Wednesday, October 03, 2012
I was looking forward to catching up with a friend last night. It seemed like forever since we talked. I knew from the first hello that something wasn’t right. Her boyfriend found himself in the unenviable position of not only losing one job but possibly two. You can only imagine the stress. Going from three incomes to one in the blink of an eye can set you into a real quick tail spin. I see many of you nodding your heads. You’ve been there, so have I. It’s the fear the unknown brings when it comes-o-callin’. Things that were inconsequential last week now seem to be a matter of life and death – and in many cases they are. So I did what a friend does, I listened.
After a bit I sort of scratched my head, contorted my face in one of those half-crazy looks and said. “You realize you’re one of my heroes don’t you?” There was a long moment of silence. “Look at everything you’ve endured in your short life, and each time you’ve always been much stronger.” My friend spent most of her youth and adolescence caring for a parent who was chronically ill. She missed out on a lot of things you and I take for granted, coupled with the unimaginable stress of not being able to help a parent get better. Eventually she had to make the tough decision to remove life support. In a phrase she amazes me and I reminded her yesterday.
I’m not discounting how tough life may be for her in the immediate future, I just reminded her of the reservoir of strength within her. That same reservoir resides in you and me. I felt a bit small as I lie in bed last night thinking of my friend and her plight. She can summon the courage to deal with life altering events and I fall apart trying to restrain myself from eating a donut. It’s not that I’m weak – far from it. I am ignorant of the amazing positive strength, resolve and love that are inside of me. I refuse to look in the mirror and see that warm glow that emanates from me; I only see the warts, the fat and a body that is slowly aging. I fail to take note of the amazingly strong person staring back.
So many times during the course of my day, people will tell me how great I am and I just don’t see it. That’s because I’m not looking hard enough. Thank You “A” for showing me that even in the things of life we find hard to deal with there is a moment of light and life to help us grow.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
I saw a cartoon the other day that pictured of an attorney talking on the telephone. The caption read, “I’m sorry mam’ I never heard of anyone suing a mirror manufacturer.” I’m not a huge fan of mirrors. They point out things I’d rather not see. They point out the here. I’m not always in the mood to deal with the here and now. Let me create a vision of the future. It’s much less threatening and easier to manage. I’ll only get a negative payoff from the future when it fails to come to pass and I’ll blame myself, just like I do for everything else that goes wrong in my life. Remain positive, listen to uplifting music create a collage of everything you always wanted and allow it to collect dust somewhere. It’s not real.
Wow John, that’s an awfully dim view of things. I’m making a point. We are so, so caught up in the latest and greatest feel good that we neglect to look in the mirror and love and appreciate the current version of ourselves. What do we think that we’ll learn all that positive behavior and loving appreciation of ourselves once we reach our goals? We view it as a reward. “I can finally be…….” Everything else in our world suggests practice makes perfect. We don’t hop in a car at the legal age and take off down the road. We practice, we study and we gain experience.
It’s hard to look in the mirror and see the real value we offer this world. We’re too caught up in reading other peoples stories and wishing that we somehow had the wisdom to “be like them.” The here and now cries out “Here I am, warts and all. I have something unique and special to offer you.” Some days the mirror is clear, some days dusty and some days I swear it’s cracked, but it’s MY mirror, created just for that amazing, yet often flawed version of me. There is no before and after, there is only now and the now should be embraced, warts and all starting today.
On my bulletin board this morning: “My name is John. I am warm and witty and I’ll be the best friend you ever had. I am charming but I also believe that at times there is no one who knows any more than I do. My smile and booming voice fills a room when I enter. I do not suffer fools patiently and often wish the world moved at my pace. I take time to share part of me with everyone I meet because I know what it’s like to feel abandoned and without a friend. I am a compulsive over eater, an emotional eater and I struggle almost daily with the fear brought on by panic/anxiety disorder. They are fears that almost never come true. I love to smile. “
So……….What about you?
Sunday, September 30, 2012
It’s hard to believe September has already come and gone. It’s time to account for my September health goals. I wrote a blog in early September where I told you, my dear friend and reader, that I was going to concentrate on three areas of improvement. I felt if I was successful in each area it would reflect when I stepped on the scale. Let’s see how I did.( I’m as excited as you guys are!!!)
My first goal was practicing portion control. I’ll give myself a solid B in this area. Plastic measuring spoons and cups aren’t all that expensive!!! For me, it was creating and taking the time to accurately measure and not saying “Yeah, that looks like a half of cup, don’t it?” Was it a pain? Yes indeed it was, especially for the first week ,but like anything else we repeat it became a habit. I received a pleasant surprise at mid-month. Our daughter Katie is a lifetime Weight Watcher member somehow ended up with two digital scales. She gave us one. This is a major benefit for me. It accurately weighs anything you desire. During this time I began to practice substituting, also. I love butter!!! I started using butter substitutes and this will be one of my goals for Rocktober. (More about that tomorrow.)
My second goal was to keep moving. Joan and I swim each morning before work and I walked and cycled also. I took one day a week off and it can best be described as a “floating day off.” I’d work it in around my schedule. The more I move the less anxious I am and the less anxious I am the less likely I am to abuse food. I am an emotional and compulsive over eater and I always will be. If I choose to be healthy, wealthy and wise I have to develop strategies to maintain a good balance in my life. Keep moving is one of them. I exercised no more or no less than 30 minutes each day. I give myself an A here.
My third goal was creating at least ten minutes of “quiet time” for myself each day. This goal was the most difficult to work towards. I give myself a C here because I’d get so busy that I’d look at the clock and wonder where the day went. When I took time to meditate for ten minutes each day I found I slept better and had a clearer focus. Taking time to accomplish this is taking time to slay the excuse monster deep inside of me that bleats out things like “But you’re a busy dude, dude.” or “There are only so many hours in a day.” Ten minutes, minimum, that’s all I’m looking for. I didn’t attend the yoga class I’d planned on. Well, let me say I went to one class and saw it as being much more advanced than I was ready for. No worries. When the student is ready the teacher appears.
So let’s see how I did, hey? (Drum roll please!!!) During the month of September I lost 14.4 pounds. For a man that’s not a lot, BUT……………… I don’t feel nervous, anxious or pushed into embracing the “D” word. I feel pretty balanced right now. Tomorrow I’ll share my October goals.
As always thanks for your love. Namaste
Get An Email Alert Each Time JOHNTJ1 Posts