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Trust

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Trust is a funny thing, isn't it? We would all like to say we trust ourselves and others, but how many times are we plagued by doubt?

We are getting a generator installed. It's something we talked about doing in Austin, but never got around to. This was in the works before our power outage last weekend. Last winter was a horrible winter here, and apparently our end of the street is prone to power outages; several neighbors have generators, and the previous owners had one, too. We may never have another outage, but it's nice to know that if we do, all the food in our refrigerator won't go bad (important for the raw food I feed to the animals) and we can still actually cook something.

So what does any of that have to do with trust, right? Well, the generator is going into where we have a small kennel for the dogs at the moment, and they had to remove one of the panels from the kennel -- freedom. That panel won't get reattached until my husband comes home tonight. The dogs can't hold it forever, and so I just took them out into the kennel even though it's not completely enclosed. Off leash.

My husband probably never would have done it. He doesn't trust them not to run off. While it's always a gamble, of course -- all it takes is one fleeing rabbit or squirrel -- I'm pretty sure that even if they made a dash for freedom, I could get them back. They didn't try it. They walked over to where the panel ought to be a few times, and all I had to say was "uh-uh" to keep them inside.

I stayed the same this week. Quite frankly, after putting on my WI jeans this morning, I was expecting a gain. I feel I've eaten pretty well this week, really paying attention to fueling my body, but I've just been so darn hungry I've also eaten more than I normally would. Not sure what gives. I was happy to stay the same.

I am trying to trust my body, but it isn't always easy. Is it playing games with me? Somedays I feel it is. Does it really need all that fuel? Does it need more? Less? Would it like more activity? Less activity?

Trust must be earned, after all. I feel betrayed by gaining weight when all I did was what I normally do. But even so I must trust that my body will eventually toe the line with my healthy habits and give up the extra fat it seems so determined to hold onto.

I happened to notice my weight ticker on my main spark page the other day. I started to muse about what a difference a few pounds make. They shouldn't, but they do. When you look at the ticker, you can see that they're a drop in the bucket. Yet they feel like so much when I pull on my jeans and they're clinging to my thighs.

I have to remind myself that just a few short months ago these jeans wouldn't even button. They may feel tighter now, but they're looser than they were when I bought them -- I couldn't even wear them then.

Now I want to ramble a bit. First, apparently I must've really touched a nerve yesterday -- I don't think any other blog post has ever had so many comments! And apparently my husband has a lot of twins out there, and that's actually comforting to know. It's always nice to know you're not alone in your struggles -- that's part of the beauty of SP.

Next, I must mention my WW leader today. She was a sub, and she was 82 years young -- and I mean that literally. What a hoot! I've never had a leader that old, but she was just a pistol, and kept us laughing from the moment she started to talk until we ended the meeting with a cheer (literally!).

I also like the quote she left us with -- I don't remember the exact words, but something to the effect that it's better to be a sloppy success than a perfect failure. I think that was it. And boy, does that ever describe me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEAKMAN 8/7/2009 4:49PM

    It is difficult to trust our bodies. Or at least it is for me. I haven't treated it well all these years, and I'm not so sure it really does know what is right. But I am learning to trust it, and I am learning to listen to it.

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SUZY6281 8/7/2009 3:04PM

    You are making real progress. When you feel a bit down, take a moment to look at your non-scale progress. That is what counts anyway.

Loved the quote.


suzy

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SEKSUNSHINE 8/6/2009 7:11PM

    Oh boy, any kind of success is a great one sloppy or not!

I can tell you if we still had our schnauzer and a panel would have been off the kennel it would have taken more than "uh,uh" to stop her from bolting. She lived on 3 acres that was fenced and the minute you left the gate open she was gone, like a 17 pound dog didn't have enough running room on that much ground! Glad you could trust yours.

You have the right idea trust yourself and your body!

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It's official: I'm mean

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

We're sitting outside after finishing our dinner, and I ask my husband what he wants for dessert. I have strawberry-rhubarb crisp or the cheesecake. He says he wants a big ice cream sundae.

I've already told him that someday I want to walk over to the kid's playland, where there's an outside ice cream stand -- about a mile or so away. We don't happen to have any ice cream in the house at the moment. He's tired. I'm tired & I have a headache. But it's a lovely evening. 2 nice days in a row! We sit around for a while, and finally I say let's do it.

I take some advil before we head out. I don't think my husband or the dogs were really thrilled about a "long" walk in the evening, but they both enjoyed the ice cream. My husband, naturally, had a coupon. Buy one, get one free. So we both got a small cup. I got real ice cream, so I didn't finish mine -- but my husband finished his & mine (and gave a minute amount of his to the dogs).

The funny thing is that I felt better when we got back. Despite the fact that it was about the time I normally get ready for bed, I washed up the pots from dinner, and made 2 trips downstairs to put stuff away in the freezer (and haven't yet touched those cookies).

My husband is so resistant to exercise of any kind; I don't know how I will get him to move in the winter. He just can't see that if he moved on a regular basis, he might not be so tired when he does have to do physical stuff. Or just so tired in general. Or maybe even that he could get off the blood pressure medication. I wish it was more expensive, actually, because then he would be more motivated to get off of it. It's very frustrating to me. OTOH, he is taking his own baby steps.

He wants me to mow the lawn. I steadfastly refuse. It's mean, I know, but he needs the exercise much more than I do. It's not like it's 100 and humid here like it was in Austin.

Maybe I need to take the occasional run by myself in the early evening. Running on the treadmill is fine most of the time, but I know I need to get out there & road run occasionally. Especially before winter arrives!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZY6281 8/7/2009 3:02PM

    I've got similar issue with my husband. I figure that eventually he'll want to start working out. He has gotten used to the healthy food and likes it. Like you said, baby steps. You can't force someone to take on a healthy lifestyle. They have to want to do it themselves.

You are a great example to him. Keep up the great work!

suzy

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STARTSPARKING 8/6/2009 1:58AM

    I agree with everyone else. You are definitely not mean, just concerned. I just hope that eventually he will see how much you care about him and will be motivated to be more active. You're doing well, so keep it up, my friend.


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DDHEART 8/5/2009 5:28PM

    Lean & Mean....a woman with a plan. I like your thoughts about an evening run for yourself...since there is a doggy sitter home then you won't have to run with your anchors and evenings can be a great time of day to get some fresh air and a little mental break from the stresses of the day. Now, as to getting the hubby to exercise....well best I think is to continue to do your healthy thing....walking to the dessert or coffee options is pretty good...least he gets a prize...and maybe eventually he'll think he's missing out on something when you keep going off to exercise without him. Worth a try anyway. emoticon

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 8/5/2009 11:53AM

    You are definitely not mean...lol. Glad you enjoyed your walk - it sounds wonderful!

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SLCB1023 8/5/2009 10:34AM

    You can't do it for them or guilt or nag them into doing more healthy things. all you can do is lead by example. Maybe when he sees your fabulous success, he will get the message. In the meantime, just take care of yourself and hope for the best. emoticon

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KEAKMAN 8/5/2009 9:09AM

    Judy, I think it's great that you got your sweetie out for a walk last night. Even if it was a whole mile out and another whole mile back! :) But he got ice cream, so he can't complain to much. Maybe if you find other within-walking-distances places to go for dessert, coffee, etc AND they have copuons you can get him to walk a couple times a week with you. That way you don't have to bite your tongue to keep from nagging, and he gets a treat for being a good boy! ;)

Tell him you'll be glad to mow - every week AFTER he has taken the dogs on a mile+ walk each day, you will mow for that week. Miss a day of walking, no mowing! Just kidding - that would only tick him off...

Are you crossing off the days on the calendar until your vacation? I would be!

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SEKSUNSHINE 8/5/2009 7:50AM

    Not mean at all, if I didn't work at home, we would divide the yard work. Because I am here it is just easier for me to do it, and it gets done when needed instead of waiting till there is time. I would do the same thing in your shoes. Stick to your guns!

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LAUSTIN68 8/5/2009 7:20AM

    You are not mean! Are you sure that you aren't married to my husband. LOL
I have the same problem with him. This thing is that he knows that he needs to move more, he just won't. Hang in there. Maybe one day they both will get a clue.

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KATELJM 8/5/2009 7:07AM

    No, not mean. But if you had a self-propelled lawn-mower, like our Toro, even mowing the lawn wouldn't be much exercise (I bought the lawn-mower in case I had to mow the lawn if DH were incapacitated); it would be close to just walking. So even when he was advised to be careful how much he exerted himself, he told the doctors how easy it was to mow the lawn.

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PIRATEPIP 8/5/2009 6:58AM

    You're not being mean, it's tough love! He'll thank you for it in the long run (and maybe you'll get to say the words 'See, I told you so!')
emoticon

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TIPPIMITCHELL 8/5/2009 6:48AM

  I think we're married to the same man, and you and I are twins separated at birth. Ha ha! Wow!! Good for you about the walk and the ice cream. My husband, while not on any meds, is overweight and hates to walk. I cut the grass for exercise (he wouldn't know how to start the mower if his life depended on it). He lives for ice cream; yesterday I made a big deal out of how I had 1/4 cup (33 grams) of ice cream and was satisfied, while he had a giant bowl of the stuff. I can out-mean you anytime, girlfriend! I think that in some way, even a small one, our actions are affecting our husbands who will come to see that walking can be enjoyable, ice cream satisfaction can come in small sizes, etc. Good luck to us both! And you are NOT mean at all!

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JLPNURSE 8/5/2009 6:47AM

    I agree. You are not mean!

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KDEEMAY 8/5/2009 6:20AM

    You're not mean! I'm a southern girl and where I grew up, the men do the mowing. LOL!
Besides, you're doing it for his own good. Look at it like you're doing him a favor by refusing. He'll have to do it and he'll get the much needed exercise.


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Fueling my body

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

This week my goal has been to make better choices in the snacks I eat -- more savory snacks that really fuel my days. I was doing well, too, until the power outage on Sunday. I didn't want to get into the refrigerator, so that limited me. I ended up with a Luna bar.

Luna bars aren't bad as snacks go, but they are very sweet, so I try to limit them in general. I'd been snacking on things like crackers & PB or almond butter or fruit smoothies. Fruit smoothies may be sweet, but at least they're full of stuff that's good for you, and with a little tofu or nut butter they have the protein to keep you full.

Yesterday I ate really well -- my lunch was baked tofu, seaweed salad, and red bell pepper slices (actually, it may sound gross, but it was really good). Ok, I didn't need the slice of tofu cheesecake, but aside from the sugar in it, it's actually pretty healthy and packed with protein.

The problem was that I was hungry all day. Like ravenous hungry. I ate healthy, nutritious, fueling foods, but I think I just ate too much of them. Part of it came from waiting on a contractor to deliver something, which delayed dinner, and I was hungry. Even after dinner I was still hungry. I really didn't exercise enough to explain the hunger -- aside from some yoga, that walk was my only exercise yesterday.

Today is a new day with new choices. And now I have a new goal to work towards. We are finally going to take a small vacation! I've been waiting for one forever. There was a time or two I was just going to book one, but my husband's schedule can be crazy & that makes it difficult. I was getting ready to just leave him with all the animals and take off! Or maybe I would've just taken the dogs. He can handle the cats on his own, but the dog can't be left alone all day.

Where we're going has a pool, and I'm hoping it won't rain so I can get some swimming in. I love to swim, and haven't been able to in forever, it seems. We are taking the dogs with us, so that will be very interesting. They've only been in a hotel once, and that was only for one night before we moved up here. I hope they behave themselves!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLCB1023 8/5/2009 10:38AM

    I have days like that too where I am just hungry. Not mind hungry, real body hungry. I think it is my body telling me that I have been too restrictive. If I listen and do a little extra eating (healthy foods only), then I am good for a couple of weeks. So learn to start listening and believing your body. emoticon

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 8/4/2009 7:14PM

    Glad to hear you are getting a vacation - after the last few months you've had, you both deserve it! Enjoy your time together and have fun!

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KARBIE18 8/4/2009 7:10PM

    So glad to hear you're finally getting that vacation. Hope you have a great time and get that swim in.

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DDHEART 8/4/2009 10:19AM

    Have a great vacation.....it'll be a good break after this past busy several months.

I hate when I have those days when I'm starved....usually when I look at my tracked foods from those days I see that my protein and fat....yes fat , are too low. I tend to go for fruits and veg first and foremost so I often have trouble getting enough protein and I have followed a low fat diet for so many years that it is hard to add even healthy fats, though the article I read this morning about absorbing nutrients better with fat in the salad dressing may help to get past this mental block.

Will miss you when you're gone....maybe they have wifi? emoticon

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KEAKMAN 8/4/2009 9:49AM

    Hooray for the vacation! When is it? I hope you have perfect weather and that the dogs are little angels the whole time!

I know what you mean about delaying meals throwing everything out of whack - same thing for me. I am really going to try to make the time for snacks at work. Things tend to get so busy that I don't stop from 8 to 1. I need to refuel my body more evenly!

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SEKSUNSHINE 8/4/2009 6:34AM

    Great! I will do my no rain dance for you so you can enjoy the pool!

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AMAANDAUD 8/4/2009 6:11AM

    Enjoy the vacation!!! Have fun!

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Best laid plans, take II

Monday, August 03, 2009

I'll make up for my lack of blogging this weekend with a double blog today.

All I wanted to do this morning was lay on the couch & watch all 4 hours of the "Today Show". But it's a beautiful day today -- no rain, relatively cool & not too humid. These days have been few & far between this summer, so I just couldn't lay on my butt all morning. There will be times I'll give into it during the winter, I'm sure.

It did take me a bit longer than usual to get moving, but I did get out with the dogs & head out to the canal again. I decided to do some walk/jog intervals. Today didn't feel quite as effortless as the last time I did these on the canal. Maybe because I'm tired. Still, I did about 20 minutes of jogging out of roughly half an hour of walking -- then walked all the way back. I was pretty surprised to see I'd already gone over 10,000 steps by the time I got home. I suspect I won't add too many steps to that today, but if I'd holed up at home like I wanted to, I'm sure I would have totaled far less for the day.

I continue to wonder if my walk/jogs outside would be a bit more effortless if the dogs weren't acting as an anchor. They appreciate a change of scenery as much as me -- they're so excited when we go someplace new or someplace we haven't been in a while. But after the first few jogging intervals they're dragging.

I think about getting a bike -- the canal is just the perfect place for a non-biker like me to bike -- but I'd wouldn't be able to take the dogs along. I could probably get Chester into one of those little baskets no problem, but I'd be afraid of what would happen to him if I fell. And I know Lola probably would never sit still in one, and she'd poop out too quickly running along the bike. I've already asked DH if he's interested in biking, but he isn't. I haven't been on a bike in at least 30 years, either. I just like the idea of being able to do some more cross training. Maybe I need to look into snow shoes for the winter. I've always been interested in that, but not too many opportunities in Austin.

I did come across something new today -- and I must admit it looked really cool. For the first time, I saw not one, but two trikkes -- www.trikke.com/HPV/index.html . It looks like fun. I'd never heard of them before.

The old me probably would've just stared at them in wonder, but I asked the first person I saw on one just what it is.

I also wanted to share a tip I picked up in "Chi Running" -- maybe it's old hat to you, but it was new to me & it works a charm. I always have trouble with my shoelaces coming untied. I'd pull them really tight, double knot them, and they'd still come undone. You simply tie them regularly, put the 2 loops together, and then shove them under your laces further down your shoe. I haven't had a sneaker come undone since reading that trick!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY4JEANNE 8/3/2009 9:02PM

    great job getting off the couch and walking the canal!!
:) Jeanne

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DDHEART 8/3/2009 5:57PM

    I had seen the trike in a catalogue about a year ago and thought it looked too cool....I'm like Kate I would love to actually try one though....my roller blades don't see much pavement time since I think my ability and the sand that always seems to be on the road here don't exactly mesh....I suspect the trike might find me similarly handicapped. LOL

Now a friend/neighbor of mine has a trailer they pull behind the bike....they picked it up at a rummage sale (it's supposed to be for a baby, but they pull their two "babies" in it) Around here that sort of thing is often found at rummage sales...maybe you could do something like that?

Well, I'm proud of you for fighting the lethargy and getting out today...nice days just are too good to waste...we had lots of rain last night and it all stayed in the air....yuck, but I got 90 minutes of gardening in before the deer flies started to taste my sweaty self and this afternoon went for our usual 5 mile walk....nice to move but hate the humidity.

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KEAKMAN 8/3/2009 12:56PM

    Okay, the Trikke looks like a blast! I wish someone around here would rent them by the hour so I could try one.

Have you thought about a doggie stroller for Chester and Lola? Something that you could pop them into safely and then do your jog/walk while they enjoy the scenery? I've seen people simply put their dogs into an umbrella stroller, but that doesn't look too safe to me. There are some pretty cool ones out there.....

Hope you resist the cookies - have some more protein to stave off hunger! (oh, it's lunch time for you!)

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LADYNLI 8/3/2009 12:56PM

    Thanks for the tip on keeping shoelaces tied. Mine are forever coming undone. I will definitely try this. I don't think I am coordinated enough for the Trikke. I had only heard of them recently. They would probably be fun, but not for me.

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SEKSUNSHINE 8/3/2009 12:45PM

    I just heard of the Trikke the other day. Daisybill has one, she says they are great fun. We don't have smooth enough streets around here. Glad you got out and enjoyed the day.

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RAINBOWSMITE 8/3/2009 12:31PM

    That looks like fun (and like something clumsy me would fall off of in two seconds, lol!). I also encourage folks to check out rollerskate/rollerblades as a fun way to exercise that's a little out of the ordinary!

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The best laid plans

Monday, August 03, 2009

Actually, all in all yesterday went pretty well, even if not quite the way I planned it.

We had a couple & their 2 young children over -- one of my husband's coworkers (actually, his one "employee" now that he's a manager, altho that's about to change). His coworker is a really nice guy, and has been really helpful to us, too.

As I was vacuuming at 8:30 in the morning, the power went out. We decided to take the dogs for their walk -- I suppose that's a good thing, left to my husband's devices, it would have been a later walk, but when he had no tv to watch or computer to surf on, he was ready earlier. As we were heading home, our neighbors stopped and informed us the transformer across the street had blown.

I was puzzled, at first, that I hadn't heard it -- those things are usually pretty loud -- but then I realized that I was vacuuming. Since it was a rainy day like they forecasted, we were a bit concerned about just what would happen with the dinner -- my stove is electric, and my husband doesn't like to grill in the rain. Not to mention what to eat for lunch. My husband was all for using the refrigerator, but I wanted to keep it closed if I didn't know how long we'd be without power. The power came back on around noon.

I planned personal pizzas for everyone. I'd made the dough -- something I hadn't done in a really, really long time, but have been wanting to get back into -- and wasn't quite sure how it would turn out. It was pretty good. I put out cheese & crackers & some chips & guacomole for munchies, but no one was munching at first. Eventually, though, people got into them, thankfully. The cheese wasn't really a problem -- I can control myself with cheese -- but the guac won't last that long and I can only eat a little guacamole at a time.

I also made a vegan cheesecake for dessert. It was ok, which was surprising, because almost everything I've made from that particular cookbook has been really good. Unfortunately, the wife of the coworker brought us cookies. I told them we didn't need anything, and I certainly don't need cookies! You know me & cookies by now. I had one, and I told my husband to put the rest in the freezer downstairs. Hopefully that's far enough away (the garage) so that I'll stay out of them.

Normally I send anything that's tempting to me in with my husband to work, but I feel that would be a bit tacky in this case. I may just take them to my small dog meetup this month.

So things worked out, as they often have a tendency to do, even though it didn't go quite as planned.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDHEART 8/3/2009 8:41AM

    I love how you rolled with the punches and kept it all together!

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KEAKMAN 8/3/2009 8:34AM

    Wow - no panicing! I would have been in overdrive if I had no power and guests coming over for lunch! You are such a calm cookie (hehe - I said "cookie" about you!)

Anyway, glad the dinner turned out well, and I hope you forget all about the freezer until your small dog meetup.

emoticon on having only one cookie and then putting the rest away - you have super self-control!

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SEKSUNSHINE 8/3/2009 6:11AM

    Sounds like a great day! Glad you were able to keep away from your "no" foods! If you were tired yesterday from the kid thing. Come to my house and I would really wear you out! Daily minimum of 6 maximum of 12 all ages. I'll work any cookie off you eat! LOL!! Have a great week!

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ALBA06 8/3/2009 5:42AM

  it sounds like not only did you have a good time but you managed to make healthy choices for yourself and really did a good job. congrats to you

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