Sunday, January 01, 2012
I am ashamed to write this, but I really must make myself accountable, and a new year seems like a good time to clean the slate and start over. So here goes...
I was so busted this morning by my husband. I often buy candy and keep it in my workbag or purse. Then I eat it when I'm alone. Well, I read in bed the other night and decided to whip out the handy dandy box of Milk Duds that I had purchased on one of my post-Xmas shopping forays. Unfortunately, I must have dropped a couple of them in the bedding (How did I miss THOSE?). Anyway, my husband woke up and found that he was stuck to the sheets!! It was tempting to blame the dog and for a few minutes I was afraid it was something other than the candy, if you know what I mean. Then I remembered... I was so embarrassed and ashamed, but there was no way out of a full confession.
I know my husband knows I sneak bad food, but we don't talk about it. Well, it was out in the open at that point and he was great about it. He has a ton of bad habits himself -- drinking too much and smoking -- so he is not judgmental, but he is genuinely concerned about my health.
I know I have a lot of "issues" but like most everything else in my life I tend to over-think, looking for the reasons I got to this point and seeking motivation to get me going, blah blah blah. It's pretty simple really isn't it -- eat less, move more. I think I'm finally sick of hearing myself think!
So here I go again and I give many thanks to the Spark Friends I have for not giving up on me. I can't begin to tell you how much your encouragement means to me.
Happy New Year to all and I hope we all reach our goals this year!!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
OK, I've been AWOL for a while, at least from posting. I have been basically tanking for the last two months. I lost 26 pounds pretty quickly and then have slowly been putting it back on. I've been "Sparking" daily, but I have felt like I've been doing this in the 3rd person -- as if all of the information I've received has been referring to somebody else and not me. What's up with that??
I am quite disgusted with myself, but Coach Nicole posted an article recently on 25 things you can do to get yourself back on track. Number 20 is to restart your program. I clicked on the link to do that and it sent me back to my account and I had the option to change anything and everything, resetting SparkPoints and goals included. I was so close to doing just that. Just bag it and start over.
Then I thought, do I really want to throw away everything that I've been struggling with and have a do over? To just erase the history of everything I've been going through as if it never happened? Not to get too philosophical about it, but past experiences are all part of what and who we are and an important part of the journey to where we want to be. It's not always pleasant or kind, but it is what it is.
Maybe most of all I need to not forget about the failures but learn from them instead. I think it will make me appreciate the successes even more. So, although I appreciate the option very much, I'm not taking a do-over.
Instead, I just gave myself a metaphorical "slap upside the head" and told myself to "Snap out of it!"
Saturday, May 21, 2011
I had a conversation with a dietitian a few years ago. She gave a talk at my workplace for people who were interested in losing weight. Anyway, she said something that has really stuck with me. She said, you have to be very honest with yourself about what you are willing to do and what you are not and then work with it. What is negotiable and what isn't. She said that if you don't do that you are setting yourself up for discouragement and failure.
For example, I have finally acknowledged that I will never be a morning person and I'm really tired of apologizing for it, since my husband is up at the crack of dawn. I'm hardly coherent until at least 9 am. Therefore, if I made a commitment to get up at 6 am to exercise... well it would never happen or I might be able to do it for a while and be completely miserable, and then I'd get down on myself and quit exercising altogether. For me, this is not negotiable. I am much more awake after work, so that's when I exercise. It might be more productive if I exercised in the morning, but it just ain't happening.
Also, I am amazed by the number of Spark People who exercise 120 minutes a day. Wow! That's not realistic for me either, so I do what I can and try to get at least 30 minutes in every day. That is my commitment.
Same goes with food. I will NOT give up ice cream, cookies, candy, etc. Again, I might be able to do it for a while, but I love these things too much to say I will never eat them again. I'd feel like a failure when I ate one of the things that I love (and believe me I would eat that ice cream eventually). That's just not negotiable. What I WILL do is be accountable for eating these things in terms of portion size and tracking them on my Nutrition Tracker so that I stay within my calorie range.
I think it's important to accept and be happy with ourselves the way we are and use the tools available to us to set realistic goals and priorities. Knowing what I am willing to do and what I'm not willing to do are really important steps and it's probably incredibly different for each of us.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I read an article about procrastination yesterday that I was supposed to reflect on. It made a whole lot of sense. I am definitely one of those people who gets stressed out because I put off tasks, especially filing and organizing things so that I waste a lot of time even getting ready to start tasks. Basically I throw everything in a big pile -- at home and at work. I am trying to be better, but I have a long way to go. I know I would be much more productive and happier if I just did stuff when I thought of it instead of putting things off.
On the lighter side, I actually read this article at work because I was procrastinating. I had to write a report and I couldn't figure out how to get it started. Also, in case no one noticed, I put off until today writing this reflection. At least I'm consistent!!
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