Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Iím up again. By .7 pounds. So a total of 24.8. I did get into the candy corn and some other not so good stuff. I really would like to get to 30 before too much longer, but I wonít get there at the rate Iím going. It would be really cool if I have some really fantastic progress by my physical Ė which my doctor forced me to schedule when I was there last. Itís in March, so I have quite a bit of time, but if I keep wasting it like I am now I wonít have much to show for it. Funny, though, I am not really down on myself too much even though it might sound like I am. I made these choices and I know what I need to do.
Maybe one of the reasons Iím not that down is because I am having some non-scale victories. I was in the top 5 on two of my Spark Teams for the second week in a row and Iím doing better so far this week. I also started keeping track of my waist measurement, measuring about once per month. I think Iím down about 1.5 inches in the last 6 weeks or so, but Iíve still got another couple of weeks to go before the ďofficialĒ measurement day. That makes me happy at least. Lately I have had a curious urge to runÖ as in outside. It usually passes after a few minutes, but I would like to see how far I can actually go before I pass out. Weird.
It seems I cannot do both things at the same time Ė keep my exercise up and control my eating. I think Iím going to start a Spark Streak on some of this stuff. It helped cure me of biting my fingernails after all!
I almost forgot to mention that my Medifast buddy has lost 67 pounds in the time that I've lost my 24.8. I am so happy for her!! I went clothes shopping with her and it was so great to see the look on her face when she came out of the dressing room in disbelief that she fit into smaller sizes than she was expecting. No more plus sizes for her!!
I have also had some not so good news regarding my dad. He does have cancer after all. He had surgery a couple of weeks ago and I went to spend some time with my parents last week. He has a catheter and everything and it's really tough on both of my parents, since my mom is the primary caregiver. They have a visiting nurse, but she only comes twice/week. They are hopeful that they got everything, but we won't know until next week whether he will need chemo or not. He is 85 years old, so I really hate for him to not have quality time with what he has left. He's been in pain for a long time and this cancer is in an unusual place, so it took a comparatively long time to find out what was wrong with him. He is not a very good patient either, but it's understandable.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Not so good news for me. I actually GAINED 2.4 pounds this week. How come it comes back so much easier than it leaves?? So Iím at 24.4. I was actually tempted to lie about it and say I stayed the same, but who am I kidding? I think because I was not feeling well for much of last week, I gave myself ďpermissionĒ to eat whatever I felt like eating. Unfortunately, it was not good stuff. I was also concentrating on getting more exercise in, so I was fooling myself that it would make up the difference if I ate more. Lesson learned on that way of thinking!
Despite having a couple of down days on walking/jogging last week due to my stomach issues, I was still able to rebound and be in the top 5 for fitness minutes last week on 5 Spark Teams again, so that was cool. Iím really hitting it hard this week, but I do need to take a look at some strength training. There are a lot of videos on that here on Spark People.
I also went shopping in my closet and found an outfit for a wedding on Saturday. It doesnít look that bad. (Iím sure it would have looked a lot better without those 2.4 pounds.) I would like to get some new shoes, but I looked around a little and couldn't find anything I liked. The dressy sandals are pretty much gone and whatís left are u-g-l-y, which most likely explains why they are still around.
I have certainly learned a lot about myself in these past few months and I think Iím looking at myself more objectively than I ever have before. I learn something new every day. This is an experiment. I have stopped giving myself a pass and am becoming more honest about cause and effect and the self-destructive mind games I sometimes play to justify what Iím doing. Sometimes I mentally smack myself upside the head (OK, sometimes I physically smack myself upside the head too!) and tell myself to snap out of it. But I also am trying to not get too down on myself either.
Itís all part of the process and I have to trust that it will work. It would have been nice if I had started this process many years ago, but I really believe that timing is everything. The conditions just werenít right until now. It's sort of like when I quit smoking many years ago. I tried so many times to quit and just couldn't do it, but that last time something just clicked. I wish I could figure out what it was, but I think everything had to fall in place. It had to be the right time and under the right conditions.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
OK. Down 1.4 pounds this week for 26.8 total. Not too shabby for me. Medifast buddy lost over 5 pounds despite being on vacation at the Cape last week. Awesome for her!
One of the things that is motivating me right now is not so much eating less/better, but increasing my activity. On this week's digests, I was in the top 5 for fitness minutes on 5 Spark Teams. Yippee!! I've been walking/jogging a lot, basically whenever I can. Granted, these teams are relatively small, but I'll take it. It's so nice to work hard all week and get that little reward on Sunday morning.
I doubt that I will have that much to show this week because I have been stricken by a stomach virus that has had me down for the last couple of days. Even with that I've been able to get in 6,000 steps, but it's been tough and not nearly enough to get me in the top 5 on any team. So, small favor, if those of you on teams with me could take it easy on the exercise this week I'd really appreciate it!
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