Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I swear I'm ready to trade him in for a new model at the moment. Everything is about me, me, me. Something he often accuses me of, but he's damn good at it too.
Our plan for dinner yesterday was to cash in our coupons for the free KFC dinner. Only I discovered that the KFC that's really close to our home is closed, and because I'd just finished my grocery shopping, I didn't really have time to find another.
So my husband tried to go last night. And of course, after 2 weeks, they're still handing out rain checks. Which the manager told him had to be postmarked by yesterday -- which was clearly impossible by that point.
And when he called me to ask me what to do, I was outside with the dogs & didn't hear his call. Never crossed his mind that I take them out beore he gets home so that hopefully he doesn't have to the minute he gets home -- no, all he knows is he wanted to reach me & couldn't.
Of course we have things going on right now that aren't a whole lot of fun. We're both tired. We'd both like to have an uncluttered house. Didn't much help that his sister called last night, and told him his Dad (who has Alzheimers) is getting worse. What can you do about that when you live clear across the country?
He told me he'll be happy when the house is together. Before that it was when we would be together again (hello, that's happened, where's the joy?). He rails at me because I force him to come walk the dogs with me on the weekend -- time he could be using to unpack -- but I'm tired of having to always walk them on my own. I've spent more than a year on my own, and I'd like some company. I even shorten the walk for him -- half an hour will not make that big a difference in his life, but you'd think I'd just asked him to clean the house & cook all the meals & scoop the litterboxes.
So my roundabout point is that life starts today. Not tomorrow, not next week. And we can choose whether or not we're happy about that.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Many thoughts went through my head today. But today, for the first time since I moved (roughly 2 1/2 weeks ago), I did one of my exercise DVDs. Could you hear my sigh of relief where you live?
It feels good; really good. I chose a fairly new one, which isn't all that hard: just what I need to ease back into a little weight training: 10 Minute Solutions Tone up with dance -- somethng like that, anyway.
I haven't even tried all the segments on it yet, but it uses a stretchy band for the toninig; perfect when you haven't had any weight training for weeks other than moving heavy boxes around. I did do a SP video with resistance bands last week, too.
I'm usually dragging around this time of day, but that little ole exercise DVD sure did perk me up. Granted, I'd like to get back on the couch, but I might just tackle a box or setting up my computer (finally found all its components).
In another victory: finally found the key to my treadmill. If I can clean it off, I might just hop on it tomorrow. We'll see how much energy I have left after the food shopping (which reminds me I've still got to make up a list).
On the not so good side, or good side, I suppose, I finally won my battle with the DMV. I have our tags, finally. It only took 3 trips between the 2 of us, and numerous calls to our insurance agent. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say I was just about ready to shoot someone today. I don't really mind that they make it so convoluted, but I really do get angry when they keep failing to tell us something that results in our not being able to get our tags and eats up more of my time.
I got in a lot of steps today wasting my time walking around the "mall" the DMV is in. Which is a good thing, because even tho this weekend wasn't sedentary -- in fact, did a little bit of honest-to-God hiking at a local park -- I didn't meet my 10,000 steps either day.
I haven't made the best food choices over the last week. Not terrible, they just could be better, and the truth is I really just can't get away with a lot. It's always such a struggle for me.
Today wasn't any better. All that walking around and stress, and I wanted something. I finally got what was essentially a salad in a wrap -- and a brownie. I'll share the brownie with my husband tonight. I know that the wrap may or may not have been healthy -- a local place, so no nutritional info -- and I know sometimes those sorts of things can just be a landmine. But I was in no mood to go back & make myself something.
Normally I have no problems eating a brownie either, not when I make it a conscious decision and savor it. It's just that there's been a little bit too much indulgence lately -- little things, but they sure add up.
I will make sure to enjoy every bite tonight, and maybe leave just a tiny bit on the plate. And then I'll move on with my life. I feel better now that I have access to my exercise DVDs again, even if I barely have room to move still. I'll make it work!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I just want it done; I want the house to be clean and neat and free of clutter. Doesn't matter that it's taken me about 25 years to accumulate this stuff, I just want to spin my house and have everything go into its respective home. Too bad you can't do that.
There are days, too, when I just want to be done with thinking about food. I "should" be at my goal weight already, but I'm still a good 10 pounds away from it. Doesn't matter that it's taken me 47 years to get to this point, I just want to be thin for life without any effort. Too bad it doesn't work that way.
Of course, I don't always feel this way. If I did, I'd have given up already, on myself and my house. I refuse to give up. I know I am so much healthier than I was at this time last year. I know that I've laid in some really good habits that have gotten me through the actual stress of moving. If I'd been as heavy and tired as I was a year ago, this would have been that much harder.
Still, I'd really rather not have heard that I gained back the weight that I lost last week. Not terribly surprised -- I don't feel I had a bad week, but I did have a hungry week. And that's ok; I know I will continue downward at some point.
It's also ironic that I began tracking my food again this week. That's life for you sometimes.
I also know that I really need to start getting that weight training in. It's hard at this point in time -- I'm doing plenty of walking most days, but then I'm stuck in one place unpacking boxes. And by the end of the day I'm so tired I don't want to do anything more, but I know I have to make time -- and space -- for some weight training. Probably just resistance bands right now, but that's better than nothing.
I really, really, really need my DVD player. Maybe I can sweetalk DH into setting up the one downstairs, because that's the one without the sound system and is easier. Not that there's much space downstairs, but I'll make do. Unfortunately he's got a night meeting tonight and won't be home til late, so it'll have to wait til at least tomorrow.
On the good news side, I found my Vitmuffins & vitabrownies right in a local grocery store! I was down to my last vitabrownie. No store that I knew of in Austin carried them, so I always had to order them off the Internet. It might actually be cheaper that way, but still, I was pleased to see them right there (although I've already shopped that store a couple of times & didn't see it before).
On the more good news front, the grocery stores are really close to home. And the 2 different chains are right across the street from each other, so it's really easy to shop at both of them, since different chains carry different things. I didn't even use the GPS today to get to my meeting or home (that's how easy it is to get there).
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Sometimes I'm really just amazed at the way the universe works. After the great cookie escapade of yesterday (they're all gone; DH finished them off), today I decided to try the sample I'd received at last week's WW meeting: a chocolate chip brownie bar.
I'm not a real fan of most WW products. They tend to be really unclean (although they always taste really good). I read the ingredients on the bar, and they actually didn't sound too bad.
I opened it up -- and lo & behold, it looked an awful lot like a Luna "cookie" ( www.clifbarstore.com/detail/CLF+280+
I happen to enjoy the occasional Luna cookie, and I've yet to find them in a store here. I can order them off of the Internet. Still, I'm going to take a closer look at these at my next meeting. Sometimes I've found that the ingredients on a sample don't match the actual ingredients. If these do, I'm buying me a box. It's just enough to hit that sweet spot every now and again.
The funny thing is that I've been looking for them, too. And there they were all the time, apparently, disguised as a WW cookie.
It will be interesting to see how my WI goes this week. I'm planning to go tomorrow, which is a day earlier than the last time, because I'm just sampling meetings, trying to decide which one is the right one for me. There's a higher proprotion of older women at the most of the meetings I've tried so far -- no big surprise, really, since I'm going during the day.
But TOM started yesterday, and I've been hungry all week. Eating well -- even with those cookies -- but eating more than normal. Which is normal, I suppose, for TOM. But still no weight training, and I need that.
I got so lucky at my meeting in TX, finding my sushi buddy. One thing I find with the dogs, though, is that I'm never really lonely. Well, not that often. They are always there, ready to warm my lap or make me laugh with their antics (or tear my hair out, as the case may be).
Case in point: DH and I were eating dinner or lunch one time. I heard the telltale clickety-clack of someone's nails on our new laminate floors, and then heard a little whine. It seemed to be coming from behind the couch, which was odd.
When I went to look, there was Lola. She must have jumped up onto the top of the couch (she's not allowed there -- that's cat territory), maybe got into the bay window, then jumped down -- and was trapped back there, as there were large boxes at either end. I almost died laughing.
And yet more synchronicity . . . sort of . . . I picked up a brochure on "Local First" at the deli yesterday. I was surfing some of the Websites in it, and came across a coffee/sandwich place that looks interesting. That seems to have the scones, muffins, cookies, etc. that I was dreaming of yesterday. I'm trying to convince DH to come check it out with me this weekend.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Most people say that if you give up something for a couple of weeks, you're well on your way to giving it up for good.
I have been jonesing for a cookie, a brownie, a piece of cake. Oh, I'm not trying to give up sugar. Sure, sugar is empty calories for the most part, but I don't try to be perfect. I just try to be "good" about 80% of the time.
I am used to having at least one semi-rich dessert a week, usually one I've baked myself. And it's been about 3 weeks now. I swear, I was about ready to hold up a bakery. If only I could find one. Scratch that; if only I could find one that had what I wanted.
I went to the natural foods co-op today. They have vegan cookies & brownies, and other assorted goodies, and I spent some time drooling over them. But decided in the end that nothing was quite what I wanted.
Then on to explore a little, to a store called "It's Only Natural", which turned out to be a little disappointing. It wasn't quite what I'd pictured. But it was in a small upscale outside mall so I decided to walk around and check things out. Surely there was someplace selling a cookie.
No bakeries. A place called "Boutinful Bread" turned out to be a sandwich shop, which had some baked goods, but not quite what I was looking for. "Good Eats", as it turned out, was a deli essentially. Something they really don't have in TX, but there are quite a few here. My husband scored, because I picked up corned beef for his lunches.
I spied them while checking out. Not quite what I was looking for, still, but small chocolate-walnut cookies with an icing filling. Kind of like thumbprint cookies, only with a cream cheese icing where the jam would go. I'd seen them at another deli when we'd stopped to get subs last weekend, but I decided they would have to do. I'm getting tired of frozen yogurt. I enjoy it, but it's just not as satisfying to me as the crunch of a cookie.
They were good, too. I meant to leave a bite, but I didn't. There are 3 left. I could hide them from my husband and save them for another day for myself, but I'll share. I'll be better off that way.
I have every intention of making some cookies to freeze this week, no counter space be damned. I can't go on without cookies!
Of course, I could buy msyelf some Freihofers. You'd have to be from upstate NY to know Freihofers. I used to demolish entire boxes in one sitting as a kid. Entemmans are a close runner-up -- but I could still get those in TX. Freihofers is unique to here. It's home. But I know I just don't need the temptation of an entire box. Boy, I haven't had them in years!
P.S. I also spent some time in an independent bookstore there. Some good new cookbooks out there. Isa Chandra Moskowitz's "Vegan Brunch" -- can't wait! I love her cookbooks, and if you don't think vegan food can be good, get "Vegan with a Vengeance". Also perused "Vegan Scoop", which I'd read about. Vegan ice cream. Has been getting good reviews. I already have "Vice Cream", a similar cookbook, and I've never used it. Maybe because I no longer have an ice cream maker (used to have one, used to make ice cream -- it was fun, and hey, I used to live near the home of Ben & Jerrys in VT -- but never quite seemed to have enough room in the freezer).
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