always energizes me. Later this afternoon I have a massage scheduled and tomorrow we help our youngest celebrate his twenty fourth birthday.
Then I decided to get in my own way. I donít know if it ever happens to you but with me I get this feeling of somewhere between being a super hero and God. Conventional wisdom gets lost in the shuffle along with nutrition and exercise. Forget about The Spark, The Scale and The Gym. You are John, you are on a roll and you can cut the heads off those dragons in short order, canít you? Sure you can, sure you can.

You have been a Sparkler for going on two years and havenít you lost a total of seventy one pounds? That little self-deceiving voice says ďTYVM logic and reason, Iíll take it from here.Ē You forget about that harmonic balance of body, mind and soul.


My largest issue is getting in my own way and sabotaging myself. Itís heading out of town without a good nutrition plan. Itís not planning my day so there is time for exercise in a surprisingly well equipped hotel gym. Itís cocking my head towards the sky and saying ďIíll take it from here.Ē Itís buying into all the myths and fallacies all over again.

Without balance in my life, without harmony, without the admission that I canít do this alone I am doomed to repeat the same behavior over and over again. It is no wonder when I step on the scale, that it didnít move from the past two weeks.

The good news is Iím here, again, today ready to begin again, ready to create more balance in my life and hopefully I am a bit wiser for the experience.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACEY5280 3/28/2011 10:47AM

    Oh how I know that cocky feeling! And gained back 10 lbs! Working on getting back to what works, what I KNOW works, and living a healthy life. Thanks for that post.

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MARCYNA 3/28/2011 3:24AM

    Right attitude; right frame of mind; the force be with you!!!!! emoticon

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JPRICE217 3/27/2011 10:11AM

    I very good eye opener I do the same thing. O how I need o get back on track.

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/26/2011 3:50PM

    Recognizing the weakness, naming the achilles heel makes you stronger, because then you can work WITH it.

U can totally do this John. :-) I believe in you!!!!


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KC1948 3/26/2011 3:33PM

  Hi, JohnT. I never realized, until I read your post, that my grocery store alsohas two entrances: one by the fruits and veggies aisle; and one that goes by Starbucks, pastries, etc. Thanks for the honesty, inspiration, and insight.

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KATHRYN1955 3/26/2011 2:54PM

    It is indeed an ongoing struggle. There is a commercial out (I forget just what it is about) that says that you have to head into the wind if you want to get off the ground. I have just decided today to get back to Sparking in earnest. It is so easy to forget how far we have come and to focus only the negative. Also it is so easy to only focus on the scale/measurement portion of success instead of the more intangible measures like the support of wonderful friends and family, healthier lifestyle choices, new skills etc. Perhaps we are more afraid of success than failure (after all, we are used to failure!) and that is why we sabotage ourselves on a level that we can see and feel.
Anyway, hang in there, as you can see from all the responses, we are truly all in this together.
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WALKNLOVE 3/26/2011 8:31AM

    TYVM? Anyways, isn't it funny how we think to ourselves, "you've got this, no problem", when that's what got us in this mess to begin with? HAHAHA We just have to laugh at ourselves sometimes.I KNOW I can't do it alone.I'm glad I have God on my journey to help me, or I would have given up along time ago. I am also thankful for friends like you who "keep it real". Thanks for sharing with us, and helping us keep it real as well, and let us know, that we are all in this together :)

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MARTHA503 3/26/2011 3:55AM

    Can totally relate. You, know 2 steps forward and 3 back; Thank god there's always the opportunity to start anew.

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GEEMAWEST 3/25/2011 10:15PM

    You're right on with this one, John. But then, of course, you usually are right on with all of your blogs.

And........I agree with Barb. emoticon

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CARTOONB 3/25/2011 9:57PM


I've found that when I don't plan, I do so much worse. I have my breakfast, snacks, and dinner planned for tomorrow. Must need ot get lunch planned so I can be in calorie range...on a weekend!

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LYNMEINDERS 3/25/2011 9:43PM

    I know exactly what you are saying here....

Everytime I succeed at this I sabotage myself.....working on changing it.....

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MADKAPKID 3/25/2011 4:23PM

    John, its step by step. Some days it may be a step back...but each NEW days offers us a chance to step on forward again. YOU have been doing well and have an amazing story to tell. YOU can do this. I know you will! Have a joy filled day, Karen

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DIASTER 3/25/2011 2:26PM

  Right on. You have the ability to put into words exactly the same things that are playing around in our brains.Wonder why we think we can just take over and do it our way when our way is what go us into this state in the first place.You seem able to hit it right on, could it be we all have the same general struggles with food choices and mental lapses? Or maybe we are just human

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REJ7777 3/25/2011 1:59PM

    We need to be ever vigilant! I started slipping a couple months ago, and regained 13 lbs. *Thinking* about exercising, rather than actually doing it. Eating trigger foods. I've been off target mentally. I think that what's different about this time, though, is that we catch ourselves before we slip too far. I've moved back from thinking to doing, and the scale has started moving back downward. I think there's a way in which this battle will be lifelong, and we can do it!

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GIRANIMAL 3/25/2011 12:57PM

    You know, I still want to believe that one day you WILL be able to "take it from here." That's the point, isn't it? For living healthfully to become second nature. So perhaps balance and patience, dear friend.

Or maybe I am projecting. emoticon Either way, I know you'll work this out. You always do! (Actually, it sounds like you already have.)

Sorry so busy this week and just catching up -- miss you!

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ALLISON145 3/25/2011 12:14PM

    You can do it, John! Just don't give up!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/25/2011 12:05PM

    There will be those days and weeks for people who fall off the wagon but people who never quit never have to really fail. They just take longer to get to the finish line.

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LINDAJ0621 3/25/2011 11:48AM

    I think most of us here can relate, John. I know I spend a LOT of time getting in my own way..LOL. But, the winning part is knowing that and getting back on track. You are obviously a winner!!! Have a wonderful day!

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/25/2011 11:48AM

    Every day, every moment we have a chance to start again--which is a good thing, because I need lots of restarts along the way! Lack of planning is what trips me up over and over; you'd think I'd learn that and ALWAYS plan ahead, but no, I don't. Glad you're here, we need one another!!

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VMASSEY1 3/25/2011 11:35AM

    I know exactly what you mean. We will be going to Las Vegas at the end of April and I am wanting to stay with my plan. We do this every year and I always end up sabotaging myself before it is over. One year I was going to go to Curves every day we were there and it cost me 20 dollars to just go one way. Someone from the club brought me back to the hotel. The hotel has a gym and it cost 30 dollars a day to use it. I was going to walk and take the Duece and by the time I got to the bus stop I had already walked 1 mile. So I used that as my exercise because when I walked back that would be 2 miles. But yes we need to get back on the horse again and ride off into the --- wherever we need to be. But I know from whence you come. Good Blog. emoticon

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CHUEYSMOM 3/25/2011 10:39AM

    Been there done it! Took the is great to be able to start again each week. =)

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HLPRATT 3/25/2011 10:24AM

    I know exactly what you mean!

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SMOCKON 3/25/2011 10:24AM

    LOL! It's like my boss says (and I agree): God is my secret weapon. I'll handle it until something comes up that is totally beyond my abilities, and then I'll whip out God and let him take care of it. Reminds me of the George Lopez line: "Angie, I got theeeeeess!!" That line usually comes right before a disaster.

As always a great point, and one that hits me hard. Thanks!

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TRIPLE_EMME 3/25/2011 9:58AM

    I'm glad that you are here, again, today!

I wish you balance, my friend.

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TRAVELGRRL 3/25/2011 9:44AM

    I was reminded the other day that we are presented with the same lessons over and over again until we learn them.

We hear the message of God and the Bible endlessly in different forms each Sunday; we learn the same subjects in school year after year; why should this be any different?

While it is something we will always need to work at, I believe eventually weight control will stop being the struggle it is now. Have faith!

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MARITIMER3 3/25/2011 9:37AM

    Hi John - I can so relate, and I'm sure everyone else reading today's blog can too! Your honesty is refreshing. We all set up situations to sabotage ourselves (or block the sun), but we often tend to make excuses... you tell it like it is.

You're back on track today. You are a success... you've lost 71 lbs. for goodness sake! I'm looking forward to hearing of the birthday celebrations. Have a great week-end.

Gail emoticon

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SILLYHP1953 3/25/2011 9:37AM

    It is rather easy to get humbled...and something I need to learn over and over. Humbleness.

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DOLLBABE56 3/25/2011 9:22AM

    here here!

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NASFKAB 3/25/2011 9:11AM

  Good comment you are so honest about what went wrong

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