JOHNSMOM4   8,247
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Cancer and weight loss

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

I found out right after my birthday last month that I have breast cancer. I had a mastectomy on Feb. 22nd. Physically I am doing good but emotionally, I am a wreck. I go to the oncologist tomorrow to set up my Chemo treatments. I went thru this with my late husband and I saw what the Chemo did to him and it scares me to death. Altho I would go thru it all again with him, I am worried about putting my new husband thru it. We have only been married less than two years and he has some bad heart problems. I don't want to put any more stress on him.
I will probably lose weight on the Chemo but it is not the way that I want to lose it. My late husband lost from 254 to 135.
Anyone have any encouraging words for me?? I could sure use them right now. Thanks.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOHNSMOM4 3/14/2013 2:12AM

    Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. I just need to take a more positive attitude toward what is going on. There has never been any breast cancer in my family that I know of. emoticon
Just woke up with my blood sugar down to 52. Clammy and shaky. Ate some peanut butter. Feeling better now.

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1CRAZYDOG 3/13/2013 7:57PM

    HUGS sweetie. It is daunting to have to go thru. Do your research, write down your questions. Chemo affects everyone a little differently. Before beginning chemo, find out what kinds of foo(s) are recommended and stock up on them. Do you have a support system in place for helping out if your DH needs to be away for whatever reason? These plans might put your mind @ ease a little bit.

Above all, are you connected with the Y ME for support? You need to get involved with others going thru what you're going thru and facing. That helps so much.


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BARB4HEALTH 3/13/2013 7:40PM

    I have a SIL going through chemo and has two more treatments to go through and has not lost her hair. Hers was precautionary. They are pretty sure all the cancer is gone. My Mom did not do chemo or radiation after her mastectomy and lived another 42 years. The last 10 years of her life she had some small skin cancer spots removed, but lived a very happy productive life. I am hoping and praying you do well on the path to recovery. emoticon

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DARLY55 3/13/2013 6:22PM

    I understand your feelings, I would be reluctant to go through chemo, too, since I too, took care of my husband through his treatments. However, the kind of chemo you will be getting may be different and not so extreme as his was. I have several friends who have gone through chemo after breast cancer surgery and did lose some weight, but bounced back quickly and have been feeling great since. Two of my friends didn't even lose their hair. Good luck to you, take good care, and eat very healthy foods. I iwll include you in my prayers. emoticon

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ALIHIKES 3/13/2013 3:39PM

    So sorry you are facing this battle with cancer. I have 2 friends that have remained cancer free for years -- 12 and 20 so far for each. One did lose some weight but not massive amounts like your late husband; the other remained at a stable weight (she took lots of alternative health care steps, like meditation and herbs). Recent friends have told me the new anti-nausea medications do WONDERS. emoticon

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PANSYGAL 3/13/2013 3:12PM

    You are alot braver than you think! You have been through so much but have remained strong and God will be with you no matter what. Let your family take care of your husband to make sure he doesn't overdo, and you take care of yourself so you can fight this battle! emoticon . My prayers will be with you and your family. God's blessings!

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BAMAJAM 3/13/2013 3:11PM

  What a beautiful picture on your blog! I am sorry about the cancer, but some good words for you---- My aunt had a mastectomy, and she continued to live a long and normal life until she passed at age 89. Too, since my Aunt Rose's surgery, there are so many more advances in the treatment. I hope that you will be blessed with excellent care--and that you will find supportive friends and family.
The Sparkpeople teams truly offer comfort and concern also.

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PLUMERIA50 3/13/2013 3:09PM

  I have no direct experience with what you are going through, but I have family and friends who have gone through chemo. I am going to add you as a friend and commit to pray for you and your husband, your family and your caregivers. You are not alone. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Christmas without loved ones

Monday, December 12, 2011

This will be my 11th Christmas without my son and my 13th without the love of my life. I miss them very much and have been a little depressed lately. But I have to remember the Reason for the season and how He has helped me thru all of these years. I sometimes wish that I could just go on and be with them but then I remember that I have another son and three grandchildren to live for.

And I believe that God is not finished with me yet and that He has a reason for me to still be here. So I get up every morning and thank God for another day.
So be thankful for the life that you have. Try to help others who are less fortunate than you. You will find that helping others also helps you.
And don't forget to help yourself by staying on your Sparkpeople program. That is one Christmas present that I am giving myself.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYGSC 12/12/2011 10:55PM

    I'm so thankful that I have the Lord to comfort me! I can tell you feel the same way. So sorry for your loss loved ones. I too have lost a son, he was my youngest child and it has only been a year, this past November. I've also lost a younger sister, my mother and my father. There are three of us siblings left and I have two more sons and six grandchildren. I'm so thankful for them all and one day when I meet my maker, I pray I will see my family again!! Be blessed and have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Jesus is the reason for the season!

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LAVEL33 12/12/2011 10:20PM

    Sorry for ur lost. I too lost 1 of my brothers 18 yrs ago, and my father 14 yrs ago. That's something you never forget when you lose people you love, but life goes on. I have 2 children & 8 grandkids myself, and they keep in contact with me. Well, you try to enjoy the holidays anyhow. At least you have your "sparkpeople friends" to encorage you. "Lavel"

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FUNKYG1 12/12/2011 6:56PM


Live for your other son and your grandchildren. Teach the grands about their grandfather and uncle so they may come to life at this time of year.

I lost my mom just before Christmas last year so I know how hard it is on you to be without loved ones. Our grandsons still ask if they can see Tutu (Hawaiian for grandmother) so I show them a picture of her and they seem okay with that. I am so glad she got to know so many of her great grandkids.

Have a Merry Christmas.



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DARLENEK04 12/12/2011 6:29PM

  I am so sorry for your losses. But God does have a plan.
In His time..

I lost both sets of grandparents, my Dad and one of those
G'ma's within 2 weeks; both my brothers are gone also. I
can so empathize....



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GARDENQE2 12/12/2011 1:00PM

    No one is poor who has memories and friends!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/12/2011 10:50AM

    Blessings and peacw to you now and throughout the new year. DEFINITELY He still has plkans for you . . . I feel the same way for myself!!!

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PYNETREE 12/12/2011 10:23AM

    The older we get...the harder the Holidays are. Those memories we treasure,losses, added over the years, become a crepe we drape like decorations around each years holidays.

And it's a real part of what a life is..if it's rich, we have treasures...and loss of those we treasured. But a life that was poor, with just their self, doesn't add on those treasures, so it never really has those losses to miss. Given that , most of us would still chose to have the rich life, even though it's hard to go on feeling the loss, so heavily around the holidays.

So, count your blessings, and count on God to get you through these Holidays. emoticon emoticon Best Wishes, and strength to live Richly!

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NANT406 12/12/2011 9:37AM

    I'm sorry for you losses. I lost my mom and my brother (who was more like a son), so I can relate to how you're feeling. May you have a blessed holiday season.

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Sunday, September 04, 2011

Being a minister's daughter, Sundays have always been special days for me. Going to church with my brothers and my sister and mt Mom and dad was the highlight of my week. Although I prayed and praised the Lord everyday, Sunday always mad me feel closer to him.
I gave my heart to God when I was nine years old. I began singing specials with my twin brothers who were 18 months older than me. When their voices started changing they quit singing, but singing brings me such joy and peace that I still sing at church, in the car, at home. Anytime I am feeling down, a song will pick me right back up. I love singing HIS praises.
Hope all of you are having a blessed Sunday. Now I am ready to go back to church tonight and praise HIM some more. My God is an emoticon God.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DPJAMES59 9/4/2011 7:44PM

  It's good to hear from somebody who enjoys church instead of reasons why we shouldn't have to go. emoticon

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SETAGOAL1 9/4/2011 6:00PM

    I love singing too. I too gave my life to God at 8 years old. I had no clue what was ahead of me.

I am so glad to hear you are remembering the good times.

God is so Good.

Have a peaceful week my friend.


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Monday, July 04, 2011

My husband of 32 yrs died in Feb. of 1998 of cancer. In July of 2000 I lost my youngest son. He was 23 and had a heart attack. My husband was ill for fourteen months, but my son went so suddenly that I did not get to say goodbye. My sister, who was my best friend died in August of last year. I miss them all very much.
Do you ever stop grieving for them? I know they are in Heaven and that I will see them again someday. I have a hard time dealing with it sometimes. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CINDERRELIC 10/25/2011 11:47AM

    I understand your grief. I have lost my Dad, my husband, my favorite aunt, and my best friend since grade school in the last few years and miss them all so much. I think we will always encounter that feeling of loss when our mind takes those old paths to the places they filled in our hearts and rediscovers that the memories are there but they are physically missing and we can no longer hold them and touch them.

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WARMSPRINGDAY 8/7/2011 11:45AM

    Wow, you have had a lot of losses in a very short time. I don't have answers for your questions, but I want you to know I care and want to be here for you if you need to talk.

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KAT7457 7/30/2011 3:41PM

    I am so sorry for the loss of your family members.I lost 2 family members to suiside in 2008 and lost my fiance all in 2008 lost my mom when i was 13, the grieving was hard for me at first i know they are in heaven and i talk to them exspecting my mom and fiance.i miss them the most. as time goes on it does get better. take it one day at a time and stay busy and vent, cry its all part of grieving.dont ever let anyone tell you to stop grieving. i knew a lady that her children told her to quit crying over her husband. i said that was so wrong everyone is different when it comes to grieving.
I invite you all to come join our team LOST A LOVES ONE ITS A TEAM FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST LOVED ONE AND DEALING WITH GRIEVING oops caps. everyone on the team has lost family members or friends. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon I am here for you. I also just lost a first cousin and his memorial is on aug 3 i havent seen him since i was little and he was only 48 dies of being an alcholic and heart attack.
my thoughts and prayers are with you

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/30/2011 6:56AM

    I am so sorry for all your losses. I lost my father when I was 6 years old and miss him still. I also lost my oldest son and I will never be the same. The first couple of years after Joshua died I was a mess. The grieve gets softer, just give yourself time. emoticon

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PAMMY222 7/6/2011 4:28PM

    I believe that everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. I lost my best friend in 1999 to breast cancer, and not a day goes by that I don't wish she was still here with us. I still cannot put into words how I feel about her death.
I do believe that we will all see our loved ones again, we just go on keeping the memory of them alive.
All my sympathy for your family losses!
Pam emoticon

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TAZIAH 7/4/2011 2:28PM

    I'm so sorry that you have had to endure such loss in your life. Keep the memories close! I'll be keeping you in my prayers. emoticon emoticon

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JAXMOMMY 7/4/2011 12:21PM

    You are not alone in your grief. In 2004 I lost my only sister and brother within 4 months. My sister died in a car accident and she was the only healthy person in our family. In October, my brother, her twin, died from complications of diabetes. I don't think we ever stop grieving, but we do go on and it does get easier. I can't even imagine how it feels for you to have lost a precious young son to a heart attack at age 23! You don't want to forget your precious husband or son and memories sometimes bring sadness. I think Cami gave you some sound advice here. I know people mean the best when they say what they say, but it isn't always comforting or correct! Take it in the kindness they mean it even if it doesn't arrive as kind to your ears! Just know you are never alone and there are others out here who truly understand your pain. Call on any of us any time just to vent or cry or grieve! We are here for you! Remember to care for yourself even while grieving! Love & Hugs, Melissa

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YAQUINDN 7/4/2011 9:36AM

    My parents, including in-laws, all passed away, 3 within 1-1/2 years of each other. I miss them daily and love them always. I take comfort in my faith that we will be together in heaven. For now, I ask God to give us a group hug. His arms can reach all of them and me and share the love that we all feel. I thank God for my memories and try to remember them all with a smile.
I hope that you can soon smile with your memories. God bless you.

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GMACAMI 7/4/2011 2:14AM

    Two years ago I lost my 14 year old granddaughter due to a drowning accident while she was swimming with myself and my other granddaughters- she had epilepsy and had a seizure and drown and there was nothing we could do to save her in spite of the fact that I am a nurse and know CPR. Within 4 weeks of her death I also lost 4 close friends or family members of close friends. It was a very difficult time and I was beginning to wonder if the pain was ever going to let up or if I answered the phone if it was going to be another death call.

I miss Halleigh very much and there are times that I still find a tear in my eye for her.. like now... but the pain does subside and most days I can tell her story without a tear and tell of the remarkable girl she was before the disease of epilepsy robbed her of her spunk and life.

It sounds as if you are stuck in the botom pit of your grief and perhaps could use some grief counseling to assist you to go beyond the losses in your life. Try caling your local Mental Health and ask about their grief counseling...many times it is free or low cost.

I had people try to shove antidepressants down my throat (figuratively) while I was grieving for Halleigh and my friends while others said "pull yourself up by your boot straps and get back to work- that's what you need"... neither of which understood what I needed - time to heal in my own way and time.

You will find your way back out of the darkness of depressive grief to living a happy life again.


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LEANNA1017 7/4/2011 2:00AM

    That is just heartbreaking. You will see them again and you'll be in my prayers.

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LADYRINO 7/4/2011 2:00AM

    I am so sorry for your losses. I am blessed to still have my husband though lost my best friend to cancer years ago. More importantly I too am part of the club that no one should ever have to be a part of - their child passing before them. I will be honest to say there is no moving on for me. I miss them still. The pain has changed. I can enjoy the sunrise and laughter of life with others....but I still have those moments where the pain washes over me like a wave that threatens to drown me. It is those times I hold onto my faith even more and know that it will be ok - I am not alone and some day we will be reunited. I know my daughter and best friend are together in heaven and free of the perils of their failed bodies. Is it easy - no. But that is the price I pay for loving them so much...and today that is ok. I will not tell you to move on - but reach out to others who have walked this path. There are grief support groups here in SP, outside grief groups, professional help. Find the one that helps you and know that you are not alone.

Comment edited on: 7/4/2011 2:00:42 AM

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SMARGED 7/4/2011 1:41AM

    I am so sorry for all your losses! It has to be so hard to lose three family members.

You are right - we will all meet again in heaven, but that doesn't mean that we don't feel the pain of separation now. Even Jesus cried when his friend Lazarus died. I think that all we can do is stay close to Jesus, and ask Him to heal our pain. I don't think the pain ever goes away completely, but I do think it lessens as time passes.

I do pray for you, and ask our Lord to hold you in His arms, and to give you the strength and peace you need.

emoticon Marge

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FITFABME2 7/4/2011 1:37AM

    It's very difficult - but you need to move on and remember them fondly...

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