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Friday, October 15, 2010

I forgave Old John last night. It was the least comfortable thing I’ve done in quite some time. Truth be known I didn’t want to go down this road. Allegorically my running in the last five months has produced more than health it’s been a convenient way to run away from who and what I used to be. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t fair to Old John. If nothing else he needed some closure. I realized too that not dealing with him and all his exploits might be part of what has me at this seemingly impenetrable plateau. Still I didn’t want to do it. I’ve been feeling too good lately. Let’s just “not talk about Old John.” Sort of like the relative no one acknowledges. They are right there on the family tree, you just don’t talk about them.

I didn’t want to do this. My stomach got all queasy. It’s like looking at your “before pictures.” They bring back painful reminders of whom and what you once were. My internal guidance system, AKA God, reminded me that in order for me to be where I am I had to have been where I was and BTW John is that really fair to leave the poor guy hanging out there?

“I’ll think about it, not tonight, but I’ll think about it.”



So I rolled over on my back and I have to tell you I had this really, really awkward feeling inside. I started thinking about some of the mistakes, misperceptions and actions I had taken in the past, stuff that held me back. Things that hurt me, or hurt other people and I looked at Old John and said “Okay John that was really stupid; what you did, but I forgive you. What’s done is done.” This wasn’t as an emotional of an endeavor as I thought it would be. I checked stuff off the list, rolled over and tried to sleep. Stuff kept popping in my head but what was really comforting about this was that those thoughts were not judgmental. They were like watching a movie and commenting “That was really dumb!!!” Suffice to say I dealt with the important stuff.

Finished with this task, I thought we were done, but like a little kid, Old john stood there. The Voice said. “He has to heal.” I looked at him and said. “Okay, you might as well come along. You are gonna be here anyways.” I slept pretty well after that. It wasn’t one of those dramatic; grab- me- a –box- of- Kleenex- Hollywood moments. I was glad it happened and equally glad it’s over.
Real change is our lives are not measured by pounds lost, calories consumed, and distance run, swum or pedaled. It is measure by the capacity we create in our lives to look at ourselves and and make the often painful but necessary adjustments to get even healthier.

If you are like me, at all, you might try to quickly forget you read this blog or that it was ever written. We focus and fixate so much on new tomorrows that oft times we forget about settling accounts with the past. I will grow, Old John will heal. I’ll reach my goals and one day, hopefully sooner than later there will just be one John, and oh my goodness gracious can you imagine how fantabulous he will be?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDWINA172 10/20/2010 4:22PM

    This is something I stuggle with all of the time. I mentally beat myself up with all of the "bad" things I've said or done in the past. I will apply your blog to my life and hopefully forgive myself.
Thanks for posting this. It is healing.

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CATHERINEL66 10/18/2010 3:31PM

    John, this is a great blog. I know for me, I have a lot more to forgive myself for than too much cake -- and, like you, I'm willing to crack open the box of doom (kidding!!) in order to air it all out. It's sort of a 12-step program. I don't want old festering emotions and lack of self acceptance to be what brings me down. Denial and stuffing just don't work. Long term, I don't want ME to stand in the way of my own positive coping strategies when life gets tough (as it always does).

Good job on writing about this issue. I'm impressed with you too.

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DOLLBABE56 10/16/2010 6:59PM

    It is hard to come to terms with ourselves. It takes courage to look at our past mistakes/failures. Sometimes we have to revisit it more than once. I know that I have many times in my life. I hope you won't need to. I'm happy that old and new John are getting along.

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 10/16/2010 10:16AM

    Love this! We have to forgive who were were in order to become who we are meant to be.

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MARCYNA 10/16/2010 9:41AM

    "It is measure by the capacity we create in our lives to look at ourselves and and make the often painful but necessary adjustments to get even healthier. "
John, all I'm through these days is because I need to make adjustments in my life - painful at times but liberating in the end, glad you forgave your old you.
emoticon emoticon

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JPRICE217 10/16/2010 8:01AM

    How is it we can forgive others but can not forgive ourselvs.So glade that you have worked it out. God bless you.

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REJ7777 10/15/2010 7:35PM

    You've made so much progress - both physically and as a person! Thank you for sharing your insights with us. I think forgiving Old John is an important part of your journey to wholeness. He needs to be loved and accepted, especially by you. He surely looks up to you and admires you. I'm so glad you are able to embrace him!

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KSGROTHE 10/15/2010 1:21PM

    You know, ever since you wrote that blog a few days ago about forgiving, I've been meaning to write in a journal about forgiving myself (or OLD KAREN) for all my past mistakes and wrong thinking. I put that on my list of things to do and then procrastinated on it. What am I waiting for?

emoticon on forgiving Old John! Keep up the good work!

- Karen

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MSSUNBUG 10/15/2010 11:03AM

    Forgiving myself is one of the hardest things I've ever needed to do; I work on it every day. I work on it every time I want to be angry at myself for eating a sliver too much, every time I see a picture of myself at a heavy weight, and every time I am forced to confront the fact that I've changed. Some days are better than others.

If your experience is anything like mine, Old John will be along for the ride for the rest of your time here. Some days his presence will seem loud and... well, present. Other days he'll be a little lurking figure in the shadows. You're right to forgive him though. Even when he abused the body you're inhabitting, he really meant you no harm at all.

Congratulations on, what is to me, a big breakthrough.

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GEEMAWEST 10/15/2010 10:26AM

    Forgiveness is a wonderful thing and John (old and new) is a wonderful person.
emoticon emoticon

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JENNY888 10/15/2010 10:04AM

    I love the way you are able to get in touch with what is happening within yourself John. You always give me so many good ideas. Thanks.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/15/2010 10:02AM

    My advice is to learn from the past, look forward to the further, but make the most of the here and now. You can't change the past and you have no idea what the future will hold but you can do something about the present.

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TRIPLE_EMME 10/15/2010 9:47AM

    I'm proud of you for taking the steps to settle accounts with your past. There is such a strong mind/body connection -- and a healthy mind likes to partner up with a healthy body!


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MUSTANG_SALLY2 10/15/2010 9:26AM

    I too have to work thru forgiving myself. I'm glad that you were able to cross this hurdle. Great job John!


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IZZYAGGY2009 10/15/2010 9:12AM

    That is some sound wisdom in that process of anything we are trying to over come. I have been in a 12 step program for my food addiction and it is something we have to do to help us to move forward.... not look back.... learn from the past but look to the future.


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CARTOONB 10/15/2010 9:12AM

    I watch The Biggest Loser and at the end of each season, they show the remaining contestants what they looked like at the beginning. Each time, the contestant talks about how much they didn't like that person. The trainers then tell them that without that person and the decisions that person made, they wouldn't be where they are today. You are the sum of your life and it sounds like you get that. Congrats!

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/15/2010 8:44AM

    You are so precious to me on my journey. The way you put things has helped me A LOT! "Old John will heal. I’ll reach my goals and one day, hopefully sooner than later there will just be one John, and oh my goodness gracious can you imagine how fantabulous he will be?"

I also love how I come on here and read something you write that I've felt and thought EXACTLY but no one else has written it!!! Oh, the feeling of looking at before pictures... Yup, I just want to close my eyes and never look at it again...

I'm happy you made that peace with yourself yesterday. High five friend! emoticon


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Taking What The Room Gives You

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I am eternally fighting with myself. It’s not the knock, down, drag out sort of fight it’s really more of a struggle to see who wins. Maybe it’s safe to say it’s often the battle between the heart and the mind.

Because I tripped and fell this weekend I had two days where exercising wasn’t an option. The easy thing to do would have been to accept things --- “It is what it is.” It would have been nice to sit back and adopt the philosophy that I had two days to work on other areas of my life. Yeah that would have been nice.

Instead I made the choice to listen to that nasty old tape that I somehow forgot to get rid of many months ago. Maybe you have a tape that’s similar to it in your head? It basically says you are not as good as everyone else, you will never be as good as everyone else and stamped firmly on your backside, at birth I might add, are the words “People Pleaser.” It says you are overweight, fat, obese, chunky --- you pick one --- it is because of some fatal character flaw you have that no one else has…. You get my point.

A friend of mine once floated the notion in front of me that you “Take what the room gives you,” and you live with that. I took it to mean that those few words are a variation on “Playing the hand you’re dealt,” or the proverbial “When life gives you lemons create an LLC and open up a lemonade stand…” Those are wise words because if you are in the business of pleasing people and stressing over the fact that you always don’t please people, you are always looking for another room to be in. You are always looking some vehicle or some situation where you can look better than the person on either side of you simply so you will feel equal.

If I’d have been smart, which I’m not too very often, I’d have taken the two days as a break, a respite and an opportunity to work on some things, like say my book or my DVD or all those other things I’m scared to start because I mean what if I fail. Maybe you won’t love me?
I know it’s foolish.

I was sad to realize there are still small wisps of the old John in there somewhere. The guy who has to be better, look better and act better than anyone else just to be equal. I’m reminded of a line from one of the Gospels where Jesus tells his apostles, as it relates to expelling a demon “This kind does not come out through good works but through prayer and fasting.”

All the “activity” in the world does not make John a better boy. John looking at John and deciding that rolling with the flow isn’t a bad thing, a character flaw, something to revoke his pass to heaven over, is where the “prayer and fasting come in.”
I am wonderful, I am beautiful and I am worth every ounce of effort I put into my growth and development. I still have some, LOL, messed up ideas floating around in there. It starts here, by recognizing I am maybe only half way there, learning to let other people support me and acknowledging my own worth and value.

It begins by admitting to myself there are times I still want to please people and there are times I feel inadequate, alone and lonely even though people all over the universe love me.
It begins with acceptance and if it sounds tiring, boring and frustrating please realize some days, that’s all the room gives you and it gives it to you for a reason. The reason is to help you become a better you and me a better me.

When all is said and done, isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 10/15/2010 7:31PM

    "I am wonderful, I am beautiful and I am worth every ounce of effort I put into my growth and development."
You sure are!!! Me too. emoticon emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/15/2010 8:45AM

    Thank you for writing all this out, because I know EXACTLY what you're talking about and it HELPS to talk about it, we must accept that its there, so we can know what steps to take to feel better and heal!!!


We got this. :)


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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/14/2010 8:54PM

    Hopefully at some point you will stop worrying that failure will make you unlovable and realize that unconditional love is the only thing worth having. You are who you are no matter what you weigh. We like you just the way you are. (Mr. Rogers) LOL.

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KSGROTHE 10/14/2010 6:01PM

    John, I have similar fights with myself! I have very negative tapes in my head that I struggle to overcome. It's almost a daily fight.

Thanks for sharing how you feel. It makes a lot of us feel better to know we're not the only ones.


- Karen

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ZURDTA- 10/14/2010 3:38PM


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NJMATTICE 10/14/2010 2:30PM

    If we didn't struggle, we wouldn't need God. He's so smart! And I can tell you with some certainty that He has a soft spot in his heart for "old John". Lot's of people fell in love with old John. He's very lovable. They relate to him. They connect. They share the same human condition. God loves John. Period. I think you need to bring old John along on the journey. He's a part of you and always will be. Give him the loving he deserves. Perhaps if you keep trying to send him away, he'll come back showing up on your doorstep one day, drunk and broke and looking for a hand out.
Carry on, Sir John. You are doing great work.

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AZCUPCAKE 10/14/2010 1:31PM

    You make me laugh and cry at the same time, because when you hold the mirror up to yourself, you make it possible for us to use that same mirror on ourselves, too. You sure do give ME a reason to re-evaluate those doubts and put-downs I seem to take a virtual SHOWER in every single day! Who says we can't change the endless skipped record that plays over and over again the minute we wake up?

I keep telling myself that I am a work in progress. Under construction! That is my way of keeping my impatience and self-beatings down to a dull roar! Thanks for another totally insightful and revealing blog that always makes me think more positively about where I AM, AND where I am GOING. emoticon

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JJSSKINNYGIRL 10/14/2010 12:38PM

    Great Blog John! Don't forget your line from the movie "The Guardians" “When you have flown as far as you can fly, when you are out of breath, and your wings ache ,when you feel you are going to drop to the ground ---- You are about half way there.”

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MARCYNA 10/14/2010 10:27AM

    John, we love the way you are and we could not love you anymore - whatever you do.
I'm just like you and I sometimes wonder:
'Can a people-pleaser take some days off?'
'Am I entlitled to time for myself?' and the answer is 'Yes!!!'
I am starting to accept myself as I am, and I am determined to continue my life as a people-pleaser in a healthy way.
I 've stopped fighting and accepted my attitude as part of 'What the Room Gives Me'. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/14/2010 10:31:20 AM

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TRIPLE_EMME 10/14/2010 10:11AM

    I'm with GETFIT2LIVE -- I'd like to find the room where those tapes are stored and erase them all!!!

You are on the road to becoming a better you. And, yes -- I do think that is what life is about.

Progression, striving to be better -- a constant work in progress. I think it would be boring to be perfect, anyway.

Hang in there... you can do it.


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GETFIT2LIVE 10/14/2010 9:57AM

    Some days I wish I could find the 'room' in my brain where all those old tapes are stored so that I could go through and erase about 99% of them, don't you? Yet here we are, still fighting some of the same battles we thought we had won some time ago. Yes, we've made great progress, but then something happens, a stumble and fall, either literally or with our eating or exercise, to remind us that we haven't erased quite all of the old tapes yet. Learning to roll with the flow and stop trying to please everyone really is what it's all about, not pleasing everyone else or looking good on the outside. The only one we really need to be concerned about pleasing is God, and the amazing thing is we don't have to 'do' anything to please Him. He has already done what's needed.

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JAE_HENNINGTON 10/14/2010 9:12AM

  thank You John for your honesty and openess to share not only the good things about yourself but the things that you would just as soon forget about.. I appreciate so much when people feel safe enough to share their innermost feelings.. something I am still struggling with.. You are a very unique person and I am honored to be able to call you my friend

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 10/14/2010 9:07AM

    This part: I am wonderful, I am beautiful and I am worth every ounce of effort I put into my growth and development. Amen John!

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MSSUNBUG 10/14/2010 8:29AM

    When I started up with this knee injury, I resisted rest days. Eventually, I decided to take two weeks completely off from activity. The second I made that decision, I gained 30 pounds in my mind. By the next day, I was up to 40. By the end of the first week, I'd gained back all 100. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. It showed me that my life was, contrary to what I thought, still very much not in balance: I was simply obsessing in a NEW way, demanding NEW things of myself in the quest to be worthy, valued, etc. In short, it forced me to work on some pretty hard stuff that has shaped the rest of the journey--and it's opened up a lot for me and quite honestly changed my life.

I have this theory. lol. When we are impressed or struck by other people, it's often because we see them at this sort of... "best" moment. We catch a glimpse of them at their most stellar and most interesting. But in reality, they're not that interesting ALL the time (refer to marriage or living with someone for a sample of what it's like to recognize someone's indeed not JUST amazing ALL the time, LOL), and they're definitely not that interesting in their own heads. But to us, all we recognize is that X person was amazing on Y day. I think other peoples' greatness is easy to exaggerate (especially for us people-pleaser types), and I think we hold for ourselves the same expectation for stellar moments. In reality though, it's rare that we manage to recognize our own stellar moments--EVEN WHEN THEY'RE SERIOUSLY STELLAR.

Taking a rest is hard, but it sounds like the learning experience is what the universe believes John is ready to handle right now. Lean into it (as you obviously are), and see what's there to learn!

And for the record (and in the interest of holding up an alternative mirror), through THESE lenses, you're way beyond "equal" with my own encounters with the "general public." By simply being you, you've far surpassed average whether we're measuring intelligence, interest, etc. But then we people-pleasers ALWAYS seem to measure better on OTHER peoples' "scales."

And I guess that's why we all need friends!

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Looking At "Thank You" In A Different Light.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I was doing a bit of reading while I was waiting for a client to call earlier and I ran across something by Patrick Henry Reardon that really struck home.

"Suppose for a moment that God began taking from us the many things we had failed to give thanks for. What would be left for us? Would I still have my limbs, my hands and my mind? What of my loved ones. If God were to take from me all those persons and things for which I had never given thanks, who or what would be left for me?"

This was a scary thought, one that I quickly pushed to the back of my mind because if I took this test right now I'd flunk. It came back to me when I started to answer someone who posted a comment on one of my blogs.

You know we all basically write the same thing. "Thank you for the blog comment. I really appreciate your support and friendship...." or a variation there of. If we know the person we write a bit more. Mostly its the Spark etiquette machine in operation. Sorta like not sending a thank you card after getting a wedding present.

For some reason I stopped before I hit the "send" button and added the following:

"In a world where everything moves a million miles a minute we lose sight of how precious and special friends are. Thank you for being one of those very precious people."

Spark friends are easy to not thank. Out of sight, out of mind and how many people do you know here that just sorta vanish?

What about my family? Sure I am grateful for them and all they do but how often do I say thanks? I sent my kids a text message awhile back and told them I didn't tell them I appreciated them enough. Four of them called and wanted to know if I got bad news from my doctor. Sigh

If I lost all that I wasn't thankful for I might stand to lose a lot. It sure is something I need to think about though.

A new goal!!! LOL

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEEDTOLOSE100LB 10/15/2010 12:22PM

    John, I am guilty of the same lack of etiquette. I am basically a thankful person...I honestly thanked the man who let me go ahead of him in the "fast" lane at Walmart the other day because I had one item...I honestly thanked the man outside Walmart (and stopped and conversed for a moment) offering free local newspapers...etc...those are the easy 'Thank yous'. The ones we gloss over are the little thank yous for a family member or friend who just does something nice or even something that is expected of them. Doesn't hurt a bit to say too many thank yous!
Here's to doing better with our thank yous and making them heartfelt, rather than rote.
For this reminder, John, I thank you. Keep up the good work, words and insights. There are a lot of us out here that cherish the thoughts you provoke, and I am one of them.

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BTINTERNET 10/14/2010 10:37AM

    Thank you again for sharing much-needed thoughts. Lots to think about here.

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JAE_HENNINGTON 10/14/2010 9:14AM

  exactly... I am learing to live a life of gratitude.. thank you for shedding light on this most important issue

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CARTOONB 10/13/2010 11:48PM

    Oh man! I would flunk too! Better start working on it...

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DOLLBABE56 10/13/2010 10:21PM

    Your children's reaction is something I'd expect to hear from my own. LOL And, new goals? gotta love 'em. emoticon You're the best.

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REJ7777 10/13/2010 9:27PM

    I'm reading this after just watching the last Chilean miner get rescued. They almost did lose everything. There's so much we take for granted... even our next breath of fresh air! We have so MUCH to be thankful for!

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DEBRITA01 10/13/2010 8:57PM

    It is so important to have an attitude of gratitude...we are so blessed and need to be reminded from time to time. Thanks for the reminder...

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KSGROTHE 10/13/2010 6:21PM

    emoticon for the reminder to be thankful for all we have!

I have to say that I got a little chuckle out of your anecdote about your kids thinking that you'd gotten bad news from the doctor when you told them that you didn't tell them you appreciated them enough. I might have the same reaction if my dad told me that!

Keep up the good work! You are always finding more things to do and to think about!

- Karen

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GIRANIMAL 10/13/2010 4:59PM

    I too try to practice gratitude, but there is no such thing as too much. So thanks for the reminder, John. And thank you for always taking the time to thank us!

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WANDAH3 10/13/2010 4:50PM

    John, when time goes by and I haven't made it to reading your blogs, there is a special little corner of my world that begins to wobble. I love how you just simply state the facts and they leave little grains of truth spilling out. Thank you for being you. I know sometimes it's hard to accept accolades, we feel like we aren't doing anything special. Well, in my corner of the world, what you do and say "is" special. I just wanted to say thankyou John, and also express my thanks to Joan for supporting you and helping you to become the person that you are.


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ALLISON145 10/13/2010 4:41PM

    I always love your blogs, John... the best part is reading your posts (and the responses) and grabbing little motivational quotes and sayings. When I'm feeling a bit disconnected, your posts always help. I'm grateful for you!


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ANEPANALIPTI 10/13/2010 3:44PM

    With you John, the words thank you never even feel enough to describe how grateful I am that we "met"! I really hope that I can see you this christmas!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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NJMATTICE 10/13/2010 3:32PM

    You have a grateful heart. God knows your heart. I think you're pretty well covered. You can keep those limbs. It's a good reminder to do a "tude" check. attiTUDE. gratiTUDE. fortiTUDE. soliTUDE. latiTUDE. longiTUDE. All your TUDES in order? Thanks for the reminder to do my own TUDE check.

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 10/13/2010 3:30PM

    Ugh! This is why I have such a hard time when someone asks, "Does anyone have any praises?" I always want to stand up and start with, well, I can blink... and build from there. That question bugs me. I try to do praise walks. Every step, I thank Him for something else. I have so much to be grateful for and we all have praises! Even if it's jut that last breathe we took in before we begin to speak.

Thanks for this reminder!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/13/2010 3:28PM

    I do express gratitude a lot as I have been down and out before and had very little. It makes you very humble and keeps you grounded.

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MARCYNA 10/13/2010 3:18PM

    I had an health scare some time ago, and I had the chance of thinking about my life in a different perspective... it was really nothing to worry about,BUT I've started NOT to take everything for granted. Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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When It's Time For A Change

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Shortly before I joined Spark I switched gyms. It wasn’t an easy decision. I had belonged to my gym for thirteen years and was on its Board of Directors for four of those years. I woke up one morning and realized that it was not meeting my needs any longer. I had asked for help in a number of areas and I got a lot of nice speeches and promises to institute programs to deal with nutrition and exercise after age fifty and a host of other concerns I had about my own health. Nothing ever came to fruition.

It was about this time my doctor had one of those heart to heart talks with me. My weight had caused my blood pressure to be borderline dangerous, my blood work showed I was border line Type 2 diabetic, and my prostate gland was enlarged. I went to my gym and asked for some help. I was told it wasn’t available. The programs I needed weren’t available anywhere in our community except from a physician and they were expensive. “Sorry, John.”

I had a lot of friends at this gym. We went to church with some of the staff; others had swum in my pool and attended our barbecues. But guess what? They weren’t helping me. So I left. It was hard. I had at least a week of tossing and turning.

The gym I went to and am currently with costs thirty dollars more per month than I had been used to paying. The benefits I received are as follows:

My blood pressure has lowered to the point that my medication has been cut in half. I see the doctor in three weeks and I anticipate it may be cut further.

My blood work is well back in the normal range. I received a metabolic analysis when I joined my gym and a dietitian reviewed it with me and gave me some good nutrition guidelines.
Because of my weight loss and over all conditioning my prostate is normal and I am not using the restroom five times per night.

In August I took advantage of the option to hire a personal trainer and as I write this I can only tell you I am tickled pink with Jen.

Despite all the positives here I still felt bad sometimes. The CEO of my old gym will not speak to me. He feels I betrayed them by going to a competitor. I had to ask myself that question I pose to so many of you, “What are you worth, John?” I am worth a lot. There is no price on my health and well-being. No amount of guilt can make me devalue who I am and what I deserve.

Life is full of tough choices. While in the end they may produce great results, they may be painful to initiate. I am healthier, happier and more active because of the choice I make. I embraced my own mantra “You are who you hang around with.”

Life isn’t always easy. Joan and I went to a movie last night, a kid’s movie, called The Guardians. There was a line in that movie that I think applies to our journey here at Spark:

“When you have flown as far as you can fly, when you are out of breath, and your wings ache ,when you feel you are going to drop to the ground ---- You are about half way there.”

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAKEANDNELLIE 10/14/2010 10:34AM

    It's time we learned and accepted that sometimes our interests HAVE to be the top priority when we make decisions. Yes, it's always important to think of how our decisions may affect others, but we also need to realize that we "can't please everyone all the time," and sometimes we need to please ourselves!
You asked for help and didn't receive it. It's not like you just suddenly disappeared. They had to know that there were problems and they weren't willing to help find solutions. You took the action necessary and in your best interests.
Stay positive!

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DOLLBABE56 10/14/2010 7:05AM

    Wow, I like that line. Good one. And thanks for the blog. Another, good one.

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WEEZIE1122 10/13/2010 8:29PM

    No guilt John. Maybe the CEO of your gym should have asked himself "What is John worth." If he no longer talks to you, it is NO DOUBT his loss.

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/13/2010 4:23PM

    emoticon Now that is HUGE. way to go and thanks for constantly inspiring me!!!!!

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MARCYNA 10/13/2010 2:53PM

    Thanks John...I'm learning so much from you.
Even if it hurts -and it does, when it's time we have to stand up and go somewhere else.
I'm so glad you've made it!!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/13/2010 2:53:27 PM

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WORKINGSTIFF 10/13/2010 1:59PM

    Don't worry that the CEO from the former gym won't speak with you. If he were really interested in you as a friend or as a customer at his facility he'd take the time to ask you why you left and what it would take to get you back.

Part of being on SP is learning (as painful as it can be at times) to put your own needs first, even if it means some discomfort in other areas of our lives. And you are talking about your life here. No kidding.

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NJMATTICE 10/13/2010 1:53PM

    Taking good care of John. Job # 1. Way to set aside those people pleasing urges. It's tough, but as you know, you are worth it.

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ZURDTA- 10/13/2010 1:26PM

    Shame you lost the 'friendship' of the CEO but I guess it didn't mean that much to him after all. You are worth the extra $30 and it has paid off. There is no price for good health...

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TWENKY215 10/13/2010 12:19PM

    I'm still trying to wrap my head around them not being able to help someone with their health issues. The only thing they were concerned with is when is the next payment coming in! OMG! How can a gym or health club function without being able to give the right information to its customers whenever they need it. Being on the Board was not the best option to developing the rules and procedures to help get healthy issues incorporated? I am so happy that you felt the need to leave, and if the other people cannot understand that you did what you had to do to "LIVE", then shame on them. Your life is much better for the move anyway.

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CAHUNO2 10/13/2010 11:45AM

    Great!! So true! The saying is also right on - need to remember it.

The CEO of your old gym has blinders on - and it's his loss not talking to you. emoticon emoticon

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JJSSKINNYGIRL 10/13/2010 10:56AM

    Great Blog! You where 110% right to leave that gym and those "fake" friends! Keep up the great work!! It's people like the owner of your old gym who try to keep some of us weak. Don't ever let what you did bother you again, it simply isn't worth your time, because as you have said so many times before John, YOU are worth your time!


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TRIPLE_EMME 10/13/2010 10:35AM

    That line from the movie really resonated with me. I'm writing it on a sticky note to post on my desk. Thank you!

Above all else, thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad that you made the difficult decision to leave your "original" gym and join a new gym that is able to help YOU. You are healthier, happier and more active because of your choice (your words) -- and that is ultimately what matters.

You inspire me, immensely. A few weeks ago, I posted an update about how I was thinking about renewing my gym membership. You commented on my update telling me that my health is worth the investment. Your encouragement helped me rationalize my decision. I'm constantly obsessing over finances and trying to be financially responsible. I keep telling myself "no" for so many things that I want. I'm in the process of becoming healthier (and this is for both myself and my family). Renewing my membership is not simply a want, it is a need -- and a much needed investment in my health and future. I'm happy to share that I renewed my membership, yesterday.

Thank you, John!


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GETFIT2LIVE 10/13/2010 10:19AM

    Sometimes we do have to make difficult choices along the way, but it's worth it, because we are worth it. It isn't always easy to make the healthy choices that take us where we want to go; if it were, everyone would be doing it. That line does sum it up well; thanks for sharing, and thanks for loving yourself enough to do what is right for you even when it isn't easy.

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MINENA1 10/13/2010 10:03AM

    WOW!! The line from that movie is powerful! I love it. I need to write it down. Great job taking care of YOU John! emoticon

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Special Me Revisited

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Available on YouTube @

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANEPANALIPTI 10/13/2010 1:22PM

    I've been thinking about this and your blog before this one all day. :-) Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us, you. are. so. great. And this is SO important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We ARE special. I AM special. emoticon


PS. I'm going to make a list of special things and start falling back on THEM instead of all those shortcomings like you said. emoticon

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HAPPY_ONE 10/13/2010 12:09AM

    You know What sir? I need to come visit your blog more often. You are great!
Thank you for reminding me of this. I have been having a hard time lately and needed this a great deal!
Thank you.

I wish you happiness _/|\_

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CARTOONB 10/12/2010 11:43PM

    It is more difficult to think of things that make me special. Probably because in my mind, I'm not special, I'm normal. Not bad, just normal. Not special, just normal. I like hearing that other people disagree with me. But only on this one topic!!! emoticon

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MYRNACARRIER 10/12/2010 9:35PM

    I started to write out a list of the 35 things about me that are special the last time you mentioned it. You are so helpful and I look forward to reading your blog every day. Now I am going directly to the libraby to get the book. It is such a good idea to have this list on ones desktop. Thank you, you are very special and so am I. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEE_DEE1972 10/12/2010 11:44AM

    Oh John, you are so awesome! Thank you for your wise kindness...
Have a speedy recovery so you can get back to your running, and have a fantastic rest of the week!

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HEATHERSCOTTTN 10/12/2010 11:00AM

    Very Nice Video Blog...

Thanks for reminding me that I am special and I don't have to turn to food to fill up the empty places or to try to help me forget about something or just out of bad habits / patterns.

Glad you were not badly injured in your fall..... hope you are fully recovered and strong with no pain very very soon!

You have a sweet way of communicating and encouraging... very calm. I liked it! thank you

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 10/12/2010 10:26AM

    Thanks for reminding me to fill out that on the 90 days team page. I keep forgetting to do it. I guess that's a sign about how hard it is! Ugh!

Have a great day!

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