Monday, August 22, 2011
It's becoming obvious to me that I am in a state of flux with regard to my dedication to my fitness efforts and my grieving. It's not steady progress.
This I know about dieting and exercising, from a lifetime of yoyo dieting. It was all or nothing. This year was different. I actually stuck with it for 4 months and got myself in better shape. Now, oh boy, am I having a hard time sticking with it for more than a few days at a time. Thank God I haven't gained it all back! As soon as I go up a few pounds, I panic into "behaving" again. Maybe it's just going to continue to be this hard while I'm going through this emotional time.
But that's the other thing. I think I foolishly believed that over time I was going to become less of an emotional wreck, that somehow I was going to be able to cope with losing my dad and be stronger or something. As if it's a steady improvement. I can go a few days without breaking down, though of course he is on my mind all the time. I'm functioning. And then WHAM I have another very weepy, difficult day, and I realize this is how it's going to be. It's not constant improvement until I'm normal again. This is the new normal.
Normal. Such a bizarre concept.
The challenge for me, then, is to finally learn this lesson I've never gotten before. The emotional eating. The stress eating. How to stay healthy through hard times. I think I have the knowledge on how to do this. I'm just not putting it into practice consistently. This week. Can this be the week I stick with it? A whole week of sticking to my August goals. I'm going to give it my best shot again.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A few people have asked what's up with my Eiffel Tower picture. Am I French? Do I live in Paris? Am I in love with the Eiffel Tower?
The story is simple. When choosing a picture, I didn't feel like putting my face up for the world to see. I have had a fascination with France for a long time and quite like this particular vintage photograph. So that's why I chose it. No great mystery.
I lived in France for one semester while I was in college and ever since then have been wanting to take a trip back there. Someday..... Until then, I soak up Frenchy stuff when I can and try to revive my French language skills.
Vive la France!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I've had a few post-vacation days to get myself back on track, and guess what? I did it! It hasn't even felt hard. I want to do it. I've been running, walking, toning, eating pretty well, and tracking it all. Hurrah! It feels good to do this. I've even lost the two pounds I gained on vacation!
Improvements still needed:
* Get food intake under the limit. I've been going over just a wee tiny bit the past few days.
* Cut back on beer. I really quite like having a beer or two at night. For health reasons, women shouldn't have more than one a day, AND this isn't helping me keep within my calorie limits. It's just a bad habit I've fallen into, and it's time to get smart about it!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
It is so, so, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good to be home. Really. Happy. To be. Home.
I may share vacation stories later, but for now, suffice to say that my so-called "August Goals" were thrown out the window. (Why passive voice? Did anyone other than ME do the throwing?!)
I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overeaten for the past week and did very little exercise to boot. LOSER. (Well, GAINER would be the more appropriate self-insult in this case.)
I had every intention of running on vacation. I packed workout clothes, for Pete's sake! Then, well, things just didn't go as planned. I could've. But I didn't.
I also just plain ate too much. I actually still feel bloated from 6 days of too much food.
So obviously, it is time to let go of this past week and start fresh tomorrow. I do not like feeling this aching in my tummy. Too much food, and too much BAD food.
Tomorrow is August 12. I can still accomplish my goals. Get back on track TOMORROW.
Monday, August 01, 2011
I love to set short-term goals. LOVE IT. They're so do-able -- not the pie-in-the-sky "lose 50 pounds" or "win the lottery" kinds of goals, but "If I just set my mind to it, I CAN DO THIS" kinds of goals. YES. DO IT.
The topic of goal-setting came up on several Spark Teams and made me realize I need to set some new goals to get me back on track. I was inching my way back on the track but kind of randomly. So, I gave it some thought and came up with the following short list:
1) Lose 8 pounds.
2) Stick with my running/workout plans (alternating days).
3) Eat within reason, sticking within my SP nutrition goals for each day.
4) Restart journaling.
5) Tone every day.
I'm excited -- August is off to a good start. I'm sticking with my goals. I can do this!
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