Thursday, April 25, 2013
I'm hungry. But it's okay.
April 25, 2013
Today starts day #7 of Ideal Protein. The first few days were HARD and II was MISERABLE.
Day 4 - 6 were pretty good, I wasn't hungry and I had more energy. This morning, however.... woke up hungry. I'm about to have a shake and I know that will satisfy me.
I'm actually proud of myself for having stuck with this. This is not an easy diet, for me. I'm not a salad eater and the veggies I like are not on the list of those I can eat. This makes it difficult. I like asparagus, and spinach, but I've had a lot of asparagus this week, ha. I suppose I ate too much, because on day 5 and 6, I did not get in all of my food. I just wasn't hungry, or maybe I was tired of the asparagus. So I need a plan for when/if that happens again. Ideas?
Love & peace,
Monday, February 07, 2011
I was really humbled today. I went to my monthly (well month and a half due to the weather) appt with the nurse practitioner in my doctor's office. Of course the first thing I hear is "hop up on the scale"... ugh, do I have to? I was hoping that it wasn't as bad as I thought. But it was.
And I could tell that I let her down.
She came into the room and said "so what's been going on? how did you do this month?" But she was so much less peppy than before. And she's been more than patient enough with me. She has given me every tool available to fix a sluggish, or rather non-existent, metabolism.
And I let her down... which let me down.
The previous month I had lost 7 pounds, and this month gained it back. First of all, how is that possible? That's a lot of weight to gain back in one month. I don't recall eating that many calories. Do you know how many calories it takes to pack a pound on? Seriously? Did I consume that much and not know it? If so, something is very wrong.
To be serious a moment, I have had a difficult time because of my low thyroid, and my metabolism has just been WHACK! But there's no more excuses here, I was given the tools.
I know what I need to do...
When I don't sleep at night, I just need to sleep.
When I start skipping meals at lunch, I need to go get lunch and eat it.
When I start lying around instead of being active, I need to be active.
When I think I'll have a snack, I need to NOT have a snack.
When I go for the ice cream, because I skipped lunch today, I need to eat the meal I skipped and melt the ice cream!
I mean... This is ME I'm talking about. And I'm worth it!!
And you are too!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
My 10 minute daily challenge update:
Started Sunday, Nov. 21, with 18 minutes on the bike
Day 2, Monday, Nov. 22, with 30 minutes on the bike
Day 3, Tuesday, Nov. 23, 10 min cardio kickboxing with Coach Nicole in the morning and 10 minutes on the bike followed with 20 minutes on the treadmill at 2.0 incline.
Day 4, Wednesday. Nov. 24, 10 minute walk this morning.... more to come this evening...
I realize I've started this the week of Thanksgiving, but what better way to challenge myself!! And what better week to burn those calories!
I'm home with my son today... no work and no school makes mom and son a happy pair! We will be shopping today, cooking today and taking the dog to get groomed. I'm loving today already.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
First, I'm not happy about spending an hour typing all of my emotions out and because I used a cursed word (heck) to tell myself to wake the heck up, the spark system wiped out the entire post. That's not right, folks. Come on, just tell me to take it out but don't delete my entire post.
What I WAS SAYING....
I'm UNCOMFORTABLE. I don't like feeling like this. I don't like the way I look, at 207 pounds, but mostly I hate the way I feel. It hurts. It's not good to be carrying this extra weight around, and it's starting to affect my health. I desperately want to be motivated and to keep up a momentum so that I can become fit - i wouldn't even mind being addicted to physical fitness! Only I keep getting stuck in my head and not making ANY progress. I'm sure I'm feeling depressed, and my feet hurt ALL THE TIME NOW..... I'm mad that I let myself get this way and I'm crazy mad that I cannot stop eating ice cream at night! I have to be stronger than that.
these are some of the thoughts that I keep having that keep me on this merry go round and I WANT OFF!
1. see the doctor and get some diet pills.
2. if he won't help, research how to get them online.
3. i just need to hire a nutritionist and maybe a personal trainer, but i've let too many people down, i'll just let them down too.
4. i really need to join a gym. really? join a gym and waste the money because i won't go because of intimidation. BESIDES, I have two free gyms at my work. FREE!
5. so I'll just buy some clothes so I can be comfortable at the FREE gyms.
6. no, buy a dvd so I can do this in private. buy a zumba dvd. no, that won't work because i tried it on youtube and my bad ankle started hurting after jumping around.
7. if it weren't so hot and humid outside, i could walk. how long 'til Fall?
8. this is stressful, i can't think straight. i need to meditate.
9. meditation helped, but now i feel all alone.
this is just crazy, i'm only 44 and i feel like i've nothing to look forward to. i'm stuck and it's unhealthy. i want to move forward but i don't. i need to wake up and face reality and yet my gut flips just thinking about doing it.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thank God that it can be done outpatient! I won't have to be put under. However, it will take about 4 hours... here's the scoop:
Insurance has agreed to pay for part of the phlebectomy and schlerotherapy on my left leg. I am very grateful, but I will still be out quite a bit of money (the deductible and my part that they won't cover). But I am anxious to have this done. I have not been able to put weight on my ankle for many days now. And the ulcer is getting bigger and is severely painful. I have a constant sharp pain that I feel starting at the ankle and going up a vein almost to my knee. If I move my foot, it feels worse so I try not to. I didn't realize how serious this was but I gotta admit I have been a little scared.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, I really wouldn't. Not only is it ugly, but so freakin' painful. The last few nights I have tried sleeping on the couch because I have to keep my leg up. But I was in so much pain that I ended up crying all night. It was severe and I had no pain meds so I felt the suffering!
Right after the surgery they will put a leg compression hose on me and I have to keep it on for 3 days straight, then for 10 days during the daytime and possibly for more time after that. I'm told that the ulcer should begin healing immediately but will still take some time to completely go away.
Obviously, I haven't been able to exercise and I won't be able to do so for 2 more weeks!!! What?? OH NO, NOT NOW! So I asked the Dr about it and he said that he encouraged me to try to walk for 20 minutes beginning the 2nd day! Yeah!! I will do that, no problem!!! It should help the healing and it will make me feel better for having MOVED... I really don't want to lose my momentum for the spark diet and fitness, not now... if nothing else, I may be losing weight just from the stress of it all!
Please keep me in your prayers, I can't wait to be able to jump up and down and really work up a sweat!! I promise to keep in touch during my recovery and to drink my water and eat healthy. I love my spark friends and my new spark home and I long for the day I will be able to give it 100% every day... at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now and know that there is an end in sight.
(p.s. i would post a picture of my leg, but it's not pretty.... i'll wait and post the post surgery picture after it heals (and then maybe I'll feel better showing the ugly side of it. maybe it will help somebody else)
love you guys...
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