Sunday, March 25, 2007
As each day passes, I am seeing the hope that my Lord, has given and I am ready to live forward.
I am doing my best to not let myself fall in to dispair as their are many who need my help. I know I must get my body in the best possible shape so that I can do what is required of me.
My goals this week are to attend Curves 3 times, walk 3 times and eat less carbs. I will journal my food, and daily life in paper journal for now. I will seek out those who may need me, and go where GOD tells me. I will read his word daily, to feed my soul.
GOD please give my guidance, comfort and confidence as I begin this new week. Thank you, Father, Amen.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Take a pill!
I wish all of life were that easy. Take a pill to be
Happy, energized, motivated, not sad, not hungry.
BUT it's not.
I did take a pill to help me sleep last night, and I do feel a little better today. BUT, my sadness still threatens to overcome me, and I don't know what to do to get thru it. I miss my son so very much and yet I feel comfort in knowing he is in Heaven so why can't I live forward, why can't I feel happiness?
Yesterday I felt if GOD was ready to take me I would go. But, that was not to be, no matter how much I was willing. I do want to stay here and live to see my gandson grow up, but there is no hope or joy to be found in my life except to see the baby . I know my husband is also feeling so much sadness.
GOD if your there, please lift us of this dispair and bring back that joy, happiness and love to my family, we need you in every part of our life. Amen
Friday, March 09, 2007
In my mind, I have so many messages of Love from my baby boy RILEY and from my Lord GOD. How do I express and share that with others is my question, but I do my best when I can.
From my dreams these words/items I remember:
family - Lydia, Camie, Darius, Anthea, RILEY
travel, car, maps
color blue, as sky blue
tell the message - I love you
I feel possible change coming, or is it an renewing, beginning again? I am ready.
Tomorrow the community walking program begins and I will be there at 7:00 AM. I'll be praying for this program to get me started and be committed to something. I'v missed many days of my Curves classes but I am not giving and I will get back to it.
To my friends, thank you for your prayers and concerns, they are much appreciated.
GODs love and blessings to you all :)
mom to Angel RILEY
Friday, March 02, 2007
Remembering my son RILEY
Friday, March 3, 2006
It was a cool crisp morning when GOD called to RILEY.
Even though he wanted to stay he knew he had to leave, for Angels were waiting to take Him to Heavens pearly gates.
He heard his mother calling out his name, as he opened his eyes he looked upon her beautiful face. He gave a look of a thousand words, words of comfort.
The first to say, "Don't worry mom, I'll be okay, I Love You, I'll wait for you at Heavens gate."
As she called his name one last time, again he opened his eyes and this time as if to say, "It's time for me to go but do not worry for I am no longer in pain, for God and Grandma are waiting for me to fly on Angels wings."
"Just remember I Love You Always and I won't be far away and when you began to feel lonely remember all our fun time together and Smile for Me......."
mom to Angel RILEY
Sunday, February 18, 2007
As the day draws nearer (Friday March 2) I am falling into such dispair. I have lost sight of hope, No I FEEL like there is no hope.
I miss my baby boy so much that, all I want now is to go there to Heaven to be with him. I know it is impossible, because GOD requires that I fulfill my work here and that is to protect my grandson. I dreamed this very thing last night, and that was the thought that ran through my mind as the event unfolded in that dream.
To my Son, my RILEY, I love you baby always and forever.
To my LORD and Saviour, please come quickly so that we all may be with you. And Father I ask that while I wait, that you take the wheel of my life and take me in the direction I must go.
In JESUS CHRIST's name, AMEN!
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