Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I didn’t expect the response I received on my last blog about mentoring new Sparkers. Thank you all so much for your wisdom and your support. I had to chuckle when I woke up this morning and saw it had received A Most Popular Blog Award. A little voice said “Ok, John, what are you going to do now?” In a word, I’m not sure. There are many great teams and many great team leaders out there. Some days it may seem difficult to locate them but they are out there. Some of you commented that you feel like you are on the outside looking in. To those folks I say please hang in there. I went through a similar experience when I injured my back last year. All of a sudden some of my running and spinning friends acted like I hadn’t showered in a month. It was a difficult time for me but I found my true friends and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Whether you have been here three days or three years I’d like to share three things that have kept me going through my tremendous successes and my spectacular failures. Many of you had read these before. I remind myself of them daily.
First of all, you deserve to be successful. Do not let anyone, absolutely no one tell you otherwise. You deserve your spot at the head table as much as anyone else. If you have failed, made huge mistakes, felt that no one would accept you because of the silly stuff you have done in your life please follow me to join a long line of human beings who share all these things with you and I. We have oodles of company. It doesn’t matter that I love you, it matters that you believe in your core that you deserve success. Maybe you didn’t feel that way last night but feel it today and be patient. It takes some time to grow. When you deserve to be successful you engage in behavior that helps you grow. Good food, good exercise and lottsa rest and relaxation. BTW: You do have the time for yourself!!!
Second, you are worth all the effort you put into yourself. Overweight people have an amazing and magical crutch. It stops us dead in our tracks while fortifying our upside down thinking. It goes something like this: “If I devote all this time to myself I am being selfish and self-centered and egotistical. I mean look at me!!! I’m a blob of fat and that’s my lot in life. What about my (fill in the blank)? You are worth the effort, because see reason number one above, you deserve it. When we stop investing our resource in negative behavior we have time to love ourselves and to invest in behavior that shows us we are worth all the sweating and huffing and puffing. This isn’t easy, far from it. I lost and gained two small people in the past three years. I have triumphed and fallen flat on my face but you notice I am still here. Some days I feel so very alone but I’m still here. Why? I deserve it. One day I’ll “get this!!!” The minute I give up, is the minute I tell myself I do not deserve this wonderful life ahead of me. It means I admit defeat. See you are not alone so please don’t go slinking off into some corner feeling like you can’t do this. You can and you will because…………
Third and foremost: You are who you hang around with. Spark People isn’t magic. It requires an effort. It requires you step way outside of your comfort zone and put your well-being ahead of everything else. It means if there are people in your life who weigh you down, who ridicule your effort to get a grip on your health, well, they have to go. I have never known of anyone who drank poison on a regular basis and lived. On the other hand there are many amazing people here who will lift you up and provide you with the amazing feeling that you belong here. Being overweight has an awful stigma attached to it. We feel the stares, the laughs and hear the jokes. We need each other. I can’t be a success without you in my life in some form or fashion. Maybe it’s time we kick down the door, remove convention and destroy our fears.
This isn’t just about me or you. It’s about us.