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Conquering Fear

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Yesterday I had the thing at work that I was totally dreading. I taught an online class. I've never done anything like this and pretty much NEVER EVER EVER do public speaking. I can get pretty tongue-tied. Deer in headlights.

But I agreed to do this when I was asked two months ago. And I thought, "This is so good for me!" Ha... Yes, I knew it would be good for me career-wise and personal-growth-wise if it went well. If not... well, let's not go there.

So I prepared. A lot. I actually felt pretty good about the whole thing until I did a run-through with a colleague. I wanted some practice and any suggestions for improvement. However, this guy gave me so many suggestions on everything I was saying and doing that it really rattled my confidence. I had to step back and realize that he was trying to be helpful. He's just a real "take charge" kind of person who loves to hear himself talk. I took some of his suggestions and left the rest. It wasn't like I had time to go back to the drawing board. It was my presentation, after all, and it had to flow naturally for me.

So, long story short, I did the class yesterday, and it went just fine. Once I got into it, I got over that heightened fear sensation and was able to just talk through the whole thing naturally. This is HUGE for me. I have a history of panic attacks, so being able to overcome that and function like a normal person makes me SOOOOOO HAPPY!

We have part 2 of the class today, and I know it will be just fine now. Remember that part in Harry Potter where he is able to cast a Patronus because he knew that he already had? He saw himself do it when he had time-traveled back, and he thought it was his dad, but really it was himself. That says so much to me about the importance of confidence. If you believe that you can, you can.

To be honest, trying to build my confidence back up, I reminded myself that I never thought I could run either. And I proved that I could do it. Running has been such a confidence builder for me!!

Ok, that's all for now. I just had to share my success story with you. Thanks for your supportive comments and positive vibes! I really appreciate them!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALIGIRL 6/20/2014 8:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 6/20/2014 7:52AM

    I knew you could do it!

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INGMARIE 6/19/2014 2:09PM

    emoticon emoticon congrats.

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SAFARIBABE 6/19/2014 12:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JACKIE542 6/19/2014 11:11AM

    So happy for you, good job emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Middle of June Already?!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Summer is way too short! With our cold start to summer and school getting out so late, it is just now starting to feel like summer. I tell ya what, I'm taking a day or two off as soon as I get this class done. I feel like I need to kick back and enjoy the great outdoors.

Last night I went for a long, fast walk and found a little stray dog along the way. I stopped and tried to find the owner, and contemplated keeping the little dog myself -- he was a little sweetie! Eventually the owner drove up -- she was frantically searching for him. He didn't have a collar or tags. The topic of getting a second dog keeps coming up around here. Maybe.....

Today is a stretch and strengthen day for me, according to the half marathon training plan I'm following. On my last S&S day, I didn't do a whole lot -- maybe 20 minutes. So I'm thinking I need to come up with something a little more rigorous.

Happy Tuesday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAFARIBABE 6/18/2014 11:14AM

    I just read an article about strength training for runners. Here's the link.

As for stretching, I've become a total foam roller fanatic. If you haven't tried it, it works wonders on the IT band.

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KALIGIRL 6/18/2014 8:31AM

    Here's to kicking back and enjoying the summer!

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KNYAGENYA 6/18/2014 7:40AM

    Sounds great!

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JACKIE542 6/17/2014 10:09PM

    Always nice to take time to smell he roses, you deserve time to kick back.

Glad you tried to help the little dog, you are a sweetie, nice the owner came along. I am forever taking dogs home always happy when they have tags.
Happy Tuesday to you too emoticon emoticon

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INGMARIE 6/17/2014 4:12PM

    Aw glad she found her dog, you should surely get another one emoticon
Take some time off sounds great, I am retired so I am always off
(one way or another) so my break is : I am going to work 3 days next week

Have a great day.

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Day 3: Happy

Monday, June 16, 2014

I'm happy to report that I stuck with my goals yesterday!

I ran 3 miles. It was windy and humid, and so my pace was slower. I listen to RunKeeper updates while I run, so I knew my pace was slower than it felt. I tried to push a little harder, but somehow couldn't get much faster. I'm not used to running outside, in heat, so I'm assuming that's what was slowing me down.

By the end of the day I was at 1506 calories! I was so excited about that, because I didn't feel deprived or hungry. Then my husband and son got home from being gone all day, and he made a late supper. Hamburgers. I'm not a big meat eater. He's been experimenting with adding all kinds of flavor to hamburgers lately -- really spicing them up. And boy, did they smell good! So when my son offered me the last few bites of his burger (he was full), I didn't resist. Yum! And that put me over in calories by 20 again. Oh well.

My weight is down 2.5 from the high a few days ago. Thank God. I never ever ever wanted to see 130 again. Jee I guess I have to actually DO something about that other than want it. Eat right. Exercise. Yup yup yup.

The other "news" I should probably just get out of my system is that I have a thing coming up at work that I am absolutely dreading. Let's be honest. When the opportunity came up to teach an online class, I said yes, despite the fact that I have never done anything like this and I have a massive performance anxiety issues. I thought, "This will be good for me!" etc... And it will... if it goes well :) I have 2 more days to practice and prepare.

Any advice or encouragement about overcoming fears and faking confidence would be much appreciated!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALIGIRL 6/17/2014 8:19AM

    You'll do emoticon and emoticon on emoticon

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SAFARIBABE 6/16/2014 5:24PM

    I've done a lot of teaching for work. And over the years I've become very comfortable speaking before an audience of people I know. A few years ago, I was asked to speak at a national conference. I was scared to death. These would all be strangers and some of them might know more about the topic than I did. What I learned was 1) Be prepared. If you know your topic you'll be fine and will be able to handle any question forwarded to you. 2) Do not overprepare! You don't want to come off wooden as though you memorized everything you wanted to say verbatim. 3) Noone throws objects at the speakers. I've attended a lot of regional and national conferences and never saw a single tomato thrown at a speaker. 4) Be yourself! Pretend like you're talking to one person instead of 10, 20, 100, whatever.

Good luck with your lecture!! emoticon

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JACKIE542 6/16/2014 2:16PM

    Hot weather always makes me slow, but I am slow, so the fact that you are out there is a big plus. Good job on just eating a few bites of that burger, my son makes some really great ones too.
I think you will do well on your online class, I use to worry too, but it sure sounds like you are prepared, so don't worry, be happy. emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 6/16/2014 10:47AM

    I'm a big fan of fake it until you make it. You know your stuff...there is nothing to worry about.

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Day 2: Feeling Better

Sunday, June 15, 2014

I have one good day under my belt (yesterday) and am feeling better about my ability to get back on track.

I played tennis with my son yesterday AND did stretching and strengthening (according my half marathon training plan) AND ate well. I was over by 20 calories, but I'm NOT gonna sweat 20 calories. 20 is forgivable! LOL

Keep my eating in the good range
Run 3 miles
Clean the house
Run some errands
Spend some quality time with the fam!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!
Thinking of my dad today, I feel so blessed to have had a wonderful father... so many wonderful memories..... Miss you, Dad!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIE542 6/15/2014 7:35PM

    Good job!! emoticon emoticon

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INGMARIE 6/15/2014 7:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 6/15/2014 7:09PM

    You are doing great!

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Oh Boy... Starting Over Again

Saturday, June 14, 2014

A person can only lie to themselves so long before the truth catches up to them. I felt like I was doing okay with eating whatever I want, without being too terribly piggish about it, and without gaining weight. I was only 3 pounds over my Biggest Loser finale weight. And I was getting back into a good running routine.

And then, ever so gradually, the scale caught up with me. You can't eat like that and maintain or lose weight! Can't!

My weight this morning was a rude awakening. I HAVE TO track my food, and I HAVE TO keep my calories in check, or I WILL gain back all the weight I worked so hard to lose! I keep saying that.................. For two months now I've been struggling to find the balance -- somewhere between obsessively light eating and all out piggishness. There HAS TO be a middle ground! [INSERT SWEAR WORDS HERE]

Ok, got that off my chest.

I can do this.
I will do this.
I am not giving up.
I am starting a half marathon training plan.

And the biggie................ my biggest struggle: I WILL KEEP MY CALORIES UNDER MY SPARKPEOPLE -RECOMMENDED MAXIMUM.

Stop with all the little lies! "Oh this one little treat doesn't matter." Trouble is that it's not just one and it's not so little!


Ok, pardon my little rant. Just had to come clean so I can start fresh.

No more excuses and no more self-comforting LIES!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIE542 6/15/2014 9:24AM

    Never give up emoticon emoticon emoticon I will be back online soon, computer troubles

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SAFARIBABE 6/15/2014 7:53AM

    You can do this! We've all had to start over at some point. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday. Today is the only day that counts.

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/14/2014 1:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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INGMARIE 6/14/2014 11:00AM

    OH OH , I know the feeling too ,mine is not so much the foods , it is the wine in the evening, so I am starting over too, no more wine except for holidays.
Fathers day does not count neither does 4th of July or Mothers day
Next holiday in my book Christmas
So I am wishing us all GOOD LUCK. emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 6/14/2014 9:03AM

    I know this all too well. I'm right there with you! We can do this.

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