JOHNTJ1   65,473
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One Voice

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I was traveling a better part of last week which meant I had to play the food challenge game. This used to really bother me. I’d get all bent out of shape and mutter nasty invectives about the skinny people who wanted to stop at The All You Can Eat Carb Bar and wash it down with three or four high calorie beers and I just had to sit there. I swear I’d see my tummy grow the minute we walked in the door.

Thursday morning, while I was dressing it dawned on me that I was AS important as the people I sat around the table with and I indeed had my own voice. Maybe it was time I used it for my own good. Us overweight people often have self-esteem issues amongst our luggage. We feel lucky just to be allowed in the room, much less participate in the fun and games. So we sit in the corner, hoping no one sees us there. Slowly but surely we lose our voice. You know the voice, right? It’s the one that allows us to move front and center and assure our basic needs are taken care of. When your self-esteem is really bruised and battered you lose your voice. You rationalize that “you’re being selfish,” or “you don’t want to make any waves.” I’m not talking about an in your face sort of style. I’m talking about a quiet assuredness that knows what’s best for me and you. The more weight we gain , the more false starts we endure, the smaller our voice becomes. We get lost and feel unworthy.

Cold hard fact: No one will look out for you until you begin to look out for yourself. No one will intervene on your behalf but you. Friends, family, co-workers may express concern about your health but no one will intervene. It’s up to me and you. Those thoughts went through my head the other morning as I dressed. I got a bit angry at myself. I am reasonably intelligent. I should have seen this. No worries. I believe God turns a fresh page every morning and because he loves me in a most amazing way he gives me an opportunity to learn from yesterday. I have learned that the best time to begin anything is RIGHT NOW. It’s not next week, next month or next year. I’ve learned that your level of commitment to a new project or behavior will never be stronger than RIGHT NOW.

I met my client in the hotel dining room. He had already hit the omelet bar. His plate was loaded with eggs, three cheeses and every meat known to man. I could hardly see his face from all the steam rising off his plate. No time like the present John. I patiently waited my turn in line and said the following words: “I’d like an egg white omelet with spinach, tomatoes, green peppers and mushroom. No cheese please and could you cook that in cooking spray rather than butter?” He asked if I wanted sausage or bacon. I told him fruit. He told me that would “cost extra.” I told him no worries. I sat down to eat breakfast and my client asked “Not hungry, John?” I could have launched into a speech about healthy eating but instead I just grinned and said “Well I am going to be teaching today so I want to be light on my feet.” He laughed, I laughed and when I went back to my room I did a modified version of the happy dance.
You know how us overweight people bemoan the fact that one bad behavior, one misstep, leads to us sliding down the side of the hill and drowning in a sea of French fries? I do it all the time. I’ll snag a donut on the way out the door and as far as I’m concerned I’ve undone three weeks of good and the rest of the day is a sugar and carb stupor. I might as well give up. You been there? Seems like every fault and flaw pushes front and center and reminds us how big of a failure we really are. Do we look that way on positive behaviors as well? One really healthy decision in the morning leads to a strong foundation for the rest of the day. Fortified with that knowledge, I dusted off my voice and used it for my own benefit at breakfast. I was able to use it confidently the rest of the day. Funny thing though. I had some challenges. Some I navigated successfully, some I didn’t. I never blew it but when faced with a bad or worse choice my self-esteem wasn’t flushed because of it. I knew the next opportunity offered me a chance to make best choices for me. A chance to use my voice

Practice makes perfect. We all have a voice. Wouldn’t it sound amazing your voice and mine, part of a most amazing chorus?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INCH_BY_INCH 8/30/2013 12:30PM

  At least we are starting movement outside the home to ask for healthier food choices. It is not being selfish but rather the better way to take care of ourselves. Feed our body the engine that runs us. That is a fact healthy; natural foods seem to cost more than the cheap processed foods no nutritional value. That's for validating standing up for our voice.

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SILLYHP1953 6/27/2012 1:15PM

    My voice is much smaller than it used to be, but you made me smile, and so far today I have made good choices.

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CLEO27 6/3/2012 11:22AM

  This blog really touched me. I'm the same way, I try to keep to myself thinking, "who wants to talk to the fat girl", but you know what we are all people wether too big or too small or just right. I have just as much right to be liked and loved as anyone other person.

Thanks. Great choices at the buffet. There have been times when I've brought cookies or sweets to work and while everyone else is eating sweets I'm eating fruit.

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REJ7777 4/29/2012 10:44AM

    You started a winning cycle with that 1st smart choice in the morning. And your teaching probably did go better because you ate a *light* breakfast. I do need to find my voice. I tend to be one of those people who hides in a corner when in a group. This was a good blog for me to read!

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MCFITZ2 4/28/2012 8:48PM

    Thank you for sharing this. Staying committed can be tough. You have added a good point to take to heart.

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WENDYDANCER 4/28/2012 3:44PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JKLEMME1 4/27/2012 9:39AM

  Wow - your words built a bridge. Thanks for sharing.

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NASFKAB 4/27/2012 12:22AM

  thanks for sharing

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GEEMAWEST 4/26/2012 10:36PM

    Oops, computer goofed. what I wrote was for your last vlog.
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I love that I can blame the computer. emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/26/2012 10:39:39 PM

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MYSTERY-LADY1 4/26/2012 3:44PM

    emoticon

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DOLLIE6 4/26/2012 10:00AM

    I really enjoyed your blog. Thanks for sharing.
Pat

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BEYOURBEST1 4/26/2012 8:29AM

    You have made good choices. We cannot let ourselves be pushed around by other people's choices and we cannot sideline ourselves, either.
Great blog, thank you for sharing it.

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KLONG8 4/26/2012 12:25AM

    Absolutely right on. Thanks for putting this in words!

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SARS613 4/25/2012 11:24PM

    This is something I always need to hear!!! I often find my voice wavering in the face of more outspoken people when it comes to choosing what to eat. At a recent family event, I was in a way lucky, as a religious obligation prevented me from eating something, but when my husband tried to say he was full, his mother almost slammed in down in front of him, forcing him to eat it! Had that been me, I do not know what I would've done.

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DREENAMT 4/25/2012 8:40PM

    This is emoticon! I am going to remember this story when I am in the same situation.



Comment edited on: 4/25/2012 8:42:41 PM

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BEATRIZ269 4/25/2012 6:50PM

    Always a pleasure to read your blogs. Thank you.

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FRABBIT 4/25/2012 6:24PM

  Great blog. Thanks for sharing. I find that once I do one bad thing I tend to think the day is blown which is crazy thinking. Got off track on Easter but getting back now. Good luck!

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JIBBIE49 4/25/2012 5:22PM

    emoticonLove seeing your blog featured in the Spark mail.

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MARUKI52 4/25/2012 7:43AM

    Thank you for this blog post. You are so right about using your voice or losing it. Even if we, as you found, do not surmount all the challenges facing us every little achievement that we make must be celebrated for being just that. It is also an achievement we can remember and tap into once again knowing that the strategy worked for us. I celebrate with you.


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SHOSHI1432 4/25/2012 12:40AM

    Awesome blog, great writing and speaking from the heart. Love it. I'm new on SP and am still figuring out whats going on. Loved your writing, thank you for sharing.

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CURVYELVIESAYS 4/24/2012 10:59PM

    You make some valid points as usual. Thank you.

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LOWFATFOODIE 4/24/2012 8:58PM

    great post

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SCBAGRL09 4/24/2012 6:45PM

    I had to travel for work last week and faced a lot of the same challenges. The worst is when they bring lunch in and you have very limited options. Some days the only defense was a cliff bar and lots of willpower!

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MARYM1962 4/24/2012 4:08PM

  this is the third blog of yours I have read - you are an amazing man! I really enjoy your words of wisdom - YES you see things from a wonderful point of view and now I am trying to see things as you do and get some motavation in my life - THANK YOU

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LESSOFPMCD 4/24/2012 1:58PM

    Great blog! You are so right - we are the ones in charge of ourselves - our decisions - our reactions.

We have to speak up for ourselves.

I think you are right - if you make that first decision in the morning - the one that you know is the right one - you will continue to make the right ones for the rest of the day.

It is one day at a time - or even moreso - one decision at a time. Looking at the whole day - week - month etc can be overwhelming and cause you to maybe think you can't do it. But if you are only looking at the here and now - the one decision you are facing at that time it seems so much easier.

Like they say - many small steps in a long journey - just need to equate that to many small decisions in a lifetime of being healthier!



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AVANDREA_ 4/24/2012 1:54PM

    Wow, your words hit the nail on the head for me. Yes, no one but me can make the choices when it comes to foods and exercise. When faced with pizza loaded up with meats, and no other option offered, instead of shrugging my shoulders and scarfing down three or four slices, its time to think about portion control, and plan the remainder of the day to minimize the damage done. One meal may slow the weight loss for a day or so, but it will not stop it so long as I continue to make the most healthy choices. Thank you for posting this!!

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CONIFERA 4/24/2012 12:46PM

    I love this little vignette -- how you asserted yourself in a "real world" complex setting. In your case, the mixture of travelling, an unfamiliar hotel, a professional relationship where you want to keep things cordial and smooth. And you finessed it, with skill and grace. This takes practice to execute well! That's a wonderful example the rest of us can call up in our heads. Thank you for sharing this.
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Comment edited on: 4/24/2012 12:46:37 PM

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JUJIFRUIT 4/24/2012 11:53AM

    Thanks for sharing! This really resonated with me. I read this yesterday and then spent the whole day telling myself, "I have a voice. I am worth making waves. I can make different choices than others without being bitter. I HAVE A VOICE!!" This may be my new mantra for a few days. We can do this!


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BIGDOG1969 4/24/2012 11:23AM

    You write so well and your messages are always strong. Thanks for your view and keep the faith!

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WARMSTRONG2 4/24/2012 11:17AM

  Thanks for ideas and encouragement in my journey.

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SNOWANGELDIVA 4/24/2012 10:16AM

    It's like muscle; use it or lose it. Way to flex! You're a strong man, John!
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DENISE223 4/24/2012 10:07AM

    I've just become aware of your blogs John and I am so very grateful : ) !
Your blogs always touch a chord in my heart and for that I thank you.

Thank you for sharing all that you do.

Peace, love, good health & happiness!

May God bless you and yours,
Denise

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JUJU2168 4/24/2012 10:04AM

  Good for you !:)) emoticon

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SPARKL3 4/24/2012 9:54AM

    You have a real talent for being able to articulate the things I try so hard to say. Thank you!

After reading today's blog (from Tues. the 24th), my goal for the day will be to use my voice to speak up for myself and make good, healthy choices. "By an inch..."

We can do this!!

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LISADEVLIN1 4/24/2012 9:32AM

  Wow, I need this!!! Thank you John. emoticon

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PR.ANNIE 4/24/2012 9:13AM

  Beautifully written. I loved everything you had to say---. I am challenged by the "all or nothing attitude" and your - the best time to begin is right now- is hugely inspirational. Everyday is Day 1 when changing old habits and really taking on the challenge of loving ourself and adding to our self esteem stockpile!!! I have an image in my head of each positive choice being a new packet of fireworks. Some days I will add a little, sometimes a lot- but regularly stockpiling enough to have a magnificent, award winning, fireworks shows of celebration.... of Me and my daily choices!

Anne



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TLYNNE125 4/24/2012 9:11AM

    what a great way to start my day...so often those words are right there in my head but I don't give them a voice either...thanks for the inspiration emoticon

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DEEDLEDEE21 4/24/2012 9:01AM

    Thank you for sharing! That's exactly what I needed to hear today.

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BLOOMING52 4/24/2012 8:43AM

    emoticon

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INBRAZILFORNOW 4/24/2012 7:56AM

    I will find my voice....thank you for this courage.


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REGILIEH 4/24/2012 7:20AM

    You need to write your own column for a newspaper!

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DMF2012 4/24/2012 6:52AM

    Well put

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CAM2438 4/24/2012 6:32AM

    Thank-you for such a great blog!

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MEDDYPEDDY 4/24/2012 1:24AM

    Could not have said it better myself, thank you!

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MARYJEANSL 4/24/2012 12:26AM

  Very, very well said!

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DRAMAJLN 4/24/2012 12:16AM

    Great point: When we make one bad decision we think we just fell off a cliff and therefore make bad decisions for the rest of the day (or weekend, or trip). But we don't see it the same way when we make a good decision. Maybe we can look on the good decisions as a conveyor belt, continuing to take us up more and more easily as we go. That's certainly how it seems to me. After I have made one good decision, it's easier to make the good decision the next time.

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FLYBABYRD 4/23/2012 11:50PM

    Wow...that post sure put a positive spin on my day. You are an inspiration, John. Thank you for telling it like it is! Super day to you tomorrow! emoticon

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TUBLADY 4/23/2012 11:28PM

    Wonderful enthralling blog.
Thank you for reminding us about our "voice".
Congrats to you for your accomplishments.
Stay positive and believe in yourself.
Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLIMLILA 4/23/2012 10:05PM

    Incredible blog! I loved it! You sure hit the nail on the head... I have lived and re-lived the exact situation you wrote about. And in reverse, what I always try to do when life is out of control, is take control of my eating... I wonder why!!! Continued success on your journey, and hope to hear you VOICE lots and lots... and even better if I could hear my own voice a lot more too!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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22CHUNKY 4/23/2012 9:57PM

    This is the first thing I have read on Spark People is a loooong time, and I really needed to "hear" your voice. I have gotten on and fallen off the wagon so many time I can not count. However, lately, my son have adopted the "healthy living" pattern, and I have been encouraged to try once again. His decision has nothing to do with weight. Instead, he has decided to overcome acid reflux and the inclination to fall victim to diabetes...which seems to be prevalent in his Dad's family. With him eating healthy, it is much easier for me to cook and eat the same. Hopefully, this will be the support system in our home I need.
Congratulations to you for your blog, as well as your bold approach to life.

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Thanks To Each and All Of You

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I honestly do try to respond to all the blog comments, Spark Mails and Goodies I receive from all of you very wonderful people. In all honesty after a bit I get overwhelmed and my responses become a bit mechanical and from rote. If you have added me as your friend: THANK YOU. If you took the time to comment on my blogs: THANK YOU. If you took the time to send a Goodie with an encouraging note: THANK YOU. I am quite capable of writing forever and ever, on how much I appreciate your love and support. I will simply repeat those two words from my heart and spoken sincerely.

“Thank You”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 6/27/2012 1:10PM

    I'm behind again reading your blogs. Every time I catch up I say it will not happen again, but somehow it does. Your blogs might be what keeps me coming back. So, thank you!

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NASFKAB 4/27/2012 12:20AM

  great reading your thought provikinh blogs

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BLUECOUGAR54494 4/24/2012 9:31AM

    As stated by other members ....THANK YOU John. You are truley gifted in the art of putting thought into printed/typed form. Your ability to be an inspiration to us all is true gift. Keep up the great blogging!!!!!!!

Comment edited on: 4/24/2012 9:33:04 AM

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JENNAAW 4/22/2012 4:19PM

    What an enjoyable blog entry to read! I could almost feel your triumph as you returned to your room. Up until recently, I would make your friend seem like small potatoes at the omelet bar because I would call what he had "appetizers". I have been slowly learning tricks to succeed at dealing with buffet type situations. A few months ago I went on a cruise ship that had nonstop buffet opportunites. I gained one pound, not ten like the cruise I went on before. It is going to take time for me, but I am progressing.

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CARTOONB 4/20/2012 9:53PM

    You're welcome. I'm here for you! emoticon

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MKPRINCESS007 4/20/2012 9:05PM

    No, THANK YOU! You are truly a blessing how you share so freely of yourself.

Have a great weekend,

Karen

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EVWINGS 4/19/2012 9:22PM

    The same to you, John for bringing all of us such joy with your positive attitude!!

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CIVIAV 4/19/2012 5:30PM

    I really hear you John...

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TIGGERRD 4/19/2012 4:46PM

    So sincere. You're welcome!

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PGNBRI 4/19/2012 11:19AM

    emoticon

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GINA180847 4/19/2012 10:28AM

    No John, THANK YOU! Your blogs give me lots to think about and causing the cogs and wheels to turn burns calories.

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ZURDTA- 4/19/2012 10:03AM

    No worries John, just glad to read your very thoughtful blogs.

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REJ7777 4/19/2012 7:29AM

    You're very welcome! emoticon

I agree with you. I do respond to a few comments on my blogs and those who send goodies. But, if I spend too much time sitting at my computer, Sparking, I won't have time do be physically active. And my tendency is to do just that. I can identify with what you wrote and want to thank you for writing this blog. I feel like *stealing* it, which I may. I want the people who support me to know how very much they're so very appreciated!

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EMTFF376 4/18/2012 9:16PM

    Thanks to you too John! :)

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NEWMOM20121 4/18/2012 7:47PM

    Thank you, loved the blog.

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CLOVER2 4/18/2012 5:50PM

    You are so very welcome. And I can't ever really thank you enough for your wisdom that you share with us!
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ANATASHIKI 4/18/2012 5:16PM

    lol , don't forget to live your life outside of sparkpeople too emoticon

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NEETERB 4/18/2012 5:03PM

    Every time I read one of your blogs, it is EXACTLY what I need to hear at that very moment. You speak from the heart and you speak the truth. Thank you!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/18/2012 4:57PM

    You're welcome.

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CAROLJ35 4/18/2012 4:46PM

    I can see you are one special person!!! THANKS!!!

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THEFLORIDAFAIRY 4/18/2012 3:43PM

    Your welcome! emoticon

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FITBODME 4/18/2012 3:42PM

    You're welcome and thank you! I didn't bring my lunch to work today and was having a difficult time deciding where/what to eat...I settled for a small Mexican restaurant for Chicken Tortilla Soup, tastes and looks very homemade.
My co-workers ordered a pizza and I didn't eat a slice....so again THANK YOU!

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NEWTINK 4/18/2012 3:26PM

    The mere fact that you took the time to write this follow up blog is exactly the reason that we all look up to you ... have a great day emoticon

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 4/18/2012 3:18PM

    emoticon
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VICKI-B--56 4/18/2012 3:13PM

  You are always so encouraging John.
THANK YOU for being you! emoticon emoticon

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WILDHONEYPIE1 4/18/2012 2:58PM

    We see all the love you get (equal to the love you give) here. I don't think anyone could be offended by lack of personal response. I just appreciate hearing what you have to say. emoticon

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GIRANIMAL 4/18/2012 2:58PM

    emoticon

And, you're welcome. emoticon

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The No Fry Zone

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Everyone has them. They are trigger foods. Everyone around you can eat as much of it as they want and not gain a single solitary ounce. You and I, we put on five pounds just thinking about how good they taste. Worse yet, they lead us to other “less than positive behaviors.” Those who hold us dear find us hunched up in a corner at three am devouring a chocolate cake and hear a small voice crying “I can’t take it anymore!!!” Yeah I exaggerate and yeah this is often a topic we overweight folks shy away from. It’s the “A” word, addiction. We don’t like being thought of as addicts. It conjures up a picture in our minds that causes us to shake our heads really hard and utter that foolish mantra about moderation. We know that’s an excuse. There are some foods you or I can’t eat. It’s ok to be addicted to your favorite college basketball team, to live and breathe every step they take, every word they utter and every small action. We festoon ourselves in team colors buy books, magazines, apparel and paint our faces. Some of us sit in frigid temperatures at football games, shirtless, with our team colors slathered on our torso. We grin, and shrug our shoulders and say “we are addicted to…….”

When it comes to food, well there is a modicum of shame involved. As I prepared to write today it dawned on me that I wouldn’t suggest a drink every now and then to an alcoholic. Imagine telling someone with an addiction to prescription drugs that a little pain medication every now and then wouldn’t really hurt. It’s unthinkable. But when it comes to food and it comes to us, well we just would rather rationalize and stay in close touch with others who feel the same way. Some of us have that one food that pushes us over the edge. . Yours may be different than mine are but there is a food or foods we just shouldn’t eat if we want to stay healthy. We can’t have a “little bit.” They cause us to come unwound. We struggle to “Just Say No!!”

The food that triggers my massive addiction to a whole host of other foods is French fries. Yeah, you read that right, French fries. I can take or leave mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, even potato chips, but tempt me with a plate of fries and it’s all over. There are others. Diet soda deserves a really wide berth on my radar too. It triggers the proverbial vision of sugar plums. When I first joined Spark I lost close to 80 pounds. Sad to say I’ve put close to 70 pounds back on. I went back and reviewed my food journals and saw what I was eating when I was living healthy. There were no fries, no Cokes, no cookies. Lottsa fruit, lottsa veggies and meat three times per week. Then one day I was in a rush, Mc Donald’s beckoned I ordered some fries with a fish sandwich and the rest of my downhill slide came quickly as I made excuses for everything but the real issue. My appetite slowly evolved back to a lot of bad habits. I stopped listening to some of you. I regained my weight. It’s not rocket science.

So I sit here today a bit wiser. I’ve instituted my own personal “No Fry Zone.” I have a laminated list of foods in my wallet that will get me in trouble. When I get ready to eat I pull them out and review them and compare them against what’s in front of me. Part of my addiction comes from being unable to say “no.” I can create all sorts of excuses why I shouldn’t hurt someone else’s feelings.
In the end, it’s how much I value myself and my health and who I choose to hang around with. This blog may not be popular with some people. I’ve found that when you hit a nerve people recoil and defend. I know I do. As I walk away this morning, headed for work I know one thing

I am worth it
I deserve it
I am who I hang around with


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADIA 12/25/2012 12:49PM

    You helped me realize what triger foods I should avoid, I already have marked them.
Thanks

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SHARIPAM 7/1/2012 6:25AM

  My trigger food, believe it or not, is roasted garlic hummus. That stuff is fabulous on just about anything!

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SILLYHP1953 6/27/2012 1:08PM

    I've compared myself to an alcoholic or drug addict for years...I know I'm addicted to food, some foods, though I can overeat on the best of foods. If we can't be honest with ourselves and others, then what the heck are we doing here? I had some french fries last night, but they're not my "drug" of choice and I didn't finish them or my plate, though I was overfull. I'm doing better now, more aware, more ready to say that yes, I am worth it.

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FERFEY02 5/6/2012 10:39AM

    Thanks for this blog. I needed it.

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FIT2BETHIN 4/28/2012 5:43AM

    Thank you for saying what experts WON'T say: food addiction! When you look at your trigger foods like an alcoholic would alcohol, it takes on a whole new meaning. I love baked goodness in any shape or form. And eating anything sweet and baked will send me spiraling down the wrong path! Now that I've read your blog, I will have to re-think my relationship with trigger foods...and the "eating them in moderation" theory. Because that just doesn't work for me! Thank you!
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NASFKAB 4/27/2012 12:17AM

  great thanks

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MARGOT814 4/26/2012 7:50AM

    That is so true.I was an addict,or maybe should I say, an addict of HOT CHEETOS.for many months all I had for dinner was a big bag of hot cheetos, while of course watching TV.then after six months,my craving stopped just simply I decided to go to sleep early n stopped watching TV at night.I was sober for good 5 months then I will crave and eat full bag for three consecutive nights n then will stop.I can't do moderation, its either I have it ALL or Don't have it.now it become my comfort food , tired, bored, then I have it with no limit.don't tell me of weight loss,gain back, been there, done that.its like am on diet, weight obsessed from the day I was born, its a lifetime battle.so hot Cheetos will always be part of my life, being on heavy size or not.

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ANDYGIRL1219 4/26/2012 12:36AM

  Thanking you for sharing...........and for your honesty. emoticon

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LLINDY65 4/24/2012 11:48AM

    I enjoy reading your posts.... for me when my daughter leaves leftover bbq what was one of my most fav's..... I found them and devoured the rest of her sandwich....

Later I asked her to please put it down on the bottom shelf of the fridge and mark her name on the package ( I will stay out of it)... she had left it out on the counter for me to clean up after, being the irresponsible 13 year old that she is..... not her fault I ate it, but it would have helped me not to have it to deal with since it was her take out.

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HIKESHAPPY 4/23/2012 12:27PM

    Wow. Not only because what you say is true. I suppose I need to get real with myself (again!) and get away from Cokes - that's my addiction (she says as she has one sitting next to the computer right now).

Thank you, as well, for sharing your story of losing then gaining most of it back. That's where I am. I lost 40 pounds (of the 140 I needed to lose). I was so happy and proud of myself. Then I had a few things change in my life, and I lost sight of doing those things I was doing - I went back so quickly to all my old habits, and 30 of those pounds are back on. I now have gotten over my major anger at myself for it (that took several months). I just have to figure out how to fit in healthy habits with where I find myself now, which is a different set of circumstances around me when I lost the 40. Most days I just don't feel up to it, but I know that it's up to me.

Thanks again for sharing and inspiring!

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TOPFORM1 4/23/2012 10:11AM

  You're right on with this.

I tried for years to 'eat everything in moderation' as I was told by 'the experts' in nutrition. It doesn't work for me.

Sweets are my trigger food, as in processed foods with lots of added sugar (cookies, candy, ice cream, certain cereals, etc.) Once I eat one bite of that stuff, it can take me days, weeks, even months to get back on track.

Food addiction is real and has both psychological and physical components.

Thanks for a great post! Good luck!

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TAGSUIT2 4/23/2012 9:06AM

    It's a mind over matter, anything you eat it comes with moderation, no joke. Once you start eating fried foods the smell get addicted.

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IDAPACHINSKY 4/23/2012 7:57AM

  we cut out potato chips with our lunches. The bag would stay open and everyone would grab a handful.
now they are gone and have to say, weight loss is happening for all of us.
Had a party and went to costco, got a big bag for the super bowl. Just found it in the pantry. Still full. Threw it out.
It's like eating instant sugar and salt.
Now we get 10 grapes with our lunches. small changes, big results

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SPARKL3 4/23/2012 6:15AM

    I have been trying to incorporate my trigger foods into my food plan, but it always leads to a binge. After reading your blog, I will put those thoughts aside (and put those foods aside and "just say no!").

Great advice!! emoticon

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DURANGOREDDOG 4/23/2012 2:32AM

    Oh man. Girl Scout cookies are my trigger food of the day.

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THISTIMEMYWAY 4/23/2012 12:13AM

    I am going to the kitchen now and putting all chocolate in a give away bag and putting it at the door to take away tomorrow while I am still feeling sick from eating too much today. It's midnight and I have been eating chocolate all day, a little bit here, a little bit there. I just got up because I couldn't sleep from feeling nauseous. I was going to write that I will get of the chocolate tomorrow but tomorrow doesn't come, I would just end up getting rid of it by eating it!
So I have to admit that I may be addicted to chocolate- physically, psychologically, emotionally...whatever, I just know that a little is never enough. So I will make my house a
No chocolate zone!
Now, here I go! emoticon

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STREO2004 4/22/2012 12:03PM

  Great info & blog

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JIBBIE49 4/22/2012 7:14AM

    emoticon

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LINKYSD 4/22/2012 7:10AM

    Loved your blog. There is so much truth to it. I have more of a problem with salt. That's kind of hard to avoid, but I do it as much as possible. Hang in there and hope you are able to shed those regained pounds.

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HEALTHIERKEN 4/21/2012 9:14PM

    Gooey, sugary, creamy restaurant desserts. Eat one and there goes my eating plan for the next week at least. Can't say no to anything once I have that restaurant dessert : (

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INCH_BY_INCH 4/21/2012 3:36PM

  Those nasty trigger foods....although having a gallbadder attack last summer helped to put things in perceptive. One of the outcomes of that attack is fried foods, pastas, and breads still makes me pretty sick. Although last night when the family went out to dinner...in our area fish frys are staple on Friday nights. I did pinch off two bites of bread and had to put aside. I pinched a french fry off my son's plate and that was enough. I took a fried cheese curd off my daughter's plate. I was satisfied with just my two bite minumim. So I ate my steamed baked salmon with tomatoes, pickles, and lettuce.
It was a painful process to deal with my addiction to fried foods and breads. I have given up soda for over a year now. That was a hard one too. I loved the bubbles in the soda or the carbonation water drinks.....they too were adding more to me than I needed to be.
For me maybe that was the wake up call I had to endure. It doesn't take much of trumpet horn to remind me now...don't go back down that road. So far the addiction is being waned just to sit and smell it or deal with the two bite blessing. Thank you for the great posts. I see I'm not the only one who deals with this....

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SHIRE33 4/21/2012 11:50AM

    French fries, locally-made potato chips, kettle-cooked potato chips, baked potatoes slathered in butter, thin sliced potatoes fried in oil . . . Ohhhh, yes. Potatoes are a huge temptation for me. I've lost 69 pounds, and I think I've had a baked potato about half a dozen times, fries about the same, and a couple of times I sliced and cooked ONE potato for breakfast. So, maybe once a month or so. So far, this is working for me, but if it didn't, I'd have to go "cold potato" and Just Say No. Once I even picked up a 10-pound bag of potatoes in the grocery store and thought long and hard about how that'd be to carry around again -- seven times 10. It helped. Thanks for sharing your experience. It's nice not to be alone in this.



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SUPERSYLPH 4/21/2012 11:36AM

    Great Blog!

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TEXASLYNN 4/21/2012 10:59AM

    Oh John, I love taters! Any kind of tater but you are so right that my favorite food in the world is homemade fried taters - with a thin, crispy seasoned flour coating and gobs of sea salt sprinkled on while they are still hot from the grease, served with A-1 Sauce for dipping. If I were on Death Row, that is what I would want for my last meal. Fortunately, I've made it to the point where I only break down for an indulgence once or twice a year.

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MARITIMER3 4/21/2012 10:50AM

    potato chips - once they're open I can't stay away from them. If it weren't for DH, I'd never buy them.

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IMEMINE1 4/21/2012 9:13AM

    Yes, french fries and cheese.
My husband and I are going from vegetarian to vegan but occasionally if we eat out it is usually pizza. That darn cheese.
French fries and pizza are definately mine.
Great blog.

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TREESA57 4/21/2012 7:33AM

    This is so true for me too. I have to limit all carbs including fruits like pears with a high carb count. They just pack the pounds on me. I love them so they are my no fry zone. Thanks for the idea of a laminated card, I need it in my car.

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GUNNSGIRL91303 4/21/2012 2:02AM

    I love your idea of the laminated card of forbidden foods! As Harry Potter would say, Brilliant!

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CHANGING4ME49 4/21/2012 12:24AM

    Great blog! Thanks for sharing. It definitely hit close to home with me lately. Need to laminate my own No Fly Zone list and fast!

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ASLANSCUB 4/20/2012 11:35PM

    I'll have to think about what my trigger foods are. Probably things with sugar.

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GRACEISENUF 4/20/2012 11:06PM

    emoticon........................ does me in every time

"No cone zone for me".


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CARTOONB 4/20/2012 9:52PM

    Mmmmm.....French fries! Love 'Em! Trying to think what my trigger food is. Can't think of one that will cause me to eat too much or send me on a downward spiral. I'm sure it exists, but I'm pleasantly full right now, so nothing comes to mind. I'll go eat until I think of it. Tee hee. Good luck with your fry-free zone!

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CRYDEN321 4/20/2012 9:17PM

    Thank you for exposing the truth!! My gateway foods are ice cream and chocolate icing. If they are in the kitchen, I am constantly thinking about them and waiting for the opportunity to sneak a bite...and once I do, I can't resist another!! Thanks for sharing
emoticon

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MKPRINCESS007 4/20/2012 9:03PM

    Thanks for sharing this, John. I can relate. Mine are chocolate and potato chips. I struggle with these items on probably a daily basis. I crave sweet after my healthy meal, and am working to make sure I eat fruit or chew gum or mints to replace wanting a piece of chocolate or candy.

Life is always going to be a challenge for me and my weigh. I am sure of it. But, I won't let that stop me. I will work at it every day, probably forever. Some days might be stellar but doing my best most days is what matters.

I know you are with me on this journey, and I couldn't be happier to have someone in my corner who truly understands.

Luv ya, John!
Karen


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SOLNISHKO777 4/20/2012 8:47PM

  I just wanted to say how in time your blog found me. I was sitting here board and hungry about to order pizza to reward myself for being good. Thank you so much for writing it! We are truly addicted to certain foods. Just try to stay away as much as possible! Thank you again!


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SABLENESS 4/20/2012 8:31PM

    Would you believe jalapeno almonds? Great blog!

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SAL2525 4/20/2012 7:15PM

    WOW Thanks for writing this! I hear the 3 am call often and sometimes I have the strength to ignore it but not always! Thanks for reminding me I am worth it!

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LULUTYM 4/20/2012 6:37PM

    I really identify with what you are saying. I too fool myself and lie to myself self when I want to indulge. The indulgence might be ok if it only happened once a week. Once I start on my forbidden food, I will be off the healthy lifestyle plan for at least a week. A lot of damage can be done in a week.

I really want off the hamster wheel. So every night before I go to sleep I recite this quote, "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a soft voice that says, tomorrow I will try again".

I, like you, have trigger foods that I just can't, at this point, have in my life. Food addictions are not different than other addictions. Deciding to eat unhealthy for me is like the recovering alcoholic deciding whether to take that first drink after being sober for a while. Each day is a series of choices with consequences good or bad. Each one of us has to decide every day what choices we will make to stay healthy.

emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/20/2012 6:43:38 PM

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EXERTIGER 4/20/2012 5:58PM

    I'm a sugar addict. I especially love pie. I also gave up diet pop almost a month ago. I've done really well, but the other day I wanted one like a drug addict wants a fix when things go a little wrong. I didn't get one, but I was surprised at how hard it was.

I especially liked what you said about how you wouldn't offer alcohol to an alcoholic and tell them just a little would be all right. That happens to me so much.

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THINNYGINNY 4/20/2012 5:48PM

    I think you are right - for some of us there are foods we cannot or will not control ourselves around - so duh - avoiding them is the best thing to do in order to live a healthy, happy life. I am that way with sugar and flour. It amazes me how many people want to argue with me about not giving any food groups up. But - um - sugar is not a food group!!! I am happier, lighter and more satisfied with my eating when i am not eating sugar/flour. If it works - stick with it. Like this blog a lot - I like honesty - even if others don't!

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CHERYLSBUTT 4/20/2012 5:10PM

    I love french fries; I have learned to enjoy them every once in a while and
my size is small. This is a splurge, so it is McDonald's or bust!

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WENDENANNIE 4/20/2012 4:43PM

    Amen John! You always hear the experts say "everything in moderation", but the sad truth is that for some of us, there are just some foods we have to learn to live without...period. These foods bring out the monsters in the closet! For me, french fries and popcorn reincarnate those monsters, so I avoid them at all costs. I am glad to hear that someone else has those same issues...now I won't feel so guilty when the experts say that we shouldn't avoid any one thing in our diets, just eat less and less often.....that simply doesn't work for some of us.

emoticon for sharing your insights, Spark Friend!

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SARS613 4/20/2012 3:19PM

    Amen. Having the courage to constantly remind yourself of what those problem foods are, and having that list to look at is incredible.

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GRENADAGIRL73 4/20/2012 2:05PM

    Thank you so much for having the courage to wrie this blog! I totally idenify and claim addiction to certain foods too. Now that I am not eating them and I know that I should never eat them, I am a lot more free and happier to focus on the foods that are within my food plan.

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QUIKSYLVER 4/20/2012 1:17PM

    emoticon

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HEALTHYSLIM2 4/20/2012 1:16PM

    LOVE THIS BLOG!
I am worth it
I deserve it
I am who I hang around with

Thanks you for inspiring me (and probably countless others) today!!
emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KANOE10 4/20/2012 1:10PM

    You are totally right..Stay away from the trigger foods. You can start eating them oh so quickly and regain.

Good blog. You can do it! emoticon

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PETESKI24 4/20/2012 1:06PM

    emoticon

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AKIMA06 4/20/2012 11:59AM

  I have to say that sugar is my trigger food. There are some kinds of sugar or candy that I don't like but for the most part I do and I will partake if it is around.

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CHATERJOY 4/20/2012 11:39AM

    This blog came at the right time for me. I am really trying to re-think my "relationship" with food. I will go along doing great and then I will think I can bring back in my trigger foods and be able to control myself ....WRONG!!! It just doesn't work for me. I cannot handle some foods. Period. Great blog.

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

The Thorn Beneath The Rose

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Our oldest daughter called last night and would I give her a ride to work today? As we drove she asked if I minded stopping at McDonalds. “Its tax relief day and sausage biscuits are only fifty nine cents!!!” I looked over at her for a moment and responded; “…..And about four hundred thirty calories.” She smiled. “Yeah but dad they are only fifty nine cents!!!” There is a line in one of my favorite movies, O Brother Where Art Thou that says “It’s a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.” My daughter’s intentions were pure and good. I gave her a ride to work; she was going to buy me breakfast, her way of thanking me. It would have been really easy to accept her logic and later today when I tallied my calories use her as a convenient foil. I mean isn’t making her sure her feelings aren’t hurt much more important than the nutritional value of my breakfast? I am not sure where we draw the line in the sand. I quit smoking seven years ago this week. I promised myself I wouldn’t be “one of those people,” and I’m not. If my health is as important as I claim, then there has to come a point in time where I truly believe I deserve the success that waits around the bend for me because I’m worth the effort I put into myself. Couched in all that sweetness, like a thorn next to a beautiful rose, is the nasty realization that I have to be accountable for my actions. You can love me half to death but in the long run I choose what goes in my mouth.

If this were easy ANYONE could do it. You and I aren’t anyone, we are amazing someone’s who mustered up the courage to walk this journey and sometimes fight the fight that is so difficult. I love sausage biscuits!!! Yes, I know one small slip or miss-step wouldn’t have been the end of the world but where is that definitive line in my life I have to draw and begin to get healthy? It’s never easy, you and I know that. But here at Spark we have a support system in place to guide us. It’s up to us to take advantage of the opportunity. Is this an amazing tool I can utilize to help me achieve and maintain a healthy balance in my life or is it a social networking sight for people with weight and health issues? Maybe it is both. I sure do enjoy the love and support I get from many of you and I am closer to some of you than I am some people in my non- virtual life. That’s all well and good, but why do I log in here every morning?

I didn’t eat the sausage biscuit. Instead, I let her buy me a large un -sweet iced tea. Yeah I know it’s got caffeine in it but no more so than a cup of coffee. I took it home and drank it while I ate my yogurt and banana. Everyone was happy. My very dear non-biological younger sister gave me a really cool Christmas present. It is a daily calendar from Hay House. As I sat down to write this morning and I tore off yesterday’s inspiration I was greeted with this message: “I recognize my body as a wondrous machine, and I feel privileged to live in it.”

Yeah, accountability is often that prickly thorn that sticks deep and causes us much pain. Hidden behind the rose of goals and nice ideas it reminds us that this journey can be arduous at times. Take consolation in the fact that you are indeed WORTH every painful decision you have to make, and you DESERVE all the praise you give yourself when you make the best decision for you. That is one decision no one can make for any of us and it sure feels good when we make the right one. Reaching out goals is like building a tower. With each success we reach higher and the building itself gets stronger.

If ya need me……….. I’m here.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWDESERTLOVER 5/4/2012 8:51AM

    Great blog! We have to take personal responsibility for our actions, but having this wonderful group of people to support us and cheer us on sure helps. Good for you for making your decision and sticking to it. Also, congrats on your seven year anniversary of being smoke free. I myself quit smoking almost 10 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Thanks for sharing this.

Cindy emoticon

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KLMINDA 5/3/2012 3:17PM

    "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I was ready and there you were! Thanks for taking the time to teach your wisdom!

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MICHELLE_391 5/2/2012 10:44PM

    I'm so glad this post was featured in the April newsletter, or I don't think I'd have found it. "You can love me half to death but in the long run I choose what goes in my mouth. " This sentence really resonated with me. Life is all about choices and choosing health over everything only makes life more enjoyable.

I hope your daughter understood, and that she learns from your example. I know I did!

emoticon

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PATIENTSAM 5/2/2012 9:28PM

    What a wonderful reminder! And what a good choice to have the tea instead of the biscuit! Thanks for sharing!

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_CYNDY55_ 5/2/2012 9:01PM

    emoticon
emoticon

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CHRISFROMCT 5/2/2012 8:23PM

    Thanks for sharing a terrific example of good choice making; nice job!

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JPANNELL0 5/2/2012 2:17PM

    Well written, thanks so much!

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VIENNA61 5/2/2012 1:47PM

    Thanks for sharing. It is all those decisions, which each seem "little," but aren't.

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HHB4181 5/2/2012 11:34AM

    emoticon

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PAJBOR 5/2/2012 10:38AM

  what a wonderful writer, to make the everyday decisions we must make, sound so courageous

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JIBBIE49 5/2/2012 10:25AM

    emoticonWonderful to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail. WHat an honor.

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BEWITCHING66 5/2/2012 8:49AM

    Its all the little decisions we make everyday that define who we are and what we represent! Good for you!

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WALKNLOVE 5/2/2012 6:27AM

    Congrats John on your "spark" fame as a writer! YOU SOOOOOOO DESERVE THIS!!!! Keep writing and we will keep reading! God has given you an amazing gift as a writer....and one day, I think you are going to write a book! And when you do, please let me know. I'll be one of the first in line to buy it! (Oh, and can I have it autographed? ;) emoticon

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HELOVESME4 4/25/2012 2:33AM

  I love your quote "“I recognize my body as a wondrous machine, and I feel privileged to live in it" and plan to post it to be able to see often!

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SUZIEMAH1 4/24/2012 2:37PM

    I really liked your blog..and you are right, we choose what we put in our mouths..Keep doing what you are doing! emoticon

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NOLAZYBUTT110 4/24/2012 7:45AM

    Lovely Blog and picturesque! I am sure your daughter gleamed some lessons from your share of modeling by helathy actions! GREAT going! Mighty nice of you to share! susana

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 4/24/2012 1:15AM

    Love it and love what you taught your daughter. It is our choice.

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SKINNYBAKERGIRL 4/23/2012 10:46PM

  emoticon

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GOLFLADY11 4/23/2012 2:44PM

    Very well written and meaningful blog; motivational! emoticon emoticon

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SCHNEBL 4/23/2012 2:37PM

    Again......I am inspired by you and will take your words to heart. I AM worth it!

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HIKESHAPPY 4/23/2012 12:09PM

    I navigated here from seeing your One Voice blog on the popular blogs today (I need a bit of inspiration today:-). Thank you for sharing both blogs with us - with me:-) I could so feel the One Voice blog - I grew up in a household where I was to be seen and not heard (no voice) and as an adult, my weight getting higher and higher has taken away what I felt like my right to have a voice. This blog about the Thorn hits home, too, and fits in so well with One Voice. I have the choice of what I eat, even if it's on sale, even if someone else is buying, even if I've already paid for it and know I should throw half of it away. It's so easy to just go along with my low self-esteem (reference One Voice) and give in, because I don't deserve it anyway, do I?

Thank you for helping me to be empowered with my own voice to make my own decisions of what is important to me.

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MELLISOND 4/23/2012 10:04AM

    I kept your blog and copied it so I can refer to it again. Thank you for expressing important truths in such a memorable way.

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KRKNOCKS 4/23/2012 8:40AM

  Great blog. Thanks for sharing.

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MADMARE 4/22/2012 6:53PM

    A very thoughtful and well- written post. Thank you for the inspiration.

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BIGDAKOTA 4/22/2012 12:55PM

    Way to go!! Nice blog also!!

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HEALTHIERKEN 4/22/2012 11:06AM

    Good analogy, good blog, and good on ya for your nimble dodging of the thorn. I like to think I would have made a similar choice, but on a given day, in given circumstances, very likely I would not have been so dedicated . . .
emoticon

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LADY_DEE_25 4/21/2012 9:49PM

    Can't say I would have done the same. People having the food I love in front of me, is one of my biggest weaknesses. Sometimes I can say no and sometime I can't. I like your post and the rose idea. It is very true, we are accountable to ourselves.

emoticon for the encouragement. emoticon

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CORINA-MOMOF4 4/21/2012 8:24PM

    WTG!

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KNEWMETODAY 4/21/2012 3:14PM

    Well said. I particularly like the analogy!

Kathy emoticon

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SERASARA 4/21/2012 1:54PM

  emoticon

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TDONOVAN41 4/21/2012 11:27AM

    emoticon

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SUPERSYLPH 4/21/2012 10:47AM

    Great blog! I need to do things like this more often! Either "no thank you" or find something small and not as bad for me. lol

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JIBBIE49 4/21/2012 9:38AM

    emoticonWhat an honor to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail. You certainly are an inspiration to others! They will continue to watch you for guidance. emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 4/21/2012 7:49AM

    Some other choices could have been their fruit and oatmeal, fruit parfait yogurt or small smoothie. Although, we do not go to fast foods places often, WE DO GO! So, I learned to let the family have what they want and I manages with the best healthy choice the fast food place offers, even if it is not that healthy!



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SEAJESS 4/20/2012 2:59PM

    EXCELLENT! Thank you for inspiring me in one of my toughest challenge areas. Yes, it is possible to be kind and considerate of others without abandoning self-care. Keep on shining your light!

emoticon

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SLUDERCATS 4/20/2012 12:44PM

    Congratulations on sticking to your goals by choosing not to eat the biscuit. Be proud of yourself!!

Gayle

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TUBLADY 4/20/2012 11:45AM

    Great blog. Glad you chose to keep your convictions and decline the sausage biscuit, even though they were only $.59 cents.
I used to in my obese days look for bargains like that. If it was 2 for $3.00 I always bought the 2. Even though I know they would sell me one for $1.50.
The reason I decline to go to fast food places now, it's not that I will totally derail my healthy eating, but it's a start down that slippery slope. I don't need to go there.
Even though the food there has some better choices, I know I would want the fat greasy burger and fries. But I too have made a commintment to eat healthy and if I want a burger I will fix my own, that wey I know what is in it. I have to be accountable to myself.
No one said the path we chose would be easy, but it's so worth it.
Take care, Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUNETTA2002 4/20/2012 10:59AM

    Good for you. No matter what you eat it shows up some where.

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RSTAPLE 4/20/2012 10:05AM

  Awesome blog!!

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 4/20/2012 9:47AM

    This was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes and hits home on several levels. Thank you.. emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 4/20/2012 9:33AM

    good for you..... emoticon

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POLARPUP 4/20/2012 9:14AM

    Thank you so much for the great reminder of what's really important and that health should always overcome food.

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NHEMBERGER 4/20/2012 8:03AM

    Great blog! Very well said!
emoticon

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PHIREBALL 4/20/2012 6:00AM

    I confess! I ate Popeye's fried chicken last night. One step back, but today will be a regular healthy day.

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 4/20/2012 12:31AM

    I love sausage biscuits too. And their steak bagels (McDonald's) used to be a favorite too. BK has the croissanwich's--YUM, and they used to have those cheesy tots. I'd get those for breakfast and a frozen coke to go with them, on my way to work. I'd devour the cheesy tots before I got very far down the road though.

I can't even imagine the calories I consumed, unthinking, before. Now I don't put anything in my mouth without thinking about how many calories. I love these Pepperidge Farm cracker chips. I guess they fulfill my need to CRUNCH. You get 27 of them for 140 calories. But once I open a bag, I walk by and grab a few now and then. I got to thinking, each of those little chips is around 5 calories. That adds up FAST. It's better when they're not in the house--tempting me! At least if I don't open the bag, I don't eat them. But they're open now--watch out!

Your daughter is sweet--and you're smart and sweet. You solved the dilemma without hurting her feelings. The kids learn that we're different now. We can't and don't eat like that anymore. I told my kids this Christmas--NO candy in my stocking. Hubby knows NOT to buy candy for me at Valentine's Day any more. I try to cook normal BIG dinners on holidays, but there's also some low fat options available. I try to fill up on those and eat just a little of the other stuff.

We're making BIG changes....we need to learn to respect our bodies...and our families need to learn to respect our wishes. They will learn soon enough as this way of life becomes ingrained in all of us. It WILL happen! We CAN do this!

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SPEEDY143 4/19/2012 10:51PM

    Yeah, it's no wonder why we are obese.... burgers are $.99 & salads are $4.99. I love that you let her buy you an ice tea but stuck to your guns and decided that YOUR health is worth it. I have to learn to say no thank you to offers from loving individuals who just want to treat me. Thanks for the reminder emoticon

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GEEMAWEST 4/19/2012 10:28PM

    This is a battle I fight constantly with my husband. He is always tempting me with things to eat and when I explain why I don't want it he gets his feeling hurt or tries harder to tempt me. It's nice to know that someone else understands how I feel.

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HLANIER4 4/19/2012 8:49PM

    I battle with myself and my family as I walk the line to lose weight. I appreciate your blog, because this is a decision I make a lot in my life. Recently, I was not doing well, but am back after 2 weeks away from SP. You're truly inspirational for those of us that chose the sausage and biscuit...or in my case bagel sandwich.

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JEWITCH 4/19/2012 7:23PM

    Fantastic blog, what great insight in what is really important. Thanks for sharing.

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LINDA! 4/19/2012 5:29PM

    Awesome blog. I almost bought a hamburger today, at McDonalds, because I had run errands for a few hours and so hungry. But I remembered that the sodium alone was NOT what I needed. This is a timely blog for me and a reminder to keep working on taking care of my health.

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Fear Strikes Out

Thursday, April 12, 2012


If you cant view it here this video is availible on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YPQgu4CX
w4

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANILUS 4/29/2012 9:40AM

    So happy you were able to overcome one of your fears. I lost 187 lbs from 2005-2007 and worked out at a gym 8 hrs a week for 3 years. My dragons came to haunt me because they were not dealt with. I put back on all but 35 lbs. In 2009, I met my husband and started the journey again, seeing the looks of disapproval as I walked into the gym was embarrassing. Just knowing where I used to be was an embarrassment. I faced that dragon and won, I have over 100 lbs off now. Not easy to fight the dragons but, go get um!!

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ME_THE_REMAKE 4/21/2012 11:04AM

  great vlog, thanks so much for posting! I have a list to write and some dragons to slay.....

emoticon

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MYADOG1 4/19/2012 11:27AM

    I'm in!

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LEAN-N-LEXY 4/18/2012 10:12AM

    "Bite the heads off the dragons, one at a time." You said a lot there, John. It's making me realize that I have not really tried to identify my dragons, but instead just make excuses like, "I'm too tired" or "This is sore today." I need to really identify what those dragons are that are keeping me from doing what I need to do to get out there.

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JENNY888 4/16/2012 1:09PM

    Great heart felt post John. Thanks for giving me something to ponder. I need to have confidence to know I can do it. Like you have gained back what I worked so hard to lose. This time it is hard to get the confidence back to know I can do it again and the resolve to make the time to do what I needs to be done. I am with you. Fear should not stop me.

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WONDERFUL2BME 4/14/2012 9:49PM

    Pinky pack!

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MERRYMO1961 4/14/2012 6:45PM

    This vlog cuts right to the quick and resonates with me. Thank you for being honest and for sharing it here. It was what I needed to hear today.
Now excuse me, I've got a dragon or two to go slay...


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RICOCHETBEAR 4/14/2012 1:49PM

    Great blog John! Fortunately my dragons are not in this area, but this is very inspirational for those with these fears. emoticon

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DENISE223 4/14/2012 1:33PM

    Hi John:

I just read your blog, "To Sparkers Old and New", which then led me to clicking on your Vlog, "Fear Strikes Out".
Talk about hitting home!

There are times when I feel paralyzed by fear and most of the time it IS because of silly things.
It has been awhile since I have pushed through some of my fears, so I will make a pinky pack with you for today.

emoticon -- Change that to "WE CAN DO IT"!

I sincerely appreciate your honesty and look forward to reading your past blogs.

Many blessings to you and yours!
Peace, good health & happiness,
Denise

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TRISH261 4/14/2012 1:18AM

    Thank you, John, for that excellent video blog! And I have to say that I have managed to conquer a lot of my fears over the past few months, but there's still some I am still dealing with. And one of my fears is: The treadmill. I know that sounds weird, especially because I love being on one; but I am afraid to get on one in public (and I don't have enough room to own one) because I am afraid people will snicker and laugh at me because I weigh so much that when I walk on it, my feet thud and I'm sure it shakes the machine, and the floor. Every time I think of it, I actually HEAR the thudding sound. And I fear exercising in public; when I do walk, I go at 5 am, when it's still dark or at night after the sun goes down. I want to join a gym; I really think I am ready for it because I love the feeling I have after I walk and exercise, but fear is holding me back. And I WANT to beat that fear into the ground! So, yes, John, I AM ready to take the pinky pact, and when I "strike" my fear out, I will never let it get its grasp on me again! I am so glad I found you on here!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DELIGHTFULDEBI 4/13/2012 7:45PM

    Wow! Thanks, John! I'm afraid...I'm afraid I will fail at this once again. I have recently lost 35 pounds following another program but I am feeling stuck so I have come to SPARKPEOPLE. I signed up on this site several months ago but I am now taking it seriously, but I'm afraid. I don't really know what to expect and I am leaving a very structured program and going into I don't know what. So, I'm afraid.

Debi emoticon

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GIRANIMAL 4/13/2012 7:05PM

    Darn you for calling me out.

emoticon

Swimming would be excellent for me right now with my own pain issues. Plus it would be a welcome change in my beyond-monotonous cardio routine. It once was true there was no way I could afford a gym membership, but now I almost definitely could squeeze out the money.

But I am afraid.

I am afraid I won't use the darn thing after all and just throw the money away. I'm afraid I'll pick the wrong gym and hate it. I'm afraid I'll look ridiculous next to all those "gym rats" who obviously are fitter and smarter than I am.

And I am absolutely positively terrified of wearing a bathing suit. Period! But in public?! Are you kidding me? I know! I understood before, but now, at 130 pounds? I am sick, man, sick.

I really don't know where I would find the time. (Here I am again, stuck at work this evening until...well, practically indefinitely.) But aside from that part, I really have been thinking about just biting the proverbial bullet. And maybe you just gave me the push I needed!

Oh, and good for you, John! (What?! That's not ALL I said in response!)

emoticon

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REDROSE1990 4/13/2012 4:36PM

  I just joined SparkPeople this month and so far it's an eye-opening experience. I begin to realise it's much more than just having a bit more weight. And your questions and insights help me a lot to realise who I am.
This one really hit home. What am I afraid of? A lot. I've never been thin, and since I was twelve my mother always said I had to lose weight. I'm afraid I will disappoint her. I'm afraid I already did, because I already tried so many times and I never make my goalweight. I'm afraid to go to the gym (not the grouplessons that I'm currently taking, but the real gym). I'm afraid of other people's opinions about me. I'm afraid I am too self-conscious and because of that I'll miss some great experiences in my life. I think that's my biggest fear.
I'll gladly make the pinky promise! Thank you.

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AJDOVER1 4/13/2012 4:18PM

    Okay, John. I'm afraid.
I have a lot of really good reasons for being afraid, but they don't matter. There are two groups of people: Those-Who-Move-Beyond-Their-Fears and Those-Who-Don't. It's up to me to decide to which group I want to pay the dues. It's true, there's a cost associated either way. Sometimes it's a big cost for a big reward. Sometimes I think I'm saving myself from the cost, but I lose the payout. Maybe I just need to budget better. Or maybe we can pool our resources so we can both borrow each other's strengths so the cost of the dues doesn't seem so high. There's a big payoff for joining the Those-Who-Move-Beyond-Their-Fears group. I think there's an installment pay plan for the dues. I'm going to borrow a little from you today. Thanks, John.

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MYSTERYROSE74 4/13/2012 4:18PM

    I love you John!! Fear is a HUGE part of my life, and I do let it rule me. I have ataxic cerebral palsy, and am prone to falling. I am deathly afraid of falling. I need to get over it. I've been fighting this fear for way too long. I start to fight it, and the fear just kicks me upside the head. So yes, I am in for your challenge for not being afraid. Your blogs and vlogs always motivate me.

Thanks for all you do.

Terrie emoticon

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AKIMA06 4/13/2012 12:47PM

  Thanks for your inspiration. I am really afraid to go to a gym and don't belong to one right now. I am afraid that if I join one that it will be like all the other times meaning I won't go. I am also afraid to blog. Maybe I will start there. I don't know if I am ready to pinky promise but I will consider it today. Thanks again.

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SNOWANGELDIVA 4/13/2012 11:14AM

    I LOVE when you travel. Hotel vlogs..I feel like I'm stalking the Travelocity Gnome. Tee hee. Fear and I wrestle all the time. Oh DUDE, guess what...honestly.
It really could be anything when I say that.
Guess what!
My fear (this week), was this stupid neuro/pain prob idiocy thing knoecked me on my tooshie and I'm having trouble keeping up with the kiddies homeschooling. They were enrolled into public school.
Today.
It's like the First Day of School Times Three.
Pinky Pack!!! On Kicking Fear to the Curb!
I love this Gang!

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LITTLEBRITCHES7 4/13/2012 10:35AM

    Thanks for the thoughts!!!!!

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CBRIGGS1956 4/13/2012 9:00AM

    Thanks John for sharing.....I'm in.

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HEALTHIERMAMA57 4/13/2012 8:31AM

    Thanks, emoticon

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PAPADADDY1 4/13/2012 7:25AM

    Good video and inspiring message. It took "Sisu" (guts) to do a video instead of just writing a blog. Body language and facial expressions influence your message like no blog can. That in is's self took courage. Thank you and please keep them comin'!

I am feeling quite crappy today. Flu probably. I was going to take the day off from my workout but after watching your video I will do some stretching, a little walking and a short ride on the bike. Whether you know it or not, you are a motivator. Keep on Keepin' on John!

Hey! I'm a poet! emoticon

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NEWTINK 4/13/2012 7:24AM

    If you need a pinky pal feel free to consider me one ... you are truly inspiring ... Have a great day !!!! sorry i was late in replying to this blog


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ONEKIDSMOM 4/13/2012 7:21AM

    Wow! Fear is a powerful motivator. Fear of failing publicly, of looking less than successful is big for many of us. Thanks for your courage and CONGRATS on getting past fear one step at a time! emoticon

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REJ7777 4/13/2012 7:10AM

    Thank you for sharing your struggles (and victories) honestly. I know that I often do not do things I'd like to do because of fear or shame. I'm not sure I'm ready to make a pinky pact, but I will reflect on the challenge... and remember this blog.

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TMW54812 4/13/2012 5:04AM

    Well said!......and done!

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NASFKAB 4/13/2012 12:16AM

  thought provoking

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MYTURN11 4/12/2012 11:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonHugs to you, warrior ~ march on :-)

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LADILADIDA 4/12/2012 10:36PM

    Listening to fear and doing something about it. Courage isn't not being afraid, it's being afraid and taking action anyway. I like hanging around courageous and smart people which includes you.

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SEATTLE58 4/12/2012 10:18PM

    Very good and so thoughtful. I can tell that you really put your all into this video and I love that. You can only help someone when you've been there yourself and you have. Thank you for raising thoughts within myself to think more on. I will definitely come to you when I am afraid of something to do with this weight loss journey. You are a good inspiration! Thanks again! emoticon emoticon

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MISSPEACHES3 4/12/2012 9:16PM

    Thanks John. I look forward to being brave against those dumb fears that I also have.

Blessings,
Brenda

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BEARGODDESS 4/12/2012 7:30PM

    Thanks John! My fear is blogging. I don't journal. I'm a private person and I'm scared that I'm just not fascinating enough to "deserve" to blog here! I think I'll start with a sentence or two (1/4 mile) and try to work up from there!



emoticon

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THEFLORIDAFAIRY 4/12/2012 7:07PM

    John - Very thought provoking and inspiring. I don't know that I have any fears that I can think of right now, but will think about it and keep you posted! Thanks John emoticon

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FIFISMOM3 4/12/2012 6:55PM

    Thanks for the words. I am having surgery on my shoulder next month.. I can barely type now.. I will be history then and now I am walking up a storm hope I will be ok with it.. In AZ we roast so with all the crud I will have on my arm I am hoping to get a treadmill.. lol.. emoticon

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