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It's Not Your Fault

Saturday, February 02, 2013

A dear Spark friend lost their job this past week. It wasn't anticipated. It came out of the clear blue and well, we've all had those moments in our lives where we sit their numbly and seem to move as if by rote. Like losing a partner or a child the experience is so private and so personal that you are left standing there as if sand were running through your hands - anything you might say seems so damned inadequate. So you mumble the obligatory "I'm sorry," "I'm here for you," or "Ill pray for you." Silently you utter a prayer that thanks your deity of choice for not putting you through this experience.

For those of us who have been through this gut wrenching experience the gauntlet we run is agonizing. We scrutinize our selves, our performance at work. Did we upset someone? Was out work sub par?

"I'm a good person!!! Why would they get rid of me."

"I've got obligations and bills and..........."

Somedays there is not enough anti anxiety medication in the world to calm the storm but there is one solid and true fact I know for experience: No matter what anyone implies, it's not your fault.

Anxiety turns to anger and we lash out and blame and we look for some sort of answer that helps us balance the scales in our lives because we are so sure the rest of the world is judging us like crazy. After all, we just got fired. We feel embarrassed especially when we sort of shrug our shoulders and say "I'm really not sure why." We imagine the world doing one of those "Yeah right!" in response.

So if you've had this experience recently I can assure of you of three things:

It's not your fault
Pain is necessary, suffering is optional
"Be still and know that I am God."

One of my morning meditations this week said the following: "Quite often the pain and anxiety we feel over a life situation is simply God clearing a path for our success.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIRANIMAL 2/4/2013 7:47PM

    Oh, but man, is it ever hard to see that path when you're in the thick of it! I do believe god/the universe/etc. only gives us what we can handle, and that's why all my tribulations have taken other forms, because I would crumble in an instant at this one! Soooo hard, and my heart goes out to your friend!

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NASFKAB 2/3/2013 4:31AM

  thanks for the post

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CARTOONB 2/2/2013 11:51PM

    Well said.

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MOBYCARP 2/2/2013 7:24PM

    Thank you for this blog. Involuntary job loss has been on my mind lately. My job is as secure as it has been for the past decade or so, but the way of the world now is such that I expect my career to end in layoff rather than in planned retirement.

I won't be my fault.
Suffering will be optional.
I need to be still, and look for what God intends.

Good thoughts to keep in mind for when/if the layoff happens.

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HDHAWK 2/2/2013 6:30PM

    Good meditation and one we need to be reminded of. It's so hard to see when you're in the middle of a situation.

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AJDOVER1 2/2/2013 6:27PM

    I appreciate this so much, John. Change is so hard to bear sometimes, especially when it comes as a shock. Job losses affect whole families and it's difficult to step back and see God's plan amid the chaos.

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GEEMAWEST 2/2/2013 5:35PM

    You are such a wise man and I thank God that you are in my life!

Thanks for being you.

Love and Hugs emoticon

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NEEDBU66 2/2/2013 4:38PM

    Bad bad bad economy.

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ANATASHIKI 2/2/2013 12:48PM

    it never happened to me, but after winning the contest for my actual job, in a country where many of these contests are sold or at least tampered with, I realized that all the 11 years of med school and residency I was preparing for not having a job and having to quit and do something else. I try to remember that and how lucky I am to have a job in a small town in these times. even if it's not stellar. I confess my gratitude needs working on it emoticon

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VICKI-BISHOP56 2/2/2013 10:29AM

  My son just lost his job too and only because the owners wife decided she wanted that position so since she couldn't do it as long as Chris had it, he had to go. But he's got interviews lined up for a new job and he tells me he'll be fine. So I have to accept that and leave it in God's hands. emoticon

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DEBRITA01 2/2/2013 9:55AM

    ...or when He closes one door, He opens another. If we can be patient we discover the plan He has for us. Good blog, John. emoticon

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REGILIEH 2/2/2013 9:45AM

    So beautifully said! What is that saying, when a door closes a window opens, something like that. I hope that person who lost their job will claim that it will be a good thing and he/she will get a better job! I'm believing it for them.

John, you ALWAYS know exactly what to say and how to say it! What a gift you have been given and what a gift we have been given in getting to read your words.

emoticon emoticon

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SLIMLEAF 2/2/2013 9:17AM

    "Quite often the pain and anxiety we feel over a life situation is simply God clearing a path for our success."

- that's a great quote, John. Thank you!

I'll let you know when I get to the 'success' part.

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PATTILYNN224 2/2/2013 9:11AM

    Been there as well. Just know it does get better.

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BLUEROSE73 2/2/2013 9:06AM

  Been there. It really sucks. My prayers are with your friend to find the new path that is out there somewhere for them

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But Will They Have Facebook Accounts?

Thursday, January 31, 2013

This one has me scratching my head.

The Smithsonian Zoo in Washington DC announced that it has purchased IPads for the orangutans it houses in its primate exhibit. It has to do with mental focus and boredom. Apparently this form of primate lives a really long time and in lay persons a term using an Ipad helps them maintain mental agility.

Question: What did they do before Steve Jobs was born?

Each orangutan has its favorite applications and they enjoy the tapping noise the key board brings to them. The attendants have to hold the Ipad because orangutans also have a penchant for destroying things. It seems they enjoy the act of destruction.

I’m not making this up. I sat with my mouth hanging open as the NBC Nightly News showed cute pictures of orangutans tapping out their favorite apps. But wait, there is more!!! The next video showed dolphins tapping the Ipad with their long noses.

Every time I turn on a TV I hear about this fiscal cliff and a world depression. We have hungry and homeless people subsisting through their entire life and we consider monkeys who play with computers a much more satisfying investment

I’m beginning to think we deserve everything we get.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2013LOSE20 2/1/2013 5:55PM

  You can't compare world hunger with this. I don't see the analogy at all. That's like saying humans should not buy their dogs and cats toys or make their life satisfying because there is world hunger. Or we as humans should not take a vacation because there is world hunger. Actually the trainers can learn a lot from this that may help humans with very low I.Q's learn.

I always liked your gifted writing skills and still do but I don't agree with you on this one. I wish you a healthy weekend.

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CC3833 2/1/2013 3:44PM

    As cute as that seems to be I don't believe they need an ipad.

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DOLLY1259 2/1/2013 10:52AM

    Wow. Thanks for sharing. As a country we do have our priorities messed up. Many people live from paycheck to paycheck, are homeless or go to bed hungry. Definitely those in control are out of touch.

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NASFKAB 2/1/2013 5:05AM

  unbelievable this emphasis on being occupied is going too far

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    Sometimes it's difficult to ascertain the superior beings. LOL.

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MOBYCARP 1/31/2013 8:59PM

    I recall a pet store owner telling me about parrots and boredom. Parrots are also long-lived, and they got them toys to alleviate boredom. But those toys tended to be made of wood and not terribly expensive, so it wasn't a big deal that the parrots liked to tear them to pieces.

Could we get something a big cheaper than iPads for the orangutans to enjoy destroying?

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WORKINGSTIFF 1/31/2013 5:47PM

    The world is indeed a crazy place at times...monkeys with I pads and children without books, homes, or food.

But seriously, haven't we been doing the same thing to our own young for the past generation? I have friends who gushed about how prolific their toddlers were on computers, but I warned them: don't let them spend too much time on them. We have a generation growing up who is in constant need of external stimulation, and without it declare themselves "bored."

Comment edited on: 1/31/2013 5:50:09 PM

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REGILIEH 1/31/2013 4:02PM

    It is SICK!!!!! DISGUSTING!!!!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 1/31/2013 1:56PM

    My two furballs aka cats love my Ipad. They sleep on it every chance that get.

On a more serious note, I'm thinking there are other ways, that are natural, to keep them mentally stimulated for the balance of their lives. The best The Smithsonian Zoo could come up with is an IPad? Sad, very Sad!!

As a side note: Recently four homeless people turned down unopened, fresh food when I offered it to them. I'm still not sure how to process that.

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SLIMLEAF 1/31/2013 12:35PM

    That's incredible!

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CMBELISLE 1/31/2013 12:34PM

    Ahhhhh...nice to see our tax dollars at work. NOT! This is the kind of wasteful spending that really infuriates me. If the government weren't so deep in dept, fine - it's research, but this is ridiculous.

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GIRANIMAL 1/31/2013 11:12AM

    Finally, someone understands my bitter jadedness! emoticon

I saw a photo package about this online about a week ago, I think. I'm all for research, but I hear you loud and clear about having our priorities all screwed up. I have been obsessing over this TINY house for sale in my neighborhood, and it seems insane for the price, except when you consider that it's a double lot in Chicago (do you know how much food I could grow in such a HUGE yard?!) and, you know, smaller just seems smarter and smarter to me. emoticon

It might also have something to do with SUVs that run us cyclists off the road. Sigh. Sometimes I just want to scream "give me LESS!"

Of course, don't get me wrong. I'm not perfect and I see my own hypocrisy sometimes. Like "needing" a new computer, when I barely use the one I have at home now. All of our "stuff" is powerful stuff!

Comment edited on: 1/31/2013 11:13:53 AM

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NEEDBU66 1/31/2013 10:30AM

    Gave up on facebook
have a burn phone
don't have an I Pad.

It means I have to find my own way of trying to keep my mental agility intact. Wish me luck!

Hey, and speaking of luck, congrats on the grandkid!

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CRYSTALJEM 1/31/2013 10:08AM

    My cat's love our IPad, although they don't appear to have any favourite apps. They don't seem to like my dog barking app that much though. LOL.

If I was locked up in a cage I suppose I would appreciate someone holding an IPad for me to play with too - because after being locked up I'd probably be fairly destructive too.

We do get what we "deserve" - it's the way of the universe - it's where we go from there each time that matters. Sometimes the path is pretty muddy and it's impossible to figure out ourselves why or how it all fits into the picture, but somehow I do believe it does; even the horrible atrocities and even the stupidity.

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SHERIO5 1/31/2013 9:49AM

    I'm with you...

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HDHAWK 1/31/2013 9:20AM

    There are some pretty dumb decisions being made, no doubt about that!

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VICKI-BISHOP56 1/31/2013 9:02AM

  What will they come up with next???????????? emoticon

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MYOWNHERO 1/31/2013 9:02AM

    Now I'm dying to know what their favorite apps are...

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NEWMOM20121 1/31/2013 8:54AM


I have thought that for a while.

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ANATASHIKI 1/31/2013 8:49AM

    of course we deserve it emoticon and we're not far from the orangutans either, and I'm not excluding myself emoticon

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Isaiah 50:10-11

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Part of my overall wellness initiative for 2013 is to take time at the beginning of each day to meditate and reflect. I’ve found that when I don’t my days seem more scattered and less focused. I’m inclined to succumb to impulsive eating and some of those negative voices that only hold me back.

This morning, when I completed my meditation, I opened my Bible to Isaiah Chapter 50. Don’t ask me why. I believe what I read each morning is what I am meant to read for that day, ponder the thought and integrate it into my life. Questioning why I’m reading what I’m reading just wastes valuable time. When I reached Verse 10 and 11 I kept reading it over and over:

None of you respect the Lord
or obey his servant.
You walk in the dark
instead of the light;
you don’t trust the name
of the Lord your God.[a]
11 Go ahead and walk in the light
of the fires you have set.[b]

I sat back in my chair and looked around my office for a few minutes. I looked at all the “fires” I’d light. I started to feel that instead of simply trusting, I was creating a reality and an existence based on what everyone else was doing and not me. Those words “Go ahead and walk in the light of the fires you have set…” stung me. The fire I light will eventually extinguish and I’ll be left in the dark. My own devices haven’t worked in the past, why should they work now. A wise man once said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Maybe that’s what Isaiah was trying to tell me this morning. Maybe my well-built pyre and carefully distributed flames weren't as the modern parlance suggests “getting it.”

I’m no scripture scholar nor have I studied theology and the like. I’m not a preacher or even wise for that matter. God is personal to me and the more I trust Him the more comfortable I am having Him around. He guides me and then takes a step back so I can make my own choices.

For some reason I felt compelled to share this insight with you. I hope you enjoy it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 1/31/2013 9:20AM

    First of ARE wise, very wise. Not sure what your definition is to think that you are not.
Secondly, I do forget what wisdom there is in the scriptures because I rarely read the Bible. I buy all sorts of other inspirational books, and don't read them much either, truth be told. I am reading your blogs again and am finally caught up. Read and reflected on the last five pages of your blogs until I got up to date.

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AJDOVER1 1/31/2013 12:10AM

    thanks, John. You've given me something to ponder this evening....

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SLIMLEAF 1/30/2013 5:43PM

    Thanks for sharing that John. God seems to be trying to tell me something at the moment too, but I haven't figured out quite what it is yet. I broke my leg on Sunday which means no running, swimming, gym or driving for 6-8 weeks. Running, in particular, is such a big part of my life that not running is like having the rug taken from beneath my feet. So God's got my attention. I pray that both you and I hear what he's saying to us, have the courage to face up to the truth and the determination to act upon it. Fortunately, we'll have heaps of God's grace to make that possible.

God bless.

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    I have found that sometimes a scripture will find me or I will feel compelled to send a scripture to a friend. In both instances these messages will be very relevant to both of us. Things happen for a reason. We have to pray that we understand the message.

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DANCING4UJESUS 1/30/2013 2:29PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing with us. We all have things to learn about ourselves if we take the time to listen to what God is saying. It was a good word. Bless you

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ANATASHIKI 1/30/2013 1:37PM

    I'd say you already walk in that light , just you're too close to see it as well as us :D. and controlling our life or anything in our life is an illusion anyway.

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SUSANSERENE 1/30/2013 1:37PM

    Namaste, John. Thank you.

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NASFKAB 1/30/2013 1:04PM


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CC3833 1/30/2013 12:46PM

    This is nice. I was just thinking about getting a Bible the other day. I don't go to church really but that doesn't mean I don't believe in God. I remember as a young teen I would sit and read a few pages from the Bible each night. (my mom loved that) I didn't read it because I was told to... I just wanted to read it. And a coworker of mine is very involved in her church she said to me that everyone needs to read the Bible for themselves because it means something different to whoever is reading it. Just like you wouldn't just go into someone else's closet and wear their clothes because they think they are cute. I do find you wise... you definitely get my mind going with your comments/status/blogs pretty much everyday. And you are now another push for me to go get one, which I will have by the end of the weekend.. Thank you :-)

Comment edited on: 1/30/2013 12:48:15 PM

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REGILIEH 1/30/2013 12:11PM

    You always have great perspectives. I appreciate you!

Part of my devotional this moring said "Anxiety gains a life of its own, parasitically infesting your mind.". I think this is or can be so true.

emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/30/2013 12:12:04 PM

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SHERIO5 1/30/2013 10:50AM

    emoticon I needed to read these words today.

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SHSCHLEIN 1/30/2013 9:59AM

    Timely words, aptly spoken. Thank you!

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VICKI-BISHOP56 1/30/2013 9:51AM

  emoticon emoticon

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PATTILYNN224 1/30/2013 9:46AM

    I'm glad He gave you those verses to share with us. Good food for thought. I have many fires that I have set.

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LOUISE6296 1/30/2013 9:39AM

  Today I choose happiness.

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DEBRITA01 1/30/2013 9:19AM

    I'm glad you shared. We often feel we need to do everything on our own...trusting can be hard. I especially liked this; " He guides me and then takes a step back so I can make my own choices". So true, everything comes down to choice...and it's ours to make. Namaste, John. emoticon

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Saturday, January 26, 2013

I learned a lesson at Wal-Mart this morning and it humbled me.

I go grocery shopping with Joan and we have an understanding: I stay out of her way and she lets me go grocery shopping with her. Usually I wander the electronics aisle or sporting goods or DVD’s or something to just occupy my time. Joan phones me when it’s time to check out. I think it’s a win-win. I’m not really concerned with what paper towels we use and she has no desire to compare hack and slash movies.

After she called this morning I got stuck in the slow lane, lol In front of me was a lady with a cart and you could tell from her posture and pace she was on a mission. Blue tooth firmly planted in her ear she was talking to someone as she quickly advanced on two people side by side, with carts that were moving at a leisurely pace. She’d edge close to them and back off, edge close and back off. I decided to make an illegal pass and use the adjacent aisle usually reserved for cart traffic going the other direction. It was then I’d heard the crash. Shopper on a mission ran into shopper out to brose. Ever been hit from behind by a shopping cart? It usually runs up the back of your ankles and to use a scientific term sends you skittering- catty -wampus in an unknown direction. The offending party turned bright red and began offering all sorts of apologies. Her daughter was here, her son was there, she had to pick up her hubby and they had a movie to go to and dinner with friends and she needed fabric softener and don’t you know” I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME.” By the way, I’m sorry I hit you.

Who does, have enough time that is? Isn’t this our eternal excuse?” I’d love to exercise, but I don’t have the time, family and work comes first.” Who the he** argues with that logic?” “Quiet time is nice John but are you kidding? With everything I have going on……” Oh, I forgot, stress is a natural part of our lives, no?

The impact of what happened didn’t hit me until I arrived home later this morning. I’m that shopper with a purpose. I’m in such a hurry to get………….? “Where am I in a hurry to get to?” I put 10 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound sack. I claim to be mindful but I let circumstances dictate how I use my time. What kind of stuff can I live without but choose not to because it rubs against social norms and dictates, so I convince myself I “need” it? Smart phones, IPads, social media all make it easier to cram more stuff in and then I wonder how come I over eat emotionally at times.

For those of you over 50 you might recall a really great Broadway play called “Stop the World I Want to Get Off.” When I reach the point in my life, where I physically or emotionally run over other shoppers it’s time to take inventory.

So I was humbled my dearest reader. Humbled that I too hop on the treadmill and often judge my worth by how busy I truly am. I didn’t see it coming Life isn’t worth that, is it?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIRANIMAL 1/30/2013 1:09PM

    My every morning feels like this, and then, at least half of the time, so do my days at work. (Lunch break? Seriously?) I find myself getting annoyed and feeling "abandoned" by the one coworker who takes her lunch breaks religiously. Logically, I know that is ridiculous! Evenings are more of the same: rush home from work, clean up, pack lunch for the next day and then it's pretty much time for bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. It's kind of awful when I stop to think about it too long!

I've been longing for a way to at least make my mornings feel less chaotic, to better set up my mood for the day, but I have yet to find an answer. Ten minutes to just sit quietly (meditate) in the morning seems like a great idea, but I'm usually fighting so hard to stay awake that it seems implausible! It's really, honestly true, and yet, it still sounds a bit like an excuse. Priorities! I always have far too many of them at equal levels on the list.

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CC3833 1/28/2013 4:07PM

    Oh I think everyone uses that excuse. But like you said it is a vaild one. You just need to write everything down and take a look at what really comes first? Thanks for reminding me!

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NASFKAB 1/27/2013 4:37AM

  thought provoking thanks for sharing

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 1/27/2013 12:53AM

    Very interesting Blog John! Thanks for sharing!

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REGILIEH 1/26/2013 11:30PM

    Very thought provoking!!! emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 1/26/2013 10:30PM

    After years of being overly busy at a demanding job I like to be as unbusy as possible. Not total sloth but not on a treadmill 24/7 either.

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MOBYCARP 1/26/2013 8:39PM

    Time is the ultimate scarce resource. Use more of it on one thing, and you must perforce use less on something else. Sometimes I can do this purposefully; but most of the time I'm an observer noting what got squeezed out.

One of the big surprises in my life after finding SP is that most of my pleasure reading of fiction got squeezed out. Where did the time go? Some into participation on SP, but more into being active and spending more time messing with eating healthy than it took to just eat without paying attention.

Is this worth it? You bet it is. I miss reading fantasy; but not badly enough to go back to reading a lot of it, if that means not being active or not eating right.

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LYNMEINDERS 1/26/2013 8:34PM

    Brilliant blog John...
This is something I changed last year....go on missions but not to that extent anymore

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MARITIMER3 1/26/2013 5:19PM

    A good friend and I used to spend our "girls' nights out" one-upping each other about how busy our jobs were. I finally realized what we were doing, and have seen less of her recently. How busy we are doesn't matter. We're all busy, each in our own way; what matters is how we use the time that we have.

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MKPRINCESS007 1/26/2013 4:29PM

    I know those moments soooooooooooo well! It isn't always easy to take a breath and slow down, but man, it is so much better for a our mental and physical health!

Thanks for the great blog!


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CRYSTALJEM 1/26/2013 4:26PM

    So true. I find it incredibly hard to let go if the things I know truly don't serve me as much as they cost me time. It isn't any easier than stopping over eating. Slowly I'm learning not to start in the first place. I hope any way.

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ONEKIDSMOM 1/26/2013 4:07PM

    One of my favorite Spark calendar pages recommends, "Do less". Love it. Good insights, John. May you slow down and smell the roses!

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VICKI-BISHOP56 1/26/2013 1:14PM

  Bob will get very impatient with the "senior citizens" when we go shopping. He doesn't stop and think, "HE'S A SENIOR CITIZEN HIMSELF"!! LOL!
I much prefer shopping alone. Goes much quicker and we save money since if he stays home, a lot of stuff neither of us need, will not go into the cart. When he shops with me I can expect at least an extra $25.00 worth of spending. emoticon emoticon

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ANATASHIKI 1/26/2013 12:50PM

    lol , I went shopping today too . I can't say I was in a hurry but the shop was full of very old ladies letting their carts in very odd angles. but waiting a little and " please may I pass" worked wonders. I hate when I have that " busy" feeling. the " busy " time is stolen time from my real life, the one where I read , relax , feel good , talk to friends, take a walk, exercise , cook real food, track everything, meditate, did I mention read ? :D

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ANGJENN822 1/26/2013 12:40PM

    I'll be honest, John...if I tallied up all the time I spent doing 'other things' (i.e. facebook, gaming), I would find the free time to work out, to plan my meals, etc. But that stuff is work and I'm all about fun. I need to reset my priorities. Thanks for the reminder!

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HDHAWK 1/26/2013 11:57AM

    I am guilty of being impatient when people are piddling up and down aisles walking at a snail's pace. I want to get in and get out and move on to the next thing. I'm hoping that's because I don't enjoy grocery shopping. I'm much more patient while driving believe it or not (usually)!

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But I Didn't

Friday, January 25, 2013

Tucked away behind a long stretch of highways sits Diane’s Bakery. Diane is a wonderful lady and a most excellent baker. I pass her bakery three mornings each week as I motor out of town. IF Diane knows you, she will take the fresh, almost warm shell of a jelly donut and inject it with the filling of your choice. She will frost it, wrap it a piece of paper and put it in a bag for you. The only real description I have of this creation is “corpulent.” There is no way to eat this donut while you are driving. You have to turn off onto a side street and eat it covertly and then spend the next half hour licking the frosting and filling off of your lips.

I wanted a Diane’s Donut yesterday morning really bad. I had my Cheerios and almond milk for breakfast. (Middle age has brought with it a degree of lactose intolerance.) I packed my back pack and headed to get gasoline. For whatever reason I kept thinking about Diane and her donuts and with each passing moment I was creating all sorts of justifications for pulling into her parking lot and indulging in her forbidden pleasures.

But I didn’t.

I kept driving. It didn’t stop me from wanting the D**n donut but I kept driving. When I made a commitment to mindful eating I am made a commitment to honoring myself. When I break that commitment I suggest I am not worthy of honor. It’s okay to want the donut, that’s a natural feeling. I have to decide if that donut is my best interest and the interest of those who love me.

Oh, I know what you’re going to say; “All things in moderation.”

The average life expectancy for an American, combined male and female, is 77.6 years according to a Harvard Medical School publication. With the alarming surge in childhood obesity, my granddaughter’s average age, as we speak today is 10 years less than mine. That’s scary, so maybe its example time. I beeped at Diane and waved. She won’t have to reduce her staff because I’ve spurned those amazing jelly donuts. Emotionally, I felt better than I have in a while.

I coulda eaten that donut………… But I didn’t. How about you?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RSTENNER 1/28/2013 1:02PM

    Dang donut anyway, who invented them? emoticon

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BBECKER1955 1/26/2013 10:18AM

    You're a better man than I am, Gunga er ah John!

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NASFKAB 1/26/2013 4:44AM

  great job have to decide for yourself what is important

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KATHYM316 1/26/2013 3:46AM

    Way to go!!

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 1/25/2013 11:37PM

    Great job! Keep it up!

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CARTOONB 1/25/2013 10:51PM

    It depends on the day. If it were Saturday, I would have had the donut. If it were any other day, I would put it on my "wish list" for Saturday. If I still wanted it when Saturday rolled around, I would have it. Luckily, very little on my wish list still sounds good on Saturday.

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GEEMAWEST 1/25/2013 10:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RACINGSLUG 1/25/2013 5:16PM

    You did the right thing. Those do sound like really good donuts, though.

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KBRADFORD88 1/25/2013 4:44PM

    Today it sleeted here and all my memories of cold snowy weather include food. It took all I had not to run to the store and buy frozen pizzas and half gallons of ice cream, etc...Resistance can build that muscle. I ate instead a slice (1) from Whole foods pizza with mushrooms and spinach. I don;t have to stop having stuff. I just want it on my own terms. emoticon

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TRISTAROSE 1/25/2013 4:09PM


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MARITIMER3 1/25/2013 3:54PM

    Congratulations for not giving in to temptation!

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WORLDSERIES11 1/25/2013 2:15PM

    It's so hard sometimes to make the healthy choice...good for you!! emoticon

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GIRANIMAL 1/25/2013 1:32PM


I, on the other hand, far too easily caved and ate the last piece of my birthday cake. I told myself that although I know I shouldn't have it, if I eat it and just GET RID OF IT, I will no longer have to be tempted and avoid it! In my defense, the cake has been around almost 2 full weeks, and of course my husband has been munching on it too, so the fact that it lasted that long has to say something good for me! emoticon

And had it just been the cake, I would have been able to justify it as moderation and go about my business...but nooooo, that led to immediate and intense cravings for more junk food, so I had a piece of chocolate, about 8 frozen grapes (my lame attempt to "at least have something healthy," and then not one, but two cookies. They were gluten-free orange quinoa cookies -- OK, so they could have been worse for me for sure. And I even was happy to discover they are individually wrapped (convenient portion control), and two medium-sized cookies are a mere 99 calories! Then why the heck did I not *conveniently* stop at 1?!

I feel like I used to have a whole lot more willpower, so these days, I am even MORE impressed with your wonderfully healthy choice to abstain from that delicious-sounding doughnut! I am convinced that dumb cake is what set me off into a spiral -- perhaps the doughnut would have done the same for you.

So, well done! And I especially love, love, love that choosing to honor your value and that of your loved ones is what made you prevail -- calories alone would have been a fine reason, but you did one better. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/25/2013 1:34:51 PM

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MORTICIAADDAMS 1/25/2013 12:46PM

    I would have passed. Donuts are too rich for me. They almost make me sick. LOL.

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CRYSTALJEM 1/25/2013 12:38PM

    Very proud of you. That does take commitment. I am a moderation believer, but I think in this case you made the right decision. Moderation or not sometimes the answer is still no. Well done.

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SCHNEBL 1/25/2013 10:21AM

    Good for you! I will use that mind set this weekend to eat mindfully even though we are traveling. Thank you for always motivating me!


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MATHMAGICIAN 1/25/2013 10:19AM

    Thanks for the reminder that this is a commitment we make to honor ourselves. That was beautifully said. Interestingly, I find that after eating healthfully for an extended period of time, eating a donut leaves my mouth feeling like its coated in grease. It's like a form of aversion therapy provided by nature. The thought of that after effect is enough to keep me from wanting to eat a donut.

Thank you for caring for yourself and sharing your experience.

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VICKI-BISHOP56 1/25/2013 9:46AM

  WTG John. It shows you're sticking to your plan and working it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HDHAWK 1/25/2013 9:19AM

    emoticon I had an on track day too! First one in a long time that I didn't have at least a little "treat"! Awesome John!

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BARB5970 1/25/2013 9:01AM

    Excellent!!! Now that's a NSV!!! You have "sparked" a thought in my mind. How many times have I broken that same commitment to myself. To eat something that wasn't going to get me to my goal. I have blown off that commitment and have given into temptation over and over again. I think it's time to honor myself more and follow in your footsteps. Thanks for sharing. It was just what I needed this morning.

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CC3833 1/25/2013 8:58AM

    Wow thats awesome... Go you! I can't say I'm that good but there are times everyday where people offer me things and i just say no. Other times I am not as successful... but in time I'm sure I will get better at it. You should wear a huge smile on your face for such a great choice! Happy Friday!

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SLIMLEAF 1/25/2013 8:55AM

    Talk about a non-scale victory, John - that's got to be one of the best! Well done!
I'm so impressed because I understand just how difficult this must have been for you. What a Star you are!

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REGILIEH 1/25/2013 8:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon You didn't let yourself down!


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DOLLY1259 1/25/2013 8:32AM

    I am so proud for you. I have been in the same situation. When I resist the temptation instead of justifying it, I always feel better about myself. It is quite the battle since I am the queen of justification. The battle is definitely in my head!

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IMIN2GENES 1/25/2013 8:24AM

    Kudos to you for resisting the temptation!

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DEBRITA01 1/25/2013 8:14AM

    Great job resisting the donut! Yesterday while on break from work, I stopped in a convenience store to get a snack. After I read all the packages of all my old favorite snacks, I left empty-handed...nothing was worth it. Score one for me! emoticon

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SHERIO5 1/25/2013 8:14AM


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GRACIE4ONE 1/25/2013 8:07AM

    Way To Go, J!

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