Sunday, November 04, 2012
Today I went shopping for, among other things, knee-high black boots. I tried a bunch of different stores and wasn't having any luck. Either the fit wasn't quite right or the price was too high. In the last store I tried, I had a super helpful salesclerk. She gave me fashion advice and brought me different boots that I had overlooked.
I told her what I had in mind. She looked at the boots I tried on and said they were way too roomy in the calf. She said, and I quote, "You have really thin calves." She hustled to the backroom to find something slimmer in the calves while I sat there, marveling that anyone had called me thin ANYWHERE. Me? Thin calves? ME? Is it possible that I'm... THIN?!?!?!?!
While I basked in the glory of potential real-time thinness, I overheard my helpful sales associate consult with another associate. She said, and I paraphrase here: "Can you help me? She's trying to find boots, but we need something really narrow in the calf."
I'm sorry, but this is killing me. I don't have thin anything. Except, okay, truth be told, I have abnormally bony-looking ankles.
So I'm sitting there contemplating how thin my calves are (who knew?!) when ever-so-slowly a thought enters my mind. What else could explain these abnormally small calves?
I'd rather tell a story that is just that -- oooh, lucky thin-calved me. All my hard work paid off and now I'm thin! Woohoo! But no... It doesn't work out that way. Not yet. (Someday I will tell a "Woohoo! I'm Thin!" story.)
The revelation hit me. What else could explain why all these boots are gaping around my calves? Something to do with the proportion..... Oh yeah! My ginormous feet! OH YEAH! I have a bit of a complex about my ginormous feet, which are by all accounts waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long in proportion to my height. So naturally all these boot makers assume that if you have ginormous feet, you must be a tall woman with the larger proportions to fit that BIG FOOT. No, not me. Just big feet, average height.
I got such a chuckle out of this. OMG. I'm still laughing.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
I pretty much blew my goals in October. Stress took over, and, well, I just didn't handle it very well. Too much food, too much drink, too little exercise, too little meditation.
The good news is... Well, actually TWO good newses. (It's a word. I just made it up.)
1. I made it through my stressful event with flying colors. It went wonderfully! (Lesson learned: Don't freak out about upcoming stuff. Energy wasted. Life not enjoyed while you're fretting about future stuff!)
2. I get another chance to get it right. I can put those blunders behind me, reboot, and start over. Today. Now. And that is what I'm doing.
Happy November, everyone!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Now I get to share the news I hoped to be able to share with you all. The event that has been causing me MUCH anxiety, increasingly month by month, culminating in this month me being just really a tight fist of anxiety ready to punch a brick wall -- the event went off without a single hitch!
My nerves, truth be told, were not the best. I didn't sleep well last night, and this morning, I was definitely physically tense. I avoided coffee, knowing that would only amp me up more. I was back and forth between worrying and then feeling that everything really would be okay. I never do this, but as I was putting make-up on in the bathroom, and I gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror, and I actually believed it. I knew that I could handle this. I knew I would be fine.
And so... I got through the event without an ounce of anxiety! I was "in the moment." I wasn't sitting there thinking about myself and worrying if I'd have a panic attack. Seriously. I was just paying attention to the amazing stuff going on around me. Awesome. Uplifting. A relief. I can overcome!
Now I get back to life minus this obsessive worry. Life resumes! I turn my focus back to family and fitness. And I try to absorb these lessons so I handle stress better in the future. We can't avoid stress in life, but we can handle it in a sane and healthy way. That's the goal.
I can't begin to thank my wonderful Sparkfriends enough for your prayers and encouraging words. I believe in the power of prayer. You lifted me and carried me through this tough time. Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU!!!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
I meant to do this middle of the month and here we are two thirds through October! This has been a crazy month for me. Busy and stressful, and it's fair to say I am going to see many Fs on my report card this month.
I've been enjoying a few too many cocktails.
I'm not doing great with the strength training and non-running cardio. But I have been sticking with running three times a week. Except last week.
That 1400-calorie limit has been tough. Very tough. With my stress-churned tummy, I feel hungrier... Excuses, excuses...
Meditating every day would probably help my nerves, right?! Why is this so hard to find time for??
My weight goal is going to be very difficult to hit. At this point I will be happy to not gain this month. I'd love to see a loss, but that will mean serious dedication in the next week. I so want to do better!!!
I know my stressful situation doesn't even compare, but the way I've been dealing with my stress in the last three weeks just made me think of all the stories I've read of people who pour their lives into taking care of a sick family member, and in the meantime end up putting their own health on the backburner and end up gaining a lot of weight. It seems like such a natural reaction to dealing with stress and being too busy. We forget to take care of ourselves and reach out for some small bit of comfort (foods we love), and before you know it, you've gained 10 pounds, 20, 30..... I'm not going to let that happen to me (and trust me, like I said, the stressful thing I'm dealing with is NOTHING like caring for a sick family member 24 hours a day). I just need to find ways of dealing with my stress better. Not resorting to food and drink and obsessive worrying thoughts.
So... I'm going to try to finish out this month better than I've done so far. I know I can do better. And obviously doing WORSE really doesn't help matters, does it? HA! It's not like my stress levels are better because I've been eating and drinking too much, not meditating, and skipping some of my workouts. Hmmmm. This is not rocket science.
Here's to finishing October ... BETTER.
Get An Email Alert Each Time JODROX Posts