JOHNTJ1   65,391
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
JOHNTJ1's Recent Blog Entries

Our Perspective

Friday, February 26, 2010

A great deal of my work involves traveling. I love traveling, especially when I am sitting in the cozy warmth of my office and talking about it. Catch me in the middle of a three hour flight delay on the last flight leaving Chicago for San Diego or Los Angeles and I might give you a different opinion. It’s a matter of perspective.

I was in Los Angeles a few years ago and I was making a purchase with one of my bank cards. The clerk asked for ID when I gave her my driver’s license she said “Oh Kentucky!” By the look on her face I began looking around to see if I was standing beside some week old garbage.Long ago I learned to use humor as weapon. Not a Kill you, beat you up weapon” but a weapon to diffuse a tense situation or two.

I leaned across the counter and said,” Ma’m I have worn shoes all my life, had indoor plumbing ever since I can remember and I promise you I am not married to any immediate family members.” She chuckled a bit.

“Wanna know something?” I asked her

She nodded.

“Do you know I spend a lot of time defending people who live in Southern California?”She straightened up and gave me one of those “What the heck do you mean looks.”

“Everyone knows,” I went on. “You are all pot smoking hippies who have sex in the middle of the street whenever you choose. And that’s just the everyday people. Don’t get me started on movie stars.”

She smiled and said something like “Okay, you got me.” It’s a matter of perspective.

We are so quick to evaluate and even quicker to judge and dispose of thoughts, ideas and other people. I believe most of those actions come from a very deep rooted insecurity we all have about ourselves. The next time you have a free moment get yourself comfortable, close your eyes and conjure up a picture of yourself. Take a really good look at that picture. Pay close attention to what you see. That is the image you and I project to the rest of the world. If it’s a smiling confident, up right posture then that’s what the world sees.

Most of us vacillate somewhere between feeling so-so about ourselves and downright unhappy. That’s why diets don’t work. They deal only with the shell, or the exterior. The next time you are in a book store notice what two sections contain the most titles---- Dieting and Self Help. Now don’t you think if there was one regimen for health there would be one book? And we all would walk around with grins on our faces? It’s a matter of perspective.

We often tell ourselves that the external self doesn’t matter, that’s it’s the inner person or the inner beauty that should shine. Oh yeah? Tally up how much money you have spent on exercise equipment, workout clothes and gym memberships in the past five years and compare it to what you spend on your “inner self.” It’s a matter of perspective.

Imagine you purchased an old beat up car that barely ran and the only investment you made in it was to get an expensive pain job. The car wouldn’t run any better. My perspective needs to change from the inside out. Once the inner image I have of me begins to change, the exterior will match it. It’s all about my perspective!

When I see me as being a person of value, a person who loves and is loved, a person who has really cool things to share, all of a sudden those cookies, cakes and pies aren’t so important to me any longer and I start looking for ways to match my inner picture.

Stop and think for a moment: Why is Sparkpeople.com so successful? In close to three months I have yet to read or see any magic or secret formulas. No rigid diet that forces me to deny myself. No snarling trainer telling me I won’t be healthy until I die from a stroke on the tread mill. Just a lot nurturing by a lot of fantastic folks. Just a lot of support and encouragement by all of you. If I am a reasonable and rationale person, I believe that I am part of a very unique group of people called humanity and suddenly those bad habits aren’t my priorities any longer.

Take a good hard look at yourself and start seeing the wonderful creature God created. You see, I am really selfish. I want you to see the marvelous you, so I can see you too.

It’s a matter of perspective.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NJMATTICE 2/26/2010 7:26PM

    emoticon
my rose colored glasses for proper perspective.
Cheers.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STAN5FAM 2/26/2010 1:40PM

    The first part of your blog had me laughing. Lived in metro, suburb New England then moved to TN rural Apalachia Smokey Mountains. Yes we were surrounded by the stereotype of rural life. It was quite the culture shock. But how narrowminded and foolish it would be to "Box" and limit people to what they think a person would could amount too.
You are such an inspiration, John. I thank God everyday for people like you.
Have you got a Motivator award yet???!! I keep voting for you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCYNA 2/26/2010 11:50AM

    WoW!!!You should write a book on optimism, your blog 's so inspirational!!! Thanks and I'm so happy you've been changing so much - so have I emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/26/2010 11:50:41 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
WANDAH3 2/26/2010 10:41AM

    John, thank you once again for blogging. I always enjoy your views .

Have a wonderful Friday,
Hugs,
Wanda

Report Inappropriate Comment
TNTEACHER2 2/26/2010 10:35AM

    Morning, John,
I was visiting my mom in a hospital in Illinois, when her roommate asked me whenre I was from. At the time I taught in Tennessee. When she found this out, she wanted to give me her old clothes to take to my students! KY and TN get a bad rap from the rest of the country.
Marcy

Report Inappropriate Comment
CMBELISLE 2/26/2010 9:45AM

    I got a really good chuckle out of (the first part of) your blog. Perspective is a really important aspect of life, both in how we see ourselves and how we see others. Our perspective of ourselves also changes based on our "mood" of the moment. Thanks to your providing me with some laughter, the image of myself that I envisioned was a good one. Had I not been in a good mood from that laughter, the image I had envisioned might not have been so nice.

I really do enjoy your blogs. Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
STORMTMB 2/26/2010 9:36AM

    One of my favorite quotes... "What we see depends mainly on what we look for." -author unknown.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAZZAT2003 2/26/2010 9:18AM

    John,
I wonder if you realize what an inspiration you are to those who read your blogs. Everyone thinks that being healthy means lean and muscular or resembling models. They forget that being healthy is not only what we look like on the outside but how we look and feel on the inside, too. Thanks for helping us remember that.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOLLBABE56 2/26/2010 8:22AM

    John,

Another great blog.

This is really something we should all consider. It's easy to lose the real you. There is so much negativity in the world, but there is also a lot of positivity. Wouldn't it be great if we all would take the time to see our own perspective and learn to treat our bodies as the temple they are?

Have a wonderful day.

Debbie

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMABILE75 2/26/2010 8:04AM

    I just love your blogs!! If there is one thing I always enjoy getting it is a fresh perspective. A different perspective on things can make such a huge difference in your life.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Optimism: An Addition

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I was not aware there was more to the Optimists Creed than I posted. One of my dear Spark friends shared the rest with me. It is actually a quote by Christian D Larson. Here are the last two lines

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Thank you TSISQUAUSDI for sharing the rest of the quote

Hope y'all enjoy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEGOOSE2 2/25/2010 9:04PM

  Thank you ,for sharing this wonderful creed. It is refreshing to see to see someone with such a positive outlook. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WANDAH3 2/25/2010 7:56PM

    It's a powerful creed...love it.

Hugs,
Wanda

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRANDTEETON 2/25/2010 7:33PM

    I like the quotes. Best of luck to you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KERENSALMW 2/25/2010 7:21PM

  pretty amazing 2 lines.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Optimism

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Every Wednesday around noon I gather with a like minded group of people who sincerely believe in being positive. We are the International Optimist and our mission is to "bring out the best in kids." For the past few weeks I have wanted to take time to share The Optimists Creed with you. I thought today would be good since I will be traveling most of today.

I have found that if I take each section and dwell on it in my life and what it means to me, I am much happier. I hope you enjoy.

The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself:

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Have a great Thursday

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIRANIMAL 2/26/2010 1:08PM

    Thanks for sharing! I really have been working hard at this recently. Isn't it too bad that at some point optimism fail to come naturally to us anymore? It just shouldn't be. Thanks for the reminder that it doesn't HAVE to be! Happy travels.

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMYTATH 2/25/2010 5:44PM

    I, along with several others it looks like, am going to print this and hang it somewhere I'll see it everyday!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WANDAH3 2/25/2010 5:19PM

    What a great creed to live by! Thank you for sharing it with us John.

I'm planning of making a copy to have at my desk at work.

Hope your day is fantastic.

Hugs,
Wanda

Report Inappropriate Comment
TSISQUAUSDI 2/25/2010 3:34PM

    Hi, John - That's a quote by Christian D. Larson. The rest of it goes:

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson


Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCYNA 2/25/2010 11:14AM

    WoW...Looks wonderful, I'll use it... emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NJMATTICE 2/25/2010 10:46AM

    I do solemnly swear to follow the creed.
Thanks, John. Have aTHpectacular Thursday!
-Nancy

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRIPLE_EMME 2/25/2010 9:57AM

    Thanks for posting the Optimist Creed!

Report Inappropriate Comment
OHYESITSME1 2/25/2010 9:05AM

    THANK YOU! I needed that!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAZZAT2003 2/25/2010 8:51AM

    You always have such wonderful blogs. It is like a new treat everyday. I really enjoyed this one and now probably more than before I should try to follow it. It has always been easier for me to be a worrybody. Have a safe trip and I look forward to reading your next post.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STORMTMB 2/25/2010 8:21AM

    What a great challenge! Thanks for sharing this creed. Clearly you are trying to live it! Have a great day and be safe in your travels.

Tina

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOLLBABE56 2/25/2010 7:36AM

    John - Thank you for posting this. This is a wonderful guide that I can practice. I am trying so hard to stay positive (this coming from one that has been so negative in the past). I am finding that I am so much happier with myself. This is the 2nd blog of yours (I believe) that I have read, and both are so uplifting. Be safe traveling today!

Debbie

Report Inappropriate Comment
PALEAN 2/25/2010 7:18AM

    I love this. This could open a lot of eyes up to less optimistic people. I always thought it would be a wonderful, and novel thing, to have a newspaper filled only with positive news. I think many people, communities would benefit if more emphasis were put on the successes of individuals, communities, countries and I truly believe happiness, positive energy is contagious. This is a wonderful creed! Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
REILLYGIRRRL 2/25/2010 7:12AM

  Great creed!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Simplicity

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I think it’s often over looked in our precise calculations on life, love and a journey towards happiness. For some strange reason we discount it as being too easy. If life isn’t a struggle at every corner and at every turn, then I guess we aren’t investing enough of our self. Too some, if we embrace it we are considered weak and without direction. It’s called simplicity and simplicity gets a very bad rap.

I have found it to be a really good antidote for stress. The less encumbered my life becomes the less I have to worry about. The less I worry the more room for joy, peace and that vision of the REAL me.

The real me is not the person created by everyone else’s expectations. That’s the me that turned to food as a solution, became obese, complicated my life even more and was in borderline despair mode for awhile. It’s the me that takes the time on a Saturday morning to sit down with some soothing background music and explore the things that make me so very unique. There are thirty two of them and they are never far from me. I read them aloud, I laugh a bit and I go on my way. It takes maybe 10 minutes. No need to climb the mountain and visit the Swami. I have all I need inside. The simpler I make it the easier it gets. The harder I make it the harder it gets.

I am a simple person. I ask to be loved and I want to give that love in return. I want to be acknowledged for what I do but if I don’t show you what I am capable of doing, how can you acknowledge me?

I am a simple person. I can tell you with confidence that I am funny, I am intelligent and I can get you to buy an igloo in Alaska with the twinkle in my eye.

Being simple doesn’t require a lot of work. It requires honesty. Yes, I have made a ton of mistakes but a quick review of everything I have written above shows that none of it has changed because I’ve admitted to being weak, or thrown a temper tantrum or changed a computer over to Windows 7 all by myself and messed it up after my wife told me to wait for one of sons who is an IT specialist.

The further I travel and the more I am “honestly honest” with myself the more I see that losing the bad weight I put on, adjusting my meal plan and working out has little or nothing to do with food and everything to do with how I see and value myself. We believe it hurts to be “honestly honest” Come close and I’ll tell you a little secret. Once I faced me, I simply saw what everyone else saw and it wasn’t bad. Once I was honest with me I found out I was a really cool dude, or “sir” to those of you under thirty. The only thing that stopped me from being me was me.

Really simple

There is no bravado here, no false courage. I’ll fail more today then I’ll succeed. At the end of the day I’ll write down one million things I wish I would have done differently. The difference is when I look at it tonight I’ll smile a bit instead of a painful grimace

Really simple

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOLLBABE56 2/25/2010 7:41AM

    Ok John, after reading todays blog I HAD to read this one. I don't know how I missed this one. I'm glad I did. You are such an inspiration. I love you attitude toward life.

Debbie emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATIEGLEN012 2/25/2010 2:06AM

    Taking time to acknowledge the simple things let's us realize that all the beauty in this world is simple...simply elegant, simply delightful, simply delicious. Your words are part of what makes my day simply delightful and your insights are simply inspiring. Glad to see you are taking care of you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WANDAH3 2/24/2010 6:09PM

    John...you have such a wonderful way of writing. I am always blessed when I stop by to read what you've written.

Like you, since I've actually faced myself and been truly honest...I'm learning that I actually like me too! As I've eased up on being so hard on myself, I've eased up naturally on many other things. Garry and I both have learned that "it's the simple things" in life that make the most impression. We are learning to let go of so much that has kept us prisoners.

Thanks for the wonderful blog.

Hugs,
Wanda

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLOTHEDINLOVE 2/24/2010 3:02PM

    I like this a lot! My husband and I are taking some active steps to making life simpler... cancelling cable, getting rid of "stuff"... it's refreshing.

I think being simple can be harder than being complicated. It's easy to make things complicated in this world. The hard part is stepping back from it and realizing we don't have to live that way.

Good luck to you in your journey to simplicity! Sounds like you're doing really well. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NJMATTICE 2/24/2010 2:45PM

    Now if I would just "simply" exercise more I think I'd be in better shape! I'm getting there. I like the bumper sticker "Live simply so that others can simply live." Keep up the good work.
-nj

Report Inappropriate Comment
_RAMONA 2/24/2010 2:30PM

    Hi, John! As I said in my blog this morning, this entry of yours should be called 'Killing me softly with his song'.

"[For some reason] if life isn’t a struggle at every corner and at every turn [I discount it as being too easy].

The simpler I make [life] the easier it gets. The harder I make [life] the harder it gets.
I want to be acknowledged for [who I really am] I do but if I don’t show you what I am capable of doing, how can you acknowledge me? The only thing that stopped me from being me was me [not being “honestly honest”].

The further I travel and the more I am “honestly honest” with myself the more I see that losing the bad weight I put on, adjusting my meal plan and working out has little or nothing to do with food and everything to do with how I see and value myself.

The less encumbered my life becomes the less I have to worry about. The less I worry the more room for joy, peace and that vision of the REAL me."

This pretty much sums up my growth the past two years here at SparkPeople, and it's still where I need to fine tune. I'm really 'weary' today, and it's because I let 'life' crowd out the REAL me, and I stopped being completely 'honestly honest'. It exhausts me... truly it does. Thanks for the reminder today. I'm truly blessed in having stumbled across your blog this week.

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}
Ramona

Comment edited on: 2/24/2010 4:03:17 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRIPLE_EMME 2/24/2010 10:32AM

    Simplicity -- that is something that I'm striving for in my life: keeping it simple.

Thank you for the thought provoking blog.

Have a great day!

P.S. I'm going to make the "special me" list my task for March.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STAN5FAM 2/24/2010 9:58AM

    Thanks Bestest Cool Dude! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STORMTMB 2/24/2010 8:13AM

    As always, great things to think about. Thanks for sharing, John! Have a great day!

Tina

Report Inappropriate Comment


Taking Care of Us

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I wasn’t feeling too well yesterday. I had planned on staying in my flannels and my Chicago Cubs tee shirt all day and giving myself permission to be lazy because I was sick. This means you can watch television all day and not feel guilty, or read for three hours and not have that nagging feeling you should be doing something more “productive.” Isn’t it amazing we have to get sick sometimes to feel good about ourselves and what we do?

But I digress.

The phone rang around eleven or so. The party on the other line “needed” to talk to me. He “needed” to have lunch with me. I told him I was not feeling well but I might as well have told him I was fourteen feet tall with a rotating head. I wouldn’t categorize this person as a friend, because a friend would have told me, “Let’s do it tomorrow! It can wait.” He is not really a client. He is just a child of God, which means guilt forced me into the shower and down the road to the one place I have avoided for over two months, a local pizza parlor which has killer food ---- literally and figuratively.

Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the very same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I knew two things before I even got out of the car. One, no matter what was “ailing him” he would discount the advice I gave him and get really defensive. This would be followed by a litany of my short comings. Since he doesn’t really know me that well I am not really sure how he knows all of them. Two, I would pay for lunch. His reasoning and logic is that he works for a not for profit company and doesn’t have any money, etc, etc. I wouldn’t mind so much if we alternated but I never invite him to lunch, he always invites me. As I am walking into the restaurant I am holding a conversation with myself that is questioning why I am there. Me and my box of Puff’s sit down and wait. There is a third thing I know about these encounters, he is at least fifteen minutes late, always!

Everything went according to script. He complained and moaned about his life, his wife and the people who worked for him. Thank goodness for him or the entire galaxy would collapse upon itself………..

There are “toxic people” in this world. I believe that they are like hazardous material. You need to stay away from them and not involve yourself with them or you will become toxic also. I don’t believe anyone is born toxic, I believe that after a period of time they make the choice to live that way, and……………….. If we are who we hang around with, well you complete the sentence.

We are as dependant on these toxic people as they are dependent upon spewing their poison. They might be an aunt, an uncle, a parent, a child or a spouse. And after all aren’t we called to love?? Mostly what we see ourselves being called to do is avoiding any situation that is uncomfortable to us.

Now I’m not sure if it was because I felt just plain crummy or if I had a moment of enlightenment, but after we had finished eating I stood up, looked at him and said:
“Joe, I have really come to value the relationship I have created with myself. I am healthier and happier than I have been in years. But here’s the deal: I should have not eaten with you today because I felt really sick but you didn’t seem to care, you never seem to care. So I am really angry right now, mostly with me. When you want to have a relationship that is based on honesty and give and take call me and we can start over. Till then I think way too much of me.”

I picked up the check and walked to the counter, told the owner to split it in half and told him Joe would be paying for his half. Then I left.

Honestly? I felt bad all the way home. But after sitting in the living room for an hour and just reflecting on the whole situation I believe I did something very healthy for me. I took care of me.

See, we just don’t have toxic relationships with people; we can have them with food. I mean haven’t my cookies, cakes and pies always been there for me? And now you want me to abandon them and become a healthy and happy John. The nerve of you!!! They have always been there. Can’t you here my arteries closing as we speak?

Health is a choice and sometimes the choice isn’t always filled with sunshine and tulips. Sometimes it’s making that first step towards sanity that takes you down a new road. It’s pitfalls and setbacks and some days lots and lots of tears.

But let’s wrap this up on a positive note.

Remember when I told you I avoided this pizza joint because of its very own toxicity? Well for lunch today I had a large salad with tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, broccoli, some hardboiled egg and 2 tablespoons of bleu cheese dressing. I had ONE piece of pizza that mostly veggies. I am pleased.

I love me. I love me a lot and I believe I would do anything to make sure that love stays healthy and grows healthy. In a very healthy way, I hope you love you too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OMELYN 2/24/2010 2:19PM

    Happened upon you through Ramona's comment about your blog!
Good for you, I say. It's one thing to be available to others, but another to be walked on an viewed as a free lunch with good ears.

May be, just may be after he gets over the shock, your "friend" will learn something even more powerful than the good advice I'm sure you always give him could teach.

Congratulations!
Lynn

Report Inappropriate Comment
CTENBRINK 2/24/2010 1:54PM

    Way to stand up for yourself!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_SNOWMAN 2/23/2010 11:25PM

    Hi JohnTJ1

I'm a new old sparker as I have been around a long time but not active. I just wanted to say I liked your blog it made me think. Thanks for your contribution!

_Snowman

Report Inappropriate Comment
_RAMONA 2/23/2010 10:37PM

    Hi, John! Nice to meet you... and WHAT an introduction. I stood up and cheered for you and the strength it took to stand up and put it all in perspective, out loud and (I believe) in a fair and loving way (the most loving action is not always the one that feels the best). You not only did something good for yourself, you did something good for him. Emotioanl bullies become as such because people generally don't stand up to them. Clearly this process is agreeing with you.

I am currently pondering a toxic relationship of my own... a relationship in which I did exactly what you just did... and I didn't feel badly about it... after 10 years, it was time. The other person, after a year came back and 'apologised' (sort of)... and we're sort of back where we started. And I'm trying to figure out how/what in me needs to be loved/healed more so that I can be more effective with this person and this relationship... but I'm struggling... and it hurts me.... it's rather insideous, and I can't quite grab ahold of it. You've given me food for thought...and that food is filling me up such that I have the strength to make other better choices.

THANK YOU!

May your every day be all you need it to be. May an all abiding peace fill your thoughts, rule in your dreams each night, and conquer all your fears. May God manifest himself in ways you have never before experienced. May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer, and your cares be lifted. I pray that faith enters a new height in you, that your territory be enlarged, and that fulfillment is just one step closer.

MAY GOD ABUNDANTLY BLESS YOU, and those you love, in every way that you require. May he hold you gently in the palm of his hand in a very personal way, and may you rest in the fullness of his love, his grace, his strength, his wisdom, his rescue, his redemption, his healing, his inspiration, his restoration and his mercy as you require it! May you carry in your heart always an extra special awareness of God's great love for you, may you feel his sweet and gentle touch upon your life, and may you see his miracles all around you. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen!

Keep sparkin'!
Ramona

Report Inappropriate Comment
TNTEACHER2 2/23/2010 9:23PM

    Hi, John,
I see you have quite a following for your blog. You did very well with your acquaintance. Maybe now he will pick on someone else when he wants his luch paid for. And your salad lunch was great! Good for you!
Marcy


Report Inappropriate Comment
CRYSELLE 2/23/2010 7:09PM

    What an awesome blog!!! Great job of addressing the issues of toxic people. Oh draining they can be. That took courage, and I applaud you for it! What a wonderful, freeing thing it is to love ourselves enough to get rid of the people who feed off of us, but still love them enough to leave the door open to them for if they want to be healthy in our lives in the future. That is awesome!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WANDAH3 2/23/2010 5:53PM

    Job well done! This journey to health is not only about the body becoming healthy, it's about everything in our lives. I have had to withdraw from some people in my life also because of the toxicity in the relationship. It was only dragging me down and back to a place I no longer wanted to be. I have found that as I have become healthier in mind, body and spirit that a couple of those relationships are now being allowed back in...but...on my terms. My relationship with God is far more wonderful than it has been at any point in my life, because I now place value on myself and live according to what resonates within my spirit. I no longer serve God out of fear, I serve him out of a place of love.
When we replace the negatives in our lives with positives we gain a whole new perspective on life. We learn to set healthy boundaries on what we listen to, how we speak and who we become involved with. That doesn't mean that we throw those relationships into the garbage completely...we can still pray for them to find their own place of peace and contentment.
A difficult thing that you did, but if it feels right in your spirit, then it was the right thing to do. You may just have been the spark that God needed to use to reach this person and for him to begin his own life changing journey.

Hugs,
Wanda

Report Inappropriate Comment
GIRANIMAL 2/23/2010 4:38PM

    Wow, GOOD for you for finding the strength to stand up for yourself! I think what you did took major courage -- both with this person and with the pizza joint, as others have said. Thank you so much for sharing -- I felt empowered just reading this blog!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NJMATTICE 2/23/2010 11:54AM

    Victorious! Good job.
-nj

Report Inappropriate Comment
YOYONOMORE1 2/23/2010 10:41AM

    John, great job of addressing the issue of toxic people and how they can affect our lives if we continue to hang with them. I have a couple ladies that live here and the one in particular is so negetive and everytime she engages me in a conversation it always ends up with her critizing me for something, so I still speak to her, but I no longer let her engage me in converstaions. We will always encounter these people in our lives, so we need to learn how to handle them, and you did a marvelous job of doing exactly that. Keep on loving yourself.

Hugs,
Shirl

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINDAC20 2/23/2010 9:52AM

    Good for you! You did the right thing. Life is too short to spend it with toxic people.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRIPLE_EMME 2/23/2010 9:45AM

    I'm so proud of you for taking the steps to change the dynamic of these relationships: 1) relationship with the toxic "friend" and 2) relationship with the pizza joint.

I hope you feel better soon!



Report Inappropriate Comment
CMBELISLE 2/23/2010 9:35AM

    I can relate to the toxic people issue and love how you described everything that happened and how you knew it would turn out before you even got there. I also love the fact that your found a way for your favorite pizza place to not be so toxic for you - you found a way to navigate the menu without closing your arteries.

Feel better soon - even sick, you write well!

Report Inappropriate Comment
STAN5FAM 2/23/2010 8:27AM

    Another fantastic blog John. I am so very proud of you and your choices. You are an inspiration. Maybe it was a light bulb moment for him too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STORMTMB 2/23/2010 8:26AM

    You nailed it, John. You were direct and succinct. Who knows, maybe your acquaintance will want the same thing for himself. You told him what he needed to hear. You may never know how he benefits from it. Anyway, you made good choices. Hope you're feeling better today.

Tina

Report Inappropriate Comment
FOXEYES2 2/23/2010 8:24AM

  Dude, that is one of the most awesome things I have ever read.
Yes you got to love yourself enough to walk away from people that are unhealthy for you. I am finding that for me this journey is about more than exercise and portion control and eating the right things it is also about mental well being.
So great job and don't waver or back down if he calls you and wants to play the same old tired scene. Peace.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOLLBABE56 2/23/2010 8:01AM

    John, I'm very proud of you. And, you are so right about there being toxic people. Negativity begets negativity. I am really making an effort to be more positive in my thinking and speaking. Sometimes this is very hard, but more and more I catch these thoughts and turn them around to a positive. What you did was a very brave thing to do. It was very freeing also. You also did great with your meal. The hardest thing to do is to be kind to ones self after a lifetime of putting others first.

Good on you! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/23/2010 8:02:21 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITEACHKIDS81 2/23/2010 7:57AM

    Good for you! I'm glad you stood up for yourself and I'm glad you ate a healthier option. It is so hard to face temptation like that and not fall back into the old ways. With pizza, I still can't only have just 1 slice. Good for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 Last Page