Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Like so many others I spend more than a fair amount of time worrying about failure. I douse myself with positive affirmations and energized visualizations; but yet I can’t seem to escape that nagging notion that this time is going to be like all the rest. This time, like every other time will end in failure. For someone who is so used to failing at things you would think I’d be comfortable with the notion, eh? But I am not. I want to be like all of “those people.” I want to be healthy, happy and successful and I want to breeze through life without a care in the world. The universe will be my oyster and by the way, did I mention in this world I have a full head of hair?
Sans the full head of hair you can’t tell me that at some time in your life you haven’t felt like this, discouraged, run down, lost and wondering to that healthy life style you created a few months or a few years ago. Where did your motivation go? Where did the desire to get out there and run, jump or swim? It evaporated and you are at a loss. So you do what’s natural. You can’t locate the source of the problem so you turn inward. You blame yourself. You nitpick every bad decision you ever made, scourge yourself for not having the will power and motivation to be like “all the rest of those people,” and you sink into a vat of despair. You are ashamed and you are embarrassed and you really don’t want to be around those friends of yours, virtual or otherwise who seem so darned successful, racking up awards and the like, running marathons, flying to the moon……….
In my mind, I have left Spark a million times. I’ve rationalized how easy it would be to hit the delete button on my browser and chalk this up to experience. But I don’t. I don’t quit because I know that my latest failure brings me that much closer to me reaching my goal. It’s not always fun, it’s not always productive but simply being here and simply putting one foot in front of the other each morning sustains me through the dry spells, through the weeks and sometimes months where all I can seem to do is be a bit dazed and confused.
It took me fifty-six years to develop all these unhealthy habits, what makes me think they are all going to disappear in two years. I swallowed some bitter pills here but when I dried the tears and all the smoke cleared, ahhhhhhhhhhh, I was so much wiser and I am creating a foundation for tomorrow, for my success. The scale may have groaned a bit the other day but this to shall pass.
A very dear friend, who has been busy with life these past few months, sent me a Goodie yesterday. It made a request “Hi, may I come back?” It was heartfelt and sincere. My response? “In my heart you never left my dear friend.”
Starting over is never a sign of failure. It’s a sign of wisdom and most of all courage. I believe you are who you hang around with. I draw much of my motivation from the success stories here but an equal amount from those of us who keep falling and keep getting up.
Thank you for that my dear friends, thank you.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
I thought this was meaningful to many of us on lifes journey. I thought I'd share
"I stand between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come - the radiance of the Sun of Righteousness. Backward, over the past year, is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorry and disappointment.
Dwell not on the past - only on the present. Only use the past as the trees use My Sunlight to absorb it, to make from it in after days the warming fire-rays. So store only the blessings from Me, the Light of the World. Encourage yourselves by the thought of these.
Bury every fear of the future, of poverty for those dear to you, of suffering, of loss. Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentments, your sense of failure, your disappointment in others and in yourselves, your gloom, your despondency, and let us leave them all, buried, and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember that you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands - in trust for you. But I shall guide you one day at a time.
Leave the rest with Me. You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thoughts of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength." by Two Listeners
Thursday, December 29, 2011
I wonder what it would be like to live my life with no strings attached. To see someone in need and to rush to their aid without weighing the consequences of how it might be perceived. Would it affect my career? Would my friends abandon me?
I wonder what it would be like if I gave to other people simply because I see someone in need and want to help because it’s what I believe deep down inside? No matter what they feel my motives are I continue on a path that embraces what I feel and believe. I wonder
I wonder what it would be like to stop thinking about rewards, tangible or otherwise. To watch someone else grow and mature and reach their goals rather that look upwards to the deity I worship and say that I deserved a check mark beside my name or wonder “what’s in it for me?”
I wonder how I’d feel, if my life was built upon faith, trust and a belief that everyone felt the same as me
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Looking at change in a new light via Kathy Freston
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