JLITT62   52,035
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Back on track

Monday, January 05, 2009

Yesterday I was fine. The things that normally fill me up, filled me up. In fact, my plan was to drop my husband off at the airport, take the dogs to the hike-and-bile trail for a long walk, then maybe drive them up to the store where I buy their food -- somehow I'd managed not to buy any last month, and I was almost out. I was a bit worried that I'd be really hungry by the time I got home.

I followed the plan. I'd been waffling about going to the pet store; it's a bit of a drive, and usually I go on my way home from the cat rescue, since it's on the way, but I didn't have enough food to last me until Thursday.

Yesterday was a raw, cold (for us -- it'd be warm to a lot of people in the country!) day. After our walk around the hike-and-bike trail, I was astounded to see that I'd already amassed over 9,000 steps for the day -- and it wasn't even noon yet. Hooray! I could take it easy. And I wasn't hungry, so we headed up to the pet store & got what we needed.

Except I got home & remembered the SP bootcamp . . . I had my first video to do. It's only 10 minutes, but it meant changing into workout clothes. Because it was that kind of day, the dogs & I camped out on the chaise. I read some, and watched (and slept thru parts) of a movie. I didn't mind being outside during our walk, but I didn't feel the need to move again once I got home. And I didn't, not for a long time. Finally, before dinner, I changed and completed the SP bootcamp video.

It's always difficult when my husband leaves. It's funny how empty a house filled with 4 animals can be. We'd just had 2 weeks of being together almost 24/7, since he didn't have to work. The walk really helped -- kept me away from that empty house for a while. Thankfully the day before was my hungry day!

I guess the true moral of this story is to learn to listen to your body. It isn't about willpower. People seem to think I have that. Ha! I've just learned to listen to my body -- to know when it's truly hungry, when it's emotional hunger, when it's tired. I've learned that food isn't the enemy; that we can enjoy all the foods we love, in moderation, if we do learn to listen to our body. Except I can't tell you how to learn to listen to your body. I can't explain it. It's taken me many years to learn it, and I'm sure I can forget it, too. All I can say is just keep on trying. Most people who lose weight and keep it off fail numerous times before they succeed. It's like Edison and his lightbulb. He learned 9,999 ways not to make a light bulb.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MTER67 1/5/2009 4:16PM

    Loved your blog today! 9,999 ways NOT to make a light bulb! Ha, I think I can relate to that! Sounds like you had an exhausting, active day--I can't think of a better way to liven up an empty house! You are a pro at listening to your body now, but I still think you have a lot of willpower, too!

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JUDITH1654 1/5/2009 11:16AM

    LOL That was great!!!!

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Sometimes only a really big cookie will do

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Normally, I don't worry about one day of more than normal eating. And I'm still not worried. But I'd like the scale to start moving downwards again.

Yesterday, I employed all my "tricks". I thought about what I really wanted. I ate something healthy first. And I waited. And then I had my really big cookie. It satisfied me, but it still didn't fill me up.

I filled about three quarters of my plate with veggies for dinner -- literally. And the other quarter was a baked potato skin with bean puree and 1 ounce of cheese, so a totally healthy -- and should have been filling dinner. Only it wasn't. I still had dessert (a luna bar).

Yes, I'm about a week away from TOM. I suppose you could say I was having sweet cravings. I made sure I had the healthy stuff first, but then I went ahead and had what I wanted. And enjoyed every bite.

That's one of the major differences for me now -- if I want something; really, truly, want it -- I'll have it. Only I won't be furtive about it. I will put it on a plate, and I will eat it without a tv on or a book open. Once I've done that, I don't feel the need to go back for more. Because I paid attention, I was satisfied. It's when we don't pay attention to what we're eating that we tend to overindulge. Like an addict, we need more & more to get that same high.

It bothers me a bit because it's not as though I was depriving myself this week. We had a nice, rich dinner on New Year's Eve (altho I didn't have dessert). We went out for dinner on New Year's Day, and I did have dessert. And yesterday we went out for brunch -- not an all-you-can-eat place, but still.

Still, I feel good about yesterday. If the scale doesn't move, so be it. I hope it does, but I'll prepare for the worst. Because here's what I know for sure: sometimes only a really big cookie will do, and one day of eating more than I should won't throw me over the edge.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDITH1654 1/4/2009 8:20PM

    That is soooooo true! And good for you! Even the SP coaches indulge on a frequent basis. After reading their testimonials regarding that exact thing, I didn't feel so badly about allowing myself one Hershey Kiss or a small handful of M&Ms now and then. So good for you!!!!

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JANDELL 1/4/2009 7:36PM

    I feel that same way...sometimes only a really big cookie will do. I also feel that way about my fruit though. Most people like to buy those little apples that you can wrap your entire fist around...but not me. I buy the biggest ones I can get. Baby apples just hold no appeal for me...but, oh, those big ones!!! I love them!!! And people are always saying, "Just have one bite of cake". Sure....NOT!!!!!! If I'm gonna break down and eat cake, I want an average serving that I can be aware that I'm eating...then I go easy on that meal or the next one. If it fits in the calorie allowance, it's "legal"...right? I just try not to make it a habit. I think each person has to decide what's best for them.

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MTER67 1/4/2009 5:51PM

    "Because I paid attention, I was satisfied." That's so true! But, often I don't pay attention and I know I should. You are probably ALWAYS hungrier this time of month (pre-TOM.) Maybe you just never noticed it b/c you weren't as in tune to what you were eating. I think all your choices and decisions have been sound, healthy ones. Acknowledging your cravings and not being "furtive" about indulging them--your scale will be creeping down again in no time!

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Hungry day

Saturday, January 03, 2009

It doesn't happen real often, but I'm having one today: a hungry day.

I had a scone with a little peanut butter this morning. It is a treat, so I don't do it every day, but usually it keeps me full a few hours. Not today, I was starving before I took the dogs for a walk.

I'd bought a new protein bar to try, so I had a few bites of that. I didn't really like it. I'll admit it: I haven't tracked those bites.

After I walked the dogs, I had one of my favorite treats: a banana, yogurt, home made granola, with some soy whipped cream. Still hungry.

My husband and I decided to go to our favorite, local tex mex place for brunch. I didn't do too badly there, but I'm still hungry. I was thinking about making myself some cookies . . . but decided that I'd have an apple first. That way I have my fruits in. I may still have cookies later. I'm still hungry!

I'd say 95% of the time I'm satisifed with what I eat, and I'm not hungry. But every once in a while I just have a day like today, when inexplicably nothing seems to satisfy me. I am tired; that's really the only thing I can think of. I'd forgotten that I'd left a pan that needed some serious scrubbing in the stove, because one of my cats kept getting at, when I turned on the stove to preheat yesterday. I didn't even think of it when I started to smell smoke . . . I'm still working on it, but I think it's a goner.

I will do the best I can today to make healthy choices. I'd like to see the scale move; it's been a couple of weeks of small gains, which don't worry me -- I chose to eat well the last couple of weeks, and I'm willing to accept the consequences. Everything I've eaten, I've savored. Still, it's time to get back to "normal" eating.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARTSPARKING 1/4/2009 6:55AM

    Instead of devouring the entire house, good for you for eating small amount of healthy food and evaluating the situation before going for more. I know I am hungrier during TOM or when I don't get enough rest. I hope you can resume your normal eating soon.

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MTER67 1/4/2009 5:11AM

    I have days like that, when I feel like I am eating all day and nothing sticks! Hope you were able to conquer your hunger without too much frustration!

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ASTARB1 1/3/2009 6:19PM

    I've had those days - seems to be a monthly thing for me. I usually try to do exactly what you did. Substitute and positive self-talk.

Here's hoping tomorrow is a satisfied day!

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JUDITH1654 1/3/2009 1:58PM

    Every once in awhile, I go over my calorie range. As long as it is seldom rather than often, I don't worry about it. I think it's when we do it on a consistent basis that it can become a problem. And you made healthy choices so that's not a bad thing.
One thing I learned was discovering BRM (not sure if those are the correct initials) on SP and I learned that the 1550 limit is for losing but to maintain I should eat around 1830! So, if you only go a few hundred calories over once in awhile, you may not necessarily gain, just probably won't lose. That's when I would step up an extra bit of cardio to offset and you'll probably be fine.

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 1/3/2009 1:45PM

    Argh. I think it's natural instincts to be hungry when it gets cold. It's our basic survival gene kicking in......when are our bodies going to realize that we have furnaces and no longer live in caves? lol. Kudos to you for resisting those cookies and having an apple. Just for today........

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All or nothing mentality

Friday, January 02, 2009

The vinyl floors in our bathrooms and kitchen started coming up a long time ago. Since I'm not handy, I've just lived with it. But we're moving in few months, so they needed to be tackled. DH (who is handy) thought he could just tack them down. Unfortunately, he waited a week into his 2-week vacation to take a good look at them, and he realized the floors needed to be replaced altogether. So he's spent the better part of his last week of vacation feverishly working on our bathroom floors.

Those who've been reading my blogs for a while can probably read between the lines by now, but if you're new (and welcome!) let me lay it out for you: how often do we avoid taking a good, hard look at ourselves? Put off starting healthy lifestyle changes (or a diet -- which you should never do) until New Year's? Or tomorrow? Any day but today?

If my husband had just looked at the floors earlier, he could have worked on them at a slower pace, and been more rested by the time he left. Even if he had looked at them earlier, he probably would have spent just as many 12-hour days or whatever working on them. Because he tends to have an all-or-nothing-mentality. Whatever it is that needs to be done, needs to be done right this very second. And what happens? He exhausts himself trying to get it done.

Just like so many of us have an all-or-nothing attitude about weight loss. We have to lose that magic number, 2 pounds, every single week. We must eat within our calorie range every single day. We've got to make every single change, all at once. If we fail to do any of the above, we give ourselves permission to give up because it's just too hard.

You won't lose weight every single week, and that's okay. You won't eat within your calorie range every single day, but you should stive for balance over time. Small changes, one at a time, can really add up to a lot of loss.

This doesn't have to be about deprivation. You don't have to lose weight every week. It's okay to eat a little more once in a while. Nobody is perfect for their entire life, but we can be satisfied and happy with our lives, just by making small, simple changes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARTSPARKING 1/4/2009 6:51AM

    So often when we eat something sinful, we just throw in the towel for the rest of the day because we blew it anyway. Instead of trying harder to make better food choices the next time, we give up entirely because of our "all or nothing" mentality. That's how we get further and further off track. One less than ideal choice snowballs into a major derailment.

I have to remember the importance of balance over time. Thanks for another thought-provoking entry, my friend.

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JUDITH1654 1/2/2009 10:50PM

    Awesome observation! And so very, very true. And what a GREAT analogy! I truly believe attitude is everything, whether it concerns losing weight or accomplishing a task at work or home. You have all the right tools but more importantly, you have the right attitude!
Thanks for sharing! And see ya around Committed Lifers! We're so lucky to have you on our team!

Judith

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The best thing about losing 20 lbs

Thursday, January 01, 2009

It started with a cold. I don't know why, but I've often had success losing significant amounts of weight after being sick. Last year, in January, I had a cold. It wasn't a bad cold, but I wasn't particularly hungry. And I figured I could eat a bit less once I was feeling better.

I started investigating free, online sites to help with healthy eating. I landed on Ivillage's Healthy Living site first. I started using their nutrition and activity trackers. As I came across Websites in articles, I tried them out. I started watching the JoyFit club on the Today Show, and one day someone mentioned SP. I couldn't even hear what she said, actually, so I went to the Website.

I landed here in Feb. I didn't really start using it all that much at first. I still tracked at Ivillage, I didn't blog, but I did start reading articles.

Slowly, I created a Webpage and a blog. I began to join a few teams. I began to make friends. I have been exercising and eating healthy for a long time, but I just knew somehow that now I really needed to watch things.

In March, my niece got Bat Mitzvah'd. I agonized over finding a dress for months. But when I got there, somehow I got an infection under the skin near my eyebrow, of all places, and half my face blew up. It no longer mattered what my dress looked like, all anyone would see was my face!

I suppose, looking back, it was a blessing in disguise. I had to go to the doctor, and I had to get on a scale for the first time in years. Although I wasn't surprised by the number, I was motivated by it. Even though I knew I weighed that much, I couldn't really believe I'd allow myself to become so heavy.

Still, I only lost 1 lb over the next 6 weeks. Then I decided to take the plunge: I started going to WW meetings again. I became a lifetime member and a leader almost 20 years ago, but I've struggled that entire time. I've gone back several times, but I never seemed able to lose weight anymore. Even my personal trainer, a nurse, was convinced I had a thyroid problem (I don't).

A funny thing started to happen: going to weekly meetings for the first time in years, the weight started to come off. Slowly, in fits and starts, sometimes going up a small bit, but the trend is ever downwards.

But you know the best thing about losing 20 lbs? It isn't fitting into smaller jeans. It isn't the feeling of accomplishment, although both these things feel great. The best thing is that for the first time in my life, I feel mostly satisifed with my eating. I truly do believe this is a way I can eat for the rest of my life. I don't deprive myself, and that means I lose weight very slowly. But lose I do! I no longer am scarfing down an entire package of rice cakes after a WW weigh-in because I starved myself beforehand.

I still am fat. I still have at least another 20 lbs to lose. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know with the help of WW & SP, I will get there.

Thank you, all my SP friends. I couldn't do it without you. You mean more to me than you'll ever know.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAYANNEWOMAN 1/1/2009 7:58PM

    Yeah! Moving towards a healthy lifestyle is the key. I'm trying. You seem so positive - that's awesome. And accepting a steady pace. Good job. Want to be as centered as you are! Have a great 2009!

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STARTSPARKING 1/1/2009 3:32PM

    What a wonderful piece for me to read on the first day of a new year. There's no resolution to lose fifty pounds to fit into a red little number on Valentine's Day. There's no desperation to lose 100 pounds to get into the sexy gown for a June wedding. Just a wise woman's testimony to continue her journey to better health at a steady pace.

Thank you for sharing your story. Please know that YOUR support to me is invaluable. I wish you much continued success in 2009. emoticon

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 1/1/2009 10:47AM

    That is a nice feeling isn't it? Knowing that it is not a hardship, there doesn't have to be any deprivation and that we can handle this healthy lifestyle. It's like someone has given us a key as a gift and we have unlocked our own door of opportunity. Kudos to you JLITT62 - Big Thank You for being there for me! Enjoy your journey - Cheers to all we can achieve in 2009!

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