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Sometimes It's All In Your Head

Friday, June 25, 2010

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNE-ELIZ 6/27/2010 10:04PM

    Hi John,

Others have spoken eloquently about the forgiveness aspect of your blog.

The issue around your knee injury and the need to take time off your regular exercise routine is something familiar to me.

This is something that I have had to deal with numerous times, both before my Spark People days and during them.

It is always disappointing and upsetting and somehow feels like failure.

You are right about being able to learn something in this situation as in all others. What you learn will be specific to your own situation and we know we can count on you to share it.

In the meantime, if you need any help or just a sounding board, I'm here.

Comment edited on: 6/27/2010 10:08:22 PM

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BEANPOD77 6/27/2010 1:46PM

    Great blog as always John..I like your "welcome a new member" challenge and will be sure to touch base with a new person 3 X per week.
Sorry to hear about your knee..I had a hamstring pull a few weeks back. It's tough, mentally, when you have finally made exercise a part of your routine, to only have it interrupted..Make sure you let it heal fully though, because you don't want to do any damage that will take longer..Best of luck and keep us posted.

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JPRICE217 6/26/2010 11:38AM

    Great blog. WE not only need to forgive people but we need to forgive our self. Sorry about your knee. I have 4 stress fractures in my right foot with a cast on I can't walk or do much of anything. Need to learn to take it easy for a while.

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KATIEGLEN012 6/25/2010 10:25PM

    Let go...let God. I must constantly remind myself of this. Human nature is not always lovely!'

Loved the ad! Great to say I know a real celebrity!

Take care of that'll be back to your old self in a jiffy.

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HDHAWK 6/25/2010 9:55PM

    Take care of the knee John! Have a great weekend!

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DOLLBABE56 6/25/2010 4:53PM

    John, that is a great blog! Sorry about the knee though.

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JAE_HENNINGTON 6/25/2010 4:49PM

  deleted from a friend... say it isn't

found this from the daily om..said it better than I could. Great always, so glad we are friends

We Are All Mirrors for Each Other

When we look at other people, we see many of their qualities in innumerable and seemingly random combinations. However, the qualities that we see in the people around us are directly related to the traits that exist in us. "Like attracts like" is one of the spiritual laws of the universe. We attract individuals into our lives that mirror who we are. Those you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them. Simply put, when you look at others, you will likely see what exists in you. When you see beauty, divinity, sweetness, or light in the soul of another, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that evoke feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing reflected back at you those parts of yourself that you have disowned or do not like.

Because we are all mirrors for each other, looking at the people in your life can tell you a lot about yourself. Who you are can be laid bare to you through what you see in others. It is easy to see the traits you do not like in others. It is much more difficult to realize that you possess those same traits. Often, the habits, attitudes, and behaviors of others are closely linked to our unconscious and unresolved issues.

When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for similarly admirable traits. Likewise, when you meet someone exhibiting traits that you dislike, accept that you are looking at your reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others can be a humbling and eye-opening experience. You can also cultivate in you the traits and behaviors that you do like. Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror.

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RONDAJONES 6/25/2010 2:49PM

    Not sure if you could hear me clapping for your article, but I did!

I love this blog. I have a mother and her parents (my grandparents) that do not talk anymore because of something that my grandfather said to my mom. He wasn't being mean...long story...but basically held up the truth for her to see and she didn't like it. My mom's brother...died with them not talking (and he wasn't talking to me due to associating with my mom and we were really close). Even though my grandfather is 86, health is declining FAST, and it has been over a year...she still refuses to call either of her parents. I know how UN-forgiveness can affect a person...even the people that are 'stuck in the middle'. Thanks John (and a few other comments from people) that pointed out that forgiveness is for YOUR benefit...not theirs.

I hope that your knee heals quickly...looks like a few of us need to start and injured group! I am still out with my foot/ankle/achille's tendon.

Happy weekend to you!

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WISEONE68 6/25/2010 12:55PM

    A while back, a friend told me that UNFORGIVENESS is like "drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!"

Unforgiveness generally does NOT hurt the other person--the person who hurt ue, harmed me, or whatever. It HURTS ME. It hurts my relationship with God; with others; and, with myself!!!!!

Good blog, Friend!! Hope others who need the reminder/lesson find their way here. I love encouraging is one of my spiritual gifts (I put it on the list you suggested we put together last week--talents/gifts). I try to do my best at encouraging others here on Spark and in my "everyday" life, too.

(NOTE: I have been out of the gym since Monday due to a BAD back spasm at the gym on Monday. Doctor says Monday will be my day to's amazing that I am actually looking forward to Monday emoticon).

You are awesome, dude!! Way to go!!!

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FANAMAMA 6/25/2010 10:50AM

    Hi John! I wanted to touch base with you and ask if how the new schedule of taking the weekends off from blogging have helped you find more of a balance?
I will also wait, holding my breath, until you find a lesson in your injury. I sprained my ankle on 6/15 and haven't been able to do any cardio in all this time. It's making me crazy! I should learn from you and look for the lesson.
Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

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GETFIT2LIVE 6/25/2010 10:43AM

    John, thanks for sharing this. One of the things I have learned is that the 'f' word, FORGIVENESS, is not something I need to do for the other person who has 'wronged' me in some way. It is for me, so that I can be free from the burden that holding bitterness and anger creates. God doesn't tell us to forgive to release the other person; He does it so that we can be released. The more I hang onto perceived injustices, the more I am bound up and crippled on the inside, and that often expresses itself in physical illness or addictions like food. Our desire to punish the other person for hurting us usually results in us punishing ourselves instead. Part of this journey is learning how to forgive--others AND ourselves--and move on.

Funny you should talk about how others encouraged you when you started on SP and about helping other newbies as they start. I was just thinking about that the other day and let someone else who was among the first to 'friend' me know how much that helped. I've been trying to pay it forward ever since because I wouldn't have made it this far without the support and encouragement of others who have been at this a little longer than me.

Sorry about your knee, hope the brace and rest helps it get better quickly. Running is completely addictive, so it's hard to take it easy when something happens, but you have to. Let it heal up completely and you'll be back on the road (literally!) to running soon. Nice picture in the ad, by the way!


Comment edited on: 6/25/2010 10:53:36 AM

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JENNY888 6/25/2010 10:23AM

    Those temporary annoyances with injuries are tough aren't they. It's hard to deviate from the pattern that we have learned. The great thing about it all is that we have learned hew habits and patterns and they have become part of our lives. I know you will find a way to get the exercise you need. Great blog.

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DANAB1106 6/25/2010 10:10AM

    Thank you for your blog. As a new girl videos like this really keep me going!

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Sometimes, LOL, The Stones Just Have To Suffice.....

Thursday, June 24, 2010

It's been a week. If you could peer through your computer and see my world we could all agree and nod and I could stop writing. It dont work that way. Life never stops.

Since last Friday I have had the gear shift rammed into fifth gear and the good news is I can see the finish line from where I am sitting this morning. It's been a challenge. I have stayed within my calorie limits but I have to tell you it's been on the top end. I have exercised daily to make sure I counter balanced any change in routine but............. my routine has been disrupted and quite frankly I dont care for that. It's made me hard to get along with. I crave the predictable and traveling all over God's green earth and having the challenge of eating whats put in front of you can be daunting.

It is what it is.

No heroic stories about how I found a juice bar and ate with complete nutritional bliss. Just four days chock full of challenge. They are there always for me and for you and for everyone on the face of this earth. They are the days when diamonds are at a premium and we are left to dine on the stones. That's what life gives us.

Anyone can be of good cheer when life tilts their way. I think it takes real courage and strength to slap a smile on your face and a song in your heart when things arent going picture perfect. It's hard to log your food when you see than darned line go upward. You just sort of slog through.

Early on in my journey one of my very first Spark friends allowed me to become a super hero just like she was. She wrote me and told me that it helps you through those days when you need a bit of a push. I am glad I packed my cape this trip.

Nothing overwhelming or exciting, just life, and me taking what it gives me. At least I am doing it with a smile.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDIL62 6/28/2010 11:15AM


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KLEONIKI 6/27/2010 2:06PM

    Same experience ny dear friend:
Sometimes need to struggle to keep on the right path others things follow their way fluidly and always those sparking voices of out co-sparkers work as a reminder, enhancer, motivator or a caress...
I send you all my admiration and caress for being such a source of motivation just by keep on fighting.
I am almost alone (with my youngest) in a deserted camping... this year everybody is postponing the start of holidays.. and trying hard not to let myself through the well known road of easy , fast, soothing satisfaction in food..
But I guess it worth the effort, isn't it?
Have a nice week

Comment edited on: 6/28/2010 11:37:52 AM

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MYOWNHERO 6/26/2010 10:31PM

    Thanks for the inspiration...just think: next week is bound to be better!

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HDHAWK 6/25/2010 9:40PM

    I like predictable too John, but you're handling the changes quite well!

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STORMTMB 6/25/2010 11:59AM

    It is hard to go through life with a smile when you're meeting challenges at every turn. You've been successful in your healthy lifestyle this week partly because of your choices and partly because I suspect it's in your habits now. We all still want the big piece of chocolate cake, but you have displined yourself to make those excellent choices for your health. I know you're proud of the results (and your family is too!). Because you've made it through this challenging week, you'll be able to get through other challenging days and weeks ahead. You've gained so much inner strength (yes, you have - don't you say otherwise) and I know your faith is helping you too. Celebrate your successes this week and enjoy your weekend. Hope it's a good one.

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MARCYNA 6/25/2010 8:11AM

    Helping others....this is something you won't be able to track but I can see it all over in your blog, to me your help's the most valuable of all the tools I've found here on SP emoticon

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KSGROTHE 6/24/2010 8:53PM

    Sorry to hear that life has been so challenging for you this week, but I just have to say that when I read the title of your blog, I thought maybe you were referring to the Rolling Stones, which I found kind of funny. (Of course, it was even funnier to me when I discovered that that is not the kind of Stones to which you were referring. emoticon)

Hang in there! I'm impressed that you've stayed in your calorie range while eating what's put in front of you! emoticon

- Karen

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    There will be challenges and we will meet them on most days. The other days are just part of the learning curve.

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KAT573 6/24/2010 1:33PM

    YOU are spot on. That is the real test and the real challenge in a Lifestyle change. I, too, have had to come to terms with the fact that just because I do everything in MY power to ensure the greatest possible chance of good health, good living, etc., it ends up being just that; a possibility. Life and health remain gifts; having woken up with dyslopia, dizziness, and trigeminal pain in march of 08, I was so happy I had had the practice the first two years I was with SparkPeople so that I not only could endure this adjustment, and it was a HUGE one, but that I could grow through it. Keep on keeping ON! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAE_HENNINGTON 6/24/2010 12:42PM

  One of the wisest things I ever read was written by a philosopher who said, “To whom little is not enough, nothing is enough.” If you have not learned to be content in whatsoever state you find yourself, you will never be content.It sounds like you are doing ok in this. Bravo!!!!!

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NEEDTOLOSE100LB 6/24/2010 10:49AM

    Maybe you should just wear your cape under superman...and presto, chango...always ready to turn into a super hero.

Oh, that it could be so simple. Thanks for the reminder that we can be superheros, especially when life gets us down.


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WALKAWAY 6/24/2010 10:00AM

    emoticon blog.

"Anyone can be of good cheer when life tilts their way. I think it takes real courage and strength to slap a smile on your face and a song in your heart when things arent going picture perfect" hit home this morning when I was dealing with grumpy DH. He told me I was WAY TO CHEERFUL for so early in the morning. Told him someone had to try to keep a positive attitude otherwise our house would be a very unhappy home.

I'm celebrating today with a smile on my face. emoticon

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KRISSYSWIM16 6/24/2010 9:18AM

    I love the predictable as well, but unfortuantly life doesnt always go that way. I hope your cape is packed and ready. And you can do this- full steam ahead!

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CMBELISLE 6/24/2010 9:10AM

    Challenges are a part of every day life and if you can't figure out how to work with the challenges instead of against them, then you'll just create more work for yourself. Life's too short for MORE work.

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GETFIT2LIVE 6/24/2010 9:06AM

    Ain't it the truth--sometimes you just have to deal with the stones because the diamonds are pretty scarce. That's why I think us 'real' folks are the biggest winners; we are doing this in the midst of life, learning to make the best choices we can while continuing to work and care for our families and our homes and all the challenges of life. No ranch to hide out and focus all our energy on the weight loss and exercise for us; we are doing it in real time.

Gotta remember to always pack your cape for times like this; this is what it's like in the real world, where things are not picture perfect all the time and you don't have total control over your routines. It IS exciting to realize that the changes you have been making are taking root deep enough that when faced with a change in routine, you don't take that as an opportunity to throw in the towel and let things slide but rather look for ways to eat well and get in exercise whenever you can. Would you have believed that was possible six months ago? I know I wouldn't have about myself! We have come so far on this journey; there is no going back now, we are in it to win it . . .


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WALKNLOVE 6/24/2010 8:51AM

    John, you are definately one amazing & yet so real person. You have been gifted with such wonderful writing abilities! You stay positive and yet, allow us to see your vulnerabilites. Oh to have more people in the world like you....true friends, and a gift from God. You represent him well.

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JPRICE217 6/24/2010 7:41AM

    Great blog. Life happens and we do need to roll with it and make the best of it. If we did not have any challenges just think how boring our life would be.

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KATIEGLEN012 6/24/2010 7:07AM

    I so missed you! I have been on vacation...sounds like a good thing, right? And it is...only it was a bit of a challenge also. Not being able to cook for myself for 10 whole days. I had fun...tried not to worry and to error on the safe side. If we are doing all of this and not going to enjoy our life, what would be the point? We cannot let this make us nuts. I think from the sounds of it...we have learned good, healthy habits at this point and we are working with that knowledge through every step of our lives. I want for us to have interesting and varied lives. Routine makes being healthy easier. But when has life ever been consistently easy?
Let's celebrate our new found awareness and the fact that we were outside of our routine and continued our focus. Gosh darn...I think we have made progress!

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Locating The Diamonds

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

There is an old song that has a line it that goes, “Some days are diamonds, some days are stones.” I have come to believe that there are diamonds every single day of my life. It’s just that some days I have to look a bit harder for them than others.

It’s only Wednesday and this week has already been a challenge and a half. My travel level increased dramatically which means my food options decreased in proportion. The challenge became closing my eyes, and repeating to myself over and over ‘I will not eat off the dessert tray. I will not eat off the dessert tray.” Before you ask, of course there hasn’t been any fresh fruit!!! Breakfast has been okay because I have been able to get egg white omelet with fresh veggies and a banana. For lunch I ordered a chicken and veggie wrap that could have fed my family and I didn’t eat the wrap. I have gone to bed early but I always toss and turn when I am in a different hotel every night.

Yesterday afternoon when we finished our session at the labor leader summit I changed clothes and went to do week three of C25K. I have repeated the first three weeks because I have not felt comfortable moving on. That’s caused me inner anxiety because you know as a people pleaser I am always, always going to compare myself to other people and you know if I’m not better than I’m not equal. Why can’t I be like the cool kids? LOL

I have been using Robert Ullery’s podcasts to train with. He seems like a really cool guy but basically going into my sixth week, well the music is starting to get on my nerves and my mind is playing one of these “Let’s hurry up and get this over with!!!” tunes. It was ninety seven in Nashville yesterday and running outside at 3:00 pm would probably be suicide. Fortunately the hotel has a really good gym. I got on the treadmill and decided since I knew my intervals I was going to use my own music. As I warmed up I started to think about how frustrating this was getting because having to be better than everyone I hadn’t been able to run a 5K fifteen minutes after starting my training!!!

As I worked through the intervals something happened that has never happened to me before. I believe runners call it “finding your stride.” My mind was so distracted that it took a few seconds to realize I was jogging effortlessly and felt like I could do it forever. That’s where I found my diamond. It came from the past six weeks of grinding it out, switching my routine a bit and hanging in there.

The diamond is surrounded by a lot of stones but you know what? Those stones make it shine that much brighter. It sustained me. When I woke up this morning all the stones were still there but I knew the hard work will produce another diamond soon.

I use my running simply as an example. You might struggle a bit in other areas and just wonder if all this life style change stuff is a bunch of bunk. I do at least a thousand times a day. But then in His mercy, wisdom and love, God gives me a diamond to treasure and it sustains me.

This is tough stuff. It’s hard work. Please remember:



Have a good Wednesday

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLEONIKI 6/28/2010 11:55AM

    Well, my diamond for today was EXACTLY the same...
Started to jog and after some time of mind travelling i realized i was running effortlessly and PLEASANTLY!!!!
I thought it was something IMPOSSIBLE.
Let's dream of all those impossible desirable things...i am positive they are in their was of changing into possibilities...

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JENNY888 6/25/2010 10:29AM

    You are a diamond in many of our lives. Thanks for the great blog.

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WYNAMT 6/24/2010 12:45PM

    WOW! You are a most insightful man! Why yes, there are diamonds all around us and with a little work and polish we all can find some! CONGRATS on the run!

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NEEDTOLOSE100LB 6/24/2010 10:46AM

    The thing about stones too is that they eventually grind down and disappear. Diamonds are a lot tougher to find, but they are worth it. Glad you found your diamond and your stride. Thank you for the continued encouragement.

PS: I live is is it hot this year. I have not been able to walk at lunch and it is showing in my stuck numbers! Haven't come up with a good substitute yet either...


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KSGROTHE 6/23/2010 8:05PM

    emoticon on finding your "diamond" on the treadmill!

I need to search for today's diamond. It's been a bit of a rough day, but I did get some walking in at lunch.

Keep up the good work! emoticon

- Karen

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SUSIEMILO 6/23/2010 7:22PM

    I needed to hear this -- thanks so much for writing.

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JPRICE217 6/23/2010 6:52PM

    Good blog there is always a diamond in every day someday it is in the rough but it is there emoticon

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CHANGEDIN09 6/23/2010 4:56PM

    As always..a great post. where do you come up with this stuff?

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MARCYNA 6/23/2010 3:38PM

    I really loved this blog, it was like finding a diamond today....thanks!!!! emoticon

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TXNANA_4 6/23/2010 3:11PM

    Boy did I need this today! Thanks John!

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    I hope you find lots of diamonds today and maybe even some gold. LOL

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JAE_HENNINGTON 6/23/2010 1:06PM

  thanks for the your words of wisdom, it is always much appreciated

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PRINCESSNURSE 6/23/2010 11:14AM

    Congratulations on finding your stride! Now you ARE a runner!

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GEEMAWEST 6/23/2010 10:36AM

    I really needed to read this blog today, John. I have been struggling terribly lately. I will look for diamonds today. Thanks.

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DOLLIE6 6/23/2010 10:31AM

    You are so right John this is hard work and it is worth it.
I love it when you have those little diamonds appear in your day, it really does keep you motivation and you are right we need to look for them.

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MAWRTIAN 6/23/2010 10:07AM

    YEAH!!! Thanks john, your blogs make me smile.

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BAYBELIEVER 6/23/2010 10:07AM

    What a terrific attitude! I am right there with you wondering why I can't yet WALK a 5K in under an hour! And why aren't my clothes dropping of me from all the weight lost? Oh. And why haven't I lost 50 lbs yet? But we do have to find the diamonds in the midst of everything else! And thanks for saying you think about all this 1000 times a day. I thought I was the only one out there thinking this way! Hope your week and God continue to send diamonds your way. Some might be smaller than others, but they all still Sparkle!

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MINENA1 6/23/2010 10:01AM

    Oh my gosh I love this blog!! Wonderful! Thank you John! emoticon

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 6/23/2010 9:54AM

    I've never had anyone else express the feelings that I have... "if I’m not better than I’m not equal." I don't think I've even expressed it to myself. It makes me stop and think.

I'm glad you are doing well with the C25K. I have been encouraged to try it by your posts about it. I'm just at the beginning but it made feel good when I accomplished one of the intervals. LOL

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SUZANDALE 6/23/2010 9:50AM

    I too have to really search on some days to find that diamond! BUT, I do find it!! Thanks for the blog, John! And travel safely!

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STORMTMB 6/23/2010 9:41AM

    I found a quote recently that I think you'll like, "When you come to the end of yourself, God's Grace is all that sustains - And it is enough." I wear it around my neck to remind me of it over and over. I think He gives us the diamonds to remind us that He is there and still in control.

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KAT573 6/23/2010 9:02AM

    I have always preferred stones to diamonds! They are the foundation; diamonds are the diadems. So the importance of stones has never eluded me and the shine of diamonds has never enticed me; I know in gathering and placing my days of stone, my day of diamonds will follow.
Never underestimate the importance of days of stones, for they are the real bread of Life. Keep on keeping ON! emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 6/23/2010 9:00AM

    John, lots of people repeat weeks in the C25K plan, but I know how you feel. Why can't I do it all NOW? You are doing great, you know. Running while chunky is not easy, but it is worth it, It is amazing when you find that sweet spot in running. Gives you hope to keep doing it. There really are diamonds every day if we look for them; thanks for the reminder!


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OZARKMARY 6/23/2010 8:33AM

    Another amazing blog! Thanks! You are truly an inspiration! emoticon emoticon emoticonThink Snow!

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FROGGERHKC 6/23/2010 8:10AM

    Great blog, and congrats on your progress! I needed to hear this today, thank you for sharing!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CROBINGO 6/23/2010 8:00AM

    Great diamond! You are definitely making it happen despite the obstacles in your way. That is amazing and shows your committment - extremely impressive.

Your blog was my diamond and I believe it will spur me on today through my obstacles. Thanks. Very timely and needed.

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WIGIME 6/23/2010 7:59AM

    Wonderful, congratulations John.

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DOLLBABE56 6/23/2010 7:56AM

    What a great "ah ha" moment! Hang in there buddy! emoticon

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CRIS76 6/23/2010 7:48AM

    A very nice blog indeed. There is always a silver lining regardless of what is going on - its just sometimes, you have to REALLLLY look for it. I was going to suggest for the C25K to make your own music with your own voice overs :)

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Stuff Happens

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Did you know that thin people live in a perfect world? They must, otherwise they wouldn’t be thin. It’s those of us who are overweight who have all those fatal character flaws. That’s why we are overweight. I promise I won’t say this too very loud. We don’t want the whole world to hear: We believe it’s our fault. We believe there is something wrong with us.

Try this on for size. Did you ever think stuff just happens. That it’s really no one’s fault and that when I believe it’s always my fault and its one of the reasons I am over weight it is only a matter of how I perceive things and that its awfully arrogant of me to believe I can control the entire universe just because I have a pitiful self image some days? (That was a long sentence.)

I had one of those “stuff happens” days yesterday. I am in Nashville facilitating a union/management leadership summit and had a curve ball thrown at my schedule yesterday morning that basically caused me to put ten pounds of sugar in a five pound sack. Stuff happens.

Back in my pre Spark days I would have thrown my hands up and blamed myself, my poor eating habits my unhealthy appearance, etc, etc. I am upset I didn’t get my strength training in and I had to cut my cardio in half, but “stuff happens.”
The minute I allow that stuff to take control is the minute I go from being in control to being a martyr. That’s when the wheels fall off. I stayed well within my calorie guidelines and I slept well and I am looking forward to today being one of those great days that always follows the “stuff happens” day.

I can say that with confidence because I know there will be more days like yesterday in my future. Whether the absolutely great days like today come into play is entirely up to me.

Good, bad or indifferent, stuff happens. It’s got nothing to do with how much I weigh, it has everything to do with how I view myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HDHAWK 6/25/2010 9:36PM

    Be sure to focus on the good things you were able to accomplish! We all have those "stuff happens" days!

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NANASHANON 6/24/2010 10:59PM

    Positive thinking is the key. If you believe you can do something, odds are you will do it. Sure, we all have those stuff happens days. The key is to try to remember everything happens for a reason.

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MARCYNA 6/23/2010 3:34PM

    Stuff happens. It's the way we react that makes us either great or mean..., therefore our greatness is in the way we react - And I am so glad you reacted beautifully.....
Anyway sometimes I still believe skinny people live in a perfect world and they can do whatever they want..... emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/23/2010 3:35:35 PM

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ANNE-ELIZ 6/23/2010 1:17AM

    Hi John!

Another insightful blog! Thanks.

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DOLLIE6 6/22/2010 6:13PM

    Thanks John for sharing. I had one of those stuff days today.
And my husband said you know what the most important thing of today is, it is that I love you and you love me all the other stuff doesn't matter. I agree and tomorrow will be better or I will find something good about it anyway.

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WANDAH3 6/22/2010 5:28PM

    Amen my friend.


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    There will always be challenges but you will be the one in charge of how to respond to them. We can some times fail to meet our expectations without being a failure.

Comment edited on: 6/22/2010 3:39:12 PM

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JPRICE217 6/22/2010 3:28PM

    I always though thin people had a perfect life, and a perfect marriage, what else would your mate need since you are already thin. How wrong I was. Stuff happens to all of us it is how you handle it that makes a difference and you handled just fine.

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GERIKRAGH 6/22/2010 12:26PM

    I have this game I play when I see a thin person. Would I trade my fat one for their thin one, along with all their problems. The answer is NO. I don't want their personality, health problems, etc. It makes me feel good about me!

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WISEONE68 6/22/2010 11:28AM

    I agree!! Stuff does happen--but, how I react/act in the situation is up to me. I cam play the victim and forget the progress I have made (30+ pounds gone!!) or, I can "pick myself up and dust myself off...and, start all over again."

thanks for the reminder (my yesterday was "icky", too--for various reasons)!!


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CHRISSYVB 6/22/2010 11:12AM

    When I have a day like that I want to crawl in bed with my friends Ben and Jerry (not as dirty as it sounds). I try to remember that I can only control My actions and My thoughts and I have to leave everything else to God.

Your attitude will always affect your altitude in life.

Comment edited on: 6/22/2010 11:13:51 AM

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JAE_HENNINGTON 6/22/2010 10:36AM

  so true, it all starts with our thoughts.. I heard yeaes ago and it has stuck with me all these years. It is not so much what happens to us in life as it is how we choose to deal with what happens to us...

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GETFIT2LIVE 6/22/2010 10:35AM

    Precisely. Stuff happens; life happens when you're busy doing other stuff, too. It's when we decide that we are NOT victims, that we have a choice, that we begin to take back control in life over the things we can and not sweat the stuff we can't. There are days when all my plans go completely wonky (that's a technical term, you know), I don't get to exercise enough, and my food options are limited to poor, bad, and really bad. That does not mean I am a failure or that I'll never lose weight, however. We can *choose* whether to let a 'stuff happens' day derail us or strengthen us; way to go in choosing to be strengthened. Have a fabulous day, my friend!

Denise emoticon

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M_E_L_I_S_A 6/22/2010 10:03AM

    Great attitude. Everyone has days like these. We just have to move and hope the next day is better! emoticon

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DOLLBABE56 6/22/2010 9:35AM

    I'm not going to say I'm surprised that you had a difficult day yesterday, or that you'll never have another one. What I will say is, you like myself, have the choice to either give up or move forward towards our goals. To live life and not dwell on the things that we have allowed to get in our way is what we all have to try and strive to achieve. I know how hard it is for me (most of the time), so I can only assume it is for everyone else (you included). Sometimes it's just so darn hard. And, sometimes we give in. It's the next step, if we allow ourselves to accept what we experienced, that we have the power to conquer the moment and enjoy life.

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STORMTMB 6/22/2010 9:33AM

    Yep! Great attitude. Great Blog.

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DOCYJK 6/22/2010 9:31AM

    It is all about attitude, no doubt about it John. We can choose how we act, and how we react! I've had a bad couple of weeks, but yesterday was good, and today will be even better. I can only take steps forward because the past is in the past! Have an awesome day!!! Yvonne


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DAWNDMOORE40 6/22/2010 9:12AM

    Yes it's all in the way we look at things that happen in our life! I try to look at it as, "When God closes one door, he will open another." I don't know when because it's on his time frame, but I believe if I have enough faith, he will always work out the situation. Keep your chin up and have a great day! emoticon

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PINETREEGIRL 6/22/2010 9:08AM

    Yes--it's all perspective.
I think that the smaller benefit to working out is the exercise, and the larger benefit is the self-esteem boost and the confidence!
I love your image--10 pounds of sugar into a 5 pound sack...argh, how poignant. emoticon

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FROGGERHKC 6/22/2010 8:59AM

    I agree! Everyone has one of those days, but all we can do is accept that stuff happens and move on and not let it ruin another day. Hope today is a great day for you!


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GREENCAT1 6/22/2010 8:53AM

    I agree with you, John. Stuff happens to everybody. Your attitude is great. The day after IS a great day! Hugs!

Cathy emoticon

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Gaining Support

Monday, June 21, 2010

I’ll be the first person to stand up and admit I have whined and complained about not receiving the ever elusive “Support.” It comes in all shapes and sizes and I often use it as an excuse for not being successful as in “If I only had the support of my…….”

Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson, one of those Holy Spirit inspired moments, that was both humbling and motivating at the same time.

Joan and I have six children. That means Mother’s Day and Fathers Day often resemble Christmas morning. Despite our pleas to not go over board or “just get us a card……..” there are a coffee table full of gifts on Sunday morning. Yesterday was no different except for the type of gifts I received.

My daughters pooled their resources’ and got me a watch that calculates my heart rate and my calories burned along with a few neat other things. They said since I had started running I could use it. Two of my sons purchased me the book Vegetarian Cooking For Everyone by Deborah Madison, which is about 8 million pages long plus a magazine subscription to Cooking Light. Very cool. Finally, two other sons got me a very nice Wok, with all the stuff I need to burn the kitchen down with.

The best present was that moment of inspiration God chose to share with me. Each of the kids explained their reasoning for the choice of gift. They wanted to support my life style change and recognize what I accomplished. That’s when it hit me; ‘If you want support show some results to gain the support.” I did, I am and I will. I saw a very clear picture of me in the past throwing up all sorts of excuses for me not being healthy and the largest one was no support. But as I thought about it I realized who would want to support someone who isn’t, hasn’t and won’t do anything about their state of affairs? I mean I wouldn’t.

The moment my family saw I was serious: Those times when I opted for the gym rather than going to have a beer or eating at home and turning down an invite to eat at a restaurant they saw I had made a commitment.

People can’t and won’t support what they don’t see. Don’t misconstrue what I’ve said here. It doesn’t always have to be dropping sizes, inches or pounds. It simply comes when they see us living what we say.

The Bible puts it much better

“By their fruits ye shall know them.”

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HDHAWK 6/25/2010 9:34PM

    Just got back from vacation and am catching up on your blogs. What a wonderful gift your children gave you! Fantastic!

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JUNEBUG4967 6/23/2010 1:31PM

    Sounds like you had a wonderful Father's Day! And a great epiphany. It's wonderful when you realize something like this.

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WANDAH3 6/22/2010 7:27AM

    Don't you just love those "ahhhh" moments!

Hope you are having a great day,

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MAMA_PICANTE 6/22/2010 1:01AM

    Dear friend! As I read all of the words from your blogs, you are becoming a great inspiration in my life! I do need this in my life at this point in time. But who doesnt need them! You have to be a motivatioal speaker in your work field! If not God has placed you here where you belong! Thank you for uplifting me to realize I am and I can be!

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MISSYSHELLC 6/21/2010 10:48PM

    Very powerful blog! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you have great kids!

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PHEBESS 6/21/2010 9:28PM

    Hug those kids for me - they sound great!

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WATERMELLEN 6/21/2010 9:01PM

    Great great blog: if you want support, DO something that's supportable!! Gonna remember this, thanks!

(and your kids sounds like lovely people!)

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KLEONIKI 6/21/2010 7:21PM

All this change is good for you and for those you love too!
Isn't it the perfect motivation this loving supporting touch of family?
Last night i was talking in the car with my elder son and i mentioned my weight; he looked at me and told me:" hey1 don't pass it unoticed it is something we applaud at.." i felt i could run those extra miles completely refreshed by his eyes watching / budding my journey..
love dear friend

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JPRICE217 6/21/2010 6:28PM

    Great blog It is great when people notice the hard work you have done. Keep it up. Keep on showing your fruits.

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AZCUPCAKE 6/21/2010 4:08PM

    You have the courage of your convictions this time around, and your family can see it, plain as day! You will enjoy the Father's Day gifts they gave you even more than usual, because they will all be new "tools" in your ever-increasing healthy-living toolbox! Bravo to your family, but most of all, bravo to YOU. I count you as a wonderful source of personal support, by the way! emoticon

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BECCALYNN75 6/21/2010 2:02PM

    I need to print out, post, keep, memorize, etc. those last three paragraphs!

It sure was a Holy Spirit inspired moment for you, and one for me when I read this. He knows how hard headed I am and sent me to two similar blogs in a row. The other mentioned being your own cheerleader - you said your own support - same idea. Maybe hearing it twice will help it sink in for me!

People can’t and won’t support what they don’t see.
I need to apply this to my weight loss goals, and several other areas of my life.

Glad you had a great Fathers Day!

Comment edited on: 6/21/2010 2:08:06 PM

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SUSIEMILO 6/21/2010 1:29PM

    Excellent blog -- and so very true.
I heard a motivational speaker on tape years and years ago (Tony Robbins?? -- can't remember which one of them it was) and the basic message for achieving ANY kind of goal was:

There is no credit (the get it now and pay for it later kind of credit)
You have to do the work FIRST, and then see the results.
And, as you've pointed out, it apparently works that way with support as well. I never really thought about it before reading this, but it does make sense.
When we live the way we say we are/will -- people notice, and that's when they know we are serious about it.

That was an awesome gift you got (and the ones from your kids sound great as well)
You've been blessed with a great family, and they are blessed with a Dad that is doing a health make-over so that he will be there for them for a long time to come.
Great job John!
You're doing it right.

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CMBELISLE 6/21/2010 12:37PM

    There's about a million old sayings that come to mind. One being, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." Helping (and supporting) people is easy when they are willing to do something to help themselves and this is true in all aspects of life.

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SGRAY478 6/21/2010 12:37PM

    Well said!

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CRIS76 6/21/2010 12:09PM

    I realllly enjoyed this blog! Thank you for sharing and inspiring.

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MAWRTIAN 6/21/2010 9:58AM

    Preach brother!! Praise the Lord!! God still speaks to us and what a blessing are the times we hear Him. The scripture is alive and pertinent to our lives, YEAH!!!

This gives me hope that if I keep walking this Spark walk I will see some change too.

Thanks always for your blogs and Happy Fathers day!!!

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MARCYNA 6/21/2010 9:56AM

    Somewhere in the Bible the Lord says :'I'll help the corageuos fighter'
Up to us to be corageous fighters.
Then He'll give us His help emoticon

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JAE_HENNINGTON 6/21/2010 9:51AM

  I have always found myself getting upset with people who cry to me that they need my help and when I give them my support and advice they continue to go on and keep doing what they do without trying to change. Thanks for your insightful blog. You have given me some things to think about. May I say you are blessed to have a great supportive family, and even more they are blessed to be able call you dad

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GETFIT2LIVE 6/21/2010 9:46AM

    Funny how that works, isn't it? Once we make the commitment and actually start moving the right direction, we often discover support in unexpected ways and places. What a blessing!

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STORMTMB 6/21/2010 9:20AM

    Sounds like a great day, John, celebrating with your Holy Father and with your children. Sounds like there was a lot of excellent communication and love in all directions. You are blessed to have children who love you and recognize how they can support you on your journey. You also have a Father who speaks to you on a regular basis. And, like your children, you are listening to Him. Bless you and your continued journey.

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WALKNLOVE 6/21/2010 9:08AM

    God has given you such wisdom John! ( I think I will adopt you! ;) You have a beautiful family who supports you and THE GOD who also helps you on every step of your journey! You are truly blessed. I too, am blessed to call you friend because when God provides you with wisdom, and you share, that wisdom gets passed on to each of us. I can often relate to your struggles...and fortunately, I also seem to share your positive attitude, even though at times, doubt can also rear it's ugly head.BUT DOUBT is just like satan....speaking untruths into our, let us instead LISTEN to "THE WAY~THE TRUTH~THE LIGHT~THE LIFE" that guides us on THE PATH to Godly living (in all areas).Have a great day John! You are truly amazing! emoticon

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MINENA1 6/21/2010 8:58AM

    So very true! Great blog! You are blessed with GREAT kids! What a great Fathers Day you had. Hope you have a wonderful day!

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CINDYMCD1 6/21/2010 8:56AM

    You are blessed!

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WISEONE68 6/21/2010 8:54AM

    Amen! You know, I deal with something similar...I come from a family of overweight/large women. When I start to get healthier and lose weight, some of my family asks, "Why are you doing that? You are fine the way you are." (Read: we are all fat, just join the club!)

Well, this time around, I am telling all of them I am running this race in September (15K). All knew the last time I ran it I came in dead last---2 1/2 hours after starting.

A couple months ago, I got a note in the mail from my mother (one of the only folks still using the USPS!)--she had cut an article from Parade magazine with exercises for runners to warm-up before a race. In the margin she wrote: "maybe this will help." S-U-P-P-O-R-T

I shared just so you knew others experience the same frustration--and, the same "holy ghost" moments of realization!!

you are awesome!! and, an inspiration!!

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DOLLBABE56 6/21/2010 8:51AM

    So John, you did have a wonderful Father's Day! It was fantastic how everyone showed their support of you. It just proves that you sometimes have to "earn" support.

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DOLLIE6 6/21/2010 8:45AM

    Sooooooooooooo true. Have a great week.

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PEACHES_3954 6/21/2010 8:37AM

    Your kids sound really great! Good luck on your journey and with all of your goals

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ELLEN0407 6/21/2010 8:34AM

  your blog had me tearing up. you have a lovely family. i love the support they are giving you. they really believe in your quest for health and are behind you 100%. you are truly blessed not only because you have this great family but because you realize it too. have a wonderful day!

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