Monday, March 17, 2008
It has been a roller-coaster of emotions in just the last few days-no wonder I'm exhausted, and it's only Monday. But it is St. Patrick's Day-and that's where I guess we should start. First, though, if you will allow me a little backstory: the worst thing(s) that ever happened to me in my life, and that will ever happen to me in my life, were the deaths of my parents when I was a teen. I have battled depression for about 20 years because of it, and have just recently begun to come out of the darkness. St. Patrick's Day is not usually a tough day for me, but for some reason this year it has hit me like a ton of emotional bricks. This was their wedding anniversary(they were married in 1951). I barely slept last nite and today I can barely control the flow of tears as I think about all the years and happy anniversaries they missed. Of course, as a devoted Pagan, I do need to believe their spirits are together-and hopefully celebrating this day, but still I grieve.
And this weekend was an overeating disaster for me-I assume because of these feelings coming up to the surface-however I know I must move on.
But it's not all doom and gloom as I had noted on Friday but didn't get a chance to blog about: 2 amazing things happened: First, a lovely woman contacted me via SparkMail, saying our stories were similar and would I like to be buddies, to encourage and cheer each other on? I was absolutely touched to hear from her, and I am happy to say I have met yet another wonderful person and I am infinitely grateful to the universe for sending her to me. Later, in the afternoon, even though I wasn't hungry, I CRAVED junk food, I even tried to justify having it to myself; but on my way home I suddenly thought "why don't you take loving care of yourself-you're worth it-and just go home, you'll have dinner soon enough". And on my way home I actually began to sob, and I realized I couldn't do that to myself; and I drove the rest of the way home and didn't give in to temptation. It was a very powerful moment for me. Sadly, the good feelings did not last, as I have said before. But I know I know I must regain control of myself and my program-I've done well today eating and I did follow my fitness routine this weekend. But I must get ahold of my emotions. I will blog again, and let y'all know what's goin' on-what's goin' on........
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Just a little update...like the title says, I'm doin' good, watching what I eat (for the most part) sand exercising, am LOVING the nutrition and fitness trackers to see what I'm actually eating.
Now here's the thing, I'm coming up on my all time low weight from when I (half-heartedly) tried to loose weight before so I've got to keep going. Patience has never been a strong suit of mine, but I'M GOING TO DO IT -I JUST FEEL LIKE I CAN'T GO BACK NOW!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Here's the deal-usually on Tuesdays I get a massage after work, then pig out at the fast food places for dinner. Also, even though I pig out at dinnertime, I usually hit the fast food places for lunch also-why-because I'm insane to do that to myself-anyway, here's today's challenge to myself-and to help me I've purposely only brought enough money with me to have one meal out-but I will eat my healthy lunch I brought from home-than read my book on spiritual journaling the rest of the time-better to feed the head than to keep feeding the ol' body, especially after it's had it's full-then I'm planning on having a healthier dinner at D'Angelo's-a sub shop here in town, instead of, like, what I usually do. So now that I've put this out there I better do it-I feel I don't want to let myself, and all of you, down.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Hi. So I've decided to add a Slimfast shake to my healthy lunch-I notice I'm still hungry after my regular lunch so I've decided to add it-it looks fairly healthy...I'm trying to convince myself (successfully so far) that I get to have a chocolate milkshake for lunch every day-they actually do taste pretty much like one. Hopefully this will help in me not raiding the fast food drive-thru's at lunchtime also, on the package was a meal plan that looks easy, sensible and most importantly, something I think I can live with. I've also discovered the Nutrition Tracker-I love it-what a goddess-send! Woo-hoo! Updates, positive or negative, to follow; comments and advice always welcome and appreciated. Blessings everyone!
Monday, February 04, 2008
I didn't see a place to add it to my favorites, but here's how to get to it: go to message boards, choose "Staying Motivated", then find the post by Texbets "The hidden reason you sabotage your diet".
Get An Email Alert Each Time JMZINCT Posts