Saturday, December 04, 2010
I received A Spark Mail the other day from someone I don’t know real well. The jest of what they wrote was to ask me to quit writing blogs that were, as they put it, “downers.” They told me I had a “great responsibility to other people,” and that I should “lead and inspire, not make people dwell on their short comings.” In all honesty I had to grin, simply because if I only wrote when I was on top of the world you might only here from me about once every three months or so. I grinned because I understood. I used to strive to be on top of the world 24/7, and when I didn’t I just knew there was something I had to have done wrong. (It’s the people pleaser/control freak/emotional eater in me!!!) One thing I am learning is “what works for me.”
What works for me does not always, if ever, work for you and vice versa. It would be like you and I going shopping. You find a hat that looks really great on you and you receive a million compliments on how well it looks before you even reach the counter to pay for it. I automatically assume it is the hat to end all hats, I run back to grab one even though it doesn’t fit, it’s the wrong color and I can’t afford to pay the sale price. All I see is that it works for you.
My wife, Joan, has weighed approximately the same weight for thirty seven years. Yes, she put weight on during pregnancies and the like, but basically she is within ten pounds of what she weighed when we got married. Her health is excellent, her blood work superb. She is a meat and potatoes eater and drinks enough Diet Pepsi to make it worthwhile for me to own stock in the company. I eat like that and I put on fifteen pounds in thirty minutes.
When I start being someone else other than who I am, I am no longer John and to be quite honest with you I did that for a long time and found out I wasn’t really happy. I call it lying to myself. I want to be accepted and loved and cared for so much that I’ll do just about anything to achieve that, even if it is not right for me. That’s when everything heads south.
I write what I think and feel and it is not always warm and fuzzy because I don’t always feel warm and fuzzy. I write what I write for two reasons. The first reason is that when I see it, write and speak it I can make it a real part of my life and either add it or remove it. It’s the same reason I read what so many of you write, it inspires me. The second reason is I write to share my struggles because maybe someone else is struggling and they read what I write they will not feel so alone.
I have gone back to walking two miles every morning. I just feel better when I do and I get to insert my reflective time during the walk. I am reaching three or four goals and feel much better the rest of the day. I still run and work with Jen and do all the other exercise things I enjoy, but that two mile walk sets my day off right. It works for me.
Far too often I get caught up in comparing and analyzing what I read and see and wonder about. I’m finding out that being honest about me and my life is what works for me.
What works for you?