Where is my place? :(

Thursday, May 17, 2007

It's been a long month since April and I've just recently started working. The thing is, that I am not happy :( and my emotions are in such turmoil because of another big financial mistake I've done. I am trying to help my family get through it because it was my fault but it's the daily work place that frightens me.
I am doing on-call so it's only a 4 day a-week job but the thing is that I am changing job site weekly 2x a week. I am not sure of myself of my abilities, I am so scared of making a mistake.
I did put in applications at place where I was employed about 2 years ago but I still haven't gotten a call back yet, I guess I am just impatient too.
I just don't know where I am supposed to be :( I mean I thought about being the stay at home mom too but I know that I was going into depression and I didn't want that. I also know that while I was home I was just starting to get my health back in order too, so it's like should I return home to care for my health, physically and mentally, or even emotionally. I am so confused, I just wish GOD would tell what to do.
Yet this finacial bind is all my fault and though my family forgives I can not and that guilt also weighs me down. I have been praying for help and for guidance but I feel so lost.
If anyone reads this please pray for us and me for guidance.
GODs blessings to you all
Joanne
Mom to Angel RILEY

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENEICHH 5/18/2007 7:59PM

Hugs to you JoeAnne. I know how it feels to be in the financial bind and feel like it's your fault. I will keep you in my prayers. Have patience - God will answer you when you least expect it. Make sure you are giving your problem up to God so he can take care of it for you. It is such a hard thing to do and it can make you feel so out of control. I just went thru this with my house and it is good right now. It is VERY tight, but things are looking ok and we just have to be very careful. Also, try to set your mind to hearing what God's answer is - I know eventhough I've said I've given something up to him, I will still overthink all of the different scenarios of what if, what should, etc. He will answer you. You said your family has forgiven you, so you need to forgive yourself. Look at your mistake as a learning experience. We already beat ourselves up over so many things and it's not healthy and doesn't help with depression. It is good that you have gone out to work. You need to be around others and sometimes it makes you feel better when you are contributing to both the household and at work. Have confidence in yourself. You were hired because of your abilities, so you can do it. I will keep you in my prayers. Blessings to you and your family, Jenny Report Inappropriate Comment

Being 42

Saturday, April 21, 2007

So my Birthday has passed and I am now 42. It feels so good when friends tell me that I'm still just a baby :) and it's because they are in their 50s and 60s. I just love them for that. It makes me feel like I still got time to do what I must, and that is to lose weight, finish school, watch my grandson grow up, and give as much love as I can to my family.
I feels such a refreshing of my soul and I glad that GOD listened to prayers. I needed it so badly.
Well I am looking forward to tomorrows Church services as I missed last Sunday.
We are finally moved back to our house, but we still have stuff to unpack, I'm just glad it's no rush to do it.
Thats it for updates. Have a blessed weekend Spark friends
Joanne, mom to Angel RILEY

  

Such turmoil :(

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

GOD, I need you more now than ever.....Please
Last week my nephew tried to commit suicide, and he is now at a behaviorial health center. One of my Aunts who had been sick has passed away, ( which is a blessing for her as she was very tired) and I know the family is in such grief. Also my oldest son is back in jail, but he knows it's something he had to face and he's ok with it, but for me it hurts.
Also we have bittersweet news/event and that is our house is finished being renovated and we are in the process of moving back in. It is sad, because my baby boy is not home with us, (he resides in a more beautiful place called Heaven) and it was because of him that this whole process of the renovation was done.
I feel like my soul is tired, and weary. I need an uplifting of GODs grace. Please Spark friends keep us in prayer. Thank you

Joanne
Mom to Angel RILEY

  

Just things

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Well I went to my TOPS weighin yesterday and I knew it wasn't going to be good. I had a gain of 2.25, making it my highest weight ever at 319. I know that constipation has a lot to do with it and I am dealing with that now. I also know my eating was way out of control but I also am improving on it.

I went to Curves first thing this morning and that made me feel a little better, but I will get in a walk this evening too.

Spark friends have a blessed day.
Joanne, mom to Angel RILEY

  

My Weightloss Prayer

Monday, April 09, 2007

Prayer For Dieters

Lord God, it is said that every journey begins with
one step. For this reason I bring to You my request that
You help me to start to lose weight. Help me to take
the first step to restoration.

I have watched hopelessly as the weight has piled onto
my body. I am now overweight and obese. I excused my
gains with anxiety, aging, metabolism, boredom,
countless things: I can not list the many ways I used excuses
to prevent myself from taking action to begin my
weight loss journey.

I am frustrated and really do not know where to begin.
However, I know the good news that declares, "With God
nothing is impossible." Therefore I bring to You this
problem with my weight, and I cast it at the foot of
the cross as I ask for Your divine help and wisdom.

I pray that You will lead me to a sensible solution
day by day. Keep me from fads, quick gimmicks and yes,
even eating disorders as I try to bring my weight down
again to a normal range.

We are told that patience is a virtue, and I pray that
as this weight dissipates at a slower rate then the
gain appeared that I might do my part day by day with
the gift of the Holy Spirit operating--and that is
self-control.

I ask that You might lead me to information and
support that would set me free from this bondage I appear to
have with food.

I ask that You might give me a clear mind at every
meal that I will not overindulge, but eat only my daily
bread that is promised to us.

I ask that You might teach me about choices and
nutrition that I might give up the foolish things that I eat
in lieu of healthy choices.

I ask that I might be in health as Your Word promises
by beginning to eat in a healthy manner.

I ask that You bless my efforts and keep me far from
discouragement as I begin this journey.

I thank You, Lord that no need is to small or
significant that I can not bring it to Christ.

I plead with You, Lord for help in this area that is a
real sore spot with me.

Help me Lord, to be a good witness in all I do: Eat,
drink, whatever. Restore me to a normal body size, and
I do promise to glorify Your name, through Christ
Jesus. Amen

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENEICHH 5/18/2007 8:02PM

What an awesome prayer! I am so glad I read this. Hugs to you JoeAnne Jenny Report Inappropriate Comment