Tuesday, October 26, 2010
This blog has nothing to do with diet or exercise. Itís an observation from the male point of view.
I am a good husband. I didnít say perfect, I said good. Iíve been married for over thirty six years and other than the normal tiffs we have never had a serious issue in our marriage. Given the people I know and the people I read about, I consider myself very lucky. We are not all lovey dovey and while we pray for each other the only place we pray together is at Mass on Sundayís. Suffice to say that we are not the magazine cover couple. I have always done my own laundry, because why should Joan have to fool with my stuff? I had offered to do her laundry; as a matter of fact I did it one time and was politely told to leave it alone. (I follow orders really well.)
I bring all this up because despite all my best efforts I never realized how little I really did until Joan had surgery yesterday. Yes, I am one of those people who believed the dogs and cat fed themselves. I had to decide what we were having for dinner, take care of washing towels, and all this stuff Joan does on a day to day basis. I donít mind admitting I was a bit overwhelmed and BTW this was only for a day or so, not long term. I am not complaining. It just sort of opened my eyes up a lot. If I had to do this every day Iíd probably lose twenty pounds in a week. When the kids were born I was insulated from all of this. There were family and friends available to cook and clean, etc.
I could buy her flowers and candy and a cute card and tell her how much I appreciate her and then go back to being unenlightened me. OrÖÖÖ. I could realize that maybe I need to do a bit more on a day to day basis. I have a quote on my SPARK page that says:
ďYou have not lived a perfect day...unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you.Ē
Itís my house, my cat and dogs and my meals, also. Joan works as hard, if not harder than I do and comes home tired and worn out and has never once complained about what she does once she gets home.
If you are a guy and you are reading this and you are in a relationship with someone, take a look at what they do and what you do. Itís been quite an education for me.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Itís going to be at least three weeks before I can see my doctor. I ran into her at Kroger, early this morning and she is going to a medical conference in New York later today. That means itís going to be at least three weeks until I can get the prescription to work with the dietician. The cost of doing this without a prescription is more than I can handle right now. So what to do?
Many of you have been very successful in developing really good eating habits and strategies and all that other cool stuff. Some days I donít have a clue. So I am opening up my food and exercise logs, journals, whatever you want to call them. This is a big step for me. It means I am opening myself up to let you look at my life.
If you are of a mind to, and enjoy telling other people what to do, please take a look at them, starting with today and give me any advice that you might think to be helpful. Do not worry about hurting my feelings or offending me. I have fallen a bit short recently in tracking my food. I need some help and as I said, if you are of a mind to, take a peak and let me know your opinion.
I had oatmeal for breakfast this morning, along with some Greek yogurt. Should I have used soy milk instead of the 2% milk I used? This is where your opinion would be greatly appreciated.
BTW: If there is ever anything I can do to help you, please let me know. We are all in this together.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
My grandma (and yours too probably) said the road to hell was paved with good intentions. She was right then and she was right now. One of my kids always used to tell us, especially when they were angry that ďYouíre not the boss of me.Ē They were right then and they are right now. Did you ever notice there is never a shortage of books, DVDís, and CDís telling us how to beÖÖÖ.. You fill in the blank. Did you ever notice how almost none of them ask you what you think might be best for you? Have you noticed that none of them (At least none I can find) are not for profit?
Donít mistake this for a rant against ďthe man.Ē I think we have some very valuable guides available to us, but they are only guides. There is this internal metronome we tend to ignore because it flies in the face of conventional wisdom and ďwhat everyone else is doing.Ē We often lose sight of making it our own.
When I wanted to train to run a 5K I had no idea what to do. We have a local runners club here but they are dedicated to the young and the buff, not the middle aged, portly and creaky. That option flew out the window in a hurry. I learned about the podcasts Robert Ullery offered and I downloaded them. After five weeks I got tired of running to techno music. So I looked at the lesson plans made my own playlist and asked the kids to get me a good cardio watch for Fatherís Day. I timed my own runs and was much more successful. The only issue is that Joan says every time I hear one of those songs I am like Pavlovís dog. I look like I might start running where ever we are!! I made it my own. I owned it and itís mine.
I am so predictable itís not funny. I could Xerox my menu for a month or so. Big problem is I got burnt out eating healthy. So Iíve done two things. I went to my doctor and asked her to write me a prescription to see a dietician. Hopefully my health insurance will pay a portion of this cost. Beth, who is going to work with me, is in roughly the same age group I am in and is a runner. (She ran her first 10K this weekend.) She is a good cook in both senses of the word and she publishes a weekly column in our local paper. (She will be the newest member of Team John!!!)
The second thing Iíve done is look at some of the food you guys eat, those of you who have been successful. This caused my daughter Maggie to observe that I had now created a whole new category called ďDiet Stalker.Ē When we went grocery shopping this weekend I bought some food that wasnít on my radar. I made it mine.
If we donít own this it wonít ever work. It wonít be like a partner it will always be like a third cousin that visits periodically. There is never any commitment to the relationship.
All this came to me as I was cleaning under the hood of our stove this morning. I love to clean. I am in my best mood and happiest to be around when I can grab a big old bottle of Windex and go to town. Itís my time to focus, to think, and low and behold, underneath that grease I located john. Heís a domestic, always has been always will be. You may meditate, walk in the woods or paint brilliant sunsets. I am over joyed that you do. Donít be disappointed when all I do is smile. Iím happy for ya.
I have had a less that desirable past month. My body is bruised and I felt as if I were in a tail spin. I needed to be able to reach out and grab the walls as I was falling. I decided not to exercise Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I needed a time out. Instead I cleaned my garage, my storage shed, my office, my kitchen and helped Joan hang some pictures. The only value there was my own and this morning as I write to you I feel more focused and centered than I have in a long while. Iíll start running again tomorrow. I already made out my schedule for next week. Itís one of the things that keep me on task.
Hereís my point. There are a lot of great resources you and I have to draw from but the most valuable resource lies between your ears and six inches below your throat. Iím not sure where I read it but recently I read someone who said:
ďWhen you do something, donít do it for family or friends, donít do it expecting praise. Simply do it for yourself and you will find a lot of gratification.Ē
Friday, October 22, 2010
My body aches. Itís not the debilitating, canít get out of bed ache. Itís weariness. My left knee is still a bit sore and early in the morning as I pad about the kitchen it throbs. The cuts are almost healed, only the deep ones jump up and bites me if I move wrong. My left ankle is sore from the six mile hike we took last Sunday. My two personal training sessions this week were like the Bataan Death March. I just wanted them to be over with.
My mind is a bit fragmented. I keep looking for the ďdefrag buttonĒ on my belly but canít find it. I have goals, I have objectives it just seems that they are scattered like so many sheep that escaped the farm yard. Things seem slightly out of kilter and I find myself embracing health coz ďI have to!!!Ē
Yesterday afternoon, when I finished my PT session Jen looked at me and said ďAre we developing an attitude?Ē (Not, me, LOL) Then she asked what was wrong. I gave her mu list of aches and pains, etc.
ďYou know John, Iím 29 and you make me feel guilty sometime with everything you do. You run, you hike, you walk, you cycle and you spend two hours a week with me.Ē
I just looked at her.
ďHere is what I want you to do. I donít want to see you here until Monday. I donít want to be going to the grocery and see you jogging down the street. You can walk, but nothing else.Ē
In the shower and on the way home I began to see her wisdom. I need a ďtime out.Ē I need to pull over to the side of the road and take a deep breath and then get up Monday morning and move forward. One thing I have done already is create a chard in Word that will show me what exercise I am doing what day and I can print it out, hang it up and use it as a guide.
Iím not burnt out; Iím just a bit tired.
So this weekend I am cleaning the garage, weeding some unruly flower beds, cleaning out the shed and hanging with my DW. No runs, no hikes, no frantic moving about, just puttering around.
Please donít think of me as being wise and noble because even as I write this I feel guilty, LOL
Everyone needs a time out. I think if we donít take one, it gets so difficult that we give up.
Have a good Friday and join me in slowing down, just a bit
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