Tuesday, July 01, 2014
Joan used to do the book keeping for a family owned store. They hired her away from another company paid her a great salary and gave her benefits plus a pension and a 401K. About 2 years after she began working for them two of our kids were diagnosed with ADD. We spent a boat load of money with evaluations, psychologists, educators, etc to make sure. ADD can often be a dismissive diagnosis. Kid acts out, give kid pill, everyone is happy. Matt and Maggie were both struggling to keep up in school and had a hard time concentrating. The medication helped them create strategies to cope with their disability. Both are still on medication today at age 36 and 30.
We filled the prescriptions to the tune of $275 per month. Joan filed it on her insurance and a few days later the store owner called her in his office. They weren't paying for the prescription because they believed ADD was a form of demonic possession and they could give us the name of few good faith healers. All of this was spoken with a straight face.
So we had a decision to make. We had 6 kids, in private school, which meant tuition etc,.etc. $250 per month was a lot of money to us then. Joan decided to look for another job, one that would cover the prescriptions with its health insurance.
The family owned store lost its best employee. A year or so later they went out of business and one of the family members told me that they were lost once Joan decided to leave. They made the choice to honor their beliefs and Joan made hers.
Joan loved her job and yeah, she thought it wasn't fair and they should cover the prescriptions, but they made a choice; so she made hers.
The Supreme Court never had to decide who was right here Joan or the store owner. That's because no one made anymore of the situation then it really was. I think their reason for not covering the medication was a bit bizarre, but there is this document called the Constitution. It give us, all of us, rights and with those rights come choices.
A company doesn't want to cover your prescription or your procedure that's their right, and with it comes the possibility that some of their best performers make choices to work elsewhere.
And when it comes down to it isnt that what our lives are all about--- Choices?
Sunday, June 29, 2014
The story goes that two men were walking to church, deep in a discussion. The first man said, "I wonder if it's okay to smoke while you pray?" The second man said he didn't know and suggested the first man ask the preacher.
The preacher looked the man in the eyes and said "Absolutely not!!! It's an abomination to God. How disrespectful to light a cigarette while you are praying....."
The second man thought a moment and asked "Preacher, can I pray while I'm smoking." The preacher beamed. "Of course my son, you can pray anytime, regardless of what you are doing."
I've been married for 40 years to the same wonderful person. I am OCD, she is tidy but relaxed. In other words, she'll fold her laundry, set it on the kitchen table and take it upstairs when she next goes upstairs. (It drives me crazy!!!) Used to be I'd say something like "Aren't you going to put that away?" Her answer usually was "If it bothers you so much why don't you put it away?"
Things sorta went down hill from there, lol.
But never let it be said I don't learn. Instead of confronting or attacking or suggesting she lacks moral fiber because she can be a bit messy I'll ask if there is anything I can help her with or I was looking for a change of scenery today and instead of working in my office downstairs I was going to work on the kitchen table. The response I get is either "If you want to help you can put the towels in the down stairs bathroom" or "Oh, okay, if you are going to work here today, let me clear off the table for you."
She doesn't feel attacked or criticized and I don't have to take a Valium.
The door swings both ways. Joan gets her best results from me when she starts with "What do you think about......." It gives us both options and within those options are choices.
The question I am asked most often in my business is "John, how do I get my point across?"
My answer is always the same:
"It's not what you say, it's how you say it."
Friday, June 27, 2014
About half way home from Charleston on Sunday I remembered that I'd forgotten to ask Julia to water my tomato plants when she came to feed the dogs. After we unpacked I went in the back yard and surveyed the damage. Thank goodness there is no agency for tomato abuse or I'd be cooling my heals in a jail cell somewhere. Wilted would be using a polite word. The temperature had hovered around 90F all the time we were gone so I broke out the hose and soaked them for about an hour hoping they would revive.
By yesterday afternoon they'd come back about 75% A few of them had some dead leaves and stalks and after my walk this morning I pruned them away. What remains are healthy plants. They are not pretty but they are healthy.
While I was snipping away it dawned on me that I'm not much different than those tomato plants. From time to time I don't feed my body, mind and soul the right way and I have to go through the painful process of pruning away the dead stalks so what remains can be healthy and allowed to prosper.
It's why you and I have Spark People. Our food journal, our exercise tracker and that ever so despised weight tracker are all signs of healthy growth or where we may need to snip and prune to get back on track.
It's not always pleasant, this journey we call life. Just about the time we think we have it all figured out, something, somewhere pops up on the path and way lays us. That's where the pruning comes in --- adjusting our workouts and our food intake. I dont enjoy it one bit; yet in the end, like the reshaped tomato plant, it may not look pretty, but its healthy
Thursday, June 26, 2014
I was cleaning out a file folder yesterday and found these. I'm not sure who wrote them but I must of thought they were valuable enough to hide so good that even I couldn't locate them.
7 Steps For Success
Take 100% responsibility for your life
Be clear why you are here
Decide what you want
Believe it is possible
Believe in yourself
Expect the best
Commit to setting goals
It struck me that most effective solutions aren't really all that complicated. It's just that there is no magic wand.
Some days I wish there were
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