JOHNTJ1   66,263
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
JOHNTJ1's Recent Blog Entries

Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

How We Define Ourselves

Thursday, May 06, 2010


2

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TENDERLOVE1 5/12/2010 12:33PM

    Thank you John!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HDHAWK 5/10/2010 8:35PM

    I'm so glad I stumbled across your page today John. Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAVEINSEOUL 5/9/2010 6:23AM

    Love your video blog - pretty awesome!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRAMHIFF 5/8/2010 8:27AM

    HOW BEAUTIFULY SAID,WHAT AN INSPERATION YOU ARE I REALLY NEEDED THAT TODAY. emoticon. THANK YOU

Comment edited on: 5/8/2010 8:27:53 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNE-ELIZ 5/8/2010 2:30AM

    Good Job!

Yours is the first video blog that I've watched the whole way through, without stopping.

Good distinction between ability and choice.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRISTIEE1 5/8/2010 12:30AM

    great video blog john!!! thanks i needed this to lift my day and yes WE CAN DO IT!!!!i sent your blog to my sister also a sparker im sure she will enjoy it toooo. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AZCUPCAKE 5/7/2010 7:25PM

    You really know how to turn a person's attitude around! How blessed I feel to have been tuned in to The Power of John! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAWRALOO 5/7/2010 6:34PM

    YOU are an inspiration!
And an excellent speaker! I'm currently working on becoming a better public speaker. I've always been horrible at it because I haven't had the self confidence to do so. I was always afraid of what everyone else was thinking.
I'm doing much better at not caring what people think.

I grinned when you said 'What about you? How do you define yourself?'
Because how I define myself today makes me happy. A year ago, I didn't want to define myself. I was happy being undefined, because if I defined myself, I'd have to admit the truth to the most important person. Me.
I like the truth now. I like who I've become. I like how I define myself

Thank you for posting this :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZRAMOMMA 5/7/2010 5:25PM

    You are a great speaker and i notice that you write like you speak. I think that is a great quality. Thanks for your never ending wisdom. Keep it up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GETFIT2LIVE 5/7/2010 9:44AM

    John, thank you for once again saying what I really needed to hear today. We do need to be our own heroes and celebrate the successes and even failures along the way. We often learn more from the failures and struggles than we do the successes. Well said!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CINDYMCD1 5/7/2010 9:22AM

    Wow! Good thing you were at a boring meeting yesterday! Nice blog! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
JURI62 5/7/2010 6:06AM

    Well said! Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEEBEE73 5/7/2010 1:59AM

    Thank you John, I was just at the point of giving up. I wrote a very negative blog this morning. (I'm not able to express myself as nicely as you). I say many times "AH, I can't do that". I have very low self-esteem. Why, I don't know. I think I just need to tell myself that I'm a good person, and I can do what I set my mind to. I guess we need to talk to ourselves alot. Anyway, thanks, your words were very encouraging and up building. And this morning I really really needed that.

Betty

Report Inappropriate Comment
HAWAIILINDA 5/6/2010 10:50PM

    John, glad your blogs and you are part of my amazing journey. I'm learning a lot of good things from you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEDYBEAR2838 5/6/2010 9:58PM

    WOW John,what a great blog. I sure needed that today. I'm on the I Can't or I mean I won't say that now. It is MY CHOICE, you are so right.

So I Choose to succeed. Boy, It was a day of UNWISE choices. SO today is done, I'm on my way on this journey with you again.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINAFITE 5/6/2010 3:38PM

    Beautifully motivational blog! Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GREYGOSSAMER 5/6/2010 3:22PM

    Um, how do you do post a video blog? I can NEVER DO THAT! You must be MUCH BETTER AT THAT than I ever will be.... :)

But seriously,... can you tell me how? I wanna try and do one!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRISH2229 5/6/2010 2:13PM

    I read this quote recently and liked it so much I had to write it down. "your life flows in the directions of your most dominant thoughts." Thought you might it too!
Great blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWLIFE4ME09 5/6/2010 10:55AM

    Thank you John, and thanks for being such a great Motivator. You are so right and I choose to lose weight and be happier about myself.

We can do this

Have a wonderful Day

Big Hugs
Elizabeth emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDYK4BAMA 5/6/2010 10:41AM

    Thank you, John, for your input! You are SO inspiring! I'm so glad I found you on here, because when I feel down and don't "choose to" exercise, I read things you've written and said, and I'm just ready to go after that! You are a great motivator! You make me proud to be a member of SparkPeople! I'm sending you hugs today! Hope your Thursday is wonderful!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MUSTANG_SALLY2 5/6/2010 10:25AM

    Thanks for the reminder!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAE_HENNINGTON 5/6/2010 10:18AM

  Thanks John, your blogs are always so timely. I wrestle with this very issue and have been working through them. I find myself at times thinking I can't do something. Because of a lifetime of negative upbringing it has been easy to fall into a pattern of thinking I can't instead of I am choosing not to. Now I have to constantly have to ask myself what choice do I want to make. A friend once told me the choice you make will be the decision that will become the easiest thing to do the next time. Once again your blog is right on the money

Report Inappropriate Comment
STORMTMB 5/6/2010 10:09AM

    Another good one, John!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTINT011 5/6/2010 9:37AM

  thanks for the blog.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTINT011 5/6/2010 9:35AM

  Thanks for the blog. Thanks for the insight. ABout how a year ago you were just sitting around watching T.V. and now you and wife are going to the gym. Now making choices about healthy eating. I did enjoy reading this blog. I felt better about getting more active and watching what I eat. Got to stay motivated and it helps to watch the blogs. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMABOF7 5/6/2010 9:13AM

    I can't think you enough! I look forward to your blogs everyday now. You are very gifted !!!
I have been trying to move from walking to jogging. I am making some progress, but after your blog today I am wondering if it it a physical or mental block that is stopping me. As a child I was always called clumbsy and "slow as christmas" I hated running because of that. Today I am going to define myself as a jogger! I am headed out in a few mins to beat my last time...

Thanks John!!! I also loved the blog yesterday about excuses. You are really speaking to my heart
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKLERFRIEND 5/6/2010 9:01AM

    Thanks for sharing in this format and for the encouragement you passed to all of your listeners! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BAM0827 5/6/2010 8:57AM

    I totally agree with you. I hear "can't" often and I just want to say you can you just won't.

I hope this blog is voted most popular just so others can share in your wisdom on this topic! Thanks for the live discussion - it was a great medium for the topic!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FREDIA2 5/6/2010 8:30AM

    THe thoughts were just what I needed.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROSE5328 5/6/2010 8:29AM

    Thank you John! I have stayed on plan all week and I stepped on the scale this morning and was up a pound. Negative thoughts took over, "I'm never going to be able to lose this weight." "I'm a big fat blob." "I'll always be fat, why do I even try." Well, the list is endless.

I really needed to hear this this morning. I need to concentrate on my successes and redefine myself.

Thank you!

Rose

Report Inappropriate Comment
FANAMAMA 5/6/2010 8:26AM

    Thanks John! An awesome way to start my day. I CAN ... I can run that 5K. I just mapped it out in my neighborhood.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELIZABETH525 5/6/2010 8:25AM

    Wow I really enjoyed this! It is so very true that people do not do things because they are scared of failign before they even try. The way I see it...they are right...they will never fail if they never try...but they will never succeed either. People do not take chances in life because they choose not to. People KNOW that eating an entire pizza , an entire bag of chips is unhealthy but they make that choice. What defines me: being a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter. Being someone who walks at the park. Being someone who loves to write and loves to inspire people. Being someone who will not lose focus of my goals! Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MICKEYMAX 5/6/2010 8:23AM

    I love your positive attitude, and willingness to share it!

Thanks and happy Thursday to you, too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOLLBABE56 5/6/2010 8:20AM

    You know, John, just seeing and listening to you is a huge motivation. As I watched and listened, I was thinking about everything you said. I realize just how negative I have been. The trick is turning that around. I am trying to be positive. It is not always possible, but I am getting better at it.

Have a happy, positive day!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Cheating ME

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Terry and I had been talking for close to an hour. He had told me fifteen times how his lack of success in life stemmed from a verbally abusive father. Fifteen times, I know because I was keeping track. I’m not sure whether it was out of frustration or genius but I put my hand out in a motion to stop him.

“When’s the last time your dad ragged on you?” I asked.

Terry moved some papers around on his desk, looked at me and in one of those sotto voices we all get from time to time replied “Well, he’s been dead for over twenty years, so I guess twenty years.”

“And you have been using that as a reason to not be successful?”

He looked at me a minute, sorta with that hurt puppy dog look.

“I make excuse too, ya know, probably more than you. Lemme tell you a story.” I began.

Monday morning was my last Ab-Blast class for two weeks. I could tell the instructor was frustrated with us because she kept repeating the same instruction to us over and over again:

“People, keep your heinies down please!!!”

Finally she told us to stop, sit on our mats and look at her.

“If you don’t do it right people, you are only cheating yourself!”

It was like the heavens opened for me. (I still couldn’t keep my rear end down completely, but I am working on that.) I can use anything I want to motivate me and help me reach my success and I can use anything I want to prevent me from reaching my success. I am only cheating myself.

How many of you write me and tell me that skinny or fat you will still be my friend? Joan will still love me. I have built in excuses if I choose to take them.

I have built in reasons to be successful also. I have a good food plan, a solid exercise program and a clear set of goals and objectives. If I choose to “fudge” on them, well I am only cheating myself. It’s easy for me to blame everything from the alignment of the planets to the New York Yankees for my failure. In the end it’s only me that determines my success.

Yes, we have obstacles and there are mean and cruel people in our path who for whatever reason do their best to stop our forward progress.
I keep a button in my brief case. I have carried it for close to twenty years. It’s one of those “not buttons” You know the button with the little circle and the line through. The writing beneath is says “Them.”

You know “Them” they are the people we blame for our failures. Their cousins are “those people.”

The button was given to me by a friend I met in the late eighties. She carried a purse full of them with her. She said she refused to give anything or anyone power over her. She gave me the button and then told me the story that went with it.
She was walking home from work one evening. It was a nice night, sorta like the ones we have this time of year. She lived in a suburb of Washington DC. Three blocks from home she was attacked, repeatedly by a group of men. She was raped repeatedly and left clothes torn and in a coma, in the gutter. A man found her six hours later when he got his morning paper. She was told it was a miracle she survived the attack.

She suffered organic brain damage because of the trauma to her head. That was minor compared to the emotional horror she endured. She didn’t work for two years. She told me when I met her she was paralyzed, both physically and emotionally. Until this day, she walks with a slight limp in her gait and has problems putting a complete thought together at times.

One day she was in a small shop and saw the button and she told me it was like an angel touched her on the shoulder. She purchased all the buttons the store had, went home and decided it was time to start living again. She went back to college, not just any college, Georgetown mind you, and graduated with honors. When I met her she was working for the US Government in their state department. Since then she has started a successful business of her own.

I keep that button with me. Maybe I don’t look at it enough, but yesterday morning after I left Terry I put it on my lapel to remind me, that the only person who controls what happens to me is me.

I can make all the excuses I want to but when I do then “They” win. “They” are right. Abusive parents, spouses, siblings or friends. The moment I let “them” gain control of how I live and how I react, then Brandy, my most amazing fitness instructor is right.

I am only cheating myself.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAMMYFOX3 5/9/2010 12:13PM

    Thank you for sharing this!!!! Boy i need to remember this i am cheating my self by letting the people around me control me!!! I am in control of my self and need to practice it more!!! Man what a moving story to get me thinking!!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARENB137 5/8/2010 12:59PM

    This is an excellent illustration of the power of the human spirit to overcome - if we only claim it. Kind of reminds me a little of the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I love it. God bless this woman. And thank you for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTINT011 5/8/2010 9:46AM

  thanks for the blog post. Yes, the title got to me. Only cheating myself. Will get a button for them and other people too. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEISENUF 5/8/2010 1:50AM

    Words that can change a mindset...FANTASTIC! The blame game never helps anyone suceed.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAWRALOO 5/7/2010 6:26PM

    John you continue to astound and amaze me.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm going to create a mental button.


Report Inappropriate Comment
JCDROLSHAGEN 5/7/2010 5:42PM

    If you live in the NYC metro area, you could blame the Yankees!! LOL. Good blog about responsibility for your own actions. Can't blame my daughter for the pizza I ate! (but I can logged it and eat some healthy with like a salad and fruit to complete the meal) Then I can go the gym and do some healthy exercise to work it off! Nice reflection today. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JCDROLSHAGEN 5/7/2010 5:42PM

    If you live in the NYC metro area, you could blame the Yankees!! LOL. Good blog about responsibility for your own actions. Can't blame my daughter for the pizza I ate! (but I can logged it and eat some healthy with like a salad and fruit to complete the meal) Then I can go the gym and do some healthy exercise to work it off! Nice reflection today. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNABELLA007 5/7/2010 5:25PM

    This got me thinking a lot. Thank you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
UNSTOPPABLE_ 5/7/2010 5:19PM

    Wonderful blog! I've lived that way for a long time, sometimes I still react that way. SP has been a great place for me because I learned that I AM in control of my life...No one else, Just me!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PSSN4FITNESS 5/7/2010 3:09PM

    This is truly a beautiful story encompassing so many of life's important lessons. Thank you so much for sharing. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENREDDIG 5/7/2010 2:34PM

    This is beautiful. Thank you so much.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNQWEEN21 5/7/2010 2:27PM

    I clicked the "like" button only because there wasn't a "love" button. Awesome blog. Thank you for reminding me that no one is in control of me except me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARK-A-LICIOUS 5/7/2010 12:59PM

    Awesome blog! I have to remember that everytime I decide to go have a cookie instead of something "nutritious" that I too am ONLY cheating myself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUCKYONE60 5/7/2010 11:10AM

    Whoa. So right on. Thanks for sharing this inspirational post.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STACYLEIGH09 5/7/2010 9:51AM

    Great blog! Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTFOXXY 5/7/2010 9:21AM

    Very nice and very profound.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KLOSH1 5/7/2010 12:30AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUSHON 5/6/2010 11:50PM

    Thanks for a great reminder. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAWRTIAN 5/6/2010 11:06PM

    Thank you for the inspiration. I'm only just starting this and I feel so disorganized but I know the tools are here and all I need to do is learn and keep with it and things will get better!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNE-ELIZ 5/6/2010 9:44PM

    Great insight. We are and can be only responsible for our own actions and not of anyone else. We can't necessarily stop people (or life) from doing bad and even horrible things, but we do have control of how we respond to what happens to us.

Thanks for the reminder.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISTYK08 5/6/2010 9:08PM

    Amazing. Right on. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYOWNHERO 5/6/2010 8:17PM

    So inspiring and so true!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIZZYMITCH 5/6/2010 7:04PM

    This is so me. Not everyday. Not all the time. But I get into deep "blaming them" cycles, and they are so hard to break out of. It gets so hard to remember that these people have no tangible effect on you, and can they can't actually stop you from doing what you want.

Report Inappropriate Comment
IRENE100 5/6/2010 6:30PM

  What a beautiful post!! You are so right too. I'm a psychiatric nurse and I see way too many folks playing the blame game and the only ones that they are hurting is themselves. Very profound. As I tell my clients the minute you assume responsibility for yourself is the minute you take control of your life and can make change for the better. Your change. Thank you for your inspirational message. I enjoyed it.

Irene

Report Inappropriate Comment
TUTUNAN 5/6/2010 6:09PM

    You hit the nail on the head with this. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADVENTUREGIRL04 5/6/2010 5:00PM

    You're blog was awesome!! Keep them coming!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNORRIS40 5/6/2010 4:04PM

    Thank you for this truly inspiring blog entry. It really is all about seeing the door closed or seeing the window opened.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NIKERUNNER 5/6/2010 3:27PM

    Wow! What a great story, and great motivation! Thanks for that...it's been a little bit of a hard day for me, but I just needed a little push to get past it. Thanks for that! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRANDI.FEY 5/6/2010 3:22PM

    Such motivational stories. And humbling. Thank you for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMGOODIE 5/6/2010 3:21PM

    Thank You! You really have me thinking of what is holding me back from changing my life. You are right is is Me!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TABATHAMAX1 5/6/2010 3:03PM

    Thank you for that empowering post. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PRAYINGSUZIE 5/6/2010 2:56PM

    I really needed to read this today! Thank you

Suzie

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINDROP2000 5/6/2010 2:34PM

    Excellent blog....THANKS!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHEILAKHS1 5/6/2010 2:28PM

    this was a great blog. too many times i blame everything for why i am not succeeding i need to remember i am the only one who can do it...no one can do it for me...Thank You again i am going to add you too my friends i really need a few positive people to keep me accountable

Report Inappropriate Comment
STARRYK 5/6/2010 2:27PM

    Thank you! I think I needed to read this to hear it said - you are only cheating yourself...

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIFFANYBAGNAS 5/6/2010 2:19PM

    Oh my god!!! That was exactly what I needed to read today. You could never imagine how much you have helped me. I have been in such a rut and blaming everything from my family, to PMS on why I wasn't doing well. I am ready to take control. Thank you so much for your inspiration

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCYNA 5/6/2010 2:01PM

    WoW, again you give me food for thought.
Amazing, John.
You were created to make us think. And change for the better.
I just needed this!!!!
Hugs emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEEANNE1980 5/6/2010 1:49PM

    I really, really, really needed this, today. I guess God was listening after all. Thank You! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STARGIRL66 5/6/2010 1:40PM

    Thanks for sharing a great blog, I needed it today! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
VICUNJA 5/6/2010 1:34PM

    How very true - and how very funny that infidelity to the self was the very topic I just blogged about! Just as you describe so very well, 482 days and 110lbs down the line, I can truly say the greatest transformation is the one, which has taken place within.

Thanks for sharing. Love the button.

emoticon

- Joan

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOSINGERIN 5/6/2010 1:32PM

  Thanks for sharing. It is a great reminder that we are only in control of own actions. Emotions are one thing -- what we do about them is quite another.

I will keep the image of your button with me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
REACHNDREAM 5/6/2010 1:27PM

    WOW!!!! I really needed to read that today. emoticon

Thanks for sharpening my focus and reminding me how important I am no matter what.

What a GREAT story! emoticon

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERRIERUNS 5/6/2010 12:45PM

    very nice. You are right, we have to reach a moment where we accept and own our own 'stuff' and no longer blame the things that go on in our lifes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SMPO79 5/6/2010 12:43PM

    emoticon
This was really inspirational...thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SMOOCHIEFACE 5/6/2010 12:26PM

    Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYREALANA 5/6/2010 11:57AM

    You're so right. I often have to remind myself that the only person who loses if I cheat on my diet, or on my workout is me.

There's no prize for being "The Biggest Lier"

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 5/6/2010 11:43AM

    Great blog. My mantra is we choose to be happy or we choose to be miserable. As a nurse I saw lots of people coping with life threatening illnesses who were happy and people with seemingly insignificant problems who weren't. Life is to short to waste it being miserable. I tell people to stop blaming and start living.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUNORZAHRA 5/6/2010 11:39AM

    Great! Thanks for sharing that ... it's a keeper!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SKINNYMINNIE25 5/6/2010 11:21AM

    The victim's mantra:
Look what you did to me.
Look what you didn't do for me.
It's not my fault.

We all have choices. Thanks for sharing yours.

Skinny
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIAMONDST 5/6/2010 10:54AM

    Don't cheat on yourself!!!! Doesn't get ya anywhere!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Gone With The Wind

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

I have a full day in the car, with three or four stops over the next ten hours. I'll be back later this evening.

I hope everyone has a great day and thank you so much for all your love, friendship and support.

You are a great bunch of people



emoticon

Love

John

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 5/6/2010 11:34AM

    Car days. Ugh. I hope you eat on plan.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDYK4BAMA 5/5/2010 3:04AM

    Hope you had a great day (even in the car). Remember to stretch really well when you get home. That will help those sore muscles from sitting so long!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROTTLADY 5/4/2010 7:52PM

    Take frequent breaks while on your travel to prevent back issues and drink your fluids as you travel through the day. Stick to your menu for the day and stay focused. emoticon. Have a good day.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LILYBELLE8 5/4/2010 3:52PM

    Hii - from your title "Gone With the Wind" I thought you might live in Idaho - where our winds have been up to 75 mph the last few days - hurricane speed, in the valleys of the Rocky Mountains? Makes no sense - but beyond that, have a good trip.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMRBUDDY 5/4/2010 12:15PM

    Have a great day and will be looking forward to your blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMJUSTDUCKIE 5/4/2010 11:42AM

    Have a wonderful day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TXNANA_4 5/4/2010 11:11AM

    Have a great day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BBGOOGIN 5/4/2010 10:55AM

    Ha ha, I love your title!! Have a great day!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRISH2229 5/4/2010 10:40AM

    Drink lots of water to stay hydrated! Be blessed!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRIPLE_EMME 5/4/2010 10:31AM

    Have a happy and healthy day!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
YOYONOMORE1 5/4/2010 10:18AM

    John with all the traveling you do I still say "On The Road Again" should be your theme song, lol. Have a blessed day and safe traveling.

Hugs,
Shirl

Report Inappropriate Comment
STORMTMB 5/4/2010 10:01AM

    Enjoy the wind blowing through your hair, Dude! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOLLBABE56 5/4/2010 9:50AM

    Have a good day and be safe.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKENISTA 5/4/2010 9:45AM

    I hope you have a happy and productive day. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMYTATH 5/4/2010 9:38AM

    Have a great day, drive safe and "make great decisions" emoticon


emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINKERBELL200 5/4/2010 9:23AM

    Have a wonderful day! Be blessed in your business!

Report Inappropriate Comment
STARLIGHT615 5/4/2010 9:13AM

    Have a safe drive!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINENA1 5/4/2010 8:47AM

    Have a safe drive & a wonderful day! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1888MICHELLE 5/4/2010 8:47AM

    Stop and stretch as often as you can.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRISSYSWIM16 5/4/2010 8:44AM

    drive safe!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMABILE75 5/4/2010 8:37AM

    emoticon Have a WONDERFUL day!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINIBIKKE 5/4/2010 8:37AM

    Drive safely!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Finding Imperfection and Then Smiling

Monday, May 03, 2010

If you have followed the adventures of this over weight middle aged traveler, you will know that for the last two days I had checked into the Anxiety Hotel, penthouse suite, for what apprised to be an extended stay. If you haven’t read Saturday and Sundays blogs I’ll wait here while you do.

Good you’re back!!!

Without the guidance and wisdom my wife provided me I might still be stuck in my gloom. As we were getting ready to go to the gym yesterday afternoon I was struck with another feeling. It was one of relief. I’d like to tell you that the relief came from understanding where I had stumbled or failed. I’d like to tell you it came from reinforcing my plan so that I could minimize future weight gains. That’s what I’d like to tell you.

As I stuffed my back pack I was hit with this wonderful sense of relief that I no longer had to be perfect. See, I have had fourteen consecutive weight losses for sixty pounds before yesterday. That works out to around three pounds per week. Every time I would lose some weight I wouldn’t do the happy dance, there was part of me that went “Oh crap. Now I have to do it again next week.”

As an overweight person I know that I spend a lot of time compensating. I do not fit in to the men’s equivalent of a size zero but somewhere deep in my psyche I think I should. But I don’t and then things get all crazy. That means, my evil twin, also known as my ego, says we have to be a lot better than everyone else just to be equal with everyone else. In other words we have to be perfect.

Until yesterday morning I was like a dog chasing his tail. I created this really vicious cycle that with each weeks weigh in, the stakes got higher and higher and I found it harder and harder to be perfect.

I wasn’t eating enough and what I was eating fulfilled an immediate need but didn’t give me what I needed to sustain myself and to lose some of this weight. I threw reason and rational thinking out the window. I have seen this coming for a couple of weeks now. It’s like going to Vegas with the mortgage money.

“One donut won’t hurt!!! “

“Ah it didn’t!!! Cool I’ll have another this week.” (BTW you don’t need to write it down.)

Two steps forward for every one step back. That’s what we are taught here isn’t it?

I do not have to be perfect. I just have to be John and you sitting there reading this have to be you. When we first joined Spark People we were asked to sign a little pledge card. Mine still hangs on the fridge. I looked at it before I wrote this blog and I am quite sure that no where does it say we have to be perfect from now until the end of time. It says “I promise to make healthy and positive choices so that I can have live a healthy life style and reach my goals.” Pretty straight forward and simple. No mention of perfection.

The real beauty of what happened to me this weekend exists on a lot of different levels and as you read this you may find a few more that apply to you.
First I am blessed to have the guidance, support and wisdom of my family, especially my wife. I have a daughter in law in culinary school who is a “healthy chef” and truly is a size zero. She gives me a lot of recipes for good tasting food without paying that “gourmet calorie price.” The rest of my kids encourage me and some of them have amped up their exercise.

I have you guys. I quit reading all the supportive comments on my blogs and my Spark page around ten last night because my eyes were watering. Wow. You wanna talk about an out pouring of love!!! I was over whelmed by it.

Here is my point: Every one of us has people, places and things in our lives that help us make a difference and keep us on the path most days. You and I have Spark in common, but I’ll bet if we sat down and had a cup of coffee we’d find out we had a lot more in common than that.

Lean on each other, support each other and to those of you who are feeling the strain and maybe leaving this experience I tell you this:

“You do not have to be perfect; you just have to be you. The last time I looked we take all comers here, no matter how silly they get some times.”

Just ask me, I know

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUNNYCATS 6/7/2010 8:07AM

    Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 5/6/2010 11:31AM

    Perfection can be very dull. Some of the coolest things come from aberration like albino squirrels.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JURI62 5/5/2010 11:01PM

    John, thanks for the heartfelt blog. You are an inspiration. I'm struggling with the last 10 lbs to my goal weight and some days it feels like it might as well be 100.
Reading your blogs gives me encouragement, so thank you.
Judy

Report Inappropriate Comment
4DOGNIGHT 5/5/2010 8:51AM

    Thank you for being you, my new best friend and blogger! I love your postive attitude, even in the face of adversity! You might want to read my blog of today.

Report Inappropriate Comment
1DERLAND_BOUND 5/4/2010 4:24PM

    Wow, you are an inspiration. Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KBUCKMASH 5/4/2010 4:14PM

    John,
Love how you tell it like it is. For some of us who still have a certain about of fear factor in us to make the full commitment to all the tools Spark has to offer because ....(whatever excuse a person has) you have shown we need to get rid of that fear and take a leap of faith. For if we do not take a step, then another, another, another and still another we are standing still. Will we stumble back? More then likely. Will it hurt us? Maybe our pride. Can we recover? From your example - yes we can.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HLPRATT 5/4/2010 1:37PM

    I don't think it's that unusual to gain or not to lose at times. It's hard to keep up the momentum or to be perfect all the time. The important thing is not to give up completely and just to keep at it

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINKERBELL200 5/4/2010 9:31AM

    You got it John, you don't have to be perfect, just you, which is a pretty awesome guy! emoticon
Lynne

Report Inappropriate Comment
STARLIGHT615 5/4/2010 9:21AM

    I just love reading your blogs!! They make me feel so much better and but all my little set back into perseptive (Sp?) thank you!! emoticon Your writings are truely an inspiration and a blessing!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LESA2.0 5/4/2010 8:13AM

    Thanks again for your honesty and insight. Reading your blogs always puts me back in the right frame of mind. I too suffer from "perfectioninsm" and am trying to change this harmful attitude. You are helping me along my path, my friend.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOLLBABE56 5/4/2010 7:42AM

    I would like to say that I have been as consistent "loser" as you, but I can't. You are doing great. I'm glad you realize that.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATIEGLEN012 5/4/2010 5:29AM

    It is positively amazing that you describing your imperfections allows me to feel ok with mine. It is a humbling experience. I remain grateful that you share.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KLEONIKI 5/4/2010 3:39AM

    You certainly belong to the "winning team",dear friend!
Grateful for all the burdens that teach us how to fight but also GRATEFUL for all this assistance in abundance..!
Take care!
Kleoniki

Report Inappropriate Comment
KLEONIKI 5/4/2010 3:39AM

    You certainly belong to the "winning team",dear friend!
Grateful for all the burdens that teach us how to fight but also GRATEFUL for all this assistance in abundance..!
Take care!
Kleoniki

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYRNACARRIER 5/4/2010 1:22AM

    Boy, I have read a lot of your blogs and they are making me cry.
You are so open and vulnerable with us.
Thanks for being so real. God has made you a very special person. Keep on taking care of yourself because we need you in the world. I am going to subscribe to your blog. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MITCHPOOH 5/3/2010 11:15PM

    Perfection.. I try so hard to be perfect and I'm not.. Thank you so much for what you wrote.. I need to learn to just be me.. and nothing else matters...Acceptance from others has been hard for me and I think that is why I strive for that perfection that doesn't exist

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKENISTA 5/3/2010 10:24PM

    Everything we go through has a lesson behind it. However, I don't see you taking a moment to stand back and give yourself credit for a remarkable weight loss so far.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HAWAIILINDA 5/3/2010 10:11PM

    Another good blog, thanks!
Linda

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEDYBEAR2838 5/3/2010 9:58PM

    WOW, I been there done that and it is a bit of a letdown at first, but then you realize you are not perfect and don't have to have others think you are perfect. What a relief is right!~

You are a total inspiration to all of us, gain or loss, thick or thin.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROTTLADY 5/3/2010 9:28PM

    You have a great wife, hope you appreciate her. Welcome to the real world.Everything we put in or near our mouths counts in the end.Glad you were able to go to the gym. Traveling so much has to be hard.
emoticon emoticon stay positive.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATHERINEL66 5/3/2010 9:13PM

    Dang ... I am mumbling to myself about fourteen weeks of non-stop weight loss! At my snail's pace of a pound every other week, I'm too awed by all that fabulous progress to think past it, LOL!

I think it's great you're continuing forward ... keep on going!



Report Inappropriate Comment
JAKEANDNELLIE 5/3/2010 7:58PM

    I remember how relieved I was the first time I "slipped" and immediately got back on the wagon - it was important to know that I could do that and continue making progress. It was a freedom from having to be perfect, just like you said!
Now, I don't panic when I gain a few pounds - I know the reasons why and they involved choices I made. I can make the choice to return to my program and get on with becoming a healthier me.
Stay positive,
Sheila

Report Inappropriate Comment
IDALUKE 5/3/2010 7:57PM

    That is so true, I just like the way you are, You have such fantastic blogs I love them emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FANAMAMA 5/3/2010 3:33PM

    Phew. What a relief! You're NOT perfect after all. Welcome to the club! We're glad you're here! emoticon
I happen to love you just the way you are.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARB3284 5/3/2010 3:10PM

    When I made the goal of getting below 190 by May 1, I got obsessed with the scale and sabatoged myself. That scale became my judge and executioner. I, too, had to go back and remember EXACTLY what it was I was aiming for---eating healthy and being fit, NOT a number, not winning a competition with myself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEISENUF 5/3/2010 3:03PM

    Great blog! I read the one about your one pound weight loss first and I though to myself.....Pefectionism can be our biggest battle in life.

No one is perfect, not one. If I beat myself up every time I failed at something I wouldn't have any joy in my life. Glad to see you have cut yourself some slack...YOU ARE A WINNER! You will suceed as you continue to have faith.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCYNA 5/3/2010 2:42PM

    I 'm learning too emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOHEMIANCAT 5/3/2010 2:30PM

    Well, John,
I saw an answer to your blog on another blog... the snowball effect, right?
I like what you have to say and feel much the same way. We are in this together and all my best wishes go to you!
Linda

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMRBUDDY 5/3/2010 2:07PM

    Hi John,

I just came across your page and really enjoyed your blog and sense of humor. I had to go back and read several others. I would love to add you to my friend list.

Very inspiring! Kate

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEEMAWEST 5/3/2010 2:02PM

    We're here for you! Always!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HVMBRU 5/3/2010 1:59PM

    Something just clicked again, and again and when will I just accept it and remember. What I do is give the donut (or whatever) my power over me. Simple as that. And when I am aware of what I am doing or about to do, then I have the power to stop.



Report Inappropriate Comment
WEEZIE1122 5/3/2010 1:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECCALYNN75 5/3/2010 1:44PM

    I was watching TV this weekend and can't remember what it was on (maybe a music video?) but someone had a sticky note on their computer that said (something like) "I will make better mistakes tomorrow". Yes, we're going to make mistakes everyday but hopefully they aren't the same ones we made today. If we keep improving ourselves and our lives, we'll just be making better mistakes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HVMBRU 5/3/2010 1:36PM

    So glad I came across your blogs! Just one comment - You are so fortunate you can stop at one donut. Ha! I may be good one day but then the next, I eat 2 and on and on it goes! Makes me realize how I lost my 25 lbs. - I was perfect! I guess I am just one of those people who can't indulge at all. But more power to you!

If you have any suggestions let me know. . .I sure hate being this way.

Helen

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEMILO 5/3/2010 1:28PM

    It's a good lesson to learn, and one that resonates with all of us. Good to hear that you're back to good habits, and I think it won't be too long before you will be reporting to all of us that you kicked that 1.2 to the curb, and some more along with it!


Report Inappropriate Comment
SKIPPELM 5/3/2010 12:37PM

    HI John,
Wow, amazing! I am new to the Spark and so thrilled I cam across your blog. Even though I'm in my first week, I've already been dreading the weight that is always trouble for me. As soon as I lose enough to get there I panic and do an about face and gain all the weight back. And this time around I'm trying to figure out why- thank you so much for finding the answer for me!! It is all aobut perfection, it's this pressure I put on myself without even realizing it, pressure that says you only lost 1 lb this week, or pressure that says you wont get any lower than x weight- you get my drift. Anyhow, this was a huge eye opener for me- THANK YOU! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESTSUSIEYET 5/3/2010 12:03PM

    It hadn't occurred to me that with each week of continued success came a sense of "gotta stay perfect" -- but I know you are right. And I recognized myself in the comment about the bad choice last week didn't cause me to gain, so I can do it again this week. Keep on telling us the truth -- and we'll learn to believe it! Thanks again, John! Have a blessed week of wise choices!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RHAL1462 5/3/2010 11:49AM

    You re very insightful. Thanks for letting us know we don't have to be perfect either. We are who we are and we need to learn to love us anyway don't we.


I have read you last 3 blogs and find you to be inspiring. Thank you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINENA1 5/3/2010 11:43AM

    John you're amazing! You're SO right! We DON'T have to be perfect. Nobody is asking us to be perfect. Thank you so much for your blog. You are WONDERFUL!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHANGE_4_ME 5/3/2010 11:37AM

    Just came across your blog. One word- uplifting! Hang in there!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
YOYONOMORE1 5/3/2010 10:33AM

    Hi John, somehow I had missed the last two blogs so went back and read them. Glad you have recognized you don't need to be perfect, come on, who on this earth can be totally perfect, no one that I know of. We are human beings and will act like human beings, what we can do though is each day try and be the best we can for that day. I am so glad you are with us on this journey, your blogs add much to my days and you have a way of putting things so very well. Oh, yes, last but not least be thankful for that good woman who stands beside you. You are blessed. Have a great Monday.

Hugs,
Shirl

Report Inappropriate Comment
STILLPOINT 5/3/2010 10:32AM

    JOhn, I loved your blog. Thank you for being so honest! YOu are back on track and learned a huge lesson last week!

I am sooooooooooooooooooo not perfect!!! I have been doing a lot of tweaking. I know I generally eat healthy and am active. All I need to do is step it up a tiny bit and I'll lose the weight. There are times when I think - LOSER! Why can't you keep this up. But mostly, I know I just need to be good to myself, good to my body by feeding it healthy food, exercising, yoga, and taking care of myself. And to never never quit.

Looking forward to hearing more about you! Have a great week.

Report Inappropriate Comment
-H0LY-Y0GA- 5/3/2010 10:14AM

    Just found your blog and have read the last three entries. Such wonderful realism and encouragement. Thank you!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEVENIRBELLE 5/3/2010 9:27AM

    Thanks for your blog. I have been a perfect SP for the last two months as a newbie. And I was so proud to reward myself when I hit the two month mark. But along with the pride came a let down. I was seeing that now I have to do this again for another two months. It did not seem fair. I got discouraged. I decided that I needed a break from all this perfection. I took the weekend to break the routine. I had some white wine, Orville Smart Popcorn and I did not do my usual exercise routine. And today is Monday and I am back on track. We all need a break. It is life. We are not robots. And as they say in the program, we need to be consistent. THe message is over time that we follow a better way of eating and behaving is what is important. A few days is OK to keep us going. I had some guilt but I let it go so I could enjoy my sabbatical!

Good job! Thanks for sharing. This was a message I needed to hear.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAE_HENNINGTON 5/3/2010 9:11AM

  John,I love your insights, as I consider myself a very insightful person. What makes you unique. You are not afraid to share yourself with us. Every word you write is open and honest and heart felt. I find comfort in what you write from your heart. I am on a road to open myself up to others, not a easy thing to do when I was always taught that is not the best thing to do... your writings touch my heart giving me strength and hope. Wishing for you a wonderful monday with lots of smiles

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATHERINEL66 5/3/2010 8:59AM

    John I am SHOCKED that you ate a donut and didn't put it on your food tracker! OMG!

Glad you have your spark back and see the middle way.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CMBELISLE 5/3/2010 8:52AM

    Funny how our acknowledgment of our imperfections helps us reach our goals better than trying to be perfect.

Last week wasn't the greatest for me food-wise either and your blog reinforced my thought that I'm not alone and that I really don't have to be perfect. I just have to keep at it, keep adjusting and never give up.

Thanks for being a friend and have a great week!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GREENCAT1 5/3/2010 8:52AM

    John you always say the things that I need to hear. I am so glad that perfection is not part of this process. I attended a popular weight loss program years ago and I had to quit when I heard the women behind me, as we were in line for weigh in, discussing how "bad" they were because they had an extra diet chocolate pudding! I can't handle that mentality! We aren't "bad" even when we have a donut or two! It is just a matter of getting back on the path to wellness. I want to be healthy - so do you - it is a life long process - and it truly is a joy. Nothing compares to the freedom of losing the fat that holds us captive inside our bodies. Nothing compares to the feeling of being able to move your body, of sleeping well, and of the feeling of well-being that comes after a healthy meal, eaten with mindfullness. Thank you again, friend, for saying it all. (I think I just wrote my blog for today! i am copying and pasting this one! emoticon



Love you,

Cathy emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMABILE75 5/3/2010 8:39AM

    We are so lucky to have a friend like you behind us John. You are so great at offering perspective, always so supportive and your blogs are always thoughtful and inspiring.

Thank you for being you!!! You are wonderful!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

A Setback and A Lesson Learned

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Every morning I receive a small meditation via email. It’s something I have done since the late eighties. A friend gave me the book for a birthday present and in close to twenty years it’s been torn and mutilated to the point it was falling apart. I was really happy to discover that it was online. (What isn’t!!!) Every morning when I open my email I get a little motivation right out of the gate.

This morning’s first line reads as follows:

“To conquer adverse circumstance, conquer yourself.”

This morning was not a good morning for a lot of reasons. For the first time since joining Spark I had a weight gain. It was only 1.2 pounds but I am not going to lie to you, it devastated me. Gosh, I really thought all of those old feelings had gone away when I started losing weight. Guess what? They all returned. I got scared, the hyperventilating type of scared. I cried, just a little. My shoulders slumped and in my mind it was the beginning of the end.

Thank goodness for my wife. Seriously or they’d be preparing the papers to admit to a chocolate rehab facility. There is not a lot that flusters Joan. The first question she asked me was “Are you going to have breakfast soon because if you are I’ll wait and eat with you.” Nerves of steel.

As we ate she looked over her glasses at me and posed this question “If you were one of your coaching clients and they called you this morning, what would you tell them?”

I thought for a minute and said “I’d ask them to write down what they thought went wrong, where their behavior had changed from previous weeks and then put together an action plan to correct it. I’d tell them to put the plan into place and move forward and quit acting like the world ended.”

Joan smiled over her cup of coffee. Game, set and match.

After breakfast I went downstairs and took out my legal pad. What had I done differently? In a nutshell I had gotten sloppy and lazy. I was tracking my food but seriously, who needed to write down everything? After all, if I took a handful of chips, it was okay because I had ramped up my cardio. (Any of this sound familiar to anyone?)

Lazy produces results just like healthy activity produces results only it’s not the kind of results I am looking for. I got cocky and full of myself and figured that the weight would just fall off no matter what. It was small things. I never deviated from my calories but I was close to the top end all week which meant with all my little “cheats” I was over the line. I got lazy by eating out four nights out of seven because I said I was tired, too tired to cook. Oh, I ate healthy, LOL, restaurant healthy.

“To conquer adverse circumstance, conquer yourself.”

I need to tighten a few loose bolts, no big over haul, just getting back to basics. While I am in phase three, I pulled out The Spark and am going back to phase one for a week so I can relearn those good habits that got me started.

It’s a wakeup call and thank goodness it was only a 1.2 pound wake up call. My generally positive attitude is coming back and I don’t feel as devastated. I’ll get there and so will you. We are all in this together and I am grateful for all your support, as always.

In one of his epistles Paul says something about “Keeping your eye on the prize.” That’s really good advice, especially this morning.

Oh yeah. I also noted during all this, as I have known for a long time "Behind every sucessful man stands a wise woman."

Have a blessed Sunday

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMILINGSARA 5/17/2010 6:39PM

    I understand completely. You described the way I am feeling today. Thanks for posting your feelings and how you were able to stay on track.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETHANNEBEL 5/8/2010 11:34AM

  I really like this blog. I too am struggling with the little "cheats" and justifying the reasons why it is okay to do so. I plan to do better this week and now I know I can. You are so right about us all being in this together. I am glad I am not alone.
Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHEILAKHS1 5/6/2010 2:32PM

    great blog...i have been sitting reading them. i was having a rough time staying motivated and one of my Spark freind told me to stop by your page...i am really glad she led me to yours

Report Inappropriate Comment
TREKJUNKIE 5/6/2010 12:30PM

    Thank you for sharing. I never stick to diets because I get discouraged if I have even one setback. This is encouraging and I will remember it anytime I stumble!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MALEXANDER4 5/6/2010 11:29AM

    Thank you. I myself had been self sabataging myself...now i'm back on track. This is a new week with a whold new set of rules for me...Good luck to you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVETROY 5/5/2010 11:31PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TONIABLAKE 5/5/2010 10:12PM

    Beautifully written. I am grateful too for a wonderfully supportive partner. My husband never gets flustered either and encourages and reassures as I need it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISTINEW1984 5/5/2010 9:53PM

  Very inspiring---thank you!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JMCADE 5/5/2010 8:26PM

    Great blog, I think we all go through this. It is good that you have the support that you needed. We should all be that lucky. I am glad that you turned it around right away and did not wallow in your misery!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARUNION 5/5/2010 8:07PM

  I had a 1.5 lb weight gain this week and your blog expressed exactly my recent behavior.I ate a bite of this as I prepared dinner or sampled a treat at work.When I waas presented with the results i was dissappointed to say the least.BUt like you a have a wise and wonderful wife,I have a terrific husaband whoe reminded me to simply get back on track-that this was a journey nota judgement. MY lovey is right! I have wonderful support-SP is the greatest gift and I embrace my journey-roadblocks and all.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRYSAFROG 5/5/2010 3:09PM

    Excellent blog and so close to what I am going through in my own journey right now. I guess I never equated the plateau I am on (or any weight gain) to me being cocky, but it totally fits. I, too, have "little cheats" and those little cheats are turning into a huge cheat to my new lifestyle.

Thank you for the reality check.

Good luck to you in your journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOM_TO_6 5/5/2010 2:02PM

  Inspiring, thank you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STACYLEIGH09 5/5/2010 12:33PM

    Great Blog!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLANG1 5/5/2010 10:36AM

  Good read and great reminder that the small things do count. Often, in many aspects of life, we have to return to the basics to continue moving forward. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SK3333 5/5/2010 9:41AM

    This is the stuff! Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITCHIC75 5/5/2010 9:24AM

    Well said.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWICETHEMAN 5/5/2010 9:15AM

    Doctor heal thyself, Coach coach thyself. Good insight and good coaching advice for the wife.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINFROG 5/5/2010 9:04AM

    Great Blog!!! I only started here a few weeks ago, and even though I have been really good about staying in my calories and working out daily, I have just experienced my 1st set back and it has me bummed. I am still not sure where I went wrong, but I will keep plugging away.....Hope you have a great week!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADREAMA 5/5/2010 6:21AM

    Excellent blog. thanks for sharing, it gave me a giggle with your wifes wisdom.
I can so relate re the little cheats and extra exercise. The main thing I learned over the last year of slipping the weight back on...while I could kid myself that the 'little cheats' here and there were not doing too much damage. the reality is that they do and they have.
The only way I have ever succeeded at weight loss is to religiously write down everything that goes in my mouth. If I cant track it, I cannot put it in my mouth. That is what I have to do to succeed at this, so that is what I will do.


Report Inappropriate Comment
HEARTSTOPPER 5/5/2010 12:30AM

   
Good blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRISTIEE1 5/5/2010 12:15AM

    great blog!!!! sound like your wife is wonderful support My DHis my support system and is also the one who makes me see we all make mistakes but we dont give up cause there is light at the end of the tunnel!! good luck you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAMMYFOX3 5/4/2010 10:14PM

    Thank you for sharing!!! I been on diet for almost 2 weeks have not lost a pound but i think now everyday before i put any thing in my mouth is this gonna help me reach my goal and it keeps me in check!!!! My sig other is on the same diet and he lost 5 pounds but i cant be mad got to keep jogging along!!! I have faith that we can all do this with the support we got going on here!!! My mind is so full with great information thats here is these pages!!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ETPHONEHOME9092 5/4/2010 9:23PM

  Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
4ABETTERMETODAY 5/4/2010 8:53PM

  I enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBIJEANB 5/4/2010 5:58PM

  We have all been there and being hard on ourselves is our worse enemy.Just remember too love yourselve and know that none of us our perfect.Get back on the horse and start a new day. You can not change the past just learn from it. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIFF38 5/4/2010 5:51PM

    I have NEVER had a weight loss that has stuck. I will have a low weight and then I will gain a little... ALWAYS, I guess it is just how my body acts, so I never get upset, I still feel a little frustrated, but I know that I will loose the next weigh in. (Well except for the month of April.... somehow I didn't loose a single pound :(
I am a life coach!! I just have not worked as one for a while, wanting to get back into it. I feel ready and like I have better tools this time around.
Have a great day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LYNNSHARON1 5/4/2010 5:36PM

  Right on, I too had a slow start this week, ate way to much over the weekend. I guess we all have some faults.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEETNEENI 5/4/2010 5:22PM

    Great blog! Glad you are back on track emoticon WOOOOO-WOOOOO!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYLIFEROCKS 5/4/2010 5:18PM

    Wonderful blog!! Love your positivity and your wife rocks!!! emoticon

Thank you for sharing!!

Bev

Report Inappropriate Comment
BABYLOBO3 5/4/2010 4:42PM

    Awesome, thank you...Tina emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAJOOD85 5/4/2010 3:46PM

    Thanks for sharing!
Reading this post was like me talking to myself...
I gained weight this week... and I was so pissed at first... but then I had to get myself back together... instead of being mad and stopping the exercising and not writing everything down and making things even worse... we have to get back on track and GET BACK what we gained last week!! Stay strong... you can do this!

Comment edited on: 5/4/2010 3:51:00 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANUT4DISNEY 5/4/2010 2:31PM

    Awesome blog. Thank you for posting it, gives me a lot to think about.

Have a great day.

Shirley

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARYJAN 5/4/2010 1:15PM

    Thanks for the very helpful Blog. You have a wise wife and you are pretty sharp yourself!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MCFERRET 5/4/2010 12:39PM

    Good plan - although I think you are a little too hard on yourself. My weight can fluctuate as much as 8 pounds in a week! I try not to get frustrated by it and have gone to weighing myself less frequently. I think keeping the eye and goal on healthy is surpassing the weight only goal. Should you evaluate what is different? Yes! and fix it, if it needs fixing. Get out of sorts - hard to avoid, but try not to. Chin up - we are on this road for a lifetime!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KEEPITSIMPLE_ 5/4/2010 12:33PM

    Thank you! You have hit the nail right on the head. I've had a start to the week pretty much like yours and I'm sure it's directly related to the poor choices I made Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I must have let all those wonderful compliments go straight to my head. Definitely a lesson learned!! Kudos to your wife too for her support in a way that didn't make you feel even worse!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANASNOW 5/4/2010 12:29PM

    Awesome Blog. Smart Wife. Good Plan.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BERKLEYGIRL 5/4/2010 12:22PM

    Great blog and good timing for me too. I've lost some ground the last few weeks and I have such a hard time getting started again after I've "slipped". I feel so down on myself and defeated.... Truly it's amazing to me though that this is your first little gain in your journey! That's actually very impressive. I can't go more than two months without posting at least one gain blip. Thanks for the reminders and encouraging blog.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOOSE40DEBDEB 5/4/2010 12:09PM

  It's amazing how easy it is to have those little cheats. I can't afford to eat out that much but make up for in those little cheats. Thanks for bringing it all back to reality.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PRAYINGSUZIE 5/4/2010 12:09PM

    Thank you so much for sharing. God bless.

Suzie

Report Inappropriate Comment
DRADISCH 5/4/2010 11:06AM

    Thank you, Thank You Thank You. I just posted on activity that I gained & so ashamed of myself. You hit me right on the mark with what you did & said. Today is my new beginning again.I am starting over with 1 also. I need to get over Restaurant healthy too. The the things i didn't put down that put me over too.
Way to go.
Donna

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARENV986 5/4/2010 10:57AM

  What a blessing you have in your wife! Great action plan - you know what to do. All the tools are at your disposal, you just have to put them to work. Have a great week - I predict those pounds will be gone along with a few more. God bless!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEEDTOLOSE100LB 5/4/2010 9:54AM

    Isn't it interesting how we can be our own best friend and our own worst enemy. We can make excuses for ourself that we won't for someone else. Keeping focused on that "prize", whatever it may be, is definitely good advice. It keeps us grounded, without time or need to make excuses.
Here's to our prizes and keeping our lives simple.

Laurie

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRINAGU3 5/4/2010 9:25AM

    This was very good for me to read this morning. Thank you for sharing it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
UKTHIRI 5/4/2010 9:11AM

    Wow! The truth will set you free. Right! I loved your blog, and I know that you will be successful. You know how I know? No one can be that honest with themselves and EVERYONE else, and not succeed.

You're going to meet your goals. In fact, I predict you will exceed them. Spark on!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAWNDMOORE40 5/4/2010 8:42AM

    I think we are both blessed to have such supportive people to spend our lives with! I am getting married in July and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend!
He is very supportive of my lifestyle changes and he even cooks for me so when I come in that door after 6'oclock in the evening, I don't have to start cooking. He works nights and he likes to cook because that is what he went to school for.

Anyway, I guess I started rambling on about myself when this blog is supposed to be about how proud I am of you that you recognized the areas that were weak and you are doing what is necessary to get yourself back on track! It sounds like you both or people of faith and that is wonderful because God never gives us more then we can handle!

Have a good day and stay forcused! emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/4/2010 8:43:41 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
JULIA_211 5/4/2010 8:27AM

    You are both lucky to have each other! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZIPPYSPINK1 5/4/2010 8:00AM

    thank you so much for yourtruthful experience , It certainly was an encouragment to me.I really wish I knew something to say to you that would encourge you. the only thing that comes to mind is.
"WITH GOD BEFORE US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US" thANK YOU AND YOUR WIFE emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTHA6163 5/4/2010 7:08AM

    Thanks for blogging this. It has helped me also. God bless.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EGGENS 5/4/2010 6:12AM

    You have a wise wife! And you are a wise man to listen and put the action plan into motion. I know this will be a good week for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMLADY133 5/4/2010 5:36AM

  Thank you for your posting. Your blog reminds me of a small book my mom gave me years ago when I went off to college, so I wouldn't lose my way. (Streams in the Desert) I recently have come back to SP, I started 2 years ago@ a healthy weight/BMI and wanted to slim down to my college hey day weight. (Hence the tag 133) As life would have it I went the Oopposite Direction (spelling intentional) I gained 23 lbs in 2 years and am now at an overweight an unhealthy BMI. Not to mention that's like a pound every month. If you have any advice for me Id gladly take some. Thank you for putting this post out there I realize I have to go over my journal, find out where I went off track and go back to the basics of phase 1. Thanks. And God bless.

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 Last Page