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Trusting Myself

Friday, November 19, 2010


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANEPANALIPTI 11/22/2010 6:49PM

    Oh, I can so relate. ABSOLUTELY its about the "not trusting MYSELF".... YUP YUP YUP.

BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!R>
Thank you for telling me something really important... that its not going to happen automatically. We have to practice.

Wow, "so somebody will affirm me" I could be saying these words... Gosh.

GREAT VLOG emoticon, we're going to do this... I know it.

I hope you can come to Chicago this December!!!!!

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RECIPE4ME 11/20/2010 8:15PM

    WOW that is so me! I need to learn how to trust too!
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HDHAWK 11/20/2010 11:29AM

    People pleaser, yes. Learning to trust and is it difficult, yes again! You always know just what I need to hear.
Enjoy your weekend!

Comment edited on: 11/20/2010 11:30:00 AM

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JPRICE217 11/20/2010 9:03AM

    John you are worth it !!!!! This blog realy hit home . It could be me. You gave me so much to think about. emoticon

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MARCYNA 11/19/2010 3:34PM

    I am not a control freak but I know what it means to be one...Anyway, you're doing perfectly and helping us all, you're as trustworthy as can be emoticon

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BTINTERNET 11/19/2010 12:41PM

    Thanks much for this insightful (as always) vlog. One of the things I have been facing working with Dr. T (my trainer) is getting around the head-game of trusting that I can do it (lift this, do one more set, etc.) It's the reverse of the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak - in this case the flesh can do amazing things if only the spirit would give it the chance.

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LUVMYK9S 11/19/2010 12:37PM

    Seems like I have some of the same issues as you John. I too am a people pleaser and somewhat of a control freak. I enjoyed the alarm clock analogy, I generally wake up before the alarm clock goes off and then just toss and turn watching the clock until it does ~ is it because I don't trust it to actually go off, or is it because I don't trust myself to wake up on time? Thank you for the enlightening vlog, I realize now that I need to practice trusting myself to be successful.

Have a most wonderful weekend with your family!

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MSCOCOPUFFS01 11/19/2010 11:36AM

    Heard you talking about Chicago and Milwaukee. We are moving to that area in a few months. Probably closer to the Milwaukee area. I trust you have been there b4. Anything good or bad points you could tell me about it? Is it family and kid friendly? Also looking at the Beloit area if you ahve been there. :)

I get that whole control freak because you don't trust thing. I think that describes me too. I have issues trusting my alarm clock but my issues are, I set it but then think what if I didn't turn it on, so I check.. then I check again..and again.. it's obsessive almost. You always make so much sense and things just click in my head. Thank you!

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2BEATIT1 11/19/2010 11:08AM

    John
Your blogs are so refreshing. I like the video because it gives us a chance to really hear your heart beat (not literally).
You give us so much to think about as you are working through your journey.
I guess in some ways, you made me realize I am also a control freak....maybe not in a big way but in little ways. I need to know everything is under control.
Thanks once again for sharing your heart, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend as you celebrate with your sister.
God bless you and have a safe trip.
Jean

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SARAWALKS 11/19/2010 9:52AM

    Hi John, I haven't seen your vlog in a long time (just busy busies) but I wanted to tell you, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC! the whole air about you is more vibrant and alive, you are smiling and you seem to have dropped a whole pile of weight, and I don't just mean pounds! It is a delight to see you doing well.

I am a control freak too...began to realize & work with it in the 90s...and in the late 90s God plopped me down in a church, working with volunteers, where there was just NO WAY I could control things. So I had to learn to deal with me and to TRUST me and to trust God to be in control.

And whaddya know, it happened. I resigned as general manager of the universe. (also had to learn I couldn't please everybody).

so hang in there, it will take a while, but I have a feeling you are not going to sleep through it! Have a good journey and a good party with your sister! emoticon

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EMTFF376 11/19/2010 9:39AM

    I'm so glad that my sparkfriends let me know when they aren't going to be around. I am a natural born worrier and I'm good at what I do! LOL

Have fun at the party! Happy birthday baby sis!

Trust is very hard. I am a control freak, but I have the opposite problem you do. I guess maybe control freak isn't the appropriate term. I'm a perfectionist and I am anal retentive and I do like to be in control. I like things done a certain way. However, I trust everyone... and I have been burned numerous times (most notably by my exhusband and my "friend" who were cheating on me). I will tell a complete stranger my life story, I treat everyone like my best friend. Will it bite me in the butt? yep, but I can't not trust. Without trust, you have nothing.

I listened to all the things you need to work on. Please don't keep reflecting on all of them at once. You may overwhelm yourself and not accomplish any of them. Set yourself small goals and work towards them. One of my goals on my psyche side is to accept compliments. That has been the hardest for me. I was always the fat, nerdy kid. I'm still the nerdy kid, LOL, but I have the mental image of that fat kid still. I embrace my geekdom, but cannot embrace the fact that I am at a healthy weight. I guess that's my trust issue with myself.

Sounds like we both have things to work on, but I believe that we are in the right place (here at Sparkpeople) to do that.

Have a wonderful weekend with your sister. I will be on the ambulance all weekend.

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Vloggers Challenge Week 8: Lets Get Physical

Thursday, November 18, 2010

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JPRICE217 11/20/2010 8:54AM

    great blog emoticonon all of your accomplishment. emoticon emoticon

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MCCOURTT 11/19/2010 9:13PM

   
Great VBlog, thanks for the smile for the day. Boy do I understand on figness goals. emoticon on everything you done!

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ANEPANALIPTI 11/19/2010 5:58AM

    This blog makes me happy and makes me smile. :-)

John, we're DOING this!!!!

HAVE FUN AT SPINNING! OMG I need the swimming lessons too, I feel the exact same way in the water. GREAT idea your trainer had it is going to help SO much!!!!!!! PERFECT cross training!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know exactly how you feel about doing everything alone.... !!! Can't wait till one day we can run a race together! :D

Dimitra



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CARETHELADY 11/18/2010 11:06PM

    You should be so proud of your accomplishments and keep working towards your new goals emoticon

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WANDAH3 11/18/2010 5:20PM

    Congratulation on 64 pounds eliminated! Awesome work.

You are looking great and sounding so pleased with all your successes... and so you should.

Thanks you being an inspiration to me.

Hugs,
Wanda

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MARCYNA 11/18/2010 3:52PM

    I can see you're getting better and better, more focused on your goals every day...you're a great role model for us sparkers... emoticon

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SMOCKON 11/18/2010 9:55AM

    I saw that little smirk when you said you were a runner! If you done it, it ain't bragging. emoticon

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How May I Help You or Should I Just Ring Your Neck

Thursday, November 18, 2010

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 11/21/2010 6:25PM

    Great insight! emoticon

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WALKAWAY 11/19/2010 3:37PM

    John thanks for the great blog.

I've had one boss who has been adding way too much drama to our work environment. I've always been one to ask what I could do to make his day easier, but to be quite honest I've been really ticked at him for his attitude. But Monday I'm going to go ask "what can I do to help you?"

Thanks for the reminder.

emoticonAddie

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ANEPANALIPTI 11/19/2010 6:34AM

    I RAISED MY HAND LOL! emoticon I have done the "um um" COUNTLESS times. You were CRUCIAL in helping me get over it and MOVING on. I've discovered so much. THANK YOU JOHN

How funny. A SWEETS basket.

Gosh, you are SO insightful.

This is YOU = emoticon

Keeping Joan in my prayers! emoticon

Dimitra

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KARRYB73 11/18/2010 9:51PM

    Great VLog! I need to learn to use that more with my staff and children. Hope you got home safely!

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MARCYNA 11/18/2010 4:00PM

    This is really great and I am looking for situations in my life I could perform better on the basis of your attitude emoticon emoticon

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JJSSKINNYGIRL 11/18/2010 1:55PM

    Another Great blog. Holding in Anger and stewing only stirs the pot!! Thank you for another great Blog!

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DEE797 11/18/2010 1:43PM

    Thanks John, it's another insightful blog. So much to think about and put to good use. Do hope your meeting with her and her supervisor went well.

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SMOCKON 11/18/2010 10:08AM

    The take-away message I'm getting is that stewing over a situation doesn't help resolve it. While it may not be your responsibility to supervise this planner and help her out, it is a creative way of doing something to relieve your frustration. I think too often we turn to negative ways of relieving frustration (raising our voices, saying the most hurtful thing we can think of, EATING, etc.) and don't consider positive ways to do that. Hmmmmm....this may help me with my younger daughter, who is very challenging to deal with just now. Thank you!

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SPARKENISTA 11/18/2010 9:51AM

    John--
Sorry to hear that your conference had so many glitches in it.

While you are thinking that you could have been more proactive in helping this young woman plan your event better, and that could make you feel more in control, the fact is that for whatever reason she failed to come through.

Yes, on some level you understand b/c you have kids her age. That does not change the fact that she messed up in many important ways. Apparently, other planners assigned to your events were able to fulfill your needs better.

I don't know that being over-responsible and second guessing every possible thing that could go wrong is really the answer. The fact is that she dropped the ball. Period. Your job is to show up, run your seminar and pay the bill. You should not also have to do her job and supervise her.

It is appropriate to be angry. In fact, I would ask for a reduction or rebate. A sweets basket (even if you wanted it) is not adequate to make up for the inconvenience and the possibility of your losing clients. I'm sure that what ever the subject matter was, it was designed for self-growth and moving out of your students' comfort zones. They should not have to worry about the food, the accommodations or any of the ancillary services. Neither should you.

Particularly during this difficult economic time, there is no excuse for poor service. I know that I am being a hard nose but there IS no excuse. You have every right to be angry. I hope that your meeting turns out to be satisfying and that you get some recompense for your frustration.

Best,

Me
rry



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HLPRATT 11/18/2010 9:45AM

    Thanks John Good thoughts for today emoticon

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Those Two Words

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I began last night with this question: ďHow grateful are you for the person sitting next to you and how often do you let them know that you are grateful?Ē I am in the midst of a seminar for two groups of people who have been convinced they are natural and mortal enemies --- local labor leaders and front line supervisors. From the beginning of their journey they have been told the person across the table is the ďbad guy.Ē

ďHow often do you utter those two little words ---- THANK YOU?Ē It was quiet for a few seconds. Folks were doodling on their legal pads, moving around in their chairs and staring at the ceiling. Finally one voice in the back of the room spoke.

ďIím not going to thank anyone for doing what they get paid to do. Itís their job.Ē

ďSounds like no one ever bothers to thank you.Ē I observed.

Those two words are the most powerful phrase in any language. They imply acknowledgment, value and worth along with the simple pride of knowing that you have been recognized not only for what you do but for who you are. Most of us have a hard time finding our own value all by ourselves so we find validation form other people. Those two words often make the difference between a really good day and a really bad day. You and I have that much power in what we speak. We have the ability to lift up or to destroy. They are short, sweet and to the point. They thank you, the individual, the entity, the person and soul that you are for simply existing and being part of another personís life. If the whole world did this on a regular basis, folks like me would be out of a job!

Thank you. Yes, I am talking to you. Thank you for being you with your insights and observations, Spark Mails and Goodies. I donít acknowledge it often enough.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALKAWAY 11/19/2010 3:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GEEMAWEST 11/17/2010 9:25PM

    Thank you too! You Rock!

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MKPRINCESS007 11/17/2010 7:48PM

    Right back at 'cha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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WANDAH3 11/17/2010 5:59PM

    Well said my friend, well said. THANK YOU John for always have truth to share with all of us.

Thank you...such simple words, but they really pack a punch.

Hugs,
Wanda

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ANEPANALIPTI 11/17/2010 4:04PM

    You are the THANK YOU GOD!!! Thank you for always reminding us about this important life practice. You rock John! :D

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KT-NICHOLS-13 11/17/2010 12:27PM

    Please and Thank you ... I know both were drilled into me as a child from all the adult people around me. I still use them daily - if not hourly, a lot of folks don't.
Thanks John putting it out there and keeping it real.

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JJSSKINNYGIRL 11/17/2010 10:53AM

    John-

You inspire me in ways that I could never have imagined!! You have me on the brink of success every time lately, and one of these days, something you write is going to hit me like a ton of bricks, I just know it!!

In any case, YOU are the one I should be thanking. You have helped me change my life!


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2BEATIT1 11/17/2010 10:08AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
to you also John.
I, for one, truly appreciate your depth and vulnerability of your blogs. You give us all much food for thought.
As you talked about the 2 powerful words " emoticon" it reminds me of the Scripture of the power of the tongue to produce good or evil.
Let us all be the former with allowing kind words to come from our tongue beginning with emoticon
God bless you John and THANK YOU again.

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WORKINGSTIFF 11/17/2010 10:05AM

    Thank you for a great blog and for a reminder that 2 little words can make a world of difference.


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TRIPLE_EMME 11/17/2010 9:44AM

    emoticon

I needed this blog, today.

I especially like your two sentences: "You and I have that much power in what we speak. We have the ability to lift up or to destroy." SO TRUE!!!

Thanks for being YOU!!!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 11/17/2010 9:40AM

    Thank you is a powerful phrase. I recall when we went to visit my MIL at Barnes and the R.N. and aide came in and cleaned her up. When they were preparing to leave I thanked them both for taking such good care of her and the expression on their faces spoke volumes. You would have thought I had given then $100. It's apparent that they are not thanked nearly enough. We are a very rude society and some societies are worse. And thank you, John, for the reminder.

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MISSROCKABILLY 11/17/2010 9:05AM

    This was something I needed to read this morning, as I've been having a pretty rough time recently.

Thank you John, for sharing this, and just for being you!
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MARCYNA 11/17/2010 9:01AM

    Gonna thank my students as they sit there and listen emoticonPS Thank you John. I owe so much to you emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/17/2010 9:02:08 AM

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EMTFF376 11/17/2010 8:12AM

    Its amazing that some people think that physical, tangible rewards are good enough and that they shouldn't be bothered with having to incur the emotional reward (HASSLE) of saying 'thank you'.

I worked a cardiac arrest the other day, doing CPR while the wife of this gentleman bawled her eyes out and held his hand. My support crew showed up and I asked if one of them could take over chest compressions for me so I could try to get an IV in the patient. Tell me that isn't high stress. When my crew member took over, I said "THANK YOU"... and yes, we do get paid as well. I go out of my way to say please and thank you to my crew members because I know they are just as stressed as I am in situations like that.

Please and Thank You go a long way with me. A pat on the back will keep me going for months. Heaven forbid someone sends me a thank you card or gift (its happened once or twice), I'm good for years!

Thank you for posting this blog. I hope lots of folks read it and realize the importance of "those two words".

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 11/17/2010 8:12AM

    I wish you could give a seminar to the honchos at the company for which I work. This is the most negative atmosphere I've ever been in. I try daily to spread positivity but I feel like it's a drop in the ocean. Makes it hard to come to work some days!

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HDHAWK 11/17/2010 8:10AM

    What a simple thing to do, yet it doesn't happen often enough. I hope your meetings help these 2 parties come to a resolution.

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A Message For You

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

ďDonít give up. No matter what, donít give up.Ē

I am not really sure why I write what I write sometimes. There are days I just get a feeling or something keeps running through my head and all of a sudden itís on paper. To be honest, quite often a lot of what
I write doesnít even inspire me!!

ďDonít give up. No matter what, donít give up.Ē

This whole health revolution you and I are in the midst of is hard work. Forget the glossy 8 x1 0ís and the success stories there are days we feel like we are in the middle of field, the winds blowing and we are all alone. I always keep looking skyward for a host of angels to come and rescue me but I always end up finding my way out of the field on my own. I have been there before. Iíll be there again. It wears me out, angers me, gets me all worked up inside.

ďDonít give up. No matter what, donít give up.Ē

Hope doesnít have a really good marketing strategy. We talk a lot about having faith in ourselves and we talk about loving one another and sharing that love but very little attention is given to hope. Hope is the virtue that keeps us going. It is the knowledge that on the other side of darkness there is indeed light. Some days hope is all we have. Itís the constant flame burning bright in a universe of darkness. Its light becomes so very bright that it blinds all those failures and whispers ďSomeday youíll put it all together.Ē

ďDonít give up. No matter what, donít give up.Ē

Itís a new morning. You have a blank sheet of paper in front of you and your rear view mirror is broken so you canít look back. Maybe you opted out of an exercise class last night and you woke up in the middle of the night feeling guilty. Maybe you snagged a candy bar on the way out the door because the good Lord knows you are one busy person and to be honest it really didnít taste that good. You are ashamed that you are scared that everyone else you know is going to find out your scared and feel awfully alone sometimes, so you eat.

ďDonít give up. No matter what, donít give up.Ē

There is hope. Maybe it seems far in the distance or maybe you canít identify it at all. Itís there. Hope thrives and grows when you and I persevere and no matter how many failures we seem to have we get up and keep on moving.

Donít quit, donít leave, donít give up. You are as precious in the eyes of God as any other living creature and you deserve happiness and health.

You are here reading this and you feel a bit more steady and the candle of hope burns just a tad bit brighter.

ďDonít give up. No matter what, donít give up.Ē

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMALLERMELORIE 11/18/2010 3:20PM

    Thank you for the words. I sometimes look at how long I have been on Spark and how little progress that I have made and wonder....Your words made me think "where would I be without Spark".

Thanks again

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MOTIVATIONFOUND 11/17/2010 9:50AM

    This is exactly what I needed to read right now. Thanks, John, for another great blog. :)

Hope you have a wonderful day.

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2BEATIT1 11/17/2010 1:53AM

    Wonderful blog John.
As I read it I was reminded of the verse in Hebrews 11: "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen."
God bless you John.
Jean

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MSSUNBUG 11/16/2010 9:56PM

    What a lovely blog, friend. Really, one of my favorites from you. There were so many times on this journey when I felt alone and felt like there was no hope for me. That voice that reminded me not to give up was often weak (and often not even my own!), but thank goodness I never stopped listening for it altogether. Thank goodness indeed.



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MKPRINCESS007 11/16/2010 9:53PM

    I have always believed that God and the hope that God brings manifests itself in my intuition. I truly believe that the "gut" is never wrong. Hope is believing and flying blind without any empirical evidence.

You rock, my friend. You totally rock.

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WANDAH3 11/16/2010 7:37PM

    You write exactly what needs to be shared. Thank you for being an open channel.


Hugs,
Wanda

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SPARKENISTA 11/16/2010 5:21PM

    John--This blog definitely hits the spot. It just goes to show that no matter how many relationships we have, when it really counts, the decisions we make in the clinch involve three people--me, myself and I.

Thanks for this. It is very inspirational.

Best,


Merry

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CATHERINEL66 11/16/2010 4:07PM

    Sometimes in life you have to jump off the cliff and HOPE there's the other side to land on ... even when you can't see it. That's hope.

I think it's what sustains us on this journey. No one really knows what we'll encounter on the way, or just how far it is to the other side :)

Thanks!

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MARCYNA 11/16/2010 3:11PM

    This post mirrors me exactly....not attending the course & feeling guilty.
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I'm calling all the angels for all of us , in addition to not giving up emoticon emoticon
PS Shall I track my candy bar??? emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/16/2010 3:14:54 PM

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CBLANK20091 11/16/2010 11:37AM

  emoticon
Thank you for sharing such an important and meaningful message. You are a true gift to Sparkies!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 11/16/2010 10:37AM

    There may be someone reading this who really needs this message right now and you have given it.

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GEEMAWEST 11/16/2010 10:25AM

    Dear John,

This blog couldn't have come at a better time. After I weighed myself this morning I was thinking "I'm never going to lose this weight, I might as well just get used to it." You almost brought me to tears, but I already had my makeup on for work and didn't want it to run.
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Love ya, Cheryl

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ASHLEYRAMSEY 11/16/2010 9:24AM

    Thank you. Reading this was just what I needed this morning! emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/16/2010 9:30:09 AM

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WISEONE68 11/16/2010 9:09AM

    I just threw my rearview mirror in the trash can!! Thanks for the blog!! It hit the "spot" today!!!

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SARAWALKS 11/16/2010 9:00AM

    Excellent blog, John! I think a LOT of us needed to hear this today.
"mama said there'd be days like this..." the Shirelles
for whatever reason! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BRAVENEWGRL 11/16/2010 8:30AM

    Thanks for the inspiration this morning.

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JUDIL62 11/16/2010 8:23AM

    So true!

Have a great day John.

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JJSSKINNYGIRL 11/16/2010 8:16AM

    emoticon

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HDHAWK 11/16/2010 8:13AM

    emoticon

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LEARNING2LUVME 11/16/2010 8:03AM

    AMEN!

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REJ7777 11/16/2010 7:55AM

    emoticon

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TENACIOUSTRISH 11/16/2010 7:45AM

    Thank you for the blog,I am inspired not to let nothing stop me in reaching my goals.

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