Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I've never told her, but my mom has always been the moving force behind my wanting to lose weight -- now & all those years ago. Because I don't want to look like she did at 50, or 60, or . . . you get the picture.
My parents have taught me a lot, often things I don't want to do or be. For instance, I know that in order to lose weight, you've got to change. You've got to change big time, in fact. You don't have to change everything at once -- in fact, you're better off if you take baby steps -- but you can't expect to lose weight if you don't change how you eat; if you change how you eat, but never exercise; if you exercise, but you don't change how you eat.
It's a lifestyle, yes, but for a lot of us, it's uncharted territory. I've had 20 years of experimenting to get where I am today, and things still go clafluey sometimes. No, clafluey isn't a real word. I'm not expecting a good WI tomorrow, despite what I think was a good week. My jeans are feeling tight again this morning. It's very frustrating. I'm trying to figure out what I've got to change right now, and I just can't figure it out. If I could, I'd do it!
My parents, OTOH, are pretty resistant to change. When we went out to eat last weekend, I had a seaweed salad. My mom deigned to try it, but didn't like it (didn't hate it, but I know she'd never order one). My dad at first refused to even try it. But eventually he decided he would. He liked it. He actually likes more things than my mother -- once he will actually try them; but he doesn't want to try new things.
I, OTOH, am constantly trying new things. I finally bought myself some quinoa. I know how healthy it is, but somehow I've been resistant to it. Something about the way it looks when cooked. In trying to find dinners that don't require a whole lot of cooking, however, I ran across a recipe for basically a tabbouleh made with quinoa. So I decided to give it a try.
While I walked the dogs on Sunday morning, my husband was in charge of feeding my parents. I left him a long list of what we had, and where. My mom decided on a bagel with some cheese. I had some really old WW bagels -- I didn't really like them; they just taste funny to me. I also had some whole wheat bagels.
Apparently they wanted the WW bagels, but those were so old they were like rocks. They didn't want the whole wheat ones because they were whole wheat, although personally I think they taste better.
My mom isn't diabetic, but I guess she's pre-diabetic because she's not supposed to have sugar. Yet she still hasn't made the mind switch that whole grain breads are better for her than white ones, even enriched white ones.
The bottom line is that it IS a big change. It's got to be. You've got to want it enough to make those changes. And you've got to learn to love those changes, or they will never become a lifestyle for you.
You don't have to change all at once, though. You shouldn't change all at once, in fact. Pick one goal to work on each day. Maybe two. Little changes really do add up.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
"Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb!"
You can find the rest of the lyrics at www.metrolyrics.com/the-climb-lyrics
I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it. It's the perfect song for much of life, but definitely a good weight loss anthem. I was just stunned when I learned it was from Miley Cyrus!
On a personal note, my FIL could use some prayers. He has been in the hospital with a kidney stone & infection, and isn't doing very well (he has Alzheimers). They haven't been able to operate on the stone yet, and my poor MIL & SIL are just exhausted from trying to keep him from pulling out all the tubes (even tho the hospital is supposed to have someone to watch him).
In a weird twist of fate, my husband will be going to see them this weekend. He's in CA on business, and had already planned to fly to Seattle for the weekend. He may move up his flight or stay longer, even tho his mom said it wouldn't help (altho I assured him it would).
When he was first planning this trip, he asked if I wanted to come to Seattle & I immediately said yes. Despite the fact that staying with his parents is no picnic, it would be a break -- and I haven't seen his parents in a year; I'm not sure his father actually remembers me anymore. But then he started complaining about how difficult it would be, and I got mad, because why did he ask me if he didn't want me to come? Now I wish I'd stuck to my guns and gone with him. Altho it probably would've been even more difficult. But I'm sure he could use the support, too.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sometimes I feel that's how I view myself. Funny how your perspective can change hour to hour, not even day to day!
Yesterday morning I was truly feeling as though my pooch has expanded. Definitely one of the areas of my body that doesn't seem to shrink easily, but that's typical of most of us (my butt, OTOH, while still very ample, has definitely shrunk significantly).
Yesterday evening, as I contemplated my face after my run, I was like damn! Your face looks good. Maybe it was the fact that my hair was dirty & sweaty enough that I didn't have frizz like a halo around my face as usual -- it was almost straight. I've always loved my curls, never straightened them, but for the first time I could see why someone might.
The last few weeks have definitely been a roller coaster ride weight wide. I really still feel that I'm not eating any differently than I've been eating all along. And so I struggle with am I eating enough? Too much? Too much of the wrong things?
I had a big ole piece of my broccoli quiche for supper last night. It's vegan though -- so yes, there is pie crust -- real, home made pie crust -- but the filling is basically tofu & broccoli & onions. I couldn't tell you the last time I had any pie crust, and I know the filling is totally healthy.
Now that our flurry of entertaining is over, though, I can settle back into a more normal eating pattern. I hope. Of course then there's our mini-vacation in a couple of weeks. But then there's always something to celebrate, always some occasion to eat. That's why we have to develop a healthy lifestyle, and not be all or nothing eaters. But that's a subject for another blog.
P.S. Did you see the new Spark mugs? I totally want one. I have a real thing for mugs.
P.P.S. My folks made it home ok. Only to call & say my Dad left his jacket, & when we couldn't find it in the house, could we call the restaurant? Only to call back later (when we'd called the restaurant, of course) to say he'd never brought that jacket at all. They are showing their age -- well, my Dad is anyway. He can barely walk. I always feel that things happen for a reason, and that moving here while they're getting older might be the reason for this move. And my husband's Dad isn't doing very well at the moment, either, but it's frustrating to be clear across the country -- altho my husband will be seeing them this coming weekend.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Usually my husband comes home & asks what I did that day. Even on days when I feel I've worked hard, once I actually say it aloud, it doesn't sound like much. Not yesterday! I impressed even him.
1. Did the usual morning stuff -- played with & fed the cats, took the dogs out, fed the dogs.
2. Made crumb cake.
3. Made my 2 pie crusts.
4. Took the dogs for a 45 minute walk.
5. Did a 30 minute run on the treadmill, with the addition of a 5 minute warmup & cooldown walk (so a grand total of another 40 minutes). Exercise done for the day, 10,000 steps done.
6. Made myself some scrambled tempeh with red bell peppers, red onions, & chard for lunch.
7. Made the quiche, which involved rolling out the crust & putting it in the pie plate, frying up some veggies, chopping said veggies with tofu & seasonings in food processor, placing filling into crust. I seemed to have a pie crust malfunction -- it doesn't look pretty, but it tastes good.
8. Started a load of towels.
9. Rolled out other pie crust & put in pie pan.
10. Put together most of pie filling ingredients.
11. Started a load of sheets (these were still sitting in our guest room from my brother's visit at the end of May).
12. Made dinner, which thankfully was mainly leftovers.
13. Cleaned the bathroom.
14. Finished off pie filling, filled pie crust (this one, a slightly different one, was fine) , & baked pie. The crust may have been fine, but I stupidly added the hot, melted margarine to the filling with the chocolate chips in it. I think we're having brownie pie instead of chocolate chip cookie pie. So much for that recipe. Not a stellar baking day.
15. Folded up sheets with DH (I had done the towels earlier in the day).
16. Went with DH to walk the dogs.
Whew! All that's left to do today is the vacuuming & cleaning the kitchen. Only I want to drag DH to the farmer's market too. He doesn't want to go, but I told him we can't grill steak unless he goes hunting & gathering with me. That got a chuckle.
So why did I detail all that? The point is that while I was tired at the end of the day, I wasn't exhausted. And that's the payoff for a healthy lifestyle!
I still am not where I'd really like to be in the energy department -- but yesterday was a good day.
Friday, August 14, 2009
My parents are coming up for the day tomorrow; they might stay overnight. So yes, despite my recent setback, I am baking again.
The chocolate chip crumb cake is already done. Move over Enteman's! Yummy. I had half a piece. My plan at the moment is to have a brunch tomorrow -- little do my parents know that it will be a vegan brunch. Since I tried the crumb cake today, I won't have any tomorrow -- because I'm also planning to make a chocolate chip cookie pie (the crust is done). And a broccoli "quiche" and salad to round things out.
The good thing about the pie is that I can freeze it, since my husband will be out of town next week. If my parents do stay overnight, we plan to go out for dinner -- to a place nearby that serves both Japanese & Chinese food, so it should be a healthy dinner & not a problem.
Since my husband is out of town for a week, I'm free to eat the way I want to eat. Which is, actually, quite freeing. I made 2 chickpea dishes this week, & both are very good, but nothing he would touch with a ten foot pole.
I'm hoping that this latest weight gain was at least partially due to water weight & having a potluck the night before. Hoping, anyway! It can be so confusing sometimes: sometimes I eat a lot, and still lose weight; sometimes I can go out to eat before WI, and still lose weight; sometimes I can lose weight before & during TOM -- and then other times I gain. It seems as though sometimes I do the same things with different outcomes, but I suppose that that's the way life is.
Whenever I have setbacks -- not just with eating, with anything in my life -- I always ask myself what I am supposed to learn from them. And sometimes there's an answer, and sometimes I guess it's just that we can't always control the outcome.
The only real major difference in the last few weeks is that I've bumped up my "running". I've been running 3 times a week for a couple of weeks now. I'm on the last week of C25K, which means I'm running 30 minutes straight. It's still difficult for me, and I'm still not actually doing a 5k, which is frustrating, but once again, all I can do is keep working at it.
Could running actually be giving me bigger quads? It's not like I'm really doing that much or am that fast, altho I'm dripping with sweat when I'm done (and a fit grandma could probably pass me walking). But the legs on my jeans have been tighter, and I really don't think the jeans have shrunk.
Through rain, through sleet, through snow . . . ok, right now we're not getting any of that thank God, but you get the idea: I'll keep on keepin' on. My husband asked me if I'd been to my meeting & I basically grimaced. And he said well then you shouldn't go -- and I retorted that the one thing I've learned is that I NEED that accountability. I know where I'd end up without meetings. This is the same man who always wants the largest portion, who thinks vacations are an excuse to eat whatever you want while laying around all day . . . truly, my husband does have his good points, it's just I have no one to vent to about him here so it comes out in this blog. I wouldn't be with him after almost 24 years -- I certainly wouldn't have moved up here if I didn't love him.
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