Monday, November 17, 2014
Ah, November. I started the month with GREAT ambition. I was SUPER dedicated the first week. And then..................
I got lazy? I felt run-down. I suspected my iron was low again. I started slacking. And eating. I had a bad week.
I tried running a few times and it just didn't go well. LOW energy. Sideache. Short runs.
Did I mention I have a 5K scheduled for this Saturday? Egads. That will be interesting!
Anyhoo............ I'm not panicking. Yes, I'm back up a few pounds and am NOT happy about this. But I know what I need to do. No sense getting down about it and beating myself up about it. Just EAT better and stick to the workouts. As we've seen again and again, the weight drops off easily in the beginning and that's very motivating.
And so........... we begin again.
Tuesday, November 04, 2014
I gained 12 pounds. It seemed like every bit I gained since last April's low point went largely unnoticed. I still felt good and my clothes fit. And then, gradually, I felt quite fat again. My pants are tight, and those few pounds that seemed oh so easy to lose again became a whopping 12 pounds.
I had to buy new pants.
I'm not okay with this.
I was sick of tracking food. I thought I could eat reasonably and track the exercise -- focus on my running plan. Surely 3 years of tracking food has taught me enough that I can eat right without plugging it in OCD-style day after day after day. I would like to get to that point, but apparently I am NOT there yet.
Realizing that this pattern needs to change, I re-started tracking food. OCD, I'm back! I put my workouts in the calendar so there IS time for them.
I'm on day 4, and I'm already down a wee bit. Instead of 12 pounds, I'm at 9. (I love how weight drops off quickly in the beginning.)
I'm in the honeymoon phase of eating light. Oh so disciplined. Not remotely tempted. Remembering how it felt to buy pants the next size up helps. More importantly, it helps to remember how it feels to try on the pants that fit me last April and now look ridiculously tight. I should keep trying them on every week, just to keep that fresh in my mind. It's so motivating!
So I begin again with HUGE goals and HUGE expectations of myself. That seems to work for me much better than the middle ground, which is SOOOOO elusive for me. I'm all or nothing, black or white. So I gained 12 pounds in 6 months and am going to see if I can lose a whole lot of that this month. (Don't worry, I'm not starving or working out 3 hours a day. Just eating on the low end of my range and working out 30-90 minutes a day.)
I re-started toning again too, after dropping that like a hot potato months ago. Back when I was really dedicated, I did 5 minutes of planks every day. It got to a point where I thought they really weren't doing much for me anymore because they weren't hard anymore. I did 5 minutes of planks 3 days ago and have been in agony the last 2 days. I can't laugh, cough, or sneeze without feeling every muscle in my midsection. Gee, I guess planks work, and, go figure, I was actually TONED before!
So there's my true confession. I'm back, I'm dedicated, I'm eating right and working out and DOGGONIT am going to lose 9 more pounds!
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Yesterday I had the thing at work that I was totally dreading. I taught an online class. I've never done anything like this and pretty much NEVER EVER EVER do public speaking. I can get pretty tongue-tied. Deer in headlights.
But I agreed to do this when I was asked two months ago. And I thought, "This is so good for me!" Ha... Yes, I knew it would be good for me career-wise and personal-growth-wise if it went well. If not... well, let's not go there.
So I prepared. A lot. I actually felt pretty good about the whole thing until I did a run-through with a colleague. I wanted some practice and any suggestions for improvement. However, this guy gave me so many suggestions on everything I was saying and doing that it really rattled my confidence. I had to step back and realize that he was trying to be helpful. He's just a real "take charge" kind of person who loves to hear himself talk. I took some of his suggestions and left the rest. It wasn't like I had time to go back to the drawing board. It was my presentation, after all, and it had to flow naturally for me.
So, long story short, I did the class yesterday, and it went just fine. Once I got into it, I got over that heightened fear sensation and was able to just talk through the whole thing naturally. This is HUGE for me. I have a history of panic attacks, so being able to overcome that and function like a normal person makes me SOOOOOO HAPPY!
We have part 2 of the class today, and I know it will be just fine now. Remember that part in Harry Potter where he is able to cast a Patronus because he knew that he already had? He saw himself do it when he had time-traveled back, and he thought it was his dad, but really it was himself. That says so much to me about the importance of confidence. If you believe that you can, you can.
To be honest, trying to build my confidence back up, I reminded myself that I never thought I could run either. And I proved that I could do it. Running has been such a confidence builder for me!!
Ok, that's all for now. I just had to share my success story with you. Thanks for your supportive comments and positive vibes! I really appreciate them!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Summer is way too short! With our cold start to summer and school getting out so late, it is just now starting to feel like summer. I tell ya what, I'm taking a day or two off as soon as I get this class done. I feel like I need to kick back and enjoy the great outdoors.
Last night I went for a long, fast walk and found a little stray dog along the way. I stopped and tried to find the owner, and contemplated keeping the little dog myself -- he was a little sweetie! Eventually the owner drove up -- she was frantically searching for him. He didn't have a collar or tags. The topic of getting a second dog keeps coming up around here. Maybe.....
Today is a stretch and strengthen day for me, according to the half marathon training plan I'm following. On my last S&S day, I didn't do a whole lot -- maybe 20 minutes. So I'm thinking I need to come up with something a little more rigorous.
Monday, June 16, 2014
I'm happy to report that I stuck with my goals yesterday!
I ran 3 miles. It was windy and humid, and so my pace was slower. I listen to RunKeeper updates while I run, so I knew my pace was slower than it felt. I tried to push a little harder, but somehow couldn't get much faster. I'm not used to running outside, in heat, so I'm assuming that's what was slowing me down.
By the end of the day I was at 1506 calories! I was so excited about that, because I didn't feel deprived or hungry. Then my husband and son got home from being gone all day, and he made a late supper. Hamburgers. I'm not a big meat eater. He's been experimenting with adding all kinds of flavor to hamburgers lately -- really spicing them up. And boy, did they smell good! So when my son offered me the last few bites of his burger (he was full), I didn't resist. Yum! And that put me over in calories by 20 again. Oh well.
My weight is down 2.5 from the high a few days ago. Thank God. I never ever ever wanted to see 130 again. Jee I guess I have to actually DO something about that other than want it. Eat right. Exercise. Yup yup yup.
The other "news" I should probably just get out of my system is that I have a thing coming up at work that I am absolutely dreading. Let's be honest. When the opportunity came up to teach an online class, I said yes, despite the fact that I have never done anything like this and I have a massive performance anxiety issues. I thought, "This will be good for me!" etc... And it will... if it goes well :) I have 2 more days to practice and prepare.
Any advice or encouragement about overcoming fears and faking confidence would be much appreciated!!
Get An Email Alert Each Time JODROX Posts