JODROX   40,363
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Monday, August 22, 2011

It's becoming obvious to me that I am in a state of flux with regard to my dedication to my fitness efforts and my grieving. It's not steady progress.

This I know about dieting and exercising, from a lifetime of yoyo dieting. It was all or nothing. This year was different. I actually stuck with it for 4 months and got myself in better shape. Now, oh boy, am I having a hard time sticking with it for more than a few days at a time. Thank God I haven't gained it all back! As soon as I go up a few pounds, I panic into "behaving" again. Maybe it's just going to continue to be this hard while I'm going through this emotional time.

But that's the other thing. I think I foolishly believed that over time I was going to become less of an emotional wreck, that somehow I was going to be able to cope with losing my dad and be stronger or something. As if it's a steady improvement. I can go a few days without breaking down, though of course he is on my mind all the time. I'm functioning. And then WHAM I have another very weepy, difficult day, and I realize this is how it's going to be. It's not constant improvement until I'm normal again. This is the new normal.

Normal. Such a bizarre concept.

The challenge for me, then, is to finally learn this lesson I've never gotten before. The emotional eating. The stress eating. How to stay healthy through hard times. I think I have the knowledge on how to do this. I'm just not putting it into practice consistently. This week. Can this be the week I stick with it? A whole week of sticking to my August goals. I'm going to give it my best shot again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SONYA_BLADE 8/27/2011 10:46AM

    Congrats on sticking to your plan for four months. That's a huge accomplishment that most people never make.

Every day is going to present a new challenge, but I think if you acknowledge these challenges and log onto to SparkPeople that you'll be able to face them.


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RATFINKROB 8/25/2011 9:54AM

    There is no normal, just life and we can make whatever we want of it. You are stronger than you know. I have no doubt that you can meet your fitness goal and do anything you want with your life. My wife is also struggling with the loss of her father and it is taking a terrible toll on her health. I wish you all the best and am always here if you need talk or just a shoulder to lean on.


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Eiffel Tower Mystery Solved

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A few people have asked what's up with my Eiffel Tower picture. Am I French? Do I live in Paris? Am I in love with the Eiffel Tower?

The story is simple. When choosing a picture, I didn't feel like putting my face up for the world to see. I have had a fascination with France for a long time and quite like this particular vintage photograph. So that's why I chose it. No great mystery.

I lived in France for one semester while I was in college and ever since then have been wanting to take a trip back there. Someday..... Until then, I soak up Frenchy stuff when I can and try to revive my French language skills.

Vive la France!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRAGILEWRITER 8/20/2011 2:48PM

    Thank you!

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RATFINKROB 8/16/2011 2:29PM

    I thought I could see you on the observation deck in that photo. Now I have to wonder who that woman was :)

I took french in college but never had a chance to go. Alas my skills with the language have faded like my youth. On my last trip to London I wanted to take the Chunnel for a quick visit but ran out of time.

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 8/16/2011 10:36AM

    Yes, Vive la France! It's a wonderful country.

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HELLAS2 8/16/2011 10:36AM

    Vive la France! My daughter loves Paris, France, The Eiffel Tower & all things French as well. She is of French heritage on her father's side but has never been to France. But she is dying to go and asked her dad to take her there when she graduates from Grade 12. But she collects anything she can find with the Eiffel Tower on it. She started French Immersion as well which is awesome for her hope she keeps it up. Hope you get to return to France again some day.

emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/16/2011 10:39:06 AM

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After the Hiccup

Sunday, August 14, 2011

I've had a few post-vacation days to get myself back on track, and guess what? I did it! It hasn't even felt hard. I want to do it. I've been running, walking, toning, eating pretty well, and tracking it all. Hurrah! It feels good to do this. I've even lost the two pounds I gained on vacation!

Improvements still needed:

* Get food intake under the limit. I've been going over just a wee tiny bit the past few days.

* Cut back on beer. I really quite like having a beer or two at night. For health reasons, women shouldn't have more than one a day, AND this isn't helping me keep within my calorie limits. It's just a bad habit I've fallen into, and it's time to get smart about it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RATFINKROB 8/15/2011 9:02AM

    I'm glad to hear you are back on track.

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OFF938 8/14/2011 5:01PM

    I stopped twice in the grocery this week, hanging out in the beer aisle. The only reason I didn't buy any was because I can't stand the thought of drinking my calories. At some point I will, but at this point, every calorie I stick in my mouth needs to be filling, because I feel like I am constantly trying to fill an endless space! Oh well, just think of the calories you will save each day if you cut back to one beer. Give it a try and let us know how you feel! We are with you, supporting you all the way!

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Vacation Bloat

Thursday, August 11, 2011

It is so, so, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good to be home. Really. Happy. To be. Home.

I may share vacation stories later, but for now, suffice to say that my so-called "August Goals" were thrown out the window. (Why passive voice? Did anyone other than ME do the throwing?!)

I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overeaten for the past week and did very little exercise to boot. LOSER. (Well, GAINER would be the more appropriate self-insult in this case.)

I had every intention of running on vacation. I packed workout clothes, for Pete's sake! Then, well, things just didn't go as planned. I could've. But I didn't.

I also just plain ate too much. I actually still feel bloated from 6 days of too much food.

So obviously, it is time to let go of this past week and start fresh tomorrow. I do not like feeling this aching in my tummy. Too much food, and too much BAD food.

Tomorrow is August 12. I can still accomplish my goals. Get back on track TOMORROW.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OFF938 8/12/2011 3:43PM

    The cool thing is, every choice is a new beginning. Let your vacation go down in the history books as a wonderful time where you reminded yourself why you don't eat like that on a regular basis any more.

Then, get back on track (hopefully on the same track I'm on!). It's that simple. Accomplish those goals that are attainable and either adjust or let go of those that are not. We will let you make new goals in September! emoticon

I am so glad to have you back. We missed you!

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RATFINKROB 8/12/2011 9:09AM

    Glad your back, have missed you in the team.

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SKYHAWK195 8/11/2011 11:11PM

  there is always tomorrow,

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August Goals

Monday, August 01, 2011

I love to set short-term goals. LOVE IT. They're so do-able -- not the pie-in-the-sky "lose 50 pounds" or "win the lottery" kinds of goals, but "If I just set my mind to it, I CAN DO THIS" kinds of goals. YES. DO IT.

The topic of goal-setting came up on several Spark Teams and made me realize I need to set some new goals to get me back on track. I was inching my way back on the track but kind of randomly. So, I gave it some thought and came up with the following short list:

1) Lose 8 pounds.
2) Stick with my running/workout plans (alternating days).
3) Eat within reason, sticking within my SP nutrition goals for each day.
4) Restart journaling.
5) Tone every day.

I'm excited -- August is off to a good start. I'm sticking with my goals. I can do this!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBERNICHOLE3 8/2/2011 5:27PM

    Great plan!!

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    Excellent and very "doable" goals

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RATFINKROB 8/2/2011 10:00AM

    Goals are great! They give us something to strive towards and a sense of purpose. I am expecting great things from August!

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BEFITANDHAPPY 8/1/2011 11:43PM

    I love short term goals, too! And I love the 5 you chose--those may very well be the ones I choose for this month as well. Let's make August an awesome month! :)

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