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Me and My Scale or Honesty Part Two

Friday, March 04, 2011


Availible on youtube @
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN54Figt5
p4

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSSUNBUG 3/8/2011 8:01AM

    I've had a roller coaster relationship with the scale myself! You're right--it's a report card, but it's also a bit fickle. It takes so little to throw it off! I found that a month-to-month (rather than week-to-week) report was fine for me--and kept me "honest" for the month.

My "issue" with the scale is that my reliance on it interfered with my ability to tune in to my body and that inner voice which is WELL AWARE of how well or not well I'm doing with my eating and exercise. Using it as a tool, a teacher, as information is a good thing--but for me, not at the expense of honoring and HEARING that voice that knows you've done right (no matter whether the scale agrees or not).



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BRIGET66 3/7/2011 6:26PM

    Well John...I had to laugh when I listened to your blog because the same thing happened to me. I don't know how many times I (like you) thought I was doing Amazingly, eating well, exercising more days than I didn't only to hop on the scale and find out I'd GAINED 2 lbs. Or the opposite, I'd fall of the wagon so to speak, eat WAY over my calories "allowed", veg in front of the t.v. and LOSE 3 lbs! (And more than once I might add!) Since joining Spark People I've actually gained 6 lbs! I started off doing really really good, had that motivation...worked out, tried to keep under the calories allowed for the day. Then I kinda slacked for 3 days, ate too much and didn't get in any workouts. Right now, the scale is NOT my friend!! But it's okay...this time I'm not giving up, I'm just gonna accept that I'm gonna mess up once in a while. take it one day at a time and keep on reading all these wonderful posts.
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Comment edited on: 3/7/2011 6:28:04 PM

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VICKI-N-FLA 3/6/2011 6:22PM

    I really liked what you had to say and I think I'm going to adopt the idea of treating the scale like a report card. Your blog really got me to thinking so thank you for that. emoticon

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LINDAJ0621 3/6/2011 2:58PM

    Well, that explains it! I was always an over-achiever in school..worked hard for those A's! Now, I know the scale is my report card, maybe that will motivate me to earn those A's again. Thanks!

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DOLLIE6 3/6/2011 12:27PM

    Thanks John for being there.

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SWEET-T 3/5/2011 2:55PM

  emoticon emoticon

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AKATUJE 3/5/2011 5:08AM

    emoticon for yet another great blog!!! My scale and i have had a love hate relationship, but of late i have realized that it really gives me feedback on what i am doing. It really is my report card on this journey!!! These days i treat it with respect, after all, it is only telling me whether what i have been up to is beneficial for my journey or not.

But i gatta say, i love the "last minute" results!!! And that is probably the reason i am not yet at goal.

Have a great weekend!!! emoticon

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BETHSTL 3/4/2011 9:38PM

    Hi John! Love the Bluegrass music :)

That's a great idea to think about your scale being your report card. Never thought of it that way. Thanks for sharing your ideas with us!

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SNOWANGELDIVA 3/4/2011 9:28PM

    I LOVE banjos!...Blue Grass, hard to dance to, but, luv its energy.

You have a radio announcer/teacher voice; clear, rich, and easy to follow ...vlogging works on you!

Scale=Report Card...this works for me too.
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REJ7777 3/4/2011 7:23PM

    I find that my scale is a tool that gives me valuable feedback, just like my pedometer. emoticon

Have a great weekend!

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WOULDBESLIM 3/4/2011 6:07PM

  Hi

Well thank you for your honesty in sharing this. When I get on my scales and notice what is happening, I have taken to using three questions which hopefully make a positive difference to my goals.

1. What did I do well ?
2. What could I have done better?
3. What is one small thing that next week I can do differently which will most help?

Keep on keeping on - the rest of us and with you in this

best wishes

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KELLY40222 3/4/2011 10:23AM

    Happy Friday John! I tend to think of my scale as more of a parole officer. If I slip up I make sure to get right back on track, since I have to report in to the officer!

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JUDIL62 3/4/2011 10:18AM

    Thank you John. I posted a blog response to your blog....check it out:

http://www.sparkpeople.
com/mypage_public_journal_indiv
idual.asp?blog_id=4065671

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EMTFF376 3/4/2011 9:14AM

    Hi John!

Thanks for the video blog.

I used to use the scale as a diagnostic tool, then decided to go to the "clothes fit" method once I got to my goal and was exercising on a very regular basis. I used to tell people, don't worry about the number. Well, at this stage in my game, that number matters. It is a good measuring stick, but it shouldn't rule your life. I have to remember that when I gain muscle, I gain weight and that's okay.

Have a great Friday and weekend!
Big hugs from your WV pal,
Janette


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Anthem 5k Photo

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Someone snapped this photo of me Saturday and found my email address via bib number and sent it my way. Just thought I'd share.......

My immediate reaction is I need running shorts that fit, LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 3/18/2011 9:40PM

    One of theses days I'm going to have a big number on my chest...you inspire me.

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MARCYNA 3/10/2011 12:51PM

    I like this boy in the picture emoticon

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IFDEEVARUNS2 3/8/2011 11:23AM

    emoticon Job well done!

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NEENSTER1 3/7/2011 5:46PM

    emoticon emoticon job.

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SPMCCANN 3/6/2011 1:42PM

  Well done John. That took courage.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow". ~Mary Anne Radmacher


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JUNEMOLLY1 3/6/2011 2:09AM

  Congratulations - you cannot fAIL now - I am taking a leaf out of your book John - emoticon

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KAT573 3/5/2011 1:08PM

    NEAT! Looks just fine and dandy to me! Good job! emoticon

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GREENCAT1 3/5/2011 9:44AM

    Great photo John!

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HDHAWK 3/5/2011 9:12AM

    emoticon

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AKATUJE 3/5/2011 5:09AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GEEMAWEST 3/4/2011 8:32PM

    Love it!!

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ANGELSANDYBABY 3/4/2011 4:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TRIPLE_EMME 3/4/2011 9:48AM

    emoticon

THAT is my runner friend in that picture!!!

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WALKNLOVE 3/4/2011 8:57AM

    Good JOB!

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CARTOONB 3/3/2011 11:54PM

    You look like a runner! Huh...a runner AND a tucker! You are going places!

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:02PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:02PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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DOLLBABE56 3/3/2011 10:01PM

    Wow, you look great!!! Way to go John. :)

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BLUEEYESXOXO 3/3/2011 9:31PM

    Looking strong! :) emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/3/2011 9:22PM

    You are looking really good but I agree that a guy who has lost this much weight deserves some new exercise duds.

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LILIVW 3/3/2011 8:04PM

    Great picture!

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MKPRINCESS007 3/3/2011 7:28PM

    You look so amazing! I am so proud of you! Running a 5K is amazing enough, but in the cold takes an extra special person! Go YOU!

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MSSUNBUG 3/3/2011 7:24PM

    You look strong!

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GRACENFAITH 3/3/2011 4:07PM

    Congrats, you look your having fun! What an inspiration to others!
emoticonWalking with Christ

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WISEONE68 3/3/2011 3:30PM

    Lookin' GREAT!! WooHoo!!! emoticon

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SWEETNEENI 3/3/2011 2:33PM

    YAY FOR BIG RUNNING SHORTS!!! And the awesome guy wearing them!!! emoticon emoticon

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SAMDJS 3/3/2011 2:05PM

    That picture is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!! Way to go!

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LUVMYK9S 3/3/2011 2:03PM

    emoticon emoticon

Great pic! Thanks for sharing! It does look COLD though ... great perseverance to keep going when its that cold and in baggy shorts no less!

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KELLY40222 3/3/2011 1:31PM

    Way to go John!

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GIRANIMAL 3/3/2011 1:29PM

    I love it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Except, man, it looks cold. (I believe you mentioned that it was.) Bonus points for you for sheer determination.

Ha ha -- maybe you're going to help baggy pants make another comeback! That would be kinda awesome. If I remember my high school days correctly, super-baggy pants make one's waist look smaller. emoticon

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PRINCESSNURSE 3/3/2011 1:26PM

    I LOVE IT!

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REJ7777 3/3/2011 1:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/3/2011 1:02PM

    LOL--great action shot, even if the shorts are a bit baggy!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Being Honest With Myself

Thursday, March 03, 2011

If I told you I found the secret to success and happiness; if I told you that you could wrap up all of your self-help books and sell them at the book and music exchange; if I told you that you never had to track your food or exercise, ever again you wouldn’t believe me, would you? You’d be anticipating that now famous line “But wait there’s more……” Well, friends I found it, quite by accident, but I found it and it’s as plain as the nose on my face. It’s called honesty, more specifically being honest with myself. I can be honest with and about you until the cows come home. I can be supportive and loving and all that cool stuff but until I am honest with myself about who and what I am and how far I need to travel, then it’s just a really nice exercise.

BTW: Honesty does not mean beating yourself up. It’s why we are afraid to examine it. Some brilliant person many eons ago took the basic principle of physics and applied it to everything in God’s creation: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” We’ve taken that maxim and engraved it upon our souls altering it to mean “For every fault there should be an equal amount of guilt, pain and frustration and oh BTW I’ll never into my dream outfit!!!”

So let me be honest

I abuse food. It’s my drug of choice. Everything I have learned in the past fifty seven years tells me what is good for my body and what will ultimately harm it. I choose to ignore those warnings. I’d rather dwell on how difficult it is and give myself a pass. My grocery store has two entrances. The first leads you right into the produce and health food departments. That’s where all the good stuff is. The second entrance barely allows you the opportunity to catch your breath when you are accosted by a display of cookies, cakes donuts, pies or candy, depending on the time of week or the season. I know when I walk through door two I am most likely going to grab something that isn’t good for me. It may taste good. It may provide some gastric pleasure, but when I step on the scale every Thursday I really shouldn’t be too surprised when the needle doesn’t move, should I? If I walk through door number one I am more likely to get a more positive result. Door two tastes better but door one gives me a long term result…… one I am looking for.

Honesty drives everything about us. Only I know when I’m not telling you the truth but in short order it begins to show. When I am not honest with myself I get results because I can adjust the way I live to help me reach my goals and objectives. When I tell myself “it’s okay to cheat,” then as my trainer told me once when I wouldn’t hold a plank correctly, “The only person you are cheating is yourself, John.” Amen.

You don’t need to take a billboard out on the interstate and advertise your flaws. Find out what’s holding you back and come up with a plan to deal with it. Pat yourself on the back for being brilliant enough to think of it. Honesty has nothing to do with guilt. It has everything to do with seeing how far you’ve come and realizing how far you have to go. We treat it as a sad occasion but really, isn’t it a cause to celebrate? You’ve found the secret of your success.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITPT4LIFE 9/8/2011 3:33PM

    I too am an addict to food working on being more honest with myself. I guess we all are, obviously. Thanks for reminding us of the greater task at hand, being honest with ourselves.

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ROSADELDESIERTO 8/1/2011 5:05PM

    Thanks for sharing, it really touched my heart and made me put into action my own honesty. emoticon

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SUPERSYLPH 6/29/2011 9:37AM

    emoticon

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GRANDMABABA 5/28/2011 8:10AM

    Thank you for reminding me of my own biggest downfall...opportunity.

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DELIALOLO89 5/24/2011 12:27PM

  emoticon

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RUTHE_51 5/15/2011 2:02PM

    I loved your blog. I am really at a point of being totally honest with myself so that I can keep off the weight I have lost and finish losing what is left to lose. Excellent blog!!

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EUNIQ3 5/12/2011 12:45PM

    This is sooo true!! And I think once you are honest with yourself then everything else seems easy!! It's just the honesty thing that keeps us from moving forward

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OKGOATGAL 4/24/2011 8:47PM

  GOOD post! so true. honesty with yourself can make a huge difference!

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ANNI101 4/20/2011 3:37PM

  Love this post, John. It made me realize I wasn't being honest with myself about my efforts. Deciding to take an honest look at what I'm doing made me finally decide to take the time to use the nutrition trackers. And now I see where I was getting off track and what I need to do to reach my goals. I'm on a good streak now -- thanks John!

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GETUPAGAIN 4/20/2011 12:43PM

  Thank you. This will be my focus for the next while until I really "get it'.

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FARMERGIRL63 4/9/2011 12:10PM

  Yes John I hear you and know exactly where you are
coming from. When it comes to feeling better about
yourself, only you can do it nobody else can do it
for you as I have been told.

But as far as my eating habits go, I am not a big
sweet eater and never have been, but I do enjoy
the other side of foods and that is the salty stuff
that appeals to me and at times that can be just
as harmful as the sweets can. So I cut back on that
as well.

But my biggest problem was that it wasn't what I
was eating that harmed me, it was the point that I
always wanted to snack or eat before going to bed and
I was told that is not good either.

But look to the positive side of things and you will
succeed. I wish you the best in whichever path you
take to a healthier life.

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BOYDCJ4477 4/7/2011 3:00PM

    So true! emoticon

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GOLIGHTLY7 4/7/2011 7:21AM

  emoticon
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BLEWISFLA 4/6/2011 2:07PM

    This is so true. Thanks for sharing. In order to recover, I must be honest with myself and it is simple but not easy! emoticon

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MCONDIE22 4/5/2011 10:36AM

  Thank you for being brave and putting yourself out there. This rings true for me. That is why I will take this to heart. There is no better time to change then now.

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JANALE 4/4/2011 11:32AM

  Good Job! Well Said! Now to apply in my own life!! Thank YOU! emoticon

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SWTTXHUNNY 4/4/2011 9:45AM

    Good blog. People naturally beat themselves up on their flaws, especially women. It's getting over the negative thoughts and concentrating on our inner beauty, special qualities, and building our self esteem that we find the courage to overcome our obstacles. I like the sitting down and writing things out. That way you visually can see your qualities and reasons why you're wanting to make changes. God made each one of special w/ flaws and we need to embrace that. :)

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NOTINTH 4/1/2011 6:39AM

  Just started two days ago on this site and wow, John I think you hit it on the head for me! This helped greatly! hmmmmmm, I will now have to go back and add the extra tater tots to my nutrition plan for yesterday... Bah! But in the end, what you say is true! I am only cheating myself! Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share!

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SHRUTI_SARAOGI1 3/31/2011 10:19AM

    Wow, John! Your blog is just wow! I mean it says so many things in so little words. The sentence were you say - " "The only person you are cheating is yourself, John." brings one face to face with reality because when I am feeling down even I feel that I can let go for just a day and that day more often that not turns into three days! It's bad, it really is. Just today I was convincing my sister to go out and have pizza (yes, it's one of those days and I just ate out yesterday!) but right now I am sitting and eating a bowl of watermelon. Thanks for the blog. It really gives me something to think about!

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JBAERGEN 3/31/2011 10:07AM

  Thanks for your bravery! emoticon

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HONEYBEEZ 3/31/2011 8:45AM

    Thank you so much for sharing this blog....I've struggled with "drug" (food) abuse for too many years, but still have allowed myself the luxury of denial. I needed to see this...not so that I can self-flagellate (beat myself up), but so that I can move on. I'm tired of being stuck in this rut.
Again, thanks.

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KRIMMI515 3/30/2011 10:44AM

  I agree with what you have to say. I am realizing that making changes is an everyday thing that needs to be accepted as part of life. Yes, we all have choices. Trusting yourself to make the right decision and standing by the decision to validate yourself and be honest with yourself is the hard part. It is easier to do things that others say is right for us, than following through with what we say is right for us. Thank you for your words.

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HONEYBEEBUZ 3/29/2011 10:10PM

    Must say this is right on.. when we try and fool ourselves.. we fool a fool. LOL

I am personally tired of just ignoring the facts... I am totally involved now in my new healthier lifestyle. Always searching for ways to make my daily eating lifestyle better and more delicious!

Sparkle On all!
Debbie

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RJFERRARO315 3/29/2011 11:19AM

    It's so hard to be honest with ourselves. I struggle with this daily. Thanks for sharing your insight.

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BISSA7 3/28/2011 8:28PM

    that's so true! honesty is truly underrated. it's so much easier and more comfortable to lie to ourselves about these things or willfully ignore what we're doing.

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HEALTH4MICHELLE 3/28/2011 7:24PM

    Thank you for posting this! I am trying very hard to be honest with myself and it's nice that I'm not alone.

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WFOUCART 3/28/2011 6:04PM

    I have lost weight but have just started to peel layers off to become more honest with myself about my life and my goals. Without the honesty and the self-confidence to go with it, everything in my life will never be fully back in my control. I hope that the many people that are in this community can also become introspective and use the information for their future success in all aspects of their life.

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MAYBER 3/27/2011 4:46PM

    Thank you so much for sharing your views on honesty
It is what many of us avoid and especially the honesty with self
Am the only one who has to face myself each day in the mirror and on the scale
For the most part am honest with myself and where I am headed because this time am doing it for myself and not for someone else or some special occassion
One day at a time
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VIRGO_QUEEN 3/27/2011 10:47AM

    I love this blog! To me, when I'm being honest to myself, I do look at my self with guilt; i feel guilty for letting my self get to this size and guilty for failing to do something about it. But like you said, the fact that I log onto spark everyday is a cause for celebration. Thanks for posting this!

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RKAPETAN 3/26/2011 1:07PM

  I really liked what you had to say. Especially the part about about not taking on the guilt, but celebrating the "aha" moment of recognizing you can't fool yourself!

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KOSMOS123 3/25/2011 10:09PM

  Thanks for your words of wisdom. I have been struggling with this very problem lately and your blog really hit the nail on the head with me. Honesty is hard for me as is celebrating my victories however small. Hang in there and keep blogging.

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ANDI44 3/25/2011 12:28PM

  Thanks for your inspiring words, John. emoticon Best of luck to you....I'm sure you will be successful!

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WILL-BE-THIN 3/25/2011 10:54AM

    So very very very true!!! Thank you for reminding me!! I too can tell others what to do and that THEY have to be honest about THEIR food and exercise, BUT it's ME that has to help ME!!! Best of luck on your journey and thanks again!!

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CLWALDRO 3/25/2011 6:38AM

    Honesty can set us free because we are able to deal with true reality not some fiction we have created in our mind as being the truth. My father once said that" if you are honest then you do not need to remember all the lies you have told". I think this works with ourselves as well. If we are honest about who we are and where we are we can make changes that really last not try to keep lying to support the fantasy we have created and think is reality.
I am glad you have found the secret and more important that you shared with all of us so we too can have happiness. emoticon

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SUSHIMAMA1 3/25/2011 3:54AM

    so true!!!!

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NANCYGORDANIER1 3/24/2011 2:08PM

  John, you have hit the nail right on the head! I wish you had told me this a year ago. I spent most of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 feeling disappointed and confused as to how to proceed. A few weeks ago, it suddenly came to me that I was not fooling me. I quit smoking and started strictly watching my diet on the same day. To date, I have been a nonsmoker for 2 weeks and have lost 10 pounds. Okay, I do have to keep making myself accountable, but I expect to lose the additional 50 pounds this year! Thanks for the insight and moral support.

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THORNSANDALL 3/24/2011 12:09PM

    Awesome blog

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GRACENFAITH 3/24/2011 12:00PM

    What an inSPIRITation! Another reason, I know I am blessed to know via the web. Thanks! Have an amazingly blessed Thursday!
emoticonWalking for Christ

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COWGIRLNM 3/24/2011 11:24AM

  THANK YOU!!

Comment edited on: 3/24/2011 11:25:07 AM

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EVERGLAD 3/24/2011 10:54AM

    Thank you! You are wonderful and on top of that you are right. My mom taught me to always be honest, but when a person goes through a hellish time they don't always think straight. It seems that is when we get into trouble. Dark traumatic terrifying horrible situations make for out of control behavior. The light at the end of the dark tunnel is when coping, awareness and truth is revealed. I agree absolutely that guilt should never be involved in the process. I hope each and everyone of us has that awesome moment of epiphany.

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ALPINESUMMIT 3/23/2011 11:48PM

  Thank you John for your honestly. You've only confirmed what many of us, who are trying to get on the right path, already know. Get real with yourself and the rest will follow. Stay strong.

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COFFEE_MEL 3/23/2011 10:14PM

  Honesty is an universal truth, but it can be really hard to get all the way there. Thanks for your words and your story! Now I know that honesty is step 1 and the most important one. Good luck with everything!!! emoticon

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QUINCIFARI 3/23/2011 10:13PM

    Excellent post!!! We all have to make choices, most importantly for ourselves and be honest about it. If you're not getting the results you want and not paying attention...you can't blame anyone but yourself.

Thank you for your honesty!! Being honest with ourselves is the biggest step :)

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LILMSHAPPY74 3/23/2011 9:39PM

    I think you said it best.....Being honest with ourselves is the real beginning....Thank you for the story :)

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EIFERT2 3/23/2011 5:03PM

  I am not one to blog; however, I could hear my own voice in your words. So many times I have chosen the wrong path and later am remorseful; however, by that time I have sabotaged myself. Etch time I eat what I know isn't healthy for me I tell myself I will eat this this time and that will be last. Etch time I am lying to myself. I want it to be the truth, I even pray it will be the truth; alas, I go right ahead and make the wrong choice the next time too.

I wish you good fortune as you go through door #1!

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BRUINSFAN17 3/23/2011 5:02PM

    This was exactly what I need to read today, being honest with myself. Thank you for your insight! Best of luck on your weight loss journey!

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MYRNA929 3/23/2011 4:44PM

    I'm with you! liked your post

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KELLYTHEFIT0710 3/23/2011 3:45PM

    Thank you for sharing your awakening! I need to hear about getting honest and I appreciate your insight. Good luck on your journey! emoticon

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HULACRICKET 3/23/2011 2:58PM

  You said it all and you said it very well. Thank you for putting it very simply. Now the ball is in my court to make it work simply!

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CONNTESSA 3/23/2011 1:58PM

  Thank you for your story,Its refreshing to know that it never to late to get it right.

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Trusting Myself

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Opinions are like elbows, everybody has one. All you have to do is look out into the blogosphere and you will find that anyone with a lap top and an internet connection can espouse truths for all of creation, for all of time. Just ask me, LOL. I’m one of them. Who do you listen to? Who’s right, who’s wrong? Who do you listen to? I am learning that as I build my own self confidence that the person I listen most to is me. I have trusted friends, people who guide me and whose opinions I really respect but in the end, it’s me I listen to, because I know me, love me and respect me better than anyone I know. I couldn’t have said those two years ago. Like a lot of us I had a dark and dirty secret: I followed the crowd. I latched on to the trends and fads. I did it to be accepted and after all aren’t “all of us smarter than one of us?” Not always.I am learning that while you and I are so much alike we are also so very different from each other. I am learning that I can gain wisdom from many sources and then patch it together like a beautiful quilt that will help me reach my goals. I make it mine.

Back in October, when I fell and injured myself, I did not want to run in that race. I didn’t feel ready, but my son and daughter-in-law, fresh from their honeymoon and all of full of joy and bliss “really wanted to do this with me. It would be special.” I didn’t feel right about it. In my mind I wasn’t prepared for it and even before I tripped and fell I just didn’t feel like things were going very well. I should have begged out. Lord knows there are other races to be run, but I didn’t and I suffered the consequences. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. That taught me a major life lesson. It taught me that in a really healthy way my well-being comes first. If you read my blog yesterday you know something good came out of that experience but I can’t help but wonder, if I had went with my gut feeling, would I be a bit further along.

God often reminds me that He can’t do the things I ask for until I get out of the way and let Him. I do them for the same reasons you do. I want to be liked, loved and feel a part of the group. I don’t trust myself because in my deepest darkest soul all I can see sometimes is the flaws, and the mistakes. So I cling to other peoples thoughts at times and pray that if they worked for them they have to work for me. Wont I be loved then, just like everyone else?

Don’t misunderstand. I have trusted advisors. I have people whose opinions mean a lot to me. Some of them are here at Spark, and what they have taught me is to value myself. What works for me isn’t always going to work for you. I have to continue growing if my own faith and my own confidence in my ability to make the best decision for me.

In the end the long term gain far outweighs the short term pain. There is a lot to be said for the old phrase “To thine own self be true.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 3/18/2011 9:35PM

    Ah yes, the gut feeling, that feeling you are always supposed to listen to, guidance from your higher self.

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DEE797 3/3/2011 9:35AM

    Another wonderful blog and a reminder to listen to that inner voice. emoticon

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MYOWNHERO 3/3/2011 9:10AM

    Aha! It's called wisdom and I'm hoping to get some one day :D

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REJ7777 3/2/2011 7:17PM

    emoticon

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MARCYNA 3/2/2011 3:57AM

    I love the quilt image, I always thought of life as a beautiful mosaic..and agree with you, trust your own wisdom emoticon

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MSSUNBUG 3/1/2011 10:04PM

    Amen! Trusting in our voice is so difficult, but it's our very best advisor and friend. Putting yourself and your health first also means putting that voice first. You're right that you can piece together insights and advice from other people into your own patchwork quilt that works for you--I'm of the firm belief that nothing can be more valuable than this; and you can make no better use of others' insights than that!



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MYSTERY4EVER 3/1/2011 7:32PM

    Great blog. I have been trying to listen to my body and my voice; not those of my husband, kids, family, etc. It has really been helping me.

Hope you recover soon and can go running again.

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HDHAWK 3/1/2011 6:40PM

    This one really hit home, especially the part about doing what you need to do for you and not for others (even when they're family).
Love it!

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DIASTER 3/1/2011 4:59PM

  John
Sure hope you can see what an important lesson that fall taught you, well actually several lessons.
You have reached so many people by not having the "perfect" outcome. Patience, perseverance, humility, the guts not just so say the heck with this. Once again you have reached out and helped the multitudes. Not saying that God tripped you but one might wonder.
So happy that you are out of your funk. Spring is on the way, you should see it soon as the flowers and trees are all blooming down here and the robins were heading north last week. Whole new season full of opportunities. Enjoy. And again thank you for your thoughtful blogs.

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GIRANIMAL 3/1/2011 4:56PM

    Thanks for yet another great reminder! I went through a patch within the past couple of years in which I was so depressed because I felt like I didn't even have an inner voice. I couldn't hear it, and when I thought I did, I was convinced that I was either making it up or it could not be trusted. As I am slowwwwwwwly gaining confidence and real self-worth (earned slowly as I stop comparing myself to others!) I am starting to at least believe that I have some inner knowing. Once in a while I even believe what it has to say. emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/1/2011 4:28PM

    Great blog, John. Learning to recognize and listen to that inner voice, to trust yourself and believe in yourself, is so important. I've shut it down many times and generally regretted it; we can learn from others, but we each have to find what works for US and make the choices that fit us. We journey together yet no one will walk exactly the same path.

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WORKINGSTIFF 3/1/2011 1:52PM

    John-

Thanks for the great blog...we all need to be reminded at times to listen to that inner voice.

Helen

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GRACENFAITH 3/1/2011 11:51AM

    Thanks...just what I needed after my own blog. God works in mystical ways!
Have a blessed Tuesday!
emoticonWalking for Christ

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FATBOTTOMGRL1 3/1/2011 9:45AM

    What a great blog and oh so true! However, this is something I must learn to do, as well. So much easier said than done!
I blogged today, too. I thought I had forgotten how this whole weight loss journey works. I have been off the grid for so long. However, I haven't forgotten. After blogging. Reading your blog, i haven't forgotten, I haven't put trust back into the equation. I let my Moms words, be mine. When in truth, my Mom had no idea what she was talking about. Her idea of losing weight was not eating. Worked for her, not for me! Even though my Mom has been gone for 2yrs, I still hear her words, instead of mine. I know that is something I need to get over. I need to put my trust back into myself.

Thanks for the blog. What a revolution for me!

emoticon

Karah

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EMTFF376 3/1/2011 9:42AM

    I love your blogs, John. I feel like I've known you forever after I read them. I wish I had something deep and provocative to offer here, but my first thought was "opinions are like elbows.... hmmm... I usually refer to another body part... you are more diplomatic than me".

LOL!

Have a great one today!
Janette


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Learning To Persevere

Monday, February 28, 2011

I fell down October 9. I fell down very hard, tore up my right knee and my left wrist. It took my knee over two months to grow new skin and if I hold my wrist the wrong way, a sharp pain shoots up my left arm. Thank goodness I’m still good looking. It was my second 5K. I’d run my first just two weeks earlier. I was full of enthusiasm, joy and determination; until I fell down. My daughter-in-law said that one minute I was right behind her and the next minute she thought, “Huh, John is flying past me. Wait a minute. He’s really flying past me!!!” I tripped on an expansion joint in a bridge and fell in a most spectacular manner.

I was determined though. Two days later, arm all wrapped up and knee all bandaged I ran again. You can call me brave or bold or determined. I’ll be kind to myself and call it a really bad error in judgment. It hurt, but I was scared, scared that if I didn’t keep running I wouldn’t be able to run again. It hurt a lot but I kept running. In early December I hurt my left knee. The doctor said it was similar to a race horse stepping the wrong way. He told me it was “bad luck,” and to stay off of it for three or four weeks. I walked, pedaled a stationary bike and wondered if I’d ever run again. Mid-way through the month of January I started to run again. I’d run a mile and feel pain in the bottom of both my feet. Initially I wrote it off to not running for a month. The pain got worse. I talked to my doctor who uttered those two words no runner ever wants to hear “Planter fascia.” I did what every reasonable person would do, I went home and Googled it. I had one symptom out of four and refused to believe that was the problem. I purchased new running shoes; the pair I was using was eight months old and a bit worn, still no relief. I got new inserts and listened to a small voice in my head that told me to take a week off.

Joan told me in all the years we had been married she had never seen me so frustrated. I would wake up in the middle of the night and lie there trying to figure out what to do. I prayed a lot. I got an answer through a Spark friend who had gone through some suffering and some frustration of their own. It was distilled into one word, repeated over and over,” Persevere.” I have to admit that when I first read their advice I was a bit disappointed. I was expecting some sort of magic formula. Each day was an exercise in perseverance. There were more dark days then sunny ones. There were days that everything ached. I have an issue where my right leg pronates and the tenser I get the more it pronates until I feel my whole gait falling apart. I consulted a running coach who told me that when I noticed the pronation getting severe to stop running and walk. That hurt my pride!!! My confidence went in the tank. It wasn’t only my running, I was no longer sure of anything I was doing. My weight bounced all over the place. I wasn’t very motivated, yet every other day I’d go out and run. I had registered for the Anthem 5K in Louisville back in November. It is the first major 5K of the year and usually draws well over ten thousand runners. I kept looking at the calendar and getting more worried. I wasn’t sure I could do this!! What is I hurt too bad, what if I stumbled, what if………..?

I was glad Joan had to work Saturday morning. She would come to Louisville later in the day. I would be alone and I was grateful in a way. If I fell apart only a bunch of strangers would see it. I left my hotel and walked to the race sight, about six blocks. It was 35F and it was still dark out. I must have stopped to turn around five times. I could always say it was too cold, or I couldn’t find the race sight, or I could come up with something. I was glad I didn’t.

If you have ever been around the start of one of these events you know what the electricity is like. It almost crackles in the air. As I warmed up with fourteen thousand other people I started to feel that wonderful tingling in my tummy. It became clear why I persevered. All the aches, the pains, the doubts, the starts and stops were now worth it. I stood there getting ready to run and I can tell you there was no other place I would have rather been. It all made sense to me.

I ran my race, I persevered and as I made the turn to run the last half mile or so down Main Street I gave one of those Tiger Woods fist pumps to myself and yup there were a few tears in my eyes. I crossed the finish line and lifted my eyes towards heaven and mouthed the words “thank you.” I have a habit of writing the names of some Spark friends on a piece of paper before I run. They are people who for whatever reason can’t run right now. I run for them because frankly during the race I draw some strength from their support. I squeezed that slip of paper.

I persevered. My wise Spark friend was correct. Running is just like life. If you believe, if you want something bad enough you will endure and in the end you will be treated to a most wonderful feeling deep down inside of you. It’s a feeling of pride, accomplishment and satisfaction that you did indeed persevere. It may have nothing to do with running but everything to do with you, what you are and who you are about.

If you are reading this and you are skeptical I can tell you six short weeks ago so was I. Then I learned to persevere.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 3/18/2011 9:31PM

    You have the grace of endurance.

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RAD062010 3/5/2011 4:01PM

    Your words and your messages are so inspirational.

emoticon

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DEE797 3/3/2011 9:39AM

    Thanks so much for sharing this blog with us. I'm training for a half on March 20th and reading this gave me the courage to continue and persevere.

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WALKNLOVE 3/2/2011 10:36AM

    Doing my best to persevere....thanks for a great blog! I needed it!

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MARCYNA 3/1/2011 9:13AM

    WooHoo for you, John, you're such a strong warrior. I was sure you'd make it. And you did. At the moment I'm a bit skeptical about myself - about my own race.But I know together we can make it. Thanks for sharing. emoticon emoticon

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AKATUJE 3/1/2011 3:22AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Vamos John!!!!!!!!!!

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JUNEAU2010 2/28/2011 11:25PM

    emoticon
I'm not a runner YET.....

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HDHAWK 2/28/2011 8:11PM

    Cheers and congrats to you John! emoticon

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MKPRINCESS007 2/28/2011 4:51PM

    This blog is the ultimate proof for me that EVERYTHING, no matter what it is, is MIND OVER MATTER. Truly. Because the head games that we play can sink us, or make us get up tomorrow and try to swim again. Our brains are our secret weapon, and they can provide success regardless of our bodies.

You are a winner, plain and simple. That dogged determination to get up and fight another day. That's what I am talkin' about!

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CARTOONB 2/28/2011 2:41PM

    Congratulations.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/28/2011 2:35PM

    "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.




Live it, John. Congrats on the race.


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GEEMAWEST 2/28/2011 1:48PM

    You're always a WINNER in my book, John! I'm so happy for you.

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REJ7777 2/28/2011 1:26PM

    What a motivating blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CMBELISLE 2/28/2011 12:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 2/28/2011 12:15PM

    Aaaaaaaah BRAVO!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud. :)

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LUCYSRAIN 2/28/2011 12:13PM

    From the deepest heart felt feelings I have to say...

Congratulation John!!!

Your a winner emoticon

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CHANGEDIN09 2/28/2011 11:14AM

    WONDERFUl. Hope you are better.

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TRIPLE_EMME 2/28/2011 11:03AM

    emoticon

I'm glad that you persevered and ran your 5k!!!

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GETFIT2LIVE 2/28/2011 10:29AM

    John, I'm sitting here bursting with pride for you. I know what a hard time it has been for you since that fall, and how important it was for you to do this. Running teaches us so much; there are so many analogies in it to the race of life, of losing weight, of developing a healthy lifestyle. Perseverance is one of the key ones; way to go, my friend!

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SARAWALKS 2/28/2011 9:36AM

    What a wonderful testimony to encourage us to persevere!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I am going to remember all this as I go into week 2 of the Spark Virtual 5K training thing!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRINCESSNURSE 2/28/2011 9:11AM

    I always say the people who deserve the loudest cheers are not the elite runners at the front of the pack, but rather the ones that are behind them. That is because the runners toward the back have had to overcome so much (be it mentally, physically or both) just to be there. You did it-- Way to go John!

"The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that must precede the victory" ~ Ted W. Engstrom

Comment edited on: 2/28/2011 9:30:11 AM

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OUBACHE 2/28/2011 7:50AM

    Another great, inspiring blog! I'm so glad you persevered and listened to your instincts. Keep up the wonderful work.

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BTINTERNET 2/28/2011 7:41AM

    What a great blog to wake up to! Hooray for John the Runner!

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WENDYSPARKS 2/28/2011 7:16AM

    Glad you are doing better now.

Wendy :)

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