Saturday, October 13, 2012
I am not doing well. Stress is getting to me, and my health and fitness goals are falling to the back burner. I know exercise and eating better could help me feel better. I know this. I'm just not coping the best at the moment.
When I say "stress," what I should say is "anxiety." I don't like to talk about it much, mainly because I'd like to think that these issues are behind me, and maybe they are.
I have an anxiety disorder that goes back 10 years (or more? who knows, maybe I had it my whole life but just finally got diagnosed 10 years ago). The very thing that really freaks me out is coming up in a couple weeks, and despite feeling like I've come a long way and maybe this won't be a problem this time, here I am a basket full of nerves. Losing sleep. Eating too much. Tense head to toe. Breathing unevenly. Thinking obsessive thoughts. In other words: FREAKING OUT.
I have a few days off work, so I can make all the preparations I need to -- kind of slow life down and focus on these preparations so at least I can stop obsessing about that.
I'm trying to remind myself about the many, many ways I've improved over the last 10 years. I've done things I never thought I could, as far as facing down my anxiety issues and proving that I can overcome them. I've come so far! I want to slap myself and tell myself to get over it. But that's the funny thing about anxiety. It's not rational. I know my fears are not rational. That doesn't make it any easier to stop obsessing on them.
So that's what's going on with me. Some of you asked, and I really appreciate all the supportive comments. For all my religious Spark Friends, would you pray for me? I feel like I need God and everyone who cares about me to bolster me up with strength and peace and carry me through this event, and all will be fine.
Thank you for reading and for your prayers.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
I know I said I was going to blog about my October goals, but this is more interesting:
This thing has gone viral, so you may have already seen or heard about news anchor Jennifer Livingston's response to a bully who sent her a nastygram, calling her fat and a bad role model.
Her response is so touching, heartfelt, and just plain old true -- I hope you watch it. We are more than our weight and our appearance. Don't judge. That's what it comes down to. Be nice, people. Just be nice.
Monday, October 01, 2012
Let's review how I did on my September goals, shall we? It's back to school time, so I'm giving myself a report card!
ALCOHOL FREE!!! I've actually been AF 37 days now, but who's counting? I would've had a light beer tonight a) if we had any in the house and b) if it fit within my calories, which it doesn't today. I was surprised by how easy it was for me to do this, once I set my mind to it. Now I need to stick with this new plan -- yes, I can have a drink as long as it doesn't put me over in calories. That's the important part.
EXERCISE... Uff da. That just fell by the wayside last month. I went from pushing to run 5 miles to scaling way back due to aches and pains. Honestly I was getting sick of putting so much into it only to have various pains. I think the break did me some good. Now I'm back to running and intend to get back into my strength training routines too.
FOOD!!! This, tied in with going AF, really meant a lot to me in September. I proved to myself that I can stick within range. And I didn't starve. I didn't deprive myself. (Hello, morning pumpkin coffee with creamer! Hello, lunch-time cookie!) I did start to realize though, maybe because of reduced running, that the weight wasn't dropping off by eating at the top of my range. I need to aim for the low to mid range.
MEDITATION... Yeah, I got the meditation pillow and the guided meditation CDs. No, I did not use them. Excuses, excuses, but truly I've been a basket of stress lately. Can't seem to find two minutes to brush my teeth (don't worry, I do manage to squeeze it in... barely!). So I just didn't make time for it. Hmmmmmmmmm, do you suppose meditation could help with my stress levels? YA THINK? Jeez...........
130... The elusive 130 has been my goal every month for, oh, maybe a year. Up a few, down a few, blah, blah, blah. This month I got down to 132 and then bounced up a few for some unknown reason. So overall I was down 4 pounds this month, which is the best I've done in a while. Now I just need to keep the momentum going, which brings us to.....
Eh, I'll blog about that tomorrow. This is long enough already!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Here's the Public Service Announcement I promised.
Many of you know this already, and some of you may have committed this grammatical crime by typo only. But I do believe that many people don't know the difference between loose and lose. And I'm just that nice person who is going to educate them thar folk.
Loose is an adjective. That means it's a word used to describe something. Loose clothing. Loose morals. Loose tooth.
Lose is a verb. That means it's a word that tells what is happening -- an action, generally. A sentence usually goes [subject][verb]. So, for example, "He went" or "Mary shops" or "I like cheese." In those examples, "went," "shops," and "like" are the verbs. They tell you what's happening (dude).
Now comes the quiz. Enter your answer in the comments below. Extravagant goodies to the first 10 sparkers to get it right!
Is LOOSE or LOSE correct in the following sentence?
I want to ____________ weight.
Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
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