Saturday, March 03, 2012
It's been about two weeks now of feeling mildly sick to my stomach with waves of extreme tiredness. I wonder if I have some kind of virus or if it's a food sensitivity... Whatever it is, I'm sick of it. I think I'm over it, and it's back. I felt fine from 6:00 last night until 11:00 this morning, and then I had to lie down.
The thought of trying to do some sort of elimination diet to figure out what could be making me ill, if it's not a virus, just overwhelms me. I do eat a lot of the same stuff day after day, but I've been eating it for 6 months, so why NOW would I be ill from it? Can food issues come on like that?
So I've been napping on and off all day, trying to decide if I should cancel our small gathering tomorrow or wait to see how I'm feeling tomorrow. We're planning to have a bunch of friends over for a Lenten study + dinner. At this point, I am not up for it, but who knows - maybe by tomorrow I'll feel great!? I hope!
Back to the couch.....
Thursday, March 01, 2012
If I can contribute just one thing to world peace today, it is this:
Do not honk at people for following traffic law!
This has happened to me twice lately. People are in such a blasted hurry to get where they're going that they don't give a hoot that you're actually driving according to the prescribed rules of the road, e.g. stopping at red lights.
I put this in the category of trampling old people in Walmart on Black Friday. "Rules and common decency be damned! It's all about MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" What is this world coming to?
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Hi…. Hello…. Bonjour… I haven’t had much to say for a while. I think about blogging every now and then and am just so not sure what to say that I think WHY BOTHER?! Sometimes I have something deep and profound (or so I think) but I stop myself because I’m not sure yet if I really believe these formulating thoughts or if I’m grasping at some truth, trying to make sense of my dad’s death, as if I can.
For today, I am glad, delighted, and exuberantly grateful to have good friends to share my life with. The ups and downs and all the ugly / complicated / joyful stuff. What on earth would we do if we didn’t have someone we could share all the joys and sorrows with? The laughs over stupid stuff? The tears over painful losses? The thoughts we’re a little bit ashamed to admit, but once we do, we know it’s okay? THANK GOD for these people God so blessed us with. To know us and not judge. To love us, warts and all.
My life right now is – as always – blazing by at the speed of light with me acting as the scrappy little dog chasing behind, snapping at its heels. Wait for me! Wait for me! Truly, I can’t keep up. I’m doing the best I can. And yet I do a little self-flagellation daily. I could do better if I just MANAGED MY TIME BETTER. As if better time management magically added 4 hours to the day and gave me the energy and will to do the stuff I DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYWAY. That’s my problem, I guess. I’m one of those idealists. In my ideal world, I’d be living like Joel Salatin. But the truth is that I do not have the gumption for all that hard physical work. Every time we have some big project around the house that means a full day of hard physical labor, I get so bored and impatient with it that I manage to disappear for large chunks of the day. Ask me to bake all day or proofread your newsletter and I’M THERE, but ask me to weed a vegetable garden and I will find an out – much as I admire and, in fact, aspire to vegetable gardening. I feel like the most noble of earth’s caretakers for the first 30 minutes and then MY GOD how much longer is this going to take?!?!?!?!
And so I trudge on, doing the best I can, knowing I could do better, but for today, this is my best, and if my loved ones know how much I love them, that is all that matters to me.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I haven’t felt much like blogging lately… I’m in “hunker down” mode, trying to rekindle my motivation, figure out what’s eating me, get back on track in all areas of my life. Gee, that doesn’t sound overly ambitious or anything!
So far, my running is the one area of consistency. I’m sticking with it and making steady, slow improvements, even if some days feel more difficult than I think they should. I know that if I keep at it, I will get stronger, leaner, and faster. There will be those tough days due to who knows what -– lack of sleep, stress? But the important thing is to keep running. It’s my one salvation.
Eating… I’m doing okay. It seems to be important for me to get back in my routines. But on the other hand, I think this is a little OCD to eat how I eat. I’m okay with that, for now. Maybe I just need to stick with that for now to reestablish better eating habits after the Christmas gorging.
Quite a few areas still need major work, but I know what everyone says: stop beating yourself up and appreciate the good stuff you’re doing. That is true. Maybe I need to quit trying to tackle all 499 issues in my life. Get a handle on 1 or 2 and then add the 3rd… and the 4th…
So. Run. Eat right. Then… who knows… the sky is the limit!
Footnote: I recently heard something on the radio about weight loss and people who lost a lot of weight and maintained it. Their secret? *Obsessive* food tracking and working out an hour a day. Hm. Maybe my OCD eating style is a good thing!
Monday, January 09, 2012
My last rant was a real downer, and that's not who I want to be. That's not how I see myself or how I've been over the last year. Whatever is at the root of this funk... It's time to "Snap out of it!" (Where is Cher when you need her?)
The cold hard reality is that the rest of this weight is not going to come off if I'm eating at the top of my nutritional range or slightly over -- or, as happened a couple times last week, a lot over. It's time to get serious about this. I know what I need to do. I've done this before (lost 25 pounds last year).
Many thanks to my Spark friends for encouraging me and motivating me and having the guts to be honest. Gee, Jody, you're not gonna meet your goals if you're eating like that! Yeah... I need to hear that. THANK YOU!
Today I begin again.
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