Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Sometimes it surprises me that I have any blood left in my body, considering the times I have to bite my tongue til it feels like it ought to bleed.
I am lucky, I suppose, that I am not married to one of those tall string beans who can eat any crap they want and never have to move a muscle. That actually was the case when we got married -- except for the fact that he's short (in fact, the same height as Michael J. Fox, who always looked so short to me -- yet DH doesn't look THAT short to me). He was skinny, then, too skinny.
But that was many moons ago. Now he could stand to lose quite a few pounds; there's that embarrassing crack when he kneels down; he's on medication for his high blood pressure; and of course the fact that his father got dementia at a young age worries me.
Yet I know I cannot light the spark for him; it must come from within. I want him to feel the same things I do -- how much easier it is to shop for clothes, how much more comfortable those clothes are, how much more energy I have. I want that for him, too.
Yesterday I was tired. It's not like I did that much: walked the dogs, got my library card, went grocery shopping at a couple of different stores, did an exercise DVD, made a rhubarb-strawberry crisp, and made dinner. It doesn't seem like much at all when I relate it, but he pointed out, as he has in the past, that by making things like the crisp when I could be doing other stuff (like, oh, maybe going thru a few more boxes), I tired myself out.
That may be true, but for me, it's the only way I know how to lose weight: to eat real food, not stuff that comes out of a box or from a restaurant or a bakery. Real food with real ingredients where I can control exactly what goes into it. That's what works for me. It may not be what works for you, but it's what works for me.
Real food requires more effort, even if you're not baking desserts, and I personally feel it is time well invested.
So my once again rambling point is twofold:
1. We have to find what works for us, not what works for our friends, our coworkers, our family. We are all different, and what works for me may not work for you.
2. We can't help anyone who isn't ready for help -- not even ourselves. The spark has to come from within.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I remember reading a while ago about someone who worked out to musicals. She'd walk on a treadmill, and whenever a showtune came up, she'd run.
This weekend I taped "Mamma Mia!", which is one of the few movies I actually saw in a theater last year. Now, I can't say I was a rabid ABBA fan, but the movie (and I've seen the musical in the theater, too) is just so darn fun; how could you not enjoy it? I'm always in awe of someone with such a creative imagination -- imagine listening to ABBA songs and coming up with a storyline. And their sound was so unique.
So I tried it. Only since my jogging intervals were 10 minutes each, I just upped the speed when a song came on. It worked really well!
I don't normally walk or run to music anymore. I gave that up when I got my first dog -- and I've just gotten used to walking without music, plus it's safer for you, too.
Whatever works for you, right? So what does work for you? New ideas always welcome!
Monday, July 20, 2009
I thought I'd be going another day without blogging. Just not having a whole lot of thought about healthy living or weight loss lately -- not because I'm not keepin' on with it, just because sometimes the well runs dry, ya know?
But then I read this morning's daily Spark. For years and years, she could have been describing me, only I didn't have any health complications at all. I just couldn't seem to lose weight, no matter how well I ate or how much I exercised.
With last week's gain, the doubt around the corner reared its ugly head. I'm "thinner" now than I've been in quite some time. But I also have not been able to get too much below this point for decades. It isn't a healthy weight for my body, and I do have high cholesterol -- that is mostly what fuels my healthy lifestyle.
But then that little voice starts whispering again . . . maybe this is my "happy" weight. The weight my body wants to be. Not everyone can be even a size 8. I've been going up and down for well over a year now, but with the trend ever downward. I believe that this time is different, that this time I really can break through to a healthy weight I can maintain.
But even believers doubt sometimes.
I guess the answer is to accept that I have my doubts, but just keep on with my healthy lifestyle. Reevaluate when things aren't going the way I'd like them to, and accept what happens when I believe that I am on the right path, even when the scale doesn't say so.
There are many schemes and plans people come up with to bust through plateaus (altho I am not in one right now -- at least, not that I know of). In the end, though, I believe that belief is the only thing that will truly help you bust through the inevitable rocky road to health.
I choose to believe I can.
Friday, July 17, 2009
I can't change yesterday's WI. It won't drive me nuts, as someone mentioned -- it bothers me, tho; I'm human. I already am all too aware that weight fluctuates no matter how "good" we are, but that was one really big, unexpected fluctuation.
It would be easy to throw in the towel & say what's the use. If I'm going to gain weight no matter how good my lifestyle, why not indulge myself more? The answer is both simple and long:
Because I don't want to go back to the person who can barely move.
Because I don't want my double chin to resurface.
Because I don't want my collarbones to disappear.
Because I don't want my legs to rub together.
Because I love the light feeling eating well gives me.
Because I have more confidence now.
Well, you get the picture.
On the upside, I hadn't told my DH about the WI. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, whether they're good or bad. But this morning he commented again that I looked good in what I was wearing, which was simply jeans and a tshirt. But form fitting jeans and a form fitting tshirt (the laundry is in the machine as we speak, I was running out of workout clothes).
I've become hooked on the blog www.eatliverun.com . I've even begun to consider taking photos of my every meal (too bad I recently got my camera wet) and posting it to my cookbookmaven blog. I also know how much work it is to do that every day. I'm still thinking about it. But it's harder to eat unhealthy when you're showing the world what you're eating every day!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I admit it: I was flabbergasted by this morning's WI. It's a couple of weeks pre-TOM, and I definitely felt I'd gained something. But the scaled said I'd gained 2.8 lbs! WTF? I don't normally use that expression, online anyway, but really, I was in shock. In more than a year of weigh-ins, I've never, ever gained that much in a single week -- not on a cruise, not in moving halfway across the country, not with eating a high calorie meal the night before (none of which took place this week).
I can't for the life of me figure it out. I had a pretty good week workout-wise, and while that could cause a gain, my clothes aren't feeling smaller (but they aren't feeling almost 3 lbs tighter, either; maybe 1 lb, 2 at the very most). Maybe there were a few more BLTs than there should have been, but nothing out of the ordinary. No OOC syndrome going on this week, altho I was quite hungry some days as I blogged about. No more sodium than normal, not that I know of.
I sure hope this goes away as quickly as it appeared. I'm going to try to be more careful about portion sizes & BLTs this week. Was it a scale malfunction? Should I have asked for a do-over?
Funny, going in, as I said, I was expecting a small gain. It just felt like it. Last night I wore a dress I hadn't worn in a while; a simple cotton black dress, but DH commented that it looked nice. I said it wasn't new, I've had it for years in fact, but the body was new. We walked the dogs while I was wearing that dress, and my legs didn't even rub together (I hate that!). And now with one bad WI, I feel as if I've gained 10 lbs. Because it takes me so long to lose weight!
This too shall pass, and I know that. I just wish I knew why it came to pass in the first place.
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