Tuesday, July 26, 2011
OK, I've been AWOL for a while, at least from posting. I have been basically tanking for the last two months. I lost 26 pounds pretty quickly and then have slowly been putting it back on. I've been "Sparking" daily, but I have felt like I've been doing this in the 3rd person -- as if all of the information I've received has been referring to somebody else and not me. What's up with that??
I am quite disgusted with myself, but Coach Nicole posted an article recently on 25 things you can do to get yourself back on track. Number 20 is to restart your program. I clicked on the link to do that and it sent me back to my account and I had the option to change anything and everything, resetting SparkPoints and goals included. I was so close to doing just that. Just bag it and start over.
Then I thought, do I really want to throw away everything that I've been struggling with and have a do over? To just erase the history of everything I've been going through as if it never happened? Not to get too philosophical about it, but past experiences are all part of what and who we are and an important part of the journey to where we want to be. It's not always pleasant or kind, but it is what it is.
Maybe most of all I need to not forget about the failures but learn from them instead. I think it will make me appreciate the successes even more. So, although I appreciate the option very much, I'm not taking a do-over.
Instead, I just gave myself a metaphorical "slap upside the head" and told myself to "Snap out of it!"
Saturday, May 21, 2011
I had a conversation with a dietitian a few years ago. She gave a talk at my workplace for people who were interested in losing weight. Anyway, she said something that has really stuck with me. She said, you have to be very honest with yourself about what you are willing to do and what you are not and then work with it. What is negotiable and what isn't. She said that if you don't do that you are setting yourself up for discouragement and failure.
For example, I have finally acknowledged that I will never be a morning person and I'm really tired of apologizing for it, since my husband is up at the crack of dawn. I'm hardly coherent until at least 9 am. Therefore, if I made a commitment to get up at 6 am to exercise... well it would never happen or I might be able to do it for a while and be completely miserable, and then I'd get down on myself and quit exercising altogether. For me, this is not negotiable. I am much more awake after work, so that's when I exercise. It might be more productive if I exercised in the morning, but it just ain't happening.
Also, I am amazed by the number of Spark People who exercise 120 minutes a day. Wow! That's not realistic for me either, so I do what I can and try to get at least 30 minutes in every day. That is my commitment.
Same goes with food. I will NOT give up ice cream, cookies, candy, etc. Again, I might be able to do it for a while, but I love these things too much to say I will never eat them again. I'd feel like a failure when I ate one of the things that I love (and believe me I would eat that ice cream eventually). That's just not negotiable. What I WILL do is be accountable for eating these things in terms of portion size and tracking them on my Nutrition Tracker so that I stay within my calorie range.
I think it's important to accept and be happy with ourselves the way we are and use the tools available to us to set realistic goals and priorities. Knowing what I am willing to do and what I'm not willing to do are really important steps and it's probably incredibly different for each of us.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I read an article about procrastination yesterday that I was supposed to reflect on. It made a whole lot of sense. I am definitely one of those people who gets stressed out because I put off tasks, especially filing and organizing things so that I waste a lot of time even getting ready to start tasks. Basically I throw everything in a big pile -- at home and at work. I am trying to be better, but I have a long way to go. I know I would be much more productive and happier if I just did stuff when I thought of it instead of putting things off.
On the lighter side, I actually read this article at work because I was procrastinating. I had to write a report and I couldn't figure out how to get it started. Also, in case no one noticed, I put off until today writing this reflection. At least I'm consistent!!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I posted a really downer blog the other day about feeling like I was not fully engaged in Spark People and how I was having trouble getting back in the groove.
Well... I got so many responses and such great encouragement, that it literally made me cry. In fact, I'm a little bit teary right now, only it's not because I'm sad. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to be surrounded by such caring supportive people. Just knowing that there are others who share similar ups and downs and care enough to throw me a lifeline has made me feel so much better. It has given me a real sense of frienship and community with all of you. None of us are alone in this, even as we sit by ourselves in front of a computer. Sharing our fears as well as our triumphs makes all of us stronger. If I wasn't sure about that before, I am absolutely convinced of it now.
Thanks so much!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I haven't written in quite a while. I have kind of been going through the motions lately and not really feeling that committed to what I'm doing. I religiously log in to SparkPeople every day and tick off my activities for Spark Points, but I'm not feeling that engaged, and that really bothers me. It shouldn't be about getting points.
Don't get me wrong, I'm learning a lot and I read and respond to others' blogs to send encouragement and try to get inspired by the efforts of others, but I feel like a fraud sometimes, like I don't belong because I'm not as "into" this as everybody else seems to be. And then I feel sad and a little desperate because I really wish I had a more positive attitude and I don't know how to get back in the "groove" I was in a few weeks ago. I wish I could figure out how to get my mojo back!
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