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Hunger on Day 7

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I'm hungry. But it's okay.

April 25, 2013

Today starts day #7 of Ideal Protein. The first few days were HARD and II was MISERABLE.

Day 4 - 6 were pretty good, I wasn't hungry and I had more energy. This morning, however.... woke up hungry. I'm about to have a shake and I know that will satisfy me.

I'm actually proud of myself for having stuck with this. This is not an easy diet, for me. I'm not a salad eater and the veggies I like are not on the list of those I can eat. This makes it difficult. I like asparagus, and spinach, but I've had a lot of asparagus this week, ha. I suppose I ate too much, because on day 5 and 6, I did not get in all of my food. I just wasn't hungry, or maybe I was tired of the asparagus. So I need a plan for when/if that happens again. Ideas?

Love & peace,

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRINGTHESPARK17 4/28/2013 9:25AM

    Stick with it Lynn! It will get easier! There will come a point when your body gets the hang of ketosis and you won't be as hungry and you will have lots of energy. If you are really hungry, have an extra IP packet. I'm not a vegetable fan either, but I started to enjoy roasted brussel sprouts. I also really enjoy celery sticks and a little bit of peanut butter (not on protocol but I can still lose weight doing it).

Good luck!


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MNABOY 4/25/2013 11:43PM

    Get away from the diet mentality. Eat foods you like in amounts that do not bust your goal.

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EVIE4NOW 4/25/2013 8:16AM

  How about a stir fry?

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MARTYJOE 4/25/2013 8:10AM

    Try a juice or maybe some smoothy that will help you get in your veggies

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the good nurse....

Monday, February 07, 2011

I was really humbled today. I went to my monthly (well month and a half due to the weather) appt with the nurse practitioner in my doctor's office. Of course the first thing I hear is "hop up on the scale"... ugh, do I have to? I was hoping that it wasn't as bad as I thought. But it was.

And I could tell that I let her down.

She came into the room and said "so what's been going on? how did you do this month?" But she was so much less peppy than before. And she's been more than patient enough with me. She has given me every tool available to fix a sluggish, or rather non-existent, metabolism.

And I let her down... which let me down.

The previous month I had lost 7 pounds, and this month gained it back. First of all, how is that possible? That's a lot of weight to gain back in one month. I don't recall eating that many calories. Do you know how many calories it takes to pack a pound on? Seriously? Did I consume that much and not know it? If so, something is very wrong.

To be serious a moment, I have had a difficult time because of my low thyroid, and my metabolism has just been WHACK! But there's no more excuses here, I was given the tools.
I know what I need to do...

When I don't sleep at night, I just need to sleep.

When I start skipping meals at lunch, I need to go get lunch and eat it.

When I start lying around instead of being active, I need to be active.

When I think I'll have a snack, I need to NOT have a snack.

When I go for the ice cream, because I skipped lunch today, I need to eat the meal I skipped and melt the ice cream!

I mean... This is ME I'm talking about. And I'm worth it!!

And you are too!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAZACK 10/1/2011 10:20PM

    I haven't had my metabolism is low and I was on steroids for 3 years but am now determined to continue on my weight lose finally. I really could relate to your reasons and solutions to what should be done

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SPUNKYDUCKY 2/10/2011 11:03PM

    You are absolutely worth it!
It is also important to know this: you didn't let her down. She is worried about you, but not disappointed in you, it is a crucial difference. As a physician, I am almost never disappointed by people (I know a lot about human weakness after all), but I do worry about them. Two steps forward, one step back. Don't be too hard on yourself.

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JLYNNVARNER 2/10/2011 3:06PM

    thanks everyone! my metabolism has got me in a bad place but I am fighting it. it's good to hear that others have had this problem and that it can be overcome.

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MNABOY 2/9/2011 3:36AM

    Wellllll, I added 20 between December 21st and January20something. Christmas feasts, drinks of the season, BSA caramel corn (by the large bag), M&M peanuts (by the jumbo bag)popcorn at the movie. Knowing all the while I would have to brn it back off. Should have stopped sooner but my life will continue and I will ultimately get back to losing "new weight". Enjoy the side trips but I need to remember to space them out further and for shorter periods?

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JLWOF1 2/8/2011 9:52PM

    You're right, we are worth it! Now we just need to do it! I will if you will!


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SUGARBABY60 2/8/2011 4:55AM

    I have a Spark friend that had serious thyroid problems (which shot her wt . way , way over 200 lb) Well she made her goal a few months ago at around 145 lbs she maintained that weight and is a WEIGHT WATCHER LEADER today. I was so inspired by her struggle to fight against a disease and win . Her victory has been my inspiration many times when I just needed that motivational boost.and I do not even have thyroid disease. If she did it then we can too. be persistent, do not get discouraged! emoticon

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FREELADY 2/7/2011 10:37PM

    I love your clear thinking. Your honesty and focus will take you to your goals.

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SAL2525 2/7/2011 9:21PM


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10 MIN Daily Challenge Update

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My 10 minute daily challenge update:

Started Sunday, Nov. 21, with 18 minutes on the bike
Day 2, Monday, Nov. 22, with 30 minutes on the bike
Day 3, Tuesday, Nov. 23, 10 min cardio kickboxing with Coach Nicole in the morning and 10 minutes on the bike followed with 20 minutes on the treadmill at 2.0 incline.
Day 4, Wednesday. Nov. 24, 10 minute walk this morning.... more to come this evening...

I realize I've started this the week of Thanksgiving, but what better way to challenge myself!! And what better week to burn those calories!

I'm home with my son today... no work and no school makes mom and son a happy pair! We will be shopping today, cooking today and taking the dog to get groomed. I'm loving today already.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HLTHYETER 11/26/2010 10:06AM

    Glad you are getting started! No time like the present.

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JLWOF1 11/24/2010 10:48AM

    Great job on the challenge. Enjoy the day with your son! Happy Thanksgiving!

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Where I'm at... and it's not good

Sunday, June 13, 2010

First, I'm not happy about spending an hour typing all of my emotions out and because I used a cursed word (heck) to tell myself to wake the heck up, the spark system wiped out the entire post. That's not right, folks. Come on, just tell me to take it out but don't delete my entire post.


I'm UNCOMFORTABLE. I don't like feeling like this. I don't like the way I look, at 207 pounds, but mostly I hate the way I feel. It hurts. It's not good to be carrying this extra weight around, and it's starting to affect my health. I desperately want to be motivated and to keep up a momentum so that I can become fit - i wouldn't even mind being addicted to physical fitness! Only I keep getting stuck in my head and not making ANY progress. I'm sure I'm feeling depressed, and my feet hurt ALL THE TIME NOW..... I'm mad that I let myself get this way and I'm crazy mad that I cannot stop eating ice cream at night! I have to be stronger than that.

these are some of the thoughts that I keep having that keep me on this merry go round and I WANT OFF!

1. see the doctor and get some diet pills.
2. if he won't help, research how to get them online.
3. i just need to hire a nutritionist and maybe a personal trainer, but i've let too many people down, i'll just let them down too.
4. i really need to join a gym. really? join a gym and waste the money because i won't go because of intimidation. BESIDES, I have two free gyms at my work. FREE!
5. so I'll just buy some clothes so I can be comfortable at the FREE gyms.
6. no, buy a dvd so I can do this in private. buy a zumba dvd. no, that won't work because i tried it on youtube and my bad ankle started hurting after jumping around.
7. if it weren't so hot and humid outside, i could walk. how long 'til Fall?
8. this is stressful, i can't think straight. i need to meditate.
9. meditation helped, but now i feel all alone.

this is just crazy, i'm only 44 and i feel like i've nothing to look forward to. i'm stuck and it's unhealthy. i want to move forward but i don't. i need to wake up and face reality and yet my gut flips just thinking about doing it.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMSSBEARS 6/18/2010 12:27AM

    Don't get down on yourself - you have a lot to look forward to. Don't let your surroundings or the things that are going on around you dictate your mood or your attitude and outlook on the future.

I was afraid to go to the gym for a long time until I decided that I was just as worthy of getting and staying in shape as those skinny people that fo there so I just suck it up and try to ignore them. Some of the fit people are friendly and even helpful and then there are those that feel insulted or act inconveiniced if you even try to talk to them so I just try to convince myself that they weren't the type of people I needed to be around either (they were either too caught up into feeling superior or they were very unhappy and either way I don't need that complication in my life) - so go and know that you are doing something to make your life a lot better and more fun in the long run and just don't let anything or anyone tell you anything different.

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GLAMIT 6/17/2010 11:32PM

    Girl YOU CAN DO IT~ When you get mad enough you'll see no other way. Put on an ankle brace, start walking. MAKE A PLAN! Before you do anything for the day look at what you planned and go down the list. Start off small and then PUSH yourself to do more. The hardest part is getting started. Once you get back on a routine it will get easier. How bad do you want it? Are you fed up? Move out of EXCUSE LAND~ Pack your bags baby. We are here right here with ya~

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JUDI_CUTIE 6/16/2010 11:12PM

    Hi JLYNN,
I am so sorry your post got wiped out! That is just what you didn't need.

As I read your thoughts, it makes me feel like you are very wise to think about doing the Beck Diet Solution. It was something that finally worked for me after years and years of getting nowhere. Go to my page and look at my before and after photos. My starting weight is similar to yours. I still have a way to go, but I am actually content to take a little breather at this weight. I know that at some point I will be ready to move down more.

I hope you can learn to say nicer things to yourself. We will help you. The Beck team is a wonderful bunch!

You are heading into the rest of your life. It is going to be a combination of millions of tiny decisions. You are not going to be perfect. You are never going to be "done". You will figure out what works for you. Really you will!

Judi emoticon

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BET212 6/14/2010 11:40AM

    I agree with the others about starting with small steps. Often with this journey we knock ourselves down with a lot of negative self talk or set goals with one breath then tell ourselves we can't possibly meet them in the next breath. You can do this. Keep blogging or journal your feelings, set those small goals and check in with your teams as often as you can right now.

And when that little, nagging voice starts telling you that you can't do this because you have let people down before, tell it to go away; your busy working on your journey for a healthier you and the past be damned! emoticon

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DEUSMACHINA 6/14/2010 3:41AM

    Hooboy do I know how you feel! It's ghastly! I think I know which curse-word you used ;)

Great work listing those thoughts. Let's look for that out.

1. Diet pills are dangerous. You know that.
2. Is that legal?
3. Do you know you will let them down? Do you have a crystal ball? Are you jumping to conclusions here?
4. See above: do you KNOW you won't go? But really, the free gyms sound awesome!
5. Buying new gym clothes? YAY! Love an excuse for more exercise kit!
6. Good to identify a problem area. Bad ankle = no jumping around. BUT this doesn't mean there isn't another class or DVD that you could do. Do the free gyms offer classes that are low-impact? Or check out the chair exercise team if it's too painful!
7. Hot and humid? Pick your time and get out there! C'mon, I'm an Aussie. Most of the places I've lived have summer for 6-9 months. You gotta work around it. You can do it!
8. Excellent work on the meditation!
9. Alone? Jump on spark! We are all here to support you!

Hopefully somewhere in there is an off-ramp from your merry-go-round, and a whole different set of (hopefully not-so-irritating) thoughts.



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CINDYC53 6/14/2010 12:46AM

    Hi! I saw your blog on the Nike's Challenger's Team page and I'd love to be your spark friend. I'm with the folks who have already commented - start with tracking your food. It helps me to plan out my food for the day in the morning, then print it out so I can keep track of it as I go. The less flexibility I have, the better!
Also, try one of the challenges on our team! Or on Calorie Killers. Small changes that add up. We check in daily, and it helps keep me accountable.
Once you have a little success, you'll begin to feel stronger & you can build on those successes.
OH -- and have you read The Spark?? It's awesome!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JESSSPARK 6/13/2010 6:41PM

    I'd start with one thing, and that would be tracking your food. That BY ITSELF will probably change your eating habits some and you wil start losing some weight. Then I'd pick a small manageable exercise goal. Maybe try the elliptical, it's a good workout and it's low impact so good for someone with ankle problems. Start with 10 minutes, bump it up as you feel you can do more. That's where I started, and now I'm over 30 pounds lighter.

YOU can do this- teh resources are here! ROCK IT!

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DABINEXIAN 6/13/2010 4:47PM

    GEINAHG0757 is right. You want everything to change overnight. You didn't get to this point in one day and it will take more than one day to feel better. Focus on a sparkstreak. Set something up in your other goals. Something that realistically you can do such as drinking 8 glasses of water a day or plan out your menu for the next day. Then each day when you accomplish that goal you can check it off. As time goes by you will see a real accomplishment that will motivate you to do more. You don't have to start off exercising to a dvd. You can start off by just standing in place and marching during the commercials of your favorite show. And know that your spark friends are here to support you. We have all been there and we all have days when we go back to that dark place. Let us hold you up until you can hold yourself up.


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GEINAHG0757 6/13/2010 3:17PM

    You are wanting it all...RIGHT NOW! Take a deep breath and another one. Now, all or nothing mentality is not going to get you where you want to go. Think of 1 (ONE) goal you could accomplish this week. Nothing to big. Accomplish that goal. Next week, keep doing the first goal but add another one. That is what is going to get you where you want to be. It works along the same way that little ones learn to walk. First you crawl, then you cruise, then you walk, then you run! Stop trying to run...focus on some crawling.. Baby steps are for real and they do work.

Hang in there...you can do this!

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I'm having surgery tomorrow

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thank God that it can be done outpatient! I won't have to be put under. However, it will take about 4 hours... here's the scoop:

Insurance has agreed to pay for part of the phlebectomy and schlerotherapy on my left leg. I am very grateful, but I will still be out quite a bit of money (the deductible and my part that they won't cover). But I am anxious to have this done. I have not been able to put weight on my ankle for many days now. And the ulcer is getting bigger and is severely painful. I have a constant sharp pain that I feel starting at the ankle and going up a vein almost to my knee. If I move my foot, it feels worse so I try not to. I didn't realize how serious this was but I gotta admit I have been a little scared.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone, I really wouldn't. Not only is it ugly, but so freakin' painful. The last few nights I have tried sleeping on the couch because I have to keep my leg up. But I was in so much pain that I ended up crying all night. It was severe and I had no pain meds so I felt the suffering!

Right after the surgery they will put a leg compression hose on me and I have to keep it on for 3 days straight, then for 10 days during the daytime and possibly for more time after that. I'm told that the ulcer should begin healing immediately but will still take some time to completely go away.

Obviously, I haven't been able to exercise and I won't be able to do so for 2 more weeks!!! What?? OH NO, NOT NOW! So I asked the Dr about it and he said that he encouraged me to try to walk for 20 minutes beginning the 2nd day! Yeah!! I will do that, no problem!!! It should help the healing and it will make me feel better for having MOVED... I really don't want to lose my momentum for the spark diet and fitness, not now... if nothing else, I may be losing weight just from the stress of it all!

Please keep me in your prayers, I can't wait to be able to jump up and down and really work up a sweat!! I promise to keep in touch during my recovery and to drink my water and eat healthy. I love my spark friends and my new spark home and I long for the day I will be able to give it 100% every day... at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now and know that there is an end in sight.

(p.s. i would post a picture of my leg, but it's not pretty.... i'll wait and post the post surgery picture after it heals (and then maybe I'll feel better showing the ugly side of it. maybe it will help somebody else)

love you guys...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MINENA1 3/22/2010 12:46PM

    In my prayers partner! emoticon emoticon emoticon I'll miss ya!

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IRONGRANNIE 3/19/2010 5:37PM

    Strangely enough, I have a friend who has just had the same op. about 2 weeks ago. He is getting that walking done and feeling much better so I am hoping for the same result for you.

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JERICAJJ 3/19/2010 1:38PM

    I'll be thinking of you...I hope your surgery and your recovery go well. While your fitness takes a back burner, focus on your nutrition plan.
:) Jerica

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HICALGAL 3/19/2010 12:58AM

    will keep you in my prayers...keep us posted! emoticon

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RUSSELLORAMA 3/18/2010 9:52PM

    Wow, I hope that your recovery is swift! I'll be thinking about you.


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