Friday, August 14, 2009
My parents are coming up for the day tomorrow; they might stay overnight. So yes, despite my recent setback, I am baking again.
The chocolate chip crumb cake is already done. Move over Enteman's! Yummy. I had half a piece. My plan at the moment is to have a brunch tomorrow -- little do my parents know that it will be a vegan brunch. Since I tried the crumb cake today, I won't have any tomorrow -- because I'm also planning to make a chocolate chip cookie pie (the crust is done). And a broccoli "quiche" and salad to round things out.
The good thing about the pie is that I can freeze it, since my husband will be out of town next week. If my parents do stay overnight, we plan to go out for dinner -- to a place nearby that serves both Japanese & Chinese food, so it should be a healthy dinner & not a problem.
Since my husband is out of town for a week, I'm free to eat the way I want to eat. Which is, actually, quite freeing. I made 2 chickpea dishes this week, & both are very good, but nothing he would touch with a ten foot pole.
I'm hoping that this latest weight gain was at least partially due to water weight & having a potluck the night before. Hoping, anyway! It can be so confusing sometimes: sometimes I eat a lot, and still lose weight; sometimes I can go out to eat before WI, and still lose weight; sometimes I can lose weight before & during TOM -- and then other times I gain. It seems as though sometimes I do the same things with different outcomes, but I suppose that that's the way life is.
Whenever I have setbacks -- not just with eating, with anything in my life -- I always ask myself what I am supposed to learn from them. And sometimes there's an answer, and sometimes I guess it's just that we can't always control the outcome.
The only real major difference in the last few weeks is that I've bumped up my "running". I've been running 3 times a week for a couple of weeks now. I'm on the last week of C25K, which means I'm running 30 minutes straight. It's still difficult for me, and I'm still not actually doing a 5k, which is frustrating, but once again, all I can do is keep working at it.
Could running actually be giving me bigger quads? It's not like I'm really doing that much or am that fast, altho I'm dripping with sweat when I'm done (and a fit grandma could probably pass me walking). But the legs on my jeans have been tighter, and I really don't think the jeans have shrunk.
Through rain, through sleet, through snow . . . ok, right now we're not getting any of that thank God, but you get the idea: I'll keep on keepin' on. My husband asked me if I'd been to my meeting & I basically grimaced. And he said well then you shouldn't go -- and I retorted that the one thing I've learned is that I NEED that accountability. I know where I'd end up without meetings. This is the same man who always wants the largest portion, who thinks vacations are an excuse to eat whatever you want while laying around all day . . . truly, my husband does have his good points, it's just I have no one to vent to about him here so it comes out in this blog. I wouldn't be with him after almost 24 years -- I certainly wouldn't have moved up here if I didn't love him.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I feel as tho all I do lately is whine and vent. And no, this isn't a ploy for sympathy or comments (altho of course both are always welcome). The scale is moving in the wrong direction, and I really can't for the life of me figure out why. Sure, I could always eat better, but I just don't think I've been eating so badly lately to have gained back about 4 lbs. Until I put on my WI jeans this morning, I truly thought I'd lost weight. But the minute I put them on, I thought they felt tight -- which is totally weird, considering I thought jeans that were fitting tight earlier in the week were looser.
Same level of exercise. Really been working hard on controlling my BLTs. Working hard on making sure I get in plenty of fluids. Ditto on veggies -- altho a tad light on fruits a few days, but I hardly think that would cause me to gain weight.
I went back & forth on whether or not to blog at all today, but I know that when you least feel like, that's when you need it the most.
At this point, I could deal with a plateau -- I'd welcome it -- but the scale keeps going up! Well, yes, one week I stayed the same, one week I lost half a pound.
I was a pretty good girl at the potluck yesterday. Not perfect, but pretty good. I brought some WW dip with me (home made), and had some of that & some baked potato chips. One hot dog & 1 roll. Carrots & bell peppers. I had both a brownie & a cream cheese chocolate chip thingie -- but I split both with my husband, so that equals one brownie. Altho I did come home and eat one of the PB chocolate bars I made, so that was the not so good part. But I tracked it all, and frankly, I don't see that accounting for me gaining almost another 2 lbs this week.
I am frustrated. My parents are coming up for the day on Saturday, so there will be more baking. I haven't touched any of the cookies our friend brought over a couple of weeks ago. My husband will be out of town next week, so that's a good time for me to eat really well.
I often buy sushi for lunch (or dinner) when I shop, and I didn't this week, not wanting to spend the money. Must be it, right? I'm gaining weight because I'm denying myself sushi! If only. The only thing I can think of is just to redouble my efforts to get back to the basics.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I've had a nagging sore throat for the last few days. I was really hoping it was just an allergy, and maybe it is, but it now it seems to be the beginning of another cold. I don't normally I get many colds, so it's a little frustrating.
My new running shoes came yesterday. I'd hoped they would come in the morning so I could take them out for a spin, but they didn't come til evening. But then I was too tired & achy to run. However, I hadn't gotten in all my steps yesterday.
I was all set to make it a rest day -- I didn't do that badly, despite the fact that walking the dogs in the morning was my only exercise -- but I decided to take the new running shoes out for a walk anyway. And once I got walking, I magically felt better. The aches seemed to melt away. Because my husband wasn't with me, I took the dogs for a longer evening walk. We all enjoyed it.
Exercise is like that -- promise yourself you'll just do 10 minutes, and I can almost guarantee you you'll go longer.
I'm still feeling achy & tired this morning; not very congested -- yet -- but I can feel a lot of pressure up there. To run today or not to run? I'll probably give it a try. I don't have to make dinner since we have the potluck, altho squeezing in a run won't be that easy. So we'll see.
I'm still not in love with running like some of my SP buddies. I like the way I feel afterwards, but doing it is till hard for me. But I do love the way I can bang out a lot of steps in a very short amount of time. I suppose that's the way a lot of people feel about the 30 Day Shred, which I didn't like either. Hmm. But I've kept up with the running.
I use a paper food journal. It's a 6 month journal, and I just got a new one. I've started picking out just one or two goals to work on each day -- actually writing down my goal in my journal. I'm finding that helps me keep very mindful of that particular goal.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
No, I have not gone off the deep end and chowed down on some cookie dough or cake batter; don't worry. I still have a lot of organizing to do in this house. A LOT of organizing. We're mostly unpacked, with the exception of books that have nowhere to go at the moment. But many things are still waiting for real homes.
So what do I do? I throw myself into baking, again and again and again. Some people drink to forget, some people clean when they're stressed, some people eat their emotions away. I love to bake. Which is a tad ironic, considering I didn't teach myself to bake until well into my 20s, whereas as a kid I was happy to clean up all my mom's baking (she didn't like help in the kitchen).
Obviously I enjoy the end product, but it goes way beyond that. My cookbooks were one of the first things I just had to unearth here -- at least, my favorite cookbooks, which for the normal person would be 1 or 2, but for me is at least 20. I love choosing which recipe to try next. I enjoy the actual mixing up stage. The only thing I don't like about baking is the cleaning up.
My husband enjoys my baking, too. Oh, he'll complain that this or that isn't done, but when all is said & done, almost every night he wants to know what's for dessert (even if many nights all I have for dessert is yogurt, and he doesn't like yogurt).
I keep musing on how much I could get done in my life if I didn't pour so much time & energy into trying to lose weight, too. Because yes, it takes a lot of time & energy. The things I could paint, the things I could knit, the training I could do with the dogs.
Life is about choices, after all. You make your choice and you pay the price.
Ok, I'm rambling here. We have another potluck to go to tomorrow that we just found out about. Of course I did my food shopping yesterday. Normally I do it today, but I've got an eye doctor appointment and the two just weren't compatible. So I suppose that's the good news -- I have some time this morning (even if the morning is almost over). The potluck is at a state park I've been wanting to go to, altho I've been wanting to go there to hike & I doubt we'll do a whole lot of hiking tomorrow. Still, it should be fun.
I also have a slight, nagging sore throat that I'm hoping is just some allergies.
So here's to all those bakers out there -- you know who you are. You understand the siren call of the beaters, even in the heat of the summer when most normal people do everything they can to avoid the kitchen.
Monday, August 10, 2009
While I never felt I got off track, I must have subtly. I could feel the difference in my clothes. 3 lbs may not seem like a lot, but when you're as short as I am, it is -- in fact, it's almost 10% of the weight I've lost.
This past week I've really concentrated on minding my BLTs (bites, licks, tastes) & not having so many sweet snacks. I can work in sweet snacks like nobody's business, and they're healthy, too, but I have a tendency to go overboard with them.
I made an awesome peanut butter chocolate pie this weekend for our company (Smlove pie from Veganomicon, for those that want to know -- a real production, but totally worth it). Yes, there were tastes along the way. But I was mindful of what I was doing and kept them to a minimum, often putting the fork or spoon into soapy water after a lick or two.
My clothes are feeling looser. My collarbones seem more pronounced again. The scale may or may not validate me, but I'm pretty sure I'm heading in the right direction again. Only this weekend my parents might come up! So much to do, so little time, or so it seems.
On the bizarre front, we apparently have wild turkeys in our neighborhood. Took me 3 months to discover this -- I don't know where they were hiding. I was out finally starting my container garden yesterday, when I happen to see a very large bird in the neighbor's yard.
I quickly went inside to tell my husband I thought I'd seen a wild turkey. I'm sure he doubted me, but he did go grab his camera. And he concurred. It's a momma turkey, too, with babies. Baby turkeys, btw, are apparently pullets -- or so my husband says (he had to google it).
The momma flew over the neighbor's fence into the next neighbor's yard - and the babies kept walking back & forth in distress; it was so sad! I couldn't believe the momma had apparently abandoned them. Our neighbor came out, said the same thing had happened yesterday, and he had to "chase" the babies until they, too, flew into the next yard.
I've only ever seen a wild turkey once -- maybe twice -- before, but certainly never in my own neighborhood! We aren't deep in the country here, so it was pretty surprising.
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