Sunday, November 30, 2008
Because when all else is said and done, who can you really depend on? Sure you can depend on other people, hopefully, but you are truly the only person you can depend on.
How many people depend on other people for their sense of self-worth? To feel loved? To feel appreciated? To feel successful?
I'm not saying you shouldn't depend on other people; of course you should. But it starts with you. If you don't feel successful, why would someone else see you as successful -- although we are often harder on ourselves than on other people, so others might view us as total successes while we feel like big, fat losers.
Every time we depend on someone else to make us happy or feel appreciated, we are giving that person an awful lot of power. Happiness begins with us. When we're happy, we make the other people around us happier. We are back to the snowball effect.
If we depend on ourselves to make us happy, rather than on other people, then losing other people of course will make us sad, but it won't cause us to lose ourselves.
My husband left this morning for a business trip (gee, could you tell?). It's a trip to Japan, and those are always hard because it takes him almost a day to get there and we can't talk while he's on his way. And even once he's there, he's so busy with work and jet lagged, that our conversations tend to be rather brief.
Yet I'm okay this morning. Sometimes I feel so incredibly lonely once he's left; today I'm okay. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he was home for a week and only went into work for a few hours on one day.
I can't pin my happiness on my husband, though. Of course I am happy to be with him, and of course I feel good when he compliments me. But he can't complete me, only I can do that. Stop waiting for the other people in your life to complete you.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I want to thank everyone for their support yesterday. I know that you are probably right, that the scale will reflect better next week my healthy habits this past week -- but every time the scale goes up when you feel you've eaten well and exercised enough, you (or at least I), can't help wondering. Did I really eat healthy? Did I eat too much, or too little? Did I exercise too much? Did I make unhealthy choices?
Sometimes I'm so confident that I am doing the right things, and at other times I'm riddled with doubt. I want someone to take me by the hand and hand me a simple equation: eat this, not that, exercise x amount each day, and you'll lose weight. But it's never that simple, is it? The weeks we lose we think it is; the weeks we gain we doubt ourselves.
I no longer give the scale the power I once did. Yes, I was disappointed yesterday, but that doesn't change the way I eat or exercise. Because I feel, as I wrote, that I did the best I could. I won't throw up my hands in the air and figure why not eat what I want because it's not working anyway. Because the truth is it IS working, only not always the way I expect it to.
To weigh or not to weigh? That's the question, isn't it? And here's my answer: weigh once a week. Weigh at the same time, on the same scale, each week. If the scale doesn't say what you want it to say, review your week. Maybe you'll discover something you can do differently going forward. Maybe you'll decide you are doing the right things, and you just need patience.
I used to think that weighing made me nuts. I'd play games, not eating or drinking beforehand to try to weigh as little as possible. I still play games, but not with the eating or drinking. I know things will even out as long as I stick to my healthy habits. But I might choose not to wear earrings if it's been a while since I've lost weight. Or I'll wear the same jeans every week (although this week I actually did wear a different pair of jeans).
I've come to realize that the scale actually is my friend. No, it doesn't always tell me what I want to hear -- but do your friends? Sometimes it tells me what I need to hear, just like a friend, even if it hurts. Sometimes it tells me things that I just know aren't true, like some friends. I'd still rather go through my life with my friends, even when they tell me something I need to hear that hurts, than alone.
Sometimes we need breaks even from the best of friends. We need a little alone time. That's why daily weighing usually isn't a good idea.
"Facing it — always facing it — that's the way to get through. Face it!"
-- Joseph Conrad
Today on Cookbook Maven:
Photos of my Thanksgiving dinner, and where the recipes came from
Simple roasted brussel sprouts
My recipe for roasted brussel sprouts
Friday, November 28, 2008
I gained 1 pound at my WI today. Yes, I admit to disappointment. But I really think I ate well all week, including yesterday. It's just one of those things. Maybe it's because I ate less for most of the week to save up for my holiday meal -- that's a pattern I changed a while ago, because it doesn't seem to work for me. I seem to do better eating more evenly throughout the week.
Maybe it was because Thanksgiving was the day before my WI. Since it was just me and my husband, I got to plan my meal myself. No appetizers, only one dessert, a healthy meal overall. Still, a slighter larger meal than I probably eat before most weigh-in's.
And maybe it's just because. I enjoyed my meal. It was a healthy meal, except for the dessert, and even that wasn't too bad. And I definitely earned it, with an hour of walking and another hour of exercise DVDs.
Sometimes when I gain, I can look back and see little things I could do better. Truly, this week, about the only thing maybe I would change is eat just a little less turkey. And I know that a few extra ounces of turkey -- even with the skin -- wouldn't cause me to gain a pound. A few extra ounces everyday, even though turkey is healthy, could.
I thoroughly enjoyed my meal. Not only that, I can really appreciate the changes in my body, too. I have a long way to go, still, but I have a come a long way too, and I will never forget where I started. I appreciate the me I am today.
So I will keep on keepin' on, firm in the belief that my healthy habits will carry me along to my goal weight someday.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
And why that might be a bad thing.
I guess I can be sometimes. My husband wonders why things have to be done my way -- in the kitchen, with the dogs. Well, even he admits I've done a pretty good job training the dogs, so it's working -- why wouldn't you listen to what I have to say about how to handle them?
The kitchen? It's mine. I don't tell you how to do things (although considering you're always asking -- don't ask if you don't want to listen to what I tell you!). When you start doing the majority of the cooking (like when hell freezes over) then you can arrange the kitchen the way you want.
He can be pretty controlling in his own ways. Like always telling Lola to lay down when we're in the car. I don't care if she stands, sits, or lays down as long as she's quiet (and hasn't tangled her leg up in the leash that buckles her in).
Still, being controlling isn't always a good thing. Sometimes we have to give up some control. Accept a less than perfect job so that we might have some me-time, for instance.
We have a tendency to believe that only we can do things the "right" way. And that can lead, partly, to our weight issues. Because when you never let anyone help you, you don't have enough time for yourself. To let people in, sometimes you have to give up that control, accept a less than perfect job, and THANK them for it. Hey, it's almost Thanksgiving, after all.
I admit this IS still something I struggle with. I keep working on it. At least I know it's an issue, and that's always the first step.
On Cookbook Maven today:
I bought the Oliso Frisper vacuum sealer yesterday. My thoughts on it at judysworld.net/cookbook/2008/11/olis
My first thoughts on my newest cookbook purchases, Table for Two and Angel Foods at judysworld.net/cookbook/2008/11/tabl
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
In a small bit of shameless self promotion, I wanted to share with you one of my newest ventures: Cookbook Maven at www.judysworld.net/cookbook . It 's a blog about cookbooks, food, some recipes and cooking tips, and what I'm eating. It's still a bit rough around the edges, so be kind! And if you have any suggestions, let me know.
It's an idea I had a long time ago; a blog mainly about cookbooks. Over the years, the idea has simmered on the back burner, and as often happens, it's taken a few twists and turns.
I wanted to get this out in time for Thanksgiving. Especially since my husband is home, and he takes much better photographs than I do! And I have some posts I need to make and date a bit further back -- I forgot about some of the dishes I made a while ago and took photos of. Some of them were really good, and some of the photos actually weren't half bad.
I'll talk some about weight loss and weight management there, too, so it's not completely off topic. But this blog will remain my main avenue to explore my weight loss journey. Cookbook maven is about my passion for cooking, baking, and cookbooks.
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