Thursday, March 13, 2014
After my piggy weekend, I've been working hard this week to keep my calories in range. It's not easy. 1200 calories is not a lot of food. But I'm doing it!
Yesterday I knew that my boss was bringing a cheesecake to work. He makes extraordinary cheesecakes. Do I deprive myself? Just say no? That's one possibility. Having an entire piece was NOT a possibility. That would throw off my calories for the day. I'm so not eating a piece of cheesecake and then skipping a meal to compensate. And I didn't want to completely skip it, because it's such a rare and wonderful treat. And so I compromised. I cut off a small piece -- a very small piece that gave me two small bites. It was so, so, so, so, soooOOOOO good! I tracked it, giving my best guess.
For me, that was successful eating. You can have a treat. Budget for it, plan for it, don't let it derail you.
I've taken the other paths before. Depriving myself of a treat sometimes works. I don't have the lunchtime cookie anymore, and I don't really miss it. Now, the days when they have carrot cake or peanut butter bars instead of cookies... ugh, I do miss those desserts! But, again, that would jeopardize dinner or blow my calorie count for the day. My piggy weekend reminded me it's not good to go wildly overboard in calories. Maybe for me to be successful at weight loss and eventually maintenance, indulging will mean letting myself eat at the top of my range (1550). An extra 300 calories would be quite the treat!
BTW, I'm sick of hearing it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound. BS. Even over my piggy weekend, I didn't consume an extra 3500 calories. And yet my weight spiked up 3 pounds. After 3 days of eating right and working out A LOT, my weight still isn't back to where it was before the piggy weekend. So whether I gained some fat or my intestines are jammed up with all that food, I sure did gain! Basically it's not a good idea to overindulge when you're trying to lose weight. (Just throwing that out there in case you didn't already know that...)
Saturday, March 08, 2014
Now that the triathlon is done, I'm back to walking on the indoor track on my non-running days. Since our weather is still so crappy, the gym is busy these days. And this leads me to confess to you something I'm not proud of: I've got a bit of road rage on the track. (Which is odd… I don't even get road rage on the road!)
I'm a fast walker. Even in my heavier days, I could walk pretty fast. It's hard for me to walk slowly, even on non-exercise walks, like when I'm out shopping. I want to get from Point A to Point B, no dillydallying. And if it's an exercise walk, I'm there to burn calories! Let's move!
Now, I realize there are people of all abilities and fitness levels using our track. I get that. Still, a small part of me is thinking "Why are you bothering to walk if you're going to stroll along like a snail?" But I have come to realize that everyone has their story, and I don't know any of them! Maybe they're recovering from surgery. Maybe they are suffering in some invisible way, and a slow walk is really good therapy for them.
That reminds me of the first time I went for a walk after my dad passed away. This was just a week or two later, and I was so weak and shaken. My body longed to get outside and move a little, but I could barely move. I'm sure it was the slowest walk I've ever done.
So I catch myself getting annoyed by the slow walkers and have to stop myself and remind myself that their pace is their business.
One night I kept passing a pair of teenage girls. I was mildly annoyed until I told myself this was a great activity for them. They obviously weren't there for exercise, but still it was a good, healthy activity for them. They were chatting and moving, and that beats a lot of other options!
What it boils down to is not so much their pace that is annoying me, but the fact that I have to keep passing them, and they often take up so much of the track. The way our track is designed, there’s a walking lane and a running lane. A sign is posted to not walk more than two side-by-side. If you walk closely with your walking buddy, you can fit in the walking lane. But lots of these slow walkers are not considerate of others on the track. They don't leave much room for others (ME!) to pass them. What bugs me, especially, is when two are walking side-by-side, partly into the running lane, and I have to get into the running lane to pass them. But there are also runners out there, so I have to make sure I'm not blocking THEIR way when I pass the slow pokes!
Ah… this will all get better when the weather warms up. More of us will do our walks outside -- I know I will!
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Last night I went to the Y after work, as usual. I worked out hard, as usual. I came home and had a light supper, as usual. And I was feeling mildly sad about food. I miss food.
I miss eating good food for the sheer pleasure of it. I mean, I still eat good food, and I savor it. But ... well, I guess this is what it comes down to if you want to be thin. I think I'm missing the careless eating. Sitting down to a meal and eating all I want without the obsessive calorie counting. This is a bit schizophrenic. I have enjoyed the obsession, but for some reason yesterday I felt so sick of it!
I wondered if maybe I was overdue for some small treat, just to stop me feeling deprived. But then I remembered some recent small treats I've had. I'm not deprived. The thing is, everything is SMALL. I think I'm missing the total abandon of just having a big, delicious something.
Lately I've caught myself thinking things like: When I reach my goals, I'm going to ..... (basically eat something I haven't had in a while). I sure don't want to instantly gain back the weight. But ... is that okay to have a little indulgence? I'm struggling with this right now. I mean, thin people do overindulge now and then. As long as you're not overindulging day after day after day, it should be okay, right? I've joked with some friends that when I win this Biggest Loser Challenge, I'm going to make a carrot cake that we all love. One piece: 600 calories.
Maintenance will be a tough new challenge for me. Mentally, I don't think I'm there yet.
I'm 9 pounds from goal. Our Biggest Loser Finale is a little over a month away. So... I need to keep doing what I've been doing. Lots of exercise and keep on obsessively tracking food!
Saturday, March 01, 2014
We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner last night with two other couples. I was mildly stressed about it all day. What the heck can you eat at a place like that without blowing your calories for the day??!?
I checked out their menu online. I contemplated eating a side salad and feeling bitchy about it while everyone else ate a meal. I realized if I skipped my afternoon snack at work (a healthy muffin), I could "afford" a few more calories for dinner. So, my planned meal was salmon. If I ate slightly less than half of the salmon, with two veggie sides, and one light beer, I'd still be under 1300 calories!
Let me tell you it was tough getting through my afternoon at work with NO SNACK. I never ever ever do that! I always have some kind of healthy snack. So instead I drank a lot (no, not that kind of drinking!). Water, tea, diet soda, sparkling water..... I was starving!
One of the couples was running late, so we ended up eating around 8:00, which is really late for me and my husband. It ended up I split the salmon dinner with my sister. AND I SKIPPED THE 230- CALORIE DINNER ROLLS. (I've had them before and they are soooooo good! But 230 calories?! No way!)
So the evening was a success. And we had a great time!
Yes, it does feel obsessive to overanalyze food like this and be sooooo careful. But, being not careful is what made me fat! Now, knowledge is power. Foods that I used to think weren't too bad are shockingly bad. The caesar salad at Texas Roadhouse is 1030 calories!!!!! Good Lord! No wonder we have an obesity epidemic in this country.
But it does suck to feel like you can't go out and eat like a normal person. I don't want to feel deprived either. So last night was a good compromise.
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