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Being Prepared and My New Running Shoes

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Our son Paul is a runner. At age twenty seven he runs mini and half marathons, 5k’s and any sort of race they will let him run in. His wife runs with him. When he found out, as he put it, “I was serious about starting to run,” he told me I needed to go with him and see his “shoe guy.” As he explained it, “Dad you really don’t want some high school junior who works at Dick’s part time fitting you for running shoes.”

Okay. I’ll admit I have had a lot of new experiences in the past six months or so. There is this virtue and it’s called faith. Every now and then you have to swallow really hard, admit you don’t know something and lift a cocked eye towards heaven and trust a person who appears to know what he is talking about, even if you changed his diapers for a few years.

Saturday morning he showed up at our hotel and took me to the “shoe guy.” When we walked in the door a very athletic looking man about thirty greeted me and asked me my name.

“Why does he need to know my name?” I thought.

He needed to know my name because if you are going to spend two hours with someone calling me John works a lot better than “sir” or even “Hey you!”
He had me take off my shoes and socks and began to walk me through a process that measured both feet sitting and standing. He measures my arches. He smiled, got up and went behind a curtain. When he returned he held a box.

“I want you to put these on only so I can measure how you run.”

He proceeded to show me how to lace the shoes, put them on, tie them and make sure they were tight. He pointed to a treadmill by the store window and asked me to warm up for a minute or so and then jog for a minute or so. As he explained it, he would be videotaping my feet to see how I ran and how my feet fell when they hit the surface.

So here is fat old me in this store with all these very lean people making the earth shake for a few minutes. When I got off the treadmill, he smiled again and disappeared. He returned with six boxes of shoes and we went through the process of finding the right ones for me. He had me try on some amazing socks which felt like part of heaven had settled in my feet. He explained how the most important thing about these shoes was supporting my arches. He had me run more. When I picked a pair of shoes we moved on to inserts. This entailed another fifteen to twenty minutes of trying inserts in the shoes I purchased until I found the ones that supported me the best.

Total time: two hours.

“Jog up and down the street if you like,” he said.

I jogged to the corner and called Joan. The price for all of this was around two hundred dollars. You don’t stay married for thirty six years by just randomly spending that kind of money on shoes. She listened to me for a minute and said:

“Well, if you don’t get what you need, six months from now you’ll be sitting in an orthopedic surgeons office and the minimum we’ll be paying is the one thousand dollar deductible on our health insurance.”

Case closed. I purchased the shoes along with the amazing comfortable socks.

Other than wanting to tell you just how cool it was to buy the shoes and share my happiness with you there is a point in here somewhere.

“Fail to plan. Plan to fail.” There are so many times in my life I have just lunged into things and wondered why I wasn’t successful at them. It was because I hadn’t prepared. Lack of preparation comes from wanting to change our current reality so quickly that we don’t have to admit parts of our lives are messed up. Instead, we push forward motivated by some false thought that we are different than everyone else. We can hit fast forward and get there quicker than everyone else.

We are not different. We are wonderful, marvelous, beautiful, loved and cherished by God, but we have to prepare for everything we do or we won’t succeed.
It’s why we measure our food, chart our exercise, step on the scale and take the tape to out hips, stomach and thighs. We are preparing. We are preparing for those wonderful moments we etched in our minds. They are our goals.

Buying the shoes was fun, but more importantly, as I tested them out when we got home, I found that one action increased my confidence and my ability to do something I was still a bit shaky about.

From time to time people will tell me I am a good writer. I have to smile because you don’t see how many times I hit the back space key or high light a whole paragraph to delete before I am satisfied with what I wrote. I am a terrible speller and have taken to writing my blogs in Microsoft Word and then pasting them here because Word automatically corrects so many spelling errors. Writing like running and many of the things that give you great satisfaction require preparation and the right tools in order to be successful.

Good health requires preparation. That’s why you and I are here. That’s why it’s more than a diet.

Have a blessed Wednesday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HLPRATT 6/14/2010 10:27AM

    Yes your feet are very important to running. I need to find a shoe guy like that.
I was 45 before I ever ran and I'm not a real runner but I find when I get on the treadmill now I'm not satisfied with just walking anymore. I just did the superman 4 mile in Metroplis in 47 minutes. Races are fun even if you don't win. You'll love it when you try it.

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TULIPCHICK91 6/7/2010 3:05PM

    Your blog was timed perfectly for me to read it. I also went out and got fitted for shoes this week and got a little critcism for spending $100 and several hours of my time. You (and your wife) have reaffirmed that I did the right thing. Thank you for another thoughtful and well-written blog.

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ELIZABETH525 6/4/2010 10:18AM

    You ARE a wonderful writer. It is the process and the end result that makes you a writer. We do not care that you are a horrible speller. That is what spell check is for. What we love is how articulate you are, how your words flow and how every line you write has meaning and impact!

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DOLLIE6 6/3/2010 2:51PM

    Thanks for sharing John, very interesting. We really do need to take care of our feet. Look what we put them through.

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AZCUPCAKE 6/3/2010 1:26PM

    Joan is one smart cookie, and you are so blessed to have her for your "sole-mate!" Haha! Pun intended! I am glad you purchased a pair of shoes and socks that will make your running more efficient AND enjoyable. And if you STILL need something to seal the deal in your mind, think of all the times in the past when you put the not-so-great food into your shopping cart and paid for it without blinking an eye! You are making a MUCH better choice in getting that amazing footwear!!! BRAVO! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WANDAH3 6/3/2010 7:23AM

    Thats what I need..."a shoe guy". I'm going to have to ask around to see if there is anyone here that would fit me with a proper fitting shoe! Love it.

Good luck with the running.


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VAEMPYRESS 6/3/2010 6:04AM

    Love it, I too just went and got my new running shoes fitted by my "shoe guy" I think I took an hours or so.
I'm with PRINCESSNURSE though, What shoes did you get?

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    Another very true and thus very wise blog......but the real question is-what kind of shoes did you get?

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STOLTZY64 6/2/2010 10:48PM

    WOW! I never heard of such a shoe fitting as that! What a process!!

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KATIEGLEN012 6/2/2010 10:11PM

    Wow. I know for a fact that good tools produce a quality product, so it makes sense to buy good shoes, but this guy was fabulous. Sounds like he really knows what's up. Lucky for you you listened to the "kid". emoticon How is it they know so much?????

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HAWAIILINDA 6/2/2010 10:10PM

    John, Thank you again! I am going to use the lesson learned in your experience. The planning that is so important to succeed. I haven't been planning ahead at all not , meals, not exercise I'm just trying to do the best I can each day. I do need to plan both a plan A and a plan B. If I'd had a plan B today I would have been prepared for the late lunch that I ended up with and had something healthy at hand instead of falling back on a drive thru meal. I can also have a plan B for exercise so that when something gets in the way I have something to fall back on.

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KSGROTHE 6/2/2010 7:57PM

    emoticon on getting out of your comfort zone and getting fitted for good running shoes! Your feet thank you, I'm sure!

I really should get some good shoes myself. I'd like to try the Couch-to-5K program, and I have no running shoes. Even the walking shoes I have aren't very comfortable. And my hiking shoes were not very good on my long hike over the weekend.

Keep up the good work! emoticon

- Karen

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DOLLBABE56 6/2/2010 7:43PM

    That must have been a very interesting experience. It is so hard to get a good fit on athletic shoe. I think that going to a shop like you did would be awesome.

We don't always give our feet enough care. Think about it. I know I've been guilty of buying those "oh so cute" shoes. You know, the ones with the spiky heals and pointy toes. In other words, I've tortured my poor tootsies. And believe me, I've paid for it.

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JPRICE217 6/2/2010 7:36PM

    You'r right about the right shoes. 1 1/2 weeks ago I walked faster and farther tnen I ever had and I hurt my foot and it still hurts. I am going to have to find out were I can be fitted. emoticon so I can emoticon

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TERESAAVIL 6/2/2010 6:15PM

  Thank you for this information. I have problem with my feet so I should go to a professional who would know what I need.
Think it would be a cheaper investment then what I am doing at this time.

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STORMTMB 6/2/2010 5:56PM

    John, I think you left out part of the story that I'm sure took place... the big hug and "thank you, son" to Paul for introducing you to YOUR "shoe guy," another new friend on your journey. I'm sure Paul was thrilled for you!

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FANAMAMA 6/2/2010 5:43PM

    I'm saving up for a good pair of running shoes myself! In fact, I've used it was one of my rewards for reaching a certain weight. I'm hoping my knees don't give out before then!
Thanks for a great reminder that we have to go about all this with open eyes and a plan, not just blindly following some food and exercise plan. That right there is a plan to fail.

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SKE1283 6/2/2010 5:28PM

  The right tools make a BIG difference between getting fit and getting hurt.

When I made the commitment to walk in my first Susan G Komen 3-Day (60-mile) walk this coming October, I went to FleetFeet of Atlanta to get outfitted with the right athletic shoes. It was so worth it, I haven't had a hint of trouble with my feet since I was fitted with the right socks and the right sneakers with the right inserts. :)

I figured I needed to make the investment in doing this right so that my training would build me up, not tear me down.

Thanks for sharing!! emoticon

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WISEONE68 6/2/2010 5:03PM

great blog! you are right about planning to fail (I used that saying, fail to plan/plan to fail as the title of blog once--great minds, huh? emoticon).
i am so glad you took the time to get the right equipment for what you want to accomplish. i bought a food scale, lots and lots of measuring cups, single serving food containers, etc. when i started all this...I was READY for whatever came.
i even allowed myself to spend money on shoes (tho, not as much as you did!) and workout clothes...and, more since losing some weight!! I will have to buy shoes again before my 15K run in September--
we deserve to "pamper" (not really a GUY word, sorry) ourselves!! good for you--and, good for your son to recognize you are SERIOUS, dude!!!!!

be well!!

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TRACYDUKA 6/2/2010 3:07PM

    I'm not near ready for running shoes yet, but I'll have to find someone who is a "shoe guy" or knows a "shoe guy", because I have cranky feet! I wish them much luck getting me a good fit. :D I do so love your blog though. It makes me feel so MOTIVATED. :)

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 6/2/2010 12:13PM

    I loved getting my new "running" shoes! It was so nice to have someone help you find just what you need to make something that's hard to do a little bit better. I'm saving up now to get new ones when the current ones wear out in the near future.

Way to go John! Keep up the great work!


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MOMGABE 6/2/2010 11:47AM

    Great blog! I went and got fitted for shoes in January at a store that specializes in running shoes. Very similar experience. I also ended up with shoes, inserts and socks. But I have to say, after running in them for 5 months, they have been great. No problems with feet, ankles, legs, etc. Well worth the money.

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    Hey, good job, John. Sounds like quite an experience. Of course you will be obligated to run in those new shoes now or suffer my wrath. LOL. emoticon

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JUNEBUG4967 6/2/2010 10:56AM

    John, A lot of your thoughts today struck home for me. I guess I'll have to find my own "shoe guy" here in OKC as the last 2 prs. have left me dissatisfied and uncomfortable. I also need to get an appt w/Dr. to see about some issues with toes. That might be part of the "uncomfortable" part. But the part that really struck me was the comments on preparation or lack thereof. I have my own challenges and have not been towing the line as I should. This is letting me become lax in areas where I should have miniscule "wiggle room". Thanks!

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RONDAJONES 6/2/2010 10:51AM

    Does your son have a "shoe guy" in Columbus? I have been wanting to go to one! LOL Seriously!

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CMBELISLE 6/2/2010 10:44AM

    Well, this blog couldn't have come at a better time. I've been contemplating getting fitted for "real" running shoes rather than just going to Wal-Mart and picking up what feels most comfortable for me. I'm cheap when it comes to shoes, so shelling out $100 to $200 has been giving me anxiety attacks. Your blog reminded me that in the long run, it will be much less expensive to just pay for the shoes.


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GETFIT2LIVE 6/2/2010 10:14AM

    You are so right, John--taking time to prepare properly and having the right tools makes all the difference in both our confidence and our success! Your shoe buying experience sounds much like mine. I love love love my shoes that I got there AND especially the socks ($25 for three pair of socks, on top of HOW much for shoes?!). It was absolutely worth the investment of time and money along with the potential for embarrassment (YOU are a runner?). Now I've taken the next big step, signing up for a running club--one little action increases confidence and our ability to do something we are shaky about.

I look forward to hearing how your training is going; remember no matter how fast or slow you are going with the training, you're on your way, and that already makes you a runner. And yes, you are a good writer, whether you rely on Word to help you or not--Word can't put together a sentence or a thought, only tell you if a word is in the dictionary or not!


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BECCALYNN75 6/2/2010 10:08AM

    This part could have been written just for me:
"Lack of preparation comes from wanting to change our current reality so quickly that we don’t have to admit parts of our lives are messed up. Instead, we push forward motivated by some false thought that we are different than everyone else. We can hit fast forward and get there quicker than everyone else."

Momma always said I have two speeds - stop and full speed ahead. Sometimes that is a blessing, and sometimes a curse.

I can also relate to what you said about your writing. When someone compliments one of my photos I usually laugh to myself and think about how many other shots I deleted to get that one.

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JAE_HENNINGTON 6/2/2010 9:56AM

  you are so right...i smiled when you talked about being a good writer. I am a writer also, and I go through those same things.When I go back and read what I have read, I laugh because I am always leaving words out or spelling words wrong.. or sometimes it takes me days to get something to sound good enough to post

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DAWNDMOORE40 6/2/2010 9:39AM

    Good for you on buying a good pair of running shoes! I hope you are now able to go out with your son and run a marathon! emoticon

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WEEZIE1122 6/2/2010 9:01AM

    I knew it. I just knew it. I'm not the only one that uses Word first.

Great blog again John.

We love you

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HDHAWK 6/2/2010 8:58AM

    Good for you John! Do tell, what is the brand of socks you bought? I have found some I like, but I usually buy ones that don't quite hit the mark!

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SANDYK4BAMA 6/2/2010 8:52AM

    So tell us please, Dear John, what kind of socks were those anyway? I have only one pair of socks that has ever felt remotely good, and I don't know what brand they are. I am tortured by socks because I can't stand the seams on the inside of the toe area, and it is a rare occasion to find some without that. But to find some that feel like heaven - well, please please, elaborate. I need me some of these!!

Thanks for your blog. I haven't been on much lately as I started a new job, and I didn't know if I was allowed to SPARK all day long like I did at home. But alas, now I'm starting to feel my way around, and I'm back to the Feel Good Column of John. You can't imagine how much better you make me feel about myself with the words you bestow upon us everyday. Know that always, if you don't get anything else accomplished in a day, if you wrote your blog, I got something good out of it. You are one of the highlights of my day! Thank you again for your blog, and most of all, thank you for just being YOU! emoticon

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BUGGYS 6/2/2010 8:48AM

    Good shoes and arch support makes all the difference, doesn't it? A couple of years ago, I went through the same knee kept hurting when I walked and now I am pain free...John, it really doesn't matter about the is about your health and how you are going to get was nice that you called your wife but she was right...think about YOU, and the rest will fall into have a good son and he must be so proud of his dad! emoticon

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MARCYNA 6/2/2010 8:37AM

    Love it. I have high arched feet and it took me years to accept they were different from 'normal' feet.
One day my trainer told me it's the best for athletes as it promotes dynamics.
I've never had a shoe guy - too expensive for me - but I'm gonna get one.
Congrats 2 you , dear wife and clever son
PS Being prepared is the key. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/2/2010 8:38:03 AM

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BRYLIA 6/2/2010 8:27AM

    Sounds like one awesome running shoe experience...did you get to run a little with your son? He must be so proud of you like we all are...keep up the great effort and most importantly have fun!!!


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WISHIEGIRL 6/2/2010 8:23AM

    Isn't the whole running shoe process amazing? I mean, who would have thought that all of that was necessary to find the right running shoe? And yet it is.

It's kind of like the process we need to go through to make this lifestyle change. There's dozens of little adjustments to go through.... try them on, and then more adjustments. Thanks for this blog post - I needed to read this today.

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Learning Success Through Failure

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

I had a crummy week last week. I am not asking for pity or sympathy or condolences. In some respects it was the best week I have had since joining Spark.

Let me say right off that I am very quick to give the credit for most of these insights to you who support me and have become my friends. So before we get started please stand up and take a bow.

Let me tell you what I learned:

Success is much more difficult to deal with than failure and……………. Ultimately if we don’t get used to being successful right now, bit by bit, when we reach all those wonderful goals we put on our collage, we will crash and burn because we will have no idea how to handle the success. We won’t be able to sustain it.

Success is a process not a destination. Vacation is a destination. We celebrate it, enjoy it, take pictures of it then pack up the car and head back to “our lives.” Success is a process that if done correctly allows us to become comfortable with a new environment.

Real success and our inability to prepare for it is why so many of us have failed at dieting. Dieting is a myth, a fable and a very cruel mistress. How many of you have participated in “fast start programs?” They are advertised as the ability to lose a chunk of weight in a hurry so we feel better about ourselves and can sustain the long and arduous dieting process. While the body drops a few inches and pounds, which are mostly water and someone cashes our check, we are fooled into believing we are a success. So we starve and we over exercise and we watch the scale needle start to move slower and slower and we arrive at our goal and nothing in our life has changed. Pass the mashed potatoes please and while you’re at it the butter.
A few months later we find ourselves sitting in the middle of an empty field called despair and we wonder what’s wrong with us? Why are we so flawed? We are not. Mostly we fool ourselves into believing the world is going to change its ways for us and that we are really going to look like the people on the cover of Vogue and Maxim.

Success is a process that is galvanized by failure. Yes, you read that correctly. I had so many failures last week that I’d be here all morning detailing them all. Suffice to say they taught me that there are going to be times that I have to bend a little so I don’t break in two. There are days I am not going to get all my exercise in because it’s ninety seven outside and there is not a tread mill in sight. I learned that it’s really bad for your spirit if you sit in a restaurant and curse the world because “you can’t have this or that.” You split a dessert with your wife because at that moment it’s the thing to do.

You learn to be comfortable with your successes. You learn that you are going to have weeks where your blood pressure bottoms out, you over eat a bit and aren’t able to get all your exercise in and that despite all these allegedly fatal character flaws you are still a very wonderful and lovable person!!!

You learn success is not an event to take a picture of but the sweet journey of your life time that should be savored and enjoyed. After all, your grand daughter isn’t going to be four forever and how often to you get to be thirty feet away from all The Kardashian sisters?

You learn from your friends here at Spark so that when you look to your left and your right you see them sweating and huffing and puffing like you are. You watch them stumble and trip and you stick out your hand to help them up because you know the minute you stumble and fall, they will stick their hands out for you. Once you understand that and hold it very close in your heart, then you have learned the meaning of success.

Lasting success is born of a hard night of the labor of our failures the ultimate will and desire to triumph over those failures, just like you do every day.

See, you are already a success.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCDROLSHAGEN 6/8/2010 10:03AM

    Yeah I've been there too. I did WW a couple of times and did great until I got lazy, forgot to exercise and yeah the goodies came back to haunt me. 30+ lbs later I was worse off than when I started. As far as the success thing, it is a bunch of hard work but worth it. Now when I transgress, I forget it and start again. So I had a Deep fried Moon pie for dessert when I ate out (and wow after low fat and low sugar regime it felt like I had died and gone to heaven!!!) But it is behind me now (maybe literally) and I have healthy food in my fridge at the moment and my 30 + lbs lost will stay lost. The next 30 lbs are ahead of me and they will go too. I know that I am a successful person too. Here's to success for all of us at SP. emoticon

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JUDIL62 6/4/2010 2:56PM

    So true....thanks for another great blog!

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LUCYSRAIN 6/4/2010 2:08AM

    This journey to success is becoming more and more uplifting...

Thank you for your insight, I finally "get" it!


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BELLAMIMI1 6/3/2010 11:25PM

    Nice. A heartfelt thanks to you!

Sorry for the duplicate post! My laptop was running slow.

Comment edited on: 6/3/2010 11:32:38 PM

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BELLAMIMI1 6/3/2010 11:25PM

    Nice. A heartfelt thanks to you!

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CMBELISLE 6/2/2010 9:31AM

    As I always say, enjoy the journey as much as the destination.

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KASEYCOFF 6/2/2010 6:59AM

    Nice, fella, really nice - good thinking and good writing. :-)

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CHERIRIDDELL 6/1/2010 11:24PM

    Well said .One of my favourite quotes is :"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that's where you will find success."
- Thomas J. Watson

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HAWAIILINDA 6/1/2010 9:56PM

    I learned this week that I was not prepared for a change in my usual routine, and when I was disappointed in myself my spark friends helped me move forward. I think as long as we are learning we are working our journey.

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WALKNLOVE 6/1/2010 7:57PM

    I had a bad week as well. I still have a lot to learn.Glad I am not alone on my journey.Together, we will learn & grow & accomplish....even if at times it is 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.Even when we "fail", we aren't really failing, we are learning what does not work, so we don't go there again....all on the way to our final destination...success!

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USFBULL 6/1/2010 7:07PM

    Thanks John, and get out of my field, lol, this journey is awesome and some avenues are not the right paths but like you say you look to the left and to the right and there are your sparkfriends chugging along and finding things that don't work and things that work well right along with you. In fact sometimes I think I will just go off and be in misery by myself and the field has a whole bunch of spark people in it waiting to go Do Something. AAAAArrrrgggh! That is when I get to laugh at myself and go for a walk. emoticon emoticon

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KATIEGLEN012 6/1/2010 6:49PM

    The trick is to learn to enjoy the process, because a process it is...not a destination. Some weeks will be better than others, it's all part of the journey!

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DUTCHIEKIWI 6/1/2010 6:41PM

  Once you have tasted success, any personal success that's it... you're hooked.

Nothing tastes sweeter.

I know now how I feel when I achieve personal goals, little ones big ones, there is no way back.

I want more and more and more and more......

The feeling of becoming a winner in our lives journey is just magic!!

Good luck John, as there is NO WAY BACK!!!

Dutchie, with you ALL THE WAY!!!


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EDWINA172 6/1/2010 4:05PM

    "Success is a process that is galvanized by failure." I love that line! I used to be so afraid of failure that I was frozen. I'd never start anything. I was not living. Now, I view "failure" as feedback. It tells me what works, what doesn't and that I still have to keep trying. Because if I don't try, what else is there? Do I stop living?
Keep on writing John. I look forward to reading your status updates and your blogs.

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TERESAAVIL 6/1/2010 2:11PM

  Yes, life comes with struggles and things don't always go smoothly but we can always seek after the positive outlook because we know it's the best way to go.
You let yourself down and feel like you are not moving forward but tomarrow is another day. Bottom line we are all seeking after a better, healthier way of life.
Thank you for your honesty and openness. We are all hanging in there for one another. Isn't that awesome!

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JAE_HENNINGTON 6/1/2010 2:04PM

  There is much to learn on this journey. It isn't all about the number on the scale. One of the biggest wake up calls I got in my life was losing sixty pounds and then not being ready for the way my life changed and how many treated me as a thin person opposed to being fat. I wish there were more emphasis at Sparks for the reality of of living as a thin person.. Loved the blog, spot on as always

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AZCUPCAKE 6/1/2010 1:26PM

    I love that image of 'the empty field called despair.' Don't get me wrong -- I don't LIKE BEING THERE! I just love the visual. I have been there time and time again....all roads seemed to lead back to that darn field! I would like to say I will never pass that way again, but I know I will. And when I do, I will try to see it for what it is - a temporary setting. Not the place I have been assigned to build my little mud hut in! Yes, success does take getting used to. And it is not always what we thought it would be, or it is not what we thought it would "feel" like. I am a great one to sabotage myself when I get close to success, because I think that deep down I FEAR success. After all, once you achieve one success, there are so many other things we could conquer, and it seems overwhelming to me. Besides that old eight-track tape loop that plays over and over: 'If you would have started sooner, look how many MORE things you could have succeeded AT?!' So silly, yet so true. Hang in there, John. You have achieved so much, and become such a blessing to all of your SparkPals! My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hey, at least you SHARED a dessert with Joan instead of wolfing a whole one down yourself! THAT is progress in and of itself, my friend! Just get back on your horse and don't look back! emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 6/1/2010 12:06PM

    All I can say is YES! You said it so well. Success is not a destination but a process, and it's one we have to learn to be comfortable with or we will go right back where we started, because THAT is where we have learned to be comfortable. We weren't happy back there where we started, but it was comfortable. Part of this journey must be learning a new way to live and a new place to be comfortable, or we haven't really begun making lifestyle changes. Thanks, John--and congratulations on failing and learning! That's the real mark of success, learning from our failures, getting back up, and moving on from there.


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PRINCESSNURSE 6/1/2010 11:40AM

    Great post. I believe that in most cases the only things worth having are the things that cost us a lot to achieve. My failures in the area of weight loss have cost me a lot--but I have learned and benefited from each of them

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SUZANDALE 6/1/2010 11:15AM

    I can certainly empathize with the bad week last week!! I'm not sure what did it for me, but I am back on track and looking forward to the rest of this week!! You are an amazing person, John, and a great inspiration!! You help me to know that I CAN DO THIS!! So thank you for that!! Keep up the good work!

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ALLISON145 6/1/2010 11:12AM

    This post was very timely for me, John - thank you. Somewhere in the process of celebrating being "ALMOST!!!" to 25 pounds down from my highest weight, I forgot that I'm not an expert at this yet by any stretch of the imagination and I need to maintain my structure and keep my guard up. I can't "just" eat some candy and drink some pop because it "won't hurt." I just can't. Maybe I could if I calculated it into my daily totals, but I didn't. So I shouldn't have, but I did. I got complacent too quickly. This put me up on the scale this week instead of down. Hopefully your "slips" didn't have as big of an impact as mine did!

Here's to both of us stepping it back up this week!

emoticon emoticon emoticon


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    As of today John you are back on plan. No more excuses. No looking back. Onward!!

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TNTEACHER2 6/1/2010 9:32AM

    Well, John, you are still my inspiration, and you are correct. Success in not about ALWAYS doing well, and being best. I will look for your blog tomorrow.

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THAMLEY 6/1/2010 9:13AM

    Yep, the journey begins with one step. We chose the right step, but we will get sidetracked. What's wonderful is we have all the support and tools(right here) to get us right back where we need to be. Thanks for the wonderful post--Wishing you a very successful week! Sparkling T

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HDHAWK 6/1/2010 9:04AM

    As always John, wonderful insight.

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JPRICE217 6/1/2010 8:46AM

    Good blog the best of plans can't always go as planed. We need to learn to go with the flow at times.

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The Long Weekend......... "It Aint Over Till It's Over."

Monday, May 31, 2010

We will be headed back to Owensboro this afternoon sometime after a whirlwind visit with all the kids plus a trip to the Indianapolis 500 to sit in temperatures of 93, 95 or 97 degrees depending on which source you choose to believe. It was hot. Thank goodness we sat in the grand stand and were under some cover. I havent been to Indy in fifteen years and I had a good time.

Off to visit our grand daughter just a bit more and then home. I need to run!!! It's been since Friday.

Have a great Monday and TTYL

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZCUPCAKE 6/1/2010 1:28PM

    We watched the race on TV -- exciting ending! I am glad you had fun! emoticon

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DUTCHIEKIWI 5/31/2010 11:24PM

  Sounds like you're having a great road trip!! Enjoy!



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WANDAH3 5/31/2010 9:02PM

    Garry is so green with envy that you got to actually sit in the stands! lol

He did say that there was a very bad accident near the end of the race. The driver was okay though.

I'm thinking that we just might have to plan a get together at one of the races! lol


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JPRICE217 5/31/2010 6:17PM

    So glad you had a good time have a save trip back home.

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2BEATIT1 5/31/2010 4:07PM

    Always good when you can see the grandkids. Sad to say I will probably have to wait another year before visiting them (3000 miles away).
When you talked of Indy 500, it reminded me of a wedding we attended in southern Ohio. We tried to get a motel room all the way from Kalamazoo and couldn't find any due to the Indy 500. What a nightmare!.
Have a great day and a great God blessed week John

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JUSTFOXXY 5/31/2010 3:22PM

    You do the same!

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CHANGE_4_ME 5/31/2010 2:48PM

    Safe traveles to you.

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KATIEGLEN012 5/31/2010 2:48PM

    Enjoy yourself!

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DEWBERRYJAMIE 5/31/2010 2:29PM

    Glad you had a good time visiting family!!

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    sounds great even in that heat!!

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KLEONIKI 5/31/2010 8:40AM


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WISEONE68 5/31/2010 8:36AM

    I haven't seen the Indy 500 in years. Being from Indiana originally, I was kinda shocked when I came down here and it was televised. When I was little, it was blacked out in all of Indiana--I guess they figured everyone in Indiana should ATTEND the race rather than watch it on TV.

It is hot outside for sure. Glad you had time to spend with family...what a great way to celebrate the long weekend!!

Blessings, Friend!!

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HONORINGGOD 5/31/2010 8:20AM

    glad to here your having a good weekend emoticon

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HONORINGGOD 5/31/2010 8:20AM

    glad to here your having a good weekend emoticon

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HDHAWK 5/31/2010 8:20AM

    Sounds like you're having a great weekend. Enjoy it! We were at a cajun festival yesterday and it was 91 and humid. Needless to say I'm sunburned, but it was fun!

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Peace of Mind

Friday, May 28, 2010


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME4AFITME 7/4/2010 7:50PM

    Great blog. I get such a great feeling after listening to one of your vlogs or reading a blog. thank you for being you

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KASEYCOFF 6/2/2010 7:09AM

    Good blog, good motivation - great points about commitment and making choices. My favorite quote is attributed to Abraham Lincoln, 'Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.' Yepper, it's all about choices, ain't? :-)

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KLEONIKI 5/30/2010 4:58PM

    hello dear John!
Have a nice week and stay as positive and good as you are!

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MISHKALA 5/30/2010 4:10PM

    Thank you John for the wonderful words of encouragement. It's a long battle and it's easy to get discouraged. Especially when I have hormonal weight gain. You're kind words were just what this tired soul needed. God bless and have a wonderful time with your family! emoticon

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STOLTZY64 5/30/2010 2:39PM

    John...I love your blogs! They keep me encouraged, and they show what a special, sweet person you are. Have a wonderful weekend. You are part of my new family too!!

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WANDAH3 5/30/2010 10:11AM

    Thank you John, your support and encouragement is so appreciated.


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SUZANDALE 5/29/2010 1:01PM

    Thanks again, John!! I have had a really bad week and not sure why! The one thing I have done right is to check in daily with SP! I make sure I read blogs for support, motivation, and encouragement! And you never let me down! LOL! Have fun this weekend! And thanks for being here!
Luv ya!!

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JPRICE217 5/29/2010 8:56AM

    John you are the special one! I am pleased that you think of me as family, because I think of you as my family. Look forward to herring about your weekend. Love jane.

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SHER11 5/29/2010 12:29AM

    Thank you John for your video blog. Always motivational and inspirational.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Love ya too

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XENA1956 5/28/2010 11:05PM

    Great blog. Have a great time at Indy 500, wish I could be there with you. Love the car races, Indy or Nascar. Hope you have Peace of Mind for the rest of your life. And I love the fact that you help children. Another A+ for you emoticon

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HAWAIILINDA 5/28/2010 10:14PM

    thanks once again John, I hope you have an excellent long weekend!

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JUSTFOXXY 5/28/2010 9:43PM

    John, you are a wonderful man.

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PUCCIOLA08 5/28/2010 6:03PM

    Hi John,

I'm brand new to SP, just joined early this morning. You are the first blog that I have subscribed to, I loved the optimism of this blog. I have been feeling down lately, which is when I decided it was time to reach out and seek help, and I found this amazing website and your blog made me seriously smile. I'm 22 and i hope this doesn't sound weird but you remind me so much of my father. He is in Germany right now and has been there for a few months and I miss him like crazy, so needless to say your blogs seem extra special to me :)

I hope to see more of your blogs soon!


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TINKERBELL200 5/28/2010 5:59PM

    Wonderful blog John! Love the optimist creed, first line! Good line to live by! Thank you for the encouragement! Have a great time with the family this weekend! The race sounds very exciting!
And never give up! And yes, we're still here! Two years with Spark's now! I'm so very thankful I found it! God bless!

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ALLISON145 5/28/2010 5:32PM

    I love your video blogs, John. Thank you!


Have a great weekend!


Comment edited on: 5/28/2010 5:33:08 PM

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RONDAJONES 5/28/2010 5:00PM

    Looked up that poem up online...hanging this all over my house! LOL I went to the Indy back in '90...haha. I had just gotten my car back from the shop a week or two earlier, drove there in the middle of the night. I reached the "line" about 5AM and by 7 my car broke down. Cam Shaft bolt cam off. ALLLLLLL those one would help me push it! LOL My friend and I pushed it through the line because I was NOT missing it! I had won tickets from the local radio station. Anyway, we were behind a guy that was leaking a bunch of something out of his ended up being water. He had it packed LITERALLY with ice and beer! LOL Funniest time I have ever had! Enjoy!

Comment edited on: 5/28/2010 5:08:29 PM

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LIFEGENESIS 5/28/2010 3:36PM

    Thank you for your sincere words. ((HUGS)) You are a great motivation/inspiration.

Oh yeah...and one more thing.

I promise.

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KSGROTHE 5/28/2010 3:26PM

    emoticon for this great video blog, John! I may have to listen to this sometimes when I'm feeling down. It's very uplifting!

Have fun in Indy! You'll be within 5 - 10 miles of my parents and sisters! (I grew up about 5 miles or so from the Indy 500 racetrack, but I've never attended the race!) I'll be camping at Big Pine with the boy scouts this weekend.

- Karen

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2BEATIT1 5/28/2010 2:45PM

    Hi John,
You are such an inspiration and encouragement to the rest of us. Thanks for taking the time each day to write your blogs.
As I read your latest one, I felt your thoughts could be summed up in the words of the old hymn ONE DAY AT A TIME by Cristy Lane
May these words encourage you and all your readers to remember we are only promised today. So let us take One Day At A Time. and trust the Lord for His strength.


I'm only human, I'm just a woman.
Help me believe in what I could be
And all that I am.
Show me the stairway, I have to climb.
Lord for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.

One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time.

Do you remember, when you walked among men?
Well Jesus you know if you're looking below
It's worse now, than then.
Cheating and stealing, violence and crime
So for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.


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ADVENTUREGIRL04 5/28/2010 2:05PM

    This is such a great blog!! Very inspirational!!!

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TEACHINMOM 5/28/2010 1:34PM

    Great, GREAT blog!! THANKS~I needed to hear this today. I have been here on SP since 2006 (with a two year "disappearing act" somewhere in the middle-but I'm here still!) and I am having problem with my thinking since I am not losing like I did at the beginning. I am really trying to get back on track and stay there and I really need to focus on the fact that I'm still here and still trying and still encouraging others as you mentioned. Anyway, this is the first of your blogs I have watched and I very much enjoyed and appreciated it. Have a fabulous, safe weekend!!!

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ELIZABETH525 5/28/2010 1:27PM

    This reminds me alot of this quote I heard years ago:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."

I don't know how many times in the past 2 months I have had bad days and thought about NOT logging in, NOT logging foods, NOT putting down everything I ate out of guilty or shame...then I figured...everyone has bad days. I am strong enough to admit fault, to say yesterday is the past and I can make the best of today! It is those that stay around, that come up to a wall and instead of going "Oh well, guess this is the end" they say "Now how can we get around or get over this."

You are one of those people John. You see the solutions and not the problems.

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HDHAWK 5/28/2010 12:50PM

    Loved this blog John! Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy every minute of it!

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OPERATIONMILF 5/28/2010 11:20AM

    I have joined and quit sparkpeople about a million times. Maybe a little less =P

So, I asked myself why do I keep coming back? The reason is I really love to quit and I hate to fail. Temporarily quitting is a relief. I allow myself what I temporarily see as freedom. Then I realize the cage of fat and unhealthiness I have embedded myself in, and failure mode sets in.

I am here this time to not allow myself to quit. If I am doing bad, or I binge, or I don't do that workout, I will ask for support instead of running away from myself! You can't run from yourself. You can't blame life. I just love that you said hills and valleys. I need to ride this out. Thank you for reminding me about peace of mind.

I want to be special too! And for this moment I feel special because I am here. I purchased a pedometer on Amazon this morning. I have never really truly sparked. I think now it is time. :)Thanks. Enjoy your grandaughter and holiday weekend!

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HEALTHYGRAM123 5/28/2010 11:03AM

  Hi John! I am a 52 year old grandmother of 3 little girls. I am 5' 4", and weigh 195 lbs. I have Type 2 Diabetes, and am a smoker. When a friend told me about, I was feeling very overwhelmed with all that I had to do to become a healthy ME! In searching for support, I came across some of your postings. I want you to know that you have given me hope, motivation, and a sense that I may be able to do this. Starting on Tuesday, I will begin my program to a better life. I will be checking your site daily. I hope, knowing how much you are helping others ( obviously, I am not the only one ), helps you with YOUR motivation! Have a wonderful weekend with your family, and I look forward to Tuesday! Sincerely, Ruth

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GERIKRAGH 5/28/2010 10:58AM

    Right on again!

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GETFIT2LIVE 5/28/2010 10:46AM

    Thanks for sharing, John--I love to hear your voice and see your smiling face on your video blogs. I love that tenet; it's one I've written down to remind myself. Enjoy the long weekend with family (it's the best part of these holiday weekends, isn't it?) as well as the race, and keep pressing on with that C25K training!


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KATIEGLEN012 5/28/2010 9:52AM

    Have a wonderful, fun and love. How could it get any better?

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MARCYNA 5/28/2010 9:46AM

    Thanks John. To tell you the truth sometimes it was hard for me to understand your video blogs...I'm awfully out of practice and you know I'm not a I 've lost my patience with my collegue, who's been rude to me today.
But this time it was different: my listening today ' s been wonderfu l... plus I've made a committment not to lose my peace of mind for no reasons.
PS The TShirt you're wearing in the video is the EXACT color of the costume I'll be wearing for my dance show....hope you'll wear it next Friday.........I'm so sorry for the silly remark!!!!!

Comment edited on: 5/28/2010 9:48:37 AM

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BRYLIA 5/28/2010 9:34AM

    Have a great Memorial Day weekend... Enjoy good times with family especially that Granddaughter of yours and the race. Sounds like a fun filled weekend.

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    What a wonderful tenet to start the day with. I am going to promise myself this every morning--I bet it's really helpful with stress control!

Have a wonderful holiday weekend and enjoy the race!!

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EDWINA172 5/28/2010 8:29AM

    Have a wonderful weekend! Be safe.

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts


Thursday, May 27, 2010

I have learned a lot from my dad. I have been fortunate. The thing I will always remember most is this: “If you always tell the truth, you don’t have to ever remember what story to tell.”

Initially, I wanted this blog to be a bit of an apology for the minor meltdown I had yesterday over my medical snafu and going over my calorie limits. I was riding my bike earlier and the thought struck me that I have nothing to apologize for. Again, I learned a bit more about John.

Come close, Sparkies, I am not sure the whole world needs to hear this: “I found out I am not perfect.”

I found out that no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise there is still this bit of a desire, a need, call it whatever you like, to be perfect. Honestly, it was a bit shocking. I thought we had dealt with all that stuff. Apparently not. The residue of the diet mentality is not completely erased.

I think it goes deeper than that. I think you can change your body but unless you work equally hard on your mind and spirit then ultimately you end right back up where you started from. Trappergirl999 said it best the other day when she commented on one of my postings. She said”…….. Because if nothing changes, nothing changes.” Those words are ringing in my ears.

When I am perfect I am like the cool kids. I am not fat anymore I am skinny and lithe and move with grace. I have to be perfect to be equal because of the fact I am fat. It’s a flaw inside of me. That distorted thinking caused me to emotionally spiral yesterday. I am glad I did. I am glad I got a glimpse of what’s really going on inside of me.

I won’t lie. I learned a lot but I know that feeling isn’t going to vanish over night because it didn’t get there over night. It built up over the years of feeling insecure and out-of-place because of my weight. But at least I know.

“Yeah but John, you have accomplished so much in close to six months. You should be proud.” I am. I am proud and I am scared. Scared that I am going to wake up one day and all of this will unravel because I am not worthy to be happy and healthy.

So what do ya do?

You get up this morning and you ride your bike for thirty five minutes before it gets to hot out. You track your breakfast calories and keep in mind that you need to add a bit of protein to them. You slap yourself really hard when you start thinking “diet” and “failure.” You track your food and then you get ready to go do strength training followed by a one hour deep tissue massage because you really do deserve it………

You blog and you read the amazing support you get from those people who really do love you but are bound up by so much convention and appropriate dialogue and political correctness that they tell you they love you in code words and you ask yourself this question.

“Do I really want to waste all that energy on being perfect?”

No I dont

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 6/6/2010 4:53PM

    This was such an encouraging blog. Thank you.

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OBURRELL 6/2/2010 9:20AM

    I realized that today as well. I obsessed about eating perfectly and what I was going to eat each day. I kicked myself if I gave in and ate seconds...losing weight was becoming so stressful that body stopped losing weight! Once I started to let go and eat a small dessert and piece of candy every once in a while...the weight started to come off again and I feel so much better! Good job and keep doing it!

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KLONG8 6/1/2010 12:20AM

    Oh, this is the first blog of yours I've read. And boy, it's a good one. Thanks so much - perfectionism is our friend, that's for sure. And you put it all into perspective.

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RUMBARACH 5/31/2010 8:50PM

  Love reading your blogs! You speak our language--thank you!

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LINDABENEDICT 5/31/2010 8:45PM

    Great blog !!!

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LADY_KATHY 5/31/2010 5:44PM

    the truth makes life so much easier and less stressful wondering which lie you said to who. LOL

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ANNE-ELIZ 5/30/2010 11:08PM

    Yes, perfectionism is a big waste of time!

You can only be the best you possible at any given time and that's not perfect!!

You are completely lovable right now, exactly as you are.

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CAROLYNINJOY1 5/30/2010 3:00AM


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CINDYC53 5/28/2010 11:49PM

    Great Blog!! Thanks so much, John. We all share your feelings, so you spoke for all of us (again!) I have been feeling these things over my return to college, and my desire to get the A's I never worked hard enough to get when I was young. I fell short last week and all those old feelings bubbled up ("Try your best and you might just fail!") What I am learning is that trying my best is good enough, and I am only human so every day I may not be able to reach quite as far - and the important thing is moving forward one moment at a time. (Just as you described - the bike ride, the breakfast, and so forth -- that's how we make progress!) You are SO WORTH IT!! thanks again for sharing with all of us - cause we're all in it together!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SWEETNEENI 5/28/2010 9:35AM

    Another great blog! Remember: Progress not perfection!

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TEENY_BIKINI 5/28/2010 9:30AM

    Beautifully honest and truthful blog. Yes, telling the truth will get us far - all the way in the end, in fact. I have found that it is the key to everything. I have to be strong enough to face it and then battle [maybe over and over again]. Years of lying to myself is hard to overcome.

But I am here for the battle and I ain't leaving til I'm done, and probably not even then.

Battle on, bro. You are gonna make it. I just know it. XO

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BESTSUSIEYET 5/28/2010 8:53AM

    Hooray, John! I struggle with that urge to perfection, too -- I know I'm NOT perfect, but I try really hard not to let anyone ELSE know. But you know what??? They Already Know!!! So why do I still try to hide mistakes, bad choices, foolish ideas? Slowly I'm finding that people like 'imperfect me' even more than 'trying to be perfect me'. Let's Live and Learn and Share our lives with others!! Have a blessed day!

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TINK33 5/28/2010 8:00AM

    I absolutely loved this blog! I too suffer from perfectionism - about myself, about my kids, about everything. I am learning to accept myself - flaws and all and to stop "expecting" so much of those around me. I totally get what you're saying about trying to be perfect to fit in. The whole concept of "overcompensation" defines me to a t! Thank you again for your sage wisdom and for helping me to know that I'm not alone! Keep on keepin on John! I love your blogs!


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WANDAH3 5/28/2010 7:25AM

    Yep, I hear ya! Becoming healthy is not just about the's the mind and spirit too!

Have a wonderful day,

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JLUVSHIKIN 5/28/2010 3:21AM

    I really enjoyed your blog. Thank you for sharing.

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ANNSTOECKL 5/28/2010 1:53AM

    As usual, you said just what I needed to hear. Thank you for your honesty and thoughtfulness. Blessings, Ann

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HONORINGGOD 5/27/2010 11:50PM

    wow ,your a powerful writer . you struck a cord here as i'm dealing with the same issues even as you were struggling yesterday i knew just where you were ,been there done that got the shirt .lol does not fit any more ,because even though my scale don't move my clothes get baggier . i love it ,i thank GOD for my spark brothers & sisters. by the way you will be perfect some day "perfect in CHrist . just keep honoring him all the rest will come amen? emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/27/2010 11:56:25 PM

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DANCING4UJESUS 5/27/2010 11:30PM

    Thanks for your honesty and your transparency. The things you said are so true and it helped me to see some of the things I am wasting my energy on. God Bless you brother. Have a great weekend. emoticon emoticon

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2BEATIT1 5/27/2010 11:22PM

    I so enjoy your blogs.
As you commented on perfection, it made me realize once more that as long as we are in these mortal bodies, we cannot succeed at perfection.
I think of the Apostle Paul in the New Testament who talks of life as a race. When we race, we need to prepare ourselves and look to the goal.
Isn't that what we are are doing? We strive toward perfection, knowing that we can look forward to it when we meet our Lord, the perfect Son of God.
I am so glad God loves us just as we are and John He loves you just as you are.
God bless you
2BEATIT1 emoticon emoticon

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AZCUPCAKE 5/27/2010 8:19PM

    God knows we can't be perfect, and we wouldn't like being perfect if we WERE! Haha! And as for honesty -- it is a hard subject to get an "A" in if one has denied and lied to one's little old self for a very long time (the giant, neon finger is pointing at ME!). Personally, I would be happy earning myself a "B+" in Honesty! So all of this takes TIME. It is a PROCESS, as I have taken note from your wonderful blogs. I am learning that the definition of failure does NOT mean the same as DEATH. Failures are just little potholes or missteps on the road we have chosen to stick to on the way to SUCCESS! Failure is only when we give up. For good. Not just when we have a not-so-great day or two! What would life be like if every day was just vanilla-flavored with no ROCKY ROAD ever again anyway?!? emoticon

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CINDYMCD1 5/27/2010 6:42PM

    I am sorry you are not perfect! JUST KIDDING! You are doing well! Keep up the good work!:)

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KSGROTHE 5/27/2010 6:10PM

    You know, I didn't even think of your blog from yesterday as a "minor meltdown", and I certainly didn't think it was anything that might even remotely need apologizing for. But I do think I would have had trouble posting such a blog myself. I have trouble asking for help.

It's great that you learned something about yourself, and you're right that that feeling isn’t going to vanish over night. You're going in the right direction, though.

Keep up the good work! You're doing great and helping a lot of people along the way when you share your thoughts and feelings in your blog.

- Karen

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EDWINA172 5/27/2010 3:50PM

    We are not perfect. We are human. But gosh darn it, we try so hard to be perfect that we forget to live! Enjoy the process. Live. What you are doing is amazing. If you picture yourself on a long country road, see what you are going through as a little speed bump. Envision youself as a little turtle. What do you do? You keep on going. Why? Because that's the only way to get there. The road may be long and bumpy, but what other option do we have. I am so proud of you. Keep going. Keep us going.

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LOVEMYBOY64 5/27/2010 2:36PM

    The good thing about realizing you're not perfect is that you're not alone. We all try to be somebody we're not at some time or another & if we could just accept that we are not perfect & never will be, we could all relax a little & truly enjoy who we really are.
Thank you again for another awesome blog.

From one SP to another...I LOVE YA!!!
Keep it up!

Jolene emoticon emoticon

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TULIPCHICK91 5/27/2010 12:51PM

    Thanks for another insightful blog! There is so much freedom when we learn to accept our imperfections but it takes a while to unlearn the "perfectionism doctrine" that abounds in our culture. Sorry that you had a rough day! I'm glad that you learned something about yourself that will help you to have long-term success. Keep up the good work!

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LESSOFJEN 5/27/2010 12:43PM

    emoticon why do we all strive for perfection?! take a deep breath, let it out...whew enjoy where you are right now, we all think once we hit a certain weight or have certain amount of money things will automatically fall into doesn't work that way...enjoy where you are right now, you are worth it!

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JENNY888 5/27/2010 12:35PM

    I think we all find ourselves wanting to be perfect and experience the disappointment when we find we really aren't. The perfect thing to do, though, is to do just what you are doing. Learn from the experience and get right back up and try again. It is easy to get frustrated like this when one is making such great progress. The natural feeling is you want to sprint to the finish line when all you need to do is keep taking steps to get there and you will get there much healthier.

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GERIKRAGH 5/27/2010 12:20PM

    Another good blog!

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THAMLEY 5/27/2010 12:13PM

    Hi John, I haven't been around in a few months--lot's of family and job distractions. I rededicated myself back to SP a few days ago and am bound and determined to get this job done once and for all. It is really enlightening and encouraging to see how far you've come. Yeah, I've constantly struggled with the same obstacles. We are not perfect, but we are GREAT! Learning to love ourselves promotes the excellence we deserve. Thanks for sharing your deepest emotions, look forward to seeing you around the site. One day at a time! Take care, Sparkling T.

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GETFIT2LIVE 5/27/2010 11:29AM

    We NEED days like that, John, in order to face the things inside that got us to where we are (or were). You are right, you have nothing to apologize for--and you are not perfect, you are human. Hurray!

I don't know about you, but I know that I didn't put on this wall of weight overnight, I built it up, ounce by ounce, pound by pound, over the years of feeling insecure, unsafe, as a way to hide the real 'me' I didn't think anyone would accept if they found out who I really was. It is *relatively* easy to take the weight off (less calories, more movement usually equals weight loss); it is much harder to get rid of the emotional baggage that caused me to put it on, and unless I do that, I will eventually find myself right back behind the wall again.

Thanks for your honesty and openness. You share your struggles with us all in a way that helps us face our own battles a little more bravely and keep getting on the bike or the trail again one more day.


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ALLISON145 5/27/2010 10:45AM

I have to admit I'm still in the phase of my journey where I'm more likely to beat myself up and write the day off if a meal doesn't go well than to pick up, adjust, and move forward. I'm slowly starting to really believe that it IS a phase, and that this too shall pass. I've been struggling this week to get back into my calorie range and get back on the exercise wagon, and while I haven't been perfect I am definitely making progress. I just have to keep telling myself that that's good enough. (Right as I typed that the little voice in my head said, "No it isn't." /sigh..)

Let's keep on fighting the good fight - we can do this together!


Comment edited on: 5/27/2010 10:46:09 AM

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DOCYJK 5/27/2010 10:27AM

    I think we all share your same feelings - wanting or needing to be perfect and beating ourselves up when we feel we are not. That may be at the base of why we all struggle with our body image and as an ancillary, our weight. Some days we just need to remember to put one foot in front of the other, do the little things, and shut off the noisy negative voice. Thanks for the great reminder!!! Hugs - Yvonne

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CMBELISLE 5/27/2010 10:23AM

    Nobody's perfect - it's something I've heard my whole life and it really is true.

I just saw your blog about your BP. Speaking from the hubby's experiences, the sudden drop in the BP can make you a little light-headed in the morning and I like that your doctor lowered your dosages - that's actually one thing I would have suggested - talking to the doc about it.

As for not getting enough food, that's possible too - you can adjust your weekly cardio on the same page where you adjust your current weight after you've lost 10 pounds. If you've increased your cardio enough, you really might not be getting enough to eat. Also, protein with breakfast is a REALLY good idea. It doesn't take much, but it does help - I usually have one serving of protein (like the morningstar veggie links) and a glass of milk, which gives me somewhere between 17 and 19 grams of protein. It really makes a difference in how hungry I get by snack time.

Keep up the great work and don't worry about your meltdown - we all have them from time to time.

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JUDIL62 5/27/2010 9:43AM


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ROCKINFOX 5/27/2010 9:13AM

    Great blog John!! I do sometimes wonder why I have to feel like I need to be perfect, even though I know we are not perfect. We just have to keep at it and never give up.

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CAHUNO2 5/27/2010 9:10AM

    Glad I found your blog today John. I too had a very bad day yesterday. I'm not sure why - still working on it but you have given me lots to think about and I am now going to go exercise. emoticon I think I will be thinking over what you said for a long time! emoticon

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SAPPHIRE983 5/27/2010 9:06AM

    You dug very deep about the issues that many people face (including me) during their stages of dieting and exercising. Thank you for bringing up this very interesting and important point.

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WISEONE68 5/27/2010 9:00AM

    You know, we can never lose when we learn a lesson...

I hated losing a game or contest when I was little! I was what they called a "sore loser." emoticon I was spoiled, yes. But, what I most wanted was the accolades, the cheers, and the "perfection."

Well, that gets us pretty much SICK. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually...SICK!! We cannot be perfect (Christians know that we strive for the perfection we see in Christ--but, without His perfect sacrifice, WE cannot be perfect!). What I learned from a coach was how I started this comment...we never lose if we learn the lesson.

There is a lesson in every "loss"--practice harder next time, study harder, get the right equipment, let yourself have fun...So many lessons to be learned. I was told, if you don't learn the lesson, then you are BOUND to revisit the same "loss."

Well, I learned MANY lessons from losing--and then I learned many lessons WHILE I was losing (weight, that is). We are not perfect--we should not expect perfection--and, I really don't like people who think they are perfect anyway emoticon!!

Lesson learned...move on down the road to the next challenge, contest, race, etc. YOU are better for the lesson learned and remember--we don't ALWAYS have to win...for there to be a winner, there is a loser (but, sometimes, the loser gains more wisdom, faith, endurance, and fortitude!!).

Be well, happy and safe, Friend!! (NOTE: your blogs are GREAT!!)


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    I can be a perfectionist and have to constantly remind myself that I DON'T have to be and that the added pressure only gets me back to where I DON'T want to be! emoticon on acknowledging where you're at and letting go of the perfectionism that wants to be a cling-on!

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TOOKES519 5/27/2010 8:55AM


The one thing that I keep trying to tell myself is that if I were perfect I wouldn't of found all of my Spark friends. Not one of us are perfect, if we were we would all lead pretty boring lives.

The good thing John about your breakdown is that you got right back up again and you should be absolutely proud of yourself!!!! It's not easy to always pick yourself up, but you did and very quickly I might add.

Have a wonderful day,

Kristi emoticon

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SANDYK4BAMA 5/27/2010 8:52AM

    Oh yeah, and BTW, I LOVE you! You and your philosophizing make many days bearable for me!

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SANDYK4BAMA 5/27/2010 8:51AM

    Thanks 4 that John. I struggling with the same issue big time today!

HEre's my mantra for the day from Sugarland:

Sugarland's Stand Back Up: Lyrics as follows. Boy did I need this today!

"Stand Back Up"

Go ahead and take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
I'm laid out on the floor, but I've been here before,
I may stumble, yeah I might fall,
I'm only human but aren't we all?
I might lose my way, but hear me when I say,

I will stand back up,
You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

I've been beaten up and bruised,
I've been kicked right off my shoes,
Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,
When the darkness tries to get me,
There's a light that just won't let me,
It might take my pride, and my tears may fill my eyes,
But I'll stand back up,

I've weathered all these storms,
But I just turn them into wind, so I can fly,
What don't kill you makes you stronger,
When I take my last breath,
That's when I'll just give up,

So, go ahead and take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
You might win this round but you can't keep me down,

'Cause I'll stand back up,
And you'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up.

{Thank you Sugarland. }

We will just STAND BACK UP!!!

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 5/27/2010 8:46AM

    Way to go John! Walking thru this with you helps me immensely. thank you for sharing your progress, trial and errors with all of us. It's fun to watch you figure it out and teach us all something along the way.


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JAE_HENNINGTON 5/27/2010 8:45AM

  great blog...i still am unraveling all these needs to be seen as being perfect. It is a difficult job taking off all these layers of misconception my mother taught me. It dawned on me the other day. SHE LIED TO ME. She told herself it was to protect me from the pain of the world. It was not. It was to protect herself. I am learning that it is ok to be imperfect. That no one is expecting anything more. I can be closer to people by showing my true self than showing them someone who is so perfect that can't relate to. You are perfect John. Perfectly imperfect....and you have so many friends because of it

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JUST_TRI_IT 5/27/2010 8:43AM

    I wonder if trying to be perfect is really a "flaw"? You got me thinking about why we even think this is negative and then beat ourselves up for trying to improve on today's version of ourselves.

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BAM0827 5/27/2010 8:42AM

    When I first started this journey, I was very diligent about calories. About 5 months into it I basically forced myself to go over my calorie limit (by a lot, not just by 100) just to release some of that control. I needed to know that going over one day isn't the end all and be all of a healthy life. It was very hard to do but I did it. In the end it was freeing.

Days like I had and you had yesterday are just as important as the "perfect" days. They teach us a lot... if nothing else, that we're human and that's OK. (I always say, I haven't seen anyone walk on water yet - therefore, we're not perfect)

Have a great Thursday!

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DOLLBABE56 5/27/2010 8:36AM

    Dear, dear John. I still have many days where I deal with diet mentality, but I am getting better with it. It is a fight that we can all win. We have to realize that we are human. We are not perfect. Now if we can keep that close to us I know we will be alright and successful.

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