Wednesday, June 23, 2010
There is an old song that has a line it that goes, “Some days are diamonds, some days are stones.” I have come to believe that there are diamonds every single day of my life. It’s just that some days I have to look a bit harder for them than others.
It’s only Wednesday and this week has already been a challenge and a half. My travel level increased dramatically which means my food options decreased in proportion. The challenge became closing my eyes, and repeating to myself over and over ‘I will not eat off the dessert tray. I will not eat off the dessert tray.” Before you ask, of course there hasn’t been any fresh fruit!!! Breakfast has been okay because I have been able to get egg white omelet with fresh veggies and a banana. For lunch I ordered a chicken and veggie wrap that could have fed my family and I didn’t eat the wrap. I have gone to bed early but I always toss and turn when I am in a different hotel every night.
Yesterday afternoon when we finished our session at the labor leader summit I changed clothes and went to do week three of C25K. I have repeated the first three weeks because I have not felt comfortable moving on. That’s caused me inner anxiety because you know as a people pleaser I am always, always going to compare myself to other people and you know if I’m not better than I’m not equal. Why can’t I be like the cool kids? LOL
I have been using Robert Ullery’s podcasts to train with. He seems like a really cool guy but basically going into my sixth week, well the music is starting to get on my nerves and my mind is playing one of these “Let’s hurry up and get this over with!!!” tunes. It was ninety seven in Nashville yesterday and running outside at 3:00 pm would probably be suicide. Fortunately the hotel has a really good gym. I got on the treadmill and decided since I knew my intervals I was going to use my own music. As I warmed up I started to think about how frustrating this was getting because having to be better than everyone I hadn’t been able to run a 5K fifteen minutes after starting my training!!!
As I worked through the intervals something happened that has never happened to me before. I believe runners call it “finding your stride.” My mind was so distracted that it took a few seconds to realize I was jogging effortlessly and felt like I could do it forever. That’s where I found my diamond. It came from the past six weeks of grinding it out, switching my routine a bit and hanging in there.
The diamond is surrounded by a lot of stones but you know what? Those stones make it shine that much brighter. It sustained me. When I woke up this morning all the stones were still there but I knew the hard work will produce another diamond soon.
I use my running simply as an example. You might struggle a bit in other areas and just wonder if all this life style change stuff is a bunch of bunk. I do at least a thousand times a day. But then in His mercy, wisdom and love, God gives me a diamond to treasure and it sustains me.
This is tough stuff. It’s hard work. Please remember:
YOU ARE WORTH IT
YOU DESERVE IT
Have a good Wednesday
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Did you know that thin people live in a perfect world? They must, otherwise they wouldn’t be thin. It’s those of us who are overweight who have all those fatal character flaws. That’s why we are overweight. I promise I won’t say this too very loud. We don’t want the whole world to hear: We believe it’s our fault. We believe there is something wrong with us.
Try this on for size. Did you ever think stuff just happens. That it’s really no one’s fault and that when I believe it’s always my fault and its one of the reasons I am over weight it is only a matter of how I perceive things and that its awfully arrogant of me to believe I can control the entire universe just because I have a pitiful self image some days? (That was a long sentence.)
I had one of those “stuff happens” days yesterday. I am in Nashville facilitating a union/management leadership summit and had a curve ball thrown at my schedule yesterday morning that basically caused me to put ten pounds of sugar in a five pound sack. Stuff happens.
Back in my pre Spark days I would have thrown my hands up and blamed myself, my poor eating habits my unhealthy appearance, etc, etc. I am upset I didn’t get my strength training in and I had to cut my cardio in half, but “stuff happens.”
The minute I allow that stuff to take control is the minute I go from being in control to being a martyr. That’s when the wheels fall off. I stayed well within my calorie guidelines and I slept well and I am looking forward to today being one of those great days that always follows the “stuff happens” day.
I can say that with confidence because I know there will be more days like yesterday in my future. Whether the absolutely great days like today come into play is entirely up to me.
Good, bad or indifferent, stuff happens. It’s got nothing to do with how much I weigh, it has everything to do with how I view myself.
Monday, June 21, 2010
I’ll be the first person to stand up and admit I have whined and complained about not receiving the ever elusive “Support.” It comes in all shapes and sizes and I often use it as an excuse for not being successful as in “If I only had the support of my…….”
Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson, one of those Holy Spirit inspired moments, that was both humbling and motivating at the same time.
Joan and I have six children. That means Mother’s Day and Fathers Day often resemble Christmas morning. Despite our pleas to not go over board or “just get us a card……..” there are a coffee table full of gifts on Sunday morning. Yesterday was no different except for the type of gifts I received.
My daughters pooled their resources’ and got me a watch that calculates my heart rate and my calories burned along with a few neat other things. They said since I had started running I could use it. Two of my sons purchased me the book Vegetarian Cooking For Everyone by Deborah Madison, which is about 8 million pages long plus a magazine subscription to Cooking Light. Very cool. Finally, two other sons got me a very nice Wok, with all the stuff I need to burn the kitchen down with.
The best present was that moment of inspiration God chose to share with me. Each of the kids explained their reasoning for the choice of gift. They wanted to support my life style change and recognize what I accomplished. That’s when it hit me; ‘If you want support show some results to gain the support.” I did, I am and I will. I saw a very clear picture of me in the past throwing up all sorts of excuses for me not being healthy and the largest one was no support. But as I thought about it I realized who would want to support someone who isn’t, hasn’t and won’t do anything about their state of affairs? I mean I wouldn’t.
The moment my family saw I was serious: Those times when I opted for the gym rather than going to have a beer or eating at home and turning down an invite to eat at a restaurant they saw I had made a commitment.
People can’t and won’t support what they don’t see. Don’t misconstrue what I’ve said here. It doesn’t always have to be dropping sizes, inches or pounds. It simply comes when they see us living what we say.
The Bible puts it much better
“By their fruits ye shall know them.”
Friday, June 18, 2010
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