Tuesday, January 10, 2012
We say that a lot to ourselves don't we? Especially this time of year. Even though the skies are gray the trees are bare and the weather often very gloomy and cold January seems to be the time of year that we allow ourselves the opportunity to "start over." When May or June rolls around, we've often forgotten what it was like to "start over." Most of our goals have fallen by the wayside, or we've come up with a convenient excuse to move onto something bigger, better or different. I'm no different. Each year I sit down and tell myself I'm going to be healthier, more active and earn more money. I’ll pay off all of my bills, increase my business and grow some new hair to boot. Usually by mid-February I have gotten so confused and so lost in trying to keep track of all these goals and objectives that I throw my hands up in the air. You may experience the same thing. It's maddening isn't it? Every year we start over with the best of intentions and every year we seem to get derailed. I didn't realize it until I read something the other day that said 97% of people who set goals do not reach them and the number one reason people gave for not reaching their goals is procrastination. It's the old "Oh I'll have time to get that later." I'm one of the world's worst offenders. There is always something more important more timely or more bright and shiny to attract my attention and divert me from my goals.
I started to notice as I got older, that most of my goals were "retreads." They were the same goals spoke differently for a different year. I guess I figured that if I called them something other than what they were I might be able to reach them. There's not much difference between losing weight and getting healthy, is there? If you strive to get healthy, losing weight is a natural byproduct. There isn't a lot of difference between becoming fit in running the 5K, is there? So with each New Year I set out to fool myself. It was a brand new goal. I have to laugh, because each year, roundabout March, I'd be stuck in the same quagmire. This year I decided to do something different. I decided that I was going to look at all the behavior from the past year, 2011, and see where I had gotten off track. No sense rewriting goals that I hadn’t reached anyway, maybe it was time to examine my behavior. Last week, I spent the better part of the week, reflecting on 2011. That was pretty difficult I had to look at my behaviors as they related to the goals I set for myself and as I began to examine them I began to see that I was getting in my own way. That can often be a bitter pill to swallow. It involves standing naked before an emotional mirror and looking at all the blemishes, all the smudges and all the smears.
It asks us to do something we are not quite used to doing – avoiding blame. You know the routine, so do I. When faced with an insurmountable task we look for someone else or something else to use as a reason or excuse for not accomplishing the task. Oh, it doesn't get us any closer to our goal, but it makes life more livable. This year I decided to look at my behavior in 2011 or as Zig Zigler said, "You have to remove, your stinking thinking."
I received more than one e-mail, phone call, text message asking where I was last week and if everything was okay. I had to chuckle a little bit. Although I had a seminar to conduct on Friday, I spent the better part of the week reflecting on what behaviors could be adjusted from 2011 and most importantly what I learned from them those behaviors that'll help me in 2012.
The proof is, as they say, in the pudding. For our purposes let's hope the pudding is low-fat. By beginning to adjust my behaviors and taking a hard look at my thought process I was able to drop 4 pounds last week.
I will keep you posted.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Like so many others I spend more than a fair amount of time worrying about failure. I douse myself with positive affirmations and energized visualizations; but yet I can’t seem to escape that nagging notion that this time is going to be like all the rest. This time, like every other time will end in failure. For someone who is so used to failing at things you would think I’d be comfortable with the notion, eh? But I am not. I want to be like all of “those people.” I want to be healthy, happy and successful and I want to breeze through life without a care in the world. The universe will be my oyster and by the way, did I mention in this world I have a full head of hair?
Sans the full head of hair you can’t tell me that at some time in your life you haven’t felt like this, discouraged, run down, lost and wondering to that healthy life style you created a few months or a few years ago. Where did your motivation go? Where did the desire to get out there and run, jump or swim? It evaporated and you are at a loss. So you do what’s natural. You can’t locate the source of the problem so you turn inward. You blame yourself. You nitpick every bad decision you ever made, scourge yourself for not having the will power and motivation to be like “all the rest of those people,” and you sink into a vat of despair. You are ashamed and you are embarrassed and you really don’t want to be around those friends of yours, virtual or otherwise who seem so darned successful, racking up awards and the like, running marathons, flying to the moon……….
In my mind, I have left Spark a million times. I’ve rationalized how easy it would be to hit the delete button on my browser and chalk this up to experience. But I don’t. I don’t quit because I know that my latest failure brings me that much closer to me reaching my goal. It’s not always fun, it’s not always productive but simply being here and simply putting one foot in front of the other each morning sustains me through the dry spells, through the weeks and sometimes months where all I can seem to do is be a bit dazed and confused.
It took me fifty-six years to develop all these unhealthy habits, what makes me think they are all going to disappear in two years. I swallowed some bitter pills here but when I dried the tears and all the smoke cleared, ahhhhhhhhhhh, I was so much wiser and I am creating a foundation for tomorrow, for my success. The scale may have groaned a bit the other day but this to shall pass.
A very dear friend, who has been busy with life these past few months, sent me a Goodie yesterday. It made a request “Hi, may I come back?” It was heartfelt and sincere. My response? “In my heart you never left my dear friend.”
Starting over is never a sign of failure. It’s a sign of wisdom and most of all courage. I believe you are who you hang around with. I draw much of my motivation from the success stories here but an equal amount from those of us who keep falling and keep getting up.
Thank you for that my dear friends, thank you.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
I thought this was meaningful to many of us on lifes journey. I thought I'd share
"I stand between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come - the radiance of the Sun of Righteousness. Backward, over the past year, is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorry and disappointment.
Dwell not on the past - only on the present. Only use the past as the trees use My Sunlight to absorb it, to make from it in after days the warming fire-rays. So store only the blessings from Me, the Light of the World. Encourage yourselves by the thought of these.
Bury every fear of the future, of poverty for those dear to you, of suffering, of loss. Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentments, your sense of failure, your disappointment in others and in yourselves, your gloom, your despondency, and let us leave them all, buried, and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember that you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands - in trust for you. But I shall guide you one day at a time.
Leave the rest with Me. You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thoughts of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength." by Two Listeners
Thursday, December 29, 2011
I wonder what it would be like to live my life with no strings attached. To see someone in need and to rush to their aid without weighing the consequences of how it might be perceived. Would it affect my career? Would my friends abandon me?
I wonder what it would be like if I gave to other people simply because I see someone in need and want to help because it’s what I believe deep down inside? No matter what they feel my motives are I continue on a path that embraces what I feel and believe. I wonder
I wonder what it would be like to stop thinking about rewards, tangible or otherwise. To watch someone else grow and mature and reach their goals rather that look upwards to the deity I worship and say that I deserved a check mark beside my name or wonder “what’s in it for me?”
I wonder how I’d feel, if my life was built upon faith, trust and a belief that everyone felt the same as me
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